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Speaker 1: This is John, this is them Okay Storytime podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some.

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Speaker 1: Good stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 3: That's right.

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Speaker 4: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

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Speaker 4: two minute at break from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 2: I caught my boyfriend cheating because of his smart watch.

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Speaker 5: I guess he wasn't as smart as his watch. Oh.

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Speaker 2: I twenty eight female, got cheated on by my ex,

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Speaker 2: let's call him Charles, twenty eight male, two years ago

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Speaker 2: after an almost six year relationship, and I found out

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Speaker 2: in an unbelievable way. Here is the backstory of our relationship.

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Speaker 2: We started dating in the fall of twenty seventeen when

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Speaker 2: we met in college. Things were great for the first

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Speaker 2: few years. We both graduated, went on trips, got along

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Speaker 2: with each other's families and friends, and started talking about marriage.

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Speaker 2: Then things started to go downhill once we were living together.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user name on the

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Speaker 2: r slash Charlotte do Bray YouTube's I've Reddit and if

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Speaker 2: you want to spent your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 2: r slash Okay Storytime severed it.

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Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, you know I'm Keon.

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Speaker 2: We lived on a gravel road with two dogs. The

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Speaker 2: house got dirty easily and needed to be swept in

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Speaker 2: vacuumed daily. He would never sweep or vacuum, no matter

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Speaker 2: how many times I would ask him to help. Charles

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Speaker 2: wanted to convert an old treehouse that was on the

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Speaker 2: property into a chicken coop. I told them that I

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Speaker 2: did not want chickens, but he said we were getting

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Speaker 2: them anyway.

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Speaker 5: Besides the fact of the logistics, just motistically, I don't

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Speaker 5: get it, but OPI doesn't want the chickens, and he

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Speaker 5: just said, too bad.

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Speaker 2: I told them that I did not want to be

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Speaker 2: responsible for taking care of them because I didn't want

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Speaker 2: them in the first place, and he said that he

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Speaker 2: would take care of them. He never took care of them.

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Speaker 2: I would like, literally, I personally would never do this.

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Speaker 2: But if I were you, I would just not take

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Speaker 2: care of them. Personally, I would feel bad and I

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Speaker 2: would take care of the chicken.

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Speaker 3: How about them?

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Speaker 5: Feel bad for the chicken.

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Speaker 2: But like, if you wanted to be really if you

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Speaker 2: want to be really brutal, don't do anything. I know

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Speaker 2: I feel bad. Don't do that. Don't do that. If

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Speaker 2: you were more rude, put.

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Speaker 5: Down your boundaries and do it.

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Speaker 2: But like I, But I would never do that. I

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Speaker 2: would never do that. I would take care of the

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Speaker 2: chickens because I had chickens and I love chickens. I

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Speaker 2: cleaned their coop on a weekly basis, fed them, collected

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Speaker 2: the eggs, and fixed the coop after foxes had gotten

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Speaker 2: into it. You know what, I take it back, Take

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Speaker 2: care of the chickens. Dump your boyfriend.

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Speaker 5: Yeuh, keep the chickens. You didn't want he bought.

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Speaker 2: Get rid of him, put him in the treehouse. A

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Speaker 2: few times. I asked if you could fill the fifty

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Speaker 2: five gallon drum that he set up for their water dispenser.

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Speaker 2: He got mad at me that he had to do

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Speaker 2: everything for them. Yes, you do have to do everything

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Speaker 2: for them.

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Speaker 5: They're your chickens.

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Speaker 2: The last two years that we were together, I was

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Speaker 2: in grad school. I worked two part time jobs in

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Speaker 2: addition to taking classes and doing field placement hours for

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Speaker 2: my degree. I was very busy, and we got maybe

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Speaker 2: one or two days every month when we would both

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Speaker 2: be off work together and able to spend time together.

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Speaker 2: On those days, he would ask if it was all

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Speaker 2: right for him to go on a short hike in

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Speaker 2: the morning and then hang out the rest of the day.

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Speaker 2: When he got back home, I would always say yes

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Speaker 2: because I knew he hiking and I didn't want to

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Speaker 2: tell him not to do something he loved. Well, Charles's

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Speaker 2: short hikes would turn into him being gone for eight

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Speaker 2: to ten hours. When he would get home, I would

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Speaker 2: tell him I was upset and thought he was going

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Speaker 2: to be home sooner than he was. He would tell

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Speaker 2: me that I overreacted and to let it go. He

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Speaker 2: was always late when it came to doing things with

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Speaker 2: my family and friends. If we were supposed to leave

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Speaker 2: at a specific time, that is when he would get

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Speaker 2: into the shower to start getting ready. For example, I

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Speaker 2: would tell him we needed to leave at five thirty

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Speaker 2: because we were meeting up with my parents at six.

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Speaker 2: He would go into the bathroom at five thirty to

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Speaker 2: start getting ready.

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Speaker 5: That's when you start lying about the times you gotta leave. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: he should be better about that, but that's when you

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Speaker 5: lie about the times.

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Speaker 2: Or you break up with him or that. And then

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Speaker 2: we would leave at six. More than once. My family

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Speaker 2: had called us and asked why we were late, and

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Speaker 2: Charles said it was no big deal and it didn't matter.

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Speaker 2: Because his family wasn't strict on their times when there

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Speaker 2: were plans. I tried multiple times to explain to him

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Speaker 2: that my family puts a time and place for a reason,

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Speaker 2: and it's rude and disrespectful to not care about it.

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Speaker 2: One time, I told him a time earlier than when

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Speaker 2: we needed to leave, so we would end up being

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Speaker 2: on time because he was always late. I told him

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Speaker 2: on the way home that night that I told him

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Speaker 2: an earlier time, and he called me a liar for

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Speaker 2: doing that. Dump him.

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Speaker 5: He was probably still late somehow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Another time I didn't monitor the time of him getting

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Speaker 2: ready at all. I reminded him two hours before we

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Speaker 2: were supposed to leave, and that was it. About twenty

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Speaker 2: minutes after the time we're supposed to leave, I told

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Speaker 2: him we were late, and he got mad that I

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Speaker 2: didn't give him reminders to go it ready. I would

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Speaker 2: be the only person who would cook, clean, take care

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Speaker 2: of the animals, take care of the garden, and organize

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Speaker 2: presents for family birthdays. In Christmas, I would ask Charles

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Speaker 2: to please help out around the house because I was

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Speaker 2: in grad school and working two jobs. While also taking

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Speaker 2: care of the majority of the responsibilities around the house.

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Speaker 2: What does he do?

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Speaker 5: Can we get a list of anything?

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Speaker 2: Literally? What does he do?

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Speaker 5: He?

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Speaker 3: Uh? He complains he wants chickens.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and also I got anything he does?

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Speaker 5: Do?

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Speaker 2: You have to tell him mind him which is just

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Speaker 2: a mental you know, stress for you.

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Speaker 3: You're like, he's a calendar and a planner at the

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Speaker 3: same time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're his assistant and also the boss. Too many jobs.

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Speaker 2: You would tell me that since most days when I

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Speaker 2: worked it, it wouldn't be until the afternoon, I had

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Speaker 2: plenty of time in the morning to be taking care

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Speaker 2: of the house. Ooh ooh, why are we with him?

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Speaker 2: I explained to him that isn't fair for me to

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Speaker 2: be doing the majority of the housework just because my

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Speaker 2: time off during the day was in the morning and

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Speaker 2: not in the evening like his was. Charles would then

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Speaker 2: tell me that I needed to make him a list

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Speaker 2: and reminders of the things that needed to be done.

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Speaker 5: You are not his mother crazy that he could write

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Speaker 5: his own list.

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Speaker 2: Write your own list.

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Speaker 5: Figure out what it needs to be done.

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Speaker 2: In your own house. If you don't know what chores

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Speaker 2: need to be done in the house that you live in,

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Speaker 2: what's going on? This would make me angry? Because he

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Speaker 2: lived in the house too, so he should know what

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Speaker 2: needs to be done to take care of it. And

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Speaker 2: if he did need a list, then he should make

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Speaker 2: one for himself. You would say that I needed to

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Speaker 2: make the list for him, since I would ask him

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Speaker 2: to do things all the time. He would leave his

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Speaker 2: dirty clothes all over the house. Those were just the

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Speaker 2: reoccurring things that would make me angry, upset, or irritated.

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Speaker 2: We started growing apart, but I wanted to make it

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Speaker 2: work because we lived together and had two dogs together.

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Speaker 2: A few months leading up to me finding out he

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Speaker 2: was cheating, he grew distant. He wouldn't hang out with

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Speaker 2: me for longer than an hour, or if it was

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Speaker 2: longer than an hour, then it was a movie so

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Speaker 2: we didn't have to talk. I saw text on his

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Speaker 2: phone with a girl from work that felt thirty. Ope,

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Speaker 2: you put up with way too much, way too much.

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Speaker 5: I fully forgot the title of this story, and I

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Speaker 5: was like, right, yeah, he's just terribless. And then it's also.

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Speaker 2: That when I asked him about it, he got mad

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Speaker 2: at me for looking at his phone. He then changed

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Speaker 2: his passcode. The night I found out he was cheating

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Speaker 2: on me, he said he was going to a bonfire

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Speaker 2: at a coworker's house at nine thirty pm. He hadn't

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Speaker 2: come home yet, and I hadn't heard from him in hours.

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Speaker 2: I decided to go to bed, and I texted him

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Speaker 2: and told him that's what I was doing. I woke

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Speaker 2: up at about midnight and he still wasn't home and

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Speaker 2: he hadn't message me at all. So I called him.

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Speaker 2: It rang twice and then went to voicemail. I thought

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Speaker 2: maybe he pressed the wrong button when trying to answer,

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Speaker 2: so I called again. It rang four times and then

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Speaker 2: went to voicemail. At this point I knew that Charles

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Speaker 2: was ignoring my calls. I called a third time and

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Speaker 2: the phone call was answered, but not intentionally Orl's a

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Speaker 2: smart watch answered the phone call, and on the other

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Speaker 2: end of the line, I heard him and another woman

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Speaker 2: being intimate.

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Speaker 5: Oh, no smartwatch for this smart watch?

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Speaker 4: Yes.

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Speaker 2: I thought this was going to be kind of like

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Speaker 2: a whoop situation, where it was going to be like, because.

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Speaker 3: It tracks, why is he exercising?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Apparently according to right, I thought it.

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Speaker 5: Was going to be like you exercise. I thought it

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Speaker 5: was gonna be like she could see the texts on

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Speaker 5: it or something like he left to watch and it

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Speaker 5: was like lighting up a bunch or something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't be like this man. Be anybody else but

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Speaker 2: this man. And also don't cheat. You automatically suck, but

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Speaker 2: definitely this man. There's no redeeming traits for this man. None.

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Speaker 5: You're take his chicken, kick him out, Let that woman

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Speaker 5: have him.

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Speaker 2: He offers nothing to you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let the chickens run and be like, look at

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Speaker 3: all those chickens.

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Speaker 2: Take his chickens. Start an egg business.

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Speaker 5: Sell the eggs, sell the egg money, keep the chickens.

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Speaker 5: Dump the man. Invest in that smarrow.

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Speaker 2: Invest in that smartch I suppose I started yelling his

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Speaker 2: name because I didn't know what to do. Then I

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Speaker 2: heard the girl say what the heck is that? And

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Speaker 2: the line went away silent. Charles then texted me and

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Speaker 2: said he wasn't coming home tonight because he didn't feel good.

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Speaker 5: He's caught up in something.

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Speaker 2: I immediately started having a panic attack. I called my

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Speaker 2: sister and she got me calm down enough to start

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Speaker 2: packing my stuff right then and there. I had friends

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Speaker 2: who came over immediately, and we had all of my

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Speaker 2: stuff packed up and in my parents' house in less

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Speaker 2: than twelve hours. Two years later, I am now engaged

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Speaker 2: to a man who has shown me more respect, understanding, patience,

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Speaker 2: love and support than I ever got from Charles.

