Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. Chelsea Handa. Welcome to the show. Hi, Trevor.
Speaker 1: How are you. I've been better, but I'm good. I'm
Speaker 1: getting that every day. How are you. I'm doing well.
Speaker 1: I noticed that you got a new studio here. The
Speaker 1: last time I was here, we were somewhere else, yes,
Speaker 1: which means we weren't here, but yes, yeah, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what it means. Anyway, Congratulations on the upgrade.
Speaker 1: The rooms were delightful. Thank you very much. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much. It's like a work in progress of life,
Speaker 1: and I feel like we're all in it right now.
Speaker 1: It's like nothing is back to normal. We're in the
Speaker 1: hybrid phase. And then you know, we're gonna get ready
Speaker 1: to go back to a different phase of life. And
Speaker 1: let's talk about you and your phases though. People's Choice Award, congratulations,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I beat you and the People's Choice
Speaker 1: Best Comedy to our category. I was in the category. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you were nominated for a People's Choice Award, but then
Speaker 1: I won. Well, I wouldn't say congratulations had I known.
Speaker 1: I just thought you want an award. I thought you
Speaker 1: were being a big boy about it. I was gonna say, great,
Speaker 1: look at you. No. No, okay, well let's take it
Speaker 1: back you guys, let's go back. No, but for real,
Speaker 1: congratulations and congratulations like for me, I think, you know,
Speaker 1: for all of us as comedians. The Grammy nomination, I mean,
Speaker 1: you know the first one. No, I was in Hawaii
Speaker 1: with Joe Koy and I woke up and I, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is definitely my first one. And I got a
Speaker 1: text from my agent and she said, You've been nominated
Speaker 1: for a Grammy Award. And I was like, a Grammy
Speaker 1: for what? I mean the irony. I have no rhythm,
Speaker 1: I can't sing, I can't dance. And so I was like, Joe,
Speaker 1: I've been nominated for a Grammy. He's like, you're kidding me.
Speaker 1: So that's exciting that comedians have that feeling. It literally
Speaker 1: is a weird feeling because you don't think of the
Speaker 1: Grammys as including like stand up in that way is
Speaker 1: that you do have the comedy album as well. And
Speaker 1: so I mean, I was just happy for you because
Speaker 1: I feel like you've just Chelsea, You've been making hits
Speaker 1: for a very long time. Like your best selling author, right,
Speaker 1: what's five or six books? Now? How many? Six? Six?
Speaker 1: One New York Times best selling books. I mean, but
Speaker 1: who am I to brag? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I just want to set the record straight. You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? Um you have. I mean every TV
Speaker 1: show is been a hit, and now we're seeing the
Speaker 1: new Chelsea, the Chelsea and love right. People love it.
Speaker 1: They love to see me in love. Well, I think
Speaker 1: because for a long time people have only seen you
Speaker 1: as like the horny Chelsea. I mean, like even you're
Speaker 1: true like vaccinated in horny, Like we know, like that
Speaker 1: Chelsea's like I'm drinking one, I'm horny, And now this
Speaker 1: Chelsea is like, well I'm in love. I'm still horny,
Speaker 1: but more directed at one person now than it's ever been.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's really nice to see the reaction from
Speaker 1: people being so happy that I'm in love. Like I
Speaker 1: didn't realize how many people were rooting for me, you know,
Speaker 1: Like I want to give people women my age hope. Like,
Speaker 1: you know, if you don't settle for all these idiots
Speaker 1: out there, the good one is going to come. And
Speaker 1: I mean for men and women alike, you know, and
Speaker 1: people who don't identify as either. It's like when you
Speaker 1: set the standard for yourself that the tide rises, And yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's true. One thing I've always wanted those,
Speaker 1: like what it's like to day a comedian. I don't
Speaker 1: think I have a could because I don't know, Like,
Speaker 1: what are the rules if you're dating a comedian, then
Speaker 1: who gets the jokes? Because at some point you're having
Speaker 1: a conversation, a brilliant premise comes up. Who gets it? Yeah? Well,
Speaker 1: I mean we're pretty good about sharing that, you know,
Speaker 1: And Joe is like, uh, he's not your typical comedian.
Speaker 1: He's very, very bright and cheerful and it's infectious, you know.
Speaker 1: He keeps everybody kind of up up. So I mean
Speaker 1: it's a lot to hands, especially for me because I'm
Speaker 1: such a sinister bitch. I'm like, well, but then after
Speaker 1: a while it wears off on you. You're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling pretty happy to these days. So we split
Speaker 1: the jokes, you know, like if he comes up with
Speaker 1: he sleeps with a c pat machine on his face,
Speaker 1: for instance, because he's sleep app yet, so he sleeps
Speaker 1: with the contraptions. Yeah, yeah, and I tried that. It
Speaker 1: was terrible. Oh do you have sleep app yet? No?
