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Speaker 1: Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebine, a space where no

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Speaker 1: question is off limits and storylines become lifelines. The views

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Speaker 1: shared by our guests are meant to inform, entertain and empower.

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Speaker 1: From the laughs to the lessons. Just remember, tough times

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Speaker 1: don't last, but Professional Homegirls do enjoy the show.

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Speaker 2: Happy New Year, Professional Homegirls is Shagary Ebine here and

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Speaker 2: I hope all is cute. Now, welcome back to the

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Speaker 2: very first episode of the year. And it is a

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Speaker 2: good one, okay, and it's from our men series. This week,

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Speaker 2: I'm Pretty Private with Ebine. I'm sitting down with Pretty Brendeo.

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Speaker 2: He opens up about his journey from the lowest moments

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Speaker 2: of a feedinol addiction to reclaim in his life. We

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Speaker 2: talk about what addiction really looks like, the moments that

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Speaker 2: almost broke him, and what it's said to finally choose

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Speaker 2: himself in his future. Now listen, this was one of

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Speaker 2: those raw, honest conversations that we love that will remind

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Speaker 2: you just how powerful redemption and second chances truly are.

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Speaker 2: So get ready because I was addicted to feedinl stars. Now,

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Speaker 2: So to my guests, thank you so much for coming

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Speaker 2: on the show. How you doing, how you feeling.

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Speaker 3: I'm doing good? Thank you for having me. Bonnie. Then

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Speaker 3: my name e Bannie. No, sorry, at I'm.

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Speaker 2: Gonna be that in so people can hear you butcher

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Speaker 2: in my name.

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Speaker 4: I wasn't trying to butcher you. So what you gotta

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Speaker 4: remember I'm a n immigrant.

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Speaker 2: So don't use that one.

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Speaker 3: Come on, That's all I got Right now.

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Speaker 2: You've been in the States long enough I have Where

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Speaker 2: are you from?

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Speaker 4: I'm from a small country in the west coast of

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Speaker 4: Africa called Cape Verge. Most people it's never heard of it.

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Speaker 4: It's time island population about half a million. There is

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Speaker 4: more of us immigrated outside of Cape Verde than there

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Speaker 4: is living.

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Speaker 3: For you know, for the culture.

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Speaker 4: One person that people would probably know Amba Roses have

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Speaker 4: Cape Verdian.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, yeah, okay. And then but I also

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Speaker 2: feel like you used to live in Boston.

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Speaker 3: Too, right, That's so that's where we immigrate to. Okay,

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Speaker 3: like we have we we.

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Speaker 4: Have our nightclubs there, we have our restaurants. We we

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Speaker 4: even have politicians. Uh there's a city in Brockton, which

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Speaker 4: is in Massachusetts close to Boston, just elected as first

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Speaker 4: Cape Verdian mayor. We have a lot of great Cape

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Speaker 4: Verdian policemen in the Boston Police Force. Yeah, we have

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Speaker 4: a whole community there. We have our supermarkets. It's just

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Speaker 4: like how you would see. I don't know Trinidaddy is

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Speaker 4: in New York.

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Speaker 3: In New York, you know, I think.

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Speaker 2: They would go to Boston. I didn't know that. So

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Speaker 2: that's something new.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's where they immigrated. And it goes back to

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Speaker 4: the whaling industry. So late eighteen hundred, early nineteen hundreds.

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Speaker 2: Oh what lit, Yes, history fact every time you're on

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Speaker 2: the show. So look at that.

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Speaker 3: You learned something new every day, every show.

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Speaker 2: Every show. Well, I'm happy to having you on. I

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Speaker 2: discover your story. I think I found you on Instagram

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Speaker 2: and then I just went down a rabbit hole and

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Speaker 2: then he was lokey curving.

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Speaker 4: Me, y'all.

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Speaker 2: So I have to like follow up and be professional.

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Speaker 4: I'm just fucking but yeah, I if I could defend myself,

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Speaker 4: I will, So let me know when I can defend myself.

