1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,400 Speaker 1: This is how men think with brooks Like and Gavin 2 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: to Grab and I heard radio podcast. Welcome to the show. 3 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:10,799 Speaker 1: This is how men think podcast. My name is brooks 4 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: Like and I am a co host with my man allegend. 5 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: Hell of a co host, hell of a co host. 6 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 1: Thank you, buddy, Mr Gavin to Graw, Buddy, what's up, buddy. 7 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,960 Speaker 1: I enjoy co hosting with you. I always say co host. 8 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: I view you more like host, and I feel more 9 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 1: co hosting because I like how you lead in you 10 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 1: so sincere I just goof off all the time and 11 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: I really value your perspective. Well, I secretly I do 12 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: tell people that I hosted, but I'm happy to do that. 13 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,199 Speaker 1: I'm happy to do that. But publicly I say I 14 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: co hosted. But I think we're great, we company, we 15 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: have complimentary skills. My man, I feel that way, but 16 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 1: you did. I did listen to the one that I 17 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 1: wasn't there and you hosted it amazing and you were like, 18 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: he needs me now, he needs now. It actually surprises 19 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: because I'm like, I don't have to do all the 20 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: heavy lifting here like I always have to do. I can, Yes, 21 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 1: you do know you just play that way because you know, 22 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,039 Speaker 1: I'll do it. I like the way you do your 23 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: lifting because you exercise. So also here with us, Rick Dmitri, 24 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: what's up, good sirs, what's going on? We're not co 25 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 1: host We're more like the little brother that picked up 26 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 1: the other extension and just listening in on the conversation 27 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: and says things that is not true, that is absolutely 28 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:30,840 Speaker 1: not true. You guys are the senior We hang up, 29 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,039 Speaker 1: and hang up and run downstairs and tell mom, you 30 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: guys are the senior statesman of the podcasts. I agree 31 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,880 Speaker 1: with that. What do you mean? That's all I have 32 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 1: to the senior states don't. I don't like the term 33 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 1: senior though, because it makes it sound like they're old 34 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 1: and they're not old. Yeah, thank you. We actually we are. 35 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 1: We are the older ones. They're No. I do feel 36 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: relatively old. I mean I have some great hairs right here. 37 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: You great hairs? Doesn't look like man? Those? Yeah, I 38 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: don't know. Those. I'm gonna get the advice from the 39 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: wife clip. Those kind of get the advice. Okay, dude, 40 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: we have a super exciting topic today. I'm actually really 41 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: I propose this to Amy and Danielle, our producers. This 42 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:14,880 Speaker 1: was something that's been on my mind, well really my 43 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 1: whole life, but really on my mind. It's sort of 44 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 1: come to me, and I'm noticing it naturally organically coming 45 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,520 Speaker 1: to me more and more in the last month, to 46 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 1: the point where I wanted to have a conversation about it. 47 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: Why is the sky blue? Is that it is not yet? What? 48 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: I don't have the answer, but blue is my favorite color? 49 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,079 Speaker 1: Why are there white clouds the blue sky? Now we're 50 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: on it's not here is the topic, and I'm really 51 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:43,959 Speaker 1: looking forward to this, guys. Fatherhood, Yes, fatherhood. That is 52 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: the topic of today's podcast. It's been something awesome my 53 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: whole life. I mentioned this on the podcast before. I 54 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: believe my greatest destiny and desire in this world is 55 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: to be a loving husband and a father. And I 56 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 1: want to be a good father, a great father. I 57 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,640 Speaker 1: want to be an amazing father to my kids, and 58 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: I want to be an amazing, amazing husband to my wife. 59 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: And that's not saying I'm perfect, that's just saying those 60 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 1: are my desirables in life. That's the thing that I 61 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: value the most. And I've always known I wanted kids, 62 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 1: but I've always been like, I'm not ready for it. 63 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: It's not here yet. It's not the time of my 64 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: life yet. But now it's started to come to me 65 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: a little bit more. Where I'm looking at you know, 66 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: Gav We've talked about this a little bit. I'm looking 67 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 1: at fatherhood in a different way that I've never looked 68 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: at it before. So I want to do a podcast 69 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 1: on it. I like it. That's good. So you're thinking, 70 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 1: you're thinking, you maybe it may be time starting to 71 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: think about it. Yeah, for the first time. I always like, 72 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: for the first time, it's becoming possibly real, is it? 73 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 1: Because you see rick Ryan and myself, and you're like, 74 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: I want to be like those guys. I do you 75 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: and you and you and Ricky Ryan. So it's it's 76 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: very this podcast very timely because right now Ryan's actually 77 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: not with us because his wife is due any day, 78 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 1: any day with their second child. And that's a crazy 79 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: that's a crazy feeling to be moments at any moment, 80 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: you can all of a sudden have another child like 81 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 1: brought into this world. Like he has to plan all 82 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: these things. He's like, I can't go do the podcast 83 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: because it's too far away in l A traffic. I 84 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,279 Speaker 1: can't get back. Whatever it may be. That's pretty crazy 85 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:19,479 Speaker 1: when you have to work your life around the fact 86 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 1: that your child could come into this world at any moment, 87 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,480 Speaker 1: and you're like, I can go to the store, but 88 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 1: I can't go do this. I gotta be around just 89 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,040 Speaker 1: in case. And that's where he is right now. And 90 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: I think that's pretty cool. Can I ask you crazy question? 91 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: Wouldn't be the first throw a wrench in this? Okay, 92 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:38,559 Speaker 1: So you love your wife differently than you love your child? Correct? Yeah, 93 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: Second the child comes out, who do you love more? 94 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: Why is the competition? But oh, it's got to be competition. 95 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 1: So you just love him differently. It's it's a different 96 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,640 Speaker 1: kind of that's really interesting. One you love them equally, 97 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,120 Speaker 1: you can love them equally, but it's a different kind 98 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,159 Speaker 1: of love. So it's not even the same scale. So 99 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: because okay, let me touch on that. You guys both 100 00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 1: said that, I've never heard this concept before. How how 101 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: do you love your child differently than your wife? What 102 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: is like just unpacked up for me? For me, You're 103 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,679 Speaker 1: you're taking care of that that person, that child, whereas 104 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:15,280 Speaker 1: you are taking care of your wife. But but she's 105 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: like a part you fell in love with her, Like 106 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: there's there's a a love of trust, an attraction. Um 107 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 1: you know, like that's a different type of feeling or 108 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,239 Speaker 1: a different type of love than you have with your child. 109 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 1: Whereas your child you have a different type of love 110 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,480 Speaker 1: where you are actually bringing that person into the world 111 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 1: and your job is to make sure they're safe and 112 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,919 Speaker 1: then teach them sort of the ways of how life 113 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 1: should be. And they don't you think it is and 114 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: they have at the very beginning, sorry to me, at 115 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 1: the very beginning, they are absolutely helpless nothing. I mean 116 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 1: it's a little tiny. They rely on you for everything everything. 117 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,719 Speaker 1: I'll tell you what that is. That's something you thought 118 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 1: you were motivated by hockey and by that and win 119 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,040 Speaker 1: in a Stanley Cup. When you have a kid and 120 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: you realize that this child dependent on you and they're gonna, 121 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 1: they're gonna, they're surviving because of you, and they're learning 122 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 1: from you, and everything you do is is you know 123 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,800 Speaker 1: for them, that's that's a motivation, Like you've never felt that. 124 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 1: That's something you haven't felt in hockey or or anything 125 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: like that. So when you have a kid, what is 126 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 1: the most what is the most moving element of the 127 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:29,039 Speaker 1: hold on my calls? When you have a child, what 128 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: is the most moving element of the birth of the child, 129 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,239 Speaker 1: and not necessarily, not necessarily the physical birth of the child, 130 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:38,039 Speaker 1: but the existence of this new person. Is it that 131 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: it's it's in your image. Is it that you get 132 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 1: the opportunity to create a world possibly better than the 133 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: one you came into through this person? Is what? Is 134 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 1: there an overwhelming particular thing that supersedes all other sensations? Well, 135 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 1: to make it a little bit lighter, I was always 136 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: thought it was weird while I was in the hospital, 137 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 1: all that to drive a car you need to get 138 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 1: a permit, you need to take a test, and you 139 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 1: need to have a license to when you you can 140 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,599 Speaker 1: drink alcohol, you have to wait until you're a certain 141 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: age or you're eighteen. You're like to have a child, 142 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,280 Speaker 1: you don't need anything. You don't there's no license, you 143 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: don't have to take a test. So when I was 144 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: in the hospital with the baby, I was like, if 145 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: something happens, I don't know how to I mean, we 146 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 1: were reading books and learning how to do CPR and everything, 147 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: but like you're really like, what's what's next, you know, 148 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: And to me, I always kind of thought that was 149 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 1: funny or kind of strange. Um like I wish there 150 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:35,800 Speaker 1: was maybe there should be some sort of a test 151 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: that you have to take before you are allowed to 152 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 1: have a kid, but you don't, So just I agree 153 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: with that. The problem with that is, um, you don't 154 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 1: like you're never fully prepared to be a parent. Like 155 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: it's not like, Okay, I I know what I'm doing. 