1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:01,440 Speaker 1: Kutbooms. 2 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:05,360 Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 3 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,480 Speaker 2: of the old Republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He 5 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the 6 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:19,600 Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, it's clearinghouse of 7 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,480 Speaker 2: hot takes. Break free for something special. The Fifth Hour 8 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 2: with Ben Maller starts right now. 9 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:33,480 Speaker 1: In the air everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben 10 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: Mallor and Danny G Radio. A Happy college Football Saturday. Well, 11 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: I'll be watching some college football this afternoon. Danny G 12 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: Radio will hopefully join me on the Sunday podcast, but 13 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:50,199 Speaker 1: you're stuck with just me, your friend Ben here on 14 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 1: the Fifth Hour for the first time in the month 15 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: of November. It is the first day of November, and 16 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: if you live in a place, which is most places 17 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: where the time changes tonight on the overnight, there will 18 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 1: be the time change, so we have that to look 19 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:08,840 Speaker 1: forward to, which means we like this, right, this is 20 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: the one we like because you get an extra hour 21 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 1: of sleep and all that, which is kind of cool. 22 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: On this edition of the Fifth Hour Podcast with Me 23 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: and Danny g who is producing this. We have Men 24 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: in Black, Santa Anita, and the Mallard Pie, and we're 25 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: combined all of these things together and we are going 26 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 1: to make a delicious, thick Chicago style pizza. Which I 27 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: have pointed out in the past to Tree in Chicago 28 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 1: and your Femi and some of those other guys. I 29 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 1: always thought, well, who wants to eat the pizza with 30 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: the tomato sauce on top? And then I had it 31 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,680 Speaker 1: and I said, oh my god, this is one of 32 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: the greatest things I've ever had. Let's get right to it. 33 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: So again, Men in Black, Santa Anita, Malard Pie, we start. 34 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: Let's not waste any time. Do not waste the get 35 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 1: to the point. Please don't bury the lead, my man. 36 00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: So we must address the snuffleopagus in the room, our lead. 37 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: On the Fifth Hour podcast from Toronto, we saw it 38 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: last night. Well, people were trigger treating and living their lives. 39 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 1: The Boys in Blue woke up from hibernation just in 40 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 1: time to set up what is going to be an 41 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: epic sports day today Game seven. And I'm now already annoyed. 42 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 1: It's been so often the last couple of years we've 43 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: heard the expression the greatest two words in sports. I've 44 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:32,960 Speaker 1: heard it so much now I'm starting to hate it. 45 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 1: And I used to say it all the time, and 46 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: I mean everywhere, like, oh, the greatest two words. Okay, 47 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,799 Speaker 1: I get it. It's good, it's gonna be fun, and 48 00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: it is on. I don't geet going in Toronto. I'm 49 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: getting a lot of messages from Dodger people saying, well, 50 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 1: you were ripping them. You didn't think they were gonna win. 51 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: I never said they didn't think they were going to 52 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,919 Speaker 1: win Game six. They had a huge pitching advantage with 53 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: Yamamoto on the mound. But the curtain call for the 54 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:04,040 Speaker 1: twenty twenty five baseball season, and somehow, somehow, the Dodgers, 55 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 1: who have looked like they didn't know how to play 56 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: baseball in this World Series, are still standing right there, 57 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: barely barely. They needed Yamamoto to throw another gem just 58 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 1: to stay alive. Stay alive. The Bejee's and Mookie Bets. 59 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: Finally I got several emails. I tried to tell you, 60 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: you shouldn't have been mean to Mookie Betts. What's wrong 61 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: with you? 62 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:27,679 Speaker 2: I know. 63 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: Mookie Bets finally earned his per diem congratulations. First time 64 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: he's shown up all World Series two massive runs, batted 65 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 1: in two, Ribby's stop the presses. Oh my god, Mookie Betts, 66 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: who's got one of those forever contracts contributing in the 67 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 1: World Series. And I am convinced that many of you 68 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: who listened to the Overnight So I don't know how 69 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: many these people listen to the podcast. I have no idea. 70 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: I know the radio shows its own entity. I feel 71 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: like if you listen to this fifth hour podcast, we're 72 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: at a higher level because you're going out of your 73 