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Speaker 5: And where are the chickens?

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Speaker 2: Common Wine? Did the knuckle I'd ever reach out? Opie

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Speaker 2: says he did. About three weeks post breakup, I went

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Speaker 2: to a friend's wedding that he also went to. I

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Speaker 2: didn't talk to him, but after I left, he texted me.

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Speaker 2: He said that I looked really good and he wasn't

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Speaker 2: able to stand up from the table because of how

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Speaker 2: a certain area of his body reacted to see me. Ew,

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Speaker 2: I hope you have a moment where you were like, wow,

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Speaker 2: I was dating that.

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Speaker 3: That's the first thing he says back to you.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, he sounds like a perverse, disgusting gross

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Speaker 2: You reply, I was just wondering because he didn't seem

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Speaker 2: the type to go quietly. Just a feeling I got,

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Speaker 2: Opie says. I sent his parents a video explaining what

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Speaker 2: had happened. Since he didn't come home before I was

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Speaker 2: out of there, I ardered from his cousin that he

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Speaker 2: was mad that I did that, and a majority of

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Speaker 2: the family was not talking to him because of what

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Speaker 2: he did. His grandmother is the head of the family

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Speaker 2: and she basically shunned him. He also supposedly started dating

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Speaker 2: the girl he was cheating on me with, and no

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Speaker 2: one would speak to her at family gatherings. Comment two says,

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Speaker 2: please tell me you took the dogs. Sounds like they

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Speaker 2: would pass away if it were up to him to

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Speaker 2: take care of them. Oh, he says, I took one

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Speaker 2: of the dogs. Unfortunately there was not room at my parents'

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Speaker 2: house to take them both. I took the one that

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Speaker 2: was more bonded with me, and I had to leave

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Speaker 2: the one that was more bonded with my ex. I

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Speaker 2: think about my baby boy a lot and worry about him. No,

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Speaker 2: hope that dog is okay.

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Speaker 5: Go back for the pluck.

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Speaker 2: We'll get that dog. We get that dog.

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Speaker 5: You could give him to a friend. Please anywhere else,

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Speaker 5: anywhere else but here. My boyfriend's ex wants to be

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Speaker 5: friends with me, but I don't.

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Speaker 2: Then don't be friends.

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Speaker 5: And this comes directly from the Okay storytime subrodteit I

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Speaker 5: twenty two female to mail was the a hole back

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Speaker 5: in high school when I first met my boyfriend twenty one,

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Speaker 5: also female to male freshman year it was before either

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Speaker 5: of us came out as gender diverse guys, and so

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Speaker 5: we were just both nerdy byes with a lot in common.

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Speaker 5: Sounds like the start of a great friendship, except he

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Speaker 5: is the only person I've ever experienced love at first

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Speaker 5: sight before. By the way, this comes from Active Towns

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Speaker 5: forty four twenty six. You want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 5: go to the r slash Okay storytime sub reddit.

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Speaker 2: I'm Carly, I'm Sophia.

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Speaker 3: You know I'm Keon.

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Speaker 5: As soon as I saw him, I was attracted to

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Speaker 5: him and wanted to date him. Only problem he had

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Speaker 5: a girlfriend. They'd been dating since eighth grade, but it

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Speaker 5: was clear they weren't very romantic. They acted more like

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Speaker 5: best friends than romantic partners. My partner at the time,

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Speaker 5: crush who I'll call Alex, complained to me about this,

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Speaker 5: saying that they wanted to be more serious romantically with

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Speaker 5: Phoebe also fake name, but that she just wasn't interested

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Speaker 5: in that. So I did an admittedly bad thing and

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00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:41,960
Speaker 5: began flirting with Alex behind Phoebe's back, becoming good friends

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Speaker 5: with them both with the intention to steal Alex.

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Speaker 2: Ooh uh, that's messy.

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Speaker 4: O B.

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Speaker 5: Petty high school stuff that I've since outgrown. To be clear,

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Speaker 5: I didn't like Phoebe, where me and Alex had a

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00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,680
Speaker 5: lot in common, not just shows and things we liked,

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Speaker 5: but in our passion for right now and how we communicated.

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00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,320
Speaker 5: Phoebe and I had common interest, but we liked these

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00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,680
Speaker 5: things for different reasons. The things I disliked about shows

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Speaker 5: and movies were her favorite parts, et cetera. Despite not

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Speaker 5: liking her, I pretended to be very close with her

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00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,520
Speaker 5: so I could be close to Alex.

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Speaker 2: Oh, P, that's kind of psycho.

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Speaker 5: One year later, and it worked. Alex broke up with

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00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,719
Speaker 5: Phoebe and asked me out. No, he asked Phoebe if

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Speaker 5: it would be okay to ask me out after they

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00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,000
Speaker 5: broke up, and Phoebe said it was fine and they

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00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,000
Speaker 5: worked better as friends anyway. I said yes, and me

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00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,360
Speaker 5: and my partner have been together since the start of

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Speaker 5: sophomore year. After this, I begin to distance myself from Phoebe,

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00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,280
Speaker 5: stopped responding to messages and invites to hang out. I

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00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,600
Speaker 5: still hung out with her and Alex together during high school,

306
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,360
Speaker 5: but once we graduated, I stopped seeing her completely. Fast

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00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,640
Speaker 5: forward to now, me and Alex are going strong despite

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00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:54,320
Speaker 5: my childish way of getting him. He is truly my

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00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,600
Speaker 5: person and I love him so much. He is still

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00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,439
Speaker 5: friends with Phoebe, but they aren't as close. I didn't

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Speaker 5: learn why until recently. Over the years, Phoebe has tried

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Speaker 5: to hang out and tried to get me to be

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Speaker 5: her friend, and as I've matured and realized what I

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00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,920
Speaker 5: did was wrong, the guilt had built up. So with

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Speaker 5: Alex's permission, I sent a long text telling the truth.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no.

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Speaker 5: How I never really wanted to be their friend. How

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Speaker 5: I'd only done it to get Alex.

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Speaker 2: Wait, I'm sorry? How Iver?

320
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:29,400
Speaker 5: I apologize and explained that I feel awful for leading

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00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,040
Speaker 5: them on and for ignoring them for so long. I

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00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:36,080
Speaker 5: sent it expecting an angry text back, but instead she

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00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,640
Speaker 5: said she understood. Fast forward a few months and I

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00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:42,160
Speaker 5: get more texts from Phoebe asking to hang out.

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Speaker 2: Oh is she trying to steal her ex back?

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00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:45,800
Speaker 5: Oh?

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00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:46,040
Speaker 2: Man?

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00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:49,120
Speaker 5: I ignored them at first, but as they got more pushy,

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00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,960
Speaker 5: even asking Alex to get me to respond. Alex, for

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00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,480
Speaker 5: his part, said he would pass the message along, but

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00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:58,360
Speaker 5: it wasn't his business and if I wasn't responding, that

332
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,720
Speaker 5: was my choice. He knows I I don't like her,

333
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,320
Speaker 5: and he accepts that we just don't drive as people.

334
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,800
Speaker 5: I finally responded, reiterating that I had been leading her

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00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,760
Speaker 5: on as far as friendship goes, and that although I

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00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,600
Speaker 5: was sorry for my behavior in the past, I didn't

337
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,880
Speaker 5: really have time for a friendship now. I was trying

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00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,079
Speaker 5: to be nice at this point. I had to send

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00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,760
Speaker 5: a similar message two months later. Then, when she invited

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00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,680
Speaker 5: me to her twenty first birthday party, saying Alex would

341
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,760
Speaker 5: be there as a way to entice me into coming,

342
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:31,600
Speaker 5: I was very blunt. I'm not direct quoting everything for anonymity,

343
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,640
Speaker 5: but I will direct quote some things like this. I

344
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,840
Speaker 5: sent her a text saying, Hey, so, the last thing

345
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,600
Speaker 5: I want is to damage your relationship with Alex. It's

346
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,840
Speaker 5: why I've been hesitant to say anything. But I admitted

347
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,240
Speaker 5: to you how I felt about our friendship in high

348
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,800
Speaker 5: school and my true intentions back then, expecting things to

349
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,640
Speaker 5: end there, but they haven't. I don't want to hurt you,

350
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,840
Speaker 5: and I genuinely am glad you're getting yourself out there

351
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:59,320
Speaker 5: and everything. But I'm not your friend, Phoebe. I never was,

352
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,320
Speaker 5: and it's not right but it's the truth. It's how

353
00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:06,600
Speaker 5: I feel. I barely keep up with friendships with people

354
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,440
Speaker 5: that don't go to my school, and at least on

355
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:13,760
Speaker 5: my end, our bond was always artificial. So I'm sorry,

356
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,400
Speaker 5: but I can't go to your party because well, I'm

357
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,040
Speaker 5: sure it would be fun. I would only be going

358
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,880
Speaker 5: because Alex is going, and that isn't fair to you.

359
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,720
Speaker 5: It isn't you deserve friends that give you more than

360
00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:29,880
Speaker 5: one word responses. Once again, I'm sorry for hurting you.

361
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,880
Speaker 3: Honesty is Honesty is a quality. It could be good,

362
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:36,880
Speaker 3: it could be bad, but it's.

363
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,800
Speaker 5: So you're still really harsh.

364
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,359
Speaker 2: On the other hand, guy, why.

365
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,280
Speaker 5: Is she still trying?

366
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:42,640
Speaker 2: Though?

367
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,960
Speaker 5: She responded saying I didn't hurt her and that back

368
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,840
Speaker 5: then she could tell I was only around for Alex.

369
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:52,080
Speaker 5: She said, however, I thought something could grow from that.

370
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,400
Speaker 5: But if that's where you want to end it, okay,

371
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:58,920
Speaker 5: I thought, finally she had understood. Then a week ago

372
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,400
Speaker 5: I get a message from her asking to meet in

373
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,960
Speaker 5: person to catch up and fix unresolved things between us.

374
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,760
Speaker 5: I was confused because on my end we had resolved everything.

375
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,160
Speaker 5: I messaged back and said, I don't want there to

376
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,640
Speaker 5: be bad blood between us, but that I didn't want

377
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,720
Speaker 5: to meet in person, and if there were problems she

378
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,160
Speaker 5: wanted to discuss, I'd be happy to hash it out

379
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,200
Speaker 5: over text. She once again pushed to meet in person,

380
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,760
Speaker 5: saying that she hadn't seen me in forever and she

381
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,440
Speaker 5: wanted to hear how I was doing. I thought I

382
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,000
Speaker 5: had been blunt but polite the last time.

383
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,200
Speaker 2: Oh, you certainly were blunt.

384
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:35,360
Speaker 5: The last time, but it seemed she still wasn't getting it.

385
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:39,120
Speaker 5: So I responded with an admittedly harsh message. But in

386
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,359
Speaker 5: my defense, I had told this girl.

387
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:45,440
Speaker 4: In every nice and polite way I could pace and

388
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,360
Speaker 4: I didn't want to be her friend.

389
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,280
Speaker 5: Only reason I let it go on so long is

390
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,000
Speaker 5: because I know she is still important to my partner.

391
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,920
Speaker 5: But I was at my breaking point, so I said

392
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 5: I won't hang out at your place. I won't catch

393
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,120
Speaker 5: up with you. Phoebe. You are a nice person. I've

394
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,600
Speaker 5: said it before, but I made it clear we are

395
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:08,000
Speaker 5: not friends. I don't want to be friends. I'm sorry

396
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,720
Speaker 5: that's harsh, but I've tried to be nice to walk

397
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,440
Speaker 5: around the issue for the sake of you and my partner.