156 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 1: Now I can have a kid, and now everything is 157 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 1: gonna be fine. And it's actually my sister UM wrote 158 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: an article called Birth of a Parent, and she's were 159 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: actually writing the title birth of a Parent and she's 160 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 1: writing a she's writing a book to it, because she 161 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 1: said she didn't realize, you know, she just dropped her 162 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 1: oldest son off of college, and she said when she 163 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 1: left him and he went about it, all of a sudden, 164 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 1: she felt like there's there's this whole chapter and she 165 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 1: realized that when you give birth, or when you know, 166 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 1: when you become a parent, everything is about the kid. 167 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,760 Speaker 1: All these books about what to do, but it's like 168 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: you don't know how to handle this because you've never 169 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:24,480 Speaker 1: done it before. And there's all these things in life 170 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 1: that you figure out as you go. And I think 171 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 1: the problem with that, I agree with too many people 172 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: can possibly like it's I know you're saying it's funny 173 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: you can drive. You have to pass the test to 174 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,959 Speaker 1: have an automble bill. But the thing is you're you're 175 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: never fully prepared to be a parent because you're learning 176 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 1: as you go and and once you have a kid, 177 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 1: it's not like, Okay, that's it, I got my license, 178 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 1: because as each thing happens, you're going to change and 179 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: adapt to life along with them differently because you're both 180 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,680 Speaker 1: learning different things. But you're gonna realize a lot of 181 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: things when when you have a child that you didn't realize, 182 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,439 Speaker 1: that you never thought you'd even think about. And it's 183 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,199 Speaker 1: not like when you if you had a boy, it's 184 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: like a little clone of yourself, you know, Like I mean, 185 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:07,199 Speaker 1: you you think that, but there could be completely different 186 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 1: from what you want or expect or trying to whatever 187 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: influence in a certain way. So okay, so I have 188 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,280 Speaker 1: a question. Let's go back to the beginning of this. 189 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 1: So I'm starting to feel to actually feel drawn towards fatherhood. 190 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: I'm looking at that real seriously, what does that look 191 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 1: like like? Am I? Am I Gavil? We've talked about this. 192 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 1: Am I a good enough person? Have I done enough 193 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: work and personal development to be able to be a 194 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: good enough resource to bring a life into this world. 195 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 1: And I don't know if you're ever nobody who's ever 196 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,320 Speaker 1: ready or qualify whatever that, but am I do? I 197 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: feel that I'm confident enough to become a father in 198 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,080 Speaker 1: your general because you guys have kids. Rick you have 199 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,080 Speaker 1: two kids, Dmetr you have four. Ryan's about to have 200 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: his second. How did you, guys, before you were fathers 201 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 1: the first time? Were you at a stage in life 202 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,560 Speaker 1: because a lot of our community is probably in this 203 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,680 Speaker 1: area where they're looking at kids. Um, were you ready? 204 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 1: Did that feel ready? Were you never ready? Like? How 205 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 1: did the transition to becoming parents come for you? We 206 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,680 Speaker 1: were talk about it with my wife and I had 207 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,640 Speaker 1: talked about it, and we're like, Okay, we're at the 208 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: point in our in our lives and our marriage where 209 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 1: we're we're ready to have kids at this point. How 210 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:27,439 Speaker 1: long have you been married? We had been married. Um, well, 211 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:30,959 Speaker 1: I'm blinking, Okay, we've been married four years? Okay, Um? 212 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,800 Speaker 1: And we were like, so, I guess between three and 213 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,959 Speaker 1: four because I think she was born. My daughter was 214 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 1: born around the fourth year, but so it was around 215 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,679 Speaker 1: the time, and we thought, okay, we were ready. Okay, 216 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 1: we think we're ready. This is what this is the 217 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,199 Speaker 1: next step we want to take. So we did and 218 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 1: then um did everything that you normally do. You learn 219 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 1: what you learn, you go to the classes and you 220 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 1: think okay, and then man, when when my daughter was born, 221 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,959 Speaker 1: there was a terrifying moment because all of a sudden 222 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: you're like, well, there's no margin for error, like I 223 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 1: can't screw this up. Um. But but that's what I'm saying. 224 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,280 Speaker 1: But you learn, you know as you go, and and 225 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: I'll be honest, I feel like my my first daughter, 226 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: I feel like she almost knew that we were first 227 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 1: time parents. And I think I think the first time 228 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:17,559 Speaker 1: first kids. I think they you guys, She's like, why 229 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:19,079 Speaker 1: don't you guys take an app I'll drop a deuce 230 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 1: in a little while after you get up. But it 231 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 1: was like she I think she she knew, and she 232 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 1: took it easy on it because we were learning and 233 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 1: and those things that you're terrified about. There were some 234 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: moments where we're like, holy crap, but it just it 235 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,160 Speaker 1: just worked out. Rick. What about you did did you 236 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 1: talk about with your spouse? Was there a moment in 237 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 1: your life. Were always ready to be a dad? Were 238 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 1: you never ready to be a dad? Yeah? I don't 239 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: know if I was. If we were always ready to be, 240 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:42,679 Speaker 1: you know, to be a dad, you know. I think 241 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 1: there definitely was a time when I hit I was 242 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: thirty two when I had my first kid, But my 243 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,200 Speaker 1: wife and I were married for four years before we 244 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 1: had our first son, um, and it was I think 245 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: those are conversations that we had before we even got married, 246 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 1: you know, like when you're dating and you're hanging out 247 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,640 Speaker 1: with that person. It was like, hey, you know, I 248 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 1: want to have kids. Like my dad, I was a pediatrician, 249 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:06,199 Speaker 1: so we were always he was awesome, awesome in taking 250 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 1: care of us, but also in a bunch of other 251 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 1: people within the community. Um, and so it was a 252 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 1: very I always just always had this kind of inclination 253 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 1: of like how to raise kids in my my upbringing, 254 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,680 Speaker 1: and so I was always excited to have a child. 255 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,120 Speaker 1: I don't know if you're ever ready. I think Dmitri's 256 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,240 Speaker 1: point is once you actually take the child home and 257 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 1: then they're a little baby, you're like, what do we 258 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,480 Speaker 1: do now? And you start kind of figuring it out. 259 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:36,080 Speaker 1: But um, we were excited and yeah, we were we 260 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 1: were ready. I mean we were, Um, I think we 261 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 1: were about thirty, about four years before or after we 262 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 1: were married when we had a kid. Yeah. Do you 263 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:47,840 Speaker 1: think in your life you want kids? No doubt. You know, 264 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:53,520 Speaker 1: it's funny because I have a dog, only a dog. 265 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 1: I didn't want a dog. I found a dog, and 266 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 1: uh where he found you, he found me. And my 267 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:03,480 Speaker 1: life is way richer with my dog, you know what 268 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 1: I mean than it was without my dog. Um. I 269 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: can't imagine how much more fulfilling it would be to 270 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 1: have a person, you know, like my own kid, and 271 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,600 Speaker 1: that would be pretty awesome. So yeah, I'm feeling that. 272 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: Do you have any idea how many do you think 273 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: you'd want? Um? Have you given that any? All of 274 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:31,679 Speaker 1: the babies? You are difficult? I think you know, when 275 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: you see families that have a lot of kids, it 276 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,680 Speaker 1: seems now this is just just me not knowing anything 277 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 1: about it. Um, it seems like it would be easier 278 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: the second once you have kind of more of them, 279 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 1: because they sort of help you raise the other ones. 280 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? You know, it's one 281 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,560 Speaker 1: thing to have one or two, it's another thing to 282 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 1: have like five. Well, now you've got an oldest kid 283 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 1: who's helping with the chores and helping with this and 284 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 1: that with the other kids. I mean, it's sort of 285 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: so it may sound silly, but no, I was the 286 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 1: last you're raising your your raising helpers, you know, Brooks. 287 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,520 Speaker 1: Let me ask you, what's your biggest not concerned, but 288 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:17,959 Speaker 1: what's your biggest kind of nerve racking moment of entering 289 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:22,160 Speaker 1: fatherhood or thinking about entering fatherhood. So my whole life 290 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 1: I you guys know this as a professional hockey player. 