Speaker 1: Look out. It's only men used to be buried with
Speaker 1: Judgment Day. Hello, and welcome to men used to be
Speaker 1: buried with Judgment Day. The Red Nosed Day Podcast Matchup
Speaker 1: is back a caster bringing you exclusive bonus podcasts from
Speaker 1: your favorite podcasters to raise money and change lives. My
Speaker 1: name is Brett Goldstein. I'm a comedian and actor, a
Speaker 1: writer and director, and me grinder, and I love food. Apparently,
Speaker 1: as Sarah Desson once said, don't think or judge, just listen.
Speaker 1: Food is also good like films in a way. I
Speaker 1: am doing a special comic Relief podcast mash up with
Speaker 1: your favorite podcast off menu. We've done this twice before.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited to have the Genie and pred Brambles
Speaker 1: back on the show. This time it's Judgment Day. They've
Speaker 1: died once. I've resurrected him. Now I'm going to decide
Speaker 1: whether they go to heaven or hell. It all makes sense,
Speaker 1: and we're doing this for Comic Relief. Make sure if
Speaker 1: you listen, you donate to Comic Relief. Make sure if
Speaker 1: you don't listen, you also donate to Comic Relief. Comic
Speaker 1: Relief is doing wonderful things. You'll hear about it through
Speaker 1: the show and we very much hope you enjoy this episode.
Speaker 1: So that is it for now. I very much hope
Speaker 1: you enjoy episode three of podcast Mashups for Comic Relief.
Speaker 1: It's Menus to be Buried with Judgment Day. Hello, and
Speaker 1: welcome to Menus to be Buried with Judgment Day. It
Speaker 1: is I Brett Goldstein and I am rejoined for the
Speaker 1: third time by a couple of absolute geezers. One of
Speaker 1: them is has been touring the same show for seventy
Speaker 1: five years. The other one has been touring a show
Speaker 1: he didn't write any material for. Please welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 1: It's the brilliant Pet Brambles and the gen There's no
Speaker 1: point us clapping, we've realized over Zoom. We all clapped
Speaker 1: each other there, but Zoom's cutting out the clapping, isn't it, Brett?
Speaker 1: It is we have to say things like clap or
Speaker 1: why do you think that says? Why do you think
Speaker 1: it's a conspiracy? Zoom doesn't want people clap in each
Speaker 1: other and being nice. Zoom's trying to keep us all down,
Speaker 1: so we won't meet up in person because we'll all
Speaker 1: feel so low. We won't leave the house. So we'll
Speaker 1: keep using Zoom for meetings. That's why. Well, last time
Speaker 1: we did one of these, Brett, we did it on Zoom,
Speaker 1: but you were in England, so I think it might
Speaker 1: be you who doesn't up with us. Yeah, I forgot
Speaker 1: that happy comic relief you boys. It's lovely to see
Speaker 1: you again. Lovely to see you. Always frustrating to see
Speaker 1: a man whose name begins with a certain letter drinking
Speaker 1: from a mug which has a completely different letter on it. Yes,
Speaker 1: your mug, says a A Brett. Now tell me this.
Speaker 1: Let's have a quick let's have a quick catch up
Speaker 1: for the game. It's been a while since we did
Speaker 1: a perfectly makes sense format of menus to be buried
Speaker 1: with and wow, Ped Brambles, you've been touring like a madman. Yes,
Speaker 1: last year. How's it been? All fine? All done now?
Speaker 1: But then I've got to go to Australia and New
Speaker 1: Zealand to do it as well. The same show. Well
Speaker 1: it would be some different bits. I'll chop and change
Speaker 1: it because there's a lot of things that won't makes
Speaker 1: to Australians. Can you can you give me one example?
Speaker 1: You don't have to do the bit, but subject ways cbbies. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it doesn't translate. Understand that doesn't translate. I'd have to say,
Speaker 1: say babies, the understand it. Brilliant, brilliant. The gd have
Speaker 1: been fascinated by. As we know, you are very good
Speaker 1: with audiences. You tend to hate EI ten on them.
Speaker 1: You see them as the bit of your existence. So
Speaker 1: you've been doing a new shaw called Hecklers Welcome, Yes,
Speaker 1: where you've been trying to change your feelings on this.
Speaker 1: Has that been going good? Actually? I've changed my feelings.
Speaker 1: I think there's a stead of lead. Tell me change it.
Speaker 1: It's a process. This isn't the podcast for it, Brett,
Speaker 1: This isn't the po this is this are the three
Speaker 1: lads mucking about podcasts. I'm talking about my feelings and
Speaker 1: you know that this is just Brett setting up to
Speaker 1: make fun of you, James. Yes, and then we know
Speaker 1: what's going to happen. Yes, we do know what's going
Speaker 1: to happen, because last time it happened. What happens? We all? Oh,
Speaker 1: last time, Brett? What happen? How quickly we forget last time?
Speaker 1: All three of us we're making fun back and forth
Speaker 1: of each other. And then afterwards you got on the
Speaker 1: blower to Benito and said, all right, bet here, Oh,
Speaker 1: can you take out all the bits that I said?
Speaker 1: That what I'm making fun of those two because him
Speaker 1: sound really mean. I don't want people think I'm mean.
Speaker 1: I want people have think I'm kind to believe. And
Speaker 1: then they took all the stuff out that you said
Speaker 1: and then didn't tell us that. They didn't tell us
Speaker 1: that you've made that request. Yeah, so all of our
Speaker 1: distance to you were still in there, and we look
Speaker 1: like a couple of bullies. You call me listen, that's
Speaker 1: not bullying, that's the statements of facts. That's someone who
Speaker 1: understands you talking to you. Well, why did you why
Speaker 1: did you allue the facts taken out? Oh? Those things
Speaker 1: got taken out, did they? Yeah, because you asked your offer,
Speaker 1: and everybody take it out. Well, I'd say, reinstate them.
Speaker 1: Let the court see I was talking to a person
Speaker 1: with understanding and empathy kind of belief. Pet Brambles and
Speaker 1: the Genie you have died again because it is now
Speaker 1: judgment day. You stand on the edge, You stand on
Speaker 1: the edge of heaven and hell. You must tell me
Speaker 1: the best and worst thing that you did in this
Speaker 1: lifetime and answer some questions about food stuff. In the end,
Speaker 1: I will decide whether you get to go to heaven
Speaker 1: or hell? Makes sense, young men? Yes, thank you. Can
Speaker 1: I ask a quick question at this point, please? Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: We've both done this format separately and alone when it's
Speaker 1: about films and had to come up with our best
Speaker 1: and worst thing. I struggle to do that anyway. Should
Speaker 1: this be some best and worst thing we've done together?
Speaker 1: I love it that me and Ed have to agree
Speaker 1: on the best thing we've done together and the worst
Speaker 1: thing we've done together. That's great. Yeah, this will be
Speaker 1: a testing because let's see, let's see what happens. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to pass to edgiment yet. That's what we're
Speaker 1: here for, because I forgot when I did the podcast
Speaker 1: spot myself and forgot about this bit until you said it,
Speaker 1: and then I had to come up with something on
Speaker 1: the spot and it wasn't very good. You were the
Speaker 1: best answer that I've had on this. That's true. Actually,
Speaker 1: for those of you haven't heard the episode, Ed's best
Speaker 1: thing he ever did was Mary, his wife, and the
Speaker 1: worst thing was relentlessly teat on it. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: I can't let sentiment hang in the air for too long.
