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Speaker 1: Two hopeless daters one dating app that dares you.

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Speaker 2: To swipe right.

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Speaker 3: The question is whose love.

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Speaker 4: Life is more tragic.

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Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tender Dates.

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Speaker 4: It is the dating game show that got banned from

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Speaker 4: Macy's after getting the second base with both of their

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Speaker 4: Lingerie Mannikins.

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Speaker 5: They started it.

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Speaker 4: It's Battle of the Tender Dates, where two of our

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Speaker 4: listeners go head to head to figure out whose.

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Speaker 5: Love life is the most tragic.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll go over the rules in just a second,

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Speaker 4: but first let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, on

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Speaker 4: all his dates, the lady say he looks at them

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Speaker 4: like Jack Nicholson in The Shining or Joker from the

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Speaker 4: Batman movies. Yi, that's why they call him creepy smiles mile.

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Speaker 3: Hey guys, Oh my god, you're smiling right now.

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Speaker 1: I can tell you.

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Speaker 2: I can hear it.

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Speaker 3: I'm into it.

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Speaker 4: And in the other corner, he loves handwriting romantic poems

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Speaker 4: for his dates.

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Speaker 5: But he's a foot guy, so it's.

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Speaker 4: Always about toes and he's named every one of before

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Speaker 4: he's even met you.

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Speaker 5: Please welcome italics, Ali.

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Speaker 1: Kale.

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Speaker 3: It's easy to rhyme with toes and flip though their

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Speaker 3: good words to go with oh yeah, very romantic.

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Speaker 5: Here's how the game works.

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Speaker 4: One contestant will start by telling one of their worst

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Speaker 4: date stories. Then they able to trying to counter with

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Speaker 4: the nightmare story of their own. We're gonna go back

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Speaker 4: and forth for three rounds until we a Clara winner.

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Speaker 5: Let's start it off with creepy smiles, Miles, let's go Okay.

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Speaker 3: So this lady and I were out on her first

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Speaker 3: date and walking between bars for happy hour, and we

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Speaker 3: walked by a place that the Girl Scouts had a

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Speaker 3: little stand and I'm like, oh my god, I'm all

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Speaker 3: about some samoas, right, So yeah, I go over, I

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Speaker 3: buy some. The girl that I'm with she just gets

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Speaker 3: completely upset. She's giving me the cold shoulder, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: what's wrong? Were you mad? You not like girl Scout cookies?

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Speaker 3: Like what's going on? And she admits that She's like, well,

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Speaker 3: I didn't like the way that you flirted with the

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Speaker 3: mom that was helping out at the stand. Oh, she said,

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Speaker 3: this is the first date, mind you, And she's like,

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Speaker 3: I should be the only woman that you smile at.

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Speaker 5: Everybody else, Yes, go to Wendy's.

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Speaker 2: I don't like the way you're looking at the logo.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, that's a rough one, Alex. Can you counter?

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Speaker 2: So I met up with a girl from Tinder, and

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Speaker 2: I immediately knew something was off. Really, she was so sick.

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Speaker 2: She was she was coughing, her nose was stuff, and

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Speaker 2: she got a raspy voice.

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Speaker 5: Free schedule yeah, uh huh?

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Speaker 2: So I asked her. I asked her if she wanted

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Speaker 2: to cancel the date. She says no, and that she

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Speaker 2: actually prefers to be sick. Huh Why I was so confused?

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Speaker 2: She went on to say her voice sounds sexier that way. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: she's doing this on purpose. She hasn't taken any medicine.

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Speaker 2: She refuses to wear a coat outside.

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Speaker 5: I'd be to you, how do you take care of

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Speaker 5: a sick Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And you don't want to make out with somebody who

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Speaker 3: can't breathe through their.

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Speaker 5: That'd be a super moist kiss.

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Speaker 1: Count me in.

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Speaker 5: All right, We're on to round two miles tossing it

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Speaker 5: back to you.

