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Speaker 1: Two hopeless one dating app then dares you swipe right.

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Speaker 1: The question is whose love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 2: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 3: It's the dating game show that strongly encouraged Aladdin to

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Speaker 3: Scotch guard that magic carpet, but he didn't listen the

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Speaker 3: Tender Dates, where two of our listeners go head to

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Speaker 3: head to find out whose dating life is the most tragic.

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Speaker 3: We'll explain the rules in just a second, but first

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Speaker 3: let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, his seductive party

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Speaker 3: trick is d shelling an entire lobster inside of his mouth. WHOA, yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's why the ladies call him seafood trio Leo.

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Speaker 4: Hey, what the guard that?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, but hope nobody's allergic to shellfish.

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Speaker 3: And in the other corner, he swears he has a

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Speaker 3: sick motorcycle park to just outside.

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Speaker 2: It's just invisible, right, Meet Harley, Charlie.

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Speaker 5: Hey, Hey, how's you going?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Hey, you don't need to wear a helmet on that bike, Charlie.

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Speaker 2: He needed game works.

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Speaker 3: One contestant is going to start by telling one of

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Speaker 3: their worst dating stories. Then the other will try and

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Speaker 3: counter with the nightmare story of their own. We're going

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Speaker 3: back and forth for three rounds till we declare a winner.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna start things off with you seafood trio Leo.

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Speaker 2: Let's go all right.

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Speaker 4: So I was hooking up with this chick. We were

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Speaker 4: making out when she stopped. She told me that she

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Speaker 4: saw a bald spot on the back of my head.

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Speaker 3: Oh oh, how could she see the back of your

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Speaker 3: head when you're making out?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: They melted then, I don't know, some weird stuff, man,

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Speaker 2: go on.

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Speaker 4: She said that meant that i'd be bald by thirty,

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Speaker 4: and she doesn't date bald guys. So she left.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, my friend, I'm sorry. I don't old guys.

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Speaker 2: And one day you're gonna be seventy. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if it was maybe just an excuse

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Speaker 4: to leave, but ever since I've been buying special hair product.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's all right.

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Speaker 3: She gave you a complex, but you know you may

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Speaker 3: have sicker hair because of it.

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Speaker 2: Charlie, can you count her?

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Speaker 1: So we were at the movies right for our first date.

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Speaker 1: Everything going smooth. Her phone accidentity went off. Yeah, the

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Speaker 1: screen lights up and I can see my tender profile.

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Speaker 5: Like her wallpaper on her.

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Speaker 2: Phone your picture.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, first date though, let's keep in mind.

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Speaker 2: Maybe she just needs it as a reminder what your

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Speaker 2: name is?

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Speaker 4: Quick?

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Speaker 5: That was super ugly?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, round two, Leo, Time to hit back.

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Speaker 4: I met this smoking hot lady who's a spinning instructor,

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Speaker 4: and you know, spin in structors are always smoke shows.

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Speaker 4: And she invites me to her class. So I show

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Speaker 4: up as she puts me in the front row, which

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Speaker 4: is intimidating enough as it is. Yeah, and then five

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Speaker 4: minutes in she comes over and sets my bike on

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Speaker 4: the highest resistance and tells me if she sees me

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Speaker 4: turn it down, it's over between her man challenge.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, at what point in the class did

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Speaker 2: you just pass out?

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Speaker 4: I'm just standing up, trying to grind on this thing,

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Speaker 4: and I point at the door to distractor and turn

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Speaker 4: it down, and she caught me.

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Speaker 2: You're too weak for her.

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Speaker 5: She called me out.

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Speaker 4: In front of everyone over the microphone and told me

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Speaker 4: to get out.

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Speaker 3: Why does everybody you date like come after you, Charlie.

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Speaker 2: We're you got to step it up, man, all right?

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Speaker 1: So I was dropping this girl off after the day, right,

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Speaker 1: Everything was smooth I'm leaving to go home. She calls

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Speaker 1: me and she asked me to come inside. She says,

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Speaker 1: you know, she's scared to be alone. So I'm like cool,

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling like, you.

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Speaker 5: Know, this is my chance. I know what I'm talking about.

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Speaker 4: And on her part, I.

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Speaker 1: Go back inside when I gets a man did whoa what? Wait?

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Speaker 2: Like her roommate or something.

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Speaker 1: Please tell me.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: She sneaks and tells me he didn't know he was

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Speaker 1: in there. It was her boyfriend. He got back home

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Speaker 1: early from his trip.

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Speaker 2: Oh what a jerk coming back home early. I hate

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Speaker 2: that guy.

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Speaker 3: Let's get to your third and final round. We need

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Speaker 3: you to really throw down here, gentlemen.

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Speaker 2: So seafood Trio leo, what do you got?

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Speaker 4: My tender Day invited me to go furniture testing testing.

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Speaker 4: I'm thinking she wants to check couches out or something.

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Speaker 4: You know, Okay, yeah.

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Speaker 2: You got to sit on them before you buy it.

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Speaker 4: You just never know, maybe a little love seat or something.

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Speaker 4: But no, no, no, no. We get to the store

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Speaker 4: and I found out she meant baby furniture testing because

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Speaker 4: she's eight months pregnant.

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Speaker 3: Oh amazing that she has the energy for me for that.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, She's like, I'm so glad you hear My

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Speaker 2: back hurts.

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Speaker 4: It gets worse, it gets way worse. Looking for a

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Speaker 4: crib and asked if I could crawl into one to

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Speaker 4: let her know if the baby would be comfortable.

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Speaker 2: How big of a baby is she planning on having?

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Speaker 4: Or how.

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Speaker 2: Can't ride a bike.

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Speaker 3: To act like a baby, Harley Jarl Chance Boy.

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Speaker 1: We was in that one of those outdoor restaurants, you know,

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Speaker 1: you sit outside and just relaxed. It was a beautiful

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Speaker 1: day I'm talking about. It was just perfect. She was beautiful,

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Speaker 1: the date was cool, everything was small.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 5: A bird pooped on my date's.

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Speaker 3: Head, sounding good luck though, yeah, it's people just say

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Speaker 3: that to make you feel.

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Speaker 2: Better what she do.

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Speaker 1: So she seemed upset at first, right, and I told her,

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Speaker 1: you know, like we could just we could just leave,

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Speaker 1: you know, and just end it off. But she told

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Speaker 1: me that her therapist encouraged her to start to face adversity, you.

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Speaker 5: Know, and be tough and deal with things.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, So we.

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Speaker 5: Sat there for another half hour.

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Speaker 1: She tried to eat, but she was crying, not coming

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Speaker 1: out with the bird poop still on the hay.

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Speaker 2: She didn't clean it all.

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Speaker 5: All right.

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Speaker 2: That final ball means the match is over. This was

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Speaker 2: an intense one. Judges, we gotta score at Alexis.

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Speaker 3: I gotta go.

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Speaker 2: Leo for crawling into Baby Crab. We got one for Leo. Brooke,

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Speaker 2: I mean bird poop Girl. I feel bad for her,

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Speaker 2: but it's definitely Leo.

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Speaker 3: Congratulations Seapoo Trio. Leo, You're dating life is messier than

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Speaker 3: a cafeteria on Sloppy Joe Day.

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Speaker 2: I think he's crying just being nice to me. Bullied

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Speaker 2: once again.

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Speaker 3: That was Battle of the tender dates. We got your

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Speaker 3: phone tap coming up right after this