Speaker 1: So what's the best the worst thing you two have
Speaker 1: done together? Now it's becoming clear I'm using this to
Speaker 1: just shift all the all the stuff onto James. Oh well,
Speaker 1: I thought you had an answer. No way, man, I
Speaker 1: respect you along with this because I thought you already
Speaker 1: had one pretty many of the goal. I didn't have
Speaker 1: to think of it. No, I thought you could think
Speaker 1: of it for me. Well, so the best thing that
Speaker 1: Edie and I have done together, it may not have
Speaker 1: been a constantly fun experience, but the thing that I
Speaker 1: felt with the biggest achievement was when ed and I
Speaker 1: went on the run together. Yes, because we really bonded together,
Speaker 1: banded together and bonded banded and bonded together. Yes, because like, look,
Speaker 1: when we went on the run, Benito confided in in
Speaker 1: his employees and he said to them, well, that's the
Speaker 1: end of the podcast, because that these two were going
Speaker 1: to fall out and then that's it. Yeah. And then
Speaker 1: we came back off the run and he was like,
Speaker 1: how did it go? You falled out the podcast over
Speaker 1: We're like, no, actually no, we didn't fall out because
Speaker 1: we were we both went into it knowing what the
Speaker 1: other one needed. Support wise, we knew what the other
Speaker 1: one's limits would be, and like when their need to
Speaker 1: just be left alone for a bit, We did that
Speaker 1: with each other. It felt really good. By then I
Speaker 1: was like, Joe, what I mean? I already knew this
Speaker 1: guy's my friend. But by the end I was like, man,
Speaker 1: friendship test passed. We did it. That's an excellent story.
Speaker 1: When you say you know what each other needed. What's
Speaker 1: peed Brando's primary need? Do you think just give him?
Speaker 1: Give him some time, give some space. They're trying to
Speaker 1: make it stressful, deliberately, that's the that's what they're trying
Speaker 1: to get. He's reaching his limit. Don't stir the pot,
Speaker 1: don't keep it, don't go oh, Ed, are you okay
Speaker 1: all the time? In his factors? Just step back, baby,
Speaker 1: talk to the camera guy for a bit. Let Ed
Speaker 1: walking off, And that happened, and Ed was saying with
Speaker 1: me whenever I was like, clearly, oh man, he just
Speaker 1: go okay, just leave him alone for a bit. Similar
Speaker 1: needs actually, yeah, yeah, it's very similar. Yeah, just a
Speaker 1: bit of space. And then I had to James off
Speaker 1: in his sleeping bag. Yeah, well yeah he's got that's
Speaker 1: quite a specific need from Yeah, well you know, ask him,
Speaker 1: they'll show receive. What's the worst thing you ever did
Speaker 1: together other than the sleeping bag incident? Relentlessly cheating Head's wife.
Speaker 1: When I marry my wife, she marries my friends as well,
Speaker 1: so they're not allowed to have any other relationships. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's complicated, isn't it. Yes, you know you're in Hollywood.
Speaker 1: Your way. I made your way for the green card
Speaker 1: so I could work out here, and I know those
Speaker 1: She literally came to me. What I realized after I've married,
Speaker 1: She's done me right up. Green card. She just made
Speaker 1: a green airpoy didn't work. They said, no, just you're
Speaker 1: you're stillatorious? Was the fuck? There's nothing quite light red
Speaker 1: nose day that time when we come together, bring the
Speaker 1: laughs and raise life changing money. Whatever you can do
Speaker 1: this year, you'll be part of something amazing that's helping
Speaker 1: people through the toughest times of their lives in the
Speaker 1: UK and around the world, and helping them to break
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Speaker 1: You need us now more than ever. However much or
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Speaker 1: The money raised will help support people struggling with the
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Speaker 1: dot Com, Forward Slash Podcast mashup right, Well, your best
Speaker 1: and worst interest, but I can't decide. Perhaps we should
Speaker 1: talk about some food stuffs to help me with my decision.
Speaker 1: What is the meal that you had when you were
Speaker 1: too young to have it that affected you themized? Now,
Speaker 1: if for those of you might be listening to this
Speaker 1: crossover for the first time, it's the third time we've
Speaker 1: done it. And what we do is we take Brett's
Speaker 1: questions from his podcast Film to Be Buried With and
Speaker 1: just put food in where it should be films, so
Speaker 1: they don't always work, but I think this one works. Brett. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree. I agreed too. What's your answer? Well, I'd
Speaker 1: say every meal when I was young was a meal
Speaker 1: that I was too young to have it because I
Speaker 1: was a little posh Gormond child. Can you give me
Speaker 1: an example, yeah, man, because examples flying your way. I
Speaker 1: always refused to have the kid's menu, so I'd always
Speaker 1: have to have what the grown ups were having. And
Speaker 1: then once I went to a wedding when I was
Speaker 1: a little boy and they had all separate food for
Speaker 1: the children, the different table. But I didn't want that,
Speaker 1: and there was a big argument over whether I could
Speaker 1: have the adults food. I was probably about seven or eight,
Speaker 1: and it all kicked off, and in the end they agreed,
Speaker 1: and that was the first time I had poached salmon. Wow, delicious,
Speaker 1: I've never had posed seven. Absolutely delicius. You make it
Speaker 1: like an egg. Yeah, you crack the salmon in into
Speaker 1: the pan. Yeah, spin it around. You got to put
Speaker 1: the salmon in the whirlpool. It goes mad and then
Speaker 1: it's delicious. Yeah, you loved it as a kid or
Speaker 1: this stuff? Did you? I loved it? By that point
Speaker 1: there's been so many arguments. I was like, you better
Speaker 1: like this, you little little shit, otherwise it's going to
Speaker 1: be a disaster and you're gonna have to go and
Speaker 1: eat chicken goujons with the rest of the losers. Even
Speaker 1: that would have been possed for me. Yeah, I meant nuggets.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what about you, the genie? What's the food
Speaker 1: you ate when you were too young to have it
Speaker 1: that affected you the most? This story gets told every time.
Speaker 1: We will see a certain family friend who was there
Speaker 1: for it, and she always brings up when I was
Speaker 1: a little kid, my parents made a curry and they
Speaker 1: thought it wasn't very hot, but it was really hot.
Speaker 1: But the rule in our house was that you didn't
Speaker 1: get dessert unless you ate the main course. I knew
Speaker 1: that going in, so I was really powering through it.
Speaker 1: And apparently for the whole song, I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I was like seven or six or something. For the
Speaker 1: whole thing, I was going but that out my mouth
Speaker 1: and blowing kept on going. It's very nice, Mammy, thank you.
Speaker 1: I like eating this curry and just absolutely just dying. Also,
Speaker 1: we never knew what the dessert was going to be.
Speaker 1: We just knew it was dessert, so we never found
Speaker 1: out until the end. Sometimes it was me awful and
Speaker 1: natural yogurt, and then you'd be really gutted. I can't
Speaker 1: remember what the dessert was that day, but that's how
Speaker 1: much I loved dessert is. I was like, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: I want it, So I'm going to eat this curry
Speaker 1: that is actually the temperature of the sun is very
Speaker 1: very hot. Natural yogurt probably would have helped. That would
Speaker 1: most Oh, that would have been brilliant if it was
Speaker 1: natural yogurt. Sweet story. And I haven't heard you go
Speaker 1: since ed wan't too up in the sleeping bed. If
Speaker 1: you could eat one meal in a film, which one
Speaker 1: would it be? What? Yeah, that makes sense? Actually, yeah
Speaker 1: it does. It does make sense. We've discussed this now
Speaker 1: and again, I can't remember what whether we've discussed it
Speaker 1: on one of these Yeah, we talked about Studio Ghibli
Speaker 1: a lot. Yes, there's been a lot of a lot
Speaker 1: of meals in films that we've talked about quite frequently.
