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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, we could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. Bug it up,

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Speaker 1: Hold on tight, we got it for you. Here it

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Speaker 1: is Strawberry Letter. Subject You're not as sexy as you

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Speaker 1: think you are. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty year

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Speaker 1: old married woman and my husband and I have been

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Speaker 1: together for six years. We have a three year old son,

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Speaker 1: and since I had the baby, our intimacy has gotten

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Speaker 1: a little stale. We tried role playing, watching videos, and

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Speaker 1: talking dirty to keep the magic going, but nothing helped.

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Speaker 1: A friend suggested we put a full length mirror next

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Speaker 1: to our bed because it worked for her and her hubby.

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Speaker 1: They love watching themselves getting it on. My husband and

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Speaker 1: I decided to try it. We bought a big mirror

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Speaker 1: and put it right next to our bed. The first

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Speaker 1: night we got busy, I was disgusted and utterly mortified

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Speaker 1: at what I saw. I haven't lost all the weight

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Speaker 1: from when I was pregnant, and seeing myself from those

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Speaker 1: angles and in the crazy positions my husband likes. I

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Speaker 1: was ashamed at what I saw, and he did not

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Speaker 1: look that great either. I was so turned off by

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Speaker 1: watching us get it on, but my husband loved it.

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Speaker 1: I tried to keep my eyes closed, but he wanted

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Speaker 1: me to look him in the eye the entire time.

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Speaker 1: I faked it. I faked it until he was done.

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Speaker 1: He asked me if I loved it, and I yelled,

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Speaker 1: heck no, I don't like it at all. He said

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Speaker 1: that I had to get used to it because he

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Speaker 1: feels like our sex life is back to normal. I

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Speaker 1: want to crack the mirror and throw it out. I

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Speaker 1: tactfully told him that he's overweight and so am I,

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Speaker 1: but he said he doesn't care how he looks, and

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Speaker 1: the mirror is staying. I have been dieting since then

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Speaker 1: to get myself back in shape, and I've lost a

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Speaker 1: few pounds, but he is not working out or dieting,

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Speaker 1: so I'm stuck looking at his big, wide naked behind

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Speaker 1: all the time. How do I tell him I knew

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Speaker 1: you were gonna like that line. How do I tell

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Speaker 1: him that he is not sexy without insulting him or

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Speaker 1: making him feel self conscious. Please advise, well, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm glad at least you found something thanks

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Speaker 1: to your good friends to help you get your groove

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Speaker 1: back A big mirror. Who knew that was the answer,

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Speaker 1: because you said your sex life have been getting stale,

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Speaker 1: so this is good. I mean, you could look at

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Speaker 1: this at least a couple of different ways. You can

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Speaker 1: choose to concentrate on your partner's body like you've done,

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Speaker 1: and not, you know, get into the act itself. That

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Speaker 1: would be boring and utterly disgusting, as you said, because

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Speaker 1: you couldn't get past his body or yours at the time.

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Speaker 1: The way you could look at it is just to

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Speaker 1: go with the moment and forget what he looks like,

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Speaker 1: just you know, get into it. The good thing is

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Speaker 1: that it did motivate you, I'll say this to get

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Speaker 1: in better shape for yourself, which is good for your health.

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Speaker 1: But you want to know, how do you tell him

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Speaker 1: that he's not sexy because you don't want to do

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Speaker 1: it without insulting him or making him feel self conscious.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you said you said you told him that

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Speaker 1: you didn't like it, and he said, well, he did

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Speaker 1: in the mirror staying. So you got to try and

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Speaker 1: persuade him, you know, in the best way you can.

