WEBVTT - Apologies for the Apologies with Jennifer Nettles 0:00:01.880 --> 0:00:05.320 Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:14.360 Hi girls, Hi, Hey, Okay, I have things I have 0:00:14.440 --> 0:00:18.400 to say. There's a lot of things to say. There's 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:22.800 a lot of things. Where would you like to start. 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:30.840 Let's start with the Tom's Oh Tom, Tom, Double Tom, 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:36.400 Double Tom. Because the apologies that the apologies have come out, 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:42.400 Tom sand of all you guys, I'm like invested in 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:45.040 a show that I've never watched. I literally didn't even 0:00:45.080 --> 0:00:47.040 know what these people look like. But I'm now invested. 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:48.880 I do know, and you know what, I just want 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:50.960 to I want to pause there and say that if 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:53.520 you've been invested since the very beginning of this show, 0:00:53.600 --> 0:00:57.080 I am by no means like, I'm not a bandwagoner. 0:00:57.320 --> 0:00:59.840 I just because of the topics discussed, feel a little 0:00:59.840 --> 0:01:01.840 more informed and so now I'm a little more invested 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:04.760 because they're getting a little defensive. The people that have 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:07.000 been like that have given their lives to the show, 0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:12.520 are now a little defense. Yeah, okay, would you like me? Oh? 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:15.280 Jackie just said, who broke it down? By the way, 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:16.840 a lot of people were like, thanks for breaking it down, 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:19.559 because we had no idea either. It was intense. Jackie 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:22.080 broke it down first, and she just said we welcome bandwagoners. 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:24.680 That sounds like you're one of the good ones, Jackie. 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:27.880 So would you like to Would you like for me 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:33.080 to read Tom Sandoval's apology? Did we not already hear his? Well, 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:39.399 all he did was say about his shorts and Sandy 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:42.399 bar and this is where we get off the danda wagon, 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:45.600 and we've hopped off. Okay, so we did another. He 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:48.480 did another apology. He needed to because because he didn't 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:52.280 mention Arianna. I know that first one was not even 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:54.160 enough to read or not to read. That's the question 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:59.480 to read. Copy that. I want to first and foremost, 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:02.000 apology to everyone I've heard through this process. Most of all, 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:04.400 I want to apologize to Ariana. I made mistakes. I 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:08.760 was selfish and made reckless decisions that hurt somebody I love. 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:11.480 No one deserves to feel that pain so traumatically and publicly. 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:15.280 Copy that, Amen. I can only imagine how devastating this 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:17.239 has been for Arianna and everyone around us. I feel 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:20.200 horrible about that. My biggest regret is that I dishonored Ariana. 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:22.680 I never meant to disappoint so many people, including our 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:26.680 loving families and friends. My love for Ariana was stronger 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.320 than any camera could have ever captured. Some of our 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:33.480 best times together were never filmed the same ghost for 0:02:33.520 --> 0:02:35.800 some of our biggest struggles. I wish things happened in 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:40.240 a different order and our relationship was not severely tarnished, 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:43.400 and that it ended with the same respect with for 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:46.720 her that it began with. I owed Ariana better. I 0:02:46.760 --> 0:02:48.520 am beyond sad that it ended the way that it did. 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:50.880 The choices I made hurt so many people. I acted 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:53.200 in a way that clashes with who and how I 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:55.079 want to be. I will continue to reflect and work 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:57.080 on myself. I have work to do, I always have 0:02:57.240 --> 0:03:01.280 and I always will. I wish that was the first 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:06.080 apology I agree with. It's a little cheapened to me 0:03:06.200 --> 0:03:08.160 that we came out with the sandy bar or whatever 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:12.880 it was. Thing first I agree with that, but then 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:15.840 I also think, well, he needed to take a second 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:21.160 with it to really sit with how because I just 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:24.240 don't think I'm glad he did take a second. I 0:03:24.280 --> 0:03:27.000 just wish he would have maybe mentioned something like I 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:30.960 have to formulate my thoughts around publicly apologizing Ariana. In 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:33.760 the meantime, please don't let my servers go broke because 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:35.640 you don't want to like that would have been well, 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:37.160 but here's the here's the thing, and I'm going to 0:03:37.240 --> 0:03:42.080 call myself out like my twenties cheating Janna, they're cheaters, 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:45.720 are selfish bottom line, I was selfish when I cheated. 