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Speaker 2: I's sorry the thing yourself.

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Speaker 3: So I was not curving you.

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Speaker 2: I know you wasn't.

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Speaker 4: I'm just like, I get tons of people reaching out

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Speaker 4: for me to you know, get interviewed and this and

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Speaker 4: this and that and the third, and sometimes I miss it,

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Speaker 4: and sometimes I like I just did one like some

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Speaker 4: popular guy or famous guy or some rapper. I want

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Speaker 4: the message to be out there. So the last I

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Speaker 4: think sit down I had was probably a few months back.

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Speaker 4: So I wanted to sit down. I wanted that interview

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Speaker 4: to sit down for a little bit, yeah, until I come.

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Speaker 4: But then when I when I saw yours, I saw

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Speaker 4: it was more mental health based.

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Speaker 3: I said, okay, we could go somewhere with that. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, he didn't carve y'all. And I'm also very persistent,

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Speaker 2: so I figured he was busy. And it also it's

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Speaker 2: the holiday season, so I didn't think we was going

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Speaker 2: to be able to do this conversation this soon. But

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Speaker 2: here we are. So thank you so much, thank you.

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Speaker 3: So much, thank you for having me.

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Speaker 2: Of course, so when you look at what's happening right

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Speaker 2: now with the OPIOI crisis, what stands out the most

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Speaker 2: to you?

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Speaker 4: What stands out to me the most is Purdue Pharma.

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Speaker 4: M So, when I don't know how many how much

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Speaker 4: people is educated with Purdue Pharma, but they introduce and

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Speaker 4: the rap culture. This is what you would hear perks,

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Speaker 4: oxy blues. It's all the same thing. Perdue Pharma came

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Speaker 4: through to uneducated people with fraudulent like labs saying that

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Speaker 4: it's non addictive, and they just kept pushing it and

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Speaker 4: pushing and pushing it. And it does do what it

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Speaker 4: says that it do. It cures pain, right, but there

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Speaker 4: was a part that they left out that it's very addictive.

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Speaker 4: And everything that you see that's going on in America

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Speaker 4: right now with the opioid crisis, Perdue Pharma is to blame.

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Speaker 4: I know there's going to be some other people that says, well,

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Speaker 4: I need my pain medication, and it's because of the

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Speaker 4: junkies that it's so controlled now now it's harder for

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Speaker 4: me to get my pain medication. No greed is why

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Speaker 4: you can't get your pain medication because the Feds. Once

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Speaker 4: the Feds saw what was happening, they came down and

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Speaker 4: cracked down. And that's what you have today. The black

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Speaker 4: market was created and that's where you see the fentannel,

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Speaker 4: the fake perks and all that because the FED was like, WHOA,

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Speaker 4: what is happening. So the mess that we have today

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Speaker 4: Perdue pharma, that's the first thing that comes to mind,

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Speaker 4: and there's actually for anyone that wants to be a

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Speaker 4: little bit more educated with it. There's a lot of

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Speaker 4: documentary on it. You could just do some research and

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Speaker 4: you could have a better understanding on why that's the

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Speaker 4: first thing that comes to mind.

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Speaker 2: Did you ever watch that show on Hulu? I think

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Speaker 2: it was Michael Keaton was in it. He was a

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Speaker 2: doctor and at first he wanted to prescribe people with

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Speaker 2: the medication because he was like, I don't know, I

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Speaker 2: just don't feel right, and then he ended up getting

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Speaker 2: hooked on it, and then they went down and Rabbit Hope.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying about.

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Speaker 4: I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, that show

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Speaker 4: explains it perfect. And you can see how the sales

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Speaker 4: rep for Purdue Pharma was so persistent.

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Speaker 3: Crazy.

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Speaker 4: You know, whenever finances is involved, greed comes in and

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Speaker 4: people neglect.

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Speaker 3: Health and they just want to pay attention to their

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Speaker 3: bank account.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And then look at what Art country is going through

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Speaker 3: right going through right now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And then there was another documentary on Netflix where

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Speaker 2: they had like pill farms and stuff, and they with

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Speaker 2: some like counterfeit pills and stuff, and I'm like, Wow, Like,

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Speaker 2: this is crazy.

