1
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:11,000
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank you

2
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,280
Speaker 1: so much for joining us again. We're so excited to

3
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:14,880
Speaker 1: be back.

4
00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,560
Speaker 2: We are always so excited to be back. And I

5
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:20,600
Speaker 2: don't know, Susan what people are doing, but if they're

6
00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:25,000
Speaker 2: not following this podcast, you need to. You need to

7
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,560
Speaker 2: never miss an episode. All you have to do is

8
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:31,040
Speaker 2: search for Bachelor Happy Hour in the podcast app and

9
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,360
Speaker 2: then hit the follow button.

10
00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:36,480
Speaker 1: Yes, it's super important to follow the podcast because you're

11
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,120
Speaker 1: going to get notified every time we put out a

12
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,960
Speaker 1: new episode. And while you're there, you can leave us

13
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,320
Speaker 1: a review or send it a question. We'd be happy

14
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:46,159
Speaker 1: to talk about it.

15
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:50,640
Speaker 2: And please check out all of our past episodes. We've

16
00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:53,680
Speaker 2: just had so many incredible guests that I know you'll

17
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,920
Speaker 2: want to listen to those episodes, and we've been having

18
00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,279
Speaker 2: fun answering your questions, so please keep those. I mean,

19
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,480
Speaker 2: all you have to do is go to Bachelornation dot

20
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:07,399
Speaker 2: com slash Golden Hour and we will be happy to

21
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,640
Speaker 2: answer your questions. We have some great questions to get

22
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:10,800
Speaker 2: to today too.

23
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:15,440
Speaker 1: But first we want to introduce our very very special guests,

24
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,640
Speaker 1: and she's so special to me, Bachelor Nation star and

25
00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:25,840
Speaker 1: longtime fan favorite Demi Bernard. Hi, Demi, thank you so

26
00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:27,560
Speaker 1: much for joining us today.

27
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,240
Speaker 2: I love it.

28
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:32,360
Speaker 3: I love you. I'm so happy I'm here. I miss you.

29
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:33,520
Speaker 4: I miss you.

30
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:37,160
Speaker 1: We just did a little show together that everybody will

31
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,240
Speaker 1: know in the fall, hopefully. But Demi, this is my

32
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,800
Speaker 1: bff Kathy. Hi, demmy my wife Crime.

33
00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,480
Speaker 2: You are as gorgeous and adorable as Susan said you are.

34
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,560
Speaker 2: She said she looks just like Barbie, and I have

35
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:51,640
Speaker 2: to say, you do.

36
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:57,920
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank You's this big, this big. Everything she

37
00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,480
Speaker 1: puts on her body works no matter what it is.

38
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:01,920
Speaker 4: I mean, it's just a door.

39
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,720
Speaker 2: And she's got fabulous hair. Can I just before we

40
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,640
Speaker 2: get into conversation with Demi, for those of you who

41
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:11,280
Speaker 2: don't know her, she's adorable and she has the most

42
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,200
Speaker 2: incredible head of hair. And I do think, except for

43
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:18,040
Speaker 2: you and I, Susan, the prerequisite to being a member

44
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:22,680
Speaker 2: of Bachelor Nation is to have incredible hair. Hair.

45
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:24,920
Speaker 3: It's the secret to life.

46
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,080
Speaker 2: Like I oh, is that? I guess my life is over.

47
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:30,919
Speaker 3: I'm sorry. I don't mean that.

48
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,160
Speaker 4: No, I fixed really doesn't.

49
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,560
Speaker 5: It really doesn't matter. Like as long as you're just

50
00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,520
Speaker 5: confident you work with what you got. But for me,

51
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,400
Speaker 5: like I grewined my hair at one point and it

52
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:45,000
Speaker 5: all fried off, and once I grew back, I was

53
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,760
Speaker 5: very appreciative of like taking care of my hair and

54
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,400
Speaker 5: making sure they stayed healthy because I felt like it

55
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,760
Speaker 5: really changed my life. But again, like my hair wasn't

56
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,160
Speaker 5: it was fried off and disgusting and bleached, so like

57
00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,720
Speaker 5: it really changed my look a bit.

58
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,600
Speaker 2: Like you know, well, let me tell you your back

59
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,880
Speaker 2: because it's gorgeous now, thank you, thank you.

60
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:09,200
Speaker 5: It's really all about just not bleaching it. You put

61
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,120
Speaker 5: bleach in your hair, you're ruin it. I used to

62
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,560
Speaker 5: get it highlighted once a year. Now I don't even

63
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,280
Speaker 5: highlight it at all. I almost I cut almost all

64
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,560
Speaker 5: the blonde out of my banks.

65
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:19,959
Speaker 4: Yeah it's still blond.

66
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,919
Speaker 3: I know, I know it's all good. Anyway, enough about

67
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:23,239
Speaker 3: my hair.

68
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,040
Speaker 4: Quick question for you.

69
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,880
Speaker 1: You know we all just celebrated Pride month, right, So

70
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:34,120
Speaker 1: what does pride being to you and what does Bachelor

71
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:38,120
Speaker 1: Nation support meant to you over the years.

72
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:45,640
Speaker 5: Oh, my goodness, Bachelor Nation support. It's the biggest thing

73
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:49,840
Speaker 5: that like it's the main reason that I could come out,

74
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,280
Speaker 5: Like they supported me so much that it led into

75
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:56,000
Speaker 5: my personal life to where like people who normally would

76
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,119
Speaker 5: not have accepted that saw the support from Bachelor Nation

77
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,680
Speaker 5: and God on board. Yeah, so like the Bachelor Nation

78
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,720
Speaker 5: was like a crucial role in Bachelor Nation fandom was

79
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,960
Speaker 5: like a crucial role in the support that I needed

80
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,680
Speaker 5: to come out and to feel safe and doing it

81
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,720
Speaker 5: in such a public way too, because like I did

82
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,279
Speaker 5: not feel safe enough to tell people.

83
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,839
Speaker 2: Mean, when did you come out? I'm sorry, when.

84
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:23,000
Speaker 5: Did you come out on Bachelor in Paradise? That's right,

85
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,960
Speaker 5: that's right in twenty I don't even know when that was.

86
00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:26,599
Speaker 5: Twenty nineteen.

87
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,599
Speaker 4: Yeah, where are we today?

88
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,120
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm just alone.

89
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,520
Speaker 2: That's when I joined the CLU.

90
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,599
Speaker 1: When I asked her what about the boyfriend's girlfriends anything,

91
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:38,640
Speaker 1: she goes, No, I don't date.

92
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,440
Speaker 2: No, you don't date at all.

