WEBVTT - Mental Health Checkup 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heard radio podcast. 0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:10.040 We just started the show. We were talking and Easton goes, 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:14.840 we're talking about people's voice, like sometimes people's voice. I'm 0:00:14.840 --> 0:00:17.639 just like, oh no, oh no, I don't like your voice. 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:20.520 It's hard. Well, and that's like my biggest I hate 0:00:20.560 --> 0:00:23.000 my voice. I hate my voice too. How many people 0:00:23.040 --> 0:00:27.520 hate my voice? Not many at all, but you know, 0:00:27.640 --> 0:00:29.920 I mean there's got to be I mean, Easton says 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:32.400 he hates his voice. I love your voices. Anyone likes 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:36.360 their voice, Thank you, jan It's very kind of you. 0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:38.360 You know, when I when I first started in a 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:40.760 radio I was doing talk radio. I got a lot 0:00:40.840 --> 0:00:42.880 of complaints about people who didn't like my voice because 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:44.360 I didn't sound I was doing news and I didn't 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:50.080 sound authoritative. They said, interesting, Yeah, I've grown to ignore it. 0:00:50.159 --> 0:00:52.640 But yeah, I'm not a fan of my voice. But 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.160 anyone actually likes her voice. But I think it's because 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:58.240 it sounds different than what you hear. Oh for sure. 0:00:58.360 --> 0:00:59.920 So I just think that of course they're not going 0:00:59.920 --> 0:01:02.120 to I don't know. Sometimes I cringe when I listened 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:05.440 back to this podcast. Oh it's because I'm like, you 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:11.119 sounded so like a little ultimate way to judge yourself, 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:13.560 because go back and listen to yourself on a podcast. 0:01:13.600 --> 0:01:15.600 I know it's really hard for me to listen, but 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:18.840 I listened because I remember such a great guest. And 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:21.240 I'm like, why do I sound like? Or like why 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:22.840 did I say it like that? Like I'm like like 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:24.840 when no wonder why people like written me? Apart it? 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:28.440 Sometimes I'm like I sound just and then I'm I'm 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:30.240 ripping myself apart. I'm like, I'm going to go and 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:33.880 write it right now and myself apart. Two We're literally 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:36.200 just like having a conversation, not thinking and like I'm 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:38.040 not going to judge you for being stupid or whatever 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:40.760 you say. Later it's like, oh man, we were just 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:42.480 gonna talk in and now people are like what are 0:01:42.480 --> 0:01:46.160 they talking about? Yeah, that's interesting you say that they 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:50.960 didn't think you were authoritative? Like what I don't Okay. 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:52.960 There was this one guy I went on a date 0:01:53.000 --> 0:01:57.960 with and he had a very well broadcaster speaking voice, 0:01:57.960 --> 0:01:59.320 and I was like, oh no, this isn't gonna work. 0:02:01.840 --> 0:02:06.200 I can't like it's it's everything was like so theatrical 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:10.400 and uh and I'm like, what does that layer look like? 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:12.800 When that's gone, and there was. I never saw that 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:14.560 layer and I didn't even give it a second to 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:18.880 see because it was just too much, too much. I 0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:26.400 just can't. Um, you know that was that was a 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:30.240 one and done um. But it's you know, it is 0:02:30.320 --> 0:02:36.200 very interesting and again the whole critical just beating ourselves up. 0:02:36.240 --> 0:02:39.959 I went and had this, UM, I actually want to 0:02:39.960 --> 0:02:42.840 get her on the show. I got hypnotized yesterday. Have 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:46.840 you ever done that before? No? Oh my gosh, how 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:53.640 was that? It was amazing? Like it was It's like 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:59.680 this deep, deep, deep meditative state. It's very strang It's 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:03.720 like but like I have never felt so like I've 0:03:03.760 --> 0:03:07.160 meditated before, but this is like a whole different, like 0:03:07.440 --> 0:03:14.160 layer of meditation. I'm skeptical. Obviously so was I because 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:15.960 I was just like, honestly, I didn't want to do it. 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:17.640 But then I felt bad because'm like, well, it's like 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:21.399 I have no excuse, the kids are not being we're 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:26.480 doing quiet time, you know. I said, yes, so let's 0:03:26.520 --> 0:03:29.240 just let me just do it. And uh, I'm so 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:31.959 glad I did because she's awesome. I'm actually gonna I 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:36.560 texted Amy and Danielle are producers right after I was like, 0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:39.120 we have to get her on, so we're gonna get 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:40.920 her on and she's gonna do like this group thing. 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:43.320 So you can be skeptical in that. But no, it 0:03:43.400 --> 0:03:47.640 was just because there's something about meditating, right where how 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:52.920 do you meditate? M I try? No, Well, like when 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:55.720 you and trust me, I get it. I have. I've 0:03:55.760 --> 0:03:59.200 consistently been the worst meditator in the world. I mean 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:03.840 I'm like, oh, what am I doing today? Or what? Yeah, 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:08.000 but there's these few like three minutes six minute things 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:10.120 even that what Amy does in the office, Did she 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:13.040 ever do that with you? I don't think we in 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:16.200 the office. I'm gonna have to have for you. It's great. 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:22.600 She's like, you're not gonna like that, but no, like, 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:26.240 once you really and then you go to your happy place, 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:30.800 like my calm, peaceful place that I've created in my mind. 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:32.760 So whenever I get anxious, And this was a really 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:35.800 good anxiety lesson for me when I was at on site. 0:04:35.839 --> 0:04:38.440 This is something that Jackie, my my therapist, did with me, 0:04:38.480 --> 0:04:43.200 and and she it's just I did it for what 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:46.359 four straight days, and it was so amazing how much 0:04:46.520 --> 0:04:48.960 once I went through the even three or you know, 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:50.799 three minute was like the shortest one in six minutes 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:53.200 was the other one. I I was just like okay, 0:04:53.400 --> 0:04:58.359 Like I was like baseline, like I'm good, like nothing really, 0:04:58.400 --> 0:05:01.039 I wasn't like all my like heightened anxiety or stresses 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:04.120 or this. It's just all just like well that's good, 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:07.400 but it's hard to do, Like how do you not 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:09.800 think about anything? I don't see, but you can you 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:13.080 invite it in okay, and you say I'm not right now, 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:15.600 you know, Okay, Yeah, so immediately I get a thought 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:17.080 and I'm like I wasn't supposed to be thinking. Well 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:18.600 that's the thing saying. I'm like, oh god, now I'm 0:05:18.640 --> 0:05:20.960 like and then now I'm thinking and then like I 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:23.159 don't remember that part because I thought it's like okay, great, 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.359 but you just you keep just you're training yourself to 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:29.000 like go back to this balloon floating in the air 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:33.080 or whatever it might be. But it was great. But 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:37.880 the hYP hypnotizing piece, you go even like underneath that layer. 