1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heard radio podcast. 2 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:10,040 Speaker 1: We just started the show. We were talking and Easton goes, 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: we're talking about people's voice, like sometimes people's voice. I'm 4 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:17,639 Speaker 1: just like, oh no, oh no, I don't like your voice. 5 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,520 Speaker 1: It's hard. Well, and that's like my biggest I hate 6 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: my voice. I hate my voice too. How many people 7 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: hate my voice? Not many at all, but you know, 8 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 1: I mean there's got to be I mean, Easton says 9 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,400 Speaker 1: he hates his voice. I love your voices. Anyone likes 10 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: their voice, Thank you, jan It's very kind of you. 11 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,360 Speaker 1: You know, when I when I first started in a 12 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: radio I was doing talk radio. I got a lot 13 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: of complaints about people who didn't like my voice because 14 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: I didn't sound I was doing news and I didn't 15 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: sound authoritative. They said, interesting, Yeah, I've grown to ignore it. 16 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm not a fan of my voice. But 17 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,160 Speaker 1: anyone actually likes her voice. But I think it's because 18 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: it sounds different than what you hear. Oh for sure. 19 00:00:58,360 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: So I just think that of course they're not going 20 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 1: to I don't know. Sometimes I cringe when I listened 21 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: back to this podcast. Oh it's because I'm like, you 22 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:11,119 Speaker 1: sounded so like a little ultimate way to judge yourself, 23 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 1: because go back and listen to yourself on a podcast. 24 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: I know it's really hard for me to listen, but 25 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,840 Speaker 1: I listened because I remember such a great guest. And 26 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, why do I sound like? Or like why 27 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 1: did I say it like that? Like I'm like like 28 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 1: when no wonder why people like written me? Apart it? 29 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,440 Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm like I sound just and then I'm I'm 30 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: ripping myself apart. I'm like, I'm going to go and 31 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 1: write it right now and myself apart. Two We're literally 32 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 1: just like having a conversation, not thinking and like I'm 33 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: not going to judge you for being stupid or whatever 34 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: you say. Later it's like, oh man, we were just 35 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 1: gonna talk in and now people are like what are 36 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: they talking about? Yeah, that's interesting you say that they 37 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: didn't think you were authoritative? Like what I don't Okay. 38 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:52,960 Speaker 1: There was this one guy I went on a date 39 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: with and he had a very well broadcaster speaking voice, 40 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh no, this isn't gonna work. 41 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: I can't like it's it's everything was like so theatrical 42 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 1: and uh and I'm like, what does that layer look like? 43 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,800 Speaker 1: When that's gone, and there was. I never saw that 44 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: layer and I didn't even give it a second to 45 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: see because it was just too much, too much. I 46 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:26,400 Speaker 1: just can't. Um, you know that was that was a 47 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 1: one and done um. But it's you know, it is 48 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:36,200 Speaker 1: very interesting and again the whole critical just beating ourselves up. 49 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,959 Speaker 1: I went and had this, UM, I actually want to 50 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 1: get her on the show. I got hypnotized yesterday. Have 51 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,840 Speaker 1: you ever done that before? No? Oh my gosh, how 52 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:53,640 Speaker 1: was that? It was amazing? Like it was It's like 53 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 1: this deep, deep, deep meditative state. It's very strang It's 54 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: like but like I have never felt so like I've 55 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: meditated before, but this is like a whole different, like 56 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: layer of meditation. I'm skeptical. Obviously so was I because 57 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,960 Speaker 1: I was just like, honestly, I didn't want to do it. 58 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 1: But then I felt bad because'm like, well, it's like 59 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,399 Speaker 1: I have no excuse, the kids are not being we're 60 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: doing quiet time, you know. I said, yes, so let's 61 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,240 Speaker 1: just let me just do it. And uh, I'm so 62 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,959 Speaker 1: glad I did because she's awesome. I'm actually gonna I 63 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: texted Amy and Danielle are producers right after I was like, 64 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 1: we have to get her on, so we're gonna get 65 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: her on and she's gonna do like this group thing. 66 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 1: So you can be skeptical in that. But no, it 67 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: was just because there's something about meditating, right where how 68 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: do you meditate? M I try? No, Well, like when 69 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 1: you and trust me, I get it. I have. I've 70 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: consistently been the worst meditator in the world. I mean 71 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, what am I doing today? Or what? Yeah, 72 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: but there's these few like three minutes six minute things 73 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: even that what Amy does in the office, Did she 74 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: ever do that with you? I don't think we in 75 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 1: the office. I'm gonna have to have for you. It's great. 76 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 1: She's like, you're not gonna like that, but no, like, 77 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:26,240 Speaker 1: once you really and then you go to your happy place, 78 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: like my calm, peaceful place that I've created in my mind. 79 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: So whenever I get anxious, And this was a really 80 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 1: good anxiety lesson for me when I was at on site. 81 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: This is something that Jackie, my my therapist, did with me, 82 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: and and she it's just I did it for what 83 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,359 Speaker 1: four straight days, and it was so amazing how much 84 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: once I went through the even three or you know, 85 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:50,799 Speaker 1: three minute was like the shortest one in six minutes 86 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 1: was the other one. I I was just like okay, 87 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:58,359 Speaker 1: Like I was like baseline, like I'm good, like nothing really, 88 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,039 Speaker 1: I wasn't like all my like heightened anxiety or stresses 89 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 1: or this. It's just all just like well that's good, 90 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 1: but it's hard to do, Like how do you not 91 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 1: think about anything? I don't see, but you can you 92 00:05:09,839 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: invite it in okay, and you say I'm not right now, 93 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 1: you know, Okay, Yeah, so immediately I get a thought 94 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: and I'm like I wasn't supposed to be thinking. Well 95 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 1: that's the thing saying. I'm like, oh god, now I'm 96 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: like and then now I'm thinking and then like I 97 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,159 Speaker 1: don't remember that part because I thought it's like okay, great, 98 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,359 Speaker 1: but you just you keep just you're training yourself to 99 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: like go back to this balloon floating in the air 100 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: or whatever it might be. But it was great. But 101 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: the hYP hypnotizing piece, you go even like underneath that layer. 102 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 1: So you're just like, I mean, I felt like I 103 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 1: was like melted in my chair. It was wild, y'all, 104 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: we're going to have her on and then he had 105 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 1: a parent. After that, I was like, look, I need 106 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: do that hypnotized He didn't text me, fine, I don't care. 107 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 1: Whatever I deserve better? Was this yesterday? Yes? Okay, Now 108 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 1: our text that was part of it. She like hypnotized 109 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 1: me and give how often can you do you should you? Well, 110 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 1: she'll tell you, she'll tell you all those things. But yeah, 111 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,039 Speaker 1: because we're definitely gonna have her on. She's awesome, amazing. 