Speaker 1: I want to eat the taco from the menu that
Speaker 1: prints all your bank details on it, the bank tacho. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want the bank taco or like just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: stuff from my personal documents printed on a taco, because
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be creeped out by that. I'd be like,
Speaker 1: what a lot of attention the kitchen have gotten to
Speaker 1: to hack my account and there's all my bank details.
Speaker 1: I'd love that. Yeah, they've really done done their homework. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: going to eat it? What's the big deal? Yeah exactly,
Speaker 1: yum yum. You're leaving your bank details hanging around. You're
Speaker 1: going to eat it? No, exactly, what about you the genie.
Speaker 1: I think I've said in the past that the banquet
Speaker 1: the fast from hook the bank around isn't that imaginary? Though? Yes,
Speaker 1: but they make it look So those kids are so
Speaker 1: good at acting when they're eating it and it's invisible
Speaker 1: still and they're just imagining it, they're so good at
Speaker 1: doing it. It It looks delicious. I'm like, oh man, because
Speaker 1: probably one of them just looking at them, like look
Speaker 1: at his lips and being like, oh, what what do
Speaker 1: you read? At the chief or whatever he calls them
Speaker 1: chief in Google Hunting, but like he looks like really
Speaker 1: hungry because the kids are so good at miming. So
Speaker 1: I always think like that food. But also any food
Speaker 1: that Brad Pitt eats in a film, he really makes
Speaker 1: it look delicious. Every film he eats like an animal.
Speaker 1: Brad Pitt, he's really like disgusting the way because he's
Speaker 1: not eating, he's not eating off camera. Yeah exactly, that's
Speaker 1: so true. Heads he loves it when he reads a
Speaker 1: script and he goes, oh, I'm going to get have
Speaker 1: a dinner. Yeah, it fully goes eats a hot dog.
Speaker 1: But like Si metally, that's why whenever whenever they break
Speaker 1: for lunch, you hear him go a shit. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: maybe I would do that the banquet and cook, but
Speaker 1: I want Brad Pitt there, all the food. You have
Speaker 1: nothing nothing left for you now, but it's all mine
Speaker 1: says like loads of food. That you'd be like this
Speaker 1: with a with a hot dog, and he'd be like
Speaker 1: and he'd take you. You'd be like, Brad, Well, that'd
Speaker 1: be funny. That would be good fun if if every
Speaker 1: time I was mine in eating some food, Brad Pitts
Speaker 1: swooped it. The date it up my hands. What is
Speaker 1: the worst date you ever had at a meal? Genie?
Speaker 1: Let's start with you, because I know you'll love this question.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I love it. This is right up your street.
Speaker 1: It's a very easy answer, this one. I think I was.
Speaker 1: I still hadn't ever really been on a proper date,
Speaker 1: still lived back home. How old were you I would
Speaker 1: have been. I don't know, seventeen something like that. I'm
Speaker 1: pretty late to the date game. Bretta and I remember
Speaker 1: turning up this place that it's just like a It
Speaker 1: was a pub but it did food in. Katherin wasn't
Speaker 1: many options and agreed to meet someone there. Can you
Speaker 1: give me a bit of infer about the woman in
Speaker 1: without naming it a friend of a friend, you know,
Speaker 1: her and her mates was at the pub and we
Speaker 1: were at the pub. Anyway, I turned up at the
Speaker 1: pub for our food and she was hammered. She was
Speaker 1: she was there before me, and she was absolutely hammered.
Speaker 1: I remember we were walked around the block a couple
Speaker 1: of times. She was like, I go for a walk.
Speaker 1: I got sober up. Oh. She she was like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm oh. Yeah, she was like, she was like, OKAYU.
Speaker 1: She was like, I'm fucked because I was nervous about
Speaker 1: the date and I've just got here. I got here early,
Speaker 1: and I'm absolutely fucked. I was like, okay, let's let's
Speaker 1: go for a walk and walk around the block twice
Speaker 1: and by the edge where it's not going to happen.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, put her in a cab home
Speaker 1: that just walked walked back to my house on my own.
Speaker 1: That's that was going to be my first date. But
Speaker 1: it wasn't. Reader I married her. She sounds amazing. Are
Speaker 1: you still in friends of her? No? No, I hope
Speaker 1: you guys ever really saw her spoke to her again
Speaker 1: since was it? Which is quite quite impressive in cavin
Speaker 1: to avoid someone. Yeah, my worst date story is exactly
Speaker 1: the same, except she didn't acknowledge that she was absolutely
Speaker 1: off her fucking head and was also it turned out,
Speaker 1: an incredibly angry drunk, and I was just stuck with
Speaker 1: an angry drunk who within five minutes started to fight
Speaker 1: with the waiter and then said to the waiter, pointing
Speaker 1: at me, like he'll beat you up. And I said
Speaker 1: to the waiter, I absolutely will not. I barely know
Speaker 1: this has happened. Head Cramble's worst date you ever had
Speaker 1: a little from columb a little from column B devastatingly similar.
Speaker 1: At university, I agreed to meet a girl for drinks
Speaker 1: and a meal. I arrived and she clearly had maybe
Speaker 1: a bottle of wine plus before she'd got there. And
Speaker 1: then obviously we had a drink, and then she went
Speaker 1: to the toilet and she was in there for twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: so obviously I'm thinking she's left, but she hasn't. She
Speaker 1: came tottering out, carried on drinking, completely refused to believe
Speaker 1: that she was drunk, then insisted we go to a nightclub.
Speaker 1: She was basically just on a drunken tear and I
Speaker 1: was following her around holding her bag and stuff. And
Speaker 1: then we went to the nightclub. She went to the
Speaker 1: toilet again for I'd say half an hour to the
Speaker 1: point where I had to sort of ask girls coming
Speaker 1: out of the toilet have you seen this person in there?
Speaker 1: And they were like, no, there's the cubicles. Lot though.
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, I don't know what I'm going
Speaker 1: to do, so I'm like and then the bouncer came over.
Speaker 1: The female bouncer came over and was like, why are
Speaker 1: you standing by the girl's toilet talking to girls as
Speaker 1: they come out. I'm like, well, someone I know is
Speaker 1: in there. She's like, I'll go and check, and she said, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've just seen her legs come out from underneath the cubicle.
Speaker 1: So then yeah, obviously had to help her home, popped
Speaker 1: her in her room. Lovely date, so sounds great. What
Speaker 1: does it say about the three of her us that
Speaker 1: we are so intimidating slash ugly that all the women
Speaker 1: we've been a dated were like, I gotta get fucking
Speaker 1: hammer before I meet out with them. Yeah. Well even worse, Brett,
Speaker 1: you would not believe the amount of girls that I
Speaker 1: snogged when I was a teenager. Who turns out they
Speaker 1: were so drunk that they were literally immediately six straight
Speaker 1: after kissing me. One of them in a kitchen sink.
Speaker 1: What you kissed by the sink? She turned pinked in
Speaker 1: the sink, carried on kissing. We weren't right by the sink,
Speaker 1: although I should have done that because it had happened before. No,
Speaker 1: we were kissing and then she was like and then
Speaker 1: sort of stopped kissing and then just run run to
Speaker 1: the sink and was sick. And I won't pretend that
Speaker 1: we didn't kiss after us. Yeah, pretend Why would you?
