1 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girls Podcasts, a 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the 3 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible 4 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Hard and Bradford, 5 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information, 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. 7 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: And while I hope you love listening to and learning 8 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 1: from the podcast, it is not meant to be a 9 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:45,559 Speaker 1: substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, 10 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: thanks so much for joining me for session eighty seven 11 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:53,280 Speaker 1: of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Today's episode is 12 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: a gift especially for my entrepreneurs and those hoping to 13 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,160 Speaker 1: become one. Today we're digging into some of the how 14 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: many challenges that come up for entrepreneurs that can impact 15 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: our mental health. The sense of uncertainty and insecurity that 16 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 1: comes up once you start your entrepreneurial journey. It's something 17 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: that I think folks aren't absolutely prepared for. But before 18 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: we jump into the episode, I want to share that 19 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: I've just released my first book, Questions That Need Answers 20 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,199 Speaker 1: After the Breakup. It's a guided journal designed to help 21 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: anyone who's struggling to make sense of their life and 22 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: figure out what to do next after a big breakup. 23 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: It takes you through the process of managing your emotions 24 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:38,000 Speaker 1: in the immediate aftermath after the breakup, all the way 25 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 1: to getting back out there to date again. If this 26 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: is something you can use, or if you know someone 27 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: else who can, head on over to Therapy for Black 28 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 1: Girls dot com slash shop to download your copy. Now 29 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: let's get back to the episode. For this conversation, I 30 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: was joined by Samara Stone lcs WC. Since two thous 31 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: in five, Samara has been the founder of The Stone Foundation, 32 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: a behavioral health firm in Maryland. As an innovative leader 33 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: in the field of mental health, she leverages her twenty 34 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 1: years of experience to develop business coaching and branding solutions 35 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: specifically for her unique niche of mental health entrepreneurs. Through 36 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: her work with be Brand Confidence, Samara is the perfect 37 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:31,520 Speaker 1: balance of compassion and accountability, offering its sightful strategy while 38 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: nurturing the emotional resilience needed to approach entrepreneurship with the 39 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: confidence to take inspired action. Samara and I chatted about 40 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,960 Speaker 1: some of the mental health challenges that are common for entrepreneurs, 41 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 1: the importance of a healthy support system, and how to 42 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: get in touch with your real why for wanting to 43 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,640 Speaker 1: start a business. If you hear something while listening that 44 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: really resonates with you, be sure to share with us 45 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: on social media use in the hashtag tb G in session. 46 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:06,800 Speaker 1: Here's our conversation. Thank you so much for joining us 47 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: today tomorrow. I am so glad to be here. Dr Joy, 48 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 1: I am too. You know, we have been talking. We 49 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 1: are in a variety of Facebook groups and such together 50 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: and on this entrepreneurship journey together, and your conversation, I 51 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 1: think is always you always have such depth I think 52 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: in reflection to conversation. So I'm happy to have you 53 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,920 Speaker 1: here because I know that a lot of people in 54 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: the audience are entrepreneurs or they're thinking about starting a business. 55 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,240 Speaker 1: But like we've talked about, sometimes you don't always think 56 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 1: about all of the mental health stuff that can come 57 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: up when you're trying to start a business. Absolutely absolutely, 58 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: and I think you know, having been in business for 59 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 1: almost fourteen years, I have seen all sides of this thing. 60 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: I bet you have. So can you start by telling 61 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: us maybe some of the common mental health challenges that 62 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: often surprised entrepreneurs, like things that they just weren't even 63 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: expecting that kind of hit them. Yeah. Yeah, I think 64 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 1: really the sense of uncertainty and insecurity that comes up 65 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 1: once you start your entrepreneurial journey, it's something that I 66 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: think folks aren't absolutely prepared for. Right. Um, once you 67 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,600 Speaker 1: enter the world of entrepreneurship and you start to create 68 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: a business for yourself, there are so many decisions that 69 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 1: you're gonna need to make, not only about how you're 70 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: going to create your business and what you're gonna do, 71 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: but how to properly fund the business, or where to 72 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: go to market it, or how you want to show 73 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 1: up and so all of these things kind of cause 74 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: you to look at yourself from a real kind of 75 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: transparent and vulnerable space, and I think if we're not 76 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:40,360 Speaker 1: ready for that, that part can be very very surprising. 77 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: I think also the sense of anxiety that comes up 78 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 1: for folks around this perfectionism and expectation, you know, really 79 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: feeling like these ideas that you have for what you 80 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: want to do in your business, that these things should 81 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: be manifesting in ninety days. I should have the perfect 82 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: business that I want to create for myself, and I 83 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: think that starts to give people a lot of pressure. 