1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I Heart Radio Podcast. 2 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:14,360 Speaker 1: Hi girls, Hi, Hey, Okay, I have things I have 3 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 1: to say. There's a lot of things to say. There's 4 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 1: a lot of things. Where would you like to start. 5 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: Let's start with the Tom's Oh Tom, Tom, Double Tom, 6 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: Double Tom. Because the apologies that the apologies have come out, 7 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 1: Tom sand of all you guys, I'm like invested in 8 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: a show that I've never watched. I literally didn't even 9 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: know what these people look like. But I'm now invested. 10 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:48,880 Speaker 1: I do know, and you know what, I just want 11 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 1: to I want to pause there and say that if 12 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,520 Speaker 1: you've been invested since the very beginning of this show, 13 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: I am by no means like, I'm not a bandwagoner. 14 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: I just because of the topics discussed, feel a little 15 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:01,840 Speaker 1: more informed and so now I'm a little more invested 16 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: because they're getting a little defensive. The people that have 17 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: been like that have given their lives to the show, 18 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:12,520 Speaker 1: are now a little defense. Yeah, okay, would you like me? Oh? 19 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: Jackie just said, who broke it down? By the way, 20 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 1: a lot of people were like, thanks for breaking it down, 21 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,559 Speaker 1: because we had no idea either. It was intense. Jackie 22 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 1: broke it down first, and she just said we welcome bandwagoners. 23 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,680 Speaker 1: That sounds like you're one of the good ones, Jackie. 24 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 1: So would you like to Would you like for me 25 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: to read Tom Sandoval's apology? Did we not already hear his? Well, 26 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: all he did was say about his shorts and Sandy 27 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 1: bar and this is where we get off the danda wagon, 28 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 1: and we've hopped off. Okay, so we did another. He 29 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: did another apology. He needed to because because he didn't 30 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 1: mention Arianna. I know that first one was not even 31 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: enough to read or not to read. That's the question 32 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: to read. Copy that. I want to first and foremost, 33 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: apology to everyone I've heard through this process. Most of all, 34 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: I want to apologize to Ariana. I made mistakes. I 35 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: was selfish and made reckless decisions that hurt somebody I love. 36 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: No one deserves to feel that pain so traumatically and publicly. 37 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: Copy that, Amen. I can only imagine how devastating this 38 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,239 Speaker 1: has been for Arianna and everyone around us. I feel 39 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: horrible about that. My biggest regret is that I dishonored Ariana. 40 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 1: I never meant to disappoint so many people, including our 41 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: loving families and friends. My love for Ariana was stronger 42 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: than any camera could have ever captured. Some of our 43 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 1: best times together were never filmed the same ghost for 44 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,800 Speaker 1: some of our biggest struggles. I wish things happened in 45 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 1: a different order and our relationship was not severely tarnished, 46 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: and that it ended with the same respect with for 47 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 1: her that it began with. I owed Ariana better. I 48 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,520 Speaker 1: am beyond sad that it ended the way that it did. 49 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,880 Speaker 1: The choices I made hurt so many people. I acted 50 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: in a way that clashes with who and how I 51 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,079 Speaker 1: want to be. I will continue to reflect and work 52 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 1: on myself. I have work to do, I always have 53 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: and I always will. I wish that was the first 54 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:06,080 Speaker 1: apology I agree with. It's a little cheapened to me 55 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,160 Speaker 1: that we came out with the sandy bar or whatever 56 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: it was. Thing first I agree with that, but then 57 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:15,840 Speaker 1: I also think, well, he needed to take a second 58 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: with it to really sit with how because I just 59 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 1: don't think I'm glad he did take a second. I 60 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: just wish he would have maybe mentioned something like I 61 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: have to formulate my thoughts around publicly apologizing Ariana. In 62 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: the meantime, please don't let my servers go broke because 63 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: you don't want to like that would have been well, 64 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 1: but here's the here's the thing, and I'm going to 65 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 1: call myself out like my twenties cheating Janna, they're cheaters, 66 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,720 Speaker 1: are selfish bottom line, I was selfish when I cheated. 67 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 1: I was selfish. Sure, So they don't really care. They're 68 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: not going to go to the person that they hurt 69 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: because that's not their main concern. What was his main 70 00:03:54,600 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: concern at the Times bar? Yeah, oh yeah, I mean definitely. 71 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: And you know I said last week, and I don't 72 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 1: think it's a popular opinion. I don't like these public 73 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: apologies period. I don't like them. I don't think and 74 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 1: I'm very unpopular. I realized that. But to me, none 75 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 1: of it ever sounds sincere. You're saying it for a 76 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,679 Speaker 1: millions of people, You're not saying it for the person 77 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 1: you hurt. And that's just where I never can take 78 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: them fully seriously for what they are. Plus, I think 79 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: we all know too much on the back end on 80 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 1: like this industry side, where we know that a lot 81 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: of those apologies aren't written by the people that that 82 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 1: post them anyway doing it try and protect themselves, and 83 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: that that just I don't. I don't. I don't like them. 84 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,040 Speaker 1: They're not They're not my thing, Devil's advocate. If it 85 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 1: was someone close to you that was in the public eye, 86 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 1: I'd want an apology publicly, wouldn't you be like, where's 87 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: the apology? Use you're there. They've opened their lives, right 88 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: like the Kardashians, every people that do the reality shows. 89 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: You open your lives up for people to be in 90 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 1: your life essentially, you know, I mean, you open yourself 91 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: up in here, Chris. You open so people feel like 92 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: they have a right to kind of dissect or whatever. 93 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,920 Speaker 1: Wouldn't you want to them to or if someone did 94 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: that for then you to go. I feel deserved like 95 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 1: I should get like I'm sorry, Yes, but I almost 96 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,360 Speaker 1: think that they deserve a sorry that's from him or her, 97 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: to them, to the people that were watching, to the 98 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: people that were invested. I'm sorry to you. That seems 99 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,840 Speaker 1: sincere to I see what you're saying, Okay, And if 100 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:30,200 Speaker 1: you want to mention, and yes, there are things I'm 101 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,359 Speaker 1: dealing with the people that I hurt or whatever. But 102 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 1: if I'm that person that's hurt and I see a 103 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 1: public apology, but I'm not getting that personally f that 104 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 1: I don't want your public apology. I want you to 105 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: be sincere and talk to me for real about what 106 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,600 Speaker 1: really happened, you know, And so it just seems so 107 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: I don't know, it just seems so like it's something 108 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: you have to do now ironically am writing between both 109 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: of you? Yeah, I mean, and I hear y'all like, 110 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,039 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm glad he did that at the same time, 111 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 1: especially after the first one. But it's just like, you 112 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 1: don't know, I mean, you know, is he really sorry? 