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:41.440 So you're just like, I mean, I felt like I 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:44.320 was like melted in my chair. It was wild, y'all, 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:46.880 we're going to have her on and then he had 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:53.320 a parent. After that, I was like, look, I need 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:58.880 do that hypnotized He didn't text me, fine, I don't care. 0:05:58.920 --> 0:06:05.159 Whatever I deserve better? Was this yesterday? Yes? Okay, Now 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:10.880 our text that was part of it. She like hypnotized 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:17.240 me and give how often can you do you should you? Well, 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:20.320 she'll tell you, she'll tell you all those things. But yeah, 0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:23.039 because we're definitely gonna have her on. She's awesome, amazing. 0:06:23.560 --> 0:06:26.159 But it was just funny because but it was more 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:28.880 and I'm I'm gonna get to the point. Okay, I 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:33.479 kind of went off, But the point was is I 0:06:33.560 --> 0:06:36.640 have such um and you know those too. I've passed 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:40.200 out from it in times when I see a headline 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:45.200 or I get hate or I mean, I my anxiety 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:49.640 levels go so high that I'm trying to now stabilize 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.039 that where I can look at it and go it's 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:55.360 not going to make me hyperventilate to pass out. So 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:58.640 or if I you know X, Y or Z so 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:02.360 or if I I don't know, read anything, it's kind 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:05.280 of like, Okay, that's cool. They that sucks. They have 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:07.520 that thought about me. But so it's about kind of 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:10.000 going to that level and then just like you know, 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:14.560 letting go of that energy. I mean, I can say 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:18.240 the difference between you even just years ago and now 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:22.200 with like panic attacks and anxiety from the outside looking 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:26.640 in is tremendously different. I mean, I was thinking the 0:07:26.640 --> 0:07:29.800 other day about not even the plain story, which is 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:34.480 my best anxiety story panic attack for you around. But 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:35.680 do you know what I remember? I wanted to know 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:37.600 if you remember this. Oh God, there's been so many 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:40.960 when I first started working with you, I will never 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:44.680 fade it. No, no, no, no, no no. I was 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:49.120 still at home. Oh the church, Nope. Oh I called 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:50.560 you at a church. Remember I then drive. I was 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.080 having a panic attack, and I made you come pick 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:54.760 me up at the church on Concord and whatever. Every 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:57.720 time I passed, I'm like an anxiety tack there, nod 0:07:57.800 --> 0:07:59.440 cat come pick me up. Because me and Branlely got 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:04.000 no fight. There's that one, dude. I'd forgot about that. No, 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:07.640 I had not gone back to work. Emmy was still 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:10.080 because we started working with Emmy was like five weeks old. 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:12.880 I mean, I can picture myself in the bedroom dealing 0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:15.280 with this with the baby you bore. Think. I'm so 0:08:15.320 --> 0:08:19.000 sorry you were to go from somewhere to like a 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:25.760 radio show and you wouldn't go in the airport Atlanta. 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:30.480 I'm like, this is my first interaction with you, really, 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:35.160 and I'm like, what the hell am I supposed to do? 0:08:36.760 --> 0:08:38.320 I'll never forget it as long as I live. I 0:08:38.320 --> 0:08:40.720 was like, just walk in, Like I just just walk 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:43.680 and just go. She didn't understand I was having such 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:47.000 a bad anxiety. I just visited Brantley or we just 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:52.000 started dating, and I was like, the Atlanta airport is 0:08:52.160 --> 0:08:56.880 very stressful. Fair it is, I mean it's so stressful. 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:02.559 And I just yeah, I did the whole of getting 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:04.680 in that one tram thing and then it's just so 0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:07.160 many people. And so I called her and I just 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:09.320 I could feel my heart. I'm like, I'm gonna pass out. 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:11.880 And I was like, Catherine, I can't. I can't walk 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:16.520 in the airport. Mind you not to laugh about it. 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:20.160 I had truly not dealt with anxiety really with someone 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:22.880 before you. So I'm over here trying to be like, 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:25.400 you know, we just started working together. Front of the other. 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:28.520 I'm like I'm calling everybody. I'm like, hey, like the 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.200 radio rap, I'm like, should I'd not be walking? Like 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:32.559 what do you mean? You just have her walk in 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:34.160 the airport? I'm like, I mean, I'm not there. I 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:36.959 can't force her the next thing, I know, you're not 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:39.600 going in the airport or driving back. I couldn't do it. 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:43.080 I just I just I physically couldn't do it. I remember, Yeah, 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:46.080 his brother had to drive me, and was I with 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:49.160 the guitar player. I can't remember meeting everyone there and 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:52.719 oh yeah, but yeah I had to drive because I 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:54.600 didn't drive. I had someone driving me. But it was 0:09:55.360 --> 0:10:00.240 because I just I physically couldn't go in. But yeah, wow, 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:03.320 well yeah I thought about that was a blast. You've 0:10:03.440 --> 0:10:06.560 come a long way and I wouldn't even travel alone 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:12.680 up until really since my divorce. Yeah, I mean, even 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:15.040 if you had to, if I had to, But I 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:17.400 remember I had a panic attack when I was It 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:20.160 was actually the show that Easton was at UM when 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:22.920 he sang it, which we totally put back up on 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:26.320 Socialis the other day. Um, even Easton came on stage. 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:29.400 But I had a panic attack with Mike leaving, and 0:10:29.440 --> 0:10:31.040 I was like, I can't like and I was even 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:34.000 with my band guys, but I just I didn't even 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:37.240 want to fly then without him. I mean it was like, yeah, 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:39.640 but if I had to, had to I wouldn't cancel 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:42.080 a show, but I mean there were times when I'm like, 0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:46.600 can I cancel the show? But I was telling this 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:52.439 hypnosis lady that my anxiety truly went away after my divorce. 