93
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,960
Speaker 3: No, No, it is all it is is trouble.

94
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,000
Speaker 5: It's frustrating, and it's just toys with your emotions.

95
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,919
Speaker 3: It's nobody's really ready right now to date me. I

96
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,560
Speaker 3: mean like I wasn't ready to date for a long time,

97
00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,960
Speaker 3: and now I feel like people.

98
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:57,000
Speaker 5: Are not ready to date me because I don't know.

99
00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,360
Speaker 5: I I love my life as it is. I love

100
00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,240
Speaker 5: what I do, Like I love how I'm able to

101
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:07,039
Speaker 5: just be myself wholeheartedly, and like all I would want

102
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,560
Speaker 5: is somebody who's going to add some kind of benefit

103
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,839
Speaker 5: to that, you know, not to ever take anything away

104
00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:12,200
Speaker 5: from it.

105
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:18,839
Speaker 2: So well, you sound like someone who really is a

106
00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:21,240
Speaker 2: lot older than your years because people say, oh, I

107
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,560
Speaker 2: just want a man to complete me, And the truth

108
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,240
Speaker 2: is you want to be a complete person yourself, which

109
00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:29,520
Speaker 2: you seem to be, and then have the guy that

110
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:33,520
Speaker 2: just compliments you or the girl the contents you want that, right, right?

111
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I get me wrong, There is this deep

112
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,800
Speaker 5: desire inside of me that is secretly like I just

113
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,240
Speaker 5: want someone to come and just take like take care

114
00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:43,839
Speaker 5: of me and fix all my problems and like then

115
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:44,960
Speaker 5: I'll feel complete once.

116
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,159
Speaker 4: I have a party.

117
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,040
Speaker 3: That is exactly what I need.

118
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,400
Speaker 2: Fee Oh, I think you and I are related.

119
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,719
Speaker 3: I desperately need someone to beat me.

120
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,680
Speaker 5: But there but then there's like this the bigger part

121
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,920
Speaker 5: of my brain takes over. That's like, you cannot expect

122
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,200
Speaker 5: anybody to be feeding you like a partner. Can't You

123
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,599
Speaker 5: need to have a system works out for yourself already

124
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,200
Speaker 5: to where you're like, because I have a hard time eating,

125
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,240
Speaker 5: Like I need people to help feed me and whatever.

126
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,440
Speaker 5: But I can't be expecting that out of a partner, you.

127
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,919
Speaker 2: Know, well wait wait, wait, wait, stop, you're saying you

128
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,520
Speaker 2: have trouble eating or or like wait.

129
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:26,520
Speaker 1: To get the food in front of people issue. So

130
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,920
Speaker 1: I would make her a plate and she'd be happy

131
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:29,599
Speaker 1: you need it.

132
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,640
Speaker 5: And it's it's really uncomfortable to ask people like to

133
00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,760
Speaker 5: help me like that because it sounds so ridiculous.

134
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,840
Speaker 3: But I'm like, I will literally never go and get

135
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,720
Speaker 3: the plate. I will not eat. And it's not on purpose.

136
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,680
Speaker 5: It's like my body is so anxious, my brain is

137
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:47,160
Speaker 5: so anxious, and it's avoiding that situation. It's just protect myself.

138
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,039
Speaker 5: But from what nothing like uh probably there's just a

139
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,560
Speaker 5: lot of awkward social interactions that are happening in the kitchen,

140
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,039
Speaker 5: a lot of people that I don't really talk to,

141
00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:56,960
Speaker 5: and I'm scared I might say the wrong thing too,

142
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,000
Speaker 5: they might perceive it wrong, and now we I'm like

143
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,000
Speaker 5: having this misunderstand and I was just trying to get

144
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,120
Speaker 5: some meat loaf, you know.

145
00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,279
Speaker 4: But at home, you feed yourself, fine, Yeah.

146
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,640
Speaker 5: At home, I have like my own systems and whatnot,

147
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:13,560
Speaker 5: like and I mean if I Sometimes I don't. Sometimes

148
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,360
Speaker 5: it's so hard like but lately of what I've been

149
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,160
Speaker 5: doing is I've just been making sure that I eat

150
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,200
Speaker 5: something for breakfast, and I eat something good and like wholesome,

151
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:23,080
Speaker 5: So that way, if I don't eat lunch, it's okay

152
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,080
Speaker 5: because I know I'm gonna hit dinner because I can't

153
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:26,400
Speaker 5: go to bed without dinner.

154
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,760
Speaker 4: I just can't understand either one of you. You could

155
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:29,160
Speaker 4: both do.

156
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:33,720
Speaker 1: I'm like several meals a day, and if they were

157
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,400
Speaker 1: put in front of.

158
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:36,800
Speaker 2: Me, wait, can I just tell you. Susan and I

159
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,080
Speaker 2: will talk on the phone at night sometimes and she's

160
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,800
Speaker 2: in bed and cheese eating. I'm like, what the hell, Oh,

161
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,560
Speaker 2: I'm just having a snack before I go to sleep.

162
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:47,800
Speaker 2: I'm like, what are you serious? Like you catch yeast.

163
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,000
Speaker 3: Bags and snacks At this thing we were doing, she

164
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,640
Speaker 3: was eating smaller my.

165
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:52,680
Speaker 4: Night stand drawer.

166
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,160
Speaker 2: My husband did all the cooking, and I honestly forget

167
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,600
Speaker 2: about eating. I don't think of That's.

168
00:07:58,360 --> 00:07:58,800
Speaker 4: What it is.

169
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:03,680
Speaker 5: It's like you're my brain automatically, not on purpose. It

170
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,880
Speaker 5: thinks about like the things that I need to be doing,

171
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:09,120
Speaker 5: like my to do list, and it's like eat automatically

172
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,960
Speaker 5: clean something, you know, like we're not doing that.

173
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:12,960
Speaker 3: That's a waste of time.

174
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:17,880
Speaker 2: Fold that little laundry, hold that little laundry standard.

175
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,600
Speaker 5: To like kids, I've done really good with my breakfast

176
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,480
Speaker 5: and my dinner, and of course I always have dessert.

177
00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:23,600
Speaker 3: It's lunch that I have a hard time.

178
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,720
Speaker 2: All right, Well, I know that just from what I've

179
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:32,240
Speaker 2: read that you've been really open about your experience with

180
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:35,520
Speaker 2: autism and sobriety. So tell me how you're doing with

181
00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:35,960
Speaker 2: all that.

182
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:41,760
Speaker 3: Great. I'll be three years alcohol free on July twenty four.