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Speaker 4: That's how I got introduced to fentanyl. I know, I

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Speaker 4: just went so far so quick, but I got introduced

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Speaker 4: to fentanyl through a counterfit perk.

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Speaker 3: Hmmm.

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Speaker 2: So why do you think we're gonna talk about it later?

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Speaker 2: Because I want to jump too far ahead. But why

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Speaker 2: do you think so many people don't realize they being

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Speaker 2: exposed to phenenol until it's too late.

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Speaker 4: Well, the thing is, the FEDS cracked down on oxy

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Speaker 4: codon perks. There's so much name for it, right, and

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Speaker 4: then what happens is a black market was created, and

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Speaker 4: then they are selling counterfeits. It's like you trying to

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Speaker 4: go to this the Giants game and you're trying to

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Speaker 4: get tickets, and you buy your ticket and then you

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Speaker 4: get to the door you just find out you bought

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Speaker 4: fake tickets and all of a sudden, like, oh shoot,

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Speaker 4: I'm in trouble. It's the same concept people got blinded.

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Speaker 4: I want to say, this is a hypothesis. Eighty percent

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Speaker 4: of people that sound fentanyl didn't get on it by

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Speaker 4: trying fentanyl intentionally.

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Speaker 3: It was all by mistake.

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Speaker 4: I think, yeah, I agree with that, because what is

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Speaker 4: so appealing about someone in the middle of the street

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Speaker 4: like this. But then there's nothing appealing about that, right,

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Speaker 4: there's absolutely nothing appealing about it.

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Speaker 2: You also have a conspiracy theory that you feel like

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Speaker 2: the naws coming from China. China is responsible for it.

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Speaker 4: China is definitely responsible for it, but I feel that

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Speaker 4: China is using fentanyl as a weapon of war. It's again,

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Speaker 4: it's a conspiracy theory. I don't have much to back

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Speaker 4: it up. It's just a hypothesis of minds. But you

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Speaker 4: go back in history and you see what America did

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Speaker 4: to China back in the days. China was actually hooked

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Speaker 4: on heron because of America, and I believe China does

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Speaker 4: not forget. So they played the long game. And then

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Speaker 4: if you pay attention to the two type of people

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Speaker 4: that hate American American laws is.

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Speaker 3: China and the cartels.

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Speaker 4: So China is providing the cartel with the stuff to

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Speaker 4: make the fentanyl because they couldn't get it continue getting

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Speaker 4: it straight directly into America, so they got it through

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Speaker 4: Mexico and then you know, so that's how it's getting here.

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Speaker 2: I would say my conspiracy theory about this is I

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Speaker 2: don't think it would have been a big deal if

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Speaker 2: it didn't hit other races. I think that if this

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Speaker 2: would have stayed with certain races, I think that they

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Speaker 2: probably wouldn't have been I don't think that they would have.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that they would have gained so much

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Speaker 2: support like they're given now because I think of opio

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Speaker 2: like the crack epondemic. Crack only affected certain people, right

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Speaker 2: but now we have this new drug and it's affecting everybody,

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Speaker 2: and now it's a big deal. But drugs should be

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Speaker 2: a big deal, period, no.

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Speaker 4: Correct, And the whole race thing, it's very sensitive. It's

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Speaker 4: something that you know, I've heard a lot of people

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Speaker 4: saying saying these things, like when it was the black

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Speaker 4: community strung out on crack, y'all.

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Speaker 3: Was throwing them in jail.

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Speaker 4: Right now that it's affecting beyond the African American community,

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Speaker 4: this seems to be more like people's paying more attention.

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Speaker 4: Crack was not killing people fentanyl is I think Boozy

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Speaker 4: said it. He was like crackhead was not dying.

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Speaker 2: I mean a lot of people that I do know.