Speaker 1: How do you? How do you? How do you have
Speaker 1: self esteem? If that was a relentless thing, it's very
Speaker 1: very impressive, mentally, very impressive. There's an obvious answer to
Speaker 1: that question, Brett, look at his profession. Do not have selfish? Team?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, ever heard the one about the comedian who
Speaker 1: had good self esteem? If you could live in the
Speaker 1: world of one meal, which would it be? Or if
Speaker 1: that doesn't make sense to you, which single meal would
Speaker 1: you have forever? If I put a gun to your
Speaker 1: head and said you have to have a single meal forever. Well,
Speaker 1: let's see if I could live in the world of
Speaker 1: one meal, Yeah, I guess the movie of my life
Speaker 1: Brett would be called Cloudy with a chance of treso broccoli. Pasta.
Speaker 1: I mean, this was always going to be an easy
Speaker 1: answer for James, to be honest, very easy. See, I
Speaker 1: would love it if I was in the cloud of
Speaker 1: the chance of meat balls world, but it was raining
Speaker 1: treetoprocly pasta all the time. That's a lovely answer, Jeanie,
Speaker 1: Thank thank you. You want to know mine? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think the meal that I could eat in any I've
Speaker 1: taken this question to mean in any conditions, like throughout
Speaker 1: the year, and I'll never get bored of it. And
Speaker 1: it's raman any weather, any time of year, any specific raman. Look,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of good ramen in London, but some
Speaker 1: of the best raman I ever had obviously Japan. I
Speaker 1: had raman at nine am in Tokyo Airport when I
Speaker 1: was flying home from Japan. Wow. And I didn't think
Speaker 1: it was going to be a breakfast food. But that
Speaker 1: proves the adaptability of raman. I had fantastic ramen in
Speaker 1: Tokyo airport just before we took off. Fantastic. And I
Speaker 1: love it in hot weather because it's like almost like
Speaker 1: you know, like a hot cup of tea is good
Speaker 1: in hot weather? Is it like flushes you out? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Calls you down. Yeah, so it's like that acts in
Speaker 1: the same way, and it's great in cold weather obviously
Speaker 1: as well. So yeah, it's got to be raman Brett
Speaker 1: in Tokyo airport, were you eating? Is raman on the
Speaker 1: move with bags or no? No? No, no no, we popped.
Speaker 1: I was on the back of one of those buggies.
Speaker 1: That's what they use them for in Japan. Everywhere in
Speaker 1: the western world they use those buggies for people who
Speaker 1: can't get around in Japan as if if you've got
Speaker 1: a big bowl of raman, it was fucking a splashing
Speaker 1: all over. It was awful, burning my legs. And then
Speaker 1: I kissed my wife and she was sick, and then
Speaker 1: you flew home to cheat on with other people that
Speaker 1: were also sick. Life. Yes, what is your favorite children's
Speaker 1: meal now? Ped you might find this difficult at having
Speaker 1: never had when is it? Yeah, I mean it may
Speaker 1: as well be for me, Like I hate all that
Speaker 1: stuff and that's really hung out, that's hung over, Like
Speaker 1: I probably prefer that sort of stuff now, but even
Speaker 1: like nuggets, chips and beans, all of that beige stuff
Speaker 1: absolutely horrible. I don't know why. I don't know why
Speaker 1: we decided that's what kids like because it's horrible stuff.
Speaker 1: It should be stuff to make them grow well, right,
Speaker 1: But for some reason, kids food is is all mashed
Speaker 1: up chicken in a breaded dinosaur shape and stuff. No,
Speaker 1: thank you, all right, Jamie Oliver, Yeah, with the propaganda.
Speaker 1: I completely agree with Jamie Oliver. So do I about
Speaker 1: that thing? So do I on all subjects. I do
Speaker 1: like onion rings though, Oh yeah, I like shit onion
Speaker 1: rings from Frozen, like the ones that don't really really
Speaker 1: taste like onion. What other ship food do you like them? Pets?
Speaker 1: I don't mind fish fingers now and again, I have
Speaker 1: a fish finger fish finger sandwich? Is that that's my answer?
Speaker 1: Is it? Fish fingers, chips and peas. That's a lovely meal.
Speaker 1: And that's someone who doesn't know anything about food. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's like a good meal to me. If you had
Speaker 1: a film Brett coming up or and you were like
Speaker 1: not eating all day and then you had a scene
Speaker 1: when you eat like Brad Pitt, would you be like
Speaker 1: carfish fingers, chips and pieces. Yeah, yeah, that does happen.
Speaker 1: When you it's always a nightmare when you haven't seen
Speaker 1: where it's like they're at dinner and then someone will
Speaker 1: call you and go, what would you like the dinner
Speaker 1: to be? And you're like, oh, god, protein shake? How
Speaker 1: many tags working? They have to eat it? You're playing Joel, dammit.
Speaker 1: I'd love it if if you're in a film in
Speaker 1: like a posh restaurant and suddenly there's a shot where
Speaker 1: it's clear that you're eating fish fingers, chips and peas.
Speaker 1: Oh this is absolutely delightful. But yeah, I know what
Speaker 1: what else is on a kid's menu? What do people
Speaker 1: love on a kid's menu? Little hamburger, little cheese, cheeseburger,
Speaker 1: turkey turkey, dinosaurs. Yeah, fish fingers. I'll tell you what
Speaker 1: we used to get it at school lunches, which, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what we used to get at school dinners,
Speaker 1: which I shouldn't have had because weren't. We're airring into
Speaker 1: just the side of Italian food here. Now I'm thinking
Speaker 1: of a bowl of Lucky Charms. O fuck off, America,
Speaker 1: Look at him. Lucky Charms didn't take you long, did it?
Speaker 1: Drop the cool aid? I'll come on you as well.
Speaker 1: It's lucas aid and rice crismas. Those ribs, those reformulated
Speaker 1: ribs that are just like a big strip of like
Speaker 1: just horrible me which but they put the little bits
Speaker 1: in it, the sort of little cut out bits to
Speaker 1: make it look like a rib, and they cover it
Speaker 1: in that sweet sauce. Love. I love that you're talking
Speaker 1: about it. Mcgrib the best food. Yeah, it's basically it
Speaker 1: tastes like a McRib. But they used to do those
Speaker 1: at our school, which I'll try to make this point
Speaker 1: and again I didn't pay for school dinners. I my
Speaker 1: pat lunch in morning break and then go and steal
Speaker 1: school dinner. Thank you, thank you. Every month, nearly two
Speaker 1: million people across the UK are skipping meals because they
Speaker 1: can't afford to buy enough food. With no way out,
Speaker 1: they're going without putting their kids first, making impossible decisions
Speaker 1: choosing a warm home over a warm meal. Just five
Speaker 1: pounds could provide a toiletry pack for someone sleeping rough
Speaker 1: in the UK. Your donation will help people who are
Speaker 1: facing the toughest times of their lives and help them
Speaker 1: to break free from poverty. Fifty pounds could help get blankets, food,
Speaker 1: water and medical supplies to survivors of the earthquake in
Speaker 1: Turkey and Syria. We know times are tough, but millions
Speaker 1: of people in the UK and across the world need
Speaker 1: you need us now more than ever. However, much or
Speaker 1: little you can give will make a massive difference and
Speaker 1: tackle issues such as homelessness, mental health problems and food poverty.