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: way to find the content. Some people just happen to 74 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 1: listen because it's on when they're at work or whatever, 75 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: working into the factory. So I have a nightly talk show. 76 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:16,720 Speaker 1: The job requires me to give opinions about what's going 77 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: on in sports. I know this is gonna be very 78 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:22,239 Speaker 1: difficult for you and on a daily basis. My job 79 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: is not to lick the toes of the people I 80 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 1: talk about. That is not the job. The job is 81 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 1: to be critical, all right. If you want to lick 82 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: their toes and knock yourself out, that's not really what 83 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,720 Speaker 1: I'm into. So Mookie Bets got it done. Good for him. 84 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,600 Speaker 1: This is the malor tough love effect. We talked about 85 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: this often. You take the haymaker, you throw some body 86 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:46,359 Speaker 1: blows body blow, body blow, body blow right at the athlete. 87 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: In this case, Mookie Bets. You rip them on the 88 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,840 Speaker 1: radio show, you call them out and boof. He remembers, 89 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: wait a minute, I'm Mookie Bets. And the guy was 90 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 1: betting a buck thirty in the World Series and you 91 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,600 Speaker 1: tell of you idiots wanted me to come out of 92 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 1: here and just kiss his ass, like what is wrong 93 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:09,160 Speaker 1: with you? And he looked like he was swinging an 94 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:13,679 Speaker 1: imaginary bat. He wasn't even a broomstick, an imaginary bat. 95 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: And then the game last night ending in epic fashion 96 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: the Blue Jays. It looked like it was gonna be 97 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 1: a total melt down here at the end. Dodgers had 98 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 1: a two run lead, Blue Jays had a golden opportunity, 99 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 1: the bases were packed, and it all went away on 100 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: three pitches thanks to a very crafty double play by 101 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: kik A and all those Blue Jay fans who were 102 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: wearing their powder blue hopping, hopping up and down, all excited, 103 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: and the game ends, and it was it was great. 104 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:47,359 Speaker 1: So here's what's on the line tonight. If the Dodgers 105 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: win Game seven. They do exactly what they were supposed 106 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: to do. Congratulations, you did what you were supposed to 107 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: do when you showed up the spring training. This roster, 108 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: and again, I like the Dodgers. You shouldn't say this 109 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,239 Speaker 1: means I'm just being honest. This roster is a collection 110 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: of baseball mercenaries, pampered, coddled, insulated from real life reality. 111 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:15,279 Speaker 1: And all of that gets justified if they win, win 112 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 1: the championship, the hunk a medal. That's all you gotta do. 113 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: They were built for this moment. You don't spend a 114 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 1: billion dollars on payroll in the span of like a year. 115 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:31,479 Speaker 1: You don't install Japanese style toilets to come in second place. 116 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 1: And don't forget two private jets. Two private jet adds 117 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 1: some jabbroni who's a fanboy in the media, and he 118 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,840 Speaker 1: was getting upset. He's, oh, you shouldn't use the word coddle. 119 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: Every single Dodger player is coddled. They're the only professional 120 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 1: sports team. You think about the industrial complex of professional sports, 121 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,479 Speaker 1: with all the Major League Baseball teams, the Pro Football, 122 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:58,159 Speaker 1: the NBA, the NHL, all the industrial complex of sports, 123 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: the Dodgers are the only team to have two private 124 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: jets when they travel, one for the players, one for 125 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 1: the peasants. This isn't the sandblot. This is not a 126 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: feel good, pull yourself up from the bootstraps type story. 127 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:16,320 Speaker 1: This is baseball's version of the TV show Dynasty or Secession. Right. 128 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: It's all about the money, the image, the ego, all 129 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 1: that stuff. You've got a bunch of guys and they're talented. 130 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 1: Good for them. They're making a lot of money. But 131 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: let's not pretend this is some kind of upstart baseball team. 132 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 1: They're ridiculously rich. And I know if they win the 133 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 1: World Series, they're gonna talk about all the adversity that 134 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 1: they overcame. It's gonna make me want to puke in 135 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: my mouth. And they get paid to play a kids game. Great, wonderful, 136 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: Good for you. The stakes are high. The stakes are 137 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: high mainly because of the fear factor. Mainly because of 138 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 1: the old show that Joe Rogan was on. Fear Factor. 