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Speaker 1: And sounds like you know how to do it, because

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Speaker 1: he's happy now to let him know that. You know,

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Speaker 1: why don't you guys, you know, get healthy, eat better

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Speaker 1: so you can look good in the mirror. That turns

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Speaker 1: you on. You have to tell him stuff like that

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Speaker 1: so he'll get into it, all right. I think if

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Speaker 1: you tell him in that way, you know he won't

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Speaker 1: feel self conscious about it and you won't insult him,

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Speaker 1: all right, Steve, Well, well, well, well you ain't as

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Speaker 1: sexy as you think you are. Well, this thirty year

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Speaker 1: old married woman, her husband been together six years. I

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Speaker 1: got three year old, and uh, in that intimacy kind

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Speaker 1: of got a little stale. So they tried some things,

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Speaker 1: you know, they were doing role playing. They've been watching

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Speaker 1: videos talking dirty, but nothing to help. A friend of

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Speaker 1: yours told y'all, y'all need to get a four left mirror,

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Speaker 1: put it next to y'all's bed, and and look at y'allself. Now,

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Speaker 1: the first night y'all did it, you got disgusted and

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Speaker 1: utterly mortified at what you saw because you ain't lost

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Speaker 1: all the weight from when I was pregnant. And that's understandable.

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Speaker 1: You know that baby weight. It's hard to get it off,

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Speaker 1: but you didn't. You Now you're too hard on yourself

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Speaker 1: now and you've been seeing yourself from all these angles

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Speaker 1: in the crazy position. Your husband like you ain't know

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Speaker 1: you look like that? See you know why because you're

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Speaker 1: looking at yourself from the side. I have four worn y'all.

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Speaker 1: The best way to look at yourself naked is fresh

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Speaker 1: out the shower. Don't dry off and walk directly, head

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Speaker 1: on straight to the mirror. That's your absolute best naked body.

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Speaker 1: Don't dry off, and do not turn sideway. No, I

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Speaker 1: came out. See. I came out the bathroom one time

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Speaker 1: taking a shower, and I was going over to my

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Speaker 1: claus and I walked past the mirror and I ran

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Speaker 1: right quick because I thought somebody was in the bathroom

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Speaker 1: and it was my fat ass. It was me. I

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Speaker 1: thought somebody was in the bathroom. Yeah, it was because

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Speaker 1: I looked at myself from the side, So to you

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Speaker 1: seeing yourself from the side, I was ashamed. And he

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Speaker 1: didn't look that great either. You got so turned off

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Speaker 1: watching but your husband liked it. I try to keep

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Speaker 1: my eyes closed, but he wanted me to look him

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Speaker 1: in the eye entire time. Oh yeah, that's a turn

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Speaker 1: on right there. I faked it till he was done.

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Speaker 1: He asked me if I loved I said hell nah.

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Speaker 1: He said, you better get used to it, because we're

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Speaker 1: back and I'm gonna keep it like that. So not

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Speaker 1: he keeping the mirror and you trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: how to tell him he's not sexy without insulting him

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Speaker 1: or make him feel self coun I had that answer

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Speaker 1: for you, So as we go. Right at twenty three

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Speaker 1: minutes after the hour, Today's Strawberry Letters subject You're not

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Speaker 1: as sexy as you think you are. We'll get back

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Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: Come on, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters, subject You're not

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Speaker 1: as sexy as you think you are. Yeah. They didn't messed.

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Speaker 1: Rather bought this mirror listening to a friend of hers.

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Speaker 1: A friend told him he to add spicy tea sex.

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Speaker 1: When they put the mirror up and they got busy.

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Speaker 1: The woman did not like the way she looked because

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Speaker 1: she ain't lost her baby weight. She got three year old,

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Speaker 1: and she was mortified at the way she looked from

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Speaker 1: some of the angles that her and her husband had

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Speaker 1: her doing. So she didn't like it. She was ashamed.

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Speaker 1: But here the thing was, he didn't look that great either,

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Speaker 1: so she was so turned off by us getting it

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Speaker 1: on that she tried to close her eyes. Now he

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Speaker 1: wanted me. He wanted her to look at her in

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Speaker 1: the eye the entire time, so she faked the tea

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Speaker 1: was gone. He asked me if I loved it. I said, hell, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't like it all. Well, he said, you better

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Speaker 1: get used to it, because if we feel like our

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Speaker 1: sex life is back, I want to crack that mirror

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Speaker 1: and throw it out. Now I'm gonna show you how

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Speaker 1: to do that when tomorrow night your wessel heels and

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Speaker 1: then act like you get good to you and hand

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Speaker 1: your leg off the bed and kick it. Gotta cracked

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Speaker 1: the mirror and break it. It'll be over and hear think,

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Speaker 1: just because he was really bringing it. All you want

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Speaker 1: to do is screwed off to the edge of the bed,

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Speaker 1: let that leg fall off and kick that damn mill

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Speaker 1: with him heels on ocause we can get rid of light.