84 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,159 Speaker 1: And I see people struggling through with feeling good enough 85 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: and wondering whether they have what it takes to be 86 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,600 Speaker 1: in business, when actually this is kind of a natural 87 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: process of developing and growing, and I think that piece 88 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,839 Speaker 1: is surprising to them. So where do you think some 89 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: of that comes from? Somewhere? Like how do you think 90 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: entrepreneurship itself unnerved some of that in us? You know, 91 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 1: it's a few things that I think about. This is 92 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: an interesting question for me because I think a part 93 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: of the problem when we see what it looks like 94 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 1: to be in business, it's through the filter of people 95 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: that are marketing their business, and so they're showing you 96 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 1: their absolute best self. They're giving you this view of 97 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,840 Speaker 1: the way that they roll, in the way that their 98 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: business is structured, in the way that they set things 99 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 1: up so that they can kind of attract people to 100 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,600 Speaker 1: their businesses. But it creates like this artificial perspective of 101 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 1: what it actually looks like to be in business for themselves. 102 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: It kind of glamorizes this entrepreneur lifestyle. And so when 103 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: folks are thinking about, well, I want financial freedom, and 104 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 1: I to be in command of my time, and I 105 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 1: want to be able to make my own choices and 106 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 1: not feel like I have to be beholden to someone else. 107 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:10,839 Speaker 1: The lure of that type of freedom it draws people in. 108 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 1: But there's this other side of it that I think 109 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,599 Speaker 1: that is not well discussed, and so I think the 110 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 1: comparison that people have of seeing what folks that are 111 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: in business for themselves put out there and then what 112 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 1: the real experience of it is different. I also think too, 113 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:28,240 Speaker 1: that when you're working for someone, you can show up 114 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: in your unique role, whatever that role is, and comfortably 115 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,599 Speaker 1: on that space. You've got the expertise, you've got the experience, 116 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: the credentials, whatever, the personality to be able to fill 117 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 1: the capacity that you have in the workplace. But suddenly, 118 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,280 Speaker 1: once you become an entrepreneur, you have to be adept 119 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: at wearing all those hats, and so you start to 120 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:50,719 Speaker 1: see maybe the places where you're not as strong. Maybe 121 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: there's a lot of accounting stuff that you don't understand, 122 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,320 Speaker 1: or maybe marketing things you don't understand. And so we 123 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 1: are not only being made present to these areas where 124 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 1: we might have some deficits, but we're also kind of 125 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 1: responsible for making those things happen, and it can put 126 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 1: a lot of pressure on folks, It really can. Yeah, 127 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 1: that's a key word. I think you touched on their 128 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: the idea of responsibility, right, Like, it's not just okay, 129 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: I need to be to work on time and feel 130 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 1: out my reports on time and all that stuff. Now 131 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: you're responsible for everything, every single thing, Even the things 132 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: that you don't think of as being a part of 133 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: business are now part of your responsibility, right right, So 134 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: we we come to entrepreneurship because we want to maybe 135 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: do the work. Like there's this book called e Meth 136 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 1: where the woman talks about how great she was at 137 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: making pies. She loved making pies. The pie making part 138 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 1: was great. Well, once she got into the fullness of 139 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 1: being in business as a pie maker, it was like, 140 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: oh wait, I gotta work about marketing demands and I 141 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 1: gotta figure out how many pies to create to keep 142 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 1: this audience satisfied and write all of the other moving 143 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: parts that are not the thing we signed up for. 144 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: But we don't get to do the thing we love 145 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 1: unless we manage the thing that we're responsible for. Right, piece, 146 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: I think creates it creates a real challenge for people 147 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 1: as they're moving in and I feel like for entrepreneurs too, 148 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 1: it takes a lot of discipline to do the things 149 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: that you don't want to do right. But because you've 150 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: got to be able to do them, there's no supervisor 151 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: standing over you requiring you to do them. But your 152 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 1: business will suffer, just like a baby would suffer if 153 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 1: you don't take care of it. Your business will suffer 154 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 1: if you're not taking care of these elements. And so 155 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: it can be a lot of pressure to do things 156 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: you don't like doing. And you're like, wait a minute, 157 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,199 Speaker 1: I signed up for freedom and flexibility, which you mean 158 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,640 Speaker 1: I got do some stuff I don't like doing. Right, 159 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, you do exactly exactly. So you touched 160 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,439 Speaker 1: on this a little bit, but I think that this 161 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: is not something that I often here discussed when we're 162 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 1: talking about entrepreneurship. This whole idea of decision fatigue because 163 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 1: of all the decisions we have to make. Can you 164 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: talk more about that and like some strategies for managing 165 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: some of it? Oh my god, Oh my god. Okay, 166 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 1: so dr Joy. The first thing to understand is that 167 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: some of the decisions you just have to make in 168 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 1: order to be in business for yourself. And because we're 169 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: ill equipped, we don't understand the lay of the land. 170 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: How do you decide from options When you don't understand 171 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 1: the implications of the stuff you're trying to consider, you 172 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 1: don't even know enough to make a wise choice. So 173 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,560 Speaker 1: then you're in this rabbit hole of trying to find 174 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 1: information to inform your decisions, and uh, that's a whole 175 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,040 Speaker 1: another kind of thing that starts to occur. I think 176 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: the other piece around decision