112 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,159 Speaker 1: But it was just funny because but it was more 113 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: and I'm I'm gonna get to the point. Okay, I 114 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 1: kind of went off, But the point was is I 115 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 1: have such um and you know those too. I've passed 116 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: out from it in times when I see a headline 117 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: or I get hate or I mean, I my anxiety 118 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: levels go so high that I'm trying to now stabilize 119 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,039 Speaker 1: that where I can look at it and go it's 120 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,360 Speaker 1: not going to make me hyperventilate to pass out. So 121 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: or if I you know X, Y or Z so 122 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,360 Speaker 1: or if I I don't know, read anything, it's kind 123 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,280 Speaker 1: of like, Okay, that's cool. They that sucks. They have 124 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: that thought about me. But so it's about kind of 125 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 1: going to that level and then just like you know, 126 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 1: letting go of that energy. I mean, I can say 127 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: the difference between you even just years ago and now 128 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 1: with like panic attacks and anxiety from the outside looking 129 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: in is tremendously different. I mean, I was thinking the 130 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 1: other day about not even the plain story, which is 131 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: my best anxiety story panic attack for you around. But 132 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: do you know what I remember? I wanted to know 133 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 1: if you remember this. Oh God, there's been so many 134 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: when I first started working with you, I will never 135 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 1: fade it. No, no, no, no, no no. I was 136 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 1: still at home. Oh the church, Nope. Oh I called 137 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,560 Speaker 1: you at a church. Remember I then drive. I was 138 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 1: having a panic attack, and I made you come pick 139 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 1: me up at the church on Concord and whatever. Every 140 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 1: time I passed, I'm like an anxiety tack there, nod 141 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: cat come pick me up. Because me and Branlely got 142 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 1: no fight. There's that one, dude. I'd forgot about that. No, 143 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: I had not gone back to work. Emmy was still 144 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: because we started working with Emmy was like five weeks old. 145 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,880 Speaker 1: I mean, I can picture myself in the bedroom dealing 146 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: with this with the baby you bore. Think. I'm so 147 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 1: sorry you were to go from somewhere to like a 148 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:25,760 Speaker 1: radio show and you wouldn't go in the airport Atlanta. 149 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is my first interaction with you, really, 150 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 1: and I'm like, what the hell am I supposed to do? 151 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 1: I'll never forget it as long as I live. I 152 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 1: was like, just walk in, Like I just just walk 153 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,680 Speaker 1: and just go. She didn't understand I was having such 154 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 1: a bad anxiety. I just visited Brantley or we just 155 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: started dating, and I was like, the Atlanta airport is 156 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 1: very stressful. Fair it is, I mean it's so stressful. 157 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,559 Speaker 1: And I just yeah, I did the whole of getting 158 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 1: in that one tram thing and then it's just so 159 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: many people. And so I called her and I just 160 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,320 Speaker 1: I could feel my heart. I'm like, I'm gonna pass out. 161 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: And I was like, Catherine, I can't. I can't walk 162 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: in the airport. Mind you not to laugh about it. 163 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: I had truly not dealt with anxiety really with someone 164 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: before you. So I'm over here trying to be like, 165 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 1: you know, we just started working together. Front of the other. 166 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: I'm like I'm calling everybody. I'm like, hey, like the 167 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 1: radio rap, I'm like, should I'd not be walking? Like 168 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,559 Speaker 1: what do you mean? You just have her walk in 169 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 1: the airport? I'm like, I mean, I'm not there. I 170 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,959 Speaker 1: can't force her the next thing, I know, you're not 171 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 1: going in the airport or driving back. I couldn't do it. 172 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:43,080 Speaker 1: I just I just I physically couldn't do it. I remember, Yeah, 173 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,080 Speaker 1: his brother had to drive me, and was I with 174 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: the guitar player. I can't remember meeting everyone there and 175 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:52,719 Speaker 1: oh yeah, but yeah I had to drive because I 176 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 1: didn't drive. I had someone driving me. But it was 177 00:09:55,360 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 1: because I just I physically couldn't go in. But yeah, wow, 178 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,320 Speaker 1: well yeah I thought about that was a blast. You've 179 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,560 Speaker 1: come a long way and I wouldn't even travel alone 180 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:12,680 Speaker 1: up until really since my divorce. Yeah, I mean, even 181 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: if you had to, if I had to, But I 182 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 1: remember I had a panic attack when I was It 183 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: was actually the show that Easton was at UM when 184 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 1: he sang it, which we totally put back up on 185 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 1: Socialis the other day. Um, even Easton came on stage. 186 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: But I had a panic attack with Mike leaving, and 187 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 1: I was like, I can't like and I was even 188 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 1: with my band guys, but I just I didn't even 189 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:37,240 Speaker 1: want to fly then without him. I mean it was like, yeah, 190 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: but if I had to, had to I wouldn't cancel 191 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,080 Speaker 1: a show, but I mean there were times when I'm like, 192 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 1: can I cancel the show? But I was telling this 193 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:52,439 Speaker 1: hypnosis lady that my anxiety truly went away after my divorce. 194 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,400 Speaker 1: Now I still have bouts of it. I know i'd 195 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: handle it now, but I mean the massive anxiety attacks 196 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: they have not so crazy. Yeah, I mean I've had 197 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 1: like moments of like anxiety obviously that you saw, and yeah, 198 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 1: but it's so different, so differently. And that's me coming 199 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,560 Speaker 1: from a person that doesn't even truly understand the difference 200 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,440 Speaker 1: between anxiety panic. I'm not trained on that, and it 201 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 1: is just from what I see, it's so different. Yeah, 202 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,080 Speaker 1: you just brought up every story though. I was like, 203 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: oh that one that No, the church, No, not that 204 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: one either. Okay, Yeah, I took a good time. I 205 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 1: unloaded a lot of drama. I took a control and 206 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,440 Speaker 1: I yeah, I just I'm writing about that too because 207 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 1: I know a lot of people deal with anxiety and 208 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,320 Speaker 1: it's not fun. And um, maybe we can even talk 209 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 1: to our amazing doctor Christina about that. She's going to 210 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 1: be coming on um the show. She's a licensed clinical psychologist, 211 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: so I think i'd love to just ask her kind 212 00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 1: of that what she sees with people that leave certain situations. 213 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 1: And then because I think stress holds so much in 214 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,360 Speaker 1: your body when you're you know, I don't know, maybe 215 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 1: that's just me. But because she deals with trauma, PTSC, 216 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,560 Speaker 1: substance abuse and addictions. So, um, we're gonna get her 217 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:18,240 Speaker 1: on the show. But before we do, Um gosh, that 218 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 1: was such a memory down memory lane. Um. I want 219 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,720 Speaker 1: to talk about Dime. They are a sponsor of this podcast, 220 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,800 Speaker 1: so I get you know, we do products I do. 221 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 1: I have different skincare regiments, but what regiments, regimens, regimens 222 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 1: or is it really regimens? And it's a It's great 223 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:48,920 Speaker 1: because Dime is by far the one that I've been 224 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 1: most consistent with on a regular basis. It makes in 225 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,400 Speaker 1: other things, but Dime is Dime is awesome. I've gotten 226 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 1: a lot of people on it. What I started with 227 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:01,079 Speaker 1: it was the hyaluronic acid serum u UM. I am 228 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,319 Speaker 1: so obsessed with hyaluronic acid serum because it's not only 229 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: boost at hydrates, at locks and moisture. There's a lot 230 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: of benefits. Um. It's not just for dry skin, but 231 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: it just gives you that extra kind of hydration and 232 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: plump nous um. So I love that. I also want 233 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 1: to talk about their wonder screen SPF thirty. I just 234 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 