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:50.480 I was selfish. Sure, So they don't really care. They're 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:52.200 not going to go to the person that they hurt 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:54.600 because that's not their main concern. What was his main 0:03:54.600 --> 0:04:00.440 concern at the Times bar? Yeah, oh yeah, I mean definitely. 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:03.440 And you know I said last week, and I don't 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:06.600 think it's a popular opinion. I don't like these public 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:09.920 apologies period. I don't like them. I don't think and 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:13.360 I'm very unpopular. I realized that. But to me, none 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:15.520 of it ever sounds sincere. You're saying it for a 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:18.679 millions of people, You're not saying it for the person 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:21.479 you hurt. And that's just where I never can take 0:04:21.520 --> 0:04:24.560 them fully seriously for what they are. Plus, I think 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:26.440 we all know too much on the back end on 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:28.719 like this industry side, where we know that a lot 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:30.800 of those apologies aren't written by the people that that 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.520 post them anyway doing it try and protect themselves, and 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:35.680 that that just I don't. I don't. I don't like them. 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.040 They're not They're not my thing, Devil's advocate. If it 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:40.640 was someone close to you that was in the public eye, 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:45.719 I'd want an apology publicly, wouldn't you be like, where's 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:48.960 the apology? Use you're there. They've opened their lives, right 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:51.400 like the Kardashians, every people that do the reality shows. 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:54.880 You open your lives up for people to be in 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:58.360 your life essentially, you know, I mean, you open yourself 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.520 up in here, Chris. You open so people feel like 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:05.440 they have a right to kind of dissect or whatever. 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:09.920 Wouldn't you want to them to or if someone did 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:13.440 that for then you to go. I feel deserved like 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:16.560 I should get like I'm sorry, Yes, but I almost 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:20.360 think that they deserve a sorry that's from him or her, 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:22.840 to them, to the people that were watching, to the 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:25.640 people that were invested. I'm sorry to you. That seems 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:27.840 sincere to I see what you're saying, Okay, And if 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:30.200 you want to mention, and yes, there are things I'm 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:32.359 dealing with the people that I hurt or whatever. But 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:34.080 if I'm that person that's hurt and I see a 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:37.680 public apology, but I'm not getting that personally f that 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:40.720 I don't want your public apology. I want you to 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:43.120 be sincere and talk to me for real about what 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:45.600 really happened, you know, And so it just seems so 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:48.640 I don't know, it just seems so like it's something 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:52.120 you have to do now ironically am writing between both 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:54.520 of you? Yeah, I mean, and I hear y'all like, 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:57.039 I mean, I'm glad he did that at the same time, 0:05:57.120 --> 0:06:00.200 especially after the first one. But it's just like, you 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:02.520 don't know, I mean, you know, is he really sorry? 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:04.320 Is he really saying sorry to her? Who knows? I 0:06:04.320 --> 0:06:08.920 don't know. Would you like to hear Raquel's apology? Oh? Yeah, okay, 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:13.680 I feel so in the No, there's no excuse. I 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:16.160 am not a victim and I must own my actions, 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:20.320 and I deeply regret hurting Arianna. I want to apologize 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:23.039 for my actions and my choices, foremost to Arianna and 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:25.880 to my friends and the fans, like you just said, 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:28.680 so invested in our relationships. There is no excuse. I'm 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:30.600 not a victim and I must own actions deeply regret 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:34.560 ran I am reflecting on my choices, speaking to a counselor, 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:37.000 and I'm learning things about myself, such as patterns of 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:42.000 codependency and addiction to being and feeling loved. I have 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:44.880 sought emotional validation through intimate connections that are not healthy 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:47.920 without regard for my own well being, sometimes negatively affecting others, 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:50.560 and often prioritize in the intimate connection over my friendships. 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:54.640 I'm taking steps to understand my behavior and make healthier choices. 