139 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 1: Don't screw this up. Do not screw this up. If 140 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: the Dodgers lose this game tonight, oh boy, they're not 141 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:56,239 Speaker 1: just getting second place, They're getting mocked into oblivion. Tight 142 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 1: Tukis syndrome is in play here. You can feel it. 143 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: Every guy and the Dodger dugout, gripping the bat like 144 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 1: it's a live grenade. And the ghost of playoff flops 145 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: of years gone by. And I'm going back to the 146 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 1: twenty seventeen season when the Astros cheated, twenty eighteen, when 147 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 1: they stumbled against the Red Sox, the ghosts of twenty 148 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:28,160 Speaker 1: twenty one, twenty twenty two, twenty twenty three, they're all back. Ohokie, Now, 149 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:31,320 Speaker 1: I know we've already gotten through the whole Halloween thing 150 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: that was yesterday. It's still Halloween weekend, even though it's 151 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 1: now in November. The postseason choke jobs are what I'm 152 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: all about, all right, We've seen it. We've seen it. 153 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,440 Speaker 1: It makes for great talk radio. And the Dodgers gotta 154 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: be careful. I gotta avoid that, right the panic swings. 155 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:50,439 Speaker 1: Dodgers certainly capable of a bullpen meltdown. That's the beauty 156 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:55,080 Speaker 1: of postseason baseball and Game seven. None of it here's 157 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 1: the only thing. None of it. None of it matters. 158 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 1: The stats don't matter, the salary doesn't matter, the home 159 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 1: field advantage doesn't matter. The fans screaming. Doesn't matter. The spreadsheets, 160 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:11,080 Speaker 1: the algorithms, the spin rates, the exit velocity, it doesn't matter. 161 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: It's all irrelevant. It's the men in black moment. You 162 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,360 Speaker 1: zap the memory stick, You zap the memory stick. All 163 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: that matters is this game, this night. That's it. Everything 164 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 1: else goes out the door. All of it is subterfuge, 165 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 1: all of it. It's all about tonight. And I love it. 166 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: I love it, I love it. I love it. Now 167 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 1: the matchup, at least at the start, we have sho 168 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:39,239 Speaker 1: Hey Otani versus Max Schurzer. It doesn't get more cinematic 169 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 1: than this. You've got the former Dodger Shuzer, God's gift 170 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: to baseball show Hey Otani, and Otani's gonna give you 171 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: what two or three innings tops, and then it's going 172 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: to be the conga line. The Dodgers will be calling 173 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,959 Speaker 1: in a bunch of arsonists from the bullpen, and we'll 174 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: see how this goes here. Dave Roberts and the Nerds 175 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,079 Speaker 1: planned to use what seven to eight guys by the 176 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,679 Speaker 1: fifth inning. That's usually how this goes. It's gonna look 177 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: like an airport runway out there with all the bullpen traffic. 178 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 1: Now Scherzer, who screwed the Dodgers over against the Atlanta 179 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: Braves when he was briefly a Dodger that was in 180 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 1: I believe was one if I remember correctly, when Schuzer 181 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 1: was supposed to pitch Game six and then tapped out, 182 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 1: then blamed Dave Roberts. The Dodgers baby to him. They 183 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,840 Speaker 1: coddled him too, and he still babied him. Said he 184 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 1: wasn't ready to pitch Game six, and so if they 185 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 1: lost it, he said, maybe I'll pitch Game seven. It 186 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: didn't work out. You know, Schurzer's got those crazy eyes. 187 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 1: He's got the glowing they're already going the different colors, 188 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 1: like he's walking out there as a volcano human volcano. 189 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 1: And the way I look at it in the Mallard 190 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: crystal Ball as a distant relative of Nostra donnis noster 191 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 1: demus and a friend of Nostra damas or vice versa. 192 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: It's early in the morning. Listen, he's either throwing no 193 00:10:56,679 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 1: hit ball or giving up six runs by the third inning. 194 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:03,440 Speaker 1: There's really know in between. That's what my late cousin 195 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: Nos deemus noster Thomas would say. I don't know about 196 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:11,319 Speaker 1: Nostra deems regardless, Make no mistake, this is a legacy game. 197 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 1: The Dodgers win, and they get the dynasty with the 198 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,520 Speaker 1: capital D. Back to back champs. Baby, They'll sell all 199 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: the merch, they erase, all the noise, all the flops, 200 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: Mookie Bets sucking for one hundred games this season, Blake 201 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: Snell being coddled, taking three months off, Tyler Glass now 202 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: also being away and not being available, and that Max 203 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 1: Munsey getting hurt going away. All this stuff and all 204 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: the overpaid channer goes away. Now, if you lose, these 205 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 1: guys will be treated like vermin. Vermin, just a collection 206 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 1: of rich, loud ballplayers who are irrelevant and frauds underachievers. 