398
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,960
Speaker 5: But I'm just so lost as to why you think

399
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,800
Speaker 5: we should catch up like old pals. We aren't, and

400
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 5: we're never true friends. It's the truth, and I can't

401
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:27,960
Speaker 5: be nice about it anymore. She when nuclear, responding with

402
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,560
Speaker 5: I've tried being nice to you as well, and I

403
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,399
Speaker 5: can't be nice about it anymore. The way you carry

404
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,800
Speaker 5: yourself is cowardice and cocky. You couldn't be bothered to

405
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,320
Speaker 5: talk to me in real life like a person. I

406
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,280
Speaker 5: want to see what Alex sees in you, but I

407
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,639
Speaker 5: just can't. Every person you interact with has left a

408
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,199
Speaker 5: bad taste in their mouth, and it's not their fault.

409
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,199
Speaker 5: You've only played people like chess pieces. Not once have

410
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 5: you denied that have fun changing for the better if

411
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,560
Speaker 5: you have at all. This was extremely out of character

412
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,399
Speaker 5: for someone who Contstany said it was fine and that

413
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,760
Speaker 5: I hadn't done anything wrong and everything was fine even

414
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,400
Speaker 5: when I apologized, I wrote back, Wow, what a shocking

415
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 5: thing to say. I was like that when I was fifteen.

416
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 5: But I've grown as a person enough to know and say, hey,

417
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,879
Speaker 5: I don't want to be your friend. Sorry. It's not

418
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,760
Speaker 5: that I don't view you as a person, it's just

419
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 5: that that's simply all I have to say. I wish

420
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:25,520
Speaker 5: you the best, but I don't have to give you

421
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,480
Speaker 5: a chance to be friends just because I feel guilty

422
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,199
Speaker 5: for manipulating you over five years ago. I admit I

423
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,639
Speaker 5: manipulated you back then, which is why I came clean

424
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 5: to stop leading you on. But you kept coming back

425
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,159
Speaker 5: asking to hang and be friends when I tried to

426
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 5: be clear. You really hit deep with that comment about

427
00:18:44,119 --> 00:18:46,760
Speaker 5: leaving a bad taste in people's mouth mouths. That was

428
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,920
Speaker 5: a low thing to say, especially when I have nothing

429
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,239
Speaker 5: bad to say about you. We just don't drive as

430
00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,879
Speaker 5: people together, and I've always recognized that, so you attacking

431
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,520
Speaker 5: me for setting boundaries is quite immature. I would appreciate

432
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,359
Speaker 5: if you don't don't contact me again. Once again, I

433
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:03,240
Speaker 5: wish you the best.

434
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,480
Speaker 3: What is this game? It seems like a very bad game.

435
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 2: Yea, my man.

436
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,040
Speaker 5: As I was about to block her, she said that

437
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,720
Speaker 5: I could have at least done it overcall, because she

438
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,320
Speaker 5: wanted to see if I had really changed as a person.

439
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,439
Speaker 5: I simply responded that I don't owe her that she

440
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,959
Speaker 5: doesn't have to see who I am now because I

441
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,680
Speaker 5: don't want a relationship with her. Then I blocked her.

442
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,439
Speaker 5: I told my boyfriend about all of this, and he

443
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,240
Speaker 5: said something shocking. He said months ago when I sent

444
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 5: the last nice message politely declining an invite to hang out.

445
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,640
Speaker 5: So before I was blunt with the party situation, Phoebe

446
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,400
Speaker 5: had called him saying he should dump me because I'm

447
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,680
Speaker 5: harmful and toxic, and tried to claim I was attacking

448
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 5: her verbally over text. My boyfriend shut that down because

449
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,200
Speaker 5: I had talked to him every time she reached out

450
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,920
Speaker 5: to me to make sure I wasn't being too harsh.

451
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,239
Speaker 5: He had seen what I had been sending her and

452
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 5: none of it was impolite. She then said that she

453
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,879
Speaker 5: had only said that to make him see reason, but

454
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 5: that I was still about person who doesn't deserve him.

455
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,359
Speaker 5: My boyfriend said he loved me and wasn't going to

456
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 5: leave me. Then Phoebe said, well, if he ever does

457
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 5: anything to you, I'll handle it. I know where he lives,

458
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:15,400
Speaker 5: works and goes to school. This is why my boyfriend

459
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 5: isn't as close with her anymore.

460
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:18,639
Speaker 2: This is concerning.

461
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 5: It's because she had threatened me. Only reason my boyfriend

462
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 5: didn't tell me was because my great grandmother, who I

463
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:27,639
Speaker 5: was close with, had just passed away and he didn't

464
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,760
Speaker 5: want to add more stress. He had hoped the situation

465
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 5: would just go away. I'm a bit annoyed with him

466
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 5: for it, but I see where he's coming from. So

467
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 5: am I the a hole for not wanting to be

468
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 5: friends with my partner's ex and former best friend. Was

469
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 5: there a better way to approach? Absolutely part of me

470
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 5: wonders if I should have kept trying the nice approach

471
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,879
Speaker 5: or tried to meet up in person with her. But

472
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,679
Speaker 5: the other part, with the information I have now, wonders

473
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,679
Speaker 5: that the invite to me in real life was for

474
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,120
Speaker 5: her to go after me. Any advice is appreciated, though

475
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,520
Speaker 5: I honestly hope this is the end. I think it's

476
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 5: always good to reflect on your actions, and that is

477
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,640
Speaker 5: the end. And now I am one hundred percent back

478
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,439
Speaker 5: on our train of why was she suddenly pushing so

479
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:09,119
Speaker 5: hard to meet up?

480
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 2: I agree? I refuse to invite my ex husband's wife

481
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,199
Speaker 2: to our daughter's party because she said so?

482
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,400
Speaker 5: Who said so?

483
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 2: I don't know. I thirty two female, have a daughter,

484
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 2: nine going on ten female with my ex husband, thirty

485
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 2: six male. We divorced when she was three. He then

486
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 2: remarried one of his coworkers, let's call her Mary. They

487
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,479
Speaker 2: also have a son together, six male. My daughter's birthday

488
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 2: is in nine days. I reviewed with my daughter things

489
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 2: for her birthday, like the theme the cake. By the way,

490
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,320
Speaker 2: this comes from deleted and if you want to submit

491
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,400
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime

492
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,400
Speaker 2: separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm.

493
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:46,480
Speaker 5: Carly, and I'm Keon and no, he says, here's the issue.

494
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 2: When we were going through the guest list, she looked anxious.

495
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 2: When I asked what was wrong, she told me that

496
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,600
Speaker 2: she did not want to invite Mary. I asked her why,

497
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 2: and she explained to me that Mary would make weird

498
00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 2: comments sometimes around other parents or to her. For example,

499
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,439
Speaker 2: when Mary would pick her up from dance lesson, she

500
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 2: would hear Mary say things like that's why I prefer

501
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 2: boys girls only, like pink and tutus. He also told

502
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 2: me that every time her brother, Mary an ex husband's kid,

503
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,639
Speaker 2: would do something to annoy her, like breaking her toys,

504
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 2: calling her name, starting a fight, Mary would always defend

505
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,879
Speaker 2: her son and punish her every time and say boys

506
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 2: will be boys or some crap like that. I asked

507
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 2: about her dad and she said that Mary does that

508
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 2: even when her dad is around, but he's always in

509
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 2: his office, so it's like a free pass. Later on,

510
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 2: I called her father. He asked for the day of

511
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 2: the party. Her real birthday is a school day. I

512
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 2: told him that his wife was not invited, and I

513
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 2: think I was on loud speaker because I heard Mary

514
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 2: screaming at me, saying that I destroy a family. Am

515
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 2: I the ale for not inviting my ex husband's wife

516
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,439
Speaker 2: to my daughter's birthday party because she told me not to.

517
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 5: Nope, no, nope, it's your daughter's birthday, and she gets

518
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 5: to make the invite list and she gets to be

519
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 5: the most comfortable because it's her birthday party.

520
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 2: Not invited to our birthday party?

521
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,359
Speaker 5: This is like that other movie that you're so not

522
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 5: invited into my exactly.

523
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 2: Okay, just for precision. My daughter's half sibling is four

524
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,880
Speaker 2: years younger than her. She was born in April, while

525
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 2: he was born in March. The next year after the divorce,

526
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 2: he just turned six. But it is true that we

527
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 2: divorced because my ex husband told me he was in

528
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 2: love with Mary and wanted to confess. We have fifty

529
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 2: to fifty custody. He has a busy job. My daughter

530
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 2: explained to me that she never told me or her

531
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,679
Speaker 2: dad that she was scared of ruining her father's marriage

532
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 2: because he seems happy. And there is an update, folks,

533
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 2: But what do you think, oh he should do?

534
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 5: Do not invite Mary. Yeah, I don't want to see

535
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,679
Speaker 5: Mary anywhere near that party.

536
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 2: Mary, you better not even come sniffing within twenty miles.

537
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 5: And if they can't show up without Mary, then none

538
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 5: of them can come, none of you.

539
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 3: Listen, if my future prince or princess asked me within

540
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 3: the reasons of their birthday party, and I can do it,

541
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do it.

542
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 5: Yeah.

543
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 2: I can get my little princess a pony like.

544
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 3: I can't get you Mars honey. But I can get

545
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 3: you what yours are. I can get you like a

546
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 3: little toy planet. Yeah.

547
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 2: So a lot happened. First of all, I met my

548
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 2: ex for lunch alone. I explained everything that my daughter

549
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,919
Speaker 2: told me. At first, he was defensive and told me

550
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 2: that she was overreacting. I replied that even if it

551
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 2: were true, his relationship with his daughter is at risk.

552
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 2: I gave him a choice, fix the problem or I

553
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 2: go back to court for more custody. Friday, when I

554
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 2: came to pick my daughter up at his house. I

555
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 2: talked to her in private, and she told me that

556
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,440
Speaker 2: her dad spent time with her, picking her up from

557
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:40,880
Speaker 2: school activities, helping her with homework, and playing with her.

558
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 2: Mary then told me that she accepted not going to

559
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,359
Speaker 2: the party, but still wanted to see my daughter blow

560
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 2: out her candles on her actual birthday. She baked a

561
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,320
Speaker 2: cake and asked her my daughter, if she was okay

562
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 2: with doing it before leaving. She seemed okay with it,

563
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 2: so we gathered around the cake, my daughter, Mary X

564
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 2: and half brother uh oh, and my daughter blew out

565
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:04,800
Speaker 2: the candles. Mary Junior decided that the good thing to

566
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 2: do would be to smash my daughter's face into the cake.

567
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 5: Oh no, wow, and no wonder. You're not invited to

568
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 5: the birthday party. Yep, I hope you took the candles

569
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 5: out first, because it doesn't sound like you did.

570
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like it. Be honest, if this was

571
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 2: not a kid, I would be in prison. And Mary

572
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 2: burst out laughing while my daughter was crying.

573
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 3: You ruined her birthday.

574
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,479
Speaker 2: Birthday, She literally ruined her birthday.

575
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 3: And I know this is like a monsters the shoving

576
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,639
Speaker 3: the face and the cake. I know it happens in

577
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 3: like a lot of like South American cultures, a lot

578
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 3: of like Mexican parties, they do that, like you see

579
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:38,679
Speaker 3: videos of that.

580
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,440
Speaker 5: But if that was standard for this family, I don't

581
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,639
Speaker 5: think she would have included this.

582
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

583
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 2: Mary then told her that she was being dramatic and

584
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 2: I'm we Mary X and I got into an argument,

585
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,439
Speaker 2: and to my surprise, my ex husband was on my side.

586
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: Good.

587
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 5: I would have picked that back up and put it

588
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 5: right back.

589
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:56,359
Speaker 2: I'd be like, oh, you're too.

590
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 5: Oh are you mad about it?

591
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 2: Saying that I was not okay, well, our king. I

592
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 2: noticed that my daughter was not there, so I left

593
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,720
Speaker 2: to check on her. I helped her clean herself, and

594
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 2: then we left for my house. I tried to cheer

595
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 2: her up, but she was still a little sad. The

596
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 2: party went well. Her dad came and during the party

597
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,439
Speaker 2: I told him that I want more custody because of

598
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 2: his wife's bullying, and I'll update you if more happens.

599
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 2: Precision two. Some of you ask questions about my daughter's reaction.