0:06:55.600 --> 0:07:00.560 This is called love addiction. Is what this is? She 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:03.600 says that or did you say that? I'm saying that 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:08.040 because she didn't say that, but that is yes, yes, yes, 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:13.560 but that is the definition of a love addict, especially 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:16.600 like talking to account, like all the things around it, 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:19.640 because I've become counseling to end my unhealthy behavioral cycle, 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:21.760 learned to set stronger emotions. I mean, but this is. 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:28.720 And I was talking to another friend who is a 0:07:28.760 --> 0:07:32.280 love addict, and she was saying, you know this is 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:35.480 I mean, that's she's basically saying she's a love addict 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:37.640 without saying she's a love addict. So just your thoughts 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:42.880 on that. I like hers better. Hers doesn't bother me 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:45.160 as much. I don't know. I think there's a lot 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:47.560 of ownership, but there's a lot of ownership, and it 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:52.640 doesn't feel like she is forcing herself to apologize to 0:07:52.680 --> 0:07:54.400 these people, you know what I mean, it's just taking 0:07:54.400 --> 0:07:58.920 ownership what she's doing, apologize to the fans. You know, 0:07:59.040 --> 0:08:01.360 I don't know. I occurs better. What do you think 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:06.320 about the addiction piece of it? Oh, I think that 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:08.360 there's definitely true. I don't know anything about her, but 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:11.200 I think there's definitely truth to love addiction. Okay, but 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:14.320 correct me if I'm wrong. Did you believe or not 0:08:14.360 --> 0:08:17.880 believe in sex addiction? I don't know. I truly don't know. 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:21.600 So what would then be the difference between love addiction 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:25.160 and a sex addiction? We but like it really truly, 0:08:25.160 --> 0:08:27.560 because like that's it's blaming the same thing, right, So 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:30.320 she's basically saying, I did this because of my need 0:08:30.360 --> 0:08:33.800 to feel loved and wanted, valued and whatever. Sex addiction 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:35.880 is the same thing. You just have you know that 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:39.400 you commit the act? Well, she, I mean, she did both, right, 0:08:39.440 --> 0:08:42.080 And I don't know that much about love addiction, Like 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:46.480 I love addiction is basically I mean almost I'm not 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:49.080 gonna I'm gonna I'm not a therapist here, but from 0:08:49.080 --> 0:08:51.320 the Wood studies that i've or not studies, but all 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:55.480 the things that I've gone through with the past sex addiction. 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:58.280 There is the love addiction peace in there because it's 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:02.280 that filling that void, and then they take it basically 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:05.440 the step further with this, the sexual part of it 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:10.400 a validation to extreme levels. Yes, whereas a love addict 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:13.920 might just have an affair, a sex addict is calling 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:16.960 prostitutes and it can be you know, or can be 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:20.920 porn or whatever it is. But unhappy to answer your question, 0:09:21.120 --> 0:09:23.599 I still don't fully know how I feel about the 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:26.559 sex addiction piece. I think there were times I believed it. 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:28.760 There were times I felt like it felt like an excuse. 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:34.079 But can that be any addiction? Sure, I mean there's 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:36.199 times you can be an alcoholic, but that's an excuse, 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:39.800 you know. So I I don't know. I don't know. 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:42.480 That's a hard question because I I truly do not 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:45.280 know whether I how I feel about sex addiction. I mean, 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:47.880 obviously it's just a real thing, but I mean, really, 0:09:47.920 --> 0:09:50.160 you could put this in under the category right of 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:53.440 a love addiction too. I mean love it's saying okay, 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.480 well I'm a love addict, and to put the blame there. Sure, 0:09:56.720 --> 0:10:01.079 but wouldn't we all say no, not going to categorize 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:03.000 all of us in there. But I know twenties Jannah 0:10:03.160 --> 0:10:06.560 was a love addict. Twenties Kristen is a love addict. 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:09.400 I mean even you know, early thirties Janna love addict. 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:12.840 You know where it's like it's wanting to feel loved 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:16.680 and validated and hurting people along the way. And so 0:10:17.080 --> 0:10:20.560 it wasn't an excuse, that's just the pattern and that's 0:10:20.600 --> 0:10:24.640 the addiction, right yeah, along the way, and that's the 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:29.800 unfortunate the addiction. So it's like, there's that's just the 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:32.480 name for it, right were as some would be just 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:35.120 called a cheater. Like basically when I was talking to 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:37.760 you know, the conversation was actually with Rachel Yu coul Tell, 0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:40.240 she's like, we should talk about love addiction because you know, 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:43.360 when she was labeled the cheater, She's like, I was 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:47.720 