Speaker 1: I was just texting my best friends also called Mini,
Speaker 1: and it's really weird. We got into a mistaken identity.
Speaker 1: We're both pretty hardcore surfers and this kind of walk
Speaker 1: in Yahoo gotten the way of her kid and was
Speaker 1: yelling at her kid, and she got into this massive
Speaker 1: fight with him. Anyway, it got back to everybody that
Speaker 1: it was Mini and I took the heat. I was
Speaker 1: getting the text messages late in the night, like you've
Speaker 1: got to dial back the ag row like it's not
Speaker 1: cool in the water with the kids, And I was like,
Speaker 1: excuse me, you're a good friend, Mini driver. That's a
Speaker 1: good friend thing to do. Are you the famous Mini too?
Speaker 1: Like I mean that sounds like a ghost question, but like,
Speaker 1: if you're the famous Mini of the two Minis, you're
Speaker 1: always going to take the heat. That can't be good,
Speaker 1: by the way it is. It's true. It's like my
Speaker 1: dad said he'd never get on a plane with a
Speaker 1: celebrity because if the plane went down, he refused to
Speaker 1: be and others. Yep, I always think that when I
Speaker 1: see somebody more famous than me on a plane, I'm like, damn,
Speaker 1: if we go down, no one's going to remember me. Hello,
Speaker 1: I'm Mini Driver Welcome to Many Questions Season too. I've
Speaker 1: always loved Cruce's questionnaire. It was originally a nineteenth century
Speaker 1: parlor game where players would ask each other thirty five
Speaker 1: questions aimed at revealing the other player's true nature. It's
Speaker 1: just the scientific method, really. In asking different people the
Speaker 1: same set of questions, you can make observations about which
Speaker 1: truths appeared to be universal. I love this discipline, and
Speaker 1: it made me wonder, what if these questions were just
Speaker 1: the jumping off point, what greater depths would be revealed
Speaker 1: if I ask these questions as conversation starters with thought
Speaker 1: leaders and trailblazers across all these different disciplines. So I
Speaker 1: adapted prus questionnaire and I wrote my own seven questions
Speaker 1: that I personally think a pertinent to a person's story.
Speaker 1: They are when and where were you happiest? What is
Speaker 1: the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real
Speaker 1: or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you
Speaker 1: most like answered, What person, place, or experience has shaped
Speaker 1: you the most? What would be your last meal? And
Speaker 1: can you tell me something in your life that's grown
Speaker 1: out of a personal disaster? And I've gathered a group
Speaker 1: of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and
Speaker 1: humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You
Speaker 1: may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions.
Speaker 1: We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to
Speaker 1: their experience, or the most surprising, or created the most
Speaker 1: fertile ground to connect. My guest today on many questions
Speaker 1: is sports analyst and television host Katie Nolan. What's interesting
Speaker 1: about Katie is that in the male dominated world of
Speaker 1: sports presenting, she is utterly self made. She wrote a blog,
Speaker 1: started making videos by herself, and drew attention and then
Speaker 1: jobs by carving a space for herself out of sheer will,
Speaker 1: knowledge and humor. She's gone on to win a Sports
Speaker 1: Emmy and has also been nominated multiple times. Mostly she
Speaker 1: hosted NBC's coverage of the two Olympics. In my opinion,
Speaker 1: we need more Katie Nolan's in the world of sport.
Speaker 1: In your life, can you tell me something that has
Speaker 1: grown out of a personal disaster? This question is hard
Speaker 1: because I mean, I haven't had a big personal disaster.
Speaker 1: I've been very fortunate and very lucky, and I remind
Speaker 1: myself of that all the time. But I think the
Speaker 1: time in my life where I was going in a
Speaker 1: direction and then it stopped was after I graduated college.
Speaker 1: Graduated in two thousand nine from Hofstra University. Go Pride
Speaker 1: used to be the Flying Dutchman, but they changed it
Speaker 1: to Pride as like a group of lions. It was
Speaker 1: a mess. Flying Dutchman was a ship. I don't understand
Speaker 1: who was offensive to point is. Graduating two thousand nine,
Speaker 1: the economy was in a place so everybody was looking
Speaker 1: for a job. My cousin from California was moving to
Speaker 1: New York City to do teach for America, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, perfect, she's moving here. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to not move into the city with her. So we
Speaker 1: were roommates. But I didn't have a job, but I
Speaker 1: was always making it work, so I'd make it work,
Speaker 1: like I waited tables through college. I had money saved up.
Speaker 1: I moved to the city with her. Was out of
Speaker 1: my money by the like third month. We were living
Speaker 1: in a six floor walk up on the Upper East Side.
Speaker 1: I was eating cereal out of bags. I had no
Speaker 1: idea how expensive groceries were in the city. Didn't even
Speaker 1: cross my mind, walked into a gristitis and was like,
Speaker 1: this is how much a yogurt costs. It was insane.
Speaker 1: I also bought groceries like I lived in a suburb,
Speaker 1: and then when I got to the checkout, they were like,
Speaker 1: how are you going to get this home? And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I didn't think through any of this.
Speaker 1: It was a mess. Couldn't get a job. Worked in
Speaker 1: Equinox selling gym memberships for six months, and then it
Speaker 1: felt like an awful person locking people into a year
Speaker 1: contract that was way too expensive that I knew they
Speaker 1: were never going to use the gym. Couldn't do sales.