fatigue is being able to 177 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,560 Speaker 1: commit to a consistent course of action. So you might 178 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 1: have an idea of something that you want to do, 179 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 1: and as you get started on trying to implement that idea, 180 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: you find yourself getting pieces of information from all of 181 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 1: these sources and it kind of spends your head, you know, 182 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 1: thinking of all these different ways to approach it. You 183 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: can google something like how to grow a Facebook community 184 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:55,320 Speaker 1: and get hundreds of different perspectives. Trying to sort through 185 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: all of that and figure out what what's the right 186 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: set for me? What actions do I need to take 187 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 1: to really get some results is difficult, and this is 188 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: one of the reasons I'm so passionate about branding and 189 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: doing the personal development side when it comes to being 190 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:13,079 Speaker 1: in business for yourself. Once you know what you're good at, 191 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,840 Speaker 1: what you want to offer, and who those ideal clients 192 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 1: are that you're trying to connect with and serve, it 193 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,079 Speaker 1: can kind of create a compass, if you will, as 194 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: you're navigating the choices that are before you as an entrepreneur, 195 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 1: you can make choices that are consistent with your brand, 196 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,840 Speaker 1: and knowing the brand then allows those choices to more 197 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:36,520 Speaker 1: naturally unfold. You can even make choices about the kinds 198 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 1: of opportunities to pursue. Instead of trying to do everything 199 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 1: all the time, You're gonna choose those things that help 200 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: you to move the needle in your business in a 201 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:49,000 Speaker 1: significant and meaningful way. And so it kind of having 202 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:53,199 Speaker 1: clarity around your brand and knowing exactly what your vision 203 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: is and what you're trying to do can help lessen 204 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: some of the decision fatigue. That's a good one somewhere, 205 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 1: because I was gonna ask you maybe you even have 206 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: more to add. I think when we talk about like 207 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: really getting in touch with your why and like what 208 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,760 Speaker 1: is my brand and what do I want to stand for. 209 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,120 Speaker 1: I think people sometimes have trouble actually doing that, which 210 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 1: means that they can't get to the piece where decisions 211 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:17,080 Speaker 1: are easier because they're still trying to figure out the why. 212 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 1: Do you have any ideas about or you know, activities 213 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: that you would suggest for how people can really get 214 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: in touch with the why, Yes, yes, thank you. I 215 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 1: mean the first thing that I'm thinking about when you're 216 00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 1: asking that question is how important it is that you 217 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: don't feel like this is something you need to do alone. Right. 218 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 1: I don't think that the choices that we make in business, 219 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: or the clarity we're looking for in business comes from 220 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: sitting alone in the corner thinking about thinking about your life. 221 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,559 Speaker 1: You have to be involved with some other folks who 222 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:51,839 Speaker 1: can help you to see yourself from a different perspective. Oftentimes, 223 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 1: the things that we think we're good at are invisible 224 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,080 Speaker 1: to us because there are natural talents, there are natural skills, 225 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 1: so we're not value in them as much as we should. 226 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 1: But others outside of ourselves can absolutely see it because 227 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: they are able to kind of see that this is 228 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,079 Speaker 1: something that we're uniquely gifted to be able to do. 229 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 1: So I think getting feedback from the world around you 230 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: is a great way for you to start thinking about 231 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 1: what you're great at and what you can offer. I 232 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: think being honest about why you're wanting to be in 233 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: business is something that people need space to kind of 234 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,680 Speaker 1: work through. Sometimes we want to be in business because 235 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 1: it just seemed like what everybody is doing, and so 236 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,319 Speaker 1: I need to have a business too, Or maybe you're 237 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,000 Speaker 1: in business because you just want to make some extra 238 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 1: money and you're looking for ways to do that. Having 239 00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:39,320 Speaker 1: clarity about why you're even wanting to open the doors 240 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 1: of a business can help you to kind of get 241 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 1: clear on what you're trying to accomplish too. And sometimes 242 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 1: I think we have a mistake of pursuing entrepreneurship without 243 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: really thinking about do I want to commit to this 244 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 1: as a lifestyle. Like you can be someone who maybe 245 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: has an entrepreneurial spirit, and maybe you are a micropreneur. 246 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 1: You've got a little side i'd hustle where you're selling 247 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 1: a product or you're making shirts, so you're doing something 248 00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,680 Speaker 1: in addition to your full time gig. Or maybe you're 249 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 1: like an entrepreneur where you're working with people that are 250 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: you know, you're like a consultant of sorts working in 251 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 1: a space where you're not a full time employee or anything, 252 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,640 Speaker 1: but you're able to kind of bring your unique talents 253 00:13:18,679 --> 00:13:22,239 Speaker 1: to the process. So I think sometimes we are confused 254 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: about why we want to be in business and feeling like, well, 255 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,680 Speaker 1: if I'm interested in business at all, that must mean 256 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,200 Speaker 1: I want to quit my full time job instantly become 257 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: an entrepreneur and be on my way to being a CEO. 258 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,320 Speaker 1: And that's not always the truth, you know, Like getting 259 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,079 Speaker 1: clear about what you're trying to accomplish, that's an important 260 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 1: piece to got you, got You? So I think it 261 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 1: may be important somewhere to kind of make the distinction 262 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 1: between what you just said in terms of like, oh, 263 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 1: do I really need to be like a full time 264 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:54,679 Speaker 1: entrepreneur and is that some imposter syndrome stuff coming up? 265 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: Because I think sometimes that may look similar, right Like 266 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: you can't quite tell am I talking myself out of 267 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 1: coming a full time entrepreneur because I don't really believe 268 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: I can do it? Or do I really not want that? Yeah? Yeah, 269 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 1: I mean some of it is getting clear about what 270 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:12,959 Speaker 1: being a full time entrepreneur entails, right Like, um, because 271 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,319 Speaker 1: I think when we're trying to build businesses for ourselves. 