going through things, you know, emotionally that like to feel 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:49.880 validated and loved. And yes, it sucks that it was 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:55.480 broke up a marriage, but you know, we all have 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:59.400 unhealthy we can we can all have unhealthy patterns, and 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:03.640 that's just that wasn't you know, I don't know, yeah, absolutely, 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:06.280 how do you feel Christen, okaybe you're a little quiet 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:07.560 there with your a little baby. Well, I just have 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:10.840 a little baby is not getting so little anymore. I 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:13.760 feel like I have swallowed a whole human struggling. That's 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:17.080 why I sit back here like this tiny person. Um. 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:22.320 I just I appreciate the ownership because I think sometimes 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:28.160 the title of addiction is sometimes I have to be 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.800 careful because people were. She also didn't say that. She 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.200 didn't say that no, no, I know, yeah, I'm just 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:36.720 talking in our outside of her. Yes, I appreciated her ownership. 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:40.920 That would be like a sentence period. I feel like, yeah, 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:45.280 that copy copy that. Um. I just I have a 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:48.520 hard time when people maybe use that as an excuser, 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:52.280 hide behind something without the ownership piece. So I appreciated 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:54.800 the reversal of it, if you will, right, Like not 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:57.400 saying I'm a love addict, yeah, just saying like this 0:11:57.480 --> 0:11:59.760 is the stuff I need to work on. This is 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:03.680 not okay, and I feel responsible for it, and I agree. 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:07.040 I just want to say again, I don't envy anyone making. 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:08.840 I don't know how old she is, but she doesn't 0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:10.920 look super old. I saw her picture for the first 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:14.120 time today. Jackie will let us know in about two seconds, 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.120 like her birthday is she's a Gemini that likes long 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:25.280 walks on the beach. Um, I just can yes, I 0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:28.520 mean looked back, we got back in the hot tub 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:31.360 time machine. You saw this Kristen thirteen years ago. Holy 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:36.480 Matt girl. I mean at twenty five, I thought I 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:38.000 was a good idea to do road rules. So let's 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:40.160 just start there. I mean that there's a lot of 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.600 growth to be had there, so I don't envy someone. 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:46.440 It's a very mature response for someone who has to 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:49.079 live and she's chosen too, and I get that. But 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:53.360 imagine making all your mistakes so publicly and then being 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:57.520 like with the world we have today. You know, it's 0:12:57.520 --> 0:12:59.480 like you're so young and you're making mistakes for the 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:02.400 whole world. Seem like you're learning from them while everybody 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:05.000 else is seeing them. Yeah. Yeah, and at an age 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:07.640 where you think it's a good idea, right. And I 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:10.320 think if we remember doing this test with my friend Brian, 0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:13.200 who's a sex and love addict, and she's we made 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:16.200 people because we were pitching the show about love addiction, 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:19.439 and we made people take the test if you're a 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:21.520 love addict and like there's like nine out of ten 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:25.080 people scored like that they were love addict because it's 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:28.880 we all want to feel loved and worthy and chosen, 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:33.800 and unfortunately it can go past a point where it's 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:36.960 harmful and it could be relationships. But also there's that 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:40.319 piece where it's like you don't even realize who you're 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.200 hurting in those moments, Like I can look back and 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:45.520 go God, like, that was so shitty of me, But 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:51.000 I was so in my own world of like wanting 0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:53.080 to feel validated, that I didn't even think about the 0:13:53.080 --> 0:14:09.960 other person. Right, going back to what you're saying earlier, like, yes, 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:13.760 I believe you can be addicted to anything. So to 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:15.600 take away that sex addiction thing, it's not that I 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.960 don't think it's a real thing. I absolutely think you 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:20.720 can be addicted to anything. I'm probably addicted to diet coke, 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:25.160 Like you can literally be addicted to anything. I just 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:28.080 think we can also hide behind it, like you said, 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:30.240 right right, you know, And and maybe part of hiding 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:33.720 behind it is not realizing who you're hurting in the process, 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:37.160 and maybe it does take therapy or learning to really 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:39.880 not you know, see past that point. I don't know 0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:41.960 I haven't been in that position, but well, if you 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:44.280 let it consume in, you go, well, I'm just I'm 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:45.880 just a sex addictor I'm just a love attic. This 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:49.280 is just what we do. Well, that's that's the piece 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:51.880 where it's like you have you don't even want to change. 