113 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 1: Is he really saying sorry to her? Who knows? I 114 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: don't know. Would you like to hear Raquel's apology? Oh? Yeah, okay, 115 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:13,680 Speaker 1: I feel so in the No, there's no excuse. I 116 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,160 Speaker 1: am not a victim and I must own my actions, 117 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:20,320 Speaker 1: and I deeply regret hurting Arianna. I want to apologize 118 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,039 Speaker 1: for my actions and my choices, foremost to Arianna and 119 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: to my friends and the fans, like you just said, 120 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: so invested in our relationships. There is no excuse. I'm 121 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,600 Speaker 1: not a victim and I must own actions deeply regret 122 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: ran I am reflecting on my choices, speaking to a counselor, 123 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: and I'm learning things about myself, such as patterns of 124 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 1: codependency and addiction to being and feeling loved. I have 125 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 1: sought emotional validation through intimate connections that are not healthy 126 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 1: without regard for my own well being, sometimes negatively affecting others, 127 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: and often prioritize in the intimate connection over my friendships. 128 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: I'm taking steps to understand my behavior and make healthier choices. 129 00:06:55,600 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: This is called love addiction. Is what this is? She 130 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,600 Speaker 1: says that or did you say that? I'm saying that 131 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 1: because she didn't say that, but that is yes, yes, yes, 132 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: but that is the definition of a love addict, especially 133 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 1: like talking to account, like all the things around it, 134 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 1: because I've become counseling to end my unhealthy behavioral cycle, 135 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: learned to set stronger emotions. I mean, but this is. 136 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: And I was talking to another friend who is a 137 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:32,280 Speaker 1: love addict, and she was saying, you know this is 138 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: I mean, that's she's basically saying she's a love addict 139 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: without saying she's a love addict. So just your thoughts 140 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: on that. I like hers better. Hers doesn't bother me 141 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,160 Speaker 1: as much. I don't know. I think there's a lot 142 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: of ownership, but there's a lot of ownership, and it 143 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: doesn't feel like she is forcing herself to apologize to 144 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 1: these people, you know what I mean, it's just taking 145 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:58,920 Speaker 1: ownership what she's doing, apologize to the fans. You know, 146 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,360 Speaker 1: I don't know. I occurs better. What do you think 147 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 1: about the addiction piece of it? Oh, I think that 148 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: there's definitely true. I don't know anything about her, but 149 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 1: I think there's definitely truth to love addiction. Okay, but 150 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong. Did you believe or not 151 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: believe in sex addiction? I don't know. I truly don't know. 152 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 1: So what would then be the difference between love addiction 153 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: and a sex addiction? We but like it really truly, 154 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: because like that's it's blaming the same thing, right, So 155 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: she's basically saying, I did this because of my need 156 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 1: to feel loved and wanted, valued and whatever. Sex addiction 157 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: is the same thing. You just have you know that 158 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,400 Speaker 1: you commit the act? Well, she, I mean, she did both, right, 159 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:42,080 Speaker 1: And I don't know that much about love addiction, Like 160 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 1: I love addiction is basically I mean almost I'm not 161 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna I'm not a therapist here, but from 162 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,320 Speaker 1: the Wood studies that i've or not studies, but all 163 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 1: the things that I've gone through with the past sex addiction. 164 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 1: There is the love addiction peace in there because it's 165 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: that filling that void, and then they take it basically 166 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 1: the step further with this, the sexual part of it 167 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: a validation to extreme levels. Yes, whereas a love addict 168 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: might just have an affair, a sex addict is calling 169 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 1: prostitutes and it can be you know, or can be 170 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 1: porn or whatever it is. But unhappy to answer your question, 171 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,599 Speaker 1: I still don't fully know how I feel about the 172 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,559 Speaker 1: sex addiction piece. I think there were times I believed it. 173 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 1: There were times I felt like it felt like an excuse. 174 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 1: But can that be any addiction? Sure, I mean there's 175 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,199 Speaker 1: times you can be an alcoholic, but that's an excuse, 176 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: you know. So I I don't know. I don't know. 177 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 1: That's a hard question because I I truly do not 178 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 1: know whether I how I feel about sex addiction. I mean, 179 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 1: obviously it's just a real thing, but I mean, really, 180 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: you could put this in under the category right of 181 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 1: a love addiction too. I mean love it's saying okay, 182 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:56,480 Speaker 1: well I'm a love addict, and to put the blame there. Sure, 183 00:09:56,720 --> 00:10:01,079 Speaker 1: but wouldn't we all say no, not going to categorize 184 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 1: all of us in there. But I know twenties Jannah 185 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:06,560 Speaker 1: was a love addict. Twenties Kristen is a love addict. 186 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: I mean even you know, early thirties Janna love addict. 187 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: You know where it's like it's wanting to feel loved 188 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:16,680 Speaker 1: and validated and hurting people along the way. And so 189 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:20,560 Speaker 1: it wasn't an excuse, that's just the pattern and that's 190 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: the addiction, right yeah, along the way, and that's the 191 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 1: unfortunate the addiction. So it's like, there's that's just the 192 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: name for it, right were as some would be just 193 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 1: called a cheater. Like basically when I was talking to 194 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,760 Speaker 1: you know, the conversation was actually with Rachel Yu coul Tell, 195 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: she's like, we should talk about love addiction because you know, 196 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 1: when she was labeled the cheater, She's like, I was 197 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 1: going through things, you know, emotionally that like to feel 198 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 1: validated and loved. And yes, it sucks that it was 199 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: broke up a marriage, but you know, we all have 200 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 1: unhealthy we can we can all have unhealthy patterns, and 201 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 1: that's just that wasn't you know, I don't know, yeah, absolutely, 202 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: how do you feel Christen, okaybe you're a little quiet 203 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: there with your a little baby. Well, I just have 204 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,840 Speaker 1: a little baby is not getting so little anymore. I 205 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,760 Speaker 1: feel like I have swallowed a whole human struggling. That's 206 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,080 Speaker 1: why I sit back here like this tiny person. Um. 207 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 1: I just I appreciate the ownership because I think sometimes 208 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: the title of addiction is sometimes I have to be 209 00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: careful because people were. She also didn't say that. She 210 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 1: didn't say that no, no, I know, yeah, I'm just 211 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:36,720 Speaker 1: talking in our outside of her. Yes, I appreciated her ownership. 