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:55.400 Now I still have bouts of it. I know i'd 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:58.760 handle it now, but I mean the massive anxiety attacks 0:10:58.800 --> 0:11:01.880 they have not so crazy. Yeah, I mean I've had 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:05.200 like moments of like anxiety obviously that you saw, and yeah, 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:08.080 but it's so different, so differently. And that's me coming 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:10.560 from a person that doesn't even truly understand the difference 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:13.440 between anxiety panic. I'm not trained on that, and it 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:18.720 is just from what I see, it's so different. Yeah, 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.080 you just brought up every story though. I was like, 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:26.080 oh that one that No, the church, No, not that 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:30.280 one either. Okay, Yeah, I took a good time. I 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:34.920 unloaded a lot of drama. I took a control and 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:40.440 I yeah, I just I'm writing about that too because 0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:41.840 I know a lot of people deal with anxiety and 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:44.320 it's not fun. And um, maybe we can even talk 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:49.000 to our amazing doctor Christina about that. She's going to 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:53.120 be coming on um the show. She's a licensed clinical psychologist, 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:56.240 so I think i'd love to just ask her kind 0:11:56.280 --> 0:12:01.200 of that what she sees with people that leave certain situations. 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:04.040 And then because I think stress holds so much in 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:07.360 your body when you're you know, I don't know, maybe 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:11.040 that's just me. But because she deals with trauma, PTSC, 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:13.560 substance abuse and addictions. So, um, we're gonna get her 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:18.240 on the show. But before we do, Um gosh, that 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:21.360 was such a memory down memory lane. Um. I want 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:24.720 to talk about Dime. They are a sponsor of this podcast, 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:28.800 so I get you know, we do products I do. 0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:35.440 I have different skincare regiments, but what regiments, regimens, regimens 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:44.120 or is it really regimens? And it's a It's great 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:48.920 because Dime is by far the one that I've been 0:12:48.960 --> 0:12:51.920 most consistent with on a regular basis. It makes in 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:55.400 other things, but Dime is Dime is awesome. I've gotten 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:57.280 a lot of people on it. What I started with 0:12:57.360 --> 0:13:01.079 it was the hyaluronic acid serum u UM. I am 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:04.319 so obsessed with hyaluronic acid serum because it's not only 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:08.240 boost at hydrates, at locks and moisture. There's a lot 0:13:08.280 --> 0:13:10.640 of benefits. Um. It's not just for dry skin, but 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:13.640 it just gives you that extra kind of hydration and 0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:17.520 plump nous um. So I love that. I also want 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:21.920 to talk about their wonder screen SPF thirty. I just 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:24.520 have started wearing sunscreen, and so I've been testing a 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:26.240 lot of them out and I love. It's a clean 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:28.640 mineral sunscreen, so it's you you can use it for 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:32.240 every day. Um. But it's SPF thirty, it's super lightweight, 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:34.679 it's non greasy, non drying, like I love all of that. 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:37.240 And then I lashed boots syrium, so I have lashes 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:38.920 on right now, just because you know, going in and 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:41.080 out of working, it's just easier to have the lashes on. 0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:44.839 But I'll tell you what. The eyelashed boot serum grew 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:49.120 my lashes so long during um COVID that I was 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:52.800 just like, thank you, it's so good. Um, did you 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:54.520 have them on for a while. It wouldn't come off 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:56.680 for a long time. They made them longer and thicker 0:13:56.720 --> 0:14:00.320 and fuller. And so my routine that I do with 0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.880 Dime is I they had this cleansing phone, so I 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:07.360 love the cleansing phone. And then I washed my then 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:10.240 and then after I washed my face, I put on 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:13.880 the hyaluronic acid serum and then from there whether it's 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:15.800 the day or night. But there's the dewey day cream 0:14:15.800 --> 0:14:19.400 and then there's the night time restorative cream. So I 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:22.480 put that on. And they also got a great under eye. Um. 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:24.560 But you know it's great too. About Dime is they 0:14:24.600 --> 0:14:28.280 have you always are like what lipstick color? Like? I 0:14:28.360 --> 0:14:31.600 love Johnny. I just bought a new one, Noah David 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:36.040 are the coolest colors? Like ones? Really? Johnny is really 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:38.360 good for like spring, summer, fall. I mean they're like 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:40.800 so good. And then Noah is like I wear that 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:44.800 one pretty much throughout the entire year and they stay 0:14:45.000 --> 0:14:48.720 so good. Yeah. I love Johnny. It has like like 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:51.000 a pinge of like orange on most in it. Yeah, 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:54.400 I like Johnny Love. Do you to the TVT serum? 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:58.240 Can you do that in the lauric acid? Oh yeah, 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:01.400 oh you just like layered up off. Okay, I'm just wondering, 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:03.080 like I'm just doing this I'm supposed to because I 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:04.600 don't know what I'm doing. Yeah yeah, yeah, but I 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:06.640 just love all the serums. Know, the serums are great, 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:09.560 The TVTS are good. Um, they actually have really good 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:11.480 fragrances too. I mean all the products are really good. 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:14.160 They're vegan it's a female on company, so she's great. 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:18.200 She's um. You know, I'll support any working mom. Yeah. 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.800 I mean they're they're really good products. So I want 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:23.840 to make sure you guys get um a percentage off. 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:26.880 So when you guys try these products out, make sure 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:31.680 you use my code wind down twenty off your entire order. 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:35.200 And remember Dime also provides free shipping on orders over. 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:51.960 If you haven't tried Dime Beauty yet, make sure you do. Hi, 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:54.560 how are you? How are you guys? Oh? Good? If 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.760 my phone doesn't in my backyard, you're so where are 0:15:57.760 --> 0:16:03.120 you located? Hi? S F Bay area backyard? Curty? Did 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:08.000 you say San Francisco? Yeah? I love San franc That 0:16:08.000 --> 0:16:11.080 sounds so nice right now now, I love San franc 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:15.760 I just was recently. They're visiting a friend, and I 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:21.440 like ran the pier and it was just so beautiful. Yeah, beautiful, 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:24.000 And I honestly, I don't know. I was just like, 0:16:24.120 --> 0:16:26.200 oh man, it was. I ran all the way down 0:16:26.240 --> 0:16:28.640 to the bay, the Bay Bridge, and then I ran 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:33.160 to the golden Golden gate bridge like by the little 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:36.520 I mean, I was like, you know, I was very slow, 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:40.000 but I did it, and it was so much fun um. Yeah. 