Speaker 1: I just tried the machine. It was just like a
Speaker 1: phase I was going through. I was just like, let's
Speaker 1: see how this goes. He sleeps with one of those on,
Speaker 1: and that's like it's like when he puts that on,
Speaker 1: it's like he is going into a submarine for the
Speaker 1: rest of the night. You know, it's out, see you later,
Speaker 1: see you in the morning. Yeah, there's no like romance
Speaker 1: with those things. There's no interruption of anything. It's like
Speaker 1: you're in life support the whole night and then wait,
Speaker 1: he's trying not to die. And then in the morning
Speaker 1: he wakes up to this. He's the work. So I
Speaker 1: told him, you know, I was like, listen, he said
Speaker 1: something about the way I sleep, and I said, listen,
Speaker 1: I'm going to bed with an octopus every single night,
Speaker 1: so why don't you go? And he he uses that
Speaker 1: in his stand up you know that because he talks
Speaker 1: about his sleep apnea. Apparently everybody's got sleep apney and
Speaker 1: most people don't know about it. So all these men
Speaker 1: out there, I understand it's a contraption and it's not hot.
Speaker 1: It's not, but I mean, if I'm sitting there sleeping
Speaker 1: with it every night, I bet you there's a lot
Speaker 1: more with think that's that's like the definition of love
Speaker 1: that's like true love is if you can see pep
Speaker 1: at night with the person next to you, then you
Speaker 1: know what's love, right exactly. You talk about everything in
Speaker 1: your stand up. I always envied that about you, to
Speaker 1: be honest, Like, I love how you just you share
Speaker 1: everything in your life. You'll you'll make jokes about it,
Speaker 1: you'll have fun with it. There's no barriers for you.
Speaker 1: I mean you even joked about you wanting to have
Speaker 1: sex with Andrew Cuomo and then like dealing with like
Speaker 1: him now being canceled, and also just like being found
Speaker 1: guilty of things, etcetera, etcetera. Like as Chelsea Handler, I
Speaker 1: would love to know where you got that confidence just
Speaker 1: to do that, Like where did that come from? Oh?
Speaker 1: Well thanks? I mean I have a lot of misplaced confidence.
Speaker 1: For a long time, I thought I could sing and
Speaker 1: dance until I tried off for the cheerleading squad and
Speaker 1: they tested me for scoliosis the next day. So I
Speaker 1: have a lot of confidence in areas until somebody flashes
Speaker 1: a big red light and says, don't do it. The
Speaker 1: Andrew Cuomo thing was very funny because when that didn't
Speaker 1: work out with you know, Andrew Cuomo, like he nothing
Speaker 1: ever happened between us, but I had a big, you know,
Speaker 1: loud crush on him. My sister's like, Mom is cock
Speaker 1: blocking you from heaven, and I go, really, that's what
Speaker 1: you think Mom is doing up in heaven, cock blocking me.
Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, you need to be cock blocked by
Speaker 1: these people. And then yeah, she's like, if you were
Speaker 1: with Andrew Cuomo, you would have never met Joe Koy.
Speaker 1: She's like, Mom's at work up there. I like this. Um,
Speaker 1: you're on tour. It's still happening. You've won the award
Speaker 1: for it over me, congratulations. Um No, I'm not angry.
Speaker 1: I'm just better. Better. I think it's the time of
Speaker 1: the tragedy has not passed yet for me because I
Speaker 1: just found out about it. You set down, Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is a horrible time for me to find out. So
Speaker 1: we've got the tour, you got the Grammy nomination. What
Speaker 1: are you looking forward to. I've been really enjoying being
Speaker 1: on the road for this tour. It's been It's so
Speaker 1: great to be a reason, as you will know, to
Speaker 1: bring people back together for the very first time, to
Speaker 1: remind people about togetherness and humanity and you know, not
Speaker 1: focus on the politics of everything right now, because I'm
Speaker 1: so exhausted by all of that too. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: everyone is. Everyone's sick of it. Everyone's sick of me
Speaker 1: hearing and talking about it, and people are sick of
Speaker 1: talking about it. So it's been nice to have like
Speaker 1: a celebratory fun, you know, making fun of all the
Speaker 1: behavior we all got up to during COVID, which was
Speaker 1: seriously embarrassing. I mean I was winning you embarrassed. I
Speaker 1: was windexing my food, my takeout food for about three
Speaker 1: I didn't get COVID, but I probably have cancer. Well,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you this, it's always a pleasure having you.
Speaker 1: I think this is the fifth time I've had you
Speaker 1: on the show. Congratulates on love, congratulations and all the success,
Speaker 1: and I hope to see you again for the next one. Thanks,
Speaker 1: thank you very much, all right people. Tickets for Chelsea's
Speaker 1: Vaccinated and Horny Tour are available at Chelsea handler dot com.
Speaker 1: What's the Daily Show weeknights at eleven tenth Central on
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