212 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: That would be like a sentence period. I feel like, yeah, 213 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,280 Speaker 1: that copy copy that. Um. I just I have a 214 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: hard time when people maybe use that as an excuser, 215 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:52,280 Speaker 1: hide behind something without the ownership piece. So I appreciated 216 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 1: the reversal of it, if you will, right, Like not 217 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 1: saying I'm a love addict, yeah, just saying like this 218 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 1: is the stuff I need to work on. This is 219 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,680 Speaker 1: not okay, and I feel responsible for it, and I agree. 220 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: I just want to say again, I don't envy anyone making. 221 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 1: I don't know how old she is, but she doesn't 222 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 1: look super old. I saw her picture for the first 223 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 1: time today. Jackie will let us know in about two seconds, 224 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: like her birthday is she's a Gemini that likes long 225 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 1: walks on the beach. Um, I just can yes, I 226 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 1: mean looked back, we got back in the hot tub 227 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: time machine. You saw this Kristen thirteen years ago. Holy 228 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 1: Matt girl. I mean at twenty five, I thought I 229 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 1: was a good idea to do road rules. So let's 230 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: just start there. I mean that there's a lot of 231 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 1: growth to be had there, so I don't envy someone. 232 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 1: It's a very mature response for someone who has to 233 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,079 Speaker 1: live and she's chosen too, and I get that. But 234 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 1: imagine making all your mistakes so publicly and then being 235 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: like with the world we have today. You know, it's 236 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 1: like you're so young and you're making mistakes for the 237 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 1: whole world. Seem like you're learning from them while everybody 238 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 1: else is seeing them. Yeah. Yeah, and at an age 239 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 1: where you think it's a good idea, right. And I 240 00:13:07,679 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 1: think if we remember doing this test with my friend Brian, 241 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 1: who's a sex and love addict, and she's we made 242 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,200 Speaker 1: people because we were pitching the show about love addiction, 243 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,439 Speaker 1: and we made people take the test if you're a 244 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,520 Speaker 1: love addict and like there's like nine out of ten 245 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,080 Speaker 1: people scored like that they were love addict because it's 246 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: we all want to feel loved and worthy and chosen, 247 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 1: and unfortunately it can go past a point where it's 248 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,960 Speaker 1: harmful and it could be relationships. But also there's that 249 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:40,319 Speaker 1: piece where it's like you don't even realize who you're 250 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,200 Speaker 1: hurting in those moments, Like I can look back and 251 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: go God, like, that was so shitty of me, But 252 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 1: I was so in my own world of like wanting 253 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 1: to feel validated, that I didn't even think about the 254 00:13:53,080 --> 00:14:09,960 Speaker 1: other person. Right, going back to what you're saying earlier, like, yes, 255 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 1: I believe you can be addicted to anything. So to 256 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,600 Speaker 1: take away that sex addiction thing, it's not that I 257 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,960 Speaker 1: don't think it's a real thing. I absolutely think you 258 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 1: can be addicted to anything. I'm probably addicted to diet coke, 259 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 1: Like you can literally be addicted to anything. I just 260 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 1: think we can also hide behind it, like you said, 261 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,240 Speaker 1: right right, you know, And and maybe part of hiding 262 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: behind it is not realizing who you're hurting in the process, 263 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 1: and maybe it does take therapy or learning to really 264 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 1: not you know, see past that point. I don't know 265 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: I haven't been in that position, but well, if you 266 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: let it consume in, you go, well, I'm just I'm 267 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 1: just a sex addictor I'm just a love attic. This 268 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 1: is just what we do. Well, that's that's the piece 269 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: where it's like you have you don't even want to change. 270 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 1: It's like I think I look at like my AX 271 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 1: and people like they genuinely want to change. It's just hard, sure, 272 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,360 Speaker 1: you know. And it's like I you know, in the 273 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,600 Speaker 1: past too, like have to catch yourself to be like, Okay, 274 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 1: you don't like that version, don't go back to like 275 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 1: to the response that you would want to go to 276 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 1: because you want someone to like you, or you want 277 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,280 Speaker 1: someone to choose or you want someone to like show 278 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 1: you that like you're you know that you're worthy or whatever. 279 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 1: So it's like having to choose the right way is hard, 280 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 1: but you're acknowledging. And that's the people that just fall 281 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 1: back on it. That's the thing. Like you can go, Okay, 282 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 1: I might be addicted to X, but you don't let 283 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: it just go well screw it. Yeah, I'm just gonna 284 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,960 Speaker 1: keep drinking it and not give a flying f Yeah, yeah, 285 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,920 Speaker 1: I mean I do really love my diet coke. But 286 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 1: I do I really feel like half a one a day? 287 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: I'm doing good. I thought you were like I thought 288 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,360 Speaker 1: you were at zero a day. Yeah you kind of. 289 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 1: Oh no, I could it out for like shoes back 290 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:48,720 Speaker 1: when what did they call this relapse? But when was 291 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 1: I to zero? I thought you were at zero? No? 292 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 1: Never did we not just travel together a month ago? Well, listen, 293 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: I was so busy having seven lunches. I was no. 294 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: I actually it out for like a month one time. 295 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: Maybe that's anything a pound? This was like a year ago. Oh, 296 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 1: and I was like, screw this. So you did it 297 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:10,600 Speaker 1: to lose weight or curious? I was definitely curious to 298 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,160 Speaker 1: see if I would lose weight because a lot of 299 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,560 Speaker 1: people told me, I bet you'd lose weight if you 300 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 1: cut out diet coke, and I was like, okay, I'll 301 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: try it. And then I didn't lose anything. Well it's 302 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: because it's like it's fake sugar. So it's like there's 303 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: a debate there. Did you notice? So now I would 304 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: like to challenge you to doing it to see how 305 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 1: much bloat you have verse not weight, but bloat information 306 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:37,040 Speaker 1: and pay so much with all like those things that 307 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: it'd be interesting to seat. But no, our girlfriend Pam 308 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 1: has it on the Plexus plan. But having said that, 309 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: um at home, I do one a day. When I 310 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,680 Speaker 1: travel it endepping more. Sometimes I have to one. Do 311 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 1: you like get the shape crap out of it? I 312 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: hate it. I just hate it. It's not good for 313 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 1: your body at all. None of it is good for 314 00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 1: your body. I just need to say that because I 315 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: actually value love you when I care about your health 316 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 1: and your organs. I do so. It would be really 317 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 1: not a good friend if I was like, good for you, honey. Now, 318 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,160 Speaker 1: all that being said, get your bow, toss my happy spon. 319 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 1: You know what I like to do is just call 320 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 1: myself out for anybody else can so fine, it's fine. 321 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,560 Speaker 1: I'm happy with myself anyway, moving on, I'm happy with myself. 