Speaker 1: I quit. I moved back home, so I felt like, damn,
Speaker 1: there goes my big New York City dream. I'm never
Speaker 1: gonna make it in the world. I don't even know
Speaker 1: what I want to do. And then I started bar
Speaker 1: attending because I was like, I know how to make
Speaker 1: money that way. But my mom had always told me.
Speaker 1: She was like, you can bartend. You will not bartend forever.
Speaker 1: You're going to go to college, you're gonna graduate, you're
Speaker 1: gonna get a job. You're not going to fall into
Speaker 1: this because it's easy to kind of get comfortable with.
Speaker 1: You're getting cash at night, you are social, you're talking
Speaker 1: to people, you kind of feel like you're part of it,
Speaker 1: but you're not. You're working. It can be very um enticing,
Speaker 1: and you can kind of lose years of your life
Speaker 1: doing it. I've seen it happen to people, but my
Speaker 1: mom always planted in my head, like, don't do that.
Speaker 1: So I started a blog. I don't know why. It's
Speaker 1: the only thing in my life I've ever like started
Speaker 1: on my own and really stuck with because I knew
Speaker 1: at that time, if you tweeted your blog at somebody
Speaker 1: and they clicked on it and they saw that you
Speaker 1: had written like a post, they were going to know
Speaker 1: you're not really a blogger. But if they click on
Speaker 1: it and they see that you posted four times a day, oh,
Speaker 1: this is a legitimate website. In my head, that made sense.
Speaker 1: So I was like, let me just make sure I
Speaker 1: write four things a day, and then when I want
Speaker 1: to send it to somebody is like, check us out.
Speaker 1: If they click on it, maybe they'll like the blog.
Speaker 1: Nobody was reading it, and then um people started reading it,
Speaker 1: and then a come and he asked me to do
Speaker 1: videos for them, and I was like I don't do
Speaker 1: on camera stuff. I'm very uncomfortable on camera. Which I
Speaker 1: was very uncomfortable on camera, but I learned and I
Speaker 1: learned to get better at it. And I did that
Speaker 1: out of my house for two years. And then somebody
Speaker 1: was like, we're launching a sports network. Do you want
Speaker 1: to be on it? And even my mom was like,
Speaker 1: you don't know enough. You can't do that. And I
Speaker 1: was like, well, let them tell me that. Because they
Speaker 1: said that, it's fine. So if they think I know enough,
Speaker 1: then I think I know enough and I won't ever
Speaker 1: go on TV and say something without looking it up
Speaker 1: first and familiarizing myself with it. She was like, deal.
Speaker 1: So I took it, and my career kind of grew
Speaker 1: from there. So I thought my life was done when
Speaker 1: I graduated, and it hadn't even started yet. You created
Speaker 1: the whole thing. I had a lot of help. I
Speaker 1: had a lot of help along the way. Good I'm glad,
Speaker 1: But nobody sat down and wrote the blog four times
Speaker 1: a day. You put those things together. So it's it's
Speaker 1: so cool, particularly when things are not going great. It's
Speaker 1: sometimes hard, like in the present moment, when something's not
Speaker 1: going great, looking back at an illustration of when that
Speaker 1: was also happening, but feeling like, well, there's no way
Speaker 1: that could happen twice, you know, but it always does.
Speaker 1: It's sometimes it's not on the timeline I think that
Speaker 1: we expect and we go, Wow, I'm back in the
Speaker 1: shutter and nothing's working out. I do remember when this
Speaker 1: happened before, But what are the chances that are happening again?
Speaker 1: And that's hopefully when you know someone else goes just
Speaker 1: take a deep breath, hang on, write something, go for
Speaker 1: a walk, love your dog, Oh my god, that I
Speaker 1: can do. I mean, I think that's what I do.
Speaker 1: I mean, what else are we supposed to do? Enjoy
Speaker 1: it all, because then it's over very quickly. Yeah. Recently
Speaker 1: I had a moment where I where like everything was
Speaker 1: kind of crashing and falling apart, not going the way
Speaker 1: that I thought it was going to go, and I
Speaker 1: just remember finally just crying, like losing it, crying in
Speaker 1: front of my boyfriend. He was in the other room
Speaker 1: and we've been dating for I don't know, six months,
Speaker 1: and I remember thinking I was terrified that he was
Speaker 1: gonna hear you know when you do that cry where
Speaker 1: you're like and you just can't breathe. And I was like,
Speaker 1: he's gonna hear you, he's gonna think you're nuts. And
Speaker 1: he came running around the corner and he was smiling
Speaker 1: and he was like, finally, finally, He's like, let it out.
Speaker 1: This sucks, everything sucks. Let it out. Feel sad. You
Speaker 1: have to feel this so you can stop feeling it
Speaker 1: and get back to the thing that you're supposed to be.
Speaker 1: He's like, you are exactly where you're supposed to be.
Speaker 1: And I just remember that being so comforting of like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to not feel it. You have to
Speaker 1: feel it, so you can stop. But right now where
Speaker 1: you are, stop trying to not be there, be there.