600
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 2: My daughter is a really shy and silent kit except

601
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 2: for me and her dad. She does not talk unless

602
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,439
Speaker 2: spoken to or if you bring up a subject that

603
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,159
Speaker 2: she likes. When something upsets her, she just stays silent

604
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 2: and cries. It's always been like that, and it is

605
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 2: what she did. Started crying, went to a room, and

606
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 2: there is an update. I really hope this is a

607
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 2: huge wake up call for her dad.

608
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 5: I hope. So I'm so glad that he was on

609
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 5: yeah peace side, Yeah, which I would have been telling.

610
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,119
Speaker 2: Well, it just seems like he was never around to

611
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:48,640
Speaker 2: see his bullying happening.

612
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 5: So I feel like that means, though, that you will

613
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 5: be free to not have to worry about her coming

614
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 5: to the birthday party because he's now probably fully on

615
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 5: your side for that.

616
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 2: Well, the birthday already happened.

617
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 5: Oh the party did too. Oh okay, yeah, and I

618
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,080
Speaker 5: was reversed in the timeline.

619
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 2: It just like it they went after this. So basically

620
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 2: they had made the plan to do the cake before

621
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 2: the party, and then they went to the party.

622
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 5: Oh when they said before the party, I thought they

623
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:16,959
Speaker 5: meant full other day. Yeah, no, that's what I had

624
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 5: to go to a party after this, right after.

625
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 2: Being no cake smashed into her face that many of

626
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,239
Speaker 2: you asked, or an update after the cake incident, I

627
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 2: asked my daughter questions about whether Mary or her half

628
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,479
Speaker 2: brother had ever laid hands on her, laid such pranks

629
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 2: on her, or behaved inappropriately. We never know. She told

630
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 2: me no, explaining that the fights with her half brother

631
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 2: are mainly him annoying her. I also inquired if anyone

632
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,399
Speaker 2: else from either side of the family had made her

633
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,320
Speaker 2: uncomfortable in any way, and again she said no. Since

634
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 2: my last post, she has been seeing her psychiatrist twice

635
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 2: a week. The bullying apparently started about two months ago.

636
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's related, although I'm sure it is,

637
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 2: but it was also around the time that Mary had

638
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 2: a miscarriage. Be honest, I feel like a terrible mom.

639
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 2: I did not see the signs, and I'm trying to

640
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,880
Speaker 2: fix everything. Last night, my ex husband called me at

641
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,919
Speaker 2: around ten pm from outside my house, saying he wanted

642
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 2: to talk. I let him in, and because I don't

643
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 2: trust him, I really don't, I recorded the whole conversation

644
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 2: with his consent. He told me that since the party

645
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,919
Speaker 2: he's been thinking about what to do, and yesterday he

646
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 2: told Mary about my desire for more custody. From what

647
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 2: he said, she didn't think it was such a bad

648
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 2: idea because my daughter wasn't fitting into their family dynamic.

649
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 2: Oh your face isn't fitting into my family dynamic. Get

650
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 2: out of here, ye, Mary.

651
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:30,199
Speaker 5: Need some cake on it.

652
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 2: They started to argue, and at one point she began

653
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 2: cursing me and my daughter. Apparently I'm a sneaky be

654
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 2: word who is bitter about her affair with my ex husband,

655
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 2: and my daughter is a spoiled, bratty princess who needs correction.

656
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 5: Larry is coming from you, Mary.

657
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: Yup.

658
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 2: He told me that now he has to choose between

659
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 2: which woman he loves the most. This is when he

660
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 2: had the click moment. He left the house, drove around,

661
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 2: and then showed up at my place. He has decided

662
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 2: to stay at a friend's house while he thinks about

663
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 2: his relationship with Mary. Our daughter will stay with me

664
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 2: during the week and visit him on the weekends. I

665
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 2: told him that if he is going to get back

666
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 2: together with Mary, I will continue to pursue full custody,

667
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 2: but if they divorce, it will depend on his custody

668
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 2: arrangement with his son, because I don't want him around

669
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 2: my daughter. He agreed, and there is a third update.

670
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 2: Earlier in the week, my ex husband asked if he

671
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 2: could come by, saying he had something important to tell me.

672
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 2: He explained that last Friday, Mary Junior got into trouble

673
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: at school for cursing at a girl. Long story short,

674
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 2: He had confessed his feelings to her, the niece of

675
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 2: the school director, and she rejected him. Apparently, he then

676
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 2: started shouting insults at her that no six year old

677
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 2: should know, let alone say.

678
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 5: Well, well, Mary, looks like you should parent your child.

679
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 2: Because of this incident and our daughter's situation, he decided

680
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 2: to divorce Mary. He will be served the divorce papers

681
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 2: next week. He also plans to pay for Mary to

682
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 2: attend therapy because he still wants to have a relationship

683
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 2: with her son. We meeting my ex husband, Our daughter

684
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 2: and I will also be attending family therapy together. My

685
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 2: daughter is happier now and that is the only thing

686
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 2: that matters me. For the summer, I plan to take

687
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 2: her to Japan to see my side of the family.

688
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,800
Speaker 2: I am still pursuing full custody of my daughter, with

689
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 2: visitation for my ex husband on the weekends. If and

690
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 2: only if Mary Junior's behavior improves, I will allow him

691
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 2: and my daughter to interact again. My ex husband is

692
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 2: also pursuing full custody of his son as he should.

693
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 2: As he should because clearly this son is not being

694
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 2: parented correctly by Mary, because he should.

695
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 5: Not be knowing these words, and he should take no

696
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 5: as an answer.

697
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 2: I still do not trust my ex husband, so I'm

698
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 2: keeping my eyes on him and the way he will

699
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 2: raise our daughter. I don't understand why people assume I'm

700
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 2: going to be nice to him. Am I polite? Yeah? Nice?

701
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 5: No.

702
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 2: I am not pursuing more custody because he wants his son,

703
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 2: but also because his recent promotion means he works more

704
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 2: and does not have time to take care of our

705
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 2: daughter during the weekdays. That responsibility falls to me. For

706
00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 2: some reason, someone asked about our races. I am Japanese

707
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 2: and as is my ex husband. Well, Mary is white

708
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 2: and French. Although I am Japanese, I was raised in France,

709
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 2: so French is my first language, followed by Japanese and

710
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 2: then English and volks. That's the end of that story.

711
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 4: John here og host, We're gonna get back to these stories,

712
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 4: but a quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

713
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 5: I refuse to pay for my son's rehearsal dinner because

714
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 5: I can't stand his fiance honestly valid. Just for a background,

715
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 5: my husband and I have three sons, Lewis thirty two,

716
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 5: Cyril twenty seven, and Jamie twenty two. Cyril has been

717
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 5: with his girlfriend Rosa twenty seven for five years, and

718
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 5: Jamie has been with his now wife, Lucy twenty for

719
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 5: a bit longer. We are all very close since it

720
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 5: was just this year that my oldest two boys moved out.

721
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 5: Jamie and Lucy and their two year old daughter, Letty

722
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 5: will be living with us for a few more years

723
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 5: since Lucy is still in school. We are absolutely fine

724
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 5: with this. They are both helpful, sweet and wonderful pair

725
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 5: despite everything. Plus, they're not taking my grand baby anywhere

726
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:07,360
Speaker 5: as long as I can help it. Hello. By the way,

727
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 5: this comes from Reliniscent seven seven seven, and if you

728
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,480
Speaker 5: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

729
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 5: slash Okay storytime subreddit.

730
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota.

731
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 5: And op says Lewis started dating Jessa thirty six, female

732
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 5: about a year ago and got engaged a few weeks ago.

733
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 5: To be perfectly honest, I'm not totally sure about her,

734
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 5: but he seems happy and has been through a lot.

735
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 5: I don't want to be some evil mother in law

736
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 5: and have really tried getting to know her, but I

737
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 5: think we're just very different. She's kind of conservative politically,

738
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 5: and my husband is a US citizen but was born

739
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 5: in Mexico, so as you can imagine, I do not

740
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 5: support and did not vote for the current administration.

741
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 2: ROSA.

742
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 5: Lucy and I have bonded in the past by going

743
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 5: to Rally's protests, et cetera, and this all came up.

744
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 5: When I tried including Jessa and invited her, she declined

745
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 5: and sent me a long text. Nothing crazy, QAnon, but

746
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 5: like we'd call them Reagan Republicans in my day, not

747
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,720
Speaker 5: that it's the same these days at all. It was

748
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 5: still so awkward, but I've continued trying to invite her

749
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 5: to non political things, but I think that one invitation

750
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 5: soured things. Other than politics. I have also found Jess's

751
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 5: attitude towards Jamie and especially Lucy gross. I'm not stupid.

752
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 5: I don't think that two people with such a big

753
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 5: age gap would become vffs, but Jessa seems to go

754
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 5: out of her way to make snide comments about Lucy

755
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 5: when she's not there. I haven't said anything because it's

756
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 5: her wedding and one hundred percent her choice, but also

757
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,840
Speaker 5: think it's odd that she asked Rosa to be a

758
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 5: bridesmaid but was even saying she didn't know if they'd

759
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 5: be inviting Lucy to the reception. She thinks she should

760
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 5: stay home watching Letty because she won't have fun since

761
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,840
Speaker 5: she won't let her drink. The venue does allow people

762
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 5: under twenty one, and one of her sisters is nineteen

763
00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 5: and invited, also showing Lucy pictures of her sister, Jamie

764
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 5: would walk down the aisle. Rosa and Lucy have both

765
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 5: acknowledged it, but haven't seemed too upset. It's still gross.

766
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, why.

767
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 5: Is your son dating this woman?

768
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:11,799
Speaker 1: I don't know.

769
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 4: I think, uh, it's pretty problematic. And I think the

770
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 4: people who are like maybe being excluded or being talked

771
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 4: nasty to, They're like, I don't care.

772
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 1: I don't want to go to your stupid wedding.

773
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 5: Lucy's a wife. Lucy's the twenty year old wife of Jamie.

774
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 4: Yes, and I don't want to support anything that this

775
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 4: woman's involved. It's one thing about just like not liking her.

776
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 5: I don't want to support Jessa. I don't support Jessa

777
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 5: at all.

778
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: It's like, this is someone who's just like actively How

779
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:37,319
Speaker 1: can you.

780
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 5: Be engaged to someone that actively probably hates your dad.

781
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,439
Speaker 1: She wants to support your dad.

782
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, she support your dad, Lucy for we don't even

783
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 5: know why if she's against the probably because.

784
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,399
Speaker 4: She's just like a young woman. And literally that's it.

785
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 4: She's like young and I resent her for being young

786
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:56,800
Speaker 4: and vibrant.

787
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:57,400
Speaker 1: There we go.

788
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 5: Anyways, Jessa texted us earlier asking about the budget for

789
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 5: the rehearsal dinner, and I just feel like I don't

790
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 5: want to spend any more money on this than I

791
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,440
Speaker 5: have to. My husband thinks it's best to just leave it,

792
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 5: but it feels like the principle of the matter. Plus

793
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 5: they're not even having a rehearsal or anything, they just

794
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 5: want to have a dinner. My husband's dance is that

795
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,399
Speaker 5: it's true we help Jamie and Lucy a bit more

796
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,240
Speaker 5: than our other sons currently, but we paid for Cyril's

797
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 5: college and more expensively, Lewis's rehab seven years sober. We

798
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 5: are all so proud.

799
00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:33,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, go Lewis Louis.

800
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 5: He said not to let politics get between family. But

801
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 5: even if she was a true blue liberal. I wouldn't

802
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 5: like the way she has been treating Jamie and Lucy. Ultimately,

803
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 5: I want to continue having a close relationship with my

804
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 5: children and their partners. But I also don't want to

805
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,280
Speaker 5: be walked all over, and I don't want to seem

806
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:55,799
Speaker 5: like I'm condoning bullying. Lucy's family completely abandoned her, so

807
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 5: we're all she has left. I don't want her to

808
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:01,120
Speaker 5: feel like we don't care about her. At the same time,

809
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 5: I know I'm biased towards them, since Jamie is my

810
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 5: baby and I've known Lucy for so long that she's

811
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,520
Speaker 5: like the daughter I never had. So would I be

812
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 5: the a hole if we don't pay for their rehearsal dinner?