322 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,680 Speaker 1: I love myself and my diet coke cheers. I mean 323 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 1: I'd rather you drink a coke instead of diet. Oh no, 324 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: not me. I mean then then you'd actually it's a 325 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 1: wife of a pepsi artist. I'd rather you drink a pepsi. 326 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:44,000 Speaker 1: They're terrible. I don't love any who is anyone watching 327 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,640 Speaker 1: a Bachelor of Seasan? Nope? Do you know. Fun fact, 328 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,159 Speaker 1: I've never watched episode of any of that. Oh, I 329 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:53,040 Speaker 1: think my friend Christina is on that. I don't know. 330 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:54,640 Speaker 1: I think they're down to the final four. I don't 331 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:59,000 Speaker 1: think there's an Andrew Christine. I have no idea. I 332 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 1: don't I don't watch it. I just saw a thing 333 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:05,600 Speaker 1: earlier about how he wasn't going to sleep with anyone. Oh, 334 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:10,879 Speaker 1: I did see that. Do we believe that? Kind of great? 335 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,400 Speaker 1: You know, I'm all for it not sleeping, well, especially 336 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 1: in that situation. I don't know. I just feel like 337 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: that's not a debate for me, I would say, especially 338 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:30,680 Speaker 1: am I getting out of this between me and Jana Grammer. 339 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: You wouts to know that I had a really big 340 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 1: development in therapy yesterday that could kind of loop into 341 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:41,119 Speaker 1: this A tiny bit that I, well, this may not 342 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:46,160 Speaker 1: be a newsplash to anyone else, but I don't trust men. Okay, 343 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:51,280 Speaker 1: that's a big that's big. Um. I don't fully trust men, 344 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,960 Speaker 1: and I don't super trust a lot of people in general. 345 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 1: Amy pointed out, I could see that. So with that, 346 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,200 Speaker 1: if I was on a show the Bachelor, I would 347 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,879 Speaker 1: be like iron gated, yea below the belt. Nobody's getting 348 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 1: in absolutely, because you're all a bunch of scumbags. Okay, 349 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:13,199 Speaker 1: but I don't believe that what others scumbags know that 350 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: you would actually do that? Oh I do you? Everybody 351 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,880 Speaker 1: made out with somebody on road rules and I didn't bible. 352 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 1: She's like, but I gave a good no. We all know. 353 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 1: I don't like to speaking of that. I'm on pelvic rest, 354 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 1: so I had to retire my old ways. Why is it? 355 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 1: Can I ask the question? I only if I can 356 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 1: differ and not answer. Is it because you're your dad? 357 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 1: Of course? It was a real we had a real 358 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:47,160 Speaker 1: breakthrough yesterday. You know. It's interesting because I think people 359 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:49,879 Speaker 1: have a lot of opinions about therapy and I've been 360 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,560 Speaker 1: going to this grief and trauma therapist that Jamma suggested 361 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,360 Speaker 1: right after I lost like five people in eleven months 362 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:56,680 Speaker 1: and one of them was my dad. So that's the 363 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 1: speed dating version of it. And I was like, yeah, 364 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:00,720 Speaker 1: and I've been going to the piece since I was 365 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:02,399 Speaker 1: twenty seven, so this isn't new to me. And we 366 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 1: kind of just hit this little patch I felt like 367 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,639 Speaker 1: where I was like, oh okay, and she kind of 368 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,720 Speaker 1: put me on graduation and was like, you can come 369 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,119 Speaker 1: whenever you'd like. And I was like okay, and I 370 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:15,119 Speaker 1: was feeling really good. And then yesterday I was in 371 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 1: there and I was feisty. So I don't get super 372 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 1: I get more emotional when i'm pregnant, for sure, but 373 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 1: I don't get irrational. I feel like I get really 374 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,880 Speaker 1: clear and I just it becomes very black and white 375 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: and very decisive. And I was in there. I came 376 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 1: in with both my heartbeats yesterday and all my decisiveness 377 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,720 Speaker 1: and I was like, da da Da da da. And 378 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:39,240 Speaker 1: she was like okay, and she goes, I'm gonna say 379 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,320 Speaker 1: something and I think that we need to like dig 380 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 1: in a little, and I said okay, and she was like, 381 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,360 Speaker 1: I think you need to be more angry at your dad, 382 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,600 Speaker 1: and I think no one's allowed you to probably be. 383 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: And I was like, well, then I started crying and 384 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 1: she goes, those tears are hot. I know we're getting somewhere, 385 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 1: and she got a notepad, so I know that really 386 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,360 Speaker 1: took us for a dark day to her and shows 387 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,520 Speaker 1: like that and people like that, I don't trust anyone 388 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 1: and no one's getting my body. Yeah, so I saw 389 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:12,440 Speaker 1: a because you know, I always watched those inspirational videos 390 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: like Ja Shetty and all of them, and there was 391 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,040 Speaker 1: one that was saying it wasn't Jay's, but it was 392 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 1: the problem with a lot of therapist. Therapists won't go 393 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,879 Speaker 1: to childhood trauma and they just kind of keep it 394 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: very surface where every most every issue, which was why 395 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 1: you're acting a certain way to your spouse or why 396 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,960 Speaker 1: you did X, Y and Z, it always goes back 397 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:41,240 Speaker 1: to a childhood trauma and so you know your trust 398 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,400 Speaker 1: with men. I just have never seen a man's actions 399 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 1: and words match that in that means something for sure, 400 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 1: and never saw that growing up. It was always due 401 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:55,560 Speaker 1: as I say, not as I do. And that is, 402 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,639 Speaker 1: by the way she identified as a pretty shitty parenting motto, 403 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,679 Speaker 1: which I also enjoy the validation of that. But like I, 404 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,360 Speaker 1: she was like, well, of course, and so then I 405 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,840 Speaker 1: was gifted a son to raise, which is not lost 406 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 1: on me at all, to teach me about how boyhood 407 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 1: and manhood can look stewarded well and with a different 408 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,199 Speaker 1: kind of care. And my dad also had his own trauma, 409 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,960 Speaker 1: so he of course you know it's and came from 410 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:24,959 Speaker 1: I'm not making excuses by any means, but came from 411 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,639 Speaker 1: a generation where they didn't do the deep dive like 412 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:30,840 Speaker 1: we all do. Yeah, So I told her, I was like, 413 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 1: I believe in Jesus and God that loves me, and 414 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 1: I have a son that I have to raise. So 415 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: somewhere between all of that, her and I are going 416 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,960 Speaker 1: to start the untangling. Sorry, well, I was going to 417 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: ask a question back to kind of what you were 418 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 1: asking though, can you not sleep with all these people 419 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,880 Speaker 1: or want to sleep with all these people for healthy reasons? 