1: have started wearing sunscreen, and so I've been testing a 235 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: lot of them out and I love. It's a clean 236 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: mineral sunscreen, so it's you you can use it for 237 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 1: every day. Um. But it's SPF thirty, it's super lightweight, 238 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 1: it's non greasy, non drying, like I love all of that. 239 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: And then I lashed boots syrium, so I have lashes 240 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: on right now, just because you know, going in and 241 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,080 Speaker 1: out of working, it's just easier to have the lashes on. 242 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:44,839 Speaker 1: But I'll tell you what. The eyelashed boot serum grew 243 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 1: my lashes so long during um COVID that I was 244 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 1: just like, thank you, it's so good. Um, did you 245 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 1: have them on for a while. It wouldn't come off 246 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,680 Speaker 1: for a long time. They made them longer and thicker 247 00:13:56,720 --> 00:14:00,320 Speaker 1: and fuller. And so my routine that I do with 248 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 1: Dime is I they had this cleansing phone, so I 249 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 1: love the cleansing phone. And then I washed my then 250 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: and then after I washed my face, I put on 251 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 1: the hyaluronic acid serum and then from there whether it's 252 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 1: the day or night. But there's the dewey day cream 253 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 1: and then there's the night time restorative cream. So I 254 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 1: put that on. And they also got a great under eye. Um. 255 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: But you know it's great too. About Dime is they 256 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: have you always are like what lipstick color? Like? I 257 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 1: love Johnny. I just bought a new one, Noah David 258 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 1: are the coolest colors? Like ones? Really? Johnny is really 259 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 1: good for like spring, summer, fall. I mean they're like 260 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,800 Speaker 1: so good. And then Noah is like I wear that 261 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 1: one pretty much throughout the entire year and they stay 262 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,720 Speaker 1: so good. Yeah. I love Johnny. It has like like 263 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 1: a pinge of like orange on most in it. Yeah, 264 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 1: I like Johnny Love. Do you to the TVT serum? 265 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: Can you do that in the lauric acid? Oh yeah, 266 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 1: oh you just like layered up off. Okay, I'm just wondering, 267 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: like I'm just doing this I'm supposed to because I 268 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: don't know what I'm doing. Yeah yeah, yeah, but I 269 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: just love all the serums. Know, the serums are great, 270 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 1: The TVTS are good. Um, they actually have really good 271 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: fragrances too. I mean all the products are really good. 272 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 1: They're vegan it's a female on company, so she's great. 273 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:18,200 Speaker 1: She's um. You know, I'll support any working mom. Yeah. 274 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,800 Speaker 1: I mean they're they're really good products. So I want 275 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 1: to make sure you guys get um a percentage off. 276 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 1: So when you guys try these products out, make sure 277 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 1: you use my code wind down twenty off your entire order. 278 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 1: And remember Dime also provides free shipping on orders over. 279 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:51,960 Speaker 1: If you haven't tried Dime Beauty yet, make sure you do. Hi, 280 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 1: how are you? How are you guys? Oh? Good? If 281 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,760 Speaker 1: my phone doesn't in my backyard, you're so where are 282 00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: you located? Hi? S F Bay area backyard? Curty? Did 283 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: you say San Francisco? Yeah? I love San franc That 284 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: sounds so nice right now now, I love San franc 285 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 1: I just was recently. They're visiting a friend, and I 286 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 1: like ran the pier and it was just so beautiful. Yeah, beautiful, 287 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: And I honestly, I don't know. I was just like, 288 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 1: oh man, it was. I ran all the way down 289 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 1: to the bay, the Bay Bridge, and then I ran 290 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 1: to the golden Golden gate bridge like by the little 291 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 1: I mean, I was like, you know, I was very slow, 292 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 1: but I did it, and it was so much fun um. Yeah. 293 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 1: I mean it's an active city. It's really chill weather, 294 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 1: which is nice. Yeah, and you know, just for two 295 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 1: million dollars you can have a shock, I mean for 296 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: two So yeah, are you Are you from the Bay Area? Yeah, yeah, 297 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,680 Speaker 1: I'm from the East Coast when I was younger, but 298 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 1: I've been out here since I was like, you know, 299 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,080 Speaker 1: middle school and haven't left, so I like it. It's 300 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:09,479 Speaker 1: hard to leave when you know, the weather's nice all 301 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: year round and people are nice, and but it's kind 302 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: of ridiculous in terms of how expensive it is. That's yeah, 303 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: I mean I can't. I can't well, I mean I 304 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,400 Speaker 1: lived out and lived out in l A. But now 305 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: living here in Nashville, Yeah, it's kind of like I 306 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,640 Speaker 1: don't know how I could go. I know how I could, 307 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 1: because there's so much to offer in California and there's 308 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,400 Speaker 1: so much culture and things you can do, but it's 309 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 1: the money piece that always stops me too, because I'm like, 310 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 1: how can Like, you know, you can have this, but 311 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,399 Speaker 1: then you go there and then you you don't. You 312 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 1: don't have to chop it into like quarters. But Nashville 313 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,919 Speaker 1: is being in the new California. I mean we can 314 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: all agree, right because we all come in there. I 315 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 1: know what I have to be. I'm like, okay, one 316 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:57,960 Speaker 1: more time, phone, come on. UM. A family in Franklin, 317 00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,919 Speaker 1: and I was looking at houses and I was like, 318 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 1: I mean, it's still better than California, but it's ridiculous. 319 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 1: From when they moved there, they got like a mansion 320 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 1: for like three hundred and now it's like, you know, 321 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:10,440 Speaker 1: a million. Yeah, good luck finding a three d millar 322 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 1: house anywhere near here. I don't think it. I don't 323 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 1: think it exists anymore. So I was like, all right, 324 00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:19,119 Speaker 1: maybe not Frankland right now. Well, we will welcome you 325 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,199 Speaker 1: with open arms. At church the other day, our pastor 326 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 1: we were talking about moving and it's like, you know, 327 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 1: how many people, how many people have, like you know, 328 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,480 Speaker 1: have moved to Nashville the last five years, and like 329 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,880 Speaker 1: everyone raises their hands and then they're like, how many 330 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 1: of you are from California? And they're like oh, they 331 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,399 Speaker 1: like I had all had their hands up, and I 332 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,400 Speaker 1: was just like, listen, I was here before, y'all. Okay, 333 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,920 Speaker 1: what you have to say that you have to say 334 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:46,119 Speaker 1: that I was before the movement. So we we were 335 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: kind of having a conversation. I wanted to, um, bring 336 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,399 Speaker 1: you in on it. So I was I was telling 337 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,439 Speaker 1: her that I had met with this one woman, and 338 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: I was telling her how post divorce, I noticed my 339 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,639 Speaker 1: anxiety pretty much mess still have moments of anxiety, but 340 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:05,080 Speaker 1: that it pretty much the big you know, panic attacks, 341 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 1: the mill of the night, that waking up the um 342 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 1: you know, I'm even able to do certain things now 343 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:15,960 Speaker 1: has it isn't there at all anymore? I mean, again, 344 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:20,600 Speaker 1: there's pieces and moments, right, but um, is there is 345 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,239 Speaker 1: there like a direct correlation with being in when you 346 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: let go of something negative or I mean, what is 347 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 1: the because I always thought anxiety was just tied to 348 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 1: serotonin levels and with the chemicals in your brain and yeah, help, yes, yeah, 349 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 1: