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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that wants to make the Winter

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Speaker 1: Olympics more fun to watch, where in curling, instead of

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Speaker 1: sliding heavy stones across the ice, they want.

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Speaker 2: You to slide chubby babies with tiny comets. Definitely tuning

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Speaker 2: in for that ice.

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Speaker 1: It's Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news

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Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except.

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Speaker 2: We've got a laser and those other tubby buppies just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first Lazer story is out of a fan favorite

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Speaker 1: Florida Yay. Thirty two year old man named Alexander Baker

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Speaker 1: Depew was feeling romantic, so he decided to buy a

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Speaker 1: bouquet of flowers and some chocolates for a dancer at

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Speaker 1: a local strip glove.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't like you, I'm just gonna tell you right now.

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Speaker 2: She's so happy every time I come in.

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Speaker 3: I know it feels that way.

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Speaker 2: She might like them.

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Speaker 1: After she found out the flowers and chocolates cost Alexander

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Speaker 1: two hundred and eighty eight dollars, I am so he's.

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Speaker 3: Just bad with his money too. Yeah, I'm gonna say

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Speaker 3: she'd rather have the cash.

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Speaker 1: Well continue, and he paid for them with counterfeit funny

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Speaker 1: money and that's actually smart.

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Speaker 3: Wow, he better not be tipping with that.

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Speaker 1: The bills had the word replica written on the guys

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Speaker 1: and said they were only to be used for motion pictures.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's TV money.

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Speaker 1: Still, the clerk accepted it anyway, and Alexander was on

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Speaker 1: his way.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Worked at a gas station once. I wouldn't have cared.

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Speaker 4: What it's a force, but yeah, I mean they're just

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Speaker 4: not looking like you're just like, wow, here take the flowers.

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Speaker 1: Well, then at the strip club he paid a bar

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Speaker 1: tab with the same movie money, and that's when the

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Speaker 1: bartender called the cops.

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Speaker 2: It gave him confidence everywhere.

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Speaker 1: The officer showed up and arrested at Alexander. They searched

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Speaker 1: him and found four hundred dollars more in counterfeit bills,

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Speaker 1: along with.

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Speaker 2: A host of illegal drugs.

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Speaker 1: He's facing multiple felonies, but before he goes to prison,

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Speaker 1: he just wants to know if Sapphire got his gift

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Speaker 1: that he left for her.

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Speaker 3: Think.

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Speaker 1: I think broke was right and away he instead of

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Speaker 1: getting the flowers, skip it and just give her the

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Speaker 1: five hundred counterfeit.

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Speaker 3: The counterfeit, that's.

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Speaker 1: The thought that counts This next laser story is out

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Speaker 1: of the gold medal galley.

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Speaker 2: Believe it or not. The Winter Olympics kick off in

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Speaker 2: Italy this Friday.

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Speaker 3: That's so crazy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're just days away.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 1: And a new poll asked more than nine thousand Americans

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Speaker 1: how amped are you and the general the excitement level

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Speaker 1: is yeah, kind of.

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Speaker 3: I gotta say, I kind of love the X Games.

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Speaker 4: I'm actually watched it, breaking record.

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Speaker 2: It's Lindsey van Is back.

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Speaker 1: I want to watch a forty year old hewn the slopes.

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Speaker 3: She just got lifted off. Not a good time.

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Speaker 1: Just put some braces on those legs, just fly down

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Speaker 1: the hill and I don't care if she comes in

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Speaker 1: last place. You love her?

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Speaker 2: I do love her.

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Speaker 3: I mean yes, I hope she heals us this year.

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Speaker 1: Only seven percent of people say they're going to tune

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Speaker 1: in every single day and rather yeah. Seventeen percent say

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Speaker 1: they they'll watch whenever they can yeah. Thirty three percent

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Speaker 1: said they'll probably watch a few events probably, and another

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Speaker 1: thirty percent say they are not planning on watching any

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Speaker 1: of them.

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Speaker 2: The major ones are fine.

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Speaker 4: I don't like figure skating is not hitting like it

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Speaker 4: used to, you know, like they used to be household

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Speaker 4: names it.

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Speaker 3: Where's Brian Boytano?

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Speaker 2: Now, yeah, we're just not winning.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's also we don't want to watch the events

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Speaker 1: if we don't win. Summer games are a little more

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Speaker 1: exciting sometimes men, you know everybody. Yeah, men are slightly

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Speaker 1: more excited than women, and older folks were more likely

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Speaker 1: to say they're going to watch it every day. Gen

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Speaker 1: Zers were most likely to say they'll tune in as

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Speaker 1: long as they can be on their devices at the

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Speaker 1: same time. That's why they need to create new competitions

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Speaker 1: like vaporings and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the the younger generation to be all make it

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Speaker 2: more exciting.