813
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,320
Speaker 5: And we have some comments? Comment one? I think snide

814
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 5: comments need to be addressed. Sorry, what exactly do you

815
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:19,320
Speaker 5: mean by that? Oh?

816
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,279
Speaker 1: Yes? I love it when you hit them with that,

817
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 1: when people say you go, hey, wait, what did that mean?

818
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 5: Could you elaborate?

819
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 1: Not in like a mean way and like a wait

820
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:28,239
Speaker 1: what did you mean by that?

821
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 5: I didn't catch that. Can you say that again?

822
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:30,399
Speaker 1: Yeah?

823
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 2: Honestly?

824
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,359
Speaker 5: Even just oh sorry, what did you say?

825
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:33,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

826
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 5: And then they just have to repeat themselves.

827
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. I just didn't get it. What does

828
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 1: that mean.

829
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 5: I didn't think an age gap meant we had to

830
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 5: be rude to people. Should I be mean to you

831
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 5: because we also have an age gap. Don't roll your

832
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:46,120
Speaker 5: eyes at me. In this family, we don't have a

833
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 5: free past to be mean to other members of it.

834
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 5: I think you have to be fair and contribute an

835
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 5: equal amount to your children. She will be the mother

836
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 5: of your grandchildren after all. I just say, budget we

837
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 5: are contributing for meal is seven hundred and fifty dollars,

838
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,320
Speaker 5: and we'd like all three of our children and partners invited.

839
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 1: I like that commentary me too. I like that a lot.

840
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:05,680
Speaker 1: That was good because I.

841
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 5: Do agree that if you've put a lot of stuff

842
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 5: into the other kids, it is fair for Louis.

843
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,319
Speaker 4: But either way, I'd be like, you know what, Maybe

844
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 4: I'd go to him. I'd be like, she wants to

845
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:17,839
Speaker 4: depoor your dad.

846
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:18,120
Speaker 2: Bro.

847
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 5: I comes back to that, I'm like, why are you

848
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:22,120
Speaker 5: marrying this woman?

849
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 2: Man?

850
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 5: Facebook's gonna eat us up for this one.

851
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 4: Look, I'm simplifying things by saying deport your dad.

852
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 5: But like Opie says, I have addressed snide comments. I

853
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:35,080
Speaker 5: mentioned the dress shopping one, but there have been other

854
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 5: times when I've stuck up to them and she's just

855
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 5: blown off what I've said. Comment to Jessa doesn't have

856
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:43,399
Speaker 5: to make Lucy a bridesmaid, but she is coming into

857
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,840
Speaker 5: your already established family and tight knit family bonds already

858
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:50,399
Speaker 5: causing problems. Whatever her issues are with Lucy, she needs

859
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:54,040
Speaker 5: to swallow them and be respectful. Don't expect to get

860
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:57,240
Speaker 5: your stuff paid for if you're showing people disrespect. Speak

861
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 5: to your son and address what you're uncomfortable with before

862
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 5: you move forward with the rehearsal dinner. Her comments need

863
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 5: to be confronted before they escalate. Yet, Also, why isn't

864
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 5: Lewis out here being like my sister in law that

865
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 5: I've known forever, who's like a sister in this family?

866
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:15,760
Speaker 5: Is coming to the wedding?

867
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:17,879
Speaker 1: Exactly what are we doing?

868
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 5: Talk to your son to offer a moderate budget for

869
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 5: them and inform your son you expect to see Lucy

870
00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 5: and Jamie there. Reply, but it sounds like she doesn't

871
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 5: even want Lucy at her wedding or the child. Opie says,

872
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 5: Letty is the flower girl. She's just not invited to

873
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,719
Speaker 5: the reception as it's child free. Jess's plan is for

874
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 5: Lucy to take Letty after the ceremony and stay home

875
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 5: that night with her. And if that is the case,

876
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 5: Jamie has said he'll drop out of the wedding. Yeah,

877
00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 5: you can get a babysitter for that.

878
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 1: Yeah.

879
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 4: And she's a very transparent effort to try to exclude,

880
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 4: Like what you're saying, like a member of your family. Yeah,

881
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:57,240
Speaker 4: from the wedding, from the reception.

882
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:00,439
Speaker 5: Kind of weird to me. We went up todate though.

883
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. I would just press her and be like, what

884
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 1: is your problem with her? Yeah? Why do you have

885
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: a problem with her?

886
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:10,040
Speaker 4: Press Lewis, why do you not care that your fiance

887
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,360
Speaker 4: has a problem with your what is essentially your sister.

888
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 5: Thanks for all of your advice on my last post.

889
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 5: As I mentioned, I want to be a good mother

890
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 5: in law. I remember when my boys were young and

891
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,959
Speaker 5: we'd watch Everybody Loves Raymond and saying I would never

892
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 5: be a Marie. I mentioned our political differences to be upfront,

893
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,799
Speaker 5: I know it's a bias, but it's not the main

894
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 5: reason I dislike Jessa, just one of them. I get

895
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 5: that I would be the a hole to not pay

896
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 5: for their rehearsal dinner. A few of you gave me

897
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 5: the advice to just let my kids work it out,

898
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 5: and some of you said to talk to Lewis one

899
00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 5: on one, so I invited him to lunch yesterday. Before that,

900
00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 5: I had texted the two of them back saying that

901
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 5: we'd love to plan them a rehearsal dinner and to

902
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 5: let us know if they had any ideas, and Jesso

903
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 5: sent us a contract for a place with an eleven

904
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 5: K minimum. We have about ten K saved up for

905
00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:01,640
Speaker 5: each of our kids for their weddings, first homes and honeymoons.

906
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: Eleven thousand for the rehearsal.

907
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 5: What that's some people's whole weddings and honeymoons and more.

908
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: Who do you think you are?

909
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,800
Speaker 5: I cannot imagine going to someone and being like, well,

910
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:17,440
Speaker 5: my dinner tonight is eleven K and you're paying for

911
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,560
Speaker 5: it when especially because remember her proposed number was seven

912
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:21,720
Speaker 5: hundred and fifty dollars.

913
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:23,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, this insanity.

914
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 5: Oh here's one before you ask. We spent about seven

915
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,880
Speaker 5: hundred and fifty dollars on Lucy and Jamie's entire wedding,

916
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 5: much cheaper because all their friends didn't drink, and I

917
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 5: didn't want him to feel like I was only taking

918
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 5: him to lunch to talk about the wedding, So we

919
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,560
Speaker 5: did talk about quite a few other things before I

920
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 5: asked him how the wedding planning was going. He kind

921
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 5: of shrugged, like you know how it is. So I

922
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 5: asked if I could help it anyway. He declined and

923
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 5: thanked me for helping with the rehearsal dinner. I told

924
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,560
Speaker 5: him the cost was more than we were planning, but

925
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,280
Speaker 5: we are happy to do so for family.

926
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 1: Edit.

927
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 5: Sorry to spell it out. He acknowledged that Lucy would

928
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 5: be invited to the wall festivities. He got kind of

929
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 5: flustered at that and just started laying into me about

930
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 5: how angry he was at Jamie.

931
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,319
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think you've been going about this

932
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 1: the right way. I want to know what's going on

933
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 1: with Jamie.

934
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 5: Okay, keep reading.

935
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:11,800
Speaker 1: I need to know what's going on with Jamie.

936
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,040
Speaker 5: I told some of you, but originally Jamie was supposed

937
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:18,800
Speaker 5: to be best man. He and Louis were always so close.

938
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 5: When Jamie had first moved out of our house a

939
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 5: few years ago, he would call Louis every single day

940
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:28,680
Speaker 5: and they'd talk forever. Same thing when Lewis moved out

941
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 5: last year. I knew after a blow up, Jamie stepped

942
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:34,200
Speaker 5: down as best man, but I did not realize they

943
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,879
Speaker 5: were this angry at each other. I have never heard

944
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,399
Speaker 5: Lewis talk about anyone else, much less Jamie this way.

945
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 5: He called him an a hole, said he needs to

946
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:45,240
Speaker 5: grow up, stop being so controlling, and get over himself.

947
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,720
Speaker 5: He said that Jamie just didn't want to see him happy.

948
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,320
Speaker 5: There were other insinuations that I feel were incredibly unfair

949
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,160
Speaker 5: and untrue, but I let him get out his issues.

950
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 5: I know you all think I'm so overbearing, but I

951
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 5: had not realized the relationship had gotten so bad. I

952
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 5: listened to this airing of grievances for a while, and

953
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 5: honestly I didn't push back much. It was so shocking,

954
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 5: and later, when I told Jamie I had gotten lunch

955
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 5: with Lewis, he was just like, oh cool, Like nothing

956
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 5: was going on. We're just not a family that has

957
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 5: these kind of dramas. Is it because Louis has got

958
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,320
Speaker 5: someone else in his ear that likes problem?

959
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 1: It sounds like Jess has been Yes.

960
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 5: I told my husband I just thought I should let

961
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:30,480
Speaker 5: the boys work it out among themselves, he said, we'll see.

962
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 5: So not a great update. I have no idea how

963
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 5: this is supposed to play out or what I should do.

964
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 5: If anything. The wedding is in October, since they got

965
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 5: a good deal on a cancelation.

966
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:46,280
Speaker 4: Okay, my sister left us in shambles after borrowing money

967
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 4: from the whole family.

968
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 5: You should rob her.

969
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:54,920
Speaker 4: I've spoken of bits of this stuff in other posts,

970
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 4: but I had to learn the hard way. My sister

971
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 4: can't be loaned money. She never liked paying it back,

972
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 4: and I have had to remind her a lot. There

973
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:03,560
Speaker 4: weren't many times in my twenties she borrowed from me.

974
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 4: She borrowed stuff more than money. Then I made the

975
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,399
Speaker 4: mistake of lending her my Nintendo entertainment system and her

976
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 4: cats destroyed it. By the way, this comes from user

977
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:14,440
Speaker 4: de fox Trot eighty six, and if you want us

978
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:16,240
Speaker 4: to meet your own stories, go to the Harsh Slash. Okay,

979
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:19,799
Speaker 4: storytime subbured it. I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and let's see

980
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,279
Speaker 4: what ops to say. Speaking of cats, a decade ago,

981
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 4: she had to have a cat put down and she

982
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 4: called me, begging I drive over and help her. She

983
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 4: and all her kids piled into my old car and

984
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:31,840
Speaker 4: we went to the vet. The elderly cat had broken

985
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 4: its leg badly and may have been hit by a

986
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 4: car or even like.

987
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 1: Booted from what the vet told us.

988
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 4: We had this big emotional farewell for my sister's cat

989
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 4: passing away, and then right in the middle of it,

990
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,919
Speaker 4: my sister looks at me while sobbing, and says, oh, pee,

991
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 4: can you pay for it? She sand bagged me in

992
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 4: the middle of that, in front of the kids. It

993
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 4: took her months before she paid me back, and was

994
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 4: embittered when she finally did. I think she was hoping

995
00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 4: I just let it go for the sake of the cat.

996
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 1: Never mind.

997
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,920
Speaker 4: She also dumped a sickly cat on me for years

998
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 4: and barely saw it at all, then lost her mind,

999
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 4: calling it her baby and said I was just giving

1000
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 4: up when the vet said the cat needed to be

1001
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:06,879
Speaker 4: put down. There were a couple of other small money

1002
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 4: lending situations during that time. I can't remember for what,

1003
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:11,919
Speaker 4: but like always, it was a chore to get paid back.

1004
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 3: Stop it.

1005
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 4: I don't have any sympathy for you now if you

1006
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 4: continue to lend her money while it is not lending

1007
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 4: per se.