291 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 1: So I wanted to be able to commit fully to 292 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 1: that and in doing that through a large part, basically 293 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: through my twenties, my entire twenties, I didn't have any 294 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 1: sort of personal life, had no connection, had no personal 295 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,480 Speaker 1: life really. UM. And I knew that that would or 296 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: I'd hope that that would come later down the line. 297 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 1: And I always told myself i'd probably be I figured 298 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:48,400 Speaker 1: i'd be thirty five before i'd have kids. Um. At 299 00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,280 Speaker 1: thirty five, you're on the tail end of your career 300 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 1: most likely. UM. And I wanted to have enough space 301 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 1: in my life to devote that space to being the 302 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: type of father that I wanted to be. So I 303 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 1: didn't think I could do that in my twenties while 304 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 1: I was devoting all this time to hockey, which is 305 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 1: what selfishly full transparency, selfishly I fully wanted to do. 306 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 1: I needed to do that for myself. And so now 307 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: that I'm thirty six, um, I feel I do have 308 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 1: the space in my life. But now it's it's also 309 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 1: a new time for me. Now I'm not an athlete, 310 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 1: I'm not playing hockey, So what does life look like now? 311 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: There's still a uh figuring out process of a new 312 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:34,479 Speaker 1: identity for myself and also with my wife, like our relationship, 313 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,960 Speaker 1: it's a new ideentity for our relationship as well. Um, 314 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: what's my biggest fear? I don't know, just just bringing 315 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 1: a life into this world. And I'm also really curious 316 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: to like I know there's gonna be an immense amount 317 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 1: of blessings. Like I played with teammates, had guys come 318 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: to the rink, some of the toughest guys I've ever 319 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: known in the world come to the rink and they 320 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 1: tell you the story about when their daughter was born yesterday, 321 00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 1: and they break down crying because it's there, like your 322 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:04,640 Speaker 1: life change is the moment that life is born and like, man, 323 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 1: I believe have massive hearts like they just do and 324 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: I've seen it, um, and my my concern is just like, 325 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 1: are we together ready to bring a life into this world? 326 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 1: There's no going backwards from this, there's no going backwards 327 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 1: from this. Are we ready to bring this life into 328 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 1: the world? And then a question that I do have 329 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,400 Speaker 1: is that we talk about the blessings all the time, 330 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:31,480 Speaker 1: but what what is life individually for myself, for my 331 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: wife and our relationship look like when we have this kid? 332 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,880 Speaker 1: And it's a question I what, like what is it? 333 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 1: It's not it's not a negative, like what does having 334 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 1: a kid cost you? Like I haven't explored that. I 335 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,280 Speaker 1: know it's gonna give me blessings, But what things are 336 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 1: am I gonna sacrifice or lose in our in my 337 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,200 Speaker 1: life and my relationship? That's what I want to ask you. Guys. 338 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: You're gonna lose about forty five minutes of squats, that's 339 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 1: what you and still be in better shape than the 340 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: rest of Yeah, you're gonna cry so steep like like sleep. 341 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 1: Everybody says you're gonna get used to not sleeping, Like 342 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,360 Speaker 1: is that you know what? That's that's the biggest thing 343 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 1: that people say, and to me it is a big deal. 344 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,679 Speaker 1: But I think it's become such an overblown thing. You 345 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 1: adapt to it. Look, I mean, I don't know what 346 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: you you know what you sleep now, but it's like 347 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,440 Speaker 1: that's the thing that everyone always goes to get ready 348 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,880 Speaker 1: to get used to not sleeping. It's like, yeah, but 349 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 1: you you adapt to it. Like, I know sleep is important, 350 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 1: We've talked about that. But that to me, like, it's fine. 351 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 1: You your life is going to change. But the fact 352 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,159 Speaker 1: is that if your wife and you are both on 353 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 1: that same page and you're like, we're taking this step together, 354 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 1: it's gonna be fine. Like, yeah, your life is gonna change. 355 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: You're not gonna go out on any random night all 356 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,879 Speaker 1: the time. You're not gonna maybe you'll who you hang 357 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 1: out with, you'll have different things in common, so you 358 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:48,680 Speaker 1: might adapt more to a different group. Your life will 359 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,280 Speaker 1: change like that. But it's not because you're being forced 360 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,120 Speaker 1: to you. You having this discussion alone means that you're 361 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 1: processing this and so you'll you will be ready when 362 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,199 Speaker 1: that happens, and you will be You will accept that 363 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,200 Speaker 1: whatever your life is that you make it, there's no rules. 364 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: It's not like, oh, you're you have a kid, you 365 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: go out one night a month, that's not it. You'll 366 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,440 Speaker 1: make it work. It depends on your support system, if 367 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:12,080 Speaker 1: you have family in town or whatever. So that's that's all. 368 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: The other thing I was gonna say is you want 369 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,640 Speaker 1: to sacrifice whatever you can for that child. So you're 370 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 1: willing to sacrifice sleep, You're willing to give up your 371 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 1: night out, you're willing to get because you want to 372 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,760 Speaker 1: be with that child or you want to that. I mean, 373 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,560 Speaker 1: it's your job to raise that child, and you want 374 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: to be with him. You know, it's not like you're 375 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 1: just they're not You're just not a worker, like you're 376 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 1: there because you want to be with him. Can I 377 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 1: simplify it. I don't go out most of the time 378 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,640 Speaker 1: anymore because I like hanging out at the house with 379 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:46,479 Speaker 1: my dog. Yeah that's really weird. I imagine if you 380 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 1: have a kid, your own kid, You're like, yeah, I'm 381 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 1: not going out and I love hanging out with my kids. 382 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,199 Speaker 1: Maybe for sure what I made you just want to 383 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 1: be at the house with your with your kid. Can 384 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 1: I tell you a story on this and my dog 385 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:03,679 Speaker 1: we don't even talk. You know, it's commands zero. Can 386 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 1: I tell you a cool story. This just happened. So 387 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:11,200 Speaker 1: Dmitri and I just had lunch downstairs, and Dmitri was 388 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 1: telling me a story because we were talking about this 389 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,240 Speaker 1: Fatherhood podcast, and Demitri is telling me the story how 390 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: the other morning was super chaotic, super chaotic, whatever is 391 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,119 Speaker 1: going on at the house whenever he's like, I just 392 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,880 Speaker 1: gotta get these kids to school and drop them off 393 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,119 Speaker 1: and then I can be alone for a second. And 394 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 1: he said when he was dropping his kids off at school, 395 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,400 Speaker 1: he just had a thought like he's I'm gonna miss 396 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 1: my kids. I'm not going to see them for a 397 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,240 Speaker 1: couple of hours and that's a routine day of school. 398 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 1: And I look up to that in respect. That so 399 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 1: that he dropped his kids off at school and he 400 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 1: loves them so much that he's like, I don't even 401 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,960 Speaker 1: want you to go because I'm gonna miss you that much. 402 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 1: That I told you that in confidence. I'm kidding, but 403 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 1: that's I love that man, like I love that I have. 404 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,919 Speaker 1: I have more respect for that than anything else. And 405 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 1: that's the thing. It's like, you're working your tail off 406 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,880 Speaker 1: in the morning, trying to get four kids out the door, 407 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 1: and it's you probably had like maybe a half a 408 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,560 Speaker 1: cup of coffee. But at the second you drop them off, 409 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,720 Speaker 1: you're like, dang, I want to be with them. Yeah, 410 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 1: that's how That's the love that we were talking about 411 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 1: at the beginning, and that's exactly what happened. It was 412 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,160 Speaker 1: I was like I gotta get I just gotta get 413 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,120 Speaker 1: them there. And it's literally as I'm pulling away from 414 00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:13,400 Speaker 1: schools like, man, like I missed someone, like I want 415 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 1: to have to wait a few hours to see him again. 416 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 1: And I thought, man, why, like why was I so 417 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,720 Speaker 1: concerned with like getting him there by eight twenty or 418 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,000 Speaker 1: this and that. It's like and I had a flash 419 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,640 Speaker 1: to an overall picture of life and I was like, man, 420 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,359 Speaker 1: I bet you there's people that are like why did 421 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,480 Speaker 1: I rush through all these years? Now? My kids graduating 422 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: high school? Like where did that time go? And that's 423 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,120 Speaker 1: the other thing is I feel like there's different stages 424 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,439 Speaker 1: that are both good and bad. You know, at the beginning, 425 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,440 Speaker 1: you're not getting sleeve because they're a little baby. They're 426 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,680 Speaker 1: waking up every two hours to get fed, and you're like, oh, 427 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 1: this sucks. And you know, I think there's other challenges 428 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 1: at different stages of their life. You know, obviously there's 429 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,920 Speaker 1: the walking and then then falling, and then riding a 430 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,359 Speaker 1: bike and they're falling and you know, skin knees and whatever. 431 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 1: Then they get older in their teenage years, and then 432 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 1: it's they're falling they you know, in their teenage years. 