207 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: And you win, you're the twenty twenties version of the 208 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: nineties Yankees, with Jeter and Bernie Williams and Paul O'Neill 209 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 1: and all those guys. You're more like the nineties Mets, 210 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 1: minus the fun, minus the fun. Now tonight not about 211 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,800 Speaker 1: the long changel and launch angle. It's not about that, 212 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: although you'll probably hear a bunch about it. It's about Moxie. 213 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 1: Not my dog Moxie, the actual Moxie guts Ma Chiesmo. 214 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 1: It's about who tightens up, who chokes, and who shows 215 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,560 Speaker 1: up and everything else again, all of it, it doesn't matter. 216 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:29,319 Speaker 1: It's at first one to have the league get to 217 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 1: twenty seven outs. So buckle up, Buccaroo Game seven and 218 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 1: you can see off in the distance there on the horizon, 219 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:42,080 Speaker 1: Donkey Kong's barrel is rolling and somebody, somebody's going down 220 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 1: that ladder. Now turning the page on that. We assume 221 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 1: you heard the news by now from the NFL. You 222 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:53,480 Speaker 1: just knew someone was getting tossed overboard being excommunicated from 223 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 1: the Miami side of things. After the Ravens took the 224 00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:00,680 Speaker 1: Dolphins to the woodshed and the Dolphins got waxed, humiliated 225 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:05,840 Speaker 1: pants in their own house, and less than twenty four 226 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: hours later, Boom goes to the Dynamite Chris Greer. Chris Greer, 227 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 1: the GM they said, mutually parting ways. That's bull crap. 228 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 1: That's a polite way of saying. We asked him to leave, 229 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 1: and he said, okay, So we've agreed. We're changing the locks. 230 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 1: Nobody leaves those jobs. We're changing the locks, the gate codes. 231 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 1: Changing your past key won't work to get in the 232 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:34,439 Speaker 1: parking garage. You're cooked. Now. The timing on this is 233 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 1: why I'm not saying it's a wrong move. I would 234 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 1: make the move too. I would have gotten rid of 235 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: this guy a long time ago. The timing is wild, though. 236 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 1: If you look at your NFL textbook, you don't normally 237 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 1: fire the GM the week of the trade deadline. That's 238 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:52,040 Speaker 1: like deciding to replace the chef in the middle of 239 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: the dinner rush and everyone in the kitchen is screaming 240 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,199 Speaker 1: the soup's on fire. Over to the left, over to 241 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: the right, the main or d just quit. He's upset. 242 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 1: He wants to go do a podcast or something. And 243 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 1: you look at the Dolphins wide angle lens. This is 244 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 1: a country club operation. Everybody wears those white polos. They 245 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:15,120 Speaker 1: talk about the analytics side of things, and nobody wants 246 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 1: to get their hands dirty. They don't. It's been that 247 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: way for years. They're dysfunction. I said it on the 248 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,680 Speaker 1: monologue I did the other night during the week after 249 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: the game. I was like, the Dolphins are the Jets 250 00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 1: and the Browns with palm trees and better weather. It's dysfunction. 251 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 1: It's like a membership perk, the dysfunction. They've got tea 252 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:41,400 Speaker 1: times and Tiki drinks. Well, the roster just rots in 253 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 1: the South Beach sun. And they're not really running so 254 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 1: much an NFL franchise. It's like they're running the South 255 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 1: Florida resort. Welcome to Dolphin Bay Club. Please tip your 256 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,080 Speaker 1: quarterback on the way out. Now, speaking of the quarterback, 257 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 1: can you and I have a conversation here? Is it 258 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: fair to say that Tua all of this upheaval is 259 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 1: about to a tongue of b looa, isn't it? I 260 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: see you nine in your head over there. They went 261 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:12,520 Speaker 1: all in on him, They said, this is our guy, 262 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 1: this is our guy. It's kind of like going to 263 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: Santa Nita and betting all of your paycheck on a horse, 264 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 1: of course, and the horse was the wrong horse. You 265 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: bet on the wrong horse. The horse came to the 266 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 1: track and wanted to have a snack, not winning any races. Instead, 267 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: Let's get a lower mid tier plotter, no stallion at quarterback. 