1008
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:20,399
Speaker 1: Once.

1009
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 4: Around that time, I paid a visit to my sister

1010
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 4: and was very tired when I was at her house,

1011
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:26,400
Speaker 4: so I took a nap on her couch. I had

1012
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,799
Speaker 4: a habit of taking my wallet, phone, and anything else

1013
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 4: in my pockets and putting them in my hat on

1014
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 4: the end table before sleeping on the couch. Well after

1015
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,760
Speaker 4: I woke up, I found my stuff on the floor.

1016
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 4: My nephew's had gone through the stuff in my hat

1017
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,880
Speaker 4: and scattered it on the floor. They did this once

1018
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 4: when stealing my mother's purse to look for money in it.

1019
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 4: They thankfully didn't steal the cash in my wallet, but

1020
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 4: they stole all the loose change I had sitting in

1021
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 4: that hat. I was furious and demanded my sister get

1022
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 4: it all back. She was basically like, oh, light up,

1023
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 4: it's just some loose change. You're teaching your kids to steal.

1024
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 1: Stop it.

1025
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,360
Speaker 4: But she willingly let it happen, and as many know

1026
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 4: from reading my other posts, she's an absolutely terrible parent.

1027
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 4: Attitude about it pissed me off, so I demanded that

1028
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 4: I get all the change back, and even pointed out

1029
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 4: what kind of poor example she was setting for her kids.

1030
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 1: She tried to brush me off and.

1031
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,440
Speaker 4: Say they were just kids, but I pointed out how

1032
00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 4: she let them steal from me and how I wouldn't

1033
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 4: let that happen to her. So what kind of example

1034
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 4: was she setting by not punishing her kids for stealing.

1035
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 4: My sister ended up looking resigned to the fact I

1036
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 4: wasn't letting it go. She called her kids into the

1037
00:45:24,080 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 4: living room and told them to give the money back.

1038
00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 4: They tried to deny it with crap eating grins until

1039
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 4: I pointed out the facts, and then they started crying because.

1040
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 1: They didn't want to give it back. You're raising the

1041
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 1: little monsters everyone hates.

1042
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 5: It's like, Okay, boohoo, give it back.

1043
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,000
Speaker 4: It's better to do this now than them try to

1044
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:44,320
Speaker 4: pull this with the police. Yeah when they're older. Yeah,

1045
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 4: they had to go into their rooms and look for it.

1046
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,920
Speaker 4: They only found about two thirds of it to return

1047
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 4: to me, but enough of an example was made. They

1048
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 4: never stole money from me again. My sister acted like

1049
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 4: I went too far, and I told her those boys

1050
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 4: needed that discipline or they'd never stop. After my sister

1051
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 4: destroyed her marriage and she and her husband split, she

1052
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 4: ended up moving into an old trailer on our family property.

1053
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 4: She had fourteen thousand dollars to her name from her

1054
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:08,800
Speaker 4: half of the house sale. When she and her ex split,

1055
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 4: manufactured home in a trailer park. After moving in, she

1056
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,240
Speaker 4: was asked about getting a job. Then she'd get weepy

1057
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:16,279
Speaker 4: and say she wanted to spend the summer with her

1058
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,839
Speaker 4: kids and couldn't imagine not having that time with them.

1059
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 4: We were like, okay, fair, but you'll get a job

1060
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:23,920
Speaker 4: once the kids go back to school, right. My sister

1061
00:46:24,239 --> 00:46:27,400
Speaker 4: promised that she'd get that job once summer ended. Well,

1062
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,680
Speaker 4: summer ended and she didn't get that job, And when

1063
00:46:29,719 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 4: confronted again, she used crocodile tears and whined that she

1064
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 4: couldn't imagine being away from her boys even though they

1065
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 4: were in school, and she was just hiding in that

1066
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 4: old trailer all day or going out drinking with friends.

1067
00:46:42,080 --> 00:46:44,720
Speaker 1: So we're not giving her any more money, right.

1068
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 5: Right, we've learned by now, right, right? Right?

1069
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,279
Speaker 1: Please tell me this story doesn't end up with you

1070
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:50,239
Speaker 1: giving her more money.

1071
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 5: Right, Certainly the title doesn't mean anything.

1072
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,319
Speaker 4: I can't afford the stuff for my kids, Well, then

1073
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:57,120
Speaker 4: they can come stay with me until you get back

1074
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:57,560
Speaker 4: on your feet.

1075
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,400
Speaker 1: Just literally, no, shame in that that's happened in like

1076
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:00,200
Speaker 1: my own family.

1077
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 4: It's been like where it's like, yeah, we are having

1078
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 4: problems with finances, we can't afford stuff.

1079
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: Okay, come stay with us. Yeah. It's like the solution

1080
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:09,319
Speaker 1: is not don't give her any more money.

1081
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 5: Please love God, help her out where you can, but

1082
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:14,560
Speaker 5: don't give her more money. Uh okay.

1083
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 4: This confrontation happened multiple times. Eventually, my sister spent herself

1084
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:20,839
Speaker 4: into a hole and begged her soon to be ex

1085
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 4: husband to get back together with her. So he moved

1086
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,200
Speaker 4: into the trailer, but my sister told everyone it was

1087
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 4: his idea, and she even made him buy her a

1088
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 4: couple of dogs because.

1089
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:33,320
Speaker 5: That's what we needed, more financial responsibility.

1090
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 4: More things to feed. She was also completely ungrateful when

1091
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 4: he bought her a refurbished fridge. Soon enough, he couldn't

1092
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 4: take it anymore and started house hunting. That's when my

1093
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:44,480
Speaker 4: sister really had no choice but to finally get a job.

1094
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 4: My sister finally got a job to have her own income,

1095
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:49,760
Speaker 4: and then she decided she wanted a brand new trailer.

1096
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 4: I didn't find out for years that she had talked

1097
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 4: our grandparents into completely signing for the trailer's mortgage. My

1098
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 4: sister also had to get her water and power from

1099
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 4: my house, which is a sub building I rent from

1100
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:03,240
Speaker 4: my parents. Well, she doubled my electric bill and would

1101
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 4: pay me her half in cash, but she often delayed

1102
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:08,279
Speaker 4: for months. People told me over and over again to

1103
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 4: shut her power off since she wouldn't pay, but my

1104
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 4: nephews were living in there with her five days a week.

1105
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 1: I couldn't cut the power and leave them cold.

1106
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 4: I was paying the power bill by check, and then

1107
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:19,920
Speaker 4: my sister convinced me to pay it digitally through her phone,

1108
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,479
Speaker 4: which took like five minutes each time it was done,

1109
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:24,200
Speaker 4: and no matter what kind of day she had or

1110
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 4: was having, she'd hammerr haw about paying the bill. It

1111
00:48:27,040 --> 00:48:28,880
Speaker 4: was out of my dang account and I had to

1112
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:30,719
Speaker 4: force her to get on the phone and do it

1113
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 4: almost every time. And then there was the money she

1114
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 4: owed me in winter. She drove up my bill to

1115
00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,320
Speaker 4: over five hundred dollars a month. I'm on a fixed

1116
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 4: income and that was basically half of what I got

1117
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:43,319
Speaker 4: a month back then, and she wasn't paying her half,

1118
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:45,480
Speaker 4: so I started keeping a record on paper of how

1119
00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 4: much she owed. She really didn't like finding out about that.

1120
00:48:48,719 --> 00:48:51,439
Speaker 4: Once I confronted my sister over how she kept going

1121
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 4: out to bars with friends and spending so much on

1122
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 4: drinks and other things.

1123
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 1: When she owed me hundreds of dollars, she looked me.

1124
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:00,120
Speaker 4: Right in the eye and said, I'm not changing in

1125
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:01,280
Speaker 4: my life for your sake.

1126
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:05,919
Speaker 5: Woo. Then I'm not donating anything else to you for

1127
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 5: your sake or helping you anymore.

1128
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm gonna donate you some winter jackets so that

1129
00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 4: when I cut the power off at the house, you

1130
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 4: guys can stay warm.

1131
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 1: Yeah mm hmmmm. So I doubled down on making her

1132
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 1: pay me back.

1133
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:21,759
Speaker 4: She owed me around five hundred dollars at the time,

1134
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 4: and showed up at my door with one hundred dollar

1135
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 4: bill and acted like that was enough. I took the

1136
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 4: hundred and said she had four hundred left to pay.

1137
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 4: She looked at me like I had two heads and said,

1138
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 4: but I paid you, And I said, you made a payment,

1139
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 4: you didn't pay at all.

1140
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 1: She doesn't even know how bills work.

1141
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 4: She gave me that look like it didn't mentally compute

1142
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 4: and repeated, but I paid you, And I had to

1143
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:44,080
Speaker 4: tell her one hundred dollars is not five hundred dollars,

1144
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:45,840
Speaker 4: you still owe me the rest?

1145
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:49,320
Speaker 1: She frowned and walked off. I knew what she was doing.

1146
00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 4: She was trying to short change me and make me

1147
00:49:51,719 --> 00:49:54,520
Speaker 4: call it even, but I didn't. Before long, I stopped

1148
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 4: paying the electric bill digitally and went back to paying

1149
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 4: with a check because my sister always made it such

1150
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,319
Speaker 4: a pain. When my sister finally noticed, she was like,

1151
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:03,040
Speaker 4: why would you pay with a check in the mail

1152
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 4: when we could just use my phone? And I told

1153
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,760
Speaker 4: her to face that it's because she acted so dramatic

1154
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:10,040
Speaker 4: every time it was time to pay and made it

1155
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,560
Speaker 4: a complete hassle just to do it every month when

1156
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:13,640
Speaker 4: it took so little time.

1157
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 1: She couldn't even retort. She just looked away with a

1158
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:17,560
Speaker 1: bitter face.

1159
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 4: She asked me the same thing one more time on

1160
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 4: another day, and I gave her the same reply. At

1161
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:24,359
Speaker 4: this point, I think it was more about control than

1162
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 4: the money. My sister wanted me dependent on her. She

1163
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 4: went through a bad phase of trying to mom me

1164
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 4: after moving into the new trailer, and I had to

1165
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:33,800
Speaker 4: tell her off for it, But she was also constantly

1166
00:50:33,800 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 4: trying to get me to pick her over our mother.

1167
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 4: Our last confrontation made it clear that was not going

1168
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:41,640
Speaker 4: to happen. My sister eventually paid her debts to me off,

1169
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:44,520
Speaker 4: but she racked them right back up again. Around this time,

1170
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 4: she had a terrible boyfriend that only made her worse.

1171
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 4: She wasn't paying her half of the power bill at

1172
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:51,879
Speaker 4: all and just kept stalling whenever asked. Our mother got

1173
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 4: involved and had it out with her. She went down

1174
00:50:54,520 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 4: there and yelled at her that I'm on a fixed

1175
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 4: income and she was draining me financially. Soon I got

1176
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 4: a four to apology and a promise for repayment. She

1177
00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 4: and her boyfriend paid me a few hundred and that

1178
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 4: helped me get through the holidays, but the debt was

1179
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,840
Speaker 4: racked right back up again. My sister owed me a

1180
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 4: lot and then asked me for a loan of one

1181
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 4: hundred dollars twice. On top of it, she gave me

1182
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,879
Speaker 4: the classic line from substance users. You know I'm good

1183
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 4: to pay you back. She freaking wasn't. She was spending

1184
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 4: most of her money on substances and booze, and she

1185
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 4: didn't even buy winter clothes for her children. I had

1186
00:51:26,120 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 4: to buy them after my youngest nephew came to me

1187
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:30,360
Speaker 4: in a T shirt and shorts and thirty nine degrees.

1188
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:32,439
Speaker 4: And I'm not counting the two hundred dollars I spent

1189
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:34,400
Speaker 4: on those clothes, and another one hundred and twenty I

1190
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 4: gave her out of pity. Later she owed me eight

1191
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 4: hundred bucks and still does. That's money I'll probably never

1192
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 4: see again, but I'm not gonna forget it, that's for sure.