Speaker 1: You're exactly where you're supposed to be. I think that's
Speaker 1: hugely wise. It's difficult to do, and you do sometimes
Speaker 1: you need someone else to say it's all right, this sucks,
Speaker 1: and it's allowed to suck for a minute or longer
Speaker 1: than a minute. It's allowed to be bad, so that
Speaker 1: you can then regroup and figure out what the next
Speaker 1: move is and do that from a place of not
Speaker 1: feeling hysterical or like you're keeping it all in for
Speaker 1: everybody else's because it'll bubble up. Your stuff will always
Speaker 1: find you. I think so. But I do think it's
Speaker 1: constantly evolving, and I do think whatever looks like it's
Speaker 1: not working out, it really genuinely is something else working out.
Speaker 1: And just being able to pause in those moments and
Speaker 1: trust that. I mean, I don't know. I'm saying this
Speaker 1: because it's what I need to listen to. What quality
Speaker 1: do you like at least about yourself? I mean, how
Speaker 1: much time you got? But the one that will always
Speaker 1: I think haunt me is time management. I hate my
Speaker 1: lack of an ability to manage time. I get very
Speaker 1: caught up in my brain and I'm very curious, so
Speaker 1: I follow a lot of paths, Like I could spend
Speaker 1: an hour and a half reading about drama between two
Speaker 1: people I've never met and don't know and I've never
Speaker 1: heard of. Until I see a headline of this drama
Speaker 1: that sounds interesting, I can read it and learn everything
Speaker 1: about it and then just like not be bored for
Speaker 1: an hour and a half and I can learn something
Speaker 1: about me during that, And I can, but then I
Speaker 1: just lose track of everything else. Scheduling things makes me
Speaker 1: so anxious. I was ten minutes late, for this a
Speaker 1: thing that was very important to me, and I'm in
Speaker 1: my pajamas. I just find a way. But the most
Speaker 1: generous reading I've had of that is my good friend
Speaker 1: Mina Kimes, who also works in sports TV and is
Speaker 1: brilliant and is our future and our queen. She said
Speaker 1: she compared me to Andy Reid, and I know that
Speaker 1: might not land with many, but I can explain it.
Speaker 1: He's a football coach who is very creative in his
Speaker 1: play calling, but sometimes he gets so distracted by how
Speaker 1: creative he wants to be that he doesn't realize that
Speaker 1: the game is about to end, and so he runs
Speaker 1: out of time to do the thing he wanted to
Speaker 1: do because he was showing off all the things he
Speaker 1: knows how to do. It was part of the thing
Speaker 1: that's helped me see the good intentions of my weaknesses
Speaker 1: and try to do my best at them where I can,
Speaker 1: and then be prepared to apologize for them or warn
Speaker 1: people of them ahead of time, because nothing's worse than
Speaker 1: disappointing people. Oh, but that's just part of yourself criticism.
Speaker 1: You know there are things worse than disappointing people. Yes,
Speaker 1: probably killing people. I think maybe after you've disappointed them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well then you have to exactly. I like that idea
Speaker 1: that there isn't enough time. You can't say if your
Speaker 1: best plays for when the clock's running out. It's true.
Speaker 1: You just have to do it, you really do, and
Speaker 1: you really have to kind of I say this a lot.
Speaker 1: It's a soccer term, which is, even if it's going
Speaker 1: really badly, you have to play to the last whistle,
Speaker 1: like you have to play with everything, which I think
Speaker 1: is the other side of like don't save all your
Speaker 1: creative play for the last fourteen seconds of a game.
Speaker 1: But I'm a procrastinator. That's what I do because if
Speaker 1: I as soon as I write it, or film it
Speaker 1: or put it on paper, whatever it is I'm making,
Speaker 1: then it's going to be done. And I don't want
Speaker 1: it to be done. I like living in the part
Speaker 1: where you're figuring it out until it's perfect. I don't
Speaker 1: want to do it. But what about the idea that
Speaker 1: like there's no there there and that it is never
Speaker 1: going to be perfect? I know, what about letting go
Speaker 1: of the idea of like this constraint you've put on
Speaker 1: it and just be in the process, which you clearly
Speaker 1: love because God knows you create. Everything is self generated
Speaker 1: that you do, Everything is about you creating this content
Speaker 1: and offering that up. And people clearly obsessively love what
Speaker 1: you do. Even the people that don't get it, they
Speaker 1: love what you do. I think that might be one
Speaker 1: of the nicest things anyone said to me. That's very calm,
Speaker 1: but I do think it's true. It's like I was
Speaker 1: looking at the people that haven't necessarily got it. That's okay.
Speaker 1: Like again, this notion of time throwing out the window,
Speaker 1: it's like you're just waiting for everybody else to catch up.
Speaker 1: That's what it seems to me. I hope that you
Speaker 1: will be nicer to yourself about whatever you think you're
Speaker 1: shortcomings off, because you're great. Where and when were you happiest?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's hard. It's also a good question to
Speaker 1: think about, if I can just delay answering it for
Speaker 1: a second, because it's not the moments I find myself
Speaker 1: thinking about the most. Like when I heard this question,
Speaker 1: it was like, well, if you ask me sadness, I
Speaker 1: could give you top five off the top of my head.