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:44.520 I mean it's an active city. It's really chill weather, 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:47.800 which is nice. Yeah, and you know, just for two 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:52.400 million dollars you can have a shock, I mean for 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:59.200 two So yeah, are you Are you from the Bay Area? Yeah, yeah, 0:16:59.240 --> 0:17:00.680 I'm from the East Coast when I was younger, but 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:02.960 I've been out here since I was like, you know, 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:06.080 middle school and haven't left, so I like it. It's 0:17:06.080 --> 0:17:09.479 hard to leave when you know, the weather's nice all 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:12.840 year round and people are nice, and but it's kind 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:16.560 of ridiculous in terms of how expensive it is. That's yeah, 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:19.240 I mean I can't. I can't well, I mean I 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:21.400 lived out and lived out in l A. But now 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:26.320 living here in Nashville, Yeah, it's kind of like I 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:28.640 don't know how I could go. I know how I could, 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:30.840 because there's so much to offer in California and there's 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:34.400 so much culture and things you can do, but it's 0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:36.960 the money piece that always stops me too, because I'm like, 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:39.600 how can Like, you know, you can have this, but 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:41.399 then you go there and then you you don't. You 0:17:41.400 --> 0:17:43.960 don't have to chop it into like quarters. But Nashville 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:45.919 is being in the new California. I mean we can 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:48.480 all agree, right because we all come in there. I 0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:53.760 know what I have to be. I'm like, okay, one 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:57.960 more time, phone, come on. UM. A family in Franklin, 0:17:58.119 --> 0:17:59.919 and I was looking at houses and I was like, 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.600 I mean, it's still better than California, but it's ridiculous. 0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:05.000 From when they moved there, they got like a mansion 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:07.600 for like three hundred and now it's like, you know, 0:18:07.680 --> 0:18:10.440 a million. Yeah, good luck finding a three d millar 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:12.560 house anywhere near here. I don't think it. I don't 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:15.080 think it exists anymore. So I was like, all right, 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:19.119 maybe not Frankland right now. Well, we will welcome you 0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:22.199 with open arms. At church the other day, our pastor 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:24.760 we were talking about moving and it's like, you know, 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:27.520 how many people, how many people have, like you know, 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:29.480 have moved to Nashville the last five years, and like 0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:31.880 everyone raises their hands and then they're like, how many 0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:35.640 of you are from California? And they're like oh, they 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:37.399 like I had all had their hands up, and I 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.400 was just like, listen, I was here before, y'all. Okay, 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:41.920 what you have to say that you have to say 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:46.119 that I was before the movement. So we we were 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:49.520 kind of having a conversation. I wanted to, um, bring 0:18:49.560 --> 0:18:51.399 you in on it. So I was I was telling 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:53.439 her that I had met with this one woman, and 0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:58.240 I was telling her how post divorce, I noticed my 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:01.639 anxiety pretty much mess still have moments of anxiety, but 0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:05.080 that it pretty much the big you know, panic attacks, 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:08.520 the mill of the night, that waking up the um 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:11.080 you know, I'm even able to do certain things now 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:15.960 has it isn't there at all anymore? I mean, again, 0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:20.600 there's pieces and moments, right, but um, is there is 0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:23.239 there like a direct correlation with being in when you 0:19:23.320 --> 0:19:25.800 let go of something negative or I mean, what is 0:19:25.840 --> 0:19:28.399 the because I always thought anxiety was just tied to 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:36.680 serotonin levels and with the chemicals in your brain and yeah, help, yes, yeah, 0:19:36.720 --> 0:19:40.280 I mean I'm hearing a few different things that play 0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:44.879 when I hear a specific shift around how our body 0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:47.800 and our mind is holding anxiety. So sometimes we can 0:19:47.840 --> 0:19:51.720 look back and we can see, you know, in hindsight, wow, 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:55.240 it makes sense that my anxiety was heightened in this 0:19:55.320 --> 0:19:59.359 period of time. And so whatever that time is, whether 0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:02.920 it's you know, through a relationship, through a transition, through 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:06.600 a hardship, through a work, you know, experience, whatever that 0:20:06.800 --> 0:20:09.119 is if we can look back and say, wow, my 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:14.240 anxiety was really tired for you know, intrinsically to that situation, 0:20:14.720 --> 0:20:16.800 then we can say, hmm, I wonder if there's a 0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:21.680 relationship with that person, place, or thing that elevated that activated, 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:25.240 that made my anxiety so much more palpable. The other 0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:27.320 part is is what we know about anxiety now, and 0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:29.320 they just actually released the study. I don't know if 0:20:29.320 --> 0:20:33.080 anybody have seen it. Around um serotonin and dopamine and 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:37.560 all the neuro transmitters in our brain might not be 0:20:38.000 --> 0:20:41.280 the full story that we thought it was. With anxiety, 0:20:41.320 --> 0:20:45.520 depression and this other method really a nature versus nurture. 0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:49.280 Some of us, right are just genetically more prone to 0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:54.600 certain mental health struggles, panic, anxiety, depression, addiction, all of 0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:57.960 that we know historically has a stronger tie. But the 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:01.080 other part is there's always going to be an environmental 0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:05.720 part that can activate something that already lies within us. 0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:09.560 So when you're speaking about divorce, we can make sense 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.440 when we can look back and say, wow, that relationship 0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:15.960 activated me, triggered me, it really made me feel so 0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:20.440 many things. Now that there's distance from that, I'm noticing 0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:23.600 a change. And then the next part would be how 0:21:23.600 --> 0:21:26.760 do I continue to nurture that change so that my 0:21:26.760 --> 0:21:32.200 anxiety levels can be at a much more manageable right space, 0:21:32.320 --> 0:21:35.760 so that life can be much more on your terms 0:21:35.920 --> 0:21:41.040 versus what I call anxieties terms. I mean, that only 0:21:41.080 --> 0:21:42.919 makes sense to me. I've always kind you know, that 0:21:42.960 --> 0:21:44.720 seems to be like the new stuff that's coming out, 0:21:44.760 --> 0:21:47.399 But I kind of thought that that's how it worked. 