1193
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 4: The last time I saw my sister, we got in

1194
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:46,879
Speaker 4: a shouting match, and among the things I yelled at her,

1195
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 4: I brought up the eight hundred dollars she owes me.

1196
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 4: She made a shocked face that tells me she totally forgot,

1197
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,399
Speaker 4: and then she quickly yelled about something else.

1198
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 5: Oh my god, how do you show up with one

1199
00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 5: hundred dollars thinking that that equals five hundre when in

1200
00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 5: reality it's actually like eight hundred that you owe, and

1201
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 5: then think that you have the like entitlement to have

1202
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,720
Speaker 5: any control over the situation that someone else is doing

1203
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 5: for you.

1204
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:14,840
Speaker 1: I want to cut her off forever ago. Yeah, it's like,

1205
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: but we don't have power. I'd be like, because you

1206
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 1: didn't pay.

1207
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 5: It, you should probably pay that so you have power. Again.

1208
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 4: That's what happens every single place where you live. If

1209
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,680
Speaker 4: you don't pay the bill, whatever you are not paying

1210
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:26,560
Speaker 4: for goes.

1211
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,279
Speaker 5: Away, even if it was on my card and I

1212
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 5: agreed to do the power the second that she's not

1213
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:36,720
Speaker 5: like she's giving me trouble for doing the five minute

1214
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:38,800
Speaker 5: phone call to pay the bill, I'd be like, Okay,

1215
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:41,400
Speaker 5: I guess we're not doing it. No, I not for

1216
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:42,879
Speaker 5: to pay, but I guess we're not doing it now.

1217
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:45,399
Speaker 1: It's not like she'll ever willingly pay me back.

1218
00:52:45,520 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 4: I've got no proof to take her to small acclaims

1219
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 4: court either, not that she has the money. She keeps

1220
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:51,960
Speaker 4: moving to someplace else, like every six months because she

1221
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:53,920
Speaker 4: doesn't have a stable income. The thing that got my

1222
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,919
Speaker 4: sister evicted from the family property was Thanksgiving twenty twenty three.

1223
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,160
Speaker 4: We went out for Chinese food because no one wanted

1224
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 4: to cook. When they went out for dinner, my sister

1225
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,799
Speaker 4: went to go gamble in the room with all those

1226
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 4: machines in the back by the bar. She spent most

1227
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 4: of the dinner back there and then came back bragging

1228
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:10,400
Speaker 4: about how she'd won one hundred and thirty bucks and

1229
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 4: then dropped the money on the table in front of

1230
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:14,880
Speaker 4: us with a big smile on her face, never mind

1231
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 4: that she owed us all money, me eight hundred and

1232
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 4: our parents and grandparents thousands. She made two payments to

1233
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:22,799
Speaker 4: our grandparents after being evicted, and none of us have

1234
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 4: seen a dime from her since that Thanksgiving. As my

1235
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:28,960
Speaker 4: sister smugly returned to the table, she started blatantly ignoring

1236
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 4: most of us.

1237
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:31,720
Speaker 5: I think I'd pick that money right off the table

1238
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,880
Speaker 5: and be like, great, now you have three hundred and sixty.

1239
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you'd have six hundred and seventy.

1240
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:38,839
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, we're going to date.

1241
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's just for me. Let's split that up

1242
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 1: among everyone evenly.

1243
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1244
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:45,640
Speaker 4: I tried to talk to her repeatedly, and our stepfather

1245
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:48,760
Speaker 4: finally called her out. It resulted in a big scene,

1246
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,279
Speaker 4: and my sister took her kids and stormed out. Our

1247
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:53,319
Speaker 4: mother trailed after to try and calm her down, but

1248
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,880
Speaker 4: my sister spit venommet her. Our mother finally hit her

1249
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 4: breaking point and told her she could get off of

1250
00:53:58,480 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 4: her property.

1251
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 1: She drew up a written eviction.

1252
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,520
Speaker 4: Later, my sister left us with her trailer mortgage since

1253
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:05,879
Speaker 4: her name wasn't on it, and basically just walked away

1254
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:07,920
Speaker 4: to go do substances with her next boyfriend.

1255
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:09,800
Speaker 5: I think, oh, where are the kids.

1256
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the story.

1257
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:12,359
Speaker 5: Worried about the kids.

1258
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,239
Speaker 4: We need to get CPS involved if you realize that

1259
00:54:15,320 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 4: she's using, she's drinking, she's gambling, she's with a beat boyfriend.

1260
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:23,600
Speaker 1: Get the kids out of there. Yeah, Sam, here og host.

1261
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:25,319
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to these stories. But here's

1262
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:26,880
Speaker 1: three minutes fads from our sponsors.

1263
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 5: First, my sister is a terrible driver. It made me

1264
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 5: want to cut her off.

1265
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:34,800
Speaker 1: Oh like, without even using your blinker.

1266
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 5: My sister herself is a terrible driver. I've spoken at

1267
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,680
Speaker 5: length about how she'd drink and drive, how she's a

1268
00:54:42,760 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 5: leadfoot text while driving, et cetera. She'd drive a minivan

1269
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:49,880
Speaker 5: seventy miles per hour in a thirty five zone with

1270
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 5: kids in the car and say the kids loved it

1271
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:54,440
Speaker 5: because it was like a roller coaster.

1272
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 1: Actually, prosecute her. I'm not even kidding. No, get her

1273
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:01,839
Speaker 1: off the road, none of that. That is cool. Prosecution.

1274
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:05,880
Speaker 5: Yeah. She even scared her eldest son by driving so

1275
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:08,880
Speaker 5: fast his hat blew off and he didn't have his

1276
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,760
Speaker 5: head out the window. He was scared to even open

1277
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:14,880
Speaker 5: the window of other vehicles while riding with other people

1278
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 5: for a while. By the way, this comes from the

1279
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 5: Foxtrot eighty six and if you want to submit your

1280
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:23,400
Speaker 5: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1281
00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:25,799
Speaker 1: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota.

1282
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 5: And Opie says, but my sister is just as bad

1283
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 5: as a ride along because she's either a backseat driver,

1284
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:37,839
Speaker 5: gives terrible directions, is wasted, or insults your driving. And

1285
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:40,600
Speaker 5: for the record, I wanted to report her bad driving

1286
00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 5: to the police, but my family went off on me

1287
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 5: for even having the idea, which is the only reason

1288
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:49,240
Speaker 5: I never did. I currently don't know where my sister

1289
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:52,080
Speaker 5: lives or if she even has a car. She's a

1290
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 5: substance regular user, not exactly swimming in money, and her

1291
00:55:56,239 --> 00:55:59,560
Speaker 5: oldest son is an adult now. And yes, I'm aware

1292
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:02,239
Speaker 5: I should still have done something. I've been called a

1293
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:04,680
Speaker 5: coward and I owned up to that. But my sister

1294
00:56:04,719 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 5: had us all mentally drained for years and used her

1295
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:11,960
Speaker 5: kids as emotional blackmail. But now she can't do that anymore.

1296
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 4: To be clear, if anyone is relating to this story,

1297
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 4: reporting your family member who drives like this could literally

1298
00:56:17,719 --> 00:56:19,800
Speaker 4: save someone's life, including their own children.

1299
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 1: Including themselves.

1300
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:23,760
Speaker 5: It's very important to report this. Let's start with seat belts.

1301
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:26,759
Speaker 5: My nephews for a while had a bad habit of

1302
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:30,400
Speaker 5: ripping their seatbelts off as soon as their destination was

1303
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,839
Speaker 5: in sight. I'd have them in my car, and as

1304
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 5: soon as they could see home off in the distance,

1305
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,520
Speaker 5: they'd rip their seatbelts off. I got mad at them

1306
00:56:37,520 --> 00:56:40,719
Speaker 5: several times and always forced them to rebuckle till we

1307
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 5: were parked. They'd give me grief, say it was no

1308
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:47,120
Speaker 5: big deal, et cetera, but I held firm, You ride

1309
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,720
Speaker 5: with me, the belts stay on till we are parked.

1310
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:53,280
Speaker 5: After this happened several times, they finally got the memo

1311
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 5: and stopped doing it. They wouldn't tell me where they

1312
00:56:55,640 --> 00:56:57,440
Speaker 5: learned it from, though I thought it might have been

1313
00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:00,440
Speaker 5: their father, but nope. Turned out to be Misis. I

1314
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 5: was driving her home and as soon as home was

1315
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 5: in sight, she ripped her seatbelt off, and I went

1316
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:07,879
Speaker 5: off on her for doing it and setting a bad

1317
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:11,440
Speaker 5: example for her kids. She called me dramatic and tried

1318
00:57:11,440 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 5: to act like it was no big deal. But I

1319
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:16,439
Speaker 5: didn't let it go and hammered her till she said

1320
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:18,920
Speaker 5: she'd never do it again. She did, but I hammered

1321
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:22,720
Speaker 5: her again until she stopped. My sister absolutely could not

1322
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 5: stand anyone driving slow when riding with them. Every freaking

1323
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 5: time she'd ride with me, unless she was zoned out

1324
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:31,600
Speaker 5: on her phone, she'd complain about me driving too slow.

1325
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,800
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, I was going the speed limit. She twice

1326
00:57:34,840 --> 00:57:37,600
Speaker 5: debated how fast I should be driving through a school zone.

1327
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:40,320
Speaker 5: The zone was twenty miles per hour on weekdays from

1328
00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:43,360
Speaker 5: seven to five pm, unless it was weekends or summer,

1329
00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:46,480
Speaker 5: but when school was not active, it was a forty

1330
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:49,960
Speaker 5: mile power zone. I slowed down to exactly forty and

1331
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 5: my sister started demanding I go forty five and claimed

1332
00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:55,880
Speaker 5: it was forty five through there, and she refused to

1333
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:58,080
Speaker 5: believe me when I said it was forty. Thankfully, the

1334
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 5: school zone had more than one sign, and I pointed

1335
00:58:00,560 --> 00:58:02,760
Speaker 5: to one that said forty on it, and she pouted

1336
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:06,160
Speaker 5: and shut up. This situation actually happened a second time.

1337
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 2: Brother.

1338
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:09,520
Speaker 4: Look, I don't have any siblings, but I gotta imagine

1339
00:58:09,560 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 4: if this was my sibling, I'd just be like, shut up,

1340
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:12,920
Speaker 4: you're the worst driver right now.

1341
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 5: I'd feel be like, shut up, are you driving right now? No?

1342
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:16,680
Speaker 5: Because you're terrible at it.

1343
00:58:17,040 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 1: Shut up your horrible driver, and then you turn up

1344
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 1: the volume on the radio.

1345
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 5: My sister would act grateful for rides, but then would

1346
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 5: either distract you and think it was funny when you

1347
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:27,840
Speaker 5: got mad, or insult your driving. Once, when I was

1348
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:30,840
Speaker 5: driving my nephews in her home, her arm shot out

1349
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 5: in front of my face and she yelled dear, scared

1350
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 5: the crap out of me, and she thought it was hilarious,

1351
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 5: even though I could have lost control of the car.

1352
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 5: I went off on her and she forced out an

1353
00:58:42,960 --> 00:58:46,760
Speaker 5: insincere apology. Thankfully she never did that again. Yeah, because

1354
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:50,120
Speaker 5: she wouldn't be getting rides again if she did that again. Yeah,

1355
00:58:50,120 --> 00:58:51,080
Speaker 5: you're not right in my car.

1356
00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,000
Speaker 4: Honestly, I'm not giving you a ride by after you

1357
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:54,880
Speaker 4: do that and you're like that was funny. I'm like,

1358
00:58:54,960 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 4: you're the biggest idiot I've ever met, and I don't

1359
00:58:57,520 --> 00:58:59,720
Speaker 4: care that you're my sister call an uber.