433 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: And then it's you know, puberty and girlfriends and boyfriends, 434 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 1: and then it's like they're driving a car, and like, 435 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 1: to me, those are bigger problems than waking up every 436 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 1: two hours and feed your baby. Like that's when to me, 437 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 1: life becomes serious. It's like, okay, yeah, am I gonna 438 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,479 Speaker 1: let my son, who just got his driver's lice in sixteen, 439 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:17,680 Speaker 1: drive to San Francisco and drive over the Golden Gate 440 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 1: Bridge And you know, like that's scary to me right now. 441 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:22,880 Speaker 1: I mean at the time, it won't be. I'll be like, yeah, 442 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: hear the keys, get a hell out of here. Um, 443 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: I want to dig more into this. I appreciate your 444 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 1: guys insight on this. We need to take quick break 445 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: and we'll be right there back from break. This is 446 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,680 Speaker 1: how men think. I am Brooks like, and we're here 447 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 1: with Gavin Rick Dmitri and Ryan is expecting the birth 448 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:50,120 Speaker 1: of his second boy, I believe, which I understand he's 449 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:55,919 Speaker 1: naming Brooks. I don't think he'll probably not. But just 450 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,440 Speaker 1: before break, Rick, you had touched on like different stages 451 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,399 Speaker 1: of life. Um And one thing that just popped in 452 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 1: my brain overbreak was I remember asking my dad my 453 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: dad took us, My parents took us camping and fishing 454 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,680 Speaker 1: all the time growing up, and it's left an imprint 455 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,679 Speaker 1: on our hearts with so many memories from it. My 456 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,399 Speaker 1: brother and sister and I all to this day camp 457 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,440 Speaker 1: fish like we love the outdoors because of our childhood 458 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,160 Speaker 1: and that our parents shared with it. And I asked 459 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,879 Speaker 1: my dad the one time. I was like, you're in 460 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,439 Speaker 1: the boat with three kids under the age of nine 461 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,640 Speaker 1: or seven, whatever it is, and you're baiting hooks left, 462 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,240 Speaker 1: right and center because we're catching fish and baits fallen off. 463 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 1: And I was like, did you ever get annoyed with that? 464 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 1: Like that you didn't get to fish? And he goes, No, Brooks, 465 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,320 Speaker 1: you know what's the most honest thing I can tell you, 466 00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:41,760 Speaker 1: He goes, I knew it was a stage of life 467 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:45,720 Speaker 1: and I'd never be here again. You you guys would 468 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,119 Speaker 1: eventually grow up where you could bait your own hooks, 469 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 1: take your own fish off, and you would never need 470 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,760 Speaker 1: me to do that again. And I always remember that 471 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:59,040 Speaker 1: how appreciative he was of stages of life that you 472 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,879 Speaker 1: talk about like a kid in a diaper, Like changing 473 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,960 Speaker 1: a diaper could be a sure that you might hate, 474 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 1: but that kids maybe you guys are like, no, you 475 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,640 Speaker 1: haven't changed a diaper yet. That is a stage you're 476 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,520 Speaker 1: dying to get out of. But a little bit just 477 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,640 Speaker 1: a life. Can you guys talk about stages of life 478 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:14,440 Speaker 1: as your kids are now a little bit older, you've 479 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,159 Speaker 1: been through a couple of stages, like what does that 480 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: look like? That's a that's a pretty great story that that, 481 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: because I'm sure that happens a lot. But the fact 482 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,640 Speaker 1: that you went and asked him about it and then 483 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,840 Speaker 1: he responded, no, it's fine. You know it's fine, because 484 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,640 Speaker 1: this is like I don't think a lot of people 485 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 1: get to see that part of it, even though it 486 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 1: probably happens a lot. I know there's a lot of 487 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:36,160 Speaker 1: stuff that that I think that I do for my kids, 488 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,160 Speaker 1: and it's like, sometimes it's all right just to sit back. 489 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,879 Speaker 1: It could be my favorite thing in the world. But 490 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,439 Speaker 1: seeing them do it, even if I don't get the 491 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 1: partice space pretty great. I went to My daughter started 492 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 1: playing fifth grade basketball the other day, and she's been 493 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,360 Speaker 1: playing soccer and stuff like that, but she never wanted 494 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 1: to play basketball. Basketball was my favorite sport. And I 495 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,399 Speaker 1: went there and I walked in and I saw her 496 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,439 Speaker 1: and I just a few minutes before pickup, and I 497 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:59,639 Speaker 1: just watched her play, and man, it was so weird 498 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,920 Speaker 1: to have emotions watching her play a sport that I loved. 499 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 1: But it's like because I used to love playing it, 500 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,000 Speaker 1: but it was like just there was something about it, 501 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 1: just this is your kid and they're doing something that 502 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,439 Speaker 1: you know brought you great joy, and it's like and 503 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 1: you're seeing them, You're like, that's that's pretty amazing. So 504 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,880 Speaker 1: I understand that when he when he says I didn't 505 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,400 Speaker 1: mind not doing it because you know that's something that's 506 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,480 Speaker 1: not going to come back, and you can to help 507 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 1: kids do something is pretty great. Yeah. And I think 508 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,800 Speaker 1: a little different side of that Brooks is is like 509 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,639 Speaker 1: I've taken my kids out fishing and We've sat on 510 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 1: a boat and I've baited the hooks and I've done 511 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:34,959 Speaker 1: all that stuff. And I think it's also kind of 512 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 1: there's a test to it, you know a little bit, 513 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,920 Speaker 1: so like teaching them how to do it and then 514 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 1: seeing if they can do it themselves, but also watching 515 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,919 Speaker 1: them do it, like you're teaching them how to do 516 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 1: it properly in theory. So and then they're like a 517 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,199 Speaker 1: lot of times the kids like no, no no, no, I 518 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,639 Speaker 1: know how to do it. I got it, you know, 519 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:53,520 Speaker 1: especially like a thirteen year old, So Dad, get out 520 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:54,879 Speaker 1: of the way. You know, I know how to do this, 521 00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:57,760 Speaker 1: and you're like, okay, go ahead. So like part of 522 00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:59,520 Speaker 1: it's also like kind of throwing him out there and 523 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: letting him fail, yeah, and being like nice, nice fishy 524 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 1: cut buddy, you know, and you know you wouldn't be 525 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 1: so snarky about it. But it's also like letting them 526 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:13,760 Speaker 1: go through that that learning path or lack thereof to 527 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 1: actually then turn around and be like Dad, you know that, 528 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,160 Speaker 1: not that I tied that, knot that you showed me 529 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 1: like that to me. Hits the heart and that's what 530 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:25,320 Speaker 1: I that's what I love. It's um, this is completely different, 531 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,000 Speaker 1: and it's just the world I live in. So we 532 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 1: have we have a not quite two year old husky dog, 533 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,080 Speaker 1: and our dog trainer gave me some great advice. She's like, 534 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:39,199 Speaker 1: you don't want his obedience, you want his devotion. You 535 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,040 Speaker 1: don't want him to just follow commands, because then he 536 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,199 Speaker 1: can't think for himself. And so with our dog. And 537 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 1: that's one thing I've been thinking about a lot lately, 538 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,439 Speaker 1: is like I get to teach this young mind. If 539 00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,880 Speaker 1: I have a child, I get to teach this young 540 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,800 Speaker 1: mind the world. Like they need to learn to say 541 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,760 Speaker 1: please and thank you. They don't know that, like we 542 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: know that parents taught us that, or or um just 543 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,160 Speaker 1: like what a dog is, or show them the ocean 544 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 1: for the first time or anything like that. Like I 545 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:11,359 Speaker 1: get to share the world and expose this mind to 546 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 1: the world. And that's something that's been on my brain 547 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,200 Speaker 1: a lot. But I also want to let them think. 548 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 1: I want to like expose them to things. And one 549 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,200 Speaker 1: of the that's I think one of the things I'm 550 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 1: most excited about is exposing this new child to things 551 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 1: in the world and watching how they perceive it, and 552 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,480 Speaker 1: then making the child listen to how men think and 553 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,439 Speaker 1: no to be honestly, and they won't say thank you, 554 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: and they won't there'll be times where they will not 555 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:39,840 Speaker 1: say please, and you're like, oh, right, it's wrong with you, 556 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 1: you know, like I taught you that, you know, or 557 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,199 Speaker 1: mom did, or you know you need to you know. 558 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:48,280 Speaker 1: And it's the times where you're not there and your 559 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 1: friend comes up to you, you know, and he's like, hey, 560 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,800 Speaker 1: you know what your son he was awesome today, Like 561 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,679 Speaker 1: he shook my hand. He was a firm handshake. He 562 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 1: was so sweet. He said please, he said thank you. 563 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,160 Speaker 1: And it's like when you're not there that's the part 564 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 1: that really touches me where it's like, dude, yeah, like 565 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,600 Speaker 1: you've we taught him right for we're We're I was 566 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:09,560 Speaker 1: just at a family reunion. My mom and dad just 567 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:13,160 Speaker 1: celebrated the wedding anniversary and I sat down with my 568 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 1: sister and brother in law and their three kids. My 569 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 1: nieces are my niece and twin nephews Callie, Alex and Raett. 570 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 1: And they ordered their meal. They're like, I'd like the 571 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 1: chicken fingers, please and thank you. And the next one said, 572 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,680 Speaker 1: I'd like the blah blah blah please and thank you, 573 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,479 Speaker 1: and the next one all three of them said, and 574 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 1: I was just like wow, like your kids are I 575 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:36,720 Speaker 1: was so impressive, Like you clearly that's a taught behavior. 