420 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:58,440 Speaker 1: Like not you in general, but like is let's say 421 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: there's not a childhood trauma there and you just don't 422 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,200 Speaker 1: want to sleep with four or five different however many men. Oh, 423 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that he's got childhood trauma. That's not 424 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 1: what that's not that's that's not why he's sleeping with them. 425 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,000 Speaker 1: You're saying he does or doesn't. I'm not saying I'm 426 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:18,959 Speaker 1: not waiting child trauma. I'm saying I'm saying, if you 427 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: didn't have the childhood trauma, do you think that you would, Oh, 428 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,480 Speaker 1: that would be a different story for you, only because 429 00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,600 Speaker 1: she got childhood. I mean they had a little slut 430 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:31,000 Speaker 1: phase in college. I think we all didn't, maybe not 431 00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:37,440 Speaker 1: Catherine No, I definitely didn't. Okay, it's fine. No, it 432 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,199 Speaker 1: just brought up you're with me, honey and never going 433 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:47,120 Speaker 1: to be okay, I do us anymore. So I'm just 434 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 1: gonna it's just four is if I have to be 435 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,879 Speaker 1: in that fine, um. And it's not a judgmental question. 436 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,200 Speaker 1: I'm just cutious if like that's like a trauma response, 437 00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,760 Speaker 1: I think mine is ways, I mean mine is so. 438 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: I don't know if I could even see it in 439 00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:03,280 Speaker 1: any other way because I just don't. I go to 440 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 1: severe indefense. There's an intimacy disconnect. Yeah, I default to 441 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,840 Speaker 1: severe independent, right, Yeah, this is an interesting topic. We 442 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 1: need to let us down a dark one. We need 443 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,480 Speaker 1: to we need to reopen that up, maybe with a therapist. 444 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:20,480 Speaker 1: And I'm interested in that. Yeah, it's good because a 445 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 1: good it's a good question. Cap. We're gonna take a 446 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,359 Speaker 1: break and then we're gonna get Jennifer Nettles on the 447 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 1: podcast like her, hy girl, I have been you are. 448 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:46,920 Speaker 1: I know I shouldn't lead with that, but my word 449 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 1: takes one to no one. Oh Jennifer, hey girl, it's 450 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,119 Speaker 1: been a minute since I've seen you out in this world. 451 00:24:56,320 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 1: How are you? Yeah? And this in this wild world. Right, Yeah, 452 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 1: it's it's something, it's something else. I'm good, I'm whole, 453 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 1: I'm you know, like everybody else like busy, crazzy, tired, 454 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:15,840 Speaker 1: and tired, terrified, all of it at one time, right, 455 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,200 Speaker 1: and sometimes terrified slice at the top of the list, 456 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,679 Speaker 1: and that's okay, current man, Right, those are interchangeable. They 457 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 1: moves around and that list. Well, I think it's interesting too, 458 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 1: like when you say things like that because I think, 459 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: you know, I was having a UM. I was sit 460 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,000 Speaker 1: down with my therapist and I was just telling her like, 461 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,800 Speaker 1: I'm just I feel stuck and frustrated. And I think 462 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 1: when people see, you know, Jennifer Nettles or someone that's 463 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,800 Speaker 1: in this spotlight, you have it all figured out. You're fine, 464 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,440 Speaker 1: you've got money, you're great, you're good, like you don't 465 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 1: have like you're not stuck, you don't feel those things. 466 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:49,000 Speaker 1: And it's like it's we all, we all go through that, 467 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,119 Speaker 1: and it's it's nice to hear, you know, not just 468 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: like oh yeah, everything's great, you know, because yeah it's not. 469 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,480 Speaker 1: Sometimes you know, it's hard. Yeah yeah, so sometimes it's 470 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 1: super lifey, you know. Um, And that's okay too. We 471 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,000 Speaker 1: go through all of these seasons, we go through all 472 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:09,119 Speaker 1: of these times. We you know, it's it's a big 473 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:13,000 Speaker 1: life and it's full, right, it's very full. What do 474 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:20,159 Speaker 1: you think it's been the um the thing? I guess, well, yeah, exactly, welcome, 475 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,679 Speaker 1: welcome to the show. This is a this is this 476 00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,479 Speaker 1: is where we go. Um, we'll get light, we'll get 477 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,520 Speaker 1: into farmers. But I do want to know, uh, you know, 478 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,679 Speaker 1: when you kind of get in that space since we 479 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,919 Speaker 1: did go there, and now I'm curious, like, how do 480 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 1: you because again things are you you live up still 481 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,879 Speaker 1: public life, you know, and things like how do you 482 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 1: kind of reframe your mindset to to you know, maybe 483 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 1: is it is it reframing it's a gratefulness or do 484 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:46,919 Speaker 1: you just sit with there? Do you like, do you 485 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 1: go to therapy? Like what do you do when you're 486 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:52,760 Speaker 1: when you're in that when it's tough? All of the above, 487 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 1: all of the above. Thank God for my therapist, who 488 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 1: I've been with now for probably over twenty years, you know, 489 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 1: thank God for her. I find that super helpful. I think, 490 00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,560 Speaker 1: you know, I often use what I say as gratitude 491 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,639 Speaker 1: as a shield, you know, in that way, just like 492 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,439 Speaker 1: out in front of me because there is much to 493 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 1: be grateful for. There's that old adage that says, like, 494 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 1: you know, if we all put our problems out on 495 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 1: the table with each other, we'd probably grab and reach 496 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:26,439 Speaker 1: for our own ones back, okay in terms of if 497 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:30,200 Speaker 1: we had to have anyone else's right. So all that 498 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:35,280 Speaker 1: being said, yeah, gratitude is a big protector in that way. 499 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 1: And then in speaking of protection, in talking about you know, 500 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,920 Speaker 1: being in the public eye, and I have definitely learned 501 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 1: over the years, you know, to be super selective and 502 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 1: super protective. I definitely I want my art to be seen, 503 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,520 Speaker 1: I want my art to be known. I won't want 504 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,679 Speaker 1: my work to be celebrated, but I also want to 505 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,600 Speaker 1: be able to have, like anyone else, in a safe 506 00:27:57,600 --> 00:27:59,640 Speaker 1: place to come to at the end of the day. 507 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,160 Speaker 1: And that has become kind of a rarity in our 508 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:06,719 Speaker 1: culture too. We slid into this like must know everything 509 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,760 Speaker 1: behind the scenes. Like I kind of miss the old 510 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 1: school glam Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, we miss We've lost the mystery. 