I mean I'm hearing a few different things that play 350 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:44,879 Speaker 1: when I hear a specific shift around how our body 351 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 1: and our mind is holding anxiety. So sometimes we can 352 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 1: look back and we can see, you know, in hindsight, wow, 353 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 1: it makes sense that my anxiety was heightened in this 354 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:59,359 Speaker 1: period of time. And so whatever that time is, whether 355 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,920 Speaker 1: it's you know, through a relationship, through a transition, through 356 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 1: a hardship, through a work, you know, experience, whatever that 357 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,119 Speaker 1: is if we can look back and say, wow, my 358 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:14,240 Speaker 1: anxiety was really tired for you know, intrinsically to that situation, 359 00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 1: then we can say, hmm, I wonder if there's a 360 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:21,680 Speaker 1: relationship with that person, place, or thing that elevated that activated, 361 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: that made my anxiety so much more palpable. The other 362 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 1: part is is what we know about anxiety now, and 363 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 1: they just actually released the study. I don't know if 364 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 1: anybody have seen it. Around um serotonin and dopamine and 365 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 1: all the neuro transmitters in our brain might not be 366 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,280 Speaker 1: the full story that we thought it was. With anxiety, 367 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 1: depression and this other method really a nature versus nurture. 368 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,280 Speaker 1: Some of us, right are just genetically more prone to 369 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 1: certain mental health struggles, panic, anxiety, depression, addiction, all of 370 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 1: that we know historically has a stronger tie. But the 371 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: other part is there's always going to be an environmental 372 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: part that can activate something that already lies within us. 373 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 1: So when you're speaking about divorce, we can make sense 374 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,440 Speaker 1: when we can look back and say, wow, that relationship 375 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 1: activated me, triggered me, it really made me feel so 376 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:20,440 Speaker 1: many things. Now that there's distance from that, I'm noticing 377 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 1: a change. And then the next part would be how 378 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,760 Speaker 1: do I continue to nurture that change so that my 379 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:32,200 Speaker 1: anxiety levels can be at a much more manageable right space, 380 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: so that life can be much more on your terms 381 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: versus what I call anxieties terms. I mean, that only 382 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,919 Speaker 1: makes sense to me. I've always kind you know, that 383 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,720 Speaker 1: seems to be like the new stuff that's coming out, 384 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,399 Speaker 1: But I kind of thought that that's how it worked. 385 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,919 Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, yeah, I think I think part of 386 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 1: us wants to believe that our mental struggles are fully 387 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: outside of ourselves, right like we were born this way, 388 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,359 Speaker 1: you know, it's outside of our control. We didn't have 389 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,879 Speaker 1: a choice. And again I see it much more as 390 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 1: some of us are more genetically vulnerable to certain things. 391 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:11,240 Speaker 1: But the good news is is that any mental health 392 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 1: conditions such as anxiety, panic, depression, addiction, any of this 393 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,959 Speaker 1: is not a life sentence. And I truly want to 394 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,960 Speaker 1: empower people, especially the people I work with, to understand 395 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 1: that sometimes when you get this diagnosis, it can be 396 00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,880 Speaker 1: relieving for some because there's a name, but it can 397 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 1: be so overwhelming and scary to think, oh my gosh, 398 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,679 Speaker 1: am I gonna have anxiety for the rest of my life. 399 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 1: It's just what my whole life is going to look like. 400 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 1: And I want people to also hear that that that 401 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:43,640 Speaker 1: isn't how anxiety works. There's never a time that you 402 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:47,679 Speaker 1: go back to feeling what you did that first panic attack, 403 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: that first depressive episode. I always tell people that that part, 404 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 1: it's not where you go back to. It's about how 405 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 1: do you have tools in your toolbox to continue to 406 00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 1: navigate something that it's not just genetic based. How can 407 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 1: you do your part in the healing journey so that 408 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 1: none of this has to be a life sentence, but 409 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 1: really a struggle of transition where you find out new 410 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 1: different ways to navigate something that does and can become 411 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:25,760 Speaker 1: sin through time and treatment. So anxiety, is it right? 412 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:32,480 Speaker 1: Is about like unknown fear, right, Okay, So where where 413 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,160 Speaker 1: my anxiety comes in It is like, oh, I don't 414 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 1: want to do this because I'm afraid I'm going to 415 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,320 Speaker 1: have a panic attack. M hmm, yeah, that's panic cat 416 00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,800 Speaker 1: that is panic attack one oh one. Yeah. So that 417 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: is why I don't do certain things because I'm like, 418 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,119 Speaker 1: I can't do that because what if I have an 419 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 1: anxiety attack or what happens or and so that's why 420 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 1: it's frustrating. I would love to change that mindset to 421 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:57,080 Speaker 1: not say, well, I'm not going to do this because 422 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,119 Speaker 1: I'm afraid I'm gonna have a panic attack or and 423 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,920 Speaker 1: I feel like I've let itself go in certain areas, 424 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,200 Speaker 1: but there are other things that I still feel like 425 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:08,640 Speaker 1: I hold myself back because I'm more afraid of, like, well, 426 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,480 Speaker 1: what happens if I get a panic attack? Then what? 427 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: M hmmmm? So as a panic attack, um, what do 428 00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 1: I want to call myself survivor warrior? I don't. I 429 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,120 Speaker 1: don't know what term I use. But as someone who 430 00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,719 Speaker 1: struggled with pan attacks all of my adolescents in your 431 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 1: adult life, the one thing my therapist taught me was 432 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 1: that panic attacks are fueled off of avoidance. So every 433 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:40,800 Speaker 1: time we avoid, we strengthen that fear around having a 434 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: panic attack. So every time we don't make that phone call, 435 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 1: we don't take that trip, we don't reach out to 436 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 1: that person, we don't get on that flight, every time 437 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:55,320 Speaker 1: we avoid, we strengthen the circular impact of panic attacks. 438 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 1: And so in our mind, temporary discomfort okay we have, 439 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:06,080 Speaker 1: but we're training that in for long term dysfunction, because 440 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:09,719 Speaker 1: now our life becomes smaller and smaller and smaller, because 441 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,920 Speaker 1: we tend to continue to avoid and avoid because it's like, 442 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, good job, I kept myself safe. I 443 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,200 Speaker 1: didn't have a panic attack. That means I have to 444 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:21,160 Speaker 1: keep avoiding going on this bridge, getting on that highway, 445 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:25,320 Speaker 1: getting on you know that helicopter. Whatever our our panic 446 00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 1: attack trigger is right, whether it's emotional, whether it's physical, 447 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: we tell ourselves a good job, I avoided it. I 448 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 1: didn't have pain attack, So I need to keep avoiding it, 449 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,400 Speaker 1: and then our world gets smaller and smaller and smaller. 450 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,040 Speaker 1: The true trick with panic attacks, and it has to 451 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 1: be you know, intervals and slow and steady, is that 452 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,240 Speaker 1: you have to find what we call in psychology your 453 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 1: window of tolerance, which is how much discomfort can I 454 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 1: tolerate without getting flooded, without being overwhelmed, without having the 455 00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,560 Speaker 1: panic attack, So that I can teach myself, I can 456 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 1: train myself to know that actually can do these really hard, scary, 457 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 1: difficult things. And it's so much easier said than done. 458 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:13,360 Speaker 1: But you have to remind yourself that avoidance is absolutely 459 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:17,639 Speaker 1: the crux of panic attacks, and every time we choose 460 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 1: not to avoid, we're slowly chipping away at that connection, 461 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:26,439 Speaker 1: that relationship we've given ourselves between the panic attack and 462 00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:28,679 Speaker 1: the thing that we think will activate or trigger it. 463 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. It's interesting and and it makes total sense. 