Speaker 1: So if you can, please head Comic Relief dot com,
Speaker 1: Forwards Left podcast mash Up and give. Now. What is
Speaker 1: the meal that you didn't think you would like but
Speaker 1: you ended up loving? Bread? These things are very rare
Speaker 1: for me. I like most things. You've got a positive
Speaker 1: attitude going into food, don't you. I do. I hated
Speaker 1: celery for a long time. So the first time I
Speaker 1: had celery again, I thought, I'm going to hate this.
Speaker 1: It's when I had some buffalo chicken wings with the
Speaker 1: celery and the blue cheese, which I don't know how.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the point is of that. I
Speaker 1: don't know how you're supposed to do that, whether you're
Speaker 1: supposed to balance something on the celery or dip it
Speaker 1: in the blue cheese. But then what you why are
Speaker 1: the chicken wings there? But I thought, I'm going to
Speaker 1: absolutely hate celery, And you know what, I loved it.
Speaker 1: So fresh, so crunchy, so delicious, and it helps that
Speaker 1: there was blue cheese and chicken wings next to it,
Speaker 1: but to disguise the taste of the celery. But now
Speaker 1: I don't mind the taste of celery. A lovely snack. Celery. Sure,
Speaker 1: peanut butter, but celery. Cey, tell celery, yes, exactly, celery.
Speaker 1: Put the celery in the bin and eat a block
Speaker 1: and cheese, the lovely celery. What about you, the genie.
Speaker 1: When I was a kid, my mum made a tie
Speaker 1: fish soup and at the time, as far as I
Speaker 1: was concerned, I didn't really like soup. Soup was boring
Speaker 1: and I definitely didn't want a fish soup. And I
Speaker 1: thought that sounds awful, and it was one of my
Speaker 1: favorite meals. Now when we go home, I'll request it
Speaker 1: because it's just delicious. It's got all the it's got
Speaker 1: the coconut milk in it. I hadn't had coconut milk
Speaker 1: in a soup before. Didn't know how good that could be.
Speaker 1: Big chunks of salmon in their prawns, loads of veg
Speaker 1: and vegetables. Thank you for explaining what that's what veges
Speaker 1: short for in England? Right, Okay, I know something? Where'd
Speaker 1: you get there? You go into you go into your
Speaker 1: writer's room this morning, you pitched edge. You pitch that
Speaker 1: as a word in a script. Over there and see
Speaker 1: what they say. I don't know. You're talking about lucky
Speaker 1: charms and stuff. Now, I don't know if you know what.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you'll know what vegges they've got
Speaker 1: card and vege? What I think Bret's talking about vaginas again? Bread?
Speaker 1: Come on, man, come on with this guy. Give it
Speaker 1: a rest for two seconds. And in front of him,
Speaker 1: he's louds of vegge. Do you mean actresses, Bret, you're
Speaker 1: on your last one in He's just chowing down under da.
Speaker 1: That's what? Yeah? That that tie fish soup. Man, the best,
Speaker 1: the best, lovely answers from both of you. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you very much. Now to the question I'm most
Speaker 1: interested in, and I believe your listeners are, what is
Speaker 1: the single most erotic meal you've ever had? Let's start
Speaker 1: with the genie. No, let's start with ped because I
Speaker 1: know the genie likes four player and want to do
Speaker 1: you mean the experience of the meal or the meal itself?
Speaker 1: You interpret how you want. But because I've had penis
Speaker 1: pasta before, but I wouldn't say that was necessarily erotic.
Speaker 1: Then that's not your answer. But thank you for letting us.
Speaker 1: When were you When were you having the l penis pasta?
Speaker 1: Was that Hannibal Lector's house? I bought it? No, it wasn't.
Speaker 1: There wasn't It wasn't like a penis sauce. It was
Speaker 1: the pastor itself was in the shape of little PENI.
Speaker 1: You can get loads of that sort of stuff once.
Speaker 1: There's a place in London. I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: open anymore, but well, it used to be somewhere else.
Speaker 1: I think it was like a place that did tea
Speaker 1: that Charlie really liked. My wife, Yeah, we know, we're
Speaker 1: all teateing in it. And we went we went to
Speaker 1: where the tea place was and it had been replaced
Speaker 1: by a shot that exclusively selled dick shaped ice creams. Wow,
Speaker 1: how do you do that? I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's still open, but it was a mate
Speaker 1: like all different flavors, different sizes. Yeah, wow, could have
Speaker 1: dipped in stuff. It was very funny that a place
Speaker 1: that meant quite a lot too, it was replaced by
Speaker 1: a dick check ice cream shop. That's a real slap
Speaker 1: in the face, dipped in bed. So what's your bast
Speaker 1: of rotting meal? Because that doesn't send that erotic. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'd say the more I get through
Speaker 1: a meal, because I tend to eat a lot, the
Speaker 1: less erotic everything becomes. Yes, I can't eat myself out
Speaker 1: of being horny quite easy. And I know, you know
Speaker 1: in films when people are eating a meal and they'll
Speaker 1: be like, oh, and it'll just the whole thing and
Speaker 1: I'll overcome them and they'll have to stop eating the
Speaker 1: meal to go and go and shack. That's never happened
Speaker 1: to me. The eleven food has never been outweighed by No.
Speaker 1: I'm never going to leave a restaurant halfway through a meal.
Speaker 1: If I've cooked something, I'm not going to let it
Speaker 1: go cold. Also if I if I've cooked, which I
Speaker 1: guess in the home is probably you know, you could
Speaker 1: probably make that quite erotic because you know you're near
Speaker 1: a place where you can do it right. But if
Speaker 1: I've cooked, I tend to kill the mood by just
Speaker 1: constantly asking questions about how much they're enjoying it interesting,
Speaker 1: very very interesting. I mean I guess for me as
Speaker 1: someone who you know doesn't understand basic sort of how
Speaker 1: to eat stuff, the idea of like eating a big
Speaker 1: meal and then going straight to sex. I'd just be
Speaker 1: worried about windy pops, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I'd just be like, Oh, hang on, what about the
Speaker 1: windy pops? What's about you? The genie? Does a packet
Speaker 1: of crisps count as a meal? I don't know. You
Speaker 1: need to tell what's the context of this crisps. When
Speaker 1: I was thirteen, here some friends watched I watched American
Speaker 1: Pie for the first time, and I was eating a
Speaker 1: packet of crisps while watching it. It's very sexy. Did
Speaker 1: you did you fuck the packet of crisps? I would
Speaker 1: have if the moon was empty, I would have fucked anything,
Speaker 1: because that film was so sexy. Man, I've never seen
Speaker 1: anything that sexy until that point in my life. I
Speaker 1: couldn't believe what I was seeing in that. Yeah, your
Speaker 1: remaker is called English crisps. That is this you bagging
Speaker 1: a load of walkers? Yeah? Still Eugen Leavy for some reason,
Speaker 1: he comes in and finds James explained, what's that noise?
Speaker 1: So much crunching upstairs? Oh Jesus, your your ice cream.