576 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 1: And their kids at a restaurant at a public place 577 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 1: new to be polite, and all three of them said 578 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,359 Speaker 1: please and thank you. That is great, beautiful. I was 579 00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,280 Speaker 1: blown away. What's it like when you what's it like 580 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 1: when you share something like that or you teach your 581 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,040 Speaker 1: kids something like that? Like you just touched on it, Rick, 582 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 1: But like, what are some of your favorite things that 583 00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:56,960 Speaker 1: you guys have personally shared or taught your kids. For 584 00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,080 Speaker 1: my dad and I, it was hockey and fishing. Those 585 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 1: were two things we really bonded over, really bonded over. 586 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:07,399 Speaker 1: We're hockey and fishing. I mean, I don't know, especially 587 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,920 Speaker 1: with four kids, I think there's a lot of different things. Yeah, 588 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,600 Speaker 1: it does. I mean, it's just but that restaurant example 589 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,200 Speaker 1: was was was good and it's like when my kids 590 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,199 Speaker 1: are polite when we got One day, we got an 591 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,080 Speaker 1: email from the teacher at school and she said, listen, 592 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:24,439 Speaker 1: I just want to let you know that, um, your 593 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 1: daughter did something that we, myself and the other teacher 594 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,560 Speaker 1: deemed was exceptional. She noted, we have a little time 595 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 1: where we go round in a circle and we say 596 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:35,199 Speaker 1: something whatever you're thinking, And she said she noticed that 597 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 1: there was another student who had been a little whatever, 598 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:39,840 Speaker 1: and he had made at some point he made a 599 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,680 Speaker 1: point that he wanted to be better about something with himself, 600 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 1: maybe was talking when he's not supposed to or something that, 601 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 1: and she took her turn to say, Hey, I just 602 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 1: want to say that I noticed that you did that, 603 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,520 Speaker 1: that you're that you're making an effort to do that 604 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:55,760 Speaker 1: and that it's working. I just wanted to give you 605 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,680 Speaker 1: a little you know, support for that, that that's noticeable. 606 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: And so they were like the act that this this 607 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 1: was fourth grade at the time, he said, the fact 608 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 1: that this fourth grader took their turn to point out 609 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:09,240 Speaker 1: to another classmate that that supporting him, that they noticed 610 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 1: something that he was working on for himself, They said, 611 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:13,240 Speaker 1: we just wanted to make sure that you know, and 612 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 1: so that I was floored by that, Like I should have, 613 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 1: Like I wanted to print out that email, but you 614 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 1: don't because you don't hang up there's tons of things. 615 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:21,880 Speaker 1: You don't hang everything on the hall. But I was like, 616 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,440 Speaker 1: and that was a personal thing, But I was like, 617 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:25,960 Speaker 1: that to me was like a lot. Damn, that's pretty great. 618 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,680 Speaker 1: The child that you love more than the other children, 619 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:33,480 Speaker 1: ye know, it depends on the day by the way. 620 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 1: That's a good point because listen, we're making everything sounds 621 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 1: so fairy tale is here. It's like, by the way, 622 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,480 Speaker 1: kids can be a pain in the ask, dude, Not 623 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,240 Speaker 1: everything is easy. Not everything. I mean, is there anything 624 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 1: cuter than a kid making up their own knock knock joke? Yeah, 625 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 1: because it sucks when the kids like knock knock, who's 626 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,000 Speaker 1: there and they're like peanut butter. I like peanut, but 627 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,400 Speaker 1: it's like, that's not a joke, so they do something 628 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 1: and listen, just because you're a parent, Just because you're 629 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,920 Speaker 1: a parent does not mean you're immune. It doesn't mean 630 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,320 Speaker 1: that you're immune to things like being annoying. So don't 631 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,200 Speaker 1: get this. We're not sugarcoat and everything here, Like it's tough, man. 632 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,440 Speaker 1: There are times when you're like my kids annoying me. 633 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,880 Speaker 1: But I mean that happens. I have a question. You're 634 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:18,959 Speaker 1: a bad dad. Oh you heard that one will trade 635 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 1: family for new So here's a serious question. This is 636 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 1: a This is a serious question because, um, my mom 637 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:33,000 Speaker 1: and I are very much alike. My mom and I 638 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: are like even like visually genetically like, my mom and 639 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,320 Speaker 1: I are very much like. And then my brother and 640 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,800 Speaker 1: sister are more like my dad in personality, visually like 641 00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:45,360 Speaker 1: like physical, all of that. Um, it's very easy for 642 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:47,920 Speaker 1: me to connect to my mom and my dad and 643 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:52,080 Speaker 1: I connect through doing things through sport or through hockey 644 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 1: or fishing. UM. As a parent, do you find that 645 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,920 Speaker 1: it's easier to connect to one of your kids than 646 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,440 Speaker 1: one of your other kids? Do you next to them 647 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 1: all the same? There's it different? Like is it just 648 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 1: easier with one you just that you get them or 649 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 1: they get you, and it's difficult to connect to you know, 650 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 1: Like I think it again at different stages, there are 651 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,080 Speaker 1: times where it's hard you do connect with one versus 652 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:17,520 Speaker 1: the other. But looking at their thirteen and ten right now, 653 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,000 Speaker 1: like we both we all get along, like we all 654 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,360 Speaker 1: connect in our certain ways. UM. And with my son 655 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:25,920 Speaker 1: it's through athletics, and it's through watching sports and playing 656 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 1: sports and riding bikes and fishing. And with my daughter 657 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: it's skateboarding and it's jokes and you know, we I 658 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,240 Speaker 1: don't can't say that there's one versus versus another. I 659 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,640 Speaker 1: think maybe later on as they get older, like in 660 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:41,520 Speaker 1: their twenties or thirties, is when I'll be like, okay, yeah, 661 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,080 Speaker 1: I'm more like my daughter or or whatever, you know, 662 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,000 Speaker 1: whereas right now, I think we share a lot of 663 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,480 Speaker 1: very common we're all kind of in the mix of 664 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:53,680 Speaker 1: everything right now, the family, And so no, I don't 665 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: see it. It's funny. Yeah, I agree, it's funny because 666 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 1: people say, like, how how do you like how do 667 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,200 Speaker 1: you not favor one over the others? Like just because 668 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 1: they came from they may have the exact same parents. 669 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,280 Speaker 1: I mean, look at your siblings whatever. Each child has 670 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 1: something different that's that's special about them. And so I 671 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,520 Speaker 1: connect with my kids on with different things. You know, 672 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: one maybe sports one maybe you know, jokes, one maybe 673 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:23,400 Speaker 1: just that they're supersensitive. So it's like, each child is different, 674 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,440 Speaker 1: and you will and you will appreciate that special thing 675 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,920 Speaker 1: that each of them has. So it's never like it's 676 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 1: never like, oh that's why parents that are like, well 677 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,080 Speaker 1: why don't you do this like your sister, It's like 678 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 1: because they're not them, like they're their own person and 679 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 1: and and you will. I think you'll recognize each individual 680 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,000 Speaker 1: characteristics that are special of that child and you'll connect 681 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 1: on that. And that's why it's not it's not how 682 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,520 Speaker 1: do you not love one more than the others because 683 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,320 Speaker 1: they're just different and you love them each individually. That 684 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,320 Speaker 1: being said, Brooks, I will say my wife is really 685 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 1: into rap music and my son is really into rap music. Yeah, 686 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 1: and I can't listen. I mean I can kind of 687 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,880 Speaker 1: get there, but not like on that level, you know, 688 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:06,760 Speaker 1: not on that level. I have a brother in law, 689 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,920 Speaker 1: Like I I watched I watched people closely, especially like 690 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 1: father especially now because this is President on my brain. 691 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:15,840 Speaker 1: I I watched teammates that were fathers Um. I watched 692 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:19,200 Speaker 1: them closely. And my brother in law, Michael has a 693 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:23,360 Speaker 1: fifteen year old boy, our our nephew, Aiden, Um. And 694 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:28,240 Speaker 1: what I appreciate about Michael is Michael will get into 695 00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 1: whatever Aiden's into, so it's not it might like. Uh. 696 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,120 Speaker 1: They just came to l A to visit us and 697 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,440 Speaker 1: went to this concert called Suicide Boys and it's less 698 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 1: weird music that I've never heard and Michael's never heard it, 699 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 1: but he got an outfit for it. They got tickets 700 00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:43,440 Speaker 1: for it, and they were going to go and jump 701 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,520 Speaker 1: in the mosh pit and Michael was going to do 702 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,560 Speaker 1: this with and did this with a And it's something 703 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,760 Speaker 1: that I respect is that I asked him about I'm like, 704 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,680 Speaker 1: how do you do that versus just dropping your kid 705 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:54,239 Speaker 1: off and say I'll pick you up after. He's like, 706 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,120 Speaker 1: I want to be into what my son is into. 707 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,720 Speaker 1: So even if it's not my thing, it matters to 708 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,360 Speaker 1: him him and so if it matters to him, it 709 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,160 Speaker 1: matters to me. And I just thought I was so powerful. 