183
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:48,400
Speaker 5: Congrats, thank you, thank you so much. And the ad

184
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,040
Speaker 5: autism thing, you know, it's going great. I feel like

185
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:56,080
Speaker 5: it's still just as impactful to people to this day,

186
00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:00,320
Speaker 5: Like I still have so many people relating to the

187
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,520
Speaker 5: content I post about it and just replying to me

188
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,360
Speaker 5: with these messages, whether I'm helping them, which is like

189
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:09,040
Speaker 5: probably another AFAB woman like me out there late diagnosed,

190
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:13,000
Speaker 5: or people's children helping them understand like their children's behaviors

191
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,400
Speaker 5: just by like hearing the reasoning.

192
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,600
Speaker 3: Behind mine people's husbands.

193
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,840
Speaker 5: That one's been the most interesting to me because I'm like, yeah,

194
00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:25,480
Speaker 5: like because I can understand so many, like kind of

195
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,200
Speaker 5: like narcissistic or mean men in my life. And I'm like, yeah,

196
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,240
Speaker 5: it's pretty sure to undiagnosed autism.

197
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:34,880
Speaker 2: And wait, can you break that down for me what

198
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,280
Speaker 2: you just said? I mean, can you just explain that

199
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:38,000
Speaker 2: a little bit more.

200
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:42,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, So, like autistic men can present not all, but

201
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,800
Speaker 5: it's kind of typical that they present emotionless or lack

202
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:52,160
Speaker 5: of empathy. So a narcissistic person, you know, has lack

203
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,480
Speaker 5: of empathy, got it. So that's kind of just like

204
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,359
Speaker 5: a similarity. You know, there's all kinds.

205
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:02,679
Speaker 1: Of so many such a spectrum exactly.

206
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,520
Speaker 5: And also I feel like when you go undiagnosed autistic

207
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:10,040
Speaker 5: for so long, you develop a personality disorder because you

208
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,080
Speaker 5: have been traumatizing your brain repetitively, like telling yourself like no,

209
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,160
Speaker 5: you can't do that, that's not what you're supposed to do,

210
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,480
Speaker 5: like put your hands down or like whatever it is.

211
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:25,600
Speaker 5: And so you're so you just you know, created a way, yes, yes, yeah,

212
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,560
Speaker 5: very terrible environment for yourself and you're not true to

213
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:29,760
Speaker 5: yourself whatsoever.

214
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:33,199
Speaker 3: And so I mean it creates mental illness.

215
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,920
Speaker 1: So once you know, and you were diagnosed with this,

216
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,720
Speaker 1: did you feel better knowing that's why I thought the

217
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,839
Speaker 1: way I did or yes.

218
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,839
Speaker 3: But it also like took it took time.

219
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,559
Speaker 5: It took at least a year for me to calm down,

220
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,080
Speaker 5: like because once I found out like this is like

221
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,679
Speaker 5: life changing information, I was like my whole world was

222
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,840
Speaker 5: shattered and I was like, this is all fine, Like

223
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,840
Speaker 5: I there's reasons behind all of these things that I've

224
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,680
Speaker 5: you know, I've ever had excuses for or something. I'm like, no,

225
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,960
Speaker 5: this all makes sense now, Like I just need to

226
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,240
Speaker 5: go about it different ways with support, with like a

227
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:08,120
Speaker 5: helping hand, and like it's okay to need help. There's

228
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,400
Speaker 5: so much shame behind like needing help for things, and

229
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 5: I had secretly like every step.

230
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 3: In my life I had gotten with help along the way.

231
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,920
Speaker 5: Like there was never something that I did one hundred

232
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,960
Speaker 5: percent on my own, like getting an apartment. No, I

233
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,960
Speaker 5: didn't do that, Christian the girl I was engaged to

234
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,240
Speaker 5: help get this apartment for me. Like signing up for

235
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,320
Speaker 5: classes in college, all my friends I would be I

236
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,000
Speaker 5: would go to one of them last minute, Hey what

237
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,360
Speaker 5: would you how do I sad out for the classes?

238
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,280
Speaker 3: Like blah blah. I was always needing help and.

239
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,960
Speaker 1: It's almost like you didn't trust your own judgment, like

240
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,000
Speaker 1: you didn't trust what you.

241
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,760
Speaker 2: No, I don't think she's saying she didn't know how

242
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:40,160
Speaker 2: to do it.

243
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:41,560
Speaker 4: I didn't really know how.

244
00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:43,920
Speaker 5: I had no idea. In the anxiety of like trying

245
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,840
Speaker 5: to even get started on that was like like makes

246
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,160
Speaker 5: my whole body shut down. And just like I would

247
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,920
Speaker 5: never go I would never live anywhere. I mean, I

248
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,800
Speaker 5: haven't moved out of this apartment for five years. My

249
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,680
Speaker 5: rent is ridiculously expensive, but I'm not moving on because

250
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,840
Speaker 5: I can't make that Holy. I would need someone to

251
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,200
Speaker 5: help me move, you know, like, well, if you want.

252
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,040
Speaker 4: To do, Kathy and I will come out right.

253
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,600
Speaker 3: I'll call Susan if I want to move.

254
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,640
Speaker 2: I know I'm a crackerjack packer. I just tell you that.

255
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,160
Speaker 2: I mean, I can pack anything.

256
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:23,079
Speaker 3: Oh yeah.

257
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,360
Speaker 1: Do you have any words of wisdom for others dating

258
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:33,600
Speaker 1: with any type of invisible or visual disabilities, whether it's

259
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,280
Speaker 1: autism or whatever. Do you have any words of wisdom

260
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,920
Speaker 1: for people that are trying to date?

261
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:40,600
Speaker 3: Yeah?

262
00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,960
Speaker 5: I think that I get asked a lot about like, uh,

263
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:47,920
Speaker 5: if I'm neurodivergent, should I be looking to date another

264
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:51,320
Speaker 5: neurodivergent person like another autistic person, or like does it

265
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:55,400
Speaker 5: matter what? And I think that the bottom line, in

266
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,760
Speaker 5: any capacity of whatever you're looking for in someone, the

267
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,080
Speaker 5: most most important thing is somebody who is willing to

268
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:07,480
Speaker 5: listen to what you say about yourself, respect it, try

269
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,520
Speaker 5: to understand it further and be considerate of it, and

270
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:13,840
Speaker 5: never like use it against you or doubt you are,

271
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,280
Speaker 5: and then you.

272
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:15,240
Speaker 4: Wouldn't have a problem.

273
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,720
Speaker 2: Right, But let me say, I think that's good advice

274
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,520
Speaker 2: for any dating exactly exactly.

275
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:25,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, it really is, and it doesn't It doesn't really matter.