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Speaker 1: As for the opening ceremony next Friday, eighteen percent say

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Speaker 1: they will watch it live. Almost fifty percent of Americans

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Speaker 1: say they are going to pass on it.

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Speaker 4: They should have done a percent on how many watched

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Speaker 4: the heated rivalry guys bring out the torch.

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Speaker 3: Yes, that was a lie.

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Speaker 1: People, Yes, let's go to your next Lazer story out

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Speaker 1: of Streamerville.

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Speaker 2: Hey I live here.

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Speaker 1: Netflix has a new dating show coming in March where

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Speaker 1: things could get creepy fast.

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Speaker 3: It's called Goods says.

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Speaker 1: It's called Age of Attraction Age and contestants range anywhere

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Speaker 1: from twenty two to fifty nine years old. Nobody on

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Speaker 1: the show knows how old the other contestants really are.

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Speaker 4: I saw the trailer for this, Oh you did.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like pretty easy to get. Some who the

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Speaker 3: old people are say, there's not enough botox to.

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Speaker 2: Hide even when you have worked out. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The trailer that you probably watch spends a lot of

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Speaker 1: time on one particular cougar with a cub in a

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Speaker 1: relationship I think.

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Speaker 3: Is younger than her kid.

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Speaker 1: You want to think, I think Ashton hanging out with Alexis' mom.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't want to think about that's actually perfect.

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Speaker 2: We all ship that couple. By the way, bring light

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Speaker 2: to go get it.

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Speaker 1: But they also show a younger woman saying, quote, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if these guys are my age, my dad's age,

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Speaker 1: my grandpa's age.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting nervous. She's on chow Why would on the show?

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Speaker 4: But she gives a vibe ofp she actually doesn't care.

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Speaker 2: What I'm down.

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Speaker 1: Of course, we assume that everybody on the show is

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Speaker 1: a consenting adult, but for some reason, in the current climate,

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Speaker 1: I mean, do we really want to see the older

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Speaker 1: man younger woman dynamic play out here?

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Speaker 2: Again. You see that every day.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I think what they're hoping for is the

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Speaker 4: older woman, younger man dynamic.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they were pushing in the trailer.

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Speaker 2: Well, sure, if you're into it.

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Speaker 1: Age of Attraction premieres on Netflix on March eleventh.

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Speaker 2: Let's go to your final laser story out of complaint corner.

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Speaker 1: Over the past decade, Karen memes have flooded the internet,

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Speaker 1: and don't take my word for it, just ask the manager.

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Speaker 2: Wow, go, best segment we've done all day.

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Speaker 1: It's widely known that a Karen is filled with entitlement

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Speaker 1: and privilege, where any minor inconvenience turns into a full

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Speaker 1: on victimhood and there's bonus points if she has a blonde, choppy,

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Speaker 1: asymmetrical bob hair.

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Speaker 3: Dude, hey gosslin, I mean that's the look, right.

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Speaker 1: Some guys with similar characteristics have been called male Karens before,

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Speaker 1: but now social media experts are saying there's a new

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Speaker 1: label for them, and that label is Josh.

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Speaker 4: Josh as I know anymore, dude, it has to be Brad.

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Speaker 3: I thought it was everywhere Brad sucks.

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Speaker 1: They're saying Josh is the new one. So how do

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Speaker 1: you define a Josh. Here's a rundown.

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Speaker 2: He's apparently the bane of any white woman.

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Speaker 1: He's ever dated. If he's ever in an argument, he

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Speaker 1: will threaten to pull up a study to prove his point, right,

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Speaker 1: though he never actually will do that.

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Speaker 2: He'll just threaten that.

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Speaker 1: And if he doesn't already have a podcast, he's definitely

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Speaker 1: thinking about starting one.

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Speaker 2: So why the name Josh?

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Speaker 1: One reason might be that gen zers love poking fun

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Speaker 1: at millennials, and Josh is a really popular name for

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Speaker 1: millennial men who are traditionally white.

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Speaker 4: There's not one Josh that I can think of. It's

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Speaker 4: in my kids' school.

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Speaker 2: Interesting, well, so will it stick? Who knows one?

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Speaker 1: Josh, who wrote about the trend, said he's laughing about

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Speaker 1: it now, but he hopes it doesn't catch because he

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Speaker 1: knows how a name can affect your self confidence, especially

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Speaker 1: because his mom's name.

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Speaker 2: Is Karen, so he's seen it happen.

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Speaker 1: Actually, fun fact, this guy's middle name, it's enormous. I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure if that's Greek or Latin, or if he

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Speaker 1: just gave it to himself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, fitted personalities.

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Speaker 1: That sound means Laser Stories has come to an end

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Speaker 1: for the day.

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Speaker 2: We'll do it again same time on Wednesday,