710 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,480 Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, that's versus just looking at the 711 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,560 Speaker 1: world through your lens. Okay, you do your thing. I've 712 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:13,239 Speaker 1: always loved watching parents that engage and play and do 713 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,879 Speaker 1: things with their kid versus just parents. By the way, 714 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,040 Speaker 1: if you don't find that common ground, if you don't 715 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: meet in the middle like oh, it's I don't like it, 716 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:22,160 Speaker 1: but he likes it, So I'm gonna give a try, 717 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,279 Speaker 1: that's gonna that. That's gonna widen. And as your kid 718 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 1: gets older, there's gonna be more stuff that he likes 719 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,080 Speaker 1: to do that you don't like to do. And then 720 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:32,400 Speaker 1: you then you're gonna be like, well, why aren't we close? Yeah, 721 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,200 Speaker 1: And as a parent, I can tell you don't want that. 722 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:37,239 Speaker 1: You don't want to grow up and be like, oh, 723 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:38,840 Speaker 1: my kid doesn't want to be with me, or I 724 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:42,560 Speaker 1: don't understand my kid start start you know, make that effort, 725 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,640 Speaker 1: find that middle ground. You may not like it, you 726 00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,640 Speaker 1: may go to the concert the mosh pit and hate it, 727 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:48,640 Speaker 1: but you know what, the kid's gonna notice that you 728 00:34:48,680 --> 00:35:00,600 Speaker 1: did it. Back from break, we're talking about fatherhood, fatherhood. 729 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:02,799 Speaker 1: I love the show, guys, has been awesome, and we 730 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:08,480 Speaker 1: now have a friend of the show here with and 731 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 1: on on the break here just asked a fantastic question, like, dude, 732 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,120 Speaker 1: you gotta come on and ask that. So, So I 733 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,920 Speaker 1: have three kids, three kids how old? Eight six and four? 734 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,720 Speaker 1: Two girls and a boy. Awesome. So I was wondering 735 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:20,799 Speaker 1: as I'm listening to you guys chat. You know, one 736 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:23,000 Speaker 1: one thing that comes to mind with me is my 737 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:25,160 Speaker 1: kids are getting a little bit older now, and you 738 00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:28,919 Speaker 1: start thinking about kids that are bad influences on your kids. 739 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:32,960 Speaker 1: So what do you guys think about that? I'm going 740 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,680 Speaker 1: I'm going through that right now. Yeah, I mean there's 741 00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:40,600 Speaker 1: definitely um you just honestly speaking, you just gotta let 742 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,319 Speaker 1: him make the mistaken and then have that talk for them. 743 00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:44,960 Speaker 1: I mean, you you want to as they walk out 744 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,839 Speaker 1: the door. You can't be like you. I don't think 745 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:50,000 Speaker 1: you can necessarily control who they're gonna hang out with 746 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,960 Speaker 1: you can to some extent, but you gotta. As I 747 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,279 Speaker 1: go through this mentally, I'm like, okay, I just gotta 748 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,920 Speaker 1: let it him stub his toe. I agree with that, 749 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:02,360 Speaker 1: but I will hedge the bet a little bit myself, 750 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,799 Speaker 1: and I will have a conversation with my kids and 751 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,200 Speaker 1: if they're if I know they're going or they're hanging 752 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,479 Speaker 1: out with someone that's I mean minor, your minor, your age, 753 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,919 Speaker 1: except I have one that's tens or ten, eight, six 754 00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:16,239 Speaker 1: and three. Um. But it's like sometimes I'll be like, 755 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:19,799 Speaker 1: listen this, maybe this happened at school or said, you know, 756 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,640 Speaker 1: I just think about that. You know, I just I'm 757 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: not telling you do what you want to do, but 758 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,319 Speaker 1: I want you to just think about, you know, what 759 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,920 Speaker 1: you're doing and how that might affect other people or something. 760 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:29,759 Speaker 1: Just a kind of plant to see you. Now leave 761 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,479 Speaker 1: the thinking up to them, because then at least they're 762 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,560 Speaker 1: not going into hanging out with the other kid or 763 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:39,320 Speaker 1: whatever situations. It is blind and like not thinking about repercussions. 764 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:41,560 Speaker 1: It's like, listen this, you know, I know you like 765 00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,839 Speaker 1: this girl in your class. She's nice and you guys 766 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:46,360 Speaker 1: are friends. But it's I don't know, if she's necessarily 767 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,759 Speaker 1: the nicest to some of the other kids, and you know, 768 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:50,640 Speaker 1: think about think about if someone was picking on your 769 00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:52,799 Speaker 1: little brother or and your little sister or something like that. 770 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 1: Keep that in mind when you're doing this, because when 771 00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,080 Speaker 1: you're hanging out with her, because there's someone on the 772 00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,840 Speaker 1: other end that may be feeling the results of this. 773 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,239 Speaker 1: Just think about that. And I'm not telling you can't 774 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:03,759 Speaker 1: hang out with her, but I want you so, And 775 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,160 Speaker 1: I'll plant the seed that they can whatever it is 776 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 1: that and then they'll, you know, maybe they'll make that decision. 777 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,040 Speaker 1: That's that's at least one. The other thing I was 778 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,719 Speaker 1: gonna say is where my son's now. He's hanging out 779 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:17,200 Speaker 1: with you know, with a with a friend and the 780 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,040 Speaker 1: friends good, but the parents and the parents are good. 781 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:24,319 Speaker 1: But you know, they're big drinkers and they've got an 782 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:27,960 Speaker 1: open bar at the house and it's a pretty common 783 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 1: social area where everybody hangs out. We go over there. 784 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,120 Speaker 1: But being thirteen, I'm concerned about that later, you know, now, 785 00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:38,200 Speaker 1: or even later on where it's like, hey, I'm over 786 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,000 Speaker 1: at what's his name's house and you know, my parents 787 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,799 Speaker 1: are gone. Let's you know, my dad, I know where 788 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,399 Speaker 1: my dad keeps his vodka. You know, like that part 789 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:48,759 Speaker 1: starts to creep in on me, and I do to 790 00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:52,840 Speaker 1: your point, Neil or your question is think about do 791 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,160 Speaker 1: we let him go over there? You know where the 792 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,400 Speaker 1: parents when he's over there, you know you start so 793 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,640 Speaker 1: you'll equally think about the parents versus just a kid. Yeah, right, 794 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:05,000 Speaker 1: influence on. Hold on, how old are you when you 795 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,839 Speaker 1: had your first beer, your first drink? I'm forty five 796 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,719 Speaker 1: and a half and I'm gonna go downstairs and try 797 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:14,279 Speaker 1: my first one. I mean really, I mean, you know 798 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,200 Speaker 1: what I mean. I mean, we were we were all kids, right, 799 00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:19,759 Speaker 1: I mean, and and I certainly I wouldn't. I wasn't 800 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:23,040 Speaker 1: the worst kid, but I certainly wasn't telling everybody, no, 801 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:27,719 Speaker 1: don't don't do that, you know. And I remember, you know, 802 00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:32,400 Speaker 1: drinking beers at thirteen, and you know, breaking a breaking 803 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,480 Speaker 1: into a place with my buddies, and you know what 804 00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:40,600 Speaker 1: I mean, crol barn the lock off. And I think 805 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,759 Speaker 1: that kids, you know, doing that thing, and you know, 806 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:44,840 Speaker 1: you can try to restrict it all you want. The 807 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:48,480 Speaker 1: fact is the kids. This sounds like crazy talk because 808 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,000 Speaker 1: I don't have kids that I know, so you know, 809 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,520 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, so it sounds like crazy talk, 810 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,880 Speaker 1: but the more you restricted, the more you're gonna be surprised. 811 00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:59,200 Speaker 1: I guess. The fact is, you can try to remove 812 00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:03,439 Speaker 1: the alcohol from the equation all you want, but if 813 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:06,960 Speaker 1: you don't, it's almost like you need to have a 814 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,200 Speaker 1: space where they can have a beer at the house. 815 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,960 Speaker 1: Otherwise they're gonna go break into something like I did 816 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,120 Speaker 1: with my friends to go have a beer. Now that's 817 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,319 Speaker 1: two real fences, you know what I mean. So you know, 818 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:21,960 Speaker 1: then you get caught, you know, you may go to court, 819 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 1: you know. So it's almost like just have a beer 820 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,680 Speaker 1: in the basement, you know, the house, with your coup 821 00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,360 Speaker 1: of your buddies. Well, and I think this is a 822 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 1: very good topic for another show too, is is it 823 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,799 Speaker 1: sounds crazy drugs, alcohol, that kind of stuff. But I 824 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,239 Speaker 1: think to my to my point and Neil was like, 825 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:38,760 Speaker 1: we're not trying to stop it, and we're not gonna 826 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,960 Speaker 1: stop it. It's it's a worry that creeps into a 827 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:47,319 Speaker 1: parent's mind. Yeah, I totally understand that. I'm just I'm 828 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:52,000 Speaker 1: just pointing out I think that when you overly restrict something, 829 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:55,440 Speaker 1: you created larger perversion for it, and a larger desire 830 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,360 Speaker 1: for it. So when you're young and can't drink, you 831 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:02,200 Speaker 1: just do drugs. So you know, if you don't make 832 00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:05,480 Speaker 1: the beer available, uh, for them to crack open a 833 00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:08,520 Speaker 1: six pack with three of their buddies, it'll be waysier 834 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:10,239 Speaker 1: for them to just go buy a joint. I mean, 835 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:11,880 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, go get some drugs. You 836 00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,440 Speaker 1: don't know what's in that, So you know, you do 837 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,719 Speaker 1: know what's in the can of beer. And as far 838 00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,920 Speaker 1: as knowing what's in something versus not knowing what's in something, 839 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,680 Speaker 1: it's a safer choice. That sounds like crazy, tall, I 840 00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:24,439 Speaker 1: understand what you're saying, and I think it's a matter 841 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,120 Speaker 1: of of communicating with them. I think it's a matter 842 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:29,640 Speaker 1: of like I I got a buddy who doesn't show 843 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:33,160 Speaker 1: his kids any TV show that has like bad language, 844 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,520 Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna like not show my my kids 845 00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,719 Speaker 