0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:51.919 I guess, yeah, yeah, I think I think part of 0:21:52.000 --> 0:21:55.240 us wants to believe that our mental struggles are fully 0:21:55.240 --> 0:21:57.760 outside of ourselves, right like we were born this way, 0:21:58.080 --> 0:22:00.359 you know, it's outside of our control. We didn't have 0:22:00.440 --> 0:22:03.879 a choice. And again I see it much more as 0:22:03.960 --> 0:22:07.760 some of us are more genetically vulnerable to certain things. 0:22:07.800 --> 0:22:11.240 But the good news is is that any mental health 0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:14.960 conditions such as anxiety, panic, depression, addiction, any of this 0:22:15.720 --> 0:22:18.959 is not a life sentence. And I truly want to 0:22:19.000 --> 0:22:21.960 empower people, especially the people I work with, to understand 0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:25.520 that sometimes when you get this diagnosis, it can be 0:22:25.760 --> 0:22:27.880 relieving for some because there's a name, but it can 0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:32.760 be so overwhelming and scary to think, oh my gosh, 0:22:32.800 --> 0:22:34.679 am I gonna have anxiety for the rest of my life. 0:22:34.880 --> 0:22:36.760 It's just what my whole life is going to look like. 0:22:37.119 --> 0:22:39.320 And I want people to also hear that that that 0:22:39.440 --> 0:22:43.640 isn't how anxiety works. There's never a time that you 0:22:43.800 --> 0:22:47.679 go back to feeling what you did that first panic attack, 0:22:47.920 --> 0:22:51.280 that first depressive episode. I always tell people that that part, 0:22:51.640 --> 0:22:54.359 it's not where you go back to. It's about how 0:22:54.440 --> 0:22:57.280 do you have tools in your toolbox to continue to 0:22:57.400 --> 0:23:01.800 navigate something that it's not just genetic based. How can 0:23:01.920 --> 0:23:05.000 you do your part in the healing journey so that 0:23:05.480 --> 0:23:09.080 none of this has to be a life sentence, but 0:23:09.440 --> 0:23:13.879 really a struggle of transition where you find out new 0:23:14.080 --> 0:23:19.000 different ways to navigate something that does and can become 0:23:19.800 --> 0:23:25.760 sin through time and treatment. So anxiety, is it right? 0:23:25.840 --> 0:23:32.480 Is about like unknown fear, right, Okay, So where where 0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:34.160 my anxiety comes in It is like, oh, I don't 0:23:34.200 --> 0:23:35.760 want to do this because I'm afraid I'm going to 0:23:35.880 --> 0:23:39.320 have a panic attack. M hmm, yeah, that's panic cat 0:23:39.359 --> 0:23:41.800 that is panic attack one oh one. Yeah. So that 0:23:41.960 --> 0:23:44.080 is why I don't do certain things because I'm like, 0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:47.119 I can't do that because what if I have an 0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:50.760 anxiety attack or what happens or and so that's why 0:23:50.880 --> 0:23:54.240 it's frustrating. I would love to change that mindset to 0:23:54.359 --> 0:23:57.080 not say, well, I'm not going to do this because 0:23:57.080 --> 0:23:59.119 I'm afraid I'm gonna have a panic attack or and 0:23:59.160 --> 0:24:01.920 I feel like I've let itself go in certain areas, 0:24:01.960 --> 0:24:04.200 but there are other things that I still feel like 0:24:04.240 --> 0:24:08.640 I hold myself back because I'm more afraid of, like, well, 0:24:08.640 --> 0:24:10.480 what happens if I get a panic attack? Then what? 0:24:11.440 --> 0:24:17.320 M hmmmm? So as a panic attack, um, what do 0:24:17.359 --> 0:24:20.000 I want to call myself survivor warrior? I don't. I 0:24:20.000 --> 0:24:22.120 don't know what term I use. But as someone who 0:24:22.119 --> 0:24:24.719 struggled with pan attacks all of my adolescents in your 0:24:24.760 --> 0:24:28.439 adult life, the one thing my therapist taught me was 0:24:28.560 --> 0:24:36.080 that panic attacks are fueled off of avoidance. So every 0:24:36.119 --> 0:24:40.800 time we avoid, we strengthen that fear around having a 0:24:40.840 --> 0:24:44.040 panic attack. So every time we don't make that phone call, 0:24:44.280 --> 0:24:46.760 we don't take that trip, we don't reach out to 0:24:46.800 --> 0:24:49.760 that person, we don't get on that flight, every time 0:24:49.840 --> 0:24:55.320 we avoid, we strengthen the circular impact of panic attacks. 0:24:55.920 --> 0:24:59.800 And so in our mind, temporary discomfort okay we have, 0:25:00.800 --> 0:25:06.080 but we're training that in for long term dysfunction, because 0:25:06.080 --> 0:25:09.719 now our life becomes smaller and smaller and smaller, because 0:25:10.160 --> 0:25:12.920 we tend to continue to avoid and avoid because it's like, 0:25:12.960 --> 0:25:15.000 oh my gosh, good job, I kept myself safe. I 0:25:15.040 --> 0:25:17.200 didn't have a panic attack. That means I have to 0:25:17.280 --> 0:25:21.160 keep avoiding going on this bridge, getting on that highway, 0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:25.320 getting on you know that helicopter. Whatever our our panic 0:25:25.359 --> 0:25:29.240 attack trigger is right, whether it's emotional, whether it's physical, 0:25:29.600 --> 0:25:31.600 we tell ourselves a good job, I avoided it. I 0:25:31.640 --> 0:25:33.840 didn't have pain attack, So I need to keep avoiding it, 0:25:34.400 --> 0:25:36.400 and then our world gets smaller and smaller and smaller. 0:25:37.480 --> 0:25:40.040 The true trick with panic attacks, and it has to 0:25:40.080 --> 0:25:44.280 be you know, intervals and slow and steady, is that 0:25:44.320 --> 0:25:47.240 you have to find what we call in psychology your 0:25:47.280 --> 0:25:50.720 window of tolerance, which is how much discomfort can I 0:25:50.800 --> 0:25:55.320 tolerate without getting flooded, without being overwhelmed, without having the 0:25:55.359 --> 0:25:58.560 panic attack, So that I can teach myself, I can 0:25:58.600 --> 0:26:03.960 train myself to know that actually can do these really hard, scary, 0:26:04.000 --> 0:26:07.280 difficult things. And it's so much easier said than done. 0:26:07.840 --> 0:26:13.360 But you have to remind yourself that avoidance is absolutely 0:26:13.680 --> 0:26:17.639 the crux of panic attacks, and every time we choose 0:26:17.680 --> 0:26:22.560 not to avoid, we're slowly chipping away at that connection, 0:26:22.600 --> 0:26:26.439 that relationship we've given ourselves between the panic attack and 0:26:26.480 --> 0:26:28.679 the thing that we think will activate or trigger it. 0:26:29.800 --> 0:26:34.280 Mm hmm. It's interesting and and it makes total sense. 0:26:34.400 --> 0:26:36.240 And also a part of me is like, you know, 0:26:36.280 --> 0:26:39.800 I had a girlfriend, uh do a road trip with 0:26:39.800 --> 0:26:42.080 her kids from Florida to Michigan and on the way 0:26:42.080 --> 0:26:44.640 back Michigan and Florida, and yesterday she stopped on her 0:26:44.640 --> 0:26:47.560 way back, and I'm just like, man, I could never 0:26:47.600 --> 0:26:53.000 do that. Yes, yeah, because what I can barely drive 0:26:53.000 --> 0:26:54.919 in the expressway. I send my girlfriends like a you know, 0:26:54.960 --> 0:26:57.119 a joke text mess and like go, guys, look at 0:26:57.160 --> 0:26:59.040 them on the expressway, Like because you know, I go. 0:26:59.240 --> 0:27:02.760 I only go my comfort bubble of where I drive 0:27:02.760 --> 0:27:05.679 on the expressway because if I get trapped on an expressway, 0:27:05.760 --> 0:27:08.639 I will pass out in my car. There is no 0:27:08.880 --> 0:27:11.480 like I will have I will have a helicopter come 0:27:11.560 --> 0:27:14.040 air lift me out of my car. Like that is 0:27:14.119 --> 0:27:17.479 how bad being trapped is for me. Is like PTSD trauma. 0:27:18.560 --> 0:27:22.080 So like I just avoid it at all costs. Now, 0:27:22.080 --> 0:27:24.120 when I know that there's not gonna be traffic time, yeah, 0:27:24.119 --> 0:27:26.280 I'll hop on for like a few exits just to 0:27:26.280 --> 0:27:29.000 be like I got this, I got this, like I'm driving, 0:27:29.440 --> 0:27:33.920 but then, you know, is that okay to just to go? 0:27:34.160 --> 0:27:35.480 You know what, I'm just not one of those people 0:27:35.480 --> 0:27:37.399 that are gonna be able to across country trip. And 0:27:37.440 --> 0:27:41.600 I don't really have to prove anything to myself, no, 0:27:42.000 --> 0:27:43.880 And I think all of us has to check in 0:27:43.960 --> 0:27:47.439 with what would be meaningful for you, right, which is 0:27:47.440 --> 0:27:51.359 different than what's meaningful for me. So much of our anxiety, though, 0:27:51.520 --> 0:27:55.399 does attack things that matter to us, right. And so 0:27:55.600 --> 0:27:58.399 if for you it matters to be able to you know, 0:27:58.480 --> 0:27:59.919 get in the car with your kids and be like, 0:28:00.160 --> 0:28:03.680 we're going to Disney World, right, Like, if that matters 0:28:03.720 --> 0:28:07.160 to you, right, then I would say, huh, I want 0:28:07.160 --> 0:28:09.520 to do around that? How would we want to make 0:28:10.000 --> 0:28:14.119 small incremental shifts towards that goal? If for you, you're like, 0:28:14.760 --> 0:28:17.359 you know, I want to work on this, but I 0:28:17.400 --> 0:28:19.280 don't need to feel like I'm going to California in 0:28:19.320 --> 0:28:23.919 New York right asking ourselves when anxieties in the picture, 0:28:24.440 --> 0:28:27.280 does this mean something to me? Does this matter to me? 0:28:27.680 --> 0:28:31.800 Because there's a difference between avoiding something because it's not 0:28:31.880 --> 0:28:36.960 important and avoiding something because it makes us so incredibly uncomfortable. 