Speaker 1: So it's good for me to go back through all
Speaker 1: the good ones and think about it. Can I give
Speaker 1: you two answers, because I think it shows the two
Speaker 1: types of happiness that I value the most. One was
Speaker 1: the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl fifty one, which I'm
Speaker 1: sure you remember many driver, is when the Patriots beat
Speaker 1: the Atlanta Falcons in overtime. It was the first overtime
Speaker 1: in the Super Bowl. It was a game that they
Speaker 1: were losing in the first half. It looked like it
Speaker 1: was gonna be a loss. I'm a Patriots fan. I
Speaker 1: had been in Houston for the week hosting my own
Speaker 1: show on TV Live, which I had never really done before,
Speaker 1: so it was a big accomplishment for me. It didn't
Speaker 1: go perfectly, but I at least learned a lot. I
Speaker 1: had like, it's a very small appearance on my favorite
Speaker 1: show in the world, the reason why I want to
Speaker 1: do this with my life, The Daily Show. I had
Speaker 1: done a silly like here's what's happening on social media,
Speaker 1: but it was my parents saw me on the Super Bowl,
Speaker 1: which you know, they were so proud, and I got
Speaker 1: to shout out my family on the Super Bowl. And
Speaker 1: then I was at the game and the Patriots came back,
Speaker 1: tied the game, we went to overtime, we won. I
Speaker 1: got down on the field and got to hug a
Speaker 1: player on the Patriots who I met through my job,
Speaker 1: Martellis Bennett, after he had just won the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1: I remember standing there and being like, this is is
Speaker 1: the peak of your life. This is the coolest moment
Speaker 1: that working and your job has gotten you to this
Speaker 1: place where And I don't think I really noticed then
Speaker 1: fully the extent of my happiness, but looking back at
Speaker 1: it now where we are in the world, everything was
Speaker 1: kind of perfect. It was such a celebratory moment. The
Speaker 1: second moment couldn't be more different, but feels almost the
Speaker 1: same in my heart. It was during the quarantine. I
Speaker 1: had woken up early for work. I was filming a
Speaker 1: TV show out of a spare bedroom of my house.
Speaker 1: I put on a full face and makeup, which I
Speaker 1: still have no idea how to do myself. God bless
Speaker 1: hair and makeup. That's what I've learned over these last
Speaker 1: couple of years. One of the many lessons is that
Speaker 1: those people are angels and I need them in my life.
Speaker 1: But I just put on this full face and makeup
Speaker 1: and done a fifteen minute hit from some room, and
Speaker 1: then I came back into my bedroom and my boyfriend
Speaker 1: and my dog were cuddled up asleep, and I just
Speaker 1: got back in bed with them and snuggled them, and
Speaker 1: I was like, this is it's all for this. These
Speaker 1: are the moments that I'll look back on and be
Speaker 1: like lived I loved. Things were bad, things were bad,
Speaker 1: world things were bad, and my job situation was bad,
Speaker 1: and it was a time of unrest, but in that
Speaker 1: moment we still found peace. I think that's why I
Speaker 1: value you know, so when you say happiest, it's like,
Speaker 1: not everything was the best, but that was exactly what
Speaker 1: my soul needed that day. Well. I do think that's
Speaker 1: the bit that we don't talk about enough, is that
Speaker 1: happiness is not necessarily qualified by everything being happy. There
Speaker 1: at these moments that we recognize happiness sometimes incredibly challenging.
Speaker 1: What year was that that they beat the falcons in
Speaker 1: in overtime? It was twenty seventeen. It was the before times. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: before we knew well, but we kind of thought we knew,
Speaker 1: but we didn't know. You know, well, I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, Trump was the helpful herald of the pestilence
Speaker 1: that was coming. So actually your right sort of bang
Speaker 1: in the middle of it. That does sound. Even as
Speaker 1: somebody for whom football is a completely different game, I
Speaker 1: can appreciate how absolutely astonishing that moment must have been.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was unbelievable. And it's not like,
Speaker 1: you know, it would have been obviously a better movie
Speaker 1: in the movie version of it. It would have been
Speaker 1: like the Patriots first Super Bowl, like they had one,
Speaker 1: they had the capacity to win, but it was the
Speaker 1: way that they were completely down the first half. It
Speaker 1: was awful. Brady had thrown a pick at the end
Speaker 1: of the second quarter and it was just like, what's happening?
Speaker 1: And then it just it was beautiful. It was awesome.
Speaker 1: So let me ask you this, because again with my
Speaker 1: whatever the opposite of encyclopediac is, that's my knowledge about
Speaker 1: American football. How is it being a fan of a
Speaker 1: team that is never the underdog? And I'm I'm assuming
Speaker 1: that they are never the underdog soon once it all
Speaker 1: wears off, because you know, sports fans memories kind of
Speaker 1: linger for a while. We don't like to move on,
Speaker 1: is one thing I've learned working in this industry, And
Speaker 1: so like that narrative is gonna last for a while,
Speaker 1: but they'll be underdogs against soon and people are gonna
Speaker 1: love it. But it's funny because I grew up with
Speaker 1: my dad complaining about how Boston fans couldn't catch a break,
Speaker 1: the Red Sox, the Patriots. It's just like let down
Speaker 1: after letdown. He was not a basketball guy, so I
Speaker 1: probably back then would have been like, you should have
Speaker 1: liked the Celtics that went well, But he raised me
Speaker 1: to think that we had been down trodden. And then
Speaker 1: sort of by the time I came into my own
Speaker 1: understanding of my sports fandom as I'm hitting high school
Speaker 1: and then college, we were just winning all the time,
Speaker 1: and so it was like I now feel like I
Speaker 1: was spoiled, but at the time I felt like I
Speaker 1: had inherited my Dad's like, no, no, this, we deserved this.