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Speaker 3: Okay. So I was at this dinner with the girl

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Speaker 3: and the waiter comes up the assley where we celebrate anything,

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Speaker 3: and so she just jumps in and she's like, oh, actually, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I just got out of a super toxic relationship this

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Speaker 3: morning with my stepbrother. WHOA I think we just did

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Speaker 3: a second date with her.

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Speaker 5: The girl, Oh my god, she was dating her stepbrother.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what she said.

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Speaker 3: And then she's like, she's like, hey, let's toast the

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Speaker 3: new beginning, no family relations Yeah did they bring out

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Speaker 3: a cake for that?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: All right, as Alex, time to step it.

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Speaker 2: Up, Miles, that's a bad but I was on date.

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Speaker 2: It was her. I had to go to an a quick

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Speaker 2: and in front of one of the tanks, she started

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Speaker 2: making out with me, which was kind of hot, but

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Speaker 2: also there were a lot of kids around.

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Speaker 5: They need to learn how to do it eventually, so

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Speaker 5: it's not.

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Speaker 1: But guys, it gets worse because one of the divers

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Speaker 1: in the tanks starts hitting the glass and she says,

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Speaker 1: don't worry.

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Speaker 2: That's just my ex I hate so when I do.

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Speaker 5: This, he's just done it multiple times.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, alright.

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Speaker 4: We're on to the third and final rounds, so we

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Speaker 4: need your best stories here, gentlemen, Miles, what have you got?

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Speaker 3: Okay? On one of the dinner dates with this girl

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Speaker 3: when it ended, she's going to get an uber ride,

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Speaker 3: So you know, I'm like, hey, I'll just give you

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Speaker 3: a ride. Give me your address, And when we kind

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Speaker 3: of pulled in, it's like al gated community. It is

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Speaker 3: super nice house, really awesome neighborhood. Kind of commented on it,

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Speaker 3: right and and she, I swear, she looks at me

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Speaker 3: and she's like, oh, no, this is just a guy.

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Speaker 3: I'm talking to you.

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Speaker 5: Oh your date had you uber her to her next date?

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Speaker 3: Well that's a lesson that I should probably ask where

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Speaker 3: you're actually going?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, but did she tip you?

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Speaker 3: She should have.

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Speaker 5: Still five star service in our mind. But italics, Alex,

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Speaker 5: this is your last chance.

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Speaker 2: We were out and got into talking about past relationships.

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Speaker 5: Oh, always a good start.

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Speaker 3: Yeah's great.

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Speaker 2: She asked if I ever cheated on anyone, and I

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Speaker 2: said no, and her personality changed. What she seemed actually disappointed.

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Speaker 3: Oh really, so she's looking for something toxic.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's like, yeah, yeah, she said that. She tells

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Speaker 2: me that she's only looking for a man who has.

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Speaker 1: Been unfaithful because that's what makes quote relationship and ship's exciting.

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Speaker 5: Oh right now, she must have learned that from a therapist. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: If she puts it that way, it makes so much sense.

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Speaker 4: All right, that was the final bell. That means the

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Speaker 4: match is over and we need to score it. Let's

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Speaker 4: go to the judges. Alexis, who are you giving it to?

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Speaker 4: I got to go Miles for a cheers in to

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Speaker 4: the step brother relationship.

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Speaker 5: Then we got one for Miles Brooke. Dude, it's hard

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Speaker 5: to beat the step brother relationship.

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Speaker 4: I'm going Miles as you. I mean, congratulations, creepy Smiles.

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Speaker 5: Miles, you are our sad suitor of the week. How

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Speaker 5: does it feel.

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Speaker 3: I don't think it's ever been so happy to be sad.

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Speaker 5: What you mean is it's never been worse. We're happy

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Speaker 5: to have you here, man.

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Speaker 4: Text in to seven eighty five, nine to two if

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Speaker 4: you want up here on the next edition of Battle

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Speaker 4: of the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 5: We got your phone tab coming up right after this