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Speaker 4: He was like Crackhead was fixing your cars. There was

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Speaker 4: getting you stuff for cheap. He was like fetanol addicts,

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Speaker 4: they're dropping like fly, So for me would I would

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Speaker 4: go more towards that it's life and death, where crack

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Speaker 4: was probably just creating more crimes. True, fentanyl is you

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Speaker 4: know how many future soldiers, future doctors, future sports people,

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Speaker 4: future teachers that are no longer here with us. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: when you have people dying at the level that fentanyl

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Speaker 4: is killing people, people is going to pay attention. And

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Speaker 4: I like to believe that race has nothing to do

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Speaker 4: with it because how many people was dropping like flies

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Speaker 4: in Harlem in the nineteen seventies in the crack epidemic.

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Speaker 2: I mean, people were dying, but they wasn't dying as

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Speaker 2: rapidly as people on phenoen That's.

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Speaker 4: My argument to why I think it's not solely focused

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Speaker 4: on race.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, pretty you want that one. Okay, So take

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Speaker 2: me back to where you grew up, Like, tell me

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Speaker 2: about your environment, your your household, your siblings, Like what

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Speaker 2: was that?

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Speaker 4: Like, I mean, so I was born in Campana, Cape Verge.

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Speaker 4: You probably don't know. No one's going to know what

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Speaker 4: that is. So I want you to imagine a village

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Speaker 4: in the mountains of Cape Verge, no running water, no electricity,

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Speaker 4: live off the land. So many uncles, aunts, in the house,

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Speaker 4: just not knowing what poverty is because you're not going

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Speaker 4: your stomach is not going without you have nothing to

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Speaker 4: compare it to. So it was just so peaceful and

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Speaker 4: so much love. Like the crop season, the whole village

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Speaker 4: comes together and they plant their whatever they got a

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Speaker 4: plant weather it's corn, beans, peanuts, mango, everything, and you

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Speaker 4: just live off the land. And then the dream and

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Speaker 4: like the fairy tale was immigrate to America, right, and

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Speaker 4: then you would have the elders that already had immigrated

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Speaker 4: to Americas and they would send drums on the boats.

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Speaker 4: So that's what America was to us. You would see

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Speaker 4: a piece of new clothing, new sneakers that you've never seen.

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Speaker 4: I mean at the time, Cape Verd was a Third

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Speaker 4: World country. So in a village, probably one house had

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Speaker 4: television and then you would have thirty people go sit

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Speaker 4: and watch the news or something like that very closely.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, I have memories dating back to maybe when

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Speaker 4: I was three years old. I had a pet, a goat,

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Speaker 4: a baby goat as a pet. And when people would

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Speaker 4: uh that has immigrated out of the country. When they

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Speaker 4: would come back to visit the village, people would feast

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Speaker 4: for them, and I remember I could not find my

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Speaker 4: baby goat pet and then they ate it.

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Speaker 3: They ate my.

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Speaker 4: Baby goat pet to where I will never eat. I'm

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Speaker 4: traumatized anything that falls under that category, I would. The

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Speaker 4: smell of it just traumatized me.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, heartbreaking. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So my grandfather immigrated very early on, and he you know,

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Speaker 4: took care of his kids back home and his grandkids.

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Speaker 4: In my village. We were one of the first house

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Speaker 4: to have I have a bathroom with like toilet, bathtub

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Speaker 4: and everything everything else that we did.

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Speaker 3: We would shower on the roof of the house out

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Speaker 3: of a bucket.

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Speaker 4: And then when you need to use the restroom. I

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Speaker 4: remember being a kid, you go into the field and

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Speaker 4: you know there was no toilet paper. You know, you

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Speaker 4: would use a leaf or a rock. I have the

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Speaker 4: memory leaf or a rock.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you use a rock to rip you I did,

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Speaker 5: and you got all the shit out? Yes, Wow, yeah

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Speaker 5: I have. That's why I appreciate Ammerica so much, because.

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Speaker 4: To be able to come from that and have memory

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Speaker 4: of that, yeah, and then to be able to place

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Speaker 4: where I can say, Alexa, play little Wayne, and it just.