Speaker 1: But it's like, yeah, but I didn't deserve my dad
Speaker 1: deserved it. And I'll tell you my dad didn't even
Speaker 1: enjoy it as much as he probably would have thought
Speaker 1: that he did because he never trusted He never trusted
Speaker 1: the Red Sox. He never let them like become the winners,
Speaker 1: and then he was like, I can count on them
Speaker 1: to win. It was like the second they would lose,
Speaker 1: he was like, ah, they stink and would just bail
Speaker 1: on him. And it was just this to me, stereotypical
Speaker 1: attitude of a person from Boston towards sports that never
Speaker 1: fully changed if you experienced the pain of it, because
Speaker 1: you always knew it was just around the corner. So
Speaker 1: I tried to slow him down and tell him, like,
Speaker 1: this is the good. Enjoy the good while it's here.
Speaker 1: I know. I think that's what I'm interested in. It's
Speaker 1: like the loss of Like I loved my football team,
Speaker 1: my soccer team when we were shipped, and then I
Speaker 1: loved it when everybody gave us ship for the rich
Speaker 1: Russian coming and augmenting our team, and it changed everything.
Speaker 1: And now we're back in the shitter with the government
Speaker 1: basically taking bids on who's going to buy the team
Speaker 1: that I've supported since I was a kid. Like, it's weird,
Speaker 1: but I think those vicissitudes as a fan those verse
Speaker 1: did you say vicissitudes? Vicissitudes ups and downs in a
Speaker 1: ten cent word? I love? What a good word is that?
Speaker 1: A C there V I C. You don't have to
Speaker 1: know this, mini driver, I'll google it. V I C
Speaker 1: I S S I T U D E S. Vicissitudes, vicissitudes,
Speaker 1: That's what I would have guessed I would have gotten
Speaker 1: that in a spelling ups and downs, Katie, ups and downs, Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: But I think that's part of what is. It's like everything.
Speaker 1: It's what makes you appreciate the well being ship made
Speaker 1: you appreciate snuggling in bed with your dog and your boyfriend.
Speaker 1: And I'd take it any day of the week. If
Speaker 1: I could teleport to a place, I think that would
Speaker 1: be it, you know, And I try to remind myself
Speaker 1: that every time I'm here, I'm like, this is where
Speaker 1: you want to be. So while you're here, don't worry
Speaker 1: about anything else. Just think about this, because this when
Speaker 1: you're out doing all the other stuff, you're gonna want
Speaker 1: to be back here. So be here now. Yeah, exactly. Okay.
Speaker 1: So what relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love for you.
Speaker 1: It's a weird answer, but stay with me because I
Speaker 1: think this is what my brain really thinks. It's Trinity
Speaker 1: and Neo from the Matrix, a faultless answer. I took
Speaker 1: forever to see that movie because I had a weirdly
Speaker 1: vivid memory of my dad watching it when it came out,
Speaker 1: and so I was eleven, which is probably too old
Speaker 1: to be scared. But my dad was watching it really
Speaker 1: late at night, really loud, and I just remember gunshots
Speaker 1: being very loud in my house and it's scaring me
Speaker 1: because it was middle of the night. It woke me up,
Speaker 1: and so I was like, what movie were you watching
Speaker 1: last night? And he said, The Matrix, Mike, I'll never
Speaker 1: see it. I'll never see it. It was so scary.
Speaker 1: And then you know, when we were locked up and
Speaker 1: I had nothing to do, I was like, let me
Speaker 1: watch all this stuff I've never seen. I watched The Matrix,
Speaker 1: and my takeaway at the end of the whole thing,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I feel like a lot of people missed
Speaker 1: the point of this movie. Like it felt to me
Speaker 1: like the most obvious thing was Trinity. Loving Neo was
Speaker 1: how Neo was able to believe that he was the one,
Speaker 1: which is the only way he was able to become
Speaker 1: the one. So without love, he wouldn't have known his
Speaker 1: own potential. Her belief in him allowed him to believe
Speaker 1: in himself because he loved her, and if she believed
Speaker 1: in him, then he believed in him. To me, that
Speaker 1: is love. Love is finding somebody who believes in you
Speaker 1: so much that you couldn't possibly not believe in yourself.
Speaker 1: Do you think that that needing self love to be
Speaker 1: augmented by someone else? Is like? Is that part of
Speaker 1: love you like? Is there a missing piece that, like,
Speaker 1: for example, your boyfriend or someone that you love fills
Speaker 1: because you that's part of that your foundational understanding of
Speaker 1: love is like having something else there to make it real.
Speaker 1: It's having a partner to whether any storm with. It's
Speaker 1: having a teammate. It's having someone you can always trust
Speaker 1: that they're going to be honest with you and also
Speaker 1: keep you grounded, remind you of who you are. It's
Speaker 1: just an external reflection of your best self to remind you.