272 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 1: There are a lot of needs that you're gonna have, 273 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 1: both financially, in terms of time, skill sets, all of 274 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,800 Speaker 1: these things that you're gonna need in order to make 275 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,720 Speaker 1: this thing go. And it could very well be that 276 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 1: a part of your feels like I can't do it 277 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: and you've never tried, or maybe you have done it 278 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: and you're like, no, I actually don't like this, right. 279 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 1: I think having some clarity about that is super important. 280 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 1: I also think when it comes to the imposter syndrome piece, 281 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 1: it is hard for us to see ourselves as excellent sometimes. 282 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: You know, whenever I ask someone you know, what are 283 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 1: you're great at? They hesitate on that question, But if 284 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 1: I ask them what they're struggling with, they can give 285 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 1: me a ten minute tirade on right. And so I think, really, 286 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: you're right. Being able to identify what your strengths are 287 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 1: and make a decision from that place can help you 288 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: to see is this feeling like an imposter and shine 289 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,400 Speaker 1: away or is it really that this just isn't a 290 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: good fit for the way I want to work. So 291 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 1: you mentioned something elsewhere that I want to spend some 292 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: time on the whole idea of like not being in 293 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 1: a corner by yourself trying to figure all of this out. 294 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 1: And I know something that you preach a lot on 295 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 1: your platform is the whole idea of community and making 296 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,760 Speaker 1: sure that you're working with other people to really kind 297 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: of do this thing in a right and healthy way. 298 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 1: Can you talk more about, like what support should look 299 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,000 Speaker 1: like for an entrepreneur. I love this question because I 300 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 1: am convinced that a rising tide lifts all boats, right, 301 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: and I know for certain that the supports we need 302 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: are both in our home and personal life, especially as 303 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 1: black women, and also in business. So let's start with home, right. 304 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,960 Speaker 1: I think that if you have children, if you're married, 305 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,360 Speaker 1: if you just have a life that requires you to 306 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 1: be responsible for something, making sure that you have people 307 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 1: in your corner that believing what you're doing and can 308 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: help you as you're navigating some of these other responsibilities 309 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 1: that you have is gonna be key to your success 310 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 1: in the entrepreneurial journey. Like I always say that if 311 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: it weren't for my mama, who helps me with these 312 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 1: three babies I have, it would be absolutely impossible for 313 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 1: me to, you know, do what I'm doing in business. 314 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 1: And so getting clear about what those supports need to 315 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 1: look like for you in order for you to thrive 316 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 1: is very important. And I also think normalizing the challenges 317 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 1: that we see in business, because sometimes people feel like 318 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 1: needing support makes them weak. Oh, I should be able 319 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,960 Speaker 1: to do this on my own solo dolo. I should 320 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 1: just be able to thud life make this happen, And 321 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 1: that's just not even true at all. I mean, we 322 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:45,280 Speaker 1: absolutely need one another if we're going to be able 323 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 1: to move through some of the challenges that we face. 324 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 1: And so not only do you need help at home 325 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,280 Speaker 1: and strategies to allow you to work, you also need 326 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 1: supports in business because you kind of be around other 327 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 1: entrepreneurs who understand what this feels like. You want to 328 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 1: learn from people who have already done what you're trying 329 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 1: to do, so you're not over here reinventing the will. 330 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,160 Speaker 1: I really think that peace around support, both in your 331 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:14,240 Speaker 1: personal and your business life. It's what makes people seem 332 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:17,359 Speaker 1: like they are rocking it out faster and going further 333 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 1: quicker because they're leveraging supports to help them accomplish this, 334 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,480 Speaker 1: and it seems like it's just the one person that's 335 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,919 Speaker 1: out on the top of the platform. But just like 336 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: you know, Dr Joy, there are tons of people that 337 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 1: are helping with some of the moving parts for you 338 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,560 Speaker 1: to build what you're building. And so I think folks 339 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 1: need to kind of understand that these supports don't make 340 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,920 Speaker 1: you weak, they make you strong. Absolutely yeah, and definitely 341 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,640 Speaker 1: you know, none of us can be doing this by ourselves. 342 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,440 Speaker 1: I mean, you could be, but it would likely not 343 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,040 Speaker 1: be as successful as it could be, or you're going 344 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 1: to burn yourself out, I think, really quickly, trying to 345 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 1: do it all yourself. And sometimes it's hard to foster 346 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,399 Speaker 1: those relationships that are supportive because there is such a 347 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:01,360 Speaker 1: sense of comparison and competition that people are going through. 