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Speaker 3: Proof it goes on.

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Speaker 4: How could you not appreciate hard work, right, how could

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Speaker 4: you not appreciate growth?

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Speaker 2: I would to use a leaf like a rock is

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Speaker 2: like different, you know, so yeah, I mean it definitely

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Speaker 2: makes you appreciate where you come from. But then also

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Speaker 2: it makes you kind of miss those beginners because everything

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Speaker 2: was just so simple, you know, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, everything was so simple back then.

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Speaker 2: Wow. So there was also a situation where he was

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Speaker 2: growing up there something traumatic happened to one of your siblings.

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Speaker 3: Yes, so that.

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Speaker 4: You fast forward, that's after I immigrated to America.

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Speaker 3: And but how was that?

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Speaker 2: Were you nervous coming to America or you?

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Speaker 4: Because so you got to remember I was about seven

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Speaker 4: years old, and in the mind of a seven year

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Speaker 4: old America it was like paradise in my head. Yeah, right,

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Speaker 4: it was paradise because even when the people would go

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Speaker 4: back to visit, their skin tone change. Yah, there wear

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Speaker 4: these new clothes and everyone in the villages like showing

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Speaker 4: so much life. So being a kid, it was like

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Speaker 4: you go into paradise.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And then I remember from my island, to go from

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Speaker 4: Fogo to Praya, I mean, the plane must have been

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Speaker 4: like a fifteen passenger plane to where you go to

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Speaker 4: the US Embassy because my grandfather petitioned for all of

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Speaker 4: us to come. So you would have to go through

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Speaker 4: like doctors do all the tests to make sure, you know,

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Speaker 4: you don't have anything that would prevent you from entering

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Speaker 4: a country like America. So and then after all that

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Speaker 4: it was done, and then South Africa Airline boying in

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Speaker 4: a seven year old and it's like wow, right, oh

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Speaker 4: my god. It was two floors and the flight attendant

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Speaker 4: automatically knew my first time that I'm immigrating.

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Speaker 3: And then to take a.

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Speaker 4: Kid that I played with scraps from whatever those was

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Speaker 4: my toys, right, and then to take me to the

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Speaker 4: cockpit of a plane like that.

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Speaker 3: So it was like wow. It was just wow. Was like.

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Speaker 4: The whole thing, the whole experience, everything about America was wow.

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Speaker 4: And this is American the nineties, right, This is not

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Speaker 4: America of today.

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Speaker 3: You know, America of the nineties.

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Speaker 4: One paycheck, you go so far, you know, you can

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Speaker 4: do a lot with right. So my family created I

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Speaker 4: don't want to say the word wealth, but they created

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Speaker 4: a good financial financial stability or foundation. You know, most

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Speaker 4: eighty or ninety percent of my uncles and aunts that

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Speaker 4: immigrated our homeowners and they've built their homes back back

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Speaker 4: in our country to where now we live in the cities,

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Speaker 4: and we have vacation houses and all these things.

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Speaker 2: You know, when you went to America was like the

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Speaker 2: entire family, or where's your mom and them already over there.

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Speaker 4: So what happened is my grandfather came first, and then

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Speaker 4: he petitioned for my grandmother, and the first in line

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Speaker 4: who was able to come with the grandmother was my

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Speaker 4: uncle and aunts that were under twenty one.

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Speaker 3: So who stayed back in Cape verd was my.

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Speaker 4: Mom, my two uncles, and one of my other aunts.

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Speaker 4: Because there was already of age. So when you're already

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Speaker 4: of age, that petition takes longer. It could take five

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Speaker 4: to ten years.

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Speaker 2: Oh damn, that's long.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. So so when I immigrated, it was me, my mother,

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Speaker 4: my uncle, two of my uncles, and one of my

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Speaker 4: aunts and one of my cousin, Vanilda, and we came

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Speaker 4: to reunite with the younger siblings that was already here.

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Speaker 4: They might have been here, I don't know, maybe five years.