276
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,520
Speaker 5: You just need someone who's willing to understand you and

277
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,120
Speaker 5: in your way, not their way, your way.

278
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,680
Speaker 2: So what way? So that leads me exactly to my

279
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:37,880
Speaker 2: next question, which is what ways could a partner show

280
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:42,920
Speaker 2: up for someone with autism that you think would be supportive,

281
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,200
Speaker 2: that would show how supportive they are. What kinds of things?

282
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, so I could just say, like something that someone

283
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,719
Speaker 5: does for me. My friend Cecily, she's like my right

284
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,120
Speaker 5: hand man, Like before we we're about to go to

285
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,120
Speaker 5: an event or something, and we just got ready, uh

286
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,320
Speaker 5: right at the door, show have her tote bag because

287
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,040
Speaker 5: she knows I don't want to carry a big bag.

288
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:04,360
Speaker 5: She knows I just want to have a cute little

289
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,440
Speaker 5: person matches my mouth. So she has a toe bag

290
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,160
Speaker 5: and she's like, hey, I've got your headphones in here.

291
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,600
Speaker 5: Do you have your loop earplugs. Let's get snap water.

292
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,040
Speaker 5: Like she just gets me a support bag.

293
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,600
Speaker 3: She'll even like if she finds a cute little teddy bear,

294
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,160
Speaker 3: she'll teck it onto my purse or.

295
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,920
Speaker 4: Something, because we tarry are and the mole.

296
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,000
Speaker 3: Yes, we love little animals around here.

297
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,520
Speaker 1: We had little friends on the show and then this

298
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,200
Speaker 1: giant teddy bear, bigger than life.

299
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,640
Speaker 3: I can't wait for it to get here. I hopefully

300
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:31,280
Speaker 3: sift it to me.

301
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:36,320
Speaker 5: So like whatever special interest your partner may have, like

302
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,920
Speaker 5: if they're autistic and you know, like they like cutey

303
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:42,680
Speaker 5: little things or you know whatever they're really into, showing

304
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:47,200
Speaker 5: them that you notice that about them by either talking

305
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:50,160
Speaker 5: about it or getting a little gift in regards to it.

306
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,920
Speaker 5: But really it's as simple as just bringing it up

307
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,720
Speaker 5: in a conversation because it's a special interest and that

308
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,360
Speaker 5: gets us able to talk. Like it's hard for us

309
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,360
Speaker 5: sometimes to have social conversations when for me, if I'm

310
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,080
Speaker 5: not interested in anything, anyone's talking about or like I

311
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,880
Speaker 5: don't know, I wasn't there or something, you know, and

312
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:10,920
Speaker 5: I'm just like desperately trying to insert myself without being

313
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:15,000
Speaker 5: so weird. But if it's like, that's why a lot

314
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,960
Speaker 5: of times I can grow out with the guys. But

315
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,160
Speaker 5: we could talk about video games or like we can

316
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,000
Speaker 5: talk about some of these shows that I've been watching,

317
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,400
Speaker 5: because I watch a lot of shows that I guess

318
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:27,200
Speaker 5: we're more male focused audience, but still completely wonderful for

319
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:31,240
Speaker 5: females to watch as well. But I just have I'd

320
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,800
Speaker 5: love to just spew my special interests like that. So

321
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,520
Speaker 5: just noticing that about an autistic person means so much

322
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:43,720
Speaker 5: to us. And also taking our sensory sensitivity seriously, like

323
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:47,640
Speaker 5: our sound sensitivity, Like it's so nice to me when

324
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,760
Speaker 5: somebody it's just like, hey, Demmi, there's about to be

325
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,720
Speaker 5: a loud sound. Just you know, I'm like, thank you,

326
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:56,760
Speaker 5: thank you, yes, because it startles you inside and you're

327
00:15:56,800 --> 00:16:00,320
Speaker 5: like in your stomach drops and then you're like yeah,

328
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,360
Speaker 5: and really, why is nobody else so freaked out by this?

329
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,840
Speaker 1: Okay, I have a question for all three of us. Okay,

330
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,400
Speaker 1: everybody's going to talk about this one. Do you think

331
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:13,920
Speaker 1: it's important to take breaks from dating or the pressure

332
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,560
Speaker 1: of dating. Do you think it's important, Like I know

333
00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,680
Speaker 1: for me, I was on dating sites forever and the

334
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,280
Speaker 1: best thing that ever happened to me was going to

335
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,000
Speaker 1: do The Golden Bachelor because I took a big break,

336
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,640
Speaker 1: and when I came off of it, I really wasn't

337
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,960
Speaker 1: interested in going back on the dating sites.

338
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:35,080
Speaker 5: Just the people on the dating apps have never turned

339
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,120
Speaker 5: out well for me. They've all been kind of slightly aggressive,

340
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:42,720
Speaker 5: you know, like there, look, they got an attitude. I'm

341
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,480
Speaker 5: not here for any of the dating apps. I think

342
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,920
Speaker 5: it's so important for especially women, because I feel like

343
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,240
Speaker 5: we are so molded when we're young, that our whole

344
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:52,320
Speaker 5: life is about.

345
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 4: Being a man.

346
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,680
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, finding.

347
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 5: A man, being a wife and mother, that's it. What

348
00:16:56,760 --> 00:17:00,880
Speaker 5: about what we like? What about our interest? We have

349
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:04,120
Speaker 5: to establish our sense of self. We have to have hobbies,

350
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,359
Speaker 5: We have to have like a safe space, like you know,

351
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:08,960
Speaker 5: your own little nest or whatever.

352
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,800
Speaker 3: You need to have people.

353
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:15,200
Speaker 5: Not even a bunch of friends, you have, yes, yes,

354
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,320
Speaker 5: and you can't ever let that go.

355
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,360
Speaker 2: And I think that's I think that's the problem.

356
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:20,640
Speaker 4: Though.

357
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,480
Speaker 2: I'm with Susan, you know, I really haven't dated. I was,

358
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,679
Speaker 2: I mean literally did art of what she said I

359
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:29,159
Speaker 2: was on the dating app, haven't. I really haven't dated

360
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,439
Speaker 2: since I came back to the Golden bachel I'd like to,

361
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:36,000
Speaker 2: but you know, I think people were open to it.

362
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:39,200
Speaker 2: I think some people miss misunderstand who I am based

363
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,840
Speaker 2: on what they think I was like from the show.

364
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,560
Speaker 2: But that's a whole nother story. But I think in

365
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:49,320
Speaker 2: taking a break for me, it affirms my knowledge that

366
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:53,760
Speaker 2: I'm good. I'm a complete person by myself and I.