511 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 1: And I yeah, for myself, I mean it's protective to 512 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:25,239 Speaker 1: maintain that, but like you, I miss it too. You know. 513 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 1: I used to love to be able to just go 514 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 1: on a deep dive in a in a very I mean, 515 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,240 Speaker 1: it was a shallow dive considering. But like you find 516 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 1: an article about your favorite artist, your favorite actors, your 517 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,560 Speaker 1: favorite you know, musician, whatever it may be in your 518 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: magazine and you're looking at that, and that's that's what 519 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 1: you get. You get an interview you know what I'm saying, 520 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: and it's very curated and it's very specific and you 521 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 1: can trust it. Okay, there isn't you know, a ton 522 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 1: of other voices out there trying to put words into 523 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,800 Speaker 1: people's mouths or trying to at the I mean, and nowadays, 524 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 1: as we know where social media is can earned you know, 525 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:06,600 Speaker 1: when there is conflict equals engagement, and so they try 526 00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: to foster that conflict wherever they can, you know, and 527 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,960 Speaker 1: they try to keep people polarized, and they try to 528 00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 1: make everything as scandalous as possible, and everyone is outraged 529 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:26,040 Speaker 1: and it's just like which I am tired. Okay, like tired, 530 00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:32,760 Speaker 1: which I am tired. But they feel like they have 531 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:37,160 Speaker 1: they get an invitation, you know, oh for sure they 532 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 1: do now and and listen, if the machine perpetuates itself, 533 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,600 Speaker 1: ladies does in the sense that there are people who 534 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:48,320 Speaker 1: see the attention that they get, and so they are constantly, 535 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 1: you know, like right here with everything, constantly on themselves 536 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,959 Speaker 1: for everything, for every anything and everything. And for some 537 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 1: people that's great. They enjoy, you know, fostering a sense 538 00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: of community that way. But really it's gone. I think 539 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,960 Speaker 1: the narrative has been lost in a lot of ways 540 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:14,520 Speaker 1: in terms of what the pros and what the positives 541 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:18,360 Speaker 1: are of that kind of sharing and that kind of access. 542 00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,840 Speaker 1: Nobody deserves that kind of access. I don't want to 543 00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 1: see you on your peloton bike with maybe I should 544 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 1: like no wash my mouth right now, but you know 545 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, it's like I don't want to see that. 546 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,480 Speaker 1: I don't want to see it. Like like if you, 547 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 1: if you do something, you're here, you're offering right now 548 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,040 Speaker 1: something to the world that people need. But they don't 549 00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: need to see on your peloton bike. They don't need that, 550 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,959 Speaker 1: you know. They need what you're doing right now. They 551 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 1: need your music, they need your talking, they need your ideas, 552 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,080 Speaker 1: they need you know, and not to say that you 553 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 1: can't be inspired and inspiring, like look at me, I'm 554 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,360 Speaker 1: out here trying to do this even though it's hard, 555 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 1: and you can do it too, like there are ways 556 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:57,280 Speaker 1: to spin it, no pun intended, but you know, we 557 00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,040 Speaker 1: don't need all of it. We don't need all of it. 558 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:02,920 Speaker 1: It's so destroyed acting, it's so distract it's very noisy, 559 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: and I think it's like one thing doesn't work for everybody, right, 560 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 1: like because for as many unfollows as I get to 561 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 1: get follows, like some things people just don't like and 562 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 1: you know, I don't love, you know. I've tried to 563 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,080 Speaker 1: find a balance of not oversharing but still being authentic 564 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,240 Speaker 1: and still sharing, you know. So it's it's a it's 565 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 1: a really fine balance and it's it's it's honestly something 566 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,200 Speaker 1: I've struggled with, like trying to find the balance of it. 567 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,360 Speaker 1: Uh yeah, And I think with the balance, like you know, 568 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,760 Speaker 1: comes the other the outside noises. And I'm curious, like 569 00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,400 Speaker 1: where where you go when you know, because you've you've 570 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:37,480 Speaker 1: had areas in your career where people might have said 571 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 1: hateful things or like why would you break up? Or 572 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,880 Speaker 1: this either or the other, you know, with with things 573 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 1: that you've gone through, and it's like how do you 574 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:48,480 Speaker 1: just go no, like not not receiving that sometimes obviously 575 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 1: we have to unplug um, but we also have to 576 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,720 Speaker 1: offer ourselves with perspect and this is why I think 577 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:57,080 Speaker 1: acts will close community. You know, from from an evolutionary 578 00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 1: perspective where where sociology is concerned. As human beings, we're 579 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,000 Speaker 1: really not supposed to have anything bigger than like a 580 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 1: community of one hundred and fifty people around us. Those 581 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,719 Speaker 1: are the closest ones that you know. It starts with 582 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:13,320 Speaker 1: our family, um, which brings with it its own stuff, 583 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,720 Speaker 1: But it starts with our family, and it continues in 584 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 1: those concentric circles you know, within within a certain community size. 585 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:26,120 Speaker 1: So it's overwhelming to have all of these people able 586 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 1: to being able to offer their opinions not only alike 587 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:35,160 Speaker 1: or a dislike, but like actual words, context and words 588 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 1: you know, for what they feel. Um, it's it's overwhelming. 589 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 1: All that's overwhelming. So I think unplugging is important and 590 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,160 Speaker 1: then keeping that close knit group you're real friends, like 591 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 1: your ladies who you know, who are your your tribe, 592 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, and coming back to that 593 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:54,080 Speaker 1: and talking to people in real time and going to dinner, 594 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:58,280 Speaker 1: you know, and taking time to look deeply into the 595 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 1: eyes of your beloved and like to really put your 596 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,479 Speaker 1: phone down when you're with your children, and you know 597 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,600 Speaker 1: all of those things. It's just such a distraction. And 598 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,680 Speaker 1: then not to mention how much your feelings can be hurt. 599 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,960 Speaker 1: I mean, let's just say it, like we're human beings 600 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: and someone can make a comment, one little comment. You 601 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:21,320 Speaker 1: could have five billion positive comments and one person says 602 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:24,160 Speaker 1: that one thing on the comment, and your day is ruined. 