Speaker 1: Dick's cutain ribbons. Actually it should be Gary Lynicus, shouldn't
Speaker 1: it Plague? Yeah, shit, still try to steal the crisps
Speaker 1: off my dick. It's that because earlier in the film
Speaker 1: someone's told me, I've been like, what's it like. They've
Speaker 1: been like, it's like, it's like a drive back in
Speaker 1: a crisp. It's like fucking a bag of so you'll
Speaker 1: feel very sore afterwards. Which meal you don't care about
Speaker 1: as a whole meal has a single food within it
Speaker 1: that you love? Genie, It's a very difficult one. But
Speaker 1: I would say I'm not that bothered. Even I'm a
Speaker 1: dessert boy, not that bothered about chocolate fudge cake. Find
Speaker 1: it a bit boring? Wow, chocolate fudge cake? Yeah, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1: For when it has a scoop of ice cream. I
Speaker 1: love ice cream, So I would say, the scoop of
Speaker 1: ice cream and a chocolate fudge cake and ice cream,
Speaker 1: that's the most shogging thing you've ever said about. To
Speaker 1: find that, well, you gotta remember, like, I love dessert
Speaker 1: so much that when it is a dessert menu, I
Speaker 1: really want to find something special, something that I eat,
Speaker 1: love and chop the fudge cake. They're ten a penny.
Speaker 1: They're are most ones. When you have a really really
Speaker 1: good one, sure it's delicious, but it's very rare that
Speaker 1: you get one that's a showstopper. They're mainly done to
Speaker 1: like mid level quality, and they just they just sling
Speaker 1: them on the menu, and when you do have it,
Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, I'm getting the sugar in my body,
Speaker 1: but at what cost? Very interesting and surprising answer. Thank you, insightful.
Speaker 1: What about you ped brands? See, weirdly, I'm kind of
Speaker 1: similar but for a different thing. So I'm not really
Speaker 1: a fan of sweet baked goods the actual baked bit
Speaker 1: so like cake, plain cake that the actual sponge. I'm
Speaker 1: not that interested in chocolates a little bit more like
Speaker 1: cupcakes that the actual cake, but not that interested. It's
Speaker 1: all about the icing and the toppings, right, So I'll
Speaker 1: happily slice off the top of a cupcake and just
Speaker 1: eat the icing. I don't need the ballast of the sponge.
Speaker 1: But then also I'm kind of like that with if
Speaker 1: you want to take this is my answer bread, I
Speaker 1: mean like a fish pie or a shepherd's pie if
Speaker 1: it's got cheese on the top. Of it. All I
Speaker 1: really want to do is eat the cheese off the top,
Speaker 1: not bothered about anything else. Do you think quite a
Speaker 1: lot of your answers have involved getting rid of the
Speaker 1: food and having cheese. Do you think that actually you
Speaker 1: just like cheese. I know I like cheese, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and cheese can improve most things. But then then I
Speaker 1: just think, why not just go full Charlotte Church and
Speaker 1: have a plate of cheese. Yeah I didn't know this
Speaker 1: about her. Yeah, she when she was a kid. Her
Speaker 1: special family meal was putting grated cheese on a plate
Speaker 1: and putting it under the grill. That's great, chess on
Speaker 1: a plate. And then James ruined the interview. No, I
Speaker 1: don't tell breath this is the worst parson to tell.
Speaker 1: Tell me. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't ruin it. It
Speaker 1: It went well started. He's saying he was imagining Charlotte
Speaker 1: Church under a waterfall. No, listen, I didn't say to her,
Speaker 1: I'm imagining you under a waterfall. What did you say?
Speaker 1: The genie Charlotte Church said she wanted water from a waterfall.
Speaker 1: And she said, I want to go to a waterfall
Speaker 1: with a cup and get the water. And you said,
Speaker 1: I'd like to imagine you're under that. I said, are
Speaker 1: you going to stand next to the waterfall and put
Speaker 1: and put the cup under? Or do you stand under
Speaker 1: it and gather it in the cup? And I wasn't
Speaker 1: thinking as soon as I said that, both her own
Speaker 1: head were like, what a dirty grubby a little boy.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I was just thinking that I
Speaker 1: would like to stand under it and go and get
Speaker 1: catch it all in the cup. I wasn't thinking about
Speaker 1: and listeners won't be able to see this sea one?
Speaker 1: Or do you want to be under the waterfall? Like?
Speaker 1: I didn't do that? Better, I didn't do it, And
Speaker 1: then you you thought you'd make it less less perverted
Speaker 1: by gameing. No, no, no, I want to be under
Speaker 1: the waterfall as well. No no, I didn't say that
Speaker 1: to her. It wasn't maybe in under with her? Who
Speaker 1: was it the genie? The genie your character? Yeagain? No
Speaker 1: no no, I was sayings of bread, I'll touch you,
Speaker 1: not not s. I was saying that if I was
Speaker 1: getting water from a waterfall with my own on my own,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to stand under the waterfall. I'll do
Speaker 1: it Waiting for Charlotte Chess Turner in a tiny bikini.
Speaker 1: How easy life is if you can just write in
Speaker 1: your own little pervy bits at the end of make
Speaker 1: everyone like a grubster. I'm a good boy kind of believe.
Speaker 1: What is the meal that stayed with you the longest
Speaker 1: after eating it? Let me make up there what you will,
Speaker 1: I've got one. Yeah, Nashville, Tennessee. It was a big
Speaker 1: change in my diet. I was there for a week
Speaker 1: filming something and it stayed with me physically the longest.
Speaker 1: All of the Southern food blocked me up. Didn't go
Speaker 1: for a full toilet for the full week. I think
Speaker 1: it was nerves as well, because we were shooting a
Speaker 1: pilot for something and I was nervous, and all the
Speaker 1: food was quite heavy and stodgy. And then we finished
Speaker 1: shooting the pilot and we were all going to go
Speaker 1: out for a drink after us. I went back to
Speaker 1: the hotel and my whole body relaxed, and I went
Speaker 1: for my first poo in a week. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: thank God for that, and then I went back into
Speaker 1: my hotel room. About five minutes later, I went, I
Speaker 1: think I need to go to the toilet again. Went
Speaker 1: for another full, full poo went back into the hotel room.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, at least that's over. And then
Speaker 1: my body went, you need to go again. And that
Speaker 1: happened seven times in a row. Wow, the whole week's
Speaker 1: the whole week's worth, seven days worth and seven peas. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's a lovely story, but that's a long time for
Speaker 1: a meal to stay with you. And it happened to
Speaker 1: me in Japan as well. Know what happened in Japan, Well,
Speaker 1: not a lot happened in Japan when it came to
Speaker 1: toilet time. That annoyed me because the toilets are so good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but the ways when did it all come out? It
Speaker 1: was like seven or eight days, I think, and then
Speaker 1: there's not a jet of water wrong enough to clean that.
Speaker 1: Sorry about that, everyone, what's your answer to this more
Speaker 1: wholesome answer? But I was I think thirteen. I think
Speaker 1: I was thirteen. In another story I've told, we went
Speaker 1: to went abroad for the first time as a family,
Speaker 1: to France, and there was a posh man in the
Speaker 1: village where we lived anyway, and he was like, we
Speaker 1: got a chalet in the Alps, you can stay there.
Speaker 1: So that was a really big deal for us. Folksite
Speaker 1: about it. You were thirteen and a man said to
Speaker 1: come and stay in my chalet. No, No, I was thirteen,
Speaker 1: but I had a family and before we left for
Speaker 1: the holiday, a man in the village that we lived
Speaker 1: in just outside of Kettering, which we've moved to recently
Speaker 1: at this point in my life from where from Ketterin
Speaker 1: to Kettering a posh man. So if you go into
Speaker 1: France on holiday, stay at my chalet for a weekend
Speaker 1: beforehand a big deal for us. Went there and he said,
Speaker 1: go to this place for Dinner's phone nice. And we
Speaker 1: went there and it was a really tiny, tiny run
Speaker 1: by this couple who had a big dog called Snoopy
Speaker 1: who had massive dreadlocks. This dog was walk just walking around.