268 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: And Tua's not a bust. He is a functional, lower 269 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 1: level second tier quarterback. He's not a savior. Tua is 270 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: a wall, a beige wall. You don't hate a beige wall. 271 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 1: You don't. You don't form a really strong opinion about 272 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: a beige wall. You don't certainly post anything on social 273 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,880 Speaker 1: media about a beij wall, and it doesn't make your 274 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 1: day any better. And now the bills have come due, 275 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:12,080 Speaker 1: not the Buffalo bills. They poured champagne on mediocrity in 276 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: Miami for years and finally realize, at least for now, 277 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:19,400 Speaker 1: it's flat now. Some of you, some of you sent 278 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 1: me a clip of a story that our former Fox 279 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 1: Sports radio warning guy Steven A. Smith came out saying, 280 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 1: oh brother, He says, oh brother gets fired first. I 281 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 1: think that was his line. I think that I'm trying 282 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 1: to remember it off the top of my head, implying 283 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,080 Speaker 1: that the race card was played from the bottom of 284 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:40,440 Speaker 1: the deck. Now, in the pantheon of bad takes, this 285 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 1: has to be right near the top. The guy lasted 286 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:45,600 Speaker 1: ten freaking years as the GM in Miami. Ten years 287 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 1: is the GM in Miami? How many coaches did he 288 00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 1: go through? And stephen A's take as well, this is 289 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 1: like the playing the race card ten years. That's like 290 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 1: dog years in NFL. I that's seventy years. That's a lifetime. 291 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: And you had as many wins. I had as many 292 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,640 Speaker 1: wins as this guy had in the playoffs, zero Zippo squad, 293 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:11,359 Speaker 1: Doush Squad, Doush in Dolphin's years. He's Don Shula and 294 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 1: the Mayflower combined. And you know what happens next. Now 295 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 1: every team in the league starts calling Miami in the 296 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,640 Speaker 1: interim GM there, and it's like a yard seal, say, hey, 297 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:25,040 Speaker 1: what do you want for Jaden Wall Jalen Wadle? What 298 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 1: can we get for him? I need a backup left tackle. 299 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: Can I get half off on your offensive line? There 300 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 1: is a nibble here, a nibble there, a nibble everywhere. 301 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:40,160 Speaker 1: The vultures are circling over the three oh five right now. 302 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:45,000 Speaker 1: Then you have Mike McDaniel twisting in the wind, twisting 303 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:49,399 Speaker 1: in the wind. The guy's updating his resume, recording voice 304 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: demos for NPR coming up next on the Morning Espresso, 305 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,359 Speaker 1: Why your lante art says more about your feelings and 306 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 1: your phone. Now, his next job's going to involve something 307 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,600 Speaker 1: with oat milk. I don't know exactly what. Maybe he'll 308 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,879 Speaker 1: be serving it, maybe he'll be talking about it. It 309 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,080 Speaker 1: will not involve Tyreek Hill for Mike McDaniel, who has 310 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 1: been good for business, and I will be sad to 311 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:16,040 Speaker 1: see him go. He's goofy. He is in way over 312 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 1: his head. He's not well spoken. He's a bit of 313 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: a clown, which makes for great talk radio. Now, the 314 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 1: other thing here, it's the same story every decade for 315 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 1: the Dolphins. Like that. You have to be really old 316 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,160 Speaker 1: to remember when the Dolphins were good. The Dolphins are 317 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,880 Speaker 1: a luxury car that keeps breaking down because they're too 318 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 1: busy polishing the hood to fix the engine. Hello, Miami 319 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:47,240 Speaker 1: is where talented players go to tan not to win. 320 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 1: They need to borrow a case of suntan lotion from 321 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 1: Mike to Leprechaun and just tan not to win. They're 322 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: the four seasons of failure. Baby. They got great views 323 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:05,199 Speaker 1: and apps, terrible results. All right now, Danny, g's just 324 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,719 Speaker 1: give me this and he says, Beaniel, that's way too 325 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,919 Speaker 1: much sports. He said, you talked about the Dodgers and 326 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,960 Speaker 1: the Dolphins. Bad job by you put me in the 327 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 1: off at all. That's right, Danny, It is a bad 328 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: job by being So we're gonna turn the page here 329 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,439 Speaker 1: and I will I will go behind the scenes. As 330 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,359 Speaker 1: you know, the fifth hour, a lot of it is 331 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,359 Speaker 1: about stuff that is not sports related. I know this 332 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,679 Speaker 1: has been way too sporty. I apologize, so I'm going 333 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 1: to make up for it. It's story time on the 334 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: Ben Malor Podcast, a fifth hour podcast with Danny g 335 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: It's story time. So I've talked about this in the past. 336 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: Have you had those moments. We've all had those moments. 