367
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,320
Speaker 1: Don't need somebody would want you to be that, that's right,

368
00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:58,879
Speaker 1: the perfect partner because you're good with you.

369
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,240
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. I don't know that. I don't know. Demmie,

370
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,240
Speaker 2: at your age, if you have found that men want

371
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,399
Speaker 2: to be wanted and they need to be needed kind

372
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,800
Speaker 2: of thing at our age, Susan, I don't think we're there.

373
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,640
Speaker 2: I don't think that's important to us anymore.

374
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:15,560
Speaker 5: But these men, these men these days, they want flowers,

375
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:19,800
Speaker 5: they want like it's it's like that, it's like you

376
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 5: have to prove yourself to them, and like I see

377
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,200
Speaker 5: my friends doing it all the time, and I'm like.

378
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,720
Speaker 3: Stop it. Stop cooking That man meals you're not even

379
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,800
Speaker 3: his girlfriend, like to prove that you would be a

380
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,320
Speaker 3: good wife, Like, no, don't let them get your cookies.

381
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,680
Speaker 1: Is that what they're doing, trying to prove they be

382
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,040
Speaker 1: a go white? Well, if I cook some man of

383
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,400
Speaker 1: meals because I like the cook I.

384
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 5: Know, I know that's true, that is very true for you. No,

385
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 5: my friends are picking up cooking as a new hobby

386
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,080
Speaker 5: all of a sudden.

387
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh god, I'm if.

388
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 5: I begged you, begged you to cook for me, beg

389
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 5: you to make me a meal, and you never did.

390
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,159
Speaker 3: But you get a boyfriend, and all of a sudden,

391
00:18:56,400 --> 00:19:00,480
Speaker 3: you're a chef. She's a chef every night I'm talking.

392
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 3: Oh makes me sick.

393
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:05,960
Speaker 1: I'm like, why, maybe she's having fun doing that? I mean,

394
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,160
Speaker 1: are they having fun?

395
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,840
Speaker 3: She's having fun doing it now?

396
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,400
Speaker 4: Yeah? What I mean? So that's okay.

397
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:13,439
Speaker 3: I'm happy for her.

398
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't judge what works for other people. I

399
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:20,400
Speaker 2: just know that I have become much happier and I'm

400
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,040
Speaker 2: okay being by myself. I'd like to find somebody else.

401
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 5: I feel like i'd like to, but also like I'm

402
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:30,000
Speaker 5: happy with myself, Like there's nothing wrong here.

403
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,439
Speaker 4: Do you and your mom ever talk about it?

404
00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:35,639
Speaker 1: Since you're both, you know, starting a good relationship together,

405
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 1: do you talk about dating?

406
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,119
Speaker 4: Does she talk about it with you?

407
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,920
Speaker 3: Well, I'm really anti her dating, Like.

408
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,879
Speaker 2: Why why?

409
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:49,160
Speaker 5: Because my mom has an illness with men and that

410
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:53,080
Speaker 5: leads to her being in prison. Like every bad decision

411
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:56,120
Speaker 5: she's ever made is because she's ill with a man,

412
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,879
Speaker 5: and like is doing everything because she's like obsessed with

413
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:03,880
Speaker 5: this man. Sessive compulsive disorder runs in my feminine my

414
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:07,880
Speaker 5: maternal lineage, and uh most of them have it by

415
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:09,800
Speaker 5: like they put every single piece of their clothes and

416
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 5: plastic bags in the in the closet or in they

417
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 5: clean until four am every night. Like her obsessiveness is

418
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,840
Speaker 5: over a man, and like so she internally obsesses and

419
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 5: compulsive behavior, Like I mean, it's just sickening to me.

420
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,080
Speaker 2: And so I guess I guess what I guess. The

421
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,639
Speaker 2: short as here is Susan she doesn't really take her

422
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,440
Speaker 2: mother's advice on anything to do with dating. I'm just

423
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 2: gonna go on.

424
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,400
Speaker 1: A limb and guess that absolutely not.

425
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,600
Speaker 2: My family is your mom was she married?

426
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,560
Speaker 5: My mom was married to my dad and then they

427
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,479
Speaker 5: divorced when I was three and then she was married

428
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 5: to this other guy for a little bit and they

429
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,439
Speaker 5: got divorced, and then she got married by law to

430
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 5: another guy dirt bag again, and now she's single. But

431
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,280
Speaker 5: I think she's maybe dating someone but again, and I

432
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 5: think it's all bad news and it's heartbreaking because I

433
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 5: just think that she needs to focus on herself.

434
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:08,920
Speaker 3: Like, girl, you just got off probation.

435
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,360
Speaker 2: Do you guys have a decent relationship.

436
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 5: We absolutely started having the best relationship once she got

437
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,639
Speaker 5: out of prison this last time, and it's so good.

438
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,400
Speaker 5: It's still very good, but like it is being tainted

439
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:25,160
Speaker 5: by her new relationship that she's having because I lose

440
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 5: trust in her.

441
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 4: She has a pattern and you've seen it.

442
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 5: Wat and me and her mother talked about it because

443
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,879
Speaker 5: I called my granny and we literally hashed up for

444
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,880
Speaker 5: hours talking about how this is the pattern and it's

445
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,640
Speaker 5: happening again, and like there's just nothing that we can.

446
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 3: Do about it.

447
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 5: Also, like my granny doesn't help, but she's very controlling

448
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,520
Speaker 5: and like, so that probably is what created this whole

449
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 5: issue to begin with, at the very beginning.

450
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:49,160
Speaker 4: Of it all.

451
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 1: It all stems from something, but who are we to

452
00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:52,920
Speaker 1: try to figure it out?

453
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's not it's not like it's anyone's fault.

454
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 5: Like That's the thing is, I feel like whenever I

455
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 5: say stuff like that, like they could take offense to it,

456
00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 5: and it's like, I'm not trying to be like you

457
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 5: did this. I'm trying to just explain and so then

458
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,439
Speaker 5: we know what we can do now, Like so we

459
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 5: need for being controlling, we know now we need to

460
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 5: just let go. Like I'm not trying to shame them

461
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 5: for it, but it's very hard to It's hard for

462
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,640
Speaker 5: me to express stuff like that with attacked like because

463
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 5: it's just such a hard thing to deliver to the sensitive.

464
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 1: Well.

465
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,760
Speaker 2: I think mother daughter relationships can be tough anyway, and

466
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,160
Speaker 2: add in all this, I mean, you know it's tough tough.

467
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 3: Do you have a daughter.

468
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 2: We both have a daughter. We both have two sons.

469
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 2: We each have two sons, and we each have one daughter.