Speaker 1: These stories are very on brand for us. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there was us family, fine from England, an Italian family
Speaker 1: and a French couple in there and that was it.
Speaker 1: And it worked that they just kept on bringing out
Speaker 1: courses and they were very like basic rustic courses. But
Speaker 1: this couple who around the place is kept on bringing
Speaker 1: stuff out. One of the courses I remember was like
Speaker 1: just a hot plate and you cooked your own meat
Speaker 1: on it. Dessert was just like a whole tub of
Speaker 1: Neapolitan ice cream with a scoop and there you go,
Speaker 1: just fill your boots, which obviously, as a thirteen year old,
Speaker 1: I was like in absolute heath and couldn't believe that.
Speaker 1: It doesn't sound like they cooked any of this meal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think they really bothered with it. But it
Speaker 1: was so great. We loved how full we were afterwards.
Speaker 1: We've never like had so many courses before, and we
Speaker 1: talked we still talk about it now as a family
Speaker 1: and how great the meal was. I mean at one
Speaker 1: point they did ask each table to like sing a
Speaker 1: song from their country, and they asked us to sing
Speaker 1: Long Long Way to Tipperary. So we sang. We sang
Speaker 1: that as a family to everyone else. Particularly memorable when
Speaker 1: you came back from that meal and family, postman, how
Speaker 1: you go to do your bed? What's your problem? By
Speaker 1: I'll tell you a wholesome story about my childhood, and
Speaker 1: you put an old man under my bed at the end.
Speaker 1: How were your ships? How were your ships after the meal? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Good question, thank they were lovely. I think I think
Speaker 1: were they're making you sing a song from your I
Speaker 1: around Christmas was at a very nice place on holiday,
Speaker 1: and it was very nice and we were having breakfast
Speaker 1: and then there was this and I'd particularly gone to
Speaker 1: breakfast because there was going to be like a gospel
Speaker 1: quiet there and you know, I loved my gospel and
Speaker 1: they were singing and it was great. And then they
Speaker 1: suddenly stopped and said, one by one, we're going to
Speaker 1: go around the table and everyone's going to do a
Speaker 1: little bit. And it took ages for this time. I
Speaker 1: was so stressed that the meal was ruined. So it
Speaker 1: was like probably half an hour before it finally got
Speaker 1: to me, and all I had to say was like, rings,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It was like the Twelve
Speaker 1: Days of Chris or whatever. But I was just like, well,
Speaker 1: you've ruined this meal now because I've got a fucking
Speaker 1: do of turn. So was this recently, Brett? When was this?
Speaker 1: And a couple of years ago was has Ted Lasso?
Speaker 1: I started, Yeah, so it could, But wouldn't people have
Speaker 1: been more excited if you've just gone, oh, fuck off,
Speaker 1: yeah you can do that. Now. You can't do that
Speaker 1: to a gospel client, ok, can you? Yeah? It's also
Speaker 1: no Ted Lasso, So say, first boy, if they gets
Speaker 1: to you go, do you know ted Lasso, where they
Speaker 1: go yes, you go, well fuck off, and then they'll
Speaker 1: be like oh brilliant, Yeah, they go praise Jesus, yeah,
Speaker 1: joy Kent what But well, if I go do you
Speaker 1: know ted Lasso, they go no, and then they go oh, rings,
Speaker 1: exactly great. The earthquake in Turkey and Syria is devastating
Speaker 1: and the situation is changing rapidly. Comic Relief supports partner
Speaker 1: organizations working on the providing critical support that people need,
Speaker 1: including food, shelter, medical assistance, and ongoing trauma support. In
Speaker 1: these terrible circumstances. Comic Relief works with organizations already on
Speaker 1: the ground and responding and trusted by local communities. This
Speaker 1: will reach people who need immediate relief, people who've lost
Speaker 1: their homes and their families. Many are refugees in the
Speaker 1: region who have already been displaced from over a decade
Speaker 1: of conflict. The money raise will help people struggling with
Speaker 1: the cost of living crisis and tackle issues such as homelessness,
Speaker 1: mental health problems, and food poverty here in the UK
Speaker 1: and around the world. A portion of money raised throughout
Speaker 1: our Red Nosday campaign will also go towards the emergency
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Speaker 1: podcast match up. What is the meal that made you
Speaker 1: feel better about the world? Are you? This is a
Speaker 1: tricky one, isn't it, Because although I'd say most meals
Speaker 1: make me feel pretty good about the world, if it's
Speaker 1: really nice, if you have a really good meal, you think,
Speaker 1: oh boy, everything's all right, really, isn't it. Yeah, So,
Speaker 1: in the way you're just asked me, what was the
Speaker 1: best meal I've had? Okay, it's the best mealie mead.
Speaker 1: I don't know, because it's a very difficult question because obviously,
Speaker 1: when you think about feeling better about the world, it's
Speaker 1: like they just remind you of the stuff that's wrong
Speaker 1: with the world. And a lot of what's wrong with
Speaker 1: the world is just like an even distribution of wealth
Speaker 1: and poverty. So then you think feeling better about the
Speaker 1: world because I ate a meal. It's pretty awful. So actually,
Speaker 1: I think this is impossible. Oh zanga, yeah, lasagna. I
Speaker 1: mean what I lovely posit to take on that question
Speaker 1: the genie thank you, Which is your favorite ingredient in
Speaker 1: a meal? Salt? Lovely answer, very good answer. It's got
Speaker 1: to be salt. Well, imagine a meal without salt. I
Speaker 1: can't lucky times with about salt. It's not they do
Speaker 1: have salt in No, I'm sure the most important thing
Speaker 1: in my kitchen, most important ingredient. If we are calling
Speaker 1: it an ingredient, I think we should. I've got a
Speaker 1: big pot of salt, a big pot of flaky salt,
Speaker 1: and anything I'm cooking. It has its place on the
Speaker 1: shelves with all the other condiments and seasonings, but it's
Speaker 1: barely on there because it just sits on the work
Speaker 1: surface because I'm just pinching salt into stuff all the time.
Speaker 1: It's so important. So salt, salt and fat are two
Speaker 1: of the most important things in cooking. And hate and well,
Speaker 1: I could have salt and fat. I'm not bothered about
Speaker 1: acid and heat necessarily. I don't really understand what's yours.
Speaker 1: I'd probably say at the minute, probably ginger. At the minute.
Speaker 1: I absolutely love what I could really really taste the
Speaker 1: ginger in the meal. Yeah. Had a really adorable moment
Speaker 1: recently where my parents visited and we went to a
Speaker 1: cafe near me and they never had ginger shots before.
Speaker 1: My parents. They saw them on the menu and they said,
Speaker 1: what did that? I was like, you'll love them, ordered
Speaker 1: us some. They did love them. At the end, my
Speaker 1: dad said to another grown man who ran the cafe
Speaker 1: as he was paying, my dad went, those ginger shots
Speaker 1: were nice and those guy. The guy was like, oh good,
Speaker 1: and my dad went, I love ginger to him, and
Speaker 1: the other guy went, I love it too. Three things
Speaker 1: that you can't cook about ginger, chilly, garlic. And the
Speaker 1: guy went hard agree, I absolutely agree with all that
Speaker 1: I love. I love all three of those. And then
Speaker 1: they talked back and forth about how much they loved ginger, chili,
Speaker 1: and garlic, and it was so cute and adorable and
Speaker 1: they really bonded. They agreed on all three of them.
