Speaker 1: Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
Speaker 1: put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
Speaker 1: share with you on our daily podcast, Hey It's Delilah.
Speaker 1: Every night on my radio show, I have a feature
Speaker 1: called Delilah's Dilemmas. Or Folks call me or write me
Speaker 1: and share a sticky situation they're in and I try
Speaker 1: to help them figure out the best course of action. Today,
Speaker 1: We're going to listen to some of those unique situations
Speaker 1: right here on Hey It's Delilah. Audrey says, I have
Speaker 1: a fairly big problem. I've been seeing a man for
Speaker 1: seven months now, and we are and we're very close
Speaker 1: friends before we decided to become a couple. The problem
Speaker 1: is I'm very free spirited and I love change. He,
Speaker 1: on the other hand, likes contentment and stability. I know
Speaker 1: he would never hurt me overall. He's a great man
Speaker 1: and I care for him, but he smothers me at times,
Speaker 1: treating me like I'm a child who is fragile. I
Speaker 1: do admit he knows about my challenges. For one, I
Speaker 1: have an eating disorder and I still struggle with that somewhat.
Speaker 1: Even so, I feel like he sees me as a needy,
Speaker 1: unstable woman. Even at my weakest, I'm strong, independent and
Speaker 1: have always said I do not need a man anyway.
Speaker 1: There is a new person in my life and I
Speaker 1: love the chemistry. It's amazing and exciting. My friend says
Speaker 1: I must pick one, and for the past week I
Speaker 1: keep going back and forth. I love my boyfriend, but
Speaker 1: I can't seem to get enough of my new friend.
Speaker 1: Please help me, from Aubrey, Aubrey, I will have my
Speaker 1: words for you coming up next. Tonight's letter is from Aubrey,
Speaker 1: a free spirited woman who is committed to one man
Speaker 1: and falling in love with another. And Aubrey, I have
Speaker 1: in your shoes more times than I can count, and
Speaker 1: it's not a good place to be. And all I
Speaker 1: can tell you is, please talk to your best friends. Please,
Speaker 1: please please talk to your best friends. They know you,
Speaker 1: they love you, they support you. Get a good night's sleep,
Speaker 1: step back and look and ask yourself what you really
Speaker 1: really want out of life, and pray hard, girlfriend, because
Speaker 1: that's where your answers will come from. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma
Speaker 1: is from Linda, who says, I know in this economy,
Speaker 1: one should be happy they have a job and can
Speaker 1: make a modest living. However, my dilemma is that my
Speaker 1: job is making me sick. My boss is a micro
Speaker 1: manager who never passes up a chance to belittle me
Speaker 1: and ask me to my face, what's wrong with you.
Speaker 1: I'm in my mid fifties, I'm financially sound, married and
Speaker 1: have wonderful grown children. I am of above average intelligence,
Speaker 1: and I'm currently working in finance. I have outside creative hobbies.
Speaker 1: I do charity work. My health is good, except lately
Speaker 1: I'm stressed to the point of nausea and all the
Speaker 1: ugliness that comes with this job. My friends tell me
Speaker 1: I need to find another job. At this point in time,
Speaker 1: I'm willing to take a cut and pay or take
Speaker 1: a part time job in the evenings. I know others
Speaker 1: have bigger problems than me, and I don't like feeling
Speaker 1: sorry for myself, but I'm nearing the end of my
Speaker 1: rope and I'm on the verge of tears all the time.
Speaker 1: Even my doctor is warning me employers don't want someone
Speaker 1: my age, and there's so much competition from younger people
Speaker 1: who have higher educations than me. Going tonight school is
Speaker 1: out of the question. I don't have the energy to
Speaker 1: do that. I was hoping the new year would help,
Speaker 1: but it isn't. I feel stuck. Can you help me?
Speaker 1: From Linda? Linda, girlfriend, I will have my words of
Speaker 1: advice for you coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is
Speaker 1: from Linda, who is working at a job with somebody
Speaker 1: who is cruel and unkind. You know what I find amazing, Linda,
Speaker 1: is that you spent one two, three, four four sentences
Speaker 1: in your letter to me defending yourself, telling me that
Speaker 1: you are married, you have wonderful grown children, you're of
Speaker 1: above average intelligence. In other words, you were arguing with
Speaker 1: this idiot boss and his question of what's wrong with
Speaker 1: you to me. You don't need to prove that to me.