603 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:26,840 Speaker 1: Nobody should have that power. You do not live rent 604 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 1: free in here, you know what I'm saying, Like you 605 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,920 Speaker 1: should not have that power. Well, and that's something too. 606 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,480 Speaker 1: I was I was talking to Catherine about KAB. I 607 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,000 Speaker 1: never told you this, but I wanted to do a 608 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:41,240 Speaker 1: show where you basically you'd confront your online bullies because whoever, 609 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,960 Speaker 1: whatever they're like, they're going through something too. So it's 610 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 1: almost like you can end up having in a way 611 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 1: empathy for the bully as well, because like they're dealing 612 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 1: with something and you can kind of sit with the 613 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 1: person and go, Okay, like this hurt me, and like 614 00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,720 Speaker 1: what's hurting you to basically say these things? You know, 615 00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,960 Speaker 1: And so I thought it was kind of cool. But yes, no, no, 616 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,040 Speaker 1: I love that, you know. I'm like, remember I love 617 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:05,840 Speaker 1: it too, Like who was it that did. I think 618 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 1: it was on balance where he did this whole series 619 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,760 Speaker 1: when he was like, read, they would have celebrities reading 620 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,320 Speaker 1: their nasty Twitter fanily, Yeah, and I've had to I 621 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,279 Speaker 1: got off Twitter. I was just like, I haven't. I 622 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,440 Speaker 1: haven't been on it in years. And then when everything 623 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:22,200 Speaker 1: has just gotten so crazy with it, I was like that, 624 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:24,720 Speaker 1: I don't have time. I can't do every single Twitter, 625 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:28,560 Speaker 1: TikTok Instagram. I can't. I can't. Yeah, But all that 626 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,520 Speaker 1: was to say, like he would have them read those 627 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:36,480 Speaker 1: nasty comments, and when you hear it, it's it's shocking. 628 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:43,920 Speaker 1: You can't be leave that absolute strangers would be so bold, Yeah, 629 00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,960 Speaker 1: and so unfounded. That's what really gets Like, you know nothing. 630 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:49,400 Speaker 1: You don't know me, you don't know my heart, you 631 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,080 Speaker 1: don't even know my birthday. Get out of here. What 632 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:55,279 Speaker 1: do you have to say out? Jennifer? Are you? Are 633 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:59,040 Speaker 1: you UM? What's your background with UM? Like? Are you 634 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,600 Speaker 1: are you religious at all? Or where do you fall 635 00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:05,160 Speaker 1: with that? I chose and call myself a recovering Baptist. 636 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:09,400 Speaker 1: I grew up in the Southern Baptist church that we 637 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:13,799 Speaker 1: went to church three times a week, okay, Wednesday and 638 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:18,839 Speaker 1: twice on Sunday. Wow, um, yes ma'am and yes ma'am 639 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 1: and amen. I mean there's a part of that. I'm 640 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,680 Speaker 1: so grateful for it because it definitely gave me such 641 00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,440 Speaker 1: a background of faith. I do think a spiritual life. 642 00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,799 Speaker 1: But um, I you know, for since that time, I 643 00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:33,240 Speaker 1: have definitely expanded and I practiced yoga, and I practiced 644 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,000 Speaker 1: some elements of Buddhism, and I bring and I you know, 645 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:39,160 Speaker 1: I'll even harken back to I love the womanly arts 646 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:43,200 Speaker 1: and what we would call the craft and ancient ancient religions, 647 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:46,920 Speaker 1: nature religions, all of those I can pull from at 648 00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 1: a different time. And I'm like, listen, whatever will help. 649 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 1: I don't care what do you want to do, con 650 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:56,760 Speaker 1: or something, kill a chicken, throw the bomb. If something 651 00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,000 Speaker 1: is going to bring me good vibes, bring me good 652 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,399 Speaker 1: and energy, bring me to that place of center and 653 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:07,000 Speaker 1: remind me of that that face and that worthiness, then yeah, 654 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:11,040 Speaker 1: I'm I'm into it. And you are obviously into farmer 655 00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,719 Speaker 1: wants a wife. So I mean when when you got 656 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,880 Speaker 1: that call, were you just kind of like what what 657 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:21,360 Speaker 1: were your like initial like what my initial responsive? No? 658 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:26,880 Speaker 1: Thank you, because I'm not really into the whole dating 659 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,040 Speaker 1: reality dating genre. I've never watched it. It always just 660 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:34,160 Speaker 1: seemed just too forced and a lot of wanting that 661 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:37,120 Speaker 1: that scandal and wanting, you know, people to be crying 662 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,400 Speaker 1: at the end of some emanations, ceremony. Everything sounded so 663 00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 1: just dramatics. So I've never watched those and I've never 664 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,880 Speaker 1: been into them. So at first I was like no, 665 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:47,920 Speaker 1: And then when I heard more about it and the 666 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,880 Speaker 1: success that it has had, this really turned me in 667 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 1: onto it. Because obviously it's had success as a show, 668 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,279 Speaker 1: but the success it's had in relationships. This this show 669 00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 1: has been around for thirteen years, it's been in thirty 670 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,720 Speaker 1: two different countries, and it has had, as a result, 671 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,040 Speaker 1: over one hundred and eighty marriages and over four hundred 672 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:09,520 Speaker 1: and ten children. Oh I love that the people, and 673 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:12,880 Speaker 1: a lot of those marriages still marriages to my understanding, 674 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,000 Speaker 1: you know, I mean, if there's four hundred ten children, 675 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,600 Speaker 1: they wait, they at least made it long enough to 676 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:22,280 Speaker 1: go that far. So yeah, and so I just felt like, oh, 677 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:26,400 Speaker 1: there's something, there's something authentic about this, And so I 678 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,719 Speaker 1: watched one of the Australian episodes and thought, oh no, 679 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:35,240 Speaker 1: this has heart. This isn't. This isn't about the scandal 680 00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,200 Speaker 1: or the drama. This is about real connection and real people. 681 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,040 Speaker 1: And sure they're doing it in what I call the 682 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:46,239 Speaker 1: hyper reality of cameras, but they and then having done 683 00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:48,600 Speaker 1: the show, now it is definitely true. You know, you 684 00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:50,840 Speaker 1: root for these guys. I rooted for them and for 685 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:54,720 Speaker 1: these women and wanting them to find love. It's also 686 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,759 Speaker 1: bringing light to some other things like wildly important and 687 00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:02,840 Speaker 1: overlooked so often, which is like the farmers of our world. 688 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,240 Speaker 1: I mean, we we forget. I was raised in a 689 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,080 Speaker 1: tiny town and I was an FHA girl, and I 690 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:13,640 Speaker 1: had a girl. Okay, but none of these guys, these 691 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,920 Speaker 1: are Have you looked at the men. These are not 692 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 1: the farmers, your typical farmers, so I want to come on, 693 00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 1: They're not the guys that did driver your tractor to 694 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,400 Speaker 1: school day when I was in high school, if I'm honest, 695 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,400 Speaker 1: But I don't know about that. I bet if you, 696 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,200 Speaker 1: if you, if you looked back at some of the 697 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:31,200 Speaker 1: I mean, obviously a lot of women are where we're 698 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,399 Speaker 1: school and they're older, and the farmers are older. That's 699 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,279 Speaker 1: his own. But these guys are young. You know, they're 700 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:38,240 Speaker 1: all in their thirty and they are real life farmers. 