Speaker 1: You know, when I look at my boyfriend and he
Speaker 1: looks at me, I can almost it helps me be
Speaker 1: aware of me because I see him looking at me.
Speaker 1: Is this making any sense? No, it makes total sense.
Speaker 1: I just think it's really I think it's really interesting.
Speaker 1: Think it's really interesting because what you're describing really is
Speaker 1: like having this coach that you're allowed to be in
Speaker 1: love with. It is that bad? Am I finding out
Speaker 1: that I'm codependent? No? Not all, are you joking? It
Speaker 1: just means that that you're literally like living in the
Speaker 1: world that you love being in, which is like, of
Speaker 1: course love would have a sports analogy in it for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the word. Is that somebody to imbue you just
Speaker 1: say your self love, you are worthy, and then you
Speaker 1: yourself see yourself as worthy. Yeah, that's every great teacher.
Speaker 1: So yeah, if we need someone to help us get there,
Speaker 1: why the hell not? I mean again, for me life,
Speaker 1: all bets are off. That's why I hate you know
Speaker 1: how to books about certainly the big life subjects, because
Speaker 1: it's not one size fits all. It's not if you
Speaker 1: do this, then this will happen. It's like read this,
Speaker 1: think about this, and then put it into your main frame.
Speaker 1: But like you've really identified I like having knowing someone
Speaker 1: loves me. It makes me help me love myself better.
Speaker 1: So if that makes you feel good, then who's to
Speaker 1: say that you're supposed to get the self love first
Speaker 1: and then be loved. Everybody says it, But here's the thing,
Speaker 1: that you have to love yourself before someone else can
Speaker 1: love you. Does still ring true to me because I
Speaker 1: think there was a period of my life where I
Speaker 1: was The best way I can describe it is like
Speaker 1: acting out what I thought I was supposed to be
Speaker 1: doing and then I sort of had, you know, life happen,
Speaker 1: and recently have come into like just do what you
Speaker 1: want to be doing. And I think once I came
Speaker 1: into that was when I found I mean, I think
Speaker 1: he's the love of my life and you know, have
Speaker 1: had this incredible relationship that came exactly when I needed it.
Speaker 1: And he sort of helps me remember me as opposed
Speaker 1: to telling you know what I mean, Instead of telling
Speaker 1: me I'm worthy and so I'm worthy, it's more like
Speaker 1: sometimes I forget and he will remind me of it.
Speaker 1: And because he exists externally from my brain, which sometimes
Speaker 1: I get into situations because of my mental health because
Speaker 1: I struggle with depression and I have a d h D.
Speaker 1: Sometimes things get a little toxic upstairs and I can't
Speaker 1: tell if it's me or if it's real. And he's
Speaker 1: sort of just like the what's the thing in in
Speaker 1: that movie about dreaming. It's a little token or whatever
Speaker 1: that they have that reminds them of an inception. What
Speaker 1: do they call it? What is it? Well, it's his
Speaker 1: spinning top or whatever. Yeah, yeah, it's he's like my
Speaker 1: little like okay, the spins. So it is real, I
Speaker 1: have a boyfriend like that too. Oh no, is that?
Speaker 1: Did you say you had a boyfriend like this too?
Speaker 1: As in like I'm gonna that this is going to
Speaker 1: end and I'm gonna go under the next one. No no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I have a boyfriend like that now, okay, thos it
Speaker 1: had damn so it ends? No no, no no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: And it's all of that idea that you have to
Speaker 1: get there by yourself. Yes, it's a really nice and
Speaker 1: great thing. And of course finding self love and yourself
Speaker 1: is a really good thing to aim for. Having help
Speaker 1: and being augmented by a loving partner or someone who
Speaker 1: is more tolerant of your ship than you are of
Speaker 1: your own is a really good thing, well prescribed so
Speaker 1: many things. It's really you know yourself to know that
Speaker 1: he's helping that part of you that is in pain
Speaker 1: or is difficult. So that feels a lot like love
Speaker 1: to me. But yeah, also Neo and Trinity for sure.
Speaker 1: And just as an aside, I met the as was
Speaker 1: then witch Howski Brothers now just the Wichowskis for that
Speaker 1: part and wanted to in that film. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: you would have been great. No, But but there can
Speaker 1: be only one. I mean, carry On Moss was who
Speaker 1: Carryan's just plays it perfectly. She really is. It's just
Speaker 1: she's just the most beautiful and lovely and deep. But
Speaker 1: I remember looking at the storyboards of that film and going,
Speaker 1: this film is epic. It's very good. I wasted so
Speaker 1: many years not dressing up as her for Halloween. I
Speaker 1: waited way too long to watch it. That's okay, sort of.
Speaker 1: The nineties are really bad. They really are. I've got
Speaker 1: like bangs. You know we're doing it. You just don't
Speaker 1: plug your eyebrows. No, I won't. Can we never go
Speaker 1: back to whatever we were doing? Then? It's just terrific.