Speaker 1: Should they start a podcasts of Menu plus thirty or
Speaker 1: something they could be in. They had a podcast called
Speaker 1: Ginger Chili Garlic. Yeah. I think they could talk. They
Speaker 1: wouldn't eat guests. I think every week the two of
Speaker 1: them going back and forth and going, I love Ginger,
Speaker 1: I love ginger too, Ginger Chili and garlic, Oh yes please.
Speaker 1: At one point I think they got onto Harissa, I think,
Speaker 1: and my dad said, pressa's great, put it in your dinner.
Speaker 1: Sort it. And the guy was like, yes, I love it.
Speaker 1: And they did the little mime as well to put
Speaker 1: it in his dinner. Does your dad cook? Not really
Speaker 1: the whole conversation, yeah, yeah, it was absolute bullshit. But yeah,
Speaker 1: he'll add Harrissa to a meal that my mom's already cooked, right,
Speaker 1: I see, I see, yeah, yeah, dog's just coming in.
Speaker 1: They taste, there's a dog come in this dog loves
Speaker 1: comic relief. Don't you toast loves comic relief. Don't your
Speaker 1: toast any any words for the listeners? Taste no silent
Speaker 1: as ever, no words? Well, fuck it over. It's half
Speaker 1: on me, half on banito. What meal inspired you to
Speaker 1: do something? I ped? No, the format's fallen apart, is
Speaker 1: all I was going to say, yes, I think it's
Speaker 1: got it's held pretty strong. Yeah, it's done all right.
Speaker 1: We've managed to wrestle quite a few things out of
Speaker 1: seemingly nothing. But I'd say this one, this one slightly
Speaker 1: worked better than The Resurrection, if I may. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is for me. This is this is the one that's
Speaker 1: worked the best format wise until we get to what
Speaker 1: meal inspired you to do something? But then again, I
Speaker 1: felt the same with the question what film inspired you
Speaker 1: to do something? Yeah? So maybe I'm just not a
Speaker 1: very I've never been inspired to do anything. No, No,
Speaker 1: I didn't understand that question when I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: always the first person to get asked the questions as well,
Speaker 1: so you've not even rotested them with people. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I get asked, what film inspired you to do something?
Speaker 1: I'm like, Brett, help me out. What do people normally say?
Speaker 1: I don't know, you're the first one. Have you seen
Speaker 1: Ted Last eight? We'll fuck off? Yeah, rings, Okay, your
Speaker 1: answer is nothing ever inspired either of you do anything.
Speaker 1: The most inspiring thing this is my whole family found
Speaker 1: it inspirational at a meal was when my parents went
Speaker 1: out for a meal and they came home and they
Speaker 1: couldn't believe. On one of their plates one of the courses,
Speaker 1: there was a big lump of carrot that had been
Speaker 1: sculptured into the shape of a swan. So they bought
Speaker 1: that home with them to show us, show us it,
Speaker 1: and we all thought it was it. We all thought
Speaker 1: it was incredible that someone had been able to do that.
Speaker 1: So we didn't then go on and do it ourselves,
Speaker 1: but we found it inspiring. Did just to know that
Speaker 1: that kind of thing existed in the world and people
Speaker 1: were sculpting carrots into swans. I've been inspired to try
Speaker 1: and cook the thing at home that'll do. I'll take it.
Speaker 1: Cheese on a plate, Cheese on a plate. I'm inspired
Speaker 1: to do that. Regularly our podcast inspires James to go
Speaker 1: and cook things. Sure, Quite often he'll listen to someone
Speaker 1: saying describing a recipe or something that they've cooked in
Speaker 1: or go, I'm going to do that tonight. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: I don't know of it, And sometimes it goes well
Speaker 1: as some as it doesn't, but I'm always glad I
Speaker 1: gave it a go. So you know, Simon Amstill's auber
Speaker 1: Jean dish, whatever it pasta tried that comes to mind,
Speaker 1: You hated that. Yeah, it was horrible. It's pretty bad.
Speaker 1: There's anything on his making that sounded nice as well.
Speaker 1: We have reached the end and now I can't decide
Speaker 1: whether to send you to heaven or hell. One last thing.
Speaker 1: You couldn't give me one food that is meaningful in
Speaker 1: the hope I will spare you from the pits of
Speaker 1: old hell. You bastards. Which food? Can it be a drink?
Speaker 1: Bret Okay. I know you're an emotional guy. You love sentiment.
Speaker 1: You're going to love this proposed to my wife in Japan.
Speaker 1: That night we went to a robot show. I think
Speaker 1: with Brett, you have to clarify that's not a sex thing.
Speaker 1: It's not a sex thing. Robot robots going just loads
Speaker 1: of robots and it's like a big dance thing. It's
Speaker 1: very tacky. It's a lot of fun, and they're not
Speaker 1: they're not fucking No one's fucking anyone. They brought a
Speaker 1: little bottle of champagne to celebrate us getting engaged, and
Speaker 1: I kept I kept the bottle, So that's that's what
Speaker 1: I'd say. You're gonna give it to me, Yes, you
Speaker 1: can have the bottle as a memory of my love.
Speaker 1: Seems like someone wants to go to heaven? What about you,
Speaker 1: Genie Jesus. Watching Brett listen to that story, I felt
Speaker 1: like I was watching a robot show trying to bust
Speaker 1: up some sort of emotion and feeling. Normally, Brett is
Speaker 1: quite emotional, but it's because I prefaced it. You know why.
Speaker 1: You know why? It's because my alarm's going off in
Speaker 1: the background. What the fuck is that? So I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: he's telling a beautiful story here, and I've got to
Speaker 1: turn it off. And Brett has an alarm for when
Speaker 1: he's supposed to be emotional. Yeah, emotion, Now what's your
Speaker 1: what's your answer? I think if it's heaven and Hell,
Speaker 1: I've got a really draw on my cushion upbringing here
Speaker 1: to know what the right answer will be for something
Speaker 1: meaningful food wise, So I would go full kind of
Speaker 1: like what would Jesus say? And he would say, like
Speaker 1: a single mustard seed, That's what he would say, single
Speaker 1: mustard seed for a farm that you can grow bountiful.
Speaker 1: I don't really like mustard seed. A seed then a
Speaker 1: single seed? Yeah, but you picked mustard and I don't
Speaker 1: like mustard. Well, sadly, I'm going to have to separate you.
Speaker 1: I've weighed up the evidence and based on bloody Mustard
Speaker 1: and your perverted ways, Genie, you aren't going to hell,
Speaker 1: head Brambles. Your kindness and complicated marriage has made me
Speaker 1: sympathetic to your unique place, and you shall also be
Speaker 1: going to hell because I think the DD won't cope
Speaker 1: without you. I'm don't king you're going to heaven. Yes,
Speaker 1: come on, I don't know. We'll think about it. Perhaps
Speaker 1: I don't kill you both again, and we'll see what
Speaker 1: happens in the future. Good day, Thanks Bratt, Thank you
Speaker 1: for coming. So that was men used to be buried
Speaker 1: with judgment day. Oh didn't we have a laugh? Didn't we?
Speaker 1: Did we? I hope? So give all your money to
Speaker 1: Comic Relief, all of it. Don't spare a penny. Thank
Speaker 1: you very much for listening. I hope you enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: It's a lovely thing that we get to do this stuff,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you kind and believe loads of love.
Speaker 1: Donate lots love you, Thank you, see you soon, and
Speaker 1: remember in the meantime, please, now more than ever, be
Speaker 1: excellent to each other. The st