348 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:03,359 Speaker 1: And so one of the things I'm really big on 349 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: is kind of neutralizing some of that and focusing on 350 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 1: our shared experiences and how we can support each other 351 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,760 Speaker 1: because the truth is that competition it doesn't help us. 352 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,399 Speaker 1: If we don't have to compete with one another, what 353 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 1: we can do is kind of be clear about what 354 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 1: makes us unique and difference, so that there's some contrast, 355 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:25,399 Speaker 1: not competition, not comparison, just a little bit of contrast, 356 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: and then you can find your own space in the market. 357 00:18:28,359 --> 00:18:31,120 Speaker 1: And so I think that's a part of why sometimes 358 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,320 Speaker 1: I see entrepreneurs not supporting one another as much as 359 00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,159 Speaker 1: they could because they are kind of fearful this feeling 360 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,560 Speaker 1: like if I support this person's business, maybe I'm somehow 361 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,040 Speaker 1: taken away from attraction I'm trying to create in mind, 362 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,840 Speaker 1: and that stuff is just not true. That stuff is 363 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,719 Speaker 1: just not true. Because I think you're right, and I 364 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,239 Speaker 1: have seen lots of conversations around that. How do you 365 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 1: think people can kind of begin to break down some 366 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,480 Speaker 1: of that narrative that they've built around, you know, people 367 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,640 Speaker 1: being your competitors and stuff like that. Yeah, I really 368 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 1: believe and being beautiful in business, bringing your values, like 369 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,439 Speaker 1: who you are as a person to the table in 370 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,320 Speaker 1: the way you conduct yourself in building a business. That's 371 00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:12,480 Speaker 1: the whole point of building something for yourself that you 372 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,160 Speaker 1: get to do it in a way that's in alignment 373 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,439 Speaker 1: with who you are, right And so I mean for 374 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,919 Speaker 1: some people, if you actually are a super competitive person 375 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,399 Speaker 1: and that's just who you are, and you need to 376 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,479 Speaker 1: just go ahead and run that, right. But you know, 377 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 1: if you're someone who maybe is more focused on, you know, 378 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 1: doing something quality, I know, for me, I'm all about 379 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 1: creating meaningful brands and building businesses that are on purpose, 380 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 1: where people are doing something that they're really proud of 381 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 1: and they feel good about. And so if you're able 382 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 1: to really focus on that and then celebrate the accomplishments 383 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:46,119 Speaker 1: of a sister that you see doing something awesome, it 384 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 1: kind of creates that spirit of good will that we're 385 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: wanting to generate in a community. I mean, there are 386 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,280 Speaker 1: so many black women that are going into business for themselves. 387 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 1: I mean, we are rocking it out this space that 388 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,199 Speaker 1: we're in now where we're able to be we were 389 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,600 Speaker 1: able to see possibility, we are confident in the skills 390 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 1: that we're bringing into the marketplace, and we have so 391 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 1: many examples of women that are just boston it out 392 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,959 Speaker 1: in business. It's inspiring us to go for it. And 393 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 1: I think that that's a beautiful thing. And one of 394 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,200 Speaker 1: the ways that we support each other and being able 395 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: to make that happen is to celebrate and to collaborate 396 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 1: with people who are doing things that are similar like 397 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: I think for me, I call them niche mats, people 398 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:34,119 Speaker 1: that are my niche mates, where they're doing things that 399 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,120 Speaker 1: are similar to what I and at the same time 400 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 1: make enough contrast so they can see how they would 401 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: be able to support the work and I'm doing and 402 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 1: it works beautifully. Got you, got you something else? I 403 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:46,000 Speaker 1: want to kind of go back to a little bit, 404 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 1: because I do think it's often like you just talked 405 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: about how many black women are going into business for themselves, 406 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,639 Speaker 1: but we also know that black women wear many heads. 407 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,119 Speaker 1: We are often involved in lots of things, were in 408 00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 1: different roles. How can you begin in too, you know, 409 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:03,480 Speaker 1: do a better job probably for a lot of us 410 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 1: of managing all of those different roles. You've already talked 411 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 1: about support, But are there other things you think that 412 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 1: we should be taking into consideration to really help ourselves 413 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,359 Speaker 1: to manage. I'm gonna tell you my business really started 414 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,600 Speaker 1: to grow when I learned how to say no to 415 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 1: the things that weren't really important to me. So often 416 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 1: we allow others to set our priorities, to set the 417 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,360 Speaker 1: agenda for how we're gonna spend our time and use 418 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,919 Speaker 1: our energy and pour out our creativity. Learning how to 419 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,920 Speaker 1: say no opens the door for you to say yes 420 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 1: to the stuff you really want right now. Some of 421 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: those things we can't control. If you got babies, you 422 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 1: gotta take care of the babies, if you got a house, 423 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 1: you got cleaned up, you got just some things you 424 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 1: gotta do. Okay, some of these basics, you know, in 425 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 1: case they no to that. But these other commitments that 426 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:52,080 Speaker 1: we're making that are above and beyond and aren't even 427 00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: really what we're interested in doing. We just don't know 428 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 1: how to say no, to kill the frivolous. Get that 429 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 1: stuff out the way so that you can do the 430 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,720 Speaker 1: things that you really want to do. I also think 431 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,919 Speaker 