464 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 1: And also a part of me is like, you know, 465 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,800 Speaker 1: I had a girlfriend, uh do a road trip with 466 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 1: her kids from Florida to Michigan and on the way 467 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,640 Speaker 1: back Michigan and Florida, and yesterday she stopped on her 468 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: way back, and I'm just like, man, I could never 469 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 1: do that. Yes, yeah, because what I can barely drive 470 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,919 Speaker 1: in the expressway. I send my girlfriends like a you know, 471 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,119 Speaker 1: a joke text mess and like go, guys, look at 472 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 1: them on the expressway, Like because you know, I go. 473 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,760 Speaker 1: I only go my comfort bubble of where I drive 474 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,679 Speaker 1: on the expressway because if I get trapped on an expressway, 475 00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,639 Speaker 1: I will pass out in my car. There is no 476 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:11,480 Speaker 1: like I will have I will have a helicopter come 477 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,040 Speaker 1: air lift me out of my car. Like that is 478 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:17,479 Speaker 1: how bad being trapped is for me. Is like PTSD trauma. 479 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 1: So like I just avoid it at all costs. Now, 480 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,120 Speaker 1: when I know that there's not gonna be traffic time, yeah, 481 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,280 Speaker 1: I'll hop on for like a few exits just to 482 00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 1: be like I got this, I got this, like I'm driving, 483 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:33,920 Speaker 1: but then, you know, is that okay to just to go? 484 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:35,480 Speaker 1: You know what, I'm just not one of those people 485 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,399 Speaker 1: that are gonna be able to across country trip. And 486 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:41,600 Speaker 1: I don't really have to prove anything to myself, no, 487 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,880 Speaker 1: And I think all of us has to check in 488 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,439 Speaker 1: with what would be meaningful for you, right, which is 489 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:51,359 Speaker 1: different than what's meaningful for me. So much of our anxiety, though, 490 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,399 Speaker 1: does attack things that matter to us, right. And so 491 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,399 Speaker 1: if for you it matters to be able to you know, 492 00:27:58,480 --> 00:27:59,919 Speaker 1: get in the car with your kids and be like, 493 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,680 Speaker 1: we're going to Disney World, right, Like, if that matters 494 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:07,160 Speaker 1: to you, right, then I would say, huh, I want 495 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 1: to do around that? How would we want to make 496 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,119 Speaker 1: small incremental shifts towards that goal? If for you, you're like, 497 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,359 Speaker 1: you know, I want to work on this, but I 498 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,280 Speaker 1: don't need to feel like I'm going to California in 499 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:23,919 Speaker 1: New York right asking ourselves when anxieties in the picture, 500 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 1: does this mean something to me? Does this matter to me? 501 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 1: Because there's a difference between avoiding something because it's not 502 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:36,960 Speaker 1: important and avoiding something because it makes us so incredibly uncomfortable. 503 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,880 Speaker 1: Is there anything that you avoid? I know you don't 504 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: really is is everything you are saying is applying to me, 505 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 1: but not with anxiety and panic attacks, just with being 506 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 1: vulnerable Like that Literally everything she's saying I was, And 507 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 1: I literally have dealt with the situation all week. That 508 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 1: is that, And it's like I want to avoid. I 509 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,280 Speaker 1: want to avoid, and then tried to address it head 510 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 1: on and then I just kind of leashed. My emotions 511 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,280 Speaker 1: were all over the place. But I got to a 512 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,640 Speaker 1: point where it's like I can't keep avoiding being vulnerable 513 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 1: and talking about how I feel because I have to 514 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,040 Speaker 1: be able to move forward. But it's just interesting because 515 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,960 Speaker 1: it just applies the same I feel like, right, but 516 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:21,200 Speaker 1: that's not really diety. But but avoidance in general keeps 517 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 1: us right. Like you said, I want to avoid because 518 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:26,960 Speaker 1: I don't want to tolerate this discomfort. But then you 519 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,400 Speaker 1: have to ask yourself, but what am I treating in 520 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:34,040 Speaker 1: that for? Yeah, And it's usually a longer term discomfort 521 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,640 Speaker 1: or dysfunction where we teach ourselves to be quiet, we 522 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 1: teach ourselves not to speak our truth, We teach ourselves that, 523 00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:45,200 Speaker 1: you know, what we'd rather just keep the peace, and 524 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 1: we have to check in with ourselves and like, well, 525 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,600 Speaker 1: but our inner peace, when did that stop mattering? Right? 526 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,280 Speaker 1: And it does. We We are taught just decidally that, 527 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,760 Speaker 1: you know, just be quiet, go with the flow, don't 528 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 1: say much um and and I think that anybody who 529 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: questions that is is already a few steps ahead where 530 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 1: you're like, ah, this doesn't feel good not to speak 531 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 1: on this or say something about this, but I know 532 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,640 Speaker 1: I'm not supposed to technically, or maybe I shouldn't. And 533 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:16,360 Speaker 1: still choosing to say something within your comfort level is important. 534 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 1: Is how we slowly and again, all of this is 535 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:25,240 Speaker 1: about taking incremental steps towards, you know, getting getting outside 536 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:28,720 Speaker 1: of our comfort zone. And I actually dislike the saying 537 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,040 Speaker 1: like everything good is outside your comfort zone, because I 538 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,239 Speaker 1: think that actually everything good is when we stretch our 539 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 1: comfort zone. Right. We don't throw somebody in the deep 540 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,840 Speaker 1: end when they can't swim just because they're uncomfortable with it. No, 541 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,160 Speaker 1: we teach them how to get a little further and 542 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 1: a little further and a little further until they feel 543 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 1: comfortable enough to learn to the deep end. And that's 544 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 1: how our comfort zones grow. Every time we choose to 545 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:56,960 Speaker 1: stretch it, we get stronger, we become more resilient. And 546 00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,240 Speaker 1: so I think that, like you said, it applies to 547 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,880 Speaker 1: all things, not just our mental health struggles. Yeah, and 548 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: it's in a way, it's just getting unstuck from you know, 549 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:12,920 Speaker 1: uncomfortablelitty or anxiety or depression or just like you're keeping 550 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:17,000 Speaker 1: yourself ultimately stuck. So how do you unstick yourself from it? 551 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 1: And it does it gets to be a dysfunction for sure, 552 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:21,920 Speaker 1: you know you say that, it's like you look and 553 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 1: it's like, man, I'm thirty eight years old and I've 554 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:25,880 Speaker 1: been doing this for how long. It's like now I 555 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 1: got to start over and figure out how to do 556 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:34,000 Speaker 1: this differently because I got myself right. Hey, here we are. 557 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:40,440 Speaker 1: How did you feel though being vulnerable? Obviously we're not 558 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,960 Speaker 1: going to talk about what the situation, but like, but 559 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,280 Speaker 1: like I'm just curious because you you do, you know, 560 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:50,000 Speaker 1: struggle with being vulnerable in that area, and so I'm 561 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,080 Speaker 1: just curious how that. The interesting thing is is like 562 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 1: I will go have a conversation, like I will come 563 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 1: at you like I'm an eight and I'm going to like, 564 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:02,240 Speaker 1: let you know, but it's vulnerable though no, but the vulnerable. 