701 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,800 Speaker 1: They're you know, they have cattle, they have forces, and 702 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,000 Speaker 1: this is their life and their lifestyle. But we have 703 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,960 Speaker 1: to think, you know, there are people out there who 704 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,040 Speaker 1: have to continue this tradition. They don't all look like 705 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,879 Speaker 1: our grandparents. They can't, right, how are we going to eat? 706 00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,640 Speaker 1: And many and many of these guys are actually you know, 707 00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 1: second third generation. That's well, it's I'm excited to watch it. 708 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,399 Speaker 1: It's on Fox Farmer, Once a Wife. It premiered um 709 00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:09,000 Speaker 1: last week, and uh so I'm definitely and I love you. 710 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,160 Speaker 1: I've always loved you. I think I love how you've 711 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,719 Speaker 1: used your voice in a way, um, you know, for 712 00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:18,200 Speaker 1: women and country music, and I love that you, um 713 00:39:18,200 --> 00:39:20,880 Speaker 1: you didn't put yourself in a box like you you're acting, 714 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,080 Speaker 1: you're you know, you're hosting, you're you know, doing the 715 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:28,359 Speaker 1: collab album and it's just I just you, Um, You've 716 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,200 Speaker 1: You've been very inspiring for me to watch and just 717 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:35,160 Speaker 1: to see how you've always hold yourself with such grace 718 00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 1: and presence. And it's just I appreciate that, like I'm 719 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,440 Speaker 1: thank you. Well, I'm seeing a lot of that here 720 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,120 Speaker 1: right now too. You know, not only the grace and presence, 721 00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:46,399 Speaker 1: but also of you all. But also you know, the 722 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:50,640 Speaker 1: expansion into new things, the the the honoring you know, 723 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:54,319 Speaker 1: your inspirations and trying new things and not staying in 724 00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:57,120 Speaker 1: a box. I appreciate that. I love that. So what's 725 00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,360 Speaker 1: next for you, Jennifer? Like you've done, like you do? 726 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:04,600 Speaker 1: Like what's next? You know, I can't speaking of you 727 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,279 Speaker 1: know what Jenna said. I I can't stay in a box. 728 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,520 Speaker 1: And so I'm constantly you know, I'm a virgo. So 729 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,279 Speaker 1: so part of what that is is like we see 730 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,000 Speaker 1: things with new eyes. We love new things. We constantly 731 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,040 Speaker 1: approach things like you know, it's the first time. So 732 00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:20,879 Speaker 1: that's sort of my limbs on the world. And so 733 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:25,239 Speaker 1: I love expanding into newness and pushing myself in that way. 734 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:29,520 Speaker 1: So I've we just announced last week. Um, I'm a 735 00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:33,080 Speaker 1: part of the new Exorcist movie that's coming out. I 736 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,080 Speaker 1: have a key role in that. I love you, But 737 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:39,600 Speaker 1: I hate scary movies. What do I do we watch? 738 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,040 Speaker 1: Here's the thing. I can't watch them either. Yeah, watch 739 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:44,880 Speaker 1: it during the day and you can and now you know, 740 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,040 Speaker 1: you can hit if it gets too intense, you can hit. 741 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:50,080 Speaker 1: You see it in the theaters. There you go, you 742 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,399 Speaker 1: watch your f and then you tell them, let them, 743 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,440 Speaker 1: let them know if they can handle it. Okay, um, yeah, 744 00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:58,279 Speaker 1: but uh so I'm super excited about that. You know, 745 00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:02,000 Speaker 1: I love I love all for storytelling, and so my 746 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:05,480 Speaker 1: acting is just another piece of bad. I've been working 747 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,799 Speaker 1: on a musical for a number of years now that 748 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:12,000 Speaker 1: it takes a long time to get these things right, 749 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:15,279 Speaker 1: and but the momentum for that is really picking up. 750 00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:19,319 Speaker 1: So I hope to be able to announce more about that. 751 00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:22,160 Speaker 1: And it's definitely my obsession. When I'm not you know, 752 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:25,200 Speaker 1: doing something else, I'm wanting to be creating on that. 753 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,280 Speaker 1: That's awesome, Jennifer. We need to do a movie together, 754 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,399 Speaker 1: like we gotta, we gotta figure something out. That would 755 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,600 Speaker 1: be really but it would be so good to be 756 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,439 Speaker 1: a romantic comedy because I want to come to set, 757 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:43,280 Speaker 1: but I'm scared everything rom com not horror. Ye please please, Well, Jennifer, 758 00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,280 Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on. We really appreciate 759 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 1: and thank you for just being open to just talk about, 760 00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:51,200 Speaker 1: you know, the highs and the lows. Yeah, this is 761 00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,320 Speaker 1: my favorite of the day. I have to say, it 762 00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,640 Speaker 1: just felt like a homecoming. You know, like, oh yeah, 763 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:59,239 Speaker 1: they sure my people high we have aggressively when we're 764 00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:04,839 Speaker 1: in a person. So you're yere in la. Al right girl, 765 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:10,839 Speaker 1: al right, thank you bye. Such a beautiful I love her, 766 00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,359 Speaker 1: you guys, like I used to frock out to sugar Land, 767 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 1: like the baby girl was like trying to be all cool, 768 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,480 Speaker 1: but we're all like I remember the concert when she 769 00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:24,120 Speaker 1: came out and she wore this incredible like this is 770 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,080 Speaker 1: how I knew she would always be an actress because 771 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,920 Speaker 1: the way her stage presence was. When she was on stage, 772 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,200 Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, this is not for babies, 773 00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:37,480 Speaker 1: like she owns it. I'm gonna let you do this. 774 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:42,880 Speaker 1: Love love her so much, genuine and I really enjoyed 775 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,640 Speaker 1: the point of like I just have to touch on 776 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,560 Speaker 1: this real quick, but I enjoyed that. Like our circles 777 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:52,720 Speaker 1: shouldn't be as big. Yeah, oh you guys, and bitch, 778 00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:57,000 Speaker 1: I'm tired. I'm tired, and circles shouldn't be big. But 779 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,760 Speaker 1: it's interesting about the circles because even when your circles 780 00:42:59,760 --> 00:43:03,680 Speaker 1: are small, you might have a mole anything else you 781 00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:05,759 Speaker 1: want to share a graamer Nope, not yet. No, I 782 00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:08,279 Speaker 1: don't trust anyone. According to Amy. So apparently there's more 783 00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:16,680 Speaker 1: my circle too. We're finding out. Don't worry. We gotta 784 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:18,640 Speaker 1: I trust you? Do you trust me? Are we the 785 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,880 Speaker 1: mole see or each other? We'll see. I gotta. We 786 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,400 Speaker 1: got a p I word getting hired. There a girlfriend, 787 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,080 Speaker 1: so we'll see it. Wouldn't that be interesting? Our therapist 788 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:33,040 Speaker 1: is like, h but there's two monkeys in a room together. 789 00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,640 Speaker 1: If our nice appointment is a joint appointment. We've gotten 790 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,239 Speaker 1: to the bottom of this quickly and it's been a 791 00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:40,440 Speaker 1: pleasure all the time. It's soon I wind down. Okay, 792 00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:43,920 Speaker 1: I wish it was that easy. I'm too protective of 793 00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,680 Speaker 1: you to be a mole. Oh I would feel never. 794 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:49,400 Speaker 1: Oh I am so like I run tight pr for you. 795 00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:51,520 Speaker 1: People are like, how's Jana? I was like, She's great? 796 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:55,279 Speaker 1: Like hi dat. They will never they will never be 797 00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:56,880 Speaker 1: a time where they know where I'm going or who 798 00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:59,640 Speaker 1: I'm going to dinner with. I just nope, nothing. We'll 799 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:03,520 Speaker 1: see baby already now. I already know I love you 800 00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:08,680 Speaker 1: Atroit strong Um all right, hey guys, yeah, we'll see 801 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:13,000 Speaker 1: you in Okay. So we got DC Wednesday and we've 802 00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:16,879 Speaker 1: got Philly on Thursday. See you there, ye one two 803 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:21,960 Speaker 1: three Bye. I wonder how much they hate that, ye guys,