1: setting realistic goals for yourself is important. You know, remember 432 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 1: earlier when we're like people feel like, oh, I'm gonna 433 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:09,879 Speaker 1: hang my shingo and in ninety days, I'm gonna be 434 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 1: making a million bucks, right like, dude, Let's set some 435 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,240 Speaker 1: realistic expectations about what this is gonna look like so 436 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,000 Speaker 1: that you can fit this into your life. You know. 437 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,960 Speaker 1: I think that it doesn't have to happen overnight, but 438 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: as you continue to make small steps towards what you're 439 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 1: trying to create, what you want to build for yourself, 440 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,800 Speaker 1: you can create some momentum. And so I think creating 441 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,560 Speaker 1: a business plan that fits your life plan and then 442 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,719 Speaker 1: being creative about how you're gonna solve those things that 443 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,159 Speaker 1: need to adjust so that you can make it happen. 444 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 1: That's a better approach, you know, realistic goals, being clear 445 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 1: about what you actually want to do, and saying no 446 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 1: to the stuff that you don't. So how do you 447 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 1: balance that because you've already said you know that sometimes 448 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,199 Speaker 1: other people can see like our gifts and us in 449 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,679 Speaker 1: ways that we can't. So how do you balance this 450 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 1: idea of people saying like, oh, you should do this, 451 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,720 Speaker 1: you're great at this with the idea of okay, but 452 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,240 Speaker 1: that's not the business that I want to build right. Um, Now, 453 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,399 Speaker 1: that's a good question, I mean, because I would be 454 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:11,080 Speaker 1: curious about what is the common thread between what people 455 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,919 Speaker 1: see me as excellent with and what I'm interested in, 456 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,440 Speaker 1: because there is usually some sort of a commonality that's 457 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,920 Speaker 1: found in the midst of that. Because you do want 458 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:23,040 Speaker 1: to create a business around things that are your natural 459 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,639 Speaker 1: strengths and talents. Like there's this thing called the Gallop 460 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 1: strength finder that I've used from time to time with 461 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:29,840 Speaker 1: some of my coaching clients to help them get clear 462 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,760 Speaker 1: on what their strengths are. Because you want to build 463 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 1: the business in a way that's going to resonate with 464 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:38,160 Speaker 1: Like how you best work. And so sometimes when people 465 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 1: are telling you what you're great at, listen for what 466 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: it is in there that feels resonant with what you're 467 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,960 Speaker 1: wanting to do. And that's kind of the sweet spot 468 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: where you're personal and your professional is gonna meet the 469 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:54,920 Speaker 1: place where your interest and then what folks want from you. 470 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,960 Speaker 1: That's kind of the best way to go forward. Also 471 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,919 Speaker 1: making sure that it's something that people are willing to 472 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 1: pay you for. Like you might like crocheting hats, let's say, right, 473 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: but crochet and hats, you know, the amount of money 474 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 1: that you would be able to make for the time 475 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 1: spent crocheting hats is not going to give you the 476 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,360 Speaker 1: profit margin you're gonna need to be in a sustainable business. 477 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,160 Speaker 1: It's a nice hobby, but it may not actually convert 478 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 1: into the type of dollars that you need to see. 479 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 1: And so I think, you know, making sure that what 480 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 1: you're interested in and then what's actually gonna be able 481 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,520 Speaker 1: to be a viable business option for you, there's something 482 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,399 Speaker 1: to be said for those two being imbalanced. Also, so 483 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,919 Speaker 1: some are something else that I have been thinking about, 484 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:37,159 Speaker 1: just kind of thinking about, like some of the mental 485 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 1: health issues that impact entrepreneurs, and I think I see 486 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 1: it a lot, you know, just again, like in observing 487 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,200 Speaker 1: Facebook groups or just paying attention online, you can really 488 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:51,000 Speaker 1: tell that some business owners are struggling with things that 489 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 1: are likely coming out in their businesses, maybe in the 490 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,160 Speaker 1: way of like customer service or you know, in other 491 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 1: ways that they may not recognize. Do you have any 492 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 1: suggestions for that or can you speak to you know, 493 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,720 Speaker 1: why it may be important for us as business owners 494 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,119 Speaker 1: to really be paying attention to like maybe we do 495 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,080 Speaker 1: need to talk with the therapist about some things. There 496 00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,879 Speaker 1: are so many highs and loads that come at you 497 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,520 Speaker 1: as you're moving through business. I mean the range of 498 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 1: emotions that you're gonna experience, from being excited to then 499 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 1: being disappointed, to then being anxious, to the financial inconsistencies, 500 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,280 Speaker 1: like all of this range of feelings that you're going 501 00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:32,960 Speaker 1: to move through. I have seen people really develop a 502 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,880 Speaker 1: sort of depression and anxiety as a result of their 503 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:40,280 Speaker 1: experience in the entrepreneurial life. And I feel like that 504 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 1: there's a need to create resilience for us so that 505 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:49,119 Speaker 1: we can manage this this emotional space of entrepreneurship with excellence. 506 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,600 Speaker 1: And some of it is just being aware that this 507 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,199 Speaker 1: is going to happen for everyone. I can't emphasize that 508 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 1: point enough. You know, like part of being in business 509 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,159 Speaker 1: is failing, messing up, making mistakes, getting it wrong. And 510 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 1: so if we have those experiences and we then become 511 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,760 Speaker 1: so anxious about not getting it wrong the next time 512 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,280 Speaker 1: that we're afraid to try. Can you see how that 513 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 1: just you know, sucks the life out of your business. 