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:54.120 It's like I think I look at like my AX 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:58.360 and people like they genuinely want to change. It's just hard, sure, 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.360 you know. And it's like I you know, in the 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:03.600 past too, like have to catch yourself to be like, Okay, 0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:05.760 you don't like that version, don't go back to like 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:07.880 to the response that you would want to go to 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:09.840 because you want someone to like you, or you want 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:12.280 someone to choose or you want someone to like show 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:15.840 you that like you're you know that you're worthy or whatever. 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:19.720 So it's like having to choose the right way is hard, 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:22.160 but you're acknowledging. And that's the people that just fall 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:24.040 back on it. That's the thing. Like you can go, Okay, 0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:26.360 I might be addicted to X, but you don't let 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:28.800 it just go well screw it. Yeah, I'm just gonna 0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:31.960 keep drinking it and not give a flying f Yeah, yeah, 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:33.920 I mean I do really love my diet coke. But 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:36.920 I do I really feel like half a one a day? 0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:39.280 I'm doing good. I thought you were like I thought 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:41.360 you were at zero a day. Yeah you kind of. 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:43.960 Oh no, I could it out for like shoes back 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:48.720 when what did they call this relapse? But when was 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:51.240 I to zero? I thought you were at zero? No? 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:55.200 Never did we not just travel together a month ago? Well, listen, 0:15:55.360 --> 0:15:59.320 I was so busy having seven lunches. I was no. 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:01.320 I actually it out for like a month one time. 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.240 Maybe that's anything a pound? This was like a year ago. Oh, 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:07.000 and I was like, screw this. So you did it 0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:10.600 to lose weight or curious? I was definitely curious to 0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:12.160 see if I would lose weight because a lot of 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:13.560 people told me, I bet you'd lose weight if you 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:15.520 cut out diet coke, and I was like, okay, I'll 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:18.960 try it. And then I didn't lose anything. Well it's 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:21.200 because it's like it's fake sugar. So it's like there's 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:23.560 a debate there. Did you notice? So now I would 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:26.240 like to challenge you to doing it to see how 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:30.480 much bloat you have verse not weight, but bloat information 0:16:31.160 --> 0:16:37.040 and pay so much with all like those things that 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.280 it'd be interesting to seat. But no, our girlfriend Pam 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:42.840 has it on the Plexus plan. But having said that, 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:47.600 um at home, I do one a day. When I 0:16:47.640 --> 0:16:51.680 travel it endepping more. Sometimes I have to one. Do 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:54.000 you like get the shape crap out of it? I 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:56.280 hate it. I just hate it. It's not good for 0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:57.840 your body at all. None of it is good for 0:16:57.880 --> 0:16:59.280 your body. I just need to say that because I 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:01.120 actually value love you when I care about your health 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:03.240 and your organs. I do so. It would be really 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:06.320 not a good friend if I was like, good for you, honey. Now, 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:09.160 all that being said, get your bow, toss my happy spon. 0:17:13.800 --> 0:17:15.440 You know what I like to do is just call 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:19.000 myself out for anybody else can so fine, it's fine. 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:22.560 I'm happy with myself anyway, moving on, I'm happy with myself. 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:25.680 I love myself and my diet coke cheers. I mean 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:29.800 I'd rather you drink a coke instead of diet. Oh no, 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:32.840 not me. I mean then then you'd actually it's a 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:34.960 wife of a pepsi artist. I'd rather you drink a pepsi. 