337 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 1: I've talked about them here on the show, in the 338 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 1: moment when you are reminded, in this case, that tech 339 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,399 Speaker 1: can be a wreck, an absolute wreck. Now, I'm not 340 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 1: a technophobe. I use tech all the time. I have 341 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 1: an Apple Watch, i have an iPhone. I'm on my 342 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:57,639 Speaker 1: laptop all the time. I have many fancy gadgets. But 343 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 1: every once in a while, when your fancy gadget and 344 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:05,160 Speaker 1: redundant systems, all those clever little conveniences of the modern 345 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 1: world that we all share, they gang up on you 346 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:13,679 Speaker 1: at once. Now. I had mine the other morning, deep 347 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:17,680 Speaker 1: into the overnight show, in that strange half alive, half 348 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:22,919 Speaker 1: asleep time when many North American night owls are still awake. 349 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 1: And then there's those people that are the early birds, 350 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,800 Speaker 1: not just the night owls, the early birds that get 351 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,359 Speaker 1: up early to get to work, and we do better. 352 00:20:31,359 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 1: It's wow. I tell people all the time, We actually 353 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 1: have more people listening the end of the show than 354 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,880 Speaker 1: we do the beginning because we were doing early morning drive, 355 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: that five am Eastern hour. It is pumping, right, But 356 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:42,920 Speaker 1: the rest of the world, not everyone gets up early. 357 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,239 Speaker 1: Most people don't, and not everyone stays up all night. 358 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 1: So the rest of the world's gone to bed. And 359 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 1: there I am, my fat ass in the remote broadcast studio, 360 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 1: the out post I call the Malor Mansion, and the 361 00:20:55,000 --> 00:21:00,720 Speaker 1: lights were low, the microphone was red hot, slaving away 362 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,439 Speaker 1: over a red hot microphone. The bells, the whistles, the 363 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:09,679 Speaker 1: sound effects, the orchestra, a cacophony of sounds, the overnight absurdity, 364 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,920 Speaker 1: all that all ready to go. We were working, I 365 00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: mean we were working. The show was humming along, the 366 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,480 Speaker 1: last live radio show of the week, three hours in. 367 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 1: Everything fine, not the greatest show, not the worst show. 368 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,639 Speaker 1: That's where you wanted, that sweet spot right in the middle, 369 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 1: and then with about and I'm I didn't jog down 370 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 1: the time. I was a little flustered, about thirty minutes 371 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 1: to go before the finish line. I made a fatal error. 372 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 1: Now at the time I did not realize it was 373 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,919 Speaker 1: a fatal er. What was my error. I reached for 374 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: my drink. Now, to me, this is a rather benign act. 375 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,119 Speaker 1: There's nothing exotic here, no monster energy. There was no 376 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: quadruple espresso from Starbucks, just ice water, like the rice 377 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: cake of beverages, the dull, guilt free elixir of the 378 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:01,159 Speaker 1: somewhat health conscious gas bag man. And so as I 379 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:06,199 Speaker 1: set the drink down somewhere in what was a very 380 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:11,639 Speaker 1: simple thing to do, Fate stepped in. What are you 381 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:12,320 Speaker 1: talking about? 382 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:12,479 Speaker 2: Like? 383 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 1: At that moment I put the drink down, I didn't 384 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 1: slam it down. I didn't. It wasn't like I was 385 00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,280 Speaker 1: trying to win a contest at the State Fair where 386 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 1: you got to bring the hammer of God down. So 387 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,760 Speaker 1: I put the thing down, and the screen in front 388 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 1: of me in the remote studio goes black, not dim, 389 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:32,160 Speaker 1: not flickering black. The monitor, the brains of my operation, 390 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,760 Speaker 1: the compass of the of the show. Prep you'll put 391 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,960 Speaker 1: everything up there. The bullet points had flat line, had 392 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 1: flat line. Now there's no you can't call nine to 393 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 1: one one because your monitor doesn't work. You can't. What 394 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 1: do you do? So here I was staring into the abyss, 395 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: and the abyss it turned out was HDMI static because 396 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 1: I kind of pushed the thing a little bit. And 397 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 1: now let me tell you something that there were two 398 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,639 Speaker 1: kinds of talk shows in the world. There's the Type A. 399 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:01,960 Speaker 1: The boy Scouts are broadcasting that copious amounts of preparation, 400 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 1: like they're writing the Magna cartera right, and they live 401 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 1: in the bullet points and preparation, and they over prepare, 402 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,400 Speaker 1: so instead of preparing for a four hour show, they're 403 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,920 Speaker 1: ready to do eight hours of talk radio. So that's 404 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,000 Speaker 1: the Type A. And then on the other side of 405 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,560 Speaker 1: the aisle you have the Type B. These are the 406 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 1: wild cards, often ex jocks, offen x jocks, and they 407 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:29,960 Speaker 1: throw through the They kind of float through life on 408 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,680 Speaker 1: charisma and resume and you know, I was a jock, 409 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 1: my opinion matters. And they often don't do any preparation. Uh, 410 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,920 Speaker 1: they just read maybe it's ESPN's website or whatever, it's 411 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 1: on the homepage, and that's it. Unfortunately, and I blame 412 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,880 Speaker 1: my parents with this. I'm I'm the first kund I'm 413 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 1: the Type A trapped in a Type B profession. And 414 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,840 Speaker 1: when the monitor went dark, I wasn't just flying blind. 