565 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,840 Speaker 1: So it's like, so what I struggled with with this 566 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 1: certain sick situation is I wanted to be mad. I 567 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 1: was hurt. I wanted to be mad, and I wanted 568 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 1: to attack. But then I had to kind of peel 569 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:15,800 Speaker 1: that back and sit down and have a conversation and 570 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 1: like live in those emotions and apologize for it. But 571 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:24,760 Speaker 1: I mean, I have never felt that much growth ever 572 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:29,360 Speaker 1: in thirty eight years, you ever, And how like, how 573 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 1: did that feel? Proud? Think I was emotional roller coasters? 574 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,160 Speaker 1: It was like I feel not to say like nothing 575 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 1: bad about bipolar, but I felt very bipolar. It was 576 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 1: just like one minute I felt this and women and 577 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 1: I felt this, and I was just like I've never 578 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:48,640 Speaker 1: dealt with these kinds of emotions. It was beyond crazy. 579 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:50,920 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm still I can feel it's still a 580 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,640 Speaker 1: training though, you know, because I'll still find myself being like, 581 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,880 Speaker 1: oh but that's still kind of okay, bring it back 582 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,800 Speaker 1: like wow, does this mean you know, oh that's a 583 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: lot yep, Like but but like you're even showing emotion now, 584 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 1: you know, And it's like I just I mean, not 585 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,560 Speaker 1: to give too much information and not to go onto 586 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 1: my stuff, but like, I just came out of a 587 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:15,920 Speaker 1: fifteen year marriage and part of this whole thing ended 588 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,840 Speaker 1: in the night of having a conversation with my ex 589 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,960 Speaker 1: husband and he literally looked at me and he was like, 590 00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:27,080 Speaker 1: I have never seen this, you know, I mean like 591 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,720 Speaker 1: he just in like I think he needed it, you know, 592 00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:31,520 Speaker 1: I think he needed to see it. I needed to 593 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,200 Speaker 1: feel it. I needed to see it. And it was 594 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 1: just it was just such a moment. I was like, 595 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,320 Speaker 1: nobody's seeing this from me, you know, it's kind of crazy, 596 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,640 Speaker 1: but I'm so proud of you because that is that's 597 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:43,840 Speaker 1: the growth that you know, you talked about with you know, 598 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,120 Speaker 1: our therapist Amy, where it's like this is this is 599 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,600 Speaker 1: the work to to not repeat the patterns, like it's 600 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 1: weird exactly asked. I was like, but how do I 601 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,719 Speaker 1: do this? Like how do I change? How do I 602 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 1: And it's just kind of like it's happening this situation. 603 00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,640 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily wish the situation would happen, but now 604 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,760 Speaker 1: I'm why it happened, you know, And now you get 605 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,840 Speaker 1: to see how like it does happen with your growth 606 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 1: and like how does it change? Well, you just have 607 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:14,520 Speaker 1: to sink into the thens, the uncomfortableness, is it. Yeah, 608 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,759 Speaker 1: they discomfort yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to stay in 609 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:21,839 Speaker 1: the stock is what we say, for a minute or two, right, 610 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:25,720 Speaker 1: and and really feel what is calling to be felt. 611 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,520 Speaker 1: And that's what I hear from your stories that you 612 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:32,400 Speaker 1: allowed yourself maybe to feel things that surprised you, surprised 613 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,879 Speaker 1: an observer, you know, that had a front seat for 614 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:41,160 Speaker 1: you know, fifteen years and and whenever those um opportunities 615 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:44,239 Speaker 1: for growth happen, they're not they're not necessarily fun, they're 616 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,279 Speaker 1: not enjoyable. Um. But you get to look back and 617 00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 1: you know, you get to say, like, huh, I wonder 618 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:54,719 Speaker 1: I wonder what I'm trying two tap into that was 619 00:34:54,800 --> 00:35:13,120 Speaker 1: ready finally to be expressed. Yeah. Absolutely, And I think 620 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,320 Speaker 1: to like, you're wanting to do things differently. Again, we 621 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,759 Speaker 1: don't know how right certain times, but that was a 622 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,399 Speaker 1: that was something that you get to go run into 623 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,640 Speaker 1: now and tell Amy like I did. Isn't it to 624 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 1: tell her we have the same therapist to go back. 625 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,799 Speaker 1: I'm like, there's so many moments in my I was 626 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,120 Speaker 1: dealing with something that I shared last week on the podcast, 627 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 1: but I was like, Okay, my friend's like, well, can 628 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:36,799 Speaker 1: you just kind of lie and say you don't want 629 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,200 Speaker 1: to come over because you don't feel good. I'm like, no, 630 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,319 Speaker 1: I have to do this differently, Like I have to 631 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,799 Speaker 1: like I have to speak my truth and like set 632 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,640 Speaker 1: up boundaries and like and and and I want to 633 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:49,760 Speaker 1: go run to Amy and tell her I did it right. Star. 634 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,200 Speaker 1: I want a gold star for my therapist. We all do, 635 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:56,480 Speaker 1: We all do. Yeah, yeah, that's so funny. I totally 636 00:35:56,520 --> 00:36:00,720 Speaker 1: want a gold star always. But I'm still her favorite. 637 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,319 Speaker 1: We also want to be everyone's favorite. It's funny. Whenever 638 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 1: we do telehealth, I'll put on there, I'm like your 639 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,279 Speaker 1: favorite client, Like I don't put my name just like 640 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:15,719 Speaker 1: your favorite client. She hates me, she does. Um, I'm 641 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,759 Speaker 1: curious to what you've seen. You know, we both have 642 00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:22,839 Speaker 1: young kids, and do you have kids as well? What 643 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:30,960 Speaker 1: are your ages? Six? Two in nine months? Oh? Why 644 00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 1: do you think I'm outside? Got it? Okay? Well, so 645 00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,400 Speaker 1: I've got a six and um she's got three that 646 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:43,879 Speaker 1: are always ten, sixteen, ten and six and minor six 647 00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:48,279 Speaker 1: and three. And you know, what do you think is 648 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,440 Speaker 1: for their generation going to be the thing that we 649 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,000 Speaker 1: have to watch with them? Is it? Is it more depression. 650 00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,960 Speaker 1: Is it more anxiety? Is it more? And like what 651 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,839 Speaker 1: are the leading is it? Is it social media? Is it? Like? 652 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:01,960 Speaker 1: What is it so that I can not I don't 653 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,000 Speaker 1: want to put bubble wrap around him, right, but I 654 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:07,000 Speaker 1: also want to be aware of things that like that 655 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,040 Speaker 1: you might see that from people coming in or that 656 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,440 Speaker 1: you talked to that's like this is or and you know, 657 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,040 Speaker 1: as divorced single moms, like what's something that you know? 658 00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,440 Speaker 1: So I know there's like the million questions thrown at you, 659 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:23,200 Speaker 1: but just because because I I have made mistakes where 660 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,719 Speaker 1: I said something, oh my God to my daughter the 661 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,480 Speaker 1: other day and I had just had I was at 662 00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,359 Speaker 1: my wits end and I ended up going and apologizing 663 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:35,240 Speaker 1: to her. But she's just challenging me every freaking second. 664 00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,880 Speaker 1: It's like, you know this, let's just like why mommy, 665 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,360 Speaker 1: or like just or whining. I'm like, Jolie, can you 666 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,960 Speaker 1: just say yes mommy? Or just like And I try 667 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,239 Speaker 1: a few times to just be and then by the 668 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,120 Speaker 1: fourth time she's like, well I don't want anyone. I'm like, 669 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: I don't care, you know, And I go, I don't care, 670 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:57,160 Speaker 1: and Jace goes, I don't care, and I was like 671 00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:01,600 Speaker 1: and I just started crying. Media immediately started like bawling, 672 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:03,359 Speaker 1: and I was just like, I am the worst mother, 673 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,960 Speaker 1: and but the keep goes. I'm like, now we're all yelling, 674 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:10,319 Speaker 1: and now my child everyone's crying, said the efford. Do 675 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:14,680 Speaker 1: not feel alone. We have all been there. You're lying. 