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:44.000 They're terrible. I don't love any who is anyone watching 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:46.640 a Bachelor of Seasan? Nope? Do you know. Fun fact, 0:17:46.640 --> 0:17:49.159 I've never watched episode of any of that. Oh, I 0:17:49.160 --> 0:17:53.040 think my friend Christina is on that. I don't know. 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:54.640 I think they're down to the final four. I don't 0:17:54.680 --> 0:17:59.000 think there's an Andrew Christine. I have no idea. I 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:01.280 don't I don't watch it. I just saw a thing 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:05.600 earlier about how he wasn't going to sleep with anyone. Oh, 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:10.879 I did see that. Do we believe that? Kind of great? 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:15.400 You know, I'm all for it not sleeping, well, especially 0:18:15.400 --> 0:18:19.359 in that situation. I don't know. I just feel like 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:22.600 that's not a debate for me, I would say, especially 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:30.680 am I getting out of this between me and Jana Grammer. 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:32.560 You wouts to know that I had a really big 0:18:32.600 --> 0:18:36.760 development in therapy yesterday that could kind of loop into 0:18:36.760 --> 0:18:41.119 this A tiny bit that I, well, this may not 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:46.160 be a newsplash to anyone else, but I don't trust men. Okay, 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:51.280 that's a big that's big. Um. I don't fully trust men, 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:53.960 and I don't super trust a lot of people in general. 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:58.720 Amy pointed out, I could see that. So with that, 0:18:59.040 --> 0:19:01.200 if I was on a show the Bachelor, I would 0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:04.879 be like iron gated, yea below the belt. Nobody's getting 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:07.920 in absolutely, because you're all a bunch of scumbags. Okay, 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:13.199 but I don't believe that what others scumbags know that 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:16.320 you would actually do that? Oh I do you? Everybody 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:18.880 made out with somebody on road rules and I didn't bible. 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:24.480 She's like, but I gave a good no. We all know. 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:28.280 I don't like to speaking of that. I'm on pelvic rest, 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:32.480 so I had to retire my old ways. Why is it? 0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:36.040 Can I ask the question? I only if I can 0:19:36.320 --> 0:19:39.000 differ and not answer. Is it because you're your dad? 0:19:39.400 --> 0:19:44.160 Of course? It was a real we had a real 0:19:44.200 --> 0:19:47.160 breakthrough yesterday. You know. It's interesting because I think people 0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:49.879 have a lot of opinions about therapy and I've been 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:52.560 going to this grief and trauma therapist that Jamma suggested 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:55.360 right after I lost like five people in eleven months 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:56.680 and one of them was my dad. So that's the 0:19:56.720 --> 0:19:59.080 speed dating version of it. And I was like, yeah, 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:00.720 and I've been going to the piece since I was 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:02.399 twenty seven, so this isn't new to me. And we 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:04.320 kind of just hit this little patch I felt like 0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:06.639 where I was like, oh okay, and she kind of 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:08.720 put me on graduation and was like, you can come 0:20:08.720 --> 0:20:11.119 whenever you'd like. And I was like okay, and I 0:20:11.200 --> 0:20:15.119 was feeling really good. And then yesterday I was in 0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:19.080 there and I was feisty. So I don't get super 0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:21.800 I get more emotional when i'm pregnant, for sure, but 0:20:21.840 --> 0:20:23.760 I don't get irrational. I feel like I get really 0:20:23.800 --> 0:20:27.880 clear and I just it becomes very black and white 0:20:27.960 --> 0:20:31.600 and very decisive. And I was in there. I came 0:20:31.640 --> 0:20:34.320 in with both my heartbeats yesterday and all my decisiveness 0:20:34.320 --> 0:20:35.720 and I was like, da da Da da da. And 0:20:35.760 --> 0:20:39.240 she was like okay, and she goes, I'm gonna say 0:20:39.280 --> 0:20:42.320 something and I think that we need to like dig 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:44.840 in a little, and I said okay, and she was like, 0:20:45.000 --> 0:20:48.360 I think you need to be more angry at your dad, 0:20:48.880 --> 0:20:50.600 and I think no one's allowed you to probably be. 0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:53.000 And I was like, well, then I started crying and 0:20:53.040 --> 0:20:54.879 she goes, those tears are hot. I know we're getting somewhere, 0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:58.440 and she got a notepad, so I know that really 0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:01.360 took us for a dark day to her and shows 0:21:01.400 --> 0:21:03.520 like that and people like that, I don't trust anyone 0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:07.639 and no one's getting my body. Yeah, so I saw 0:21:08.320 --> 0:21:12.440 a because you know, I always watched those inspirational videos 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:15.040 like Ja Shetty and all of them, and there was 0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:17.040 one that was saying it wasn't Jay's, but it was 0:21:19.400 --> 0:21:22.040 the problem with a lot of therapist. Therapists won't go 0:21:22.520 --> 0:21:25.879 to childhood trauma and they just kind of keep it 0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:31.600 very surface where every most every issue, which was why 0:21:31.640 --> 0:21:33.520 you're acting a certain way to your spouse or why 0:21:33.760 --> 0:21:35.960 you did X, Y and Z, it always goes back 0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:41.240 to a childhood trauma and so you know your trust 0:21:41.440 --> 0:21:45.400 with men. I just have never seen a man's actions 0:21:45.400 --> 0:21:48.960 and words match that in that means something for sure, 0:21:49.119 --> 0:21:52.040 and never saw that growing up. It was always due 0:21:52.040 --> 0:21:55.560