514 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,320 Speaker 1: And so you really want to know that this is 515 00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 1: a part of the journey, these emotional highs and lows, 516 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,640 Speaker 1: that is part and parcel of what this is going 517 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,159 Speaker 1: to look like. And then I think to address it 518 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 1: as being able to talk honestly with at least one person, 519 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,520 Speaker 1: at least one person that you can say, this is 520 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,119 Speaker 1: what I'm going through, this is what I'm experiencing. And 521 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,920 Speaker 1: I think that's where therapists can be very helpful, because 522 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 1: even if the therapist is not herself an entrepreneur, they 523 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 1: can recognize the emotional arc that you're going through with 524 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 1: this entrepreneurial trauma, right because every time something happens in 525 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 1: your business, it can be a sort of traumatization. If 526 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 1: you had a certain expectation of the way you wanted 527 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,119 Speaker 1: things to go and then it doesn't. Helping you to 528 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,159 Speaker 1: process that disappointment in a healthy way and then be 529 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,359 Speaker 1: resilient enough to try again. That's a role that both 530 00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:01,679 Speaker 1: good friends and therapists can I love that. I love that. 531 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 1: M m mmmmm. You know what else too? I think 532 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,800 Speaker 1: that I have always been someone that journals, like from 533 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:09,879 Speaker 1: the very beginning when I launched my business. And I 534 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,440 Speaker 1: was five months pregnant when I opened my business. It's 535 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,480 Speaker 1: kind of crazy how all that started happening, But I 536 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 1: remember feeling so out of sorts, like there was so 537 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,720 Speaker 1: much I didn't know, and there were so many things 538 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:23,840 Speaker 1: I was trying to figure out quickly to get this 539 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 1: thing going. And I started journaling, like I would write 540 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,119 Speaker 1: about my feelings. And then over the years, as I 541 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 1: would go back, I can recognize the patterns in the 542 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:38,480 Speaker 1: emotional experience. So although the situation might change, the emotional 543 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:42,200 Speaker 1: experience of growing a business remains the same. So making 544 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,720 Speaker 1: your first thousand dollars in business to get into making 545 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 1: a million in business, it's gonna take you on a 546 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 1: similar emotional arc. Although the game gets more complex, is 547 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,359 Speaker 1: still the same game. So you can learn how to 548 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:58,879 Speaker 1: be resilient by using some of the same strategies that worked, 549 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 1: you know, to help you man manage your emotions when 550 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,080 Speaker 1: it was small. Keep using those same strategies to manage 551 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 1: your emotions as it gets bigger. Got it? And something 552 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,040 Speaker 1: else you mentioned again kind of going back to Facebook, 553 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:11,920 Speaker 1: Like you've made a post a couple of weeks ago 554 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,400 Speaker 1: about the fact that a lot of us are experiencing 555 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,320 Speaker 1: stress related to starting our businesses because there's no real 556 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 1: blueprint for the kinds of businesses we're building, right, I mean, 557 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,240 Speaker 1: you know, I think there's a blueprint for like if 558 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 1: you want to have a fast food franchise, or if 559 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 1: you want to do certain things, you know, but even 560 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:33,040 Speaker 1: for myself, like building a business around like a podcast 561 00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,119 Speaker 1: and a directory and all of these things, Like it 562 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,600 Speaker 1: does feel very much like, Okay, who can help me 563 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 1: to figure out what I'm doing here? Right as trailblazers 564 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 1: don't have templates. Trailblazers do not have templates. When you're 565 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 1: doing something unique, you really do have to follow your 566 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,280 Speaker 1: intuition and trust your path because it may not look 567 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,720 Speaker 1: like the path that others have left. You know. One 568 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,360 Speaker 1: of the things I remember hearing from Oprah years ago 569 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,720 Speaker 1: she was talking about how initially she felt herself to 570 00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:03,960 Speaker 1: be in competition with the Donna Hue Show. Right now, 571 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,960 Speaker 1: this is I'm really dating myself back in the ad, 572 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 1: but you know, she really felt herself to be in competition, 573 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: and she said it wasn't until she stopped focusing on 574 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 1: him and just started paying attention to run in her 575 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,600 Speaker 1: own race that she started to find the kind of 576 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 1: success that she was hoping to accomplish. And so I 577 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,800 Speaker 1: really think that um, as a business owner, you have 578 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 1: the beautiful responsibility of creating something that is unique and 579 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: specific to who you are and what you want to do. 580 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: And it is disconcerting at times because you don't have 581 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: the certainty to know that every choice you're making is 582 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 1: the right one. But what you can trust is that 583 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 1: if you continue to move forward in a way that's 584 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,880 Speaker 1: an alignment with your values, in a way that's an 585 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 1: alignment with the vision that you have for what you're 586 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 1: wanting to do, that you're gonna keep getting closer and 587 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 1: closer and closer to this vision for the business that 588 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 1: you are building. And I think you know, treating your business, 589 00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:01,200 Speaker 1: you know, love her, love that business, because she's growing 590 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 1: right alongside you, she's maturing you as she's maturing, and 591 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 1: so I oftentimes have a relationship with my business where 592 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 1: I try to respect the things that she's capable of, 593 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 1: you know, like that as she got stronger and stronger. 