Speaker 1: It was awful. It really was awful. So in your life,
Speaker 1: what person, place, or experience has most altered it? I
Speaker 1: want to give credit to the good. But I'm I
Speaker 1: can't believe I'm voluntarily bringing up this topic. But I'm
Speaker 1: going to say middle school. I think middle school as
Speaker 1: a place and as just like an entire chapter of
Speaker 1: my life shaped me the most as a person. Because look,
Speaker 1: I was born into middle class family in a suburb
Speaker 1: framing him Massachusetts shout out. You know, life wasn't hard
Speaker 1: by a large metric. But I had a bad haircut
Speaker 1: from first grade through eighth grade, and those last three
Speaker 1: years there were a real tough time because it was
Speaker 1: six seventh eighth, which is when kids like no enough
Speaker 1: words to hurt you, and um I was. I wasn't
Speaker 1: very popular, but I was such a happy, smiley, friendly
Speaker 1: kid and wanted everybody to like me. And I think
Speaker 1: I learned in middle school a lot about people, and
Speaker 1: a lot about me, and a lot about how little
Speaker 1: a lot of things matter, like the opinions of people
Speaker 1: whose opinions you, in other contexts wouldn't respect. I think
Speaker 1: it taught me the value of being a good friend,
Speaker 1: because that was one of the only ways I was
Speaker 1: going to make a lot of friends is by, you know,
Speaker 1: being there for people who didn't have anybody else. And
Speaker 1: so I've always said this about me and never really
Speaker 1: understood what it said about me. I used to think
Speaker 1: it was a bad thing that if somebody was being bullied,
Speaker 1: even if that person had bullied me before, I would
Speaker 1: always be like, all right, do you want to talk
Speaker 1: about it and be there for them. I always thought
Speaker 1: it was a weakness, and I'm starting to see it
Speaker 1: as a fundamental part of who I am. It's tough
Speaker 1: now because when we get into issues of bigger things
Speaker 1: like hatred and race and all the things. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that I'm a person that thinks people can do
Speaker 1: no wrong. I'm a person that values holding people accountable
Speaker 1: with a loving hand. Does that make sense? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just think people were mean to people and I
Speaker 1: wanted to be nice. So let me ask you. Does
Speaker 1: that inform dealing with that version of middle school today,
Speaker 1: which for me is like certain aspects of social media
Speaker 1: and that toxicity that's there. Oh yeah? Was it are
Speaker 1: traumatically recognizable for you? Or do you try and deal
Speaker 1: with it in the same way? I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: think it eviogates maybe easier, but it actually I mean,
Speaker 1: in the last few years, I think it has. My
Speaker 1: relationship with social media I would not describe as healthy.
Speaker 1: I came up through you know, YouTube videos, and when
Speaker 1: I was making YouTube videos, I was reading the comments.
Speaker 1: I used to run my own Facebook page where I
Speaker 1: had like seventy fans and I would talk to them.
Speaker 1: I would like post and they would post. I knew
Speaker 1: them by name. When one of them just stopped posting,
Speaker 1: I noticed, I asked where he was like, I'm incredibly online.
Speaker 1: What I've started to look at social media as now
Speaker 1: is like, you get to watch people interacting with each other.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they're doing it performatively, sometimes they know like somebody
Speaker 1: else send a tweet where it's like I feel this
Speaker 1: way about this thing, and I've done it all figured out.
Speaker 1: That kind of stuff you gotta take with a grain
Speaker 1: of salt. But when you get into the meat of it,
Speaker 1: when you scroll down through the replies and the conversations
Speaker 1: that branch off from the replies, or if you scroll
Speaker 1: through Reddit, not at the you know, controversial top pages,
Speaker 1: but you go to the pages of things you're interested in,
Speaker 1: and why watch people have conversations. You can observe humans
Speaker 1: and how they interact and how conflicts happen, and where
Speaker 1: the disagreements happen, and when disagreements turn into agreements. You
Speaker 1: can be like, oh, that that's how they bridged that gap.
Speaker 1: You can learn stuff. And so I started looking at
Speaker 1: social media that way. I used to get in arguments
Speaker 1: all the time, replying to tweet something You're not seeing
Speaker 1: it my way. And I had a boyfriend and ex
Speaker 1: boyfriend now who was like, you're not gonna change people's minds.
Speaker 1: Why do you care? And I was like, it's a
Speaker 1: really good point. But I think the reason I care
Speaker 1: is because to not care implies that I think I'm
Speaker 1: better or different than anybody else. I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people want to be a part of the conversation.
Speaker 1: The way that they can do that is social media.
Speaker 1: The good of that that we've seen as people and
Speaker 1: communities who haven't had an avenue to speak on things
Speaker 1: and the way that they receive things have been able
Speaker 1: to speak up and and meet each other and sort
Speaker 1: of come together and form movements. I think the bad
Speaker 1: side of it is that everybody gets to say anything
Speaker 1: they want about everything that happens, and everything is constantly happening.
Speaker 1: So you get this world where now we have news
Speaker 1: organizations that write articles where the headline is blank. Happens
Speaker 1: and social media erupts and you're like, yes, something happened
Speaker 1: and people reacted, but is it worth writing a whole
Speaker 1: article on your website, which then makes it seem like
Speaker 1: this idea that maybe seventeen people had is now an
Speaker 1: idea that people should pick sides on. It turns everything
Speaker 1: into a conversation about the conversation instead of an actual
Speaker 1: conversation about a thing. And so like I've tried to,
Speaker 1: you know, be the change you want to see in
Speaker 1: the world. Blah blah blah. I try to when I
Speaker 1: log onto social media. Now, this is so stupid, but
Speaker 1: hopefully it will make sense to someone. And I'm not
Speaker 1: recommending this, but my approaches. I pretend it's somebody who
Speaker 1: loves me, who's joking or who um isn't as good
Speaker 1: at communicating as I am, haven't studied and thought about
Speaker 1: the amount of words and how to use them the
Speaker 1: way that I have. So I give them the benefit
Speaker 1: of the doubt a little bit. And then if they
Speaker 1: continue to prove and I've got my own little red flags,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, all right, that's one. That's one strike.