0:28:38.960 --> 0:28:40.880 Is there anything that you avoid? I know you don't 0:28:40.880 --> 0:28:45.360 really is is everything you are saying is applying to me, 0:28:45.440 --> 0:28:49.000 but not with anxiety and panic attacks, just with being 0:28:49.080 --> 0:28:52.480 vulnerable Like that Literally everything she's saying I was, And 0:28:52.760 --> 0:28:54.960 I literally have dealt with the situation all week. That 0:28:55.120 --> 0:28:58.400 is that, And it's like I want to avoid. I 0:28:58.440 --> 0:29:01.280 want to avoid, and then tried to address it head 0:29:01.320 --> 0:29:03.280 on and then I just kind of leashed. My emotions 0:29:03.280 --> 0:29:06.280 were all over the place. But I got to a 0:29:06.320 --> 0:29:09.640 point where it's like I can't keep avoiding being vulnerable 0:29:09.720 --> 0:29:12.040 and talking about how I feel because I have to 0:29:12.040 --> 0:29:14.040 be able to move forward. But it's just interesting because 0:29:14.040 --> 0:29:16.960 it just applies the same I feel like, right, but 0:29:17.280 --> 0:29:21.200 that's not really diety. But but avoidance in general keeps 0:29:21.280 --> 0:29:23.680 us right. Like you said, I want to avoid because 0:29:23.720 --> 0:29:26.960 I don't want to tolerate this discomfort. But then you 0:29:26.960 --> 0:29:29.400 have to ask yourself, but what am I treating in 0:29:29.440 --> 0:29:34.040 that for? Yeah, And it's usually a longer term discomfort 0:29:34.200 --> 0:29:37.640 or dysfunction where we teach ourselves to be quiet, we 0:29:37.680 --> 0:29:40.360 teach ourselves not to speak our truth, We teach ourselves that, 0:29:40.720 --> 0:29:45.200 you know, what we'd rather just keep the peace, and 0:29:45.280 --> 0:29:46.800 we have to check in with ourselves and like, well, 0:29:46.840 --> 0:29:50.600 but our inner peace, when did that stop mattering? Right? 0:29:50.640 --> 0:29:53.280 And it does. We We are taught just decidally that, 0:29:53.440 --> 0:29:55.760 you know, just be quiet, go with the flow, don't 0:29:55.800 --> 0:29:59.880 say much um and and I think that anybody who 0:30:00.080 --> 0:30:03.640 questions that is is already a few steps ahead where 0:30:03.680 --> 0:30:05.840 you're like, ah, this doesn't feel good not to speak 0:30:05.880 --> 0:30:08.360 on this or say something about this, but I know 0:30:08.440 --> 0:30:11.640 I'm not supposed to technically, or maybe I shouldn't. And 0:30:11.720 --> 0:30:16.360 still choosing to say something within your comfort level is important. 0:30:16.440 --> 0:30:18.680 Is how we slowly and again, all of this is 0:30:18.680 --> 0:30:25.240 about taking incremental steps towards, you know, getting getting outside 0:30:25.240 --> 0:30:28.720 of our comfort zone. And I actually dislike the saying 0:30:28.760 --> 0:30:32.040 like everything good is outside your comfort zone, because I 0:30:32.080 --> 0:30:35.239 think that actually everything good is when we stretch our 0:30:35.280 --> 0:30:38.760 comfort zone. Right. We don't throw somebody in the deep 0:30:38.840 --> 0:30:41.840 end when they can't swim just because they're uncomfortable with it. No, 0:30:42.160 --> 0:30:44.160 we teach them how to get a little further and 0:30:44.200 --> 0:30:46.920 a little further and a little further until they feel 0:30:46.960 --> 0:30:49.560 comfortable enough to learn to the deep end. And that's 0:30:49.560 --> 0:30:52.520 how our comfort zones grow. Every time we choose to 0:30:52.720 --> 0:30:56.960 stretch it, we get stronger, we become more resilient. And 0:30:57.040 --> 0:30:59.240 so I think that, like you said, it applies to 0:30:59.280 --> 0:31:02.880 all things, not just our mental health struggles. Yeah, and 0:31:02.920 --> 0:31:08.120 it's in a way, it's just getting unstuck from you know, 0:31:08.280 --> 0:31:12.920 uncomfortablelitty or anxiety or depression or just like you're keeping 0:31:12.960 --> 0:31:17.000 yourself ultimately stuck. So how do you unstick yourself from it? 0:31:17.680 --> 0:31:20.040 And it does it gets to be a dysfunction for sure, 0:31:20.400 --> 0:31:21.920 you know you say that, it's like you look and 0:31:21.920 --> 0:31:23.640 it's like, man, I'm thirty eight years old and I've 0:31:23.640 --> 0:31:25.880 been doing this for how long. It's like now I 0:31:25.880 --> 0:31:27.640 got to start over and figure out how to do 0:31:27.680 --> 0:31:34.000 this differently because I got myself right. Hey, here we are. 0:31:35.080 --> 0:31:40.440 How did you feel though being vulnerable? Obviously we're not 0:31:40.440 --> 0:31:42.960 going to talk about what the situation, but like, but 0:31:43.040 --> 0:31:46.280 like I'm just curious because you you do, you know, 0:31:46.400 --> 0:31:50.000 struggle with being vulnerable in that area, and so I'm 0:31:50.000 --> 0:31:53.080 just curious how that. The interesting thing is is like 0:31:53.640 --> 0:31:55.680 I will go have a conversation, like I will come 0:31:55.720 --> 0:31:57.400 at you like I'm an eight and I'm going to like, 0:31:57.480 --> 0:32:02.240 let you know, but it's vulnerable though no, but the vulnerable. 0:32:02.480 --> 0:32:04.840 So it's like, so what I struggled with with this 0:32:04.880 --> 0:32:07.800 certain sick situation is I wanted to be mad. I 0:32:07.880 --> 0:32:09.440 was hurt. I wanted to be mad, and I wanted 0:32:09.480 --> 0:32:12.320 to attack. But then I had to kind of peel 0:32:12.360 --> 0:32:15.800 that back and sit down and have a conversation and 0:32:15.840 --> 0:32:19.640 like live in those emotions and apologize for it. But 0:32:19.720 --> 0:32:24.760 I mean, I have never felt that much growth ever 0:32:25.480 --> 0:32:29.360 in thirty eight years, you ever, And how like, how 0:32:29.360 --> 0:32:34.360 did that feel? Proud? Think I was emotional roller coasters? 0:32:35.320 --> 0:32:38.160 It was like I feel not to say like nothing 0:32:38.160 --> 0:32:40.440 bad about bipolar, but I felt very bipolar. It was 0:32:40.480 --> 0:32:42.240 just like one minute I felt this and women and 0:32:42.280 --> 0:32:43.840 I felt this, and I was just like I've never 0:32:43.880 --> 0:32:48.640 dealt with these kinds of emotions. It was beyond crazy. 0:32:49.080 --> 0:32:50.920 I mean, I'm still I can feel it's still a 0:32:50.920 --> 0:32:53.640 training though, you know, because I'll still find myself being like, 0:32:53.640 --> 0:32:55.880 oh but that's still kind of okay, bring it back 0:32:56.160 --> 0:32:58.800 like wow, does this mean you know, oh that's a 0:32:58.880 --> 0:33:03.760 lot yep, Like but but like you're even showing emotion now, 0:33:03.960 --> 0:33:06.560 you know, And it's like I just I mean, not 0:33:06.640 --> 0:33:08.560 to give too much information and not to go onto 0:33:08.600 --> 0:33:11.120 my stuff, but like, I just came out of a 0:33:11.160 --> 0:33:15.920 fifteen year marriage and part of this whole thing ended 0:33:16.000 --> 0:33:18.840 in the night of having a conversation with my ex 0:33:18.920 --> 0:33:21.960 husband and he literally looked at me and he was like, 0:33:22.880 --> 0:33:27.080 I have never seen this, you know, I mean like 0:33:27.160 --> 0:33:29.720 he just in like I think he needed it, you know, 0:33:29.760 --> 0:33:31.520 I think he needed to see it. I needed to 0:33:31.560 --> 0:33:33.200 feel it. I needed to see it. And it was 0:33:33.240 --> 0:33:35.160 just it was just such a moment. I was like, 0:33:35.280 --> 0:33:38.320 nobody's seeing this from me, you know, it's kind of crazy, 0:33:38.560 --> 0:33:40.640 but I'm so proud of you because that is that's 0:33:40.680 --> 0:33:43.840 the growth that you know, you talked about with you know, 0:33:43.880 --> 0:33:46.120 our therapist Amy, where it's like this is this is 0:33:46.160 --> 0:33:49.600 the work to to not repeat the patterns, like it's 0:33:49.640 --> 0:33:51.040 weird exactly asked. I was like, but how do I 0:33:51.080 --> 0:33:52.719 do this? Like how do I change? How do I 0:33:52.800 --> 0:33:56.040 And it's just kind of like it's happening this situation. 0:33:57.320 --> 0:33:59.640 I don't necessarily wish the situation would happen, but now 0:33:59.680 --> 0:34:02.760 I'm why it happened, you know, And now you get 0:34:02.800 --> 0:34:06.840 to see how like it does happen with your growth 0:34:06.880 --> 0:34:08.600 and like how does it change? Well, you just have 0:34:08.719 --> 0:34:14.520 to sink into the thens, the uncomfortableness, is it. Yeah, 0:34:14.640 --> 0:34:17.759 they discomfort yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to stay in 0:34:17.800 --> 0:34:21.839 the stock is what we say, for a minute or two, right, 0:34:22.080 --> 0:34:25.720 and and really feel what is calling to be felt. 0:34:26.040 --> 0:34:28.520 And that's what I hear from your stories that you 0:34:28.560 --> 0:34:32.400 allowed yourself maybe to feel things that surprised you, surprised 0:34:32.800 --> 0:34:35.879 an observer, you know, that had a front seat for 0:34:36.280 --> 0:34:41.160 you know, fifteen years and and whenever those um opportunities 0:34:41.160 --> 0:34:44.239 for growth happen, they're not they're not necessarily fun, they're 0:34:44.280 --> 0:34:47.279 not enjoyable. Um. But you get to look back and 0:34:47.320 --> 0:34:49.480 you know, you get to say, like, huh, I wonder 0:34:49.680 --> 0:34:54.719 I wonder what I'm trying two tap into that was 0:34:54.800 --> 0:35:13.120 ready finally to be expressed. Yeah. Absolutely, And I think 0:35:13.120 --> 0:35:16.320 to like, you're wanting to do things differently. Again, we 0:35:16.560 --> 0:35:18.759 don't know how right certain times, but that was a 0:35:20.400 --> 0:35:22.399 that was something that you get to go run into 0:35:22.400 --> 0:35:25.640 now and tell Amy like I did. Isn't it to 0:35:25.920 --> 0:35:28.080 tell her we have the same therapist to go back. 0:35:28.480 --> 0:35:30.799 I'm like, there's so many moments in my I was 0:35:31.000 --> 0:35:33.120 dealing with something that I shared last week on the podcast, 0:35:33.120 --> 0:35:35.600 but I was like, Okay, my friend's like, well, can 0:35:35.600 --> 0:35:36.799 you just kind of lie and say you don't want 0:35:36.800 --> 0:35:38.200 to come over because you don't feel good. I'm like, no, 0:35:38.280 --> 0:35:40.319 I have to do this differently, Like I have to 0:35:40.440 --> 0:35:42.799 like I have to speak my truth and like set 0:35:42.840 --> 0:35:45.640 up boundaries and like and and and I want to 0:35:45.680 --> 0:35:49.760 go run to Amy and tell her I did it right. Star. 0:35:50.080 --> 0:35:52.200 I want a gold star for my therapist. We all do, 0:35:52.440 --> 0:35:56.480 We all do. Yeah, yeah, that's so funny. I totally 0:35:56.520 --> 0:36:00.720 want a gold star always. But I'm still her favorite. 