594 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: You know. The first business I had was a private practice, 595 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,280 Speaker 1: and once that became a group practice and we started 596 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 1: getting contracts, like, I could see that the business itself 597 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: was getting stronger. And so every time I'm growing to 598 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 1: another level, I just really am clear about being grateful 599 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 1: for what's been created already and letting that serve as 600 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 1: the jump off spot for the next level that we're 601 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 1: trying to move towards. So wonderful somewhere. Thank you. And 602 00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,360 Speaker 1: I still love the way that you talk about business 603 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 1: because I think sometimes you know, when we're looking for 604 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 1: like business coaches to help us, and you know, it 605 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,400 Speaker 1: often feels very aggressive to me, you know, like they 606 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,880 Speaker 1: are these things that you gotta do and stop doing this, 607 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:58,000 Speaker 1: and yeah, it doesn't have to be that. Like I 608 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 1: feel like you have given us like a very different 609 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 1: framework for how you can actually grow for yourself and 610 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,840 Speaker 1: grow your business in a way that really fits for you. 611 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,600 Speaker 1: Be beautiful in business, Be beautiful in business, and I 612 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 1: believe that even when it comes to things like customer 613 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 1: service and support. You know, sometimes people have an antagonistic 614 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 1: relationship with their clients, like these clients always calling me 615 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:23,520 Speaker 1: your clients like, you know, I understand it's frustrating, but 616 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,160 Speaker 1: build some systems and your customer service so that you 617 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,000 Speaker 1: know you're not overwhelmed with the continual, you know, issues 618 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 1: that people are haven't. But I think that when we 619 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 1: don't approach business in a way that resonates with our values, 620 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,640 Speaker 1: then we're getting into problem spots. And you're right trying 621 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 1: to find a business coach or someone to help you 622 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,960 Speaker 1: grow your business when y'all are not a values match, 623 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,520 Speaker 1: that's just not a good idea because they're gonna help 624 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,880 Speaker 1: you build something that's not in alignment with who you are, 625 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:54,360 Speaker 1: right mm hmmm mmmmm. I love it. I love seeing 626 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:58,840 Speaker 1: black women in particular create businesses for themselves. Our daughters 627 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:02,600 Speaker 1: are watching us, They're watching us and thinking possibility. I know, 628 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,280 Speaker 1: my baby girl does. Our sons see us and respect 629 00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:09,200 Speaker 1: what it is that we're doing. I love seeing women 630 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:13,480 Speaker 1: occupied their unique space in the world and create businesses 631 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,080 Speaker 1: that are just as unique and creative and as beautiful 632 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,640 Speaker 1: as black women are, and and the things that we're 633 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 1: able to do when we trust ourselves enough to try. 634 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:26,320 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you'll amaze yourself. It's possible. Yeah someone, Yeah, 635 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:29,480 Speaker 1: I love it. So tell of us where we can 636 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:32,040 Speaker 1: find you online? What's your website as well as any 637 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 1: social media handles? Sure? Sure, I'm at the brand confidence 638 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 1: dot Com for the work that we do with granting 639 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,560 Speaker 1: folks and helping them kind of get their businesses off 640 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 1: the ground. I'm also I am some aarrow stone on 641 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:47,480 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook, and the thing that I'm most enjoying 642 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,520 Speaker 1: now is the Entrepreneurs Tribe. That's a Facebook group that 643 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,680 Speaker 1: I have where we're really helping people get the clarity 644 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,479 Speaker 1: and the confidence that they need to build businesses that 645 00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,040 Speaker 1: resonate with who they are and and really help them 646 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,760 Speaker 1: to be creative and creating the kind of connections they 647 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:06,600 Speaker 1: need to grow. So I am all about seeing businesses thrive. 648 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,600 Speaker 1: There's nothing that makes me more happy perfect, And of 649 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,760 Speaker 1: course we will include all of that in the show notes. 650 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for spending some time with us 651 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: today tomorrow. I appreciate it. Thank you, Dr Joey. I 652 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 1: have a good one, you too, I'm so thankful Tomorrow 653 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 1: was able to share her expertise with us today. To 654 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:26,200 Speaker 1: learn more about her and her practice, visit the show 655 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,440 Speaker 1: notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot Com slash Session 656 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:33,000 Speaker 1: eighty seven, and please make sure to share your takeaways 657 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,880 Speaker 1: from this episode with us in your i G stories 658 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:39,360 Speaker 1: are on Twitter, be sure to use the hashtag tb 659 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,400 Speaker 1: G in session so that we can find them and 660 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 1: share them. Just to heads up that next week's episode 661 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,080 Speaker 1: will be our last one for this year, but don't worry, 662 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 1: we'll be back with a brand new episode on January nine. 663 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 1: If you're looking for a therapist in your area, be 664 00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,440 Speaker 1: sure to visit the therapist directory at Therapy for Black 665 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:04,360 Speaker 1: Girls dot com slash directory, and don't forget that. If 666 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 1: you're interested in grabbing a copy of the Guided Journal 667 00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:10,880 Speaker 1: for Healing after a breakup, visit our store at Therapy 668 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,719 Speaker 1: for Black Girls dot com slash shop. If you want 669 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 1: to continue this conversation and chat with other sisters who 670 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,880 Speaker 1: listen to the podcast, join us over in the Thrive 671 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:24,680 Speaker 1: tribe at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash tribe. 672 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,520 Speaker 1: Make sure you answer the three questions that are asked 673 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:31,040 Speaker 1: to gain injury thank y'all so much for joining me 674 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,799 Speaker 1: again this week, and I look forward to continuing this 675 00:34:33,880 --> 00:35:05,560 Speaker 1: conversation with you all real soon. Take good care, actor 676 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:10,520 Speaker 1: ter