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Speaker 4: And then so I want you to imagine this, right

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Speaker 4: three Decca in Boston and my uncle Antonio, he had

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Speaker 4: purchased a home because he knew he was all coming

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Speaker 4: on each floor. You have an aunt or an uncle

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Speaker 4: and just so much love like that nineties that we

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Speaker 4: will never get. And you know the doorbell ringing and

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Speaker 4: you're not knowing who it is, but it's probably someone

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Speaker 4: coming over to.

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Speaker 3: Visit, just so much.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you could just feel the love so immigrating to

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Speaker 4: America from Cape Verde, it's it's it's it's a dream

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Speaker 4: come true.

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Speaker 2: What's up, y'all? It's Chagara m and A here, and

359
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 2: be sure to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at

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Speaker 2: pretty private podcasts, and don't forget to subscribe to my

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Speaker 2: YouTube channel at the Professional Homegirl. Now let's get back

362
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Speaker 2: to the show. But did you have a hard time

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Speaker 2: on Justin once you got to Boston?

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Speaker 4: Well, you got I was seven years old, so I'm

365
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Speaker 4: so young. The brain a child's brain adapted dimester. It's

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Speaker 4: still developing. That's why when people when I tell people

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Speaker 4: that English is not my first language, and like what

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Speaker 4: because I don't they don't. I don't have an accent

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Speaker 4: of like a person that immigrated from you know, Cape Verd, Africa,

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Speaker 4: I don't, you know, So it was not that challenging

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Speaker 4: where I have aunts that immigrated in nineteen ninety five

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Speaker 4: with me that can't carry a conversation in English. There

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Speaker 4: was already probably like thirty years old, and they went

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Speaker 4: straight into factory work.

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Speaker 3: But they're homeowners and so you know the American dream.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So talk about your because I know your

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Speaker 2: brother passed away when you were sixteen, right.

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Speaker 4: Yes, So that's when I had moved from New York.

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Speaker 4: I used to live in New York with my uncle.

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Speaker 4: He's a bishop, Bishop Angelo Barbosa. His church is the

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Speaker 4: Temple of Restoration. It's all around Brooklyn, Queens. I think

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00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 4: every borough is. Dree's a temple. He has cathedrals and stuff.

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Speaker 4: And I had moved from New York back to Boston

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Speaker 4: and my brother Damien was like one years old, and

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Speaker 4: my mom had just moved into that apartment, and so

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Speaker 4: the furniture hadn't gotten there yet. So we had placed

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Speaker 4: the television on top of a my gravestand and then

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00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 4: we got comforters and put it on the floor and

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Speaker 4: we were just watching TV. And you got to remember

390
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 4: back this is probably like two thousand and three, maybe

391
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Speaker 4: two thousand and four, So you're dealing with cable so

392
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 4: cable wire was all around the house. And then my

393
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 4: brother Damien was playing with it, and then he was

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Speaker 4: just learning to walk, and then he was like trying

395
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Speaker 4: to press the button on the TV and the TV

396
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,760
Speaker 4: fell down and hit his chest and the cable box

397
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Speaker 4: hit his head. So again I could talk about it

398
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Speaker 4: so opening now. And yeah, because I processed in therapy.

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Speaker 4: You know, I believe therapy is the best medicine.

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Speaker 2: Anyone I know agree therapy changed my life. Yeah, I

401
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Speaker 2: always advocate for therapy mm hm.

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Speaker 3: Where before it was so hard for me to talk

403
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Speaker 3: about this.

404
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Speaker 4: Up until five years ago, I couldn't talk about watching

405
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Speaker 4: my one year old brother die right in.

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Speaker 3: Front of me.

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Speaker 4: And then when you show up to Sears to go

408
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Speaker 4: pick up the pictures that you took for his one

409
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Speaker 4: year birthday, you're using it for funeral.

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Speaker 3: It was tough for me to talk about those things.

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Speaker 2: And I can only imagined during that time you probably

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Speaker 2: was You probably lost your faith.