1: are watching, and I'll be like, listen that a lot 846 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,919 Speaker 1: of people don't like that word does not necessarily something 847 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,040 Speaker 1: you want to use. But I'm not gonna not show him. 848 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:43,600 Speaker 1: So stuff like that. It's like, I'm not going to 849 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,000 Speaker 1: pretend that alcohol doesn't exist. I'm not gonna pretend that 850 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,840 Speaker 1: people don't drink it. Um, But I think it's a 851 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,920 Speaker 1: matter of just talking. If the more you commune, then 852 00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:52,880 Speaker 1: they're gonna feel comfortable if they're like, hey, I was 853 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,759 Speaker 1: over at my friend's house and you know, he went 854 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:59,000 Speaker 1: into the bar and I tried something. It's it's gonna 855 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,400 Speaker 1: You're right, Kevin, that's gonna to happen. Kids are kids. 856 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,239 Speaker 1: But what you don't want is you don't want your 857 00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:05,000 Speaker 1: kid doing that and then feeling like he can't tell 858 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:09,600 Speaker 1: you about it, or you can or if you find out, 859 00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:11,719 Speaker 1: and then how you know, like, yeah, he's probably not 860 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,719 Speaker 1: going to tell you. Here's here's a question, here's can 861 00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,000 Speaker 1: I man? So these are all valid concerns from all 862 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:19,920 Speaker 1: you guys because you have kids to worry about in 863 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:23,560 Speaker 1: that capacity, right, Um, but at what age would you 864 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:27,640 Speaker 1: consider having a beer with your kid? I remember my 865 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,759 Speaker 1: dad had he gave me. I got my first days 866 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:34,239 Speaker 1: to beer from my dad. Um remember how old that was? 867 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,520 Speaker 1: But I certainly was not old enough that I was like, 868 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:40,680 Speaker 1: you know, I do remember I think I have my 869 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:45,240 Speaker 1: first days of like nine at a ball tournament that yeah. Yeah, 870 00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:47,600 Speaker 1: but but then yeah, but like a sip or having 871 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,279 Speaker 1: a beer sip? Can I try that he's like, yeah, 872 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,279 Speaker 1: I have this weird remember it. But don't you think 873 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:58,480 Speaker 1: that by him making by the parents making it permissible 874 00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,400 Speaker 1: in the house to have a beer with them or 875 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:02,640 Speaker 1: have a couple of SIPs with them at the dinner 876 00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:06,360 Speaker 1: table at say fifteen years old, they removes sort of 877 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,680 Speaker 1: that mystery of it and to remove some of the 878 00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,839 Speaker 1: quote unquote cool for sure from it, so they're not 879 00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:16,040 Speaker 1: going overboard when they finally get alone with their buddies 880 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,800 Speaker 1: with a case of beer or whatever, like hey, whatever, 881 00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:20,759 Speaker 1: I already kind of do this with my old man 882 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,800 Speaker 1: or with I had to be with my mom at dinner. Anyway, 883 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,879 Speaker 1: it's not Yeah, it's like when you when you get 884 00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:27,399 Speaker 1: to the point where you get to where you get 885 00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,719 Speaker 1: to go to college, and then your freshman year you're 886 00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,319 Speaker 1: just kids down the bottle of Southern comfort and you 887 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:36,200 Speaker 1: started throwing up. That's what's happening. But we've talked about this. 888 00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:39,239 Speaker 1: In Europe, there's no drinking age, right, and kids don't 889 00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:41,200 Speaker 1: wait to be twenty one or wait to sneak it, 890 00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,920 Speaker 1: and what I guess there is, but but they don't. 891 00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,200 Speaker 1: They don't go like hog wild like I can't wait, said, 892 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:49,480 Speaker 1: They just they grow into it and they have a 893 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:51,759 Speaker 1: glass of wine right at home with the family. I 894 00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,640 Speaker 1: think we over restrict them here, and because we were 895 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:59,120 Speaker 1: restricting them for so long, we create we create an 896 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:02,719 Speaker 1: absolute east out of it, you know, unnecessarily because we're 897 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:10,600 Speaker 1: just strict restrict we should be restricting homemade knock knock jokes. 898 00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,520 Speaker 1: I have a couple of questions for you guys, just 899 00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:17,640 Speaker 1: and just give me you're one or two sentences you're 900 00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:19,440 Speaker 1: you're just give it to be short here on this. 901 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,279 Speaker 1: I want to the most important answer so this doesn't 902 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:25,359 Speaker 1: drag on. But some real interesting questions for you guys. 903 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:28,480 Speaker 1: Um kneeling, Gonna start with you. So you have three kids. 904 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:35,920 Speaker 1: What is your biggest fear about being a parent? That's 905 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:39,000 Speaker 1: a tough one. Um, I mean, I think that goes 906 00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:45,000 Speaker 1: many levels, right, But for me, it is making. For me, 907 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:47,240 Speaker 1: it's making certain of my kids are making the right decisions. 908 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,240 Speaker 1: And so if if I can help them and influence 909 00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,040 Speaker 1: on the one one direction that I wanted them to 910 00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:55,280 Speaker 1: go in and something that I realized that it's something 911 00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,359 Speaker 1: very wrong and they went down in completely wrong path, 912 00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,640 Speaker 1: that's a big fear for me. They keep for sharing that. 913 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:08,279 Speaker 1: Dmitri I think it would be that it's not to me. 914 00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:10,800 Speaker 1: It's not about being like right all the time, and 915 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:12,719 Speaker 1: it's not about having them follow the way I want 916 00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:14,920 Speaker 1: them to be. My biggest fear, I think would be 917 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:19,120 Speaker 1: that I'm not there for them or they feel like 918 00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:23,480 Speaker 1: I wasn't there for them. So if they, if they, 919 00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:25,279 Speaker 1: I want them to know that they can always come 920 00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:26,880 Speaker 1: to me, that that I'm always there for them. And 921 00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,799 Speaker 1: I don't want them to ever think like, oh not 922 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:30,520 Speaker 1: dad let me down, like he didn't take us to 923 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:33,000 Speaker 1: the park my mother, but the dad let me down 924 00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,640 Speaker 1: because he wasn't He wasn't there for me when I 925 00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,000 Speaker 1: needed him. He needed to talk and I needed to 926 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,560 Speaker 1: talk and he wasn't there. Or I turned to other 927 00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:41,600 Speaker 1: people because I didn't feel like I don't I don't 928 00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:44,879 Speaker 1: want that that that to me, that would be a failure. Rick, 929 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,920 Speaker 1: what's your biggest fear about being a parent. And by 930 00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:49,359 Speaker 1: the way, I credit to all you guys for sharing 931 00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,680 Speaker 1: this stuff. Is this real stuff, So that's why I 932 00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:53,799 Speaker 1: wanted to have this discussion. So yeah, no, I mean 933 00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,400 Speaker 1: my biggest fear is losing a child. That would be 934 00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:02,360 Speaker 1: my biggest fear. So you have the protection umbrella always 935 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,560 Speaker 1: in the back of your mind, and you realize you 936 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,160 Speaker 1: sort of you're helpless at some point. You know, at 937 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:09,920 Speaker 1: some point when they grow up and they're doing something, 938 00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,040 Speaker 1: regardless of the age, you know that losing somebody like 939 00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,640 Speaker 1: that would be that's my biggest fear. I mean, I 940 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,799 Speaker 1: think out of probably You're absolutely right. I think out 941 00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:22,600 Speaker 1: of probably fear, I think I've completely blocked that out 942 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:26,600 Speaker 1: of my mind altogether. You're absolutely right, But it doesn't 943 00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:30,399 Speaker 1: because it's that severe that you try not to even 944 00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:32,879 Speaker 1: think about it. Yeah. Yeah, you try not to think 945 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:35,040 Speaker 1: about it for sure. Gav What about you, because you 946 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,560 Speaker 1: said you want to be a dad, but you're not. 947 00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:42,040 Speaker 1: What would be your biggest fear about becoming a father? Man? 948 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,840 Speaker 1: I mean all of the above, all of the above. 949 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,920 Speaker 1: I mean there's there's clearly, there's an endless amount of 950 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:52,560 Speaker 1: things to worry about, clearly, right. Um. And it's funny 951 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:56,680 Speaker 1: because you spoke about your dog, your dog trainer saying 952 00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:02,200 Speaker 1: it's not necessarily about the discipline, it's about them exactly exactly, 953 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,600 Speaker 1: And um, I see that kind of from all of you. 954 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,160 Speaker 1: Guys are sort of trying to deliver that same sort 955 00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:12,560 Speaker 1: of leadership with your with your kids, and you can't 956 00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:15,760 Speaker 1: help obviously, but be concerned about every nook and cranny 957 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,480 Speaker 1: of everybody's home and every environment that they're in. Right. 