0:36:01.040 --> 0:36:04.319 We also want to be everyone's favorite. It's funny. Whenever 0:36:04.400 --> 0:36:06.759 we do telehealth, I'll put on there, I'm like your 0:36:06.760 --> 0:36:09.279 favorite client, Like I don't put my name just like 0:36:09.360 --> 0:36:15.719 your favorite client. She hates me, she does. Um, I'm 0:36:15.760 --> 0:36:18.759 curious to what you've seen. You know, we both have 0:36:18.880 --> 0:36:22.839 young kids, and do you have kids as well? What 0:36:22.880 --> 0:36:30.960 are your ages? Six? Two in nine months? Oh? Why 0:36:31.000 --> 0:36:36.680 do you think I'm outside? Got it? Okay? Well, so 0:36:36.760 --> 0:36:39.400 I've got a six and um she's got three that 0:36:39.440 --> 0:36:43.879 are always ten, sixteen, ten and six and minor six 0:36:43.920 --> 0:36:48.279 and three. And you know, what do you think is 0:36:48.880 --> 0:36:52.440 for their generation going to be the thing that we 0:36:52.520 --> 0:36:55.000 have to watch with them? Is it? Is it more depression. 0:36:55.040 --> 0:36:56.960 Is it more anxiety? Is it more? And like what 0:36:57.000 --> 0:36:59.839 are the leading is it? Is it social media? Is it? Like? 0:37:00.040 --> 0:37:01.960 What is it so that I can not I don't 0:37:02.000 --> 0:37:04.000 want to put bubble wrap around him, right, but I 0:37:04.040 --> 0:37:07.000 also want to be aware of things that like that 0:37:07.120 --> 0:37:10.040 you might see that from people coming in or that 0:37:10.120 --> 0:37:13.440 you talked to that's like this is or and you know, 0:37:13.520 --> 0:37:16.040 as divorced single moms, like what's something that you know? 0:37:16.440 --> 0:37:18.440 So I know there's like the million questions thrown at you, 0:37:18.520 --> 0:37:23.200 but just because because I I have made mistakes where 0:37:23.840 --> 0:37:25.719 I said something, oh my God to my daughter the 0:37:25.760 --> 0:37:28.480 other day and I had just had I was at 0:37:28.520 --> 0:37:31.359 my wits end and I ended up going and apologizing 0:37:31.360 --> 0:37:35.240 to her. But she's just challenging me every freaking second. 0:37:35.239 --> 0:37:37.880 It's like, you know this, let's just like why mommy, 0:37:38.000 --> 0:37:40.360 or like just or whining. I'm like, Jolie, can you 0:37:40.400 --> 0:37:43.960 just say yes mommy? Or just like And I try 0:37:44.000 --> 0:37:46.239 a few times to just be and then by the 0:37:46.360 --> 0:37:48.120 fourth time she's like, well I don't want anyone. I'm like, 0:37:48.160 --> 0:37:52.520 I don't care, you know, And I go, I don't care, 0:37:53.000 --> 0:37:57.160 and Jace goes, I don't care, and I was like 0:37:57.600 --> 0:38:01.600 and I just started crying. Media immediately started like bawling, 0:38:01.640 --> 0:38:03.359 and I was just like, I am the worst mother, 0:38:03.440 --> 0:38:05.960 and but the keep goes. I'm like, now we're all yelling, 0:38:06.400 --> 0:38:10.319 and now my child everyone's crying, said the efford. Do 0:38:10.360 --> 0:38:14.680 not feel alone. We have all been there. You're lying. 0:38:15.440 --> 0:38:17.319 And I was like, and I've failed. So I'm like, 0:38:17.480 --> 0:38:19.520 is this gonna like, is she gonna now be depressed 0:38:19.560 --> 0:38:22.279 because I'm just like screaming at her? Or again I don't. 0:38:22.320 --> 0:38:25.000 I wasn't screaming, but I was. I definitely was like yelling, 0:38:25.560 --> 0:38:27.680 and I don't I don't like to yell. I don't 0:38:27.719 --> 0:38:29.440 like to get to that place. It doesn't feel good. 0:38:29.480 --> 0:38:31.080 I don't like when we're all yelling at each other. 0:38:32.040 --> 0:38:35.839 But anyways, there's a million questions, answer whichever ones you want. 0:38:37.000 --> 0:38:41.759 I'll start with the last one about it's all about 0:38:41.840 --> 0:38:48.480 the repair. It's all about the repair. We are human, 0:38:49.000 --> 0:38:52.239 whether we mess up in our home, outside our home, 0:38:52.400 --> 0:38:56.280 on a public stage, in private, we're all human. And 0:38:57.400 --> 0:39:00.279 when we choose to repair, when we choose to umber 0:39:00.280 --> 0:39:03.719 ourselves and go to somebody and say, wow, I am 0:39:03.800 --> 0:39:06.319 so sorry, I was in the wrong. I messed up, 0:39:06.880 --> 0:39:08.719 we still live in the society that somehow thinks we 0:39:08.760 --> 0:39:12.120 shouldn't do that with children, and it bugs me because 0:39:12.239 --> 0:39:16.840 you absolutely should apologize. I mean I think I do 0:39:16.920 --> 0:39:19.400 it daily, so I might be on the other extreme, 0:39:19.480 --> 0:39:24.400 but we should absolutely apologize to our children because they 0:39:24.640 --> 0:39:28.880 are seeing that we can get it on our knees, 0:39:29.000 --> 0:39:30.759 look them in the eyes and say, you know what, 0:39:31.960 --> 0:39:34.960 Mommy messed up right now. I should not have yelled. 0:39:35.440 --> 0:39:39.160 It actually had nothing to do with you. What happens 0:39:39.200 --> 0:39:42.360 then when it actually does, then you get to say. 0:39:42.400 --> 0:39:44.160 Then you get to correct and say, you know what, 0:39:44.960 --> 0:39:49.000 mommy lost her patients and that was wrong because even 0:39:49.000 --> 0:39:53.239 if it didn't have to deal with her, yeah, because yeah, 0:39:53.280 --> 0:39:55.480 I sat down with her and I laid with her 0:39:55.480 --> 0:39:56.919 in bed that night, and I was like, baby, girld, 0:39:56.920 --> 0:39:59.640 Mommy is really sorry. I yelled. It's just very frustrating 0:39:59.640 --> 0:40:02.560 when you do listen. But I'm so sorry, I yelled, 0:40:02.600 --> 0:40:04.799 and like, can we both try again tomorrow? Like you 0:40:04.880 --> 0:40:07.719 listen and I'll be more patient and m m m m. 0:40:08.400 --> 0:40:11.440 And then the repair is a commitment for us not 0:40:11.520 --> 0:40:14.279 to repeat. So there's a stame in psychology. We either 0:40:14.360 --> 0:40:18.080 repeat or we repair, and that really means are we 0:40:18.120 --> 0:40:22.319 willing to look at something right and repair it, or 0:40:22.360 --> 0:40:26.080 are we then not looking at it? And please believe, 0:40:26.120 --> 0:40:30.000 we will repeat it. So if we're looking at somebody 0:40:30.040 --> 0:40:33.040 and saying, hey, I'm really sorry, I that that was 0:40:33.280 --> 0:40:34.840 you know, I was trying to speak to you. I 0:40:34.840 --> 0:40:38.400 really needed you to you know, get the lunch um. 0:40:38.400 --> 0:40:40.480 But it never is okay for me to yell, and 0:40:40.480 --> 0:40:44.480 and that's something I need to work on. So today 0:40:44.640 --> 0:40:46.239 I'm going to take him time and I'm going to 0:40:46.320 --> 0:40:49.480 reflect on how I can work on my patients. And 0:40:49.520 --> 0:40:52.560 I would love it if you could join me. You know, 0:40:53.080 --> 0:40:55.960 if you see me getting frustrated, to also give me 0:40:56.040 --> 0:41:00.000 some grace because I'm learning to and really allow people 0:41:00.040 --> 0:41:02.680 will to know that we're gonna stumble in this journey, 0:41:02.760 --> 0:41:05.160 but we do want to repair. We don't want to repeat. 0:41:05.200 --> 0:41:07.120 We don't want to keep saying the same sorry to 0:41:07.160 --> 0:41:10.880 our kids, to our spouse, to our friends because they stopped. 0:41:11.120 --> 0:41:14.160 Then it loses me, right, you lie to your friends 0:41:14.160 --> 0:41:16.080 and then you're like, sorry, I lied again. What's I'm 0:41:16.080 --> 0:41:19.040 working on it? Sorry light again, What's I'm working on it? All? Right? 0:41:19.080 --> 0:41:22.840 She just likes the live, okay, But if somebody like 0:41:22.880 --> 0:41:25.000 our child comes in, they're like, wow, Like my mom 0:41:25.040 --> 0:41:27.040 says she wants to work on our yelling, and then 0:41:27.200 --> 0:41:29.680 maybe not tomorrow, but you know, six months on the line, 0:41:29.719 --> 0:41:34.040 I don't know it's yelling right that will impact them 0:41:34.160 --> 0:41:37.000 because they're gonna see a changed behavior, They're gonna see 0:41:37.000 --> 0:41:40.200 a repair. And that's a gift we get to give 0:41:40.239 --> 0:41:43.880 our our children that we're growing with them. And please believe, 0:41:43.920 --> 0:41:47.799 our children will activate our own traumas. They activate all 0:41:47.800 --> 0:41:50.760 of our traumas. Nobody tells you that when you're glowing 0:41:50.880 --> 0:41:52.719 and you get your pregnant bump and you're like, I 0:41:52.760 --> 0:41:54.560 can't wait to be a mommy. No one's like, hey, 0:41:54.560 --> 0:41:57.439 guess what, all your traumas that you haven't seen yet, 0:41:57.640 --> 0:41:59.960 they're about to come to the surface in the next 0:42:00.080 --> 0:42:04.080 ten years because they will activate our traumas, our own 0:42:04.120 --> 0:42:06.640 traumas from childhood, the way we were raised, the way 0:42:06.680 --> 0:42:10.279 we were spoken to, our relationship with their parents are siblings. 0:42:10.680 --> 0:42:13.160 I mean, it comes full with circle. So we have 0:42:13.320 --> 0:42:15.360 to be willing to apologize and we have to be 0:42:15.400 --> 0:42:19.759 willing to do our own work so that we don't repeat. Yeah. 0:42:20.120 --> 0:42:21.920 At on site, that was the biggest thing. They were 0:42:21.920 --> 0:42:23.600 like it's not about the rip, it's about the repair. 