470
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,959
Speaker 2: We both have three kids each, and my daughter is

471
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 2: my youngest and she just had her first child, and

472
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 2: you know, I took it as a great coup. She

473
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 2: told me the other night that I was right because

474
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 2: I used to say to her, when you have a child,

475
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:53,159
Speaker 2: our relationship will change. You love that oh she I

476
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,360
Speaker 2: told you this, Susan. She admitted that other she goes mom,

477
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,920
Speaker 2: you were so right, like she really needs my help.

478
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 2: And we are much us for now, because there's nothing

479
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:06,399
Speaker 2: like having a child of your own to realize that

480
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 2: your mother wasn't a mean bitch, isn't stupid and didn't

481
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 2: grow from underneath the rock yesterday. Oh wow, what a realization.

482
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 2: So that's so, you know, yes, we are very close,

483
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 2: but we are. We are close, but we had we

484
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 2: had our times. I'm very outgoing and my daughter is not.

485
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 5: You have very you have very strong personality, and I

486
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 5: love it, like I could tell like you're not going

487
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,360
Speaker 5: to back down from you know, like you you say

488
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 5: something as you meant it, because that's it. So like

489
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,760
Speaker 5: I can see with the child, of course, there's going

490
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:38,680
Speaker 5: to be allow.

491
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 2: And my daughter is much more like my husband, you know,

492
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 2: much more. She's quieter and more easy going. But I think, Susan,

493
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 2: that's why you and I get along. We're both very

494
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 2: strong personalities. But I think men we've talked about this,

495
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 2: I think men struggle with women with strong personalities definitely.

496
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 5: And you know, I'm kind of watching something on Love

497
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 5: Island right now and I could be totally wrong about it.

498
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 5: But there's this guy, and there's this new girl who

499
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,880
Speaker 5: just walked in and she's super beautiful, and then there's

500
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 5: this guy who's kind of like the hottest guy there,

501
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 5: and like, I really thought he was gonna go for

502
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,360
Speaker 5: this like new hot blonde, but he was like avoiding

503
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,400
Speaker 5: her and being so weird, and then when she tried

504
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 5: to talk to him, he was like kind of being rude,

505
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 5: and I'm like, he's literally so intimidated by her that

506
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,320
Speaker 5: he's like not even he's gonna not even fry because

507
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 5: he's a great but that I think he's afraid of

508
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 5: that chance of rejection.

509
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,719
Speaker 3: Because with us like used to it.

510
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 4: Yeah.

511
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so like if.

512
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:37,159
Speaker 5: You go for a girl who isn't like, I don't know,

513
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 5: because everyone these days is a ten, but maybe a

514
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 5: girl who hasn't been like a tend her whole life

515
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 5: and so maybe she hasn't learned about these guys yet.

516
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 5: Then they go in and swoop them in and then

517
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 5: play their games with them, screw them all up, screw

518
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 5: them over. It's toxic dating cycle, repeat, repeat, All these

519
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 5: people just screwing each other over, ghosting each other, having.

520
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 2: Sex, so I think I read somewhere that you've been

521
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,639
Speaker 2: celibate over two years? Is that correct?

522
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 3: That is correct?

523
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 2: Three years and a half two and a half. Okay,

524
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,360
Speaker 2: And are you obviously you still are then?

525
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:19,359
Speaker 3: Yes?

526
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, so you're celibate? You could do you want

527
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 2: to share? What do you mean? What made you? Yeah,

528
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 2: what made you choose that?

529
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,239
Speaker 3: I didn't even choose it.

530
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 5: It just happened, like I just well, I guess after

531
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 5: a year, I was like, all right, well now now

532
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:34,879
Speaker 5: it's going to really cost you to get in.

533
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, it's not let me just say, dummie,

534
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 2: it's not the same thing. It's not like saying, hey,

535
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 2: i've had ice cream in two and a half years.

536
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 2: I mean the first year was easy. I just like,

537
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 2: it's a conscious decision to be celibate.

538
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,600
Speaker 5: Now I'm a little scared. I'm scared of what I'm like.

539
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 3: Happening.

540
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, tummy, I'm sorry.

541
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

542
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 2: I'm not out of choice.

543
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:06,679
Speaker 3: I am actively choosing not to have sex with people.

544
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,560
Speaker 3: And it is because.

545
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 5: I whenever I was in high school, I was apprude. Okay,

546
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 5: once I got alcohol, I became a whore and it

547
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,639
Speaker 5: was great. And it was fun, but without alcohol. Again,

548
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 5: I'm apprude again. I just I think that I would

549
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 5: have a hard time getting to the point where I

550
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,640
Speaker 5: would be comfortable enough to really be enjoying it.

551
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,879
Speaker 3: Like there was one person. The reason it's two and

552
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,439
Speaker 3: a half years is because there was a person who

553
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 3: I was with once I got sober, but I had

554
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 3: been with him whenever I was drinking, so like I

555
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 3: was still comfortable with him in the bedroom and everything.

556
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 5: But with somebody brand new, I don't know. I feel

557
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 5: like I would, It would just take some time. And

558
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 5: also it's like, really, there's something sick about me that

559
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 5: just is like I don't want anybody to have dissatisfaction,

560
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 5: you know, Like I don't want them to be able.

561
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,160
Speaker 5: I don't want anyone else to be able to say

562
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 5: anyone else, because there's a lot of them that can

563
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 5: say it, to be able to say that they had

564
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 5: sex with me. I'm just like, no, I don't want

565
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,719
Speaker 5: to give you that. I don't want to give you

566
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 5: that flex because there are people who have, like girls

567
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 5: who have been like, hey, have you dated this guy?

568
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,880
Speaker 5: He told me I'll dated. I'm like, no, we didn't date.

569
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 5: We like hooked up one night in college like what

570
00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 5: so like, no, I mean I'm going to be able

571
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 5: to say absolutely not. Nobody is getting this cat.

572
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 1: So wait a minute, when will you be ready? Do

573
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: you have any idea because you said yeah.

574
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 5: It would just be when somebody like I trusted someone

575
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 5: enough with that and like you know, like really, uh.

576
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:40,159
Speaker 4: You dated that.

577
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 2: I just I just give it up. I'm sorry, Susan.

578
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 2: I have to point out something I've seen the flaw

579
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 2: in this whole conversation. DEMI is not dating, correct emmy, Yeah,

580
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: therefore she is celibate because she's only going to quote

581
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 2: give it up to a guy she feels safe with

582
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 2: write the fact that she's not dating. We have we have, Houston,

583
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:05,880
Speaker 2: we have a problem.

584
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 4: If you have to date.