Speaker 1: You don't need to prove it to you, You don't
Speaker 1: need to prove it to anybody. You sure Zec don't
Speaker 1: need to prove it to him. What you need to
Speaker 1: do is to change your thinking and stop giving him
Speaker 1: permission to steal your joy. So why are you letting
Speaker 1: his cruel, abusive words affect you? So when he walks
Speaker 1: in and says you're not smart or there's something wrong
Speaker 1: with you, it's as ludicrous as him saying that you're
Speaker 1: a bicycle built for two. You know what, you are,
Speaker 1: an intelligent, competent, beautiful, loving, charitable woman. Don't let his
Speaker 1: stupid lies steal your joy. Instead of getting up in
Speaker 1: your head and arguing with him, you need to say
Speaker 1: a prayer and say, God, I know that I am
Speaker 1: fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that I am smart
Speaker 1: and capable, So please don't let his stupid cruel words
Speaker 1: steal my joy. And then you go about your day
Speaker 1: doing your business. You either do that or you choose
Speaker 1: to believe that the talents and the gifts and the
Speaker 1: skills you have are valuable and you walk out and
Speaker 1: you say, I don't need this mess. So you can
Speaker 1: either choose to not let him steal your joy or
Speaker 1: you can exercise your options. Either way, stop letting this
Speaker 1: idiot hurt you. Okay. I received this letter from a
Speaker 1: listener named Heather, who says, Hi, Delilah. My name is
Speaker 1: Heather and I'm almost twenty two years old. I've known
Speaker 1: my boyfriend since we were kids, and now we've been
Speaker 1: dating for a little over a year. His mother doesn't
Speaker 1: seem to like me yet I've done nothing wrong. He
Speaker 1: tells me everything she says. She's a really picky lady,
Speaker 1: a clean freak. So I started washing his clothes to
Speaker 1: get her to have a little better perspective of me.
Speaker 1: Well that didn't work, she said, quote, she left your
Speaker 1: clothes in the dryer. She's so lazy. So after that,
Speaker 1: I made sure I stayed and finished the washing, the drying,
Speaker 1: the folding, the putting them away. I even tried helping
Speaker 1: with the dishes when I'm over there, and still she
Speaker 1: always looks at me with disdain. This is upsetting to
Speaker 1: me because I love her son. Due to this stress,
Speaker 1: I haven't seen her in about two months. I know
Speaker 1: I'm avoiding her and I can't keep doing that. She
Speaker 1: will someday be my mother in law. What should I do?
Speaker 1: From Heather? Heather, I will have my remarks, my comments,
Speaker 1: my thoughts on your situation coming up next. Tonight's Delilah
Speaker 1: dilemma came from a young woman, twenty two year old
Speaker 1: girl named Heather, who is trying to jump through hoops
Speaker 1: to please her future mother in law. And this is
Speaker 1: what I would say to you, Heather. There is a
Speaker 1: very telling sentence in your letter to me. It says,
Speaker 1: he tells me everything. She says, she's a really picky lady,
Speaker 1: and that tells me, Heather, your problem is not with
Speaker 1: your future mother in law. Your problem is with your
Speaker 1: future husband. If he is taking unkind things his mother
Speaker 1: has said about you and reporting them directly back to you,
Speaker 1: he doesn't love you. Love never inflicts pain upon another
Speaker 1: one purposefully, and what he is doing by reporting his
Speaker 1: unkind mother's comments is inflicting pain upon your heart and
Speaker 1: manipulating you. You are not his slave, you're his girlfriend,
Speaker 1: his fiance, his beloved. Why in the world would you
Speaker 1: be washing his clothes, folding his clothes trying to earn
Speaker 1: her approval? What a crazy relationship. If he loved you,
Speaker 1: he would say, honey, don't touch my clothes. It's not
Speaker 1: your job to clean my dirty clothes. It's my job.
Speaker 1: And if you were so kind as to help him
Speaker 1: and do something to bless him, like wash his laundry,
Speaker 1: the last thing in the world he should do is
Speaker 1: tell you you didn't do it good enough for his
Speaker 1: mother's approval. Run for the hills, girlfriend, Do not pass, go,
Speaker 1: do not collect you one hundred dollars, do not get
Speaker 1: any further deeply involved with such a manipulative family, or
Speaker 1: you will be miserable. I so hope you have enjoyed
Speaker 1: these radio moments as much as I enjoy bringing them
Speaker 1: to you. I'll share more with you each weekday on
Speaker 1: Hey It's Delilah.