0:42:24.320 --> 0:42:27.040 And like I just I always loved that quote so much. 0:42:27.120 --> 0:42:29.239 But yeah, that means we're gonna say something. Well. I 0:42:29.280 --> 0:42:31.279 was literally just reading a book that was just talking 0:42:31.320 --> 0:42:35.240 about that about how kids activate your you know you're past, 0:42:35.320 --> 0:42:39.319 and I'm just like, no, kidding, like not that what 0:42:39.360 --> 0:42:41.960 this is? You know? I think it's that too. And 0:42:42.000 --> 0:42:45.880 also sometimes when I am in conflict with other people, 0:42:46.040 --> 0:42:48.600 I go, what is it about myself that I don't 0:42:49.280 --> 0:42:51.359 what is? What is There's something in me that like? 0:42:51.760 --> 0:42:54.120 Is that? That's why I don't like that? Like so 0:42:54.200 --> 0:42:56.120 my mom, when I get angry, it's because a piece 0:42:56.160 --> 0:42:57.480 of me of what I do that I don't like. 0:42:58.440 --> 0:43:00.239 So it's like I almost see like the reflect shin 0:43:01.040 --> 0:43:09.720 mm hmmm something too. That's as interesting the first time, 0:43:09.800 --> 0:43:14.799 I'm like, oh gosh, all right, now on to the 0:43:14.840 --> 0:43:20.759 other depression was yes, with our children and depression anxiety trauma. 0:43:21.360 --> 0:43:23.520 There's so many different lens that we can choose to 0:43:23.560 --> 0:43:25.480 view this, and so I always want to kind of 0:43:25.600 --> 0:43:30.960 caveat that because are there more rates of depression anxiety now? Absolutely? 0:43:31.000 --> 0:43:35.799 It's skyrockets. We're now seeing it everywhere with everyone did 0:43:35.840 --> 0:43:39.600 that always exist? Potentially, but we weren't talking about it, 0:43:40.000 --> 0:43:41.719 So we have to really think about it. Is it 0:43:41.880 --> 0:43:45.239 that these cases have increased? Right? And to some degree, yes, 0:43:45.400 --> 0:43:48.959 COVID pandemic all that. Absolutely, we can just clearly see 0:43:48.960 --> 0:43:51.799 the difference. But even before that, I asked myself, well, 0:43:51.840 --> 0:43:53.840 maybe this stuff was always there and we just weren't 0:43:53.880 --> 0:43:57.239 talking about it and it was underreported and it was normalized. 0:43:57.680 --> 0:43:59.680 I mean, they knew what a narcissist was a year ago, 0:43:59.800 --> 0:44:02.880 so right, But that's what I mean though. It's like, 0:44:02.920 --> 0:44:05.960 I think these things have always existed and we just 0:44:06.560 --> 0:44:09.120 told people to be quiet about it and we shame 0:44:09.200 --> 0:44:11.239 them if they spoke about it, or you know, back 0:44:11.239 --> 0:44:15.600 in the day we send people away to treatment or right, like, 0:44:16.040 --> 0:44:18.839 I imagine these things have always existed. So sometimes as 0:44:18.840 --> 0:44:20.560 a parent you can be scary because you're reading the 0:44:20.640 --> 0:44:23.359 data from the CDC and is saying how many you know, 0:44:23.520 --> 0:44:27.280 hundreds and thousands of kids have depression, anxiety, eating disorders, trauma, 0:44:27.600 --> 0:44:30.440 And yes, that exists, But I also want to say 0:44:30.520 --> 0:44:33.520 that I think it's always existed. We just didn't have 0:44:33.600 --> 0:44:36.279 the language, the word, the words, or the opportunity to 0:44:36.280 --> 0:44:39.080 really speak to it, and I am thankful because at 0:44:39.120 --> 0:44:43.640 least now present day, we at least know, hey, these 0:44:43.640 --> 0:44:45.759 are the signs of depression, these are the signs of 0:44:46.800 --> 0:44:49.080 these are the signs of eating disorders, and we know 0:44:49.560 --> 0:44:52.560 that there's treatment out there that can support it, versus 0:44:52.560 --> 0:44:57.080 people living their whole lives in silence, shame or struggle 0:44:57.600 --> 0:45:02.600 and nobody doing something about it. Yeah, definitely, I mean 0:45:02.760 --> 0:45:06.080 it's you. It's just so much more normalized now. I mean, 0:45:06.120 --> 0:45:09.640 even just to go to a therapist, like I would 0:45:10.000 --> 0:45:14.200 not have grown up like asking to go to a therapist. Ever, 0:45:15.000 --> 0:45:17.920 It's just so much more normalized now. I loved my counselor. 0:45:19.440 --> 0:45:23.319 But would you have told people? Uh, because people just 0:45:23.320 --> 0:45:25.640 didn't really do it as much and people didn't talk 0:45:25.640 --> 0:45:28.480 about it. That's very true. Yeah, that's where you're kind 0:45:28.520 --> 0:45:31.040 of just do it and quiet and good for you 0:45:31.080 --> 0:45:33.840 for doing it. But I wouldn't have you know. But 0:45:33.960 --> 0:45:35.560 that's what I mean now I have you know, I 0:45:35.600 --> 0:45:37.399 work a lot with teams and yang adults are coming 0:45:37.440 --> 0:45:40.160 in their texting their best friend, help call you back 0:45:40.200 --> 0:45:43.200 at my therapist, right, like you know, been calling them 0:45:43.239 --> 0:45:45.239 after Like all right, So today we talked about this 0:45:45.360 --> 0:45:48.520 and I'm like laughing because I'm like, Wow, what a 0:45:48.560 --> 0:45:52.440 beautiful freedom to be able to just speak that to 0:45:52.560 --> 0:45:55.880 somebody when that wasn't gifted to you know, you and 0:45:55.960 --> 0:45:58.680 me at that age, and and it gives me hope. 0:45:58.680 --> 0:46:03.280 It gives me hope that we can continue to normalize therapy, 0:46:03.360 --> 0:46:07.280 we can continue to normalize and even prioritize our mental 0:46:07.320 --> 0:46:10.640 wellness because at the end of the day, mental health 0:46:10.760 --> 0:46:13.680 is health. Mental health is physical health. There is nothing 0:46:13.880 --> 0:46:17.560 in our lives if we are not mentally well. And 0:46:17.760 --> 0:46:20.319 we still have a long way to go, but hey, 0:46:20.480 --> 0:46:23.360 we're starting somewhere. I love it. Where can our listeners 0:46:23.360 --> 0:46:27.640 find you? Because you are awesome? Well thank Um. I'm 0:46:27.760 --> 0:46:33.680 on Instagram, UM at Dr Christina um underscore something, you know. 0:46:34.680 --> 0:46:38.560 I'm on Instagram. And then I also have a mental 0:46:38.560 --> 0:46:42.000 health action campaign that's been out there for about three 0:46:42.080 --> 0:46:46.319 years UM called hashtag therapy is cool, speaking of therapy, 0:46:46.480 --> 0:46:49.840 and it's awesome. It provides you know, resources for people 0:46:50.080 --> 0:46:52.920 to get access to therapy. It's got shirre, it's got totes, 0:46:53.000 --> 0:46:55.440 and um, it's been really cool to see people all 0:46:55.440 --> 0:46:57.680 over the world, you know, out in these you know 0:46:57.840 --> 0:47:01.880 monamental you know places it's a word on them that 0:47:01.960 --> 0:47:05.239 lets people know it's okay to to seek help, it's 0:47:05.239 --> 0:47:08.560 okay to support yourself, it's okay to reach out because 0:47:08.600 --> 0:47:11.759 none of us are in it alone. Yeah, amen to that. Well, 0:47:11.760 --> 0:47:13.680 thank you so much for coming on. We really appreciate. 0:47:14.040 --> 0:47:20.680 I might have to come see you san Fran. Yeah 0:47:21.160 --> 0:47:23.520 all right, thanks for having me. All right, thanks girl, 0:47:23.600 --> 0:47:27.680 thank you. Good byeye. Who knows if I'll ever be 0:47:27.680 --> 0:47:29.880 back to San Fran, but if I do, I have 0:47:29.880 --> 0:47:33.200 a nice little session, I will damn her and be like, Hi, 0:47:33.400 --> 0:47:37.799 she's great. Love love her, love her energy too. And 0:47:37.880 --> 0:47:40.680 it's also just like, I don't know, it's all applicable, 0:47:40.760 --> 0:47:46.080 it's all good. Like what're you thinking over there? I'm 0:47:46.200 --> 0:47:50.880 still kind of on Atlanta, but it's a little on 0:47:50.920 --> 0:47:52.759 my chest. I'm gonna have to go back to my 0:47:52.840 --> 0:47:58.240 hypnotisk hypnotipnotism. Um question. So when she answered your question 0:47:58.480 --> 0:48:02.840 about um the road trip part of it, did that 0:48:03.280 --> 0:48:05.160 is that something that's important to you that you would 0:48:05.160 --> 0:48:11.440 want to try and push or is it not good question? Um? 0:48:11.600 --> 0:48:15.280 So I thought about that, and I love road trips. 0:48:16.080 --> 0:48:20.000 I love road trips, and I actually like driving. I 0:48:20.040 --> 0:48:24.880 just don't like driving out of my comfort zone. Um, 0:48:25.040 --> 0:48:27.640 here's here's here's the answer. It's not that it's important 0:48:27.680 --> 0:48:30.080 to me. It's I don't like to have anything to 0:48:30.120 --> 0:48:33.680 hold me back, right, That's what I don't like is 0:48:33.840 --> 0:48:37.120 knowing that I have something that would hold me back 0:48:37.160 --> 0:48:40.920 from doing something at all. In general. Sure, like I 0:48:40.920 --> 0:48:42.680 don't want to jump out of a plane because I'm 0:48:42.719 --> 0:48:44.680 scared that all of the panic attack, but it would 0:48:45.040 --> 0:48:48.239 How cool would that be? I'm holding myself back from 0:48:48.280 --> 0:48:52.480 certain things that could be an experience looking at it, 0:48:52.520 --> 0:48:56.120 like what is important for you that gives you anxiety 0:48:56.200 --> 0:48:58.799 that you could start pushing yourself and then maybe that 0:48:58.880 --> 0:49:01.319 helps you push you out of your comfort zone kind 0:49:01.320 --> 0:49:03.799 of in general. I just thought I was just thinking. 0:49:03.800 --> 0:49:05.600 When she asked that, I was like, that's a good question, 0:49:05.640 --> 0:49:08.120 you know, because if it's not important to you, I 0:49:08.120 --> 0:49:10.279 can see where it's like, okay, like maybe I'll try 0:49:10.320 --> 0:49:12.920 and work on it, but it's not worth like you know, yeah, 0:49:12.920 --> 0:49:14.719 I know it's a good question, and I'll have to 0:49:14.719 --> 0:49:16.120 I think I have to write down a list of 0:49:16.160 --> 0:49:19.920 what is actually sure important that is that I feel 0:49:19.960 --> 0:49:23.200 that's holding me back. Well, like we probably travel before 0:49:23.320 --> 0:49:25.920 right by yourself for that was important to you, and 0:49:26.040 --> 0:49:29.480 you push yourself out of that. You know, that comfort 0:49:29.520 --> 0:49:33.560 zone just interesting, yeah it is, I mean yeah yeah 0:49:33.920 --> 0:49:36.920 yeah yeah yeah. Alright, guys, have a great one and 0:49:37.680 --> 0:49:38.479 see you next week.