585
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 5: I went out and there was a group of hot

586
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,959
Speaker 5: men and women that were interested in me. I'd probably

587
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 5: have sex with one of them that night, I got it.

588
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 5: I probably would. Or if somebody just slept over and

589
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 5: was in the first thing in the morning and they

590
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 5: started grinding on me, I'm in, we're doing it, you know,

591
00:28:25,359 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 5: like I I can't resist that.

592
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 4: But that's just like you don't let anybody sleep.

593
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:34,160
Speaker 5: Exactly exactly because my body wants it, but my brain

594
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 5: is like, no, this is toxic, messy.

595
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,000
Speaker 4: This time for you.

596
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 1: That's right, Yeah, you'll wake up one day and be ready.

597
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 5: I'm team slut though, Like I encourage everyone to be

598
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 5: a slut, go through a slut face.

599
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 3: It's amazing.

600
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,040
Speaker 2: Can I just say to you, wait a minute. There

601
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 2: are guys mentioning no names here that I've dated and

602
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 2: we've had this conversation. I'm like, yeah, you know I

603
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 2: love this line. Well, you having sex is just a

604
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 2: way to get to know you. I'm like, like, that

605
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 2: is not You got to earn this, Yeah, I don't yeah.

606
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 5: For anything, just to like make them earn something, make

607
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 5: them work for it, because you know how hard we're

608
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 5: working for them.

609
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 3: Look at how beautiful women are. You're all tense.

610
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 2: Oh wait a minute, Demie, No, no, no, no, no, Demi.

611
00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 2: I hope to god you're not saying you're beautiful for

612
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 2: men that you don't do your hair and makeup for men.

613
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 2: I don't do my hair and makeup for men. I

614
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 2: do it for me.

615
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 5: Can I do it for me? Obviously now? But like

616
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 5: I'm saying, in the general grand scheme of things.

617
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 2: All right, let's be true no, really, I do hair

618
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 2: and makeup for men that were not there.

619
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 3: It's for for me, it's really for everybody, anyone who's interested. Right,

620
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 3: I'll take you anyone. Let's see, let's anyone has a chance.

621
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 3: But they've got to do it. You have got to

622
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 3: do something with.

623
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 2: It, all right. So give me an idea of a

624
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 2: great date, of a sober date. Give me a great

625
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 2: idea of one like and you're gonna go out there.

626
00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 3: That involves like a little bit of adrenaline, like something stimulating.

627
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 2: Like uh, go carts, bungee jumping, bungee jumping.

628
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 4: I would I.

629
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 5: Would say something like a pup put in an arcade,

630
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:17,880
Speaker 5: something like that, laser text, a little scary, an amusement park,

631
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 5: maybe something that gives us.

632
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 4: Golf, golf. You played golf, and yeah, I.

633
00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 3: Was on the golf team in high school. I know

634
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 3: how to golf. I haven't golfed probably since then, but

635
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 3: maybe I'll have beginner's luck again.

636
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 4: But it's something you could do together.

637
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: You're both doing something you can have conversation, Like if

638
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 1: you go to a concert, it's so loud you can't talk.

639
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 3: That's miserable. And in a dinner date for me.

640
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 5: It is that sounds so scary too much, like, oh

641
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 5: my gosh, you might as well bring the ring with

642
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 5: you going.

643
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 3: On a dinner date. This is serious, like.

644
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 2: The food is it because of the eating thing?

645
00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that probably has something to do with it.

646
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 2: Subconscient I just want to say, you two must have

647
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 2: been hysterical on that show. Susan said, can't wait to

648
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 2: figure out what she's gonna cook next and who she's

649
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 2: gonna feed, and Demi's like that, it's some more food.

650
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 2: I can't I just food.

651
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 1: Yes, chicken pullets, all right, DEBI. We usually have this

652
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 1: little thing that we read from people that wrote in

653
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 1: and we give our advice.

654
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 4: Would you join us and give your advice? Yeah? Sure, Okay,

655
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 4: you're ready. Cap.

656
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,200
Speaker 1: This one is from Aubrey. She's thirty one and she's

657
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 1: from Chicago High Golden Ladies. I wanted to reach out

658
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,640
Speaker 1: for some advice. My girlfriend and I have been together

659
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 1: for four years and we've lived together for two. We

660
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 1: both want to get engaged and get married to each other,

661
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 1: but neither one of us is popping the question. I

662
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 1: think we also both want to have the experience of

663
00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: being proposed to and as a woman. We are a

664
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 1: little nervous about the whole proposing thing. I understand that.

665
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 4: I know it is.

666
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 1: Some social society societal bullshit that is making us both hesitate,

667
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: But I was curious if you had any words of

668
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,960
Speaker 1: encouragement or proposal ideas to help me get the ball rolling.

669
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,520
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm going to have to ask her first,

670
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 1: even if she proposes to me later. But I just

671
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,680
Speaker 1: feel so much pressure to make it perfect and I

672
00:32:33,720 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 1: have no idea where to start. Any ideas are welcome,

673
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 1: Thank you, love you guys.

674
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 3: This is amazing, This is perfect. I propose to a woman.

675
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 2: Okay, give us the sight of my own.

676
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 3: First of all.

677
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 5: This is incredible and I highly encourage the both to propose.

678
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,320
Speaker 5: I did that, and I would say that I was

679
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 5: a little sour puss about it, and like, looking back

680
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 5: on it, I hate myself for being such a little

681
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 5: hungry me Like I was like, h like I was

682
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 5: I proposed, Like why I don't understand why, Like I

683
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 5: was just being a brat, look like that was my thing?

684
00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 3: Why did you do it too? Like that? I didn't

685
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 3: know what was happening.

686
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 5: It caught me off guard and I just like had

687
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:20,000
Speaker 5: a little like brat moment with it, but like looking

688
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 5: back on it, of course, you can see it so

689
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 5: much differently, and I'm like, I'm such bitch, like I

690
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 5: should have been, like you wanted to do it too,

691
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 5: Like that was so sweet and special, Like, oh my.

692
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 4: God, if she proposes one does just so with.

693
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 5: This girl, like proposed first, you know, obviously you're gonna

694
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 5: have to go first to the other girls not And

695
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 5: the only thing that really matters about the proposal is

696
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:46,480
Speaker 5: really like the words that you say, like the way

697
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 5: that you make that person feel in that moment, and

698
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 5: like show how much you know them, you know, not

699
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 5: just the things that I love that you do for me,

700
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 5: like I love this person.

701
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 3: It just makes people feel really special.