676 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,319 Speaker 1: And I was like, and I've failed. So I'm like, 677 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,520 Speaker 1: is this gonna like, is she gonna now be depressed 678 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:22,279 Speaker 1: because I'm just like screaming at her? Or again I don't. 679 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,000 Speaker 1: I wasn't screaming, but I was. I definitely was like yelling, 680 00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,680 Speaker 1: and I don't I don't like to yell. I don't 681 00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:29,440 Speaker 1: like to get to that place. It doesn't feel good. 682 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:31,080 Speaker 1: I don't like when we're all yelling at each other. 683 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:35,839 Speaker 1: But anyways, there's a million questions, answer whichever ones you want. 684 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:41,759 Speaker 1: I'll start with the last one about it's all about 685 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:48,480 Speaker 1: the repair. It's all about the repair. We are human, 686 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:52,239 Speaker 1: whether we mess up in our home, outside our home, 687 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:56,280 Speaker 1: on a public stage, in private, we're all human. And 688 00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,279 Speaker 1: when we choose to repair, when we choose to umber 689 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,719 Speaker 1: ourselves and go to somebody and say, wow, I am 690 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,319 Speaker 1: so sorry, I was in the wrong. I messed up, 691 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,719 Speaker 1: we still live in the society that somehow thinks we 692 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:12,120 Speaker 1: shouldn't do that with children, and it bugs me because 693 00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:16,840 Speaker 1: you absolutely should apologize. I mean I think I do 694 00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:19,400 Speaker 1: it daily, so I might be on the other extreme, 695 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:24,400 Speaker 1: but we should absolutely apologize to our children because they 696 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: are seeing that we can get it on our knees, 697 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,759 Speaker 1: look them in the eyes and say, you know what, 698 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,960 Speaker 1: Mommy messed up right now. I should not have yelled. 699 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:39,160 Speaker 1: It actually had nothing to do with you. What happens 700 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:42,360 Speaker 1: then when it actually does, then you get to say. 701 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,160 Speaker 1: Then you get to correct and say, you know what, 702 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:49,000 Speaker 1: mommy lost her patients and that was wrong because even 703 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:53,239 Speaker 1: if it didn't have to deal with her, yeah, because yeah, 704 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,480 Speaker 1: I sat down with her and I laid with her 705 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:56,919 Speaker 1: in bed that night, and I was like, baby, girld, 706 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,640 Speaker 1: Mommy is really sorry. I yelled. It's just very frustrating 707 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:02,560 Speaker 1: when you do listen. But I'm so sorry, I yelled, 708 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,799 Speaker 1: and like, can we both try again tomorrow? Like you 709 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:07,719 Speaker 1: listen and I'll be more patient and m m m m. 710 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:11,440 Speaker 1: And then the repair is a commitment for us not 711 00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,279 Speaker 1: to repeat. So there's a stame in psychology. We either 712 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:18,080 Speaker 1: repeat or we repair, and that really means are we 713 00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:22,319 Speaker 1: willing to look at something right and repair it, or 714 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:26,080 Speaker 1: are we then not looking at it? And please believe, 715 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:30,000 Speaker 1: we will repeat it. So if we're looking at somebody 716 00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:33,040 Speaker 1: and saying, hey, I'm really sorry, I that that was 717 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:34,840 Speaker 1: you know, I was trying to speak to you. I 718 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:38,400 Speaker 1: really needed you to you know, get the lunch um. 719 00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,480 Speaker 1: But it never is okay for me to yell, and 720 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:44,480 Speaker 1: and that's something I need to work on. So today 721 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,239 Speaker 1: I'm going to take him time and I'm going to 722 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 1: reflect on how I can work on my patients. And 723 00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:52,560 Speaker 1: I would love it if you could join me. You know, 724 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,960 Speaker 1: if you see me getting frustrated, to also give me 725 00:40:56,040 --> 00:41:00,000 Speaker 1: some grace because I'm learning to and really allow people 726 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,680 Speaker 1: will to know that we're gonna stumble in this journey, 727 00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:05,160 Speaker 1: but we do want to repair. We don't want to repeat. 728 00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,120 Speaker 1: We don't want to keep saying the same sorry to 729 00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,880 Speaker 1: our kids, to our spouse, to our friends because they stopped. 730 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,160 Speaker 1: Then it loses me, right, you lie to your friends 731 00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,080 Speaker 1: and then you're like, sorry, I lied again. What's I'm 732 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:19,040 Speaker 1: working on it? Sorry light again, What's I'm working on it? All? Right? 733 00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,840 Speaker 1: She just likes the live, okay, But if somebody like 734 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,000 Speaker 1: our child comes in, they're like, wow, Like my mom 735 00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,040 Speaker 1: says she wants to work on our yelling, and then 736 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,680 Speaker 1: maybe not tomorrow, but you know, six months on the line, 737 00:41:29,719 --> 00:41:34,040 Speaker 1: I don't know it's yelling right that will impact them 738 00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,000 Speaker 1: because they're gonna see a changed behavior, They're gonna see 739 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,200 Speaker 1: a repair. And that's a gift we get to give 740 00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,880 Speaker 1: our our children that we're growing with them. And please believe, 741 00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,799 Speaker 1: our children will activate our own traumas. They activate all 742 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,760 Speaker 1: of our traumas. Nobody tells you that when you're glowing 743 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:52,719 Speaker 1: and you get your pregnant bump and you're like, I 744 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,560 Speaker 1: can't wait to be a mommy. No one's like, hey, 745 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,439 Speaker 1: guess what, all your traumas that you haven't seen yet, 746 00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,960 Speaker 1: they're about to come to the surface in the next 747 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:04,080 Speaker 1: ten years because they will activate our traumas, our own 748 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,640 Speaker 1: traumas from childhood, the way we were raised, the way 749 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:10,279 Speaker 1: we were spoken to, our relationship with their parents are siblings. 750 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:13,160 Speaker 1: I mean, it comes full with circle. So we have 751 00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:15,360 Speaker 1: to be willing to apologize and we have to be 752 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:19,759 Speaker 1: willing to do our own work so that we don't repeat. Yeah. 753 00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:21,920 Speaker 1: At on site, that was the biggest thing. They were 754 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:23,600 Speaker 1: like it's not about the rip, it's about the repair. 755 00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,040 Speaker 1: And like I just I always loved that quote so much. 756 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,239 Speaker 1: But yeah, that means we're gonna say something. Well. I 757 00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,279 Speaker 1: was literally just reading a book that was just talking 758 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:35,240 Speaker 1: about that about how kids activate your you know you're past, 759 00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:39,319 Speaker 1: and I'm just like, no, kidding, like not that what 760 00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:41,960 Speaker 1: this is? You know? I think it's that too. And 761 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:45,880 Speaker 1: also sometimes when I am in conflict with other people, 762 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,600 Speaker 1: I go, what is it about myself that I don't 763 00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,359 Speaker 1: what is? What is There's something in me that like? 764 00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,120 Speaker 1: Is that? That's why I don't like that? Like so 765 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,120 Speaker 1: my mom, when I get angry, it's because a piece 766 00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:57,480 Speaker 1: of me of what I do that I don't like. 767 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,239 Speaker 1: So it's like I almost see like the reflect shin 768 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:09,720 Speaker 1: mm hmmm something too. That's as interesting the first time, 769 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:14,799 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh gosh, all right, now on to the 770 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:20,759 Speaker 1: other depression was yes, with our children and depression anxiety trauma. 771 00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,520 Speaker 1: There's so many different lens that we can choose to 772 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,480 Speaker 1: view this, and so I always want to kind of 773 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:30,960 Speaker 1: caveat that because are there more rates of depression anxiety now? Absolutely? 774 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:35,799 Speaker 1: It's skyrockets. We're now seeing it everywhere with everyone did 775 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:39,600 Speaker 1: that always exist? Potentially, but we weren't talking about it, 776 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:41,719 Speaker 1: So we have to really think about it. Is it 777 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:45,239 Speaker 1: that these cases have increased? Right? And to some degree, yes, 778 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,959 Speaker 1: COVID pandemic all that. Absolutely, we can just clearly see 779 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,799 Speaker 1: the difference. But even before that, I asked myself, well, 780 00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:53,840 Speaker 1: maybe this stuff was always there and we just weren't 781 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,239 Speaker 1: talking about it and it was underreported and it was normalized. 