958 00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:22,080 Speaker 1: I'm not a dad, so I don't have that level 959 00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:29,400 Speaker 1: of freak out yet, right, which you can't really nobody 960 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:33,120 Speaker 1: can really wrangle that in cam they like as a parent. Right, 961 00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:36,239 Speaker 1: it's an It's just an endless amount of God. I 962 00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:41,000 Speaker 1: hope nothing bad happens any second of the day, right, Um. 963 00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,320 Speaker 1: And it kind of reminds me of hearing you guys 964 00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:45,400 Speaker 1: talk about the way my father used to speak to 965 00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,240 Speaker 1: me as a kid. Well, first of all, every day, 966 00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:49,880 Speaker 1: every day I went to school, I would have to 967 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:54,120 Speaker 1: research recite the same exact things to him every day. 968 00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:56,480 Speaker 1: He would say, why do you go to school? And 969 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:59,200 Speaker 1: I would have to say, to learn to listen and 970 00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:04,160 Speaker 1: to obey. And then of course it was like very 971 00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:09,000 Speaker 1: rich and I didn't see to learn to listen and 972 00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:11,680 Speaker 1: to obey, right, So it was like a lot of 973 00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:15,279 Speaker 1: a lot of whip cracking and then uh, and then 974 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,200 Speaker 1: of course every time I go out with my friends, 975 00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:23,560 Speaker 1: he'd say, don't make me sorry. Don't make me sorry, 976 00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:27,760 Speaker 1: which was basically, you know, keep your decision making and check, 977 00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:30,640 Speaker 1: you know. And he would also pull me aside and 978 00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:34,320 Speaker 1: tell me things like, if anybody's driving like an asshole, 979 00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,239 Speaker 1: you know, tell him stop the car. I'm getting out 980 00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:39,879 Speaker 1: of the car right now, you know what I mean. 981 00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:44,839 Speaker 1: Never be never, never be worried about speaking up when 982 00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:48,040 Speaker 1: you don't like something, yelling at somebody if need be, 983 00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:50,719 Speaker 1: pulling them out if need be, you know what I mean. 984 00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:56,000 Speaker 1: He really sort of emboldened me to, uh step out, 985 00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,120 Speaker 1: step out first, and really like call people on their 986 00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,920 Speaker 1: first you know what I mean, anything that I didn't like. 987 00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:07,520 Speaker 1: He wanted me to voice my opinion aggressively. So that 988 00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:10,040 Speaker 1: was also part of the upbringing thing. And I see 989 00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:14,319 Speaker 1: listening to you guys talk, I hear why now more 990 00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:20,640 Speaker 1: so than ever because it's really based on protection essentially. Yeah, 991 00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:25,640 Speaker 1: I think my biggest fear would be did I serve 992 00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:30,560 Speaker 1: this life as well as I possibly could to give 993 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:36,360 Speaker 1: them the best chance of of happiness in the world, 994 00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:41,799 Speaker 1: not success, happiness. Do they are they? And I loved 995 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:45,480 Speaker 1: what you said of like can they come Dmitri? You said, 996 00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,719 Speaker 1: can they come and talk to me? Or can I 997 00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:49,839 Speaker 1: be their person in a time of need? Can they 998 00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:52,560 Speaker 1: trust me that much that we have that good of 999 00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,080 Speaker 1: a relationship to do it. Um, I love all of 1000 00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:58,359 Speaker 1: your answers. I'll say this I've heard, I've heard from 1001 00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:01,239 Speaker 1: different parents, and this is something I think everyone should 1002 00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:02,960 Speaker 1: just real quick. I think people should keep in mind 1003 00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:06,000 Speaker 1: it's the communication with the kids. Life is tough for kids. 1004 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,480 Speaker 1: And I know, Gavin, you were just saying it's sometimes 1005 00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:10,319 Speaker 1: it's easier for boys to be the one to speak out. 1006 00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:11,920 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's not easy for us. If you don't want 1007 00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:13,120 Speaker 1: to speak out, be the one to say, hey, I 1008 00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,640 Speaker 1: don't like this, and that's tough. But so I think 1009 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,000 Speaker 1: you can't always rely on your kids to have that 1010 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:20,279 Speaker 1: strength right away to do that. But you don't want 1011 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,160 Speaker 1: to get them caught in a in a situation. And 1012 00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,799 Speaker 1: I think some parents have certain ways things that they 1013 00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,360 Speaker 1: do with their kids cell phones. They'll say, hey, listen, 1014 00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,359 Speaker 1: send me, text me a word and then I'll call. 1015 00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:32,279 Speaker 1: If you're uncomfortable somewhere, texts me that we have a 1016 00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:34,359 Speaker 1: code words, text me a word, and then I'll call 1017 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,160 Speaker 1: and pretend like I need to pick you up because 1018 00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:38,239 Speaker 1: it's something for me. The other thing is you know 1019 00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:41,520 Speaker 1: something that I'll tell my kids when it's when it's time. Hey, listen, 1020 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:45,040 Speaker 1: if you're uncomfortable in a situation, send me. If if 1021 00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:46,840 Speaker 1: you guys are taking selfie to send me a selfie, 1022 00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,520 Speaker 1: have a little code in there, you know what I mean. 1023 00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:50,920 Speaker 1: Have your hand on your ear. If you're uncomfortable in 1024 00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,239 Speaker 1: a situation you're at, send the selfie out. And if 1025 00:49:53,239 --> 00:49:55,160 Speaker 1: I see that your your hand is on your ear, 1026 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,120 Speaker 1: then I know you're uncomfortable and we'll get you out 1027 00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,359 Speaker 1: of there. So I think it's tough for a kid 1028 00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,400 Speaker 1: to always just come out and say, hey, I'm uncomfortable here, 1029 00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:03,280 Speaker 1: and I don't want to you know, I'm out of here, guys, 1030 00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:05,840 Speaker 1: because that pure pressures up. So I think it's important 1031 00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:07,640 Speaker 1: to have that line of communication with your kids. We 1032 00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:09,919 Speaker 1: were like, listen, you're never alone. Even though I'm not there, 1033 00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:12,319 Speaker 1: you're not alone. We gotta we got a system. We can. 1034 00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:15,880 Speaker 1: You know, we'll figure things out. Beautiful. Okay, I have 1035 00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:18,160 Speaker 1: one last question. That's awesome, and I have beautiful that. 1036 00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:20,640 Speaker 1: I love learning these things from you guys. You guys 1037 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,239 Speaker 1: have been down this path. We have have one last 1038 00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:25,200 Speaker 1: question and we've gotta wrap this up, um real quick. 1039 00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:28,440 Speaker 1: If you can give me like one sincere most genuine, 1040 00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,919 Speaker 1: authentic sentence. If you can narrow it to that, would 1041 00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:40,400 Speaker 1: love it. Um. What is the absolute best part of fatherhood? Uh? 1042 00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:43,840 Speaker 1: I remember when my son was born. I was walking 1043 00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:47,040 Speaker 1: down I'll probably cry. I was walking down the hospital 1044 00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:49,920 Speaker 1: and it wasn't even the nurse that delivered the baby 1045 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,040 Speaker 1: at the time, but a nurse just in passing. I 1046 00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:53,880 Speaker 1: had all my scrubs on because my wife had a 1047 00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:56,040 Speaker 1: c section, and she was like, what do you have? 1048 00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,800 Speaker 1: And I was like, I had a baby boy, and 1049 00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:01,480 Speaker 1: she goes, You're gonna have a friend for life. Wow, 1050 00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:07,560 Speaker 1: And it just time. Seriously, It's like and it's true, 1051 00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:11,560 Speaker 1: Like I'd love it. I love my kids. That's awesome. 1052 00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:15,759 Speaker 1: Thanks Dmitri Um. I mean, there's there's a lot of them. 1053 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:19,200 Speaker 1: I'll just take one similar to that. Is that? Um? 1054 00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:22,240 Speaker 1: One night I went I know, in the first episode 1055 00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:23,759 Speaker 1: we did here, I told the story where my one 1056 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:25,840 Speaker 1: of my kids came in and woke me up and 1057 00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:27,400 Speaker 1: tell me that they love me. But one night I 1058 00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:30,360 Speaker 1: was I walked in there, I got home late, kids 1059 00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,399 Speaker 1: were asleep, and I was like, man, you know, it's 1060 00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:35,359 Speaker 1: it's nice, but it's it's you know, some days it's good, 1061 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:36,640 Speaker 1: you know, the kids are sleep, but you had a 1062 00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:39,080 Speaker 1: hectic day whatever. But one one night I get home 1063 00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:40,719 Speaker 1: and I'm like, they're all asleep, and so I went 1064 00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,680 Speaker 1: in there and I just quietly said good night to 1065 00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:43,680 Speaker 1: all of them. And I was walking out of the 1066 00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:45,879 Speaker 1: room and I heard I love you too, Dad, Dad, 1067 00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:50,040 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, man, like half asleep, but 1068 00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:53,160 Speaker 1: it still came out into me. It was like makes 1069 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:57,120 Speaker 1: it all worth it? Yeah, yeah, wow, awesome. Yeah, I 1070 00:51:57,120 --> 00:52:00,560 Speaker 1: mean those are great, both of those. Um I would 1071 00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:05,400 Speaker 1: say for me also having my first child, my um my, 1072 00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:09,320 Speaker 1: folks sits me. You will love that child uncondition you 1073 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,279 Speaker 1: for the waste your life. And that's that's exactly how 1074 00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,440 Speaker 1: it is. You know, no matter what they do, no 1075 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:17,359 Speaker 1: matter what they say, he'll always go back. And it's 1076 00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:20,520 Speaker 1: just you know, it's it's crazy love for your children. 1077 00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:25,440 Speaker 1: That's awesome. That is awesome. Hey, real quick, I want 1078 00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:26,640 Speaker 1: to say. I know we're wrapping up. I just want 1079 00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:28,080 Speaker 1: to give a quick shout out to my sister. Her 1080 00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:30,400 Speaker 1: name is a Leaky Pappas Weakland. This article if you 1081 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,479 Speaker 1: think about having kids, or even if you're a parent, 1082 00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:34,840 Speaker 1: it's called birth of a Parent. Check it out because 1083 00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,960 Speaker 1: I don't give her enough credit. As I said, I'm 1084 00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:40,200 Speaker 1: the last of five kids, and she helped a leaky 1085 00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:43,200 Speaker 1: pappas Weekland and it's called birth of a parent reading 1086 00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,080 Speaker 1: and it's time I need to give back to her 1087 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,719 Speaker 1: because she's she's been all my siblings have been fantastic 1088 00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:50,920 Speaker 1: for me throughout my life. But I think it's I 1089 00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:52,440 Speaker 1: can think it can be helpful. And she's writing a 1090 00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:57,200 Speaker 1: book too, so check it out. Um wow, that dude, 1091 00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:59,640 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. That was awesome. Going to go 1092 00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,600 Speaker 1: make some baby. Yeah, by the way, you can't get pregnant. 1093 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,520 Speaker 1: I thought we made it through an episode with that 1094 00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:10,080 Speaker 1: coming in. But I just want to send love to 1095 00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:13,000 Speaker 1: anybody out there that is a parent. Um. I have 1096 00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:16,960 Speaker 1: so much respect for father's, mother's, anybody that is a parent. 1097 00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:19,239 Speaker 1: I hope to become one one day. Gave. I hope 1098 00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:21,600 Speaker 1: you've become one too. I think you'd be a tremendous father. 1099 00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:25,840 Speaker 1: I thank everybody on the dmitri um Rick thanks for 1100 00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:27,640 Speaker 1: coming in, and we want to send our love to 1101 00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:30,160 Speaker 1: Ryan and his wife as they're expecting their second So 1102 00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:32,720 Speaker 1: thank you everybody for listening. It's been an awesome episode. 1103 00:53:32,719 --> 00:53:34,759 Speaker 1: I love guys. I hope you guys, come back next 1104 00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:36,839 Speaker 1: week for another episode of hell Men. Think till then, 1105 00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:41,080 Speaker 1: take care of one another, love one another, gath and 1106 00:53:41,120 --> 00:53:43,759 Speaker 1: we'll see you next week, See you next week. Well 1107 00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:45,480 Speaker 1: done man, great job, guys,