702
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:02,760
Speaker 5: And then after the you have a little conversation about like, hey,

703
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 5: I know that you like we both kind of wanted

704
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 5: to propose, be like so I'm I'm still going to

705
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 5: be waiting for you to do it, like I can't

706
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 5: wait for yours, you know, like give her that encouragement

707
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:14,160
Speaker 5: of like I want you to propose to.

708
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:19,880
Speaker 2: And yet another difference in this Pride month, Yet another

709
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 2: difference in the hetero community. Susan, did you ever when

710
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,320
Speaker 2: Dicky proposed to you, did you ever say wait, stop,

711
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 2: stop Dicky, hold on, thanks, Yes, of course I'll Mary,

712
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 2: but I want to now propose to you at.

713
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 3: A different time. No, no, no, a different time, not as

714
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 3: the same.

715
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,919
Speaker 2: No, I'm saying there was no. Let me be clear.

716
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 2: Let me be clear, Demi. I could have been on

717
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 2: the moon in a spaceship. I was never proposing to

718
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 2: my husband. And when he proposed to me, it was like,

719
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,839
Speaker 2: get off your knees and put the ring on my hand.

720
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 2: We're done with this. Now, when are we getting married?

721
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,440
Speaker 2: Like there was? Did you ever think about proposing Susan

722
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 2: after Dickie?

723
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:59,760
Speaker 1: No, after Dickie proposed, Mine was totally different. We walked

724
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 1: down to be to Maui's. Isn't this beautiful? He said,

725
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,400
Speaker 1: you know this would be a great place to get married.

726
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, it's beautiful, just walk in. And then

727
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,320
Speaker 1: five minutes later he goes, well, I go, well, why.

728
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 2: Well that's a proposal. Exactly, that's a proposal.

729
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 4: Do you even have a ring?

730
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 2: But there you go, you just you just proved I need.

731
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 6: The serenade where you're just waiting for the guy to

732
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 6: get down on his knee anybody listening be prepared to

733
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 6: get on your knee.

734
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to have to tell you, Susan, you don't know this.

735
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 2: My proposal was very romantic. He took me to a

736
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:41,800
Speaker 2: lake on his knees. You'll make me the happiest man.

737
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 4: Susan, I only have time for one more. So, all right,

738
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 4: what do we tell her? What? We're all in agreement

739
00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:50,399
Speaker 4: that go ahead and do it.

740
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 5: Do it, and also make sure she feels safe to

741
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 5: do it too, like, you know, give her the encouragement

742
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:56,919
Speaker 5: to do it as well.

743
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 2: Because and proposal ideas do something fun and creative. You

744
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 2: don't do whatever.

745
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 1: I'm much bliss romantic, so I would think of the

746
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:08,280
Speaker 1: best things, you know, Yeah, yeah, justice.

747
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 2: Don't you know. Or to quote another famous quote, she says,

748
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:15,320
Speaker 2: you know, we hesitate. He who hesitates. In this case,

749
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 2: she who hesitates is lost. So stop hesitating. All right,

750
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:19,799
Speaker 2: let's move on.

751
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:20,560
Speaker 4: We have domas.

752
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:27,200
Speaker 2: All right. This is from Donna. She's fifty six from Fresno. Hi, gals,

753
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 2: I love you both so much and I'm so excited

754
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: every week when your podcast comes out. I wanted to

755
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 2: write in with a question about my son. He is

756
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 2: a very bright and sweet twenty nine year old who

757
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 2: has always struggled a bit socially. He has ADHD and

758
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 2: severe OCD, but has so much love to give despite

759
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 2: some struggles. He has a full time job working in

760
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 2: IT and recently moved out to live on his own.

761
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 2: He's never been on a date and he's such a

762
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 2: lovely boy who I a boy at twenty nine, sorry,

763
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 2: who I know will make someone so happy. He has

764
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 2: expressed wanting to meet someone, but won't go on any

765
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 2: dates with anyone I've tried to set him up with,

766
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 2: and he won't use dating apps to either of you

767
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 2: have any advice on how to encourage him to get

768
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 2: out there. I also worry as his mom that people

769
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,839
Speaker 2: won't be kind to him, and he is such a

770
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:22,879
Speaker 2: sensitive soul ug Any advice is welcome. Thank you both

771
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 2: so much. I got a zip it. What do you think, Tomi?

772
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 5: I would say that she needs to stop trying to

773
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 5: set up dates for him and stop trying to encouraging

774
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 5: him to date. She needs to The more she does that,

775
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,280
Speaker 5: the more he's not going to date. Like you really

776
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 5: have to just let him do this on his own.

777
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 5: Let he will meet people on his own. He lives

778
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 5: on his own. Now, he'll run into some girls at

779
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 5: his local coffee shop or something.

780
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:49,799
Speaker 3: You have got like, you cannot try to set him

781
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:50,279
Speaker 3: up with someone.

782
00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 5: I would never go on a date with someone my

783
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,360
Speaker 5: parents tried to set me up with, or would I

784
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 5: would probably hesitate to.

785
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 3: Go on a date anyone tried to set me up with.

786
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:02,240
Speaker 2: Yes, well, I'm going to say I love you. We're

787
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:05,399
Speaker 2: mama bears, you know. But your son is twenty nine.

788
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 2: He's not a little boy. He's a grown man. Give

789
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 2: him the respect and freedom to find his own partner.

790
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 5: Amen, and Donna, I know you're trying. You're trying so

791
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 5: hard to be a good mom. Like I know that

792
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 5: this is all good intentions from you. This is just

793
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 5: a different perspective that maybe you needed to hear it, Like, hey,

794
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 5: he'll figure it out on his own.

795
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 3: You don't have to worry about his.

796
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 1: Honna, Denmi, you're the best. Thank you so much for

797
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 1: giving out such great advice. And you know what that does.

798
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 1: It This went so fast for this episode of Bachelor

799
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 1: Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank you again, Demi. I can't

800
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 1: wait to be in your company again. Kathy and I

801
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:43,640
Speaker 1: are going to come out and see you.

802
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,440
Speaker 2: We loved. I loved getting to meet you, Demi and

803
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,839
Speaker 2: chat with you. I've heard so many great things about you,

804
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 2: and thank you all out there for joining us, and

805
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 2: be sure to follow Bachelor Happy Hour. Just if you

806
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 2: enjoyed the episode today with Demi, you'll enjoy all the

807
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:00,879
Speaker 2: other ones that we have coming out, So make sure

808
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:01,720
Speaker 2: to follow us.

809
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 4: And make sure to submit your questions to us.

810
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:07,919
Speaker 1: You can go to bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour,

811
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 1: or hit us up on social at Bachelor Happy Hour.

812
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:16,240
Speaker 2: Listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app,

813
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,919
Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time, See

814
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 2: you later, Choo