1360
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 5: Even though my sister is a terrible driver, a leadfoot,

1361
00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:07,160
Speaker 5: neglectful of her own vehicles, guilty of multiple accidents, and

1362
00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:11,680
Speaker 5: a DUI, she always criticized my driving. Once I forgot

1363
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 5: to use my turn signal when pulling into a parking lot,

1364
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:17,440
Speaker 5: even though I carefully slowed down, she went off on

1365
00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:20,080
Speaker 5: me about the turn signal. Never mind I had her

1366
00:59:20,200 --> 00:59:22,800
Speaker 5: and three very distracting kids in the car. And then

1367
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:25,440
Speaker 5: after I pulled into the parking lot, she pointed at

1368
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:28,479
Speaker 5: me and said to her kids, you see, I'd never

1369
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 5: forget to do that. The only reason I didn't go

1370
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 5: off on her was because the kids were there.

1371
00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:35,600
Speaker 4: I would genuinely be like, why don't we explain to

1372
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:38,160
Speaker 4: the kids what DUI is? Why don't we explain how

1373
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 4: many DUIs?

1374
00:59:39,120 --> 00:59:41,080
Speaker 1: I have? Zero and how many you have?

1375
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:44,680
Speaker 5: Then there was my sister giving directions. She was fine

1376
00:59:44,720 --> 00:59:47,840
Speaker 5: if she wasn't wasted or distracted. Once, when she paid

1377
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 5: me to drive her and her friends out bar hopping.

1378
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:52,959
Speaker 5: When it was time to go home, my sister insisted

1379
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 5: I take her way on the back roads, and I

1380
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:58,200
Speaker 5: kept telling her the main road with practically no traffic

1381
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 5: it was faster at night, but no, she had to

1382
01:00:01,720 --> 01:00:04,120
Speaker 5: have her way. She got us lost in a maze

1383
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 5: of neighborhoods. Once I figured out where the main road

1384
01:00:06,720 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 5: was again, I headed for that, and she threw a

1385
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 5: tantrum because I wasn't going her way. We got on

1386
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:15,760
Speaker 5: the main road and sailed right on out in less

1387
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:18,160
Speaker 5: than a minute, and she kept complaining her way would

1388
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,520
Speaker 5: have been faster. Then there was when she ended up

1389
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:24,480
Speaker 5: homeless after burning nearly all friend and family bridges. I

1390
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 5: was driving her and all her stuff to the place

1391
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:28,920
Speaker 5: she was allowed to crash for a couple of days,

1392
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 5: and she kept zoning out on her phone and wouldn't

1393
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,800
Speaker 5: look up to give me directions till the absolute last second,

1394
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 5: and I had to yell at her to look up

1395
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:38,720
Speaker 5: and tell me where to go, And then she'd get

1396
01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 5: mad and say she was busy, like I could just

1397
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:43,840
Speaker 5: automatically know where to go without her. She put me

1398
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:46,440
Speaker 5: through days of that crap. Is about that time when

1399
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:47,800
Speaker 5: I went no contact with her.

1400
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:50,520
Speaker 4: God, I would rather be put in the ground than

1401
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:51,920
Speaker 4: go on a road trip with this woman.

1402
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:52,960
Speaker 1: Go no contact.

1403
01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 4: This is clearly not a story about salvaging a relationship.

1404
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 4: This is you should have done it earlier. Honestly, the

1405
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 4: moment she had pulled that, You see, kids, Mommy would

1406
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:03,360
Speaker 4: have never.

1407
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 1: Forgotten to turn her turn signal and you go into

1408
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 1: the parking.

1409
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 4: Lot, I genuinely would have Oh did you forget to

1410
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:11,440
Speaker 4: not drink before you drive before you got that DUI like,

1411
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,440
Speaker 4: I'm not even kidding. I'd be like, it's time, I'm

1412
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 4: lighting it on fire right now, it's over. I do

1413
01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:19,560
Speaker 4: not play about that kind of stuff. I pride myself

1414
01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:21,880
Speaker 4: on being a good and safe driver as well. So

1415
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,800
Speaker 4: if someone who was the worst driver I had ever

1416
01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:25,600
Speaker 4: seen in my life.

1417
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 5: Safe driver, his car just links to test.

1418
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:30,120
Speaker 1: It's true and that's neither here nor there.

1419
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:34,160
Speaker 5: Then there was driving her while she was wasted. Now

1420
01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 5: that was a nightmare. Once she and her husband both

1421
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 5: got wasted and I had to drive her and her

1422
01:01:39,760 --> 01:01:42,080
Speaker 5: entire family home. As soon as we were all in

1423
01:01:42,120 --> 01:01:45,280
Speaker 5: the car and I'd backed out, she suddenly grabbed my

1424
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:48,800
Speaker 5: shifter and shifted it into drive with a big grin

1425
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:51,880
Speaker 5: on her face. Then was angry. I was mad at

1426
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 5: her for doing it. She acted like it was no

1427
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,680
Speaker 5: big deal and I should have been grateful she did it.

1428
01:01:56,800 --> 01:02:00,040
Speaker 5: She apologized later, but I kind of doubt it was genuine,

1429
01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:02,520
Speaker 5: and she probably just didn't want to lose her emergency

1430
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:03,560
Speaker 5: brother Taxi Brother.

1431
01:02:03,880 --> 01:02:06,960
Speaker 1: I'm literally pulling her out of my car. I don't care.

1432
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:11,400
Speaker 4: I'm putting it in part the farthest.

1433
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:12,720
Speaker 5: That she can in my car, and if she still

1434
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:16,240
Speaker 5: tries something she's out. Then, of course, was her wasted

1435
01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 5: backseat driving, which I explained in the above paragraph.

1436
01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:22,240
Speaker 1: You need like a limo partition to just like come up.

1437
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:23,440
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1438
01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:25,320
Speaker 5: And then there was the time she drove to work

1439
01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 5: in the morning wasted. She worked two miles away at

1440
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:30,760
Speaker 5: the time. She had to call me and beg me

1441
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:32,960
Speaker 5: to come get her because her boss was sending her

1442
01:02:32,960 --> 01:02:36,080
Speaker 5: home since she showed up wasted and her boss wasn't

1443
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:39,120
Speaker 5: letting her drive herself back. I confronted her about why

1444
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:41,640
Speaker 5: she was wasted in the morning and went to work

1445
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 5: like that, and she admitted to me that she just

1446
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 5: doesn't like being told what to do. I told her

1447
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:48,840
Speaker 5: that when you have a job, being told what to

1448
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:51,600
Speaker 5: do is par for the course unless you're the boss,

1449
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 5: which she was not. She just looked bitter and got

1450
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,880
Speaker 5: out of my truck. The last major incident I drove

1451
01:02:56,920 --> 01:02:59,000
Speaker 5: her while she was wasted. She had a friend with

1452
01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:01,439
Speaker 5: her and we stopped her friend's place because her friend

1453
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:04,120
Speaker 5: wanted to have a sleepover at my sister's place. They

1454
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:06,440
Speaker 5: just wanted to pick up some clothes. I waited in

1455
01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:09,640
Speaker 5: my truck for forty five minutes before finally going in

1456
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:11,960
Speaker 5: to get them, I caught them sitting on the floor

1457
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,520
Speaker 5: with a bottle of booze. My sister looked up at

1458
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:17,440
Speaker 5: me like she'd just been caught by a parent. They

1459
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:20,280
Speaker 5: just decided to get more wasted while I was waiting

1460
01:03:20,320 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 5: for them. My sister couldn't even tell she wasn't at home.

1461
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 5: She kept talking about the carpet. I had to forcibly

1462
01:03:26,640 --> 01:03:29,080
Speaker 5: drag her hour and throw her in my truck and

1463
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:32,400
Speaker 5: buckle her myself. Then on the way home, she unbuckled

1464
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:35,520
Speaker 5: to have a slapping playfight with her friend in the

1465
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 5: back seat, climbed over the center console, shoved her button

1466
01:03:39,000 --> 01:03:42,120
Speaker 5: my face, then literally got stuck between the back seat

1467
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:44,640
Speaker 5: and center console, so I had to pull her out.

1468
01:03:44,840 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 1: Okay, that's correct.

1469
01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:48,080
Speaker 5: And then she kept trying to walk to the road

1470
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:51,040
Speaker 5: and say home was that way, So I had to

1471
01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 5: drag her into her trailer, throw her onto bed, and

1472
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:57,600
Speaker 5: tell her I was done before going home. I went

1473
01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:59,840
Speaker 5: off on her the next day and made her and

1474
01:03:59,840 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 5: her her friend reimburse me for wasted gas and letting

1475
01:04:03,040 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 5: my truck idle for nearly an hour waiting for them.

1476
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:08,720
Speaker 5: I would have stopped giving this lady brides.

1477
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 1: Forever ago, and honestly, and you've already said that.

1478
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:12,960
Speaker 4: It's like looking back on it, and it's like people have

1479
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 4: called said you were cowardly or whatever, but I think

1480
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 4: you can be hard on yourself. But it's like, clearly

1481
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:18,600
Speaker 4: you were put in an environment where it was like

1482
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 4: you'd never do anything to family or whatever. Should no

1483
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:24,200
Speaker 4: one else did, so it's like you're not alone in.

1484
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:26,200
Speaker 5: This, but report her now.

1485
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:28,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, you really should have gotten it to the point

1486
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:31,360
Speaker 4: where at least her license was revoked.

1487
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:34,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, or put on some sort of like probationary period again,

1488
01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:36,440
Speaker 5: like a learnerment or something.

1489
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 4: Or so, and she clearly needed some kind of intervention

1490
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:42,960
Speaker 4: because she's drinking so much, Like time she's got kids

1491
01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 4: in the car. She's driving seventy and a thirty five

1492
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:47,200
Speaker 4: with kids in the car, saying that it's fun seventy.

1493
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:49,800
Speaker 5: In a thirty five, which is also a school zone,

1494
01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:52,040
Speaker 5: so not only are their kids in the car, she's

1495
01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 5: surrounded by kids.

1496
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:56,400
Speaker 4: It's just like, yeah, crazy, this was in no way.

1497
01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:57,760
Speaker 4: I don't know how you put up with it for

1498
01:04:57,800 --> 01:04:58,160
Speaker 4: so long.

1499
01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:01,680
Speaker 5: Then there was the crap Mice would say, while wasted,

1500
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:04,000
Speaker 5: she used to pay me to drive her out to bars,

1501
01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:06,240
Speaker 5: and she'd say we'd be out by ten or eleven,

1502
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:08,960
Speaker 5: and would somehow push it to one am. She has

1503
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:12,400
Speaker 5: no consideration for being on someone else's time and acted

1504
01:05:12,440 --> 01:05:15,000
Speaker 5: like I was a killjoy for wanting to go home.

1505
01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:17,360
Speaker 5: But on one of the last times I drove her

1506
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:19,680
Speaker 5: to a bar before she had her boyfriend take over,

1507
01:05:19,880 --> 01:05:23,120
Speaker 5: she suddenly started bawling while wasted and literally told me

1508
01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:25,880
Speaker 5: she was just waiting for our mother to pass away

1509
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:29,840
Speaker 5: and no one would be playing Ozzye at her funeral.

1510
01:05:30,480 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 3: What what?

1511
01:05:31,440 --> 01:05:33,520
Speaker 5: And right around the time I cut her off after

1512
01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:36,000
Speaker 5: driving her around for days, she told me our mother

1513
01:05:36,120 --> 01:05:39,400
Speaker 5: was going to pass away for crossing her because apparently

1514
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:42,200
Speaker 5: a few people she'd been wronged by passed away.

1515
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:47,040
Speaker 4: What is she implying that she's going to murk her

1516
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:51,120
Speaker 4: own mom? Your mom, the mom who, by the way,

1517
01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:52,760
Speaker 4: told you not to knock on her.

1518
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:55,680
Speaker 5: But after years of her saying and doing crap like that,

1519
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:58,600
Speaker 5: I finally snapped and blocked her on everything about a

1520
01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:02,160
Speaker 5: year ago, and my life has been much better since.

1521
01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:04,200
Speaker 5: That's the end of that story.