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Speaker 1: But I tactfully told him he's overweight, and so in

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Speaker 1: my he said he don't kill how he loved, and

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Speaker 1: the mirror stayed. I've been dying since then to get

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Speaker 1: myself back in shape. I've lost a few pounds when

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Speaker 1: he ain't working out or die. So I'm stuck looking

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Speaker 1: at his big, wide naked behind all the time. How

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Speaker 1: do I tell him he's not sexy without insulting him

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Speaker 1: or making him feel self conscious? Here's what you got

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Speaker 1: to do. When a man and think he bringing it,

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Speaker 1: you can't insult him. So what you have to do

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Speaker 1: is you have to insult him, but in complimentary insulting waves.

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Speaker 1: You have to insult him, but in complimentary sexy waves. Oh,

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Speaker 1: come on, fat daddy, you got stuff. Yeah, spank me

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Speaker 1: with your fat. You know, you got to say stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. He do a turne him home and but then'

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Speaker 1: here go what spank me with your fat? You know? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I see your fat boy? Oh bring it, pills, braid

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Speaker 1: dough boy, can't be this good. You got to say

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Speaker 1: stuff like that. You're wid bringing it? Yeah, ah, you know,

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Speaker 1: just start saying his saying the class is coming to town.

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Speaker 1: Oh s coming to town. Yeah you got to do that.

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Speaker 1: You gotta come up with names that, oh, fat albut

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Speaker 1: is in the building. You got to say stuff like that,

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Speaker 1: but say it during sex where he after while he

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Speaker 1: got way mine, Who the here you calling fat album?

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Speaker 1: But I was just looking at me, a baby, that's

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Speaker 1: who you mad at me? I don't stop keep going,

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Speaker 1: and you just got you got to crack him with

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Speaker 1: insults that are complimentary, complimentary insults, right, he got the message.

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Speaker 1: You think one of them, one of them gonna be

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Speaker 1: really really be striking hood with it. You just gotta

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Speaker 1: say say stuff that's domino. You got you say it

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Speaker 1: like that, you know, Oh look at my little butterball turkey.

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Speaker 1: You know, Oh you better come on with your big

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Speaker 1: white naked ass. Just look how wide you is. Let

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Speaker 1: me tell some boy you might not be long. But

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Speaker 1: who are you? Why? What? What did she say? Oh?

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Speaker 1: You ain't doing nothing? Who you? Why thought? Get? I

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Speaker 1: can't even see the head board? Oh you got some

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Speaker 1: bad anything at your stomach? O my stomach? Is it? Yeah? Man?

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Speaker 1: You know you know, hold on, you know, I appreciate you,

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Speaker 1: you know, getting into it and that thing. But you

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Speaker 1: don't you don't think you're saying a little bit too much. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm just saying what I see. That's all I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: Let you see something, say something, see something, say something.

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Speaker 1: You know. I'm all, I know, I'm just you know.

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Speaker 1: I mean here, all this mirror, all this mirror, all

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Speaker 1: these angles and everything. Come on, Oh, mister Wace, what

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Speaker 1: we're gonna do tonight? Gosh, thank you, Steve. We got

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Speaker 1: the message all right. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letters.

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Speaker 1: Can say one last thing, one last thing and if

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Speaker 1: that don't work, divorce Hill. As I was saying, Post

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Speaker 1: your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve FM on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Please don't forget to check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up at forty

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Speaker 1: six after the hour from the Talk, It will be

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Speaker 1: our girl Cheryl Underwood. Right after this, you're listening to

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Speaker 1: this name Harvey Morning Show