415 00:23:54,160 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: I was naked. No notes, no rundowns, no cheat sheets, 416 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:04,719 Speaker 1: just a man a mic and the rising panic of 417 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 1: realizing that my brain had become a floppy disc. Okay, 418 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 1: And here's the thing about doing the job. And I've 419 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,160 Speaker 1: done it so long, it just blows me away how 420 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,080 Speaker 1: fast time has gone. I feel like I'm still just starting. 421 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:21,880 Speaker 1: But I've been here a long time, and for as 422 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,240 Speaker 1: long as I've done talk radio. At some point it 423 00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,280 Speaker 1: just becomes muscle memory, right, And it's one of those 424 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:30,479 Speaker 1: things you do it so long you can fake it 425 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,080 Speaker 1: till you make it. And so I did what I 426 00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 1: guess the professionals do. I just pretended everything was fine, 427 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,120 Speaker 1: the show must go on, and blah blah blah blah 428 00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah. Not one listener had any 429 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 1: clue that behind the scenes, I was in a full 430 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 1: blown sweat lodge, that the remote studio had turned into 431 00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:58,160 Speaker 1: a hot sauna, doing yoga anxiety sweat flop, sweat, stress, sweat, 432 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 1: the Holy Trinity. Now keep it in mind, I was 433 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,479 Speaker 1: fiddling with chords. I tapped the back of the monitor. 434 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 1: I give it the old Fonsi treatment. That's a dated reference. Nothing. 435 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 1: The lights were on in the studio, but no one 436 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: was home in HDMI land. So following the show, I 437 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,760 Speaker 1: made it through the last half hour or so of 438 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 1: the show, and when the show finally ended, I did 439 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: the old exhale like a man who had just survived 440 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,600 Speaker 1: a hostage situation. Then I had to do the post mortem. 441 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:32,639 Speaker 1: I do the autopsy, the cause of death. It turned 442 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:36,879 Speaker 1: out it was indeed one deceased HDMI cable. It had 443 00:25:36,920 --> 00:25:40,159 Speaker 1: crossed the pearly gates into that digital heaven. There was 444 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 1: no warning, there was no smoke, just gone, gone, gone, 445 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 1: a humble little chord, the unsung hero of the modern age. 446 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 1: It had connected my computer to the monitor through years 447 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 1: of Mallard monologus, cheating scandals, gambling scandals or meltdowns about 448 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:04,879 Speaker 1: Dave Roberts yapping about the Jets and the Browns and this, 449 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,600 Speaker 1: that and the other thing, and it had done its 450 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:12,400 Speaker 1: duty with pride, with honor. It had stayed very quiet, 451 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:15,840 Speaker 1: and now it had moved on. And that, my friend, 452 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 1: and you being a real p one by listening to 453 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:21,560 Speaker 1: this who listened to this podcast religiously, That is when 454 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:26,120 Speaker 1: I discovered a new law of being a mid middle 455 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:30,879 Speaker 1: aged broadcast guy. For every dead HDMI cable, there are 456 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 1: just one and only one. You know, the replacement is 457 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:39,800 Speaker 1: buried somewhere in your house. So of course what did 458 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,840 Speaker 1: I do? I went on what I can only describe 459 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 1: as a malar scavenger hunt. Now I know that your house. 460 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,439 Speaker 1: I don't know where you live. I don't, I mean, 461 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: you don't know really where I live, and if you do, 462 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,600 Speaker 1: you're a stocker. But every household has that junk drawer, 463 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,760 Speaker 1: and it gets bigger and bigger the older you get. 464 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,440 Speaker 1: You know, the one where you good intentions go to die. 465 00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,080 Speaker 1: You put the old remote in there, You put the 466 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 1: old keys, the expired batteries, the triple A card from 467 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:13,240 Speaker 1: seven just in case, your old wallets. You put screws, screwdrivers. 