782 00:43:57,680 --> 00:43:59,680 Speaker 1: I mean, they knew what a narcissist was a year ago, 783 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,880 Speaker 1: so right, But that's what I mean though. It's like, 784 00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,960 Speaker 1: I think these things have always existed and we just 785 00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,120 Speaker 1: told people to be quiet about it and we shame 786 00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:11,239 Speaker 1: them if they spoke about it, or you know, back 787 00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:15,600 Speaker 1: in the day we send people away to treatment or right, like, 788 00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,839 Speaker 1: I imagine these things have always existed. So sometimes as 789 00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:20,560 Speaker 1: a parent you can be scary because you're reading the 790 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,359 Speaker 1: data from the CDC and is saying how many you know, 791 00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:27,280 Speaker 1: hundreds and thousands of kids have depression, anxiety, eating disorders, trauma, 792 00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:30,440 Speaker 1: And yes, that exists, But I also want to say 793 00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:33,520 Speaker 1: that I think it's always existed. We just didn't have 794 00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,279 Speaker 1: the language, the word, the words, or the opportunity to 795 00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,080 Speaker 1: really speak to it, and I am thankful because at 796 00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:43,640 Speaker 1: least now present day, we at least know, hey, these 797 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,759 Speaker 1: are the signs of depression, these are the signs of 798 00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:49,080 Speaker 1: these are the signs of eating disorders, and we know 799 00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:52,560 Speaker 1: that there's treatment out there that can support it, versus 800 00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:57,080 Speaker 1: people living their whole lives in silence, shame or struggle 801 00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:02,600 Speaker 1: and nobody doing something about it. Yeah, definitely, I mean 802 00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:06,080 Speaker 1: it's you. It's just so much more normalized now. I mean, 803 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:09,640 Speaker 1: even just to go to a therapist, like I would 804 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:14,200 Speaker 1: not have grown up like asking to go to a therapist. Ever, 805 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:17,920 Speaker 1: It's just so much more normalized now. I loved my counselor. 806 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:23,319 Speaker 1: But would you have told people? Uh, because people just 807 00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,640 Speaker 1: didn't really do it as much and people didn't talk 808 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,480 Speaker 1: about it. That's very true. Yeah, that's where you're kind 809 00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,040 Speaker 1: of just do it and quiet and good for you 810 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:33,840 Speaker 1: for doing it. But I wouldn't have you know. But 811 00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:35,560 Speaker 1: that's what I mean now I have you know, I 812 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,399 Speaker 1: work a lot with teams and yang adults are coming 813 00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,160 Speaker 1: in their texting their best friend, help call you back 814 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,200 Speaker 1: at my therapist, right, like you know, been calling them 815 00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:45,239 Speaker 1: after Like all right, So today we talked about this 816 00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,520 Speaker 1: and I'm like laughing because I'm like, Wow, what a 817 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:52,440 Speaker 1: beautiful freedom to be able to just speak that to 818 00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,880 Speaker 1: somebody when that wasn't gifted to you know, you and 819 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,680 Speaker 1: me at that age, and and it gives me hope. 820 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:03,280 Speaker 1: It gives me hope that we can continue to normalize therapy, 821 00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:07,280 Speaker 1: we can continue to normalize and even prioritize our mental 822 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:10,640 Speaker 1: wellness because at the end of the day, mental health 823 00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:13,680 Speaker 1: is health. Mental health is physical health. There is nothing 824 00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,560 Speaker 1: in our lives if we are not mentally well. And 825 00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,319 Speaker 1: we still have a long way to go, but hey, 826 00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:23,360 Speaker 1: we're starting somewhere. I love it. Where can our listeners 827 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,640 Speaker 1: find you? Because you are awesome? Well thank Um. I'm 828 00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:33,680 Speaker 1: on Instagram, UM at Dr Christina um underscore something, you know. 829 00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:38,560 Speaker 1: I'm on Instagram. And then I also have a mental 830 00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:42,000 Speaker 1: health action campaign that's been out there for about three 831 00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:46,319 Speaker 1: years UM called hashtag therapy is cool, speaking of therapy, 832 00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:49,840 Speaker 1: and it's awesome. It provides you know, resources for people 833 00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:52,920 Speaker 1: to get access to therapy. It's got shirre, it's got totes, 834 00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,440 Speaker 1: and um, it's been really cool to see people all 835 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:57,680 Speaker 1: over the world, you know, out in these you know 836 00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:01,880 Speaker 1: monamental you know places it's a word on them that 837 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,239 Speaker 1: lets people know it's okay to to seek help, it's 838 00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:08,560 Speaker 1: okay to support yourself, it's okay to reach out because 839 00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,759 Speaker 1: none of us are in it alone. Yeah, amen to that. Well, 840 00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:13,680 Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on. We really appreciate. 841 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:20,680 Speaker 1: I might have to come see you san Fran. Yeah 842 00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:23,520 Speaker 1: all right, thanks for having me. All right, thanks girl, 843 00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:27,680 Speaker 1: thank you. Good byeye. Who knows if I'll ever be 844 00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:29,880 Speaker 1: back to San Fran, but if I do, I have 845 00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:33,200 Speaker 1: a nice little session, I will damn her and be like, Hi, 846 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:37,799 Speaker 1: she's great. Love love her, love her energy too. And 847 00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,680 Speaker 1: it's also just like, I don't know, it's all applicable, 848 00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:46,080 Speaker 1: it's all good. Like what're you thinking over there? I'm 849 00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:50,880 Speaker 1: still kind of on Atlanta, but it's a little on 850 00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:52,759 Speaker 1: my chest. I'm gonna have to go back to my 851 00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:58,240 Speaker 1: hypnotisk hypnotipnotism. Um question. So when she answered your question 852 00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:02,840 Speaker 1: about um the road trip part of it, did that 853 00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,160 Speaker 1: is that something that's important to you that you would 854 00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:11,440 Speaker 1: want to try and push or is it not good question? Um? 855 00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:15,280 Speaker 1: So I thought about that, and I love road trips. 856 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:20,000 Speaker 1: I love road trips, and I actually like driving. I 857 00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:24,880 Speaker 1: just don't like driving out of my comfort zone. Um, 858 00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,640 Speaker 1: here's here's here's the answer. It's not that it's important 859 00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,080 Speaker 1: to me. It's I don't like to have anything to 860 00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:33,680 Speaker 1: hold me back, right, That's what I don't like is 861 00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:37,120 Speaker 1: knowing that I have something that would hold me back 862 00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,920 Speaker 1: from doing something at all. In general. Sure, like I 863 00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:42,680 Speaker 1: don't want to jump out of a plane because I'm 864 00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:44,680 Speaker 1: scared that all of the panic attack, but it would 865 00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:48,239 Speaker 1: How cool would that be? I'm holding myself back from 866 00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:52,480 Speaker 1: certain things that could be an experience looking at it, 867 00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:56,120 Speaker 1: like what is important for you that gives you anxiety 868 00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,799 Speaker 1: that you could start pushing yourself and then maybe that 869 00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,319 Speaker 1: helps you push you out of your comfort zone kind 870 00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,799 Speaker 1: of in general. I just thought I was just thinking. 871 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:05,600 Speaker 1: When she asked that, I was like, that's a good question, 872 00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:08,120 Speaker 1: you know, because if it's not important to you, I 873 00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:10,279 Speaker 1: can see where it's like, okay, like maybe I'll try 874 00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,920 Speaker 1: and work on it, but it's not worth like you know, yeah, 875 00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:14,719 Speaker 1: I know it's a good question, and I'll have to 876 00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:16,120 Speaker 1: I think I have to write down a list of 877 00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:19,920 Speaker 1: what is actually sure important that is that I feel 878 00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:23,200 Speaker 1: that's holding me back. Well, like we probably travel before 879 00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:25,920 Speaker 1: right by yourself for that was important to you, and 880 00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:29,480 Speaker 1: you push yourself out of that. You know, that comfort 881 00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:33,560 Speaker 1: zone just interesting, yeah it is, I mean yeah yeah 882 00:49:33,920 --> 00:49:36,920 Speaker 1: yeah yeah yeah. Alright, guys, have a great one and 883 00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:38,479 Speaker 1: see you next week.