Speaker 1: You're not getting past this. Uh, I will end the
Speaker 1: conversation for my own sake. But I've noticed people you
Speaker 1: can kind of be like, I get it. I disagree,
Speaker 1: but I get it. On like certain things, there are
Speaker 1: places they can go that are bad. And like I said,
Speaker 1: my privilege has made it so I don't have to
Speaker 1: deal with much of that. But whenever I hear people say,
Speaker 1: here's the problem with social media like people. It's people.
Speaker 1: Heart of it is people. It's just people. Even the
Speaker 1: things that are the problem with social media that's engineered
Speaker 1: by the social it's made by people. And so what
Speaker 1: the problem always boiled down to me, it felt like
Speaker 1: was it's people. And as a people, I'm like, maybe
Speaker 1: I can find some sort of an answer about how
Speaker 1: I think we should use it, and then I can
Speaker 1: just start using it that way and see how it works.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, I do. I'm also fascinated by what
Speaker 1: was your haircut between first and eighth grade? I can
Speaker 1: show you it. I want to see that, because like,
Speaker 1: what was that so bad? It was? So I'm Italian,
Speaker 1: um like three quarters Italian, a quarter Irish, So that
Speaker 1: means I'm furry, if you will, if I can put
Speaker 1: that as cutely as possible. And so, you know, going
Speaker 1: through puberty, I had this short haircut. So it was
Speaker 1: like my mom would do this little swoosh, she would
Speaker 1: blow dry this little wave at the front. Uh, and
Speaker 1: then it was just short like a boy's haircut in
Speaker 1: the back. And so I was, you know, often misunderstood
Speaker 1: for a boy because you know, at that age you
Speaker 1: see the haircut, you just assume. I played hockey when
Speaker 1: I was really little, so I had a helmet and
Speaker 1: was called Kyle. I was quiet and speak up, and
Speaker 1: I would just let them. I didn't want to have
Speaker 1: to explain that I was a girl that felt uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Then as I was getting older and trying to grow
Speaker 1: it out, and it was, it went through this awkward stay.
Speaker 1: I'll try to find you the worst picture I have many,
Speaker 1: it's real bad. I'm sure that your mom was just
Speaker 1: being practical, having your happy short na. She was. She's like,
Speaker 1: it makes you stand out, it's sure dead it did.
Speaker 1: I genuinely think it was because she couldn't find me
Speaker 1: on stage at the day's recital because all the girls
Speaker 1: had buns, and she was like, just cut it off
Speaker 1: and then I can find her by the way. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not mad at that parenting logic, but I'm sorry
Speaker 1: for your trauma. Oh thank you. I walked my dog
Speaker 1: during whatever time I was home last some holiday, I
Speaker 1: walked my dog in the middle schools right across the
Speaker 1: street from my house. I walked my dog there and
Speaker 1: we walked around and I peeked into the cafeteria, which
Speaker 1: was like my own personal hell, and it just I
Speaker 1: was like, ha, I made it, so screw all, y'all.
Speaker 1: I made it. My dog was like, what are we doing?
Speaker 1: Can I pee? I was like, yeah, go ahead, pee
Speaker 1: on the building for all I care. I really have
Speaker 1: so loved talking to you. I'm so thank you, Katie.
Speaker 1: I'm really, really, really excited for whatever you do next.
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, I have a very strong, witchy feeling.
Speaker 1: You just feel like the right person who's going to
Speaker 1: be able to champion everything that you're brilliant at is
Speaker 1: just is right there. Oh many, You're just so sweet.
Speaker 1: This is the sweetest. This has been such a joy.
Speaker 1: Thank you for having me. There's been a bit of
Speaker 1: a sea change in the world of sports and sports media.
Speaker 1: With people like Katie in the industry, I think we
Speaker 1: can feel comfortable that the future is in good hands.
Speaker 1: To stay up to date on Katie's reporting and announcements,
Speaker 1: follow her on Instagram at Natie Colon. Yep, that is
Speaker 1: Natie Colon, not Katie Nolan. Mini Questions is hosted and
Speaker 1: written by me Mini Driver, supervising producer Aaron Kaufman, Producer
Speaker 1: Morgan Levoy, research assistant Marissa Brown. Original music Sorry Baby
Speaker 1: by Mini Driver, Additional music by Aaron Kaufman. Executive produced
Speaker 1: by me Mini Driver. Special thanks to Jim Nikolay, Will Pearson,
Speaker 1: Addison No Day, Lisa Castella and a Nick Oppenheim at
Speaker 1: w kPr DA, La Pescador, Kate Driver and Jason Weinberg,
Speaker 1: And for con cintly solicited TEX support, Henry Driver,