468 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: You have that lone Allen wrench from the thing you 469 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:22,400 Speaker 1: bought at Ikea. The bookshelf that you don't even own, 470 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:24,440 Speaker 1: the bookshelf you put that on offer up a couple 471 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: of years ago. So I went through the I went 472 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,159 Speaker 1: through the junk drawers, you know, things that I just 473 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 1: tossed aside, until finally, under a mass of mystery cables 474 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 1: and old keys and all that crap and takeout menus, 475 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:45,879 Speaker 1: there was my ex caliber A backup HDMI cable likely 476 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:52,639 Speaker 1: installed in that drawer during the Obama administration, and still 477 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 1: coiled neatly as if it was waiting for this day. 478 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,879 Speaker 1: It had been waiting, and here was its moment. It 479 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 1: would once again be called into service. And I took 480 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:07,800 Speaker 1: that HDMI cable and I walked down about a hallway, 481 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,639 Speaker 1: and then I went up some stairs, and I went 482 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 1: up some more stairs. I made a right turn, I 483 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 1: made another right, went down a long hallway, and then 484 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,560 Speaker 1: I had a fork in the road. I could go 485 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,200 Speaker 1: to the right or the left. I went to the left, 486 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,680 Speaker 1: and I walked into the remote studio, and that thing 487 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:25,439 Speaker 1: was called into service. I plugged it in. The screen 488 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,960 Speaker 1: blinked to life. The static was gone, and just like that, 489 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:34,520 Speaker 1: the prodigital monitor had returned. The monitor was back, Baby, 490 00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 1: it was back. So the thing about spare tires and 491 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 1: this was a spare HDMI cable. The thing about spirit 492 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:45,760 Speaker 1: tires and spare HDMI cables is that they're not solutions. 493 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:51,000 Speaker 1: They are a stoppage of the problem. There, stop gap bandage, whatever. 494 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:55,440 Speaker 1: There are symbols of survival, and this one, this one's 495 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,160 Speaker 1: already unborrowed time. So I'll make the pilgrimage at some point, 496 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,239 Speaker 1: maybe today, BEFO for the Dodger game. I'll go over 497 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 1: to Best Buy, maybe today, Or I'll surrender to the 498 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:12,360 Speaker 1: algorithm overlords of Amazon and order a replacement. And when 499 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: it arrives, I will coil the old one that saved 500 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: me neatly and return it to the resting place of 501 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,920 Speaker 1: the junk drawer, to light dormant until inevitably, sometime in 502 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,600 Speaker 1: twenty forty, history will repeat itself and I will have 503 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,680 Speaker 1: a similar problem. Because that's how this goes. Technology giveth, 504 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:35,000 Speaker 1: technology taketh away. You can prepare, you can plan, you 505 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 1: can organize and control every aspect of a network radio 506 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 1: show until the cable goes bad in your remote studio 507 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,480 Speaker 1: and the screen goes black and you're left there talking 508 00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 1: into the void, faking confidence in the darkness. And that 509 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 1: is when you realize the day the monitor died was 510 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 1: not a tragedy. It was a test. And on that 511 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:07,560 Speaker 1: day that happened Halloween morning, just yesterday, in that lonely 512 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:13,000 Speaker 1: radio outpost at the Malor Mansion, the show, somehow, against 513 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 1: all odds, did go on. It did yeah, And somewhere 514 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:22,000 Speaker 1: out there in the cosmos, the Great Don McLean is 515 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:27,200 Speaker 1: strumming a new version Don mcleans strumming a new version 516 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:30,440 Speaker 1: of American Pie. We're gonna call it Malarie Mallard Pie. 517 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 1: The day the monitor died, I started singing HDMI, My My, 518 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 1: Your life spans a lie, drove my show to the finish. 519 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:44,480 Speaker 1: Through my notes they went awry, good old boys and 520 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 1: the mallein Militia cry. This will be the day that 521 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 1: I fry. And that is bad, and only you heard 522 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:57,920 Speaker 1: it on this podcast. That's radio, one dead cable at 523 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,120 Speaker 1: a time. Have a great rest of your Saturday, enjoy 524 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 1: all the college football. Be sitting on my ass. I 525 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,040 Speaker 1: have plans to do nothing other than watch sports all day. 526 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,760 Speaker 1: And the cool thing about it is I don't have 527 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:12,120 Speaker 1: to do a full radio show. We will have full 528 00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 1: Game seven coverage Danny g and I win, lose or 529 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 1: that's those are the only options. Dodgers and Blue Jays 530 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 1: that'll be exclusive, exclusive on the Fifth Hour podcast that 531 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,440 Speaker 1: will not be available on the radio show. It will 532 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,239 Speaker 1: all be about the World Series and we'll do some 533 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:33,120 Speaker 1: mailback questions as well. So have a great Saturday. Thank 534 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:36,120 Speaker 1: you for listening, and remember Benny Versus the Penny is 535 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 1: available as well on the YouTube Benni Vspenny Benni Vspenny. 536 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:46,880 Speaker 1: You can check it out and we will catch you tomorrow. Aloha, 537 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:55,040 Speaker 1: our our our It was later skater Danny. Yeah, okay, 538 00:31:55,520 --> 00:32:01,480 Speaker 1: Danny's telling me I need to say Asta pasta who. Yeah, 539 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: that's the ticket. I was impressed by the size, but 540 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie Danny. That was a big cock Okay. 541 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 1: By Felicious