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Speaker 4: That's when my beef with God started. Yeah, because I

414
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Speaker 4: was brought up in a bishop home. He didn't have

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Speaker 4: any kids at the time, so I was the first

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Speaker 4: kid of the church. You know how the black churches,

417
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Speaker 4: everything is like under microscope when you're the bishop's family.

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Speaker 3: My dream was to be a pastor like my uncle.

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Speaker 4: And when I moved back to Boston, even because he

420
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Speaker 4: didn't die right away, they took him to the hospital,

421
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 4: there was running a lot of surgeries and I would

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Speaker 4: go down in the chapel. I was fasting and I'm like,

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Speaker 4: you know, this is just God testing my faith and

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Speaker 4: all these things. And when this thing happened, you like

425
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Speaker 4: looking at Homie upstairs.

426
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Speaker 2: Like like how could you let this happen?

427
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 4: Like how could you that this happened? You're blaming God,

428
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Speaker 4: not understanding. You know, God works in mysterious ways, and

429
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Speaker 4: who am I to question God?

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Speaker 3: But try tell him that.

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Speaker 4: To a sixteen year old, that was like, now God

432
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Speaker 4: is testing my faith, right, We're going to get through this.

433
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Speaker 4: I'm gonna you know, he's going to see that I'm praying,

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Speaker 4: I'm fasting, and we're going to get through this.

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Speaker 2: And that'd be the hard part when you go through

436
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Speaker 2: some shit like you be thinking like I gotta do this,

437
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Speaker 2: like I do that, and then when you don't get the

438
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Speaker 2: results so that I'll call it. He's supposed to get

439
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Speaker 2: Oh man gets you.

440
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 3: Hard and what Oh it scars you. Yeah, it scars

441
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 3: you facts.

442
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 2: Facts. So is that when you started to do, like

443
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 2: get into the drug gang because I know one of

444
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 2: your interviews you were saying how you had like an

445
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,160
Speaker 2: infectuation where like drug does or just the lifestyle.

446
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:47,960
Speaker 3: So Lil Wayne was my god.

447
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,880
Speaker 2: M hmm, what's your favorite little Wyne song?

448
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 4: Ah? What? It was all the like the song from

449
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 4: the mixtapes. It's been so long, but like the drought,

450
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 4: what was those bigstape name?

451
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 3: Look at that. It sound like I'm a bad fan,

452
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 3: like a bad fan now.

453
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 2: A card three, card two.

454
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 4: It was the drought, the whole mixtape era when him

455
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 4: and Joel Santana and all that.

456
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 2: The more mhmm you listen to him, the more.

457
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:26,120
Speaker 3: No, I've not that. I don't listen to him anymore.

458
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 2: The music not hidden.

459
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 3: Stuff's change.

460
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:35,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, uh, I mean every now and then

461
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 4: I'll throw a little Wayne song on and then ollivant.

462
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 4: Notice the way I'm driving starts to change, you know

463
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:43,640
Speaker 4: what I mean?

464
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 2: The energy coming right?

465
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, It's like if I listen to NBA Young Boy,

466
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 4: I catch myself shooting a gun that I don't own.

467
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,160
Speaker 3: Right, you see, what I'm saying.

468
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 2: That's a fact.

469
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 4: Music has so much influence on us that I'm not

470
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 4: here blaming Wayne at all to how my life went.

471
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 3: You see what I'm saying.

472
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 4: You know, he he did his music and it's up

473
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 4: to the person to digest it. He was telling his story.

474
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:16,239
Speaker 4: He was not sitting here telling me, pretty, go do this,

475
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 4: so go do that. But you know, Wayne had a

476
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 4: big inspiration into the way I started to party, and

477
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 4: you know, like I got into it. So I always

478
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:35,439
Speaker 4: tell people I'm far from a gangster, but I'm a

479
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 4: real street nigga.

480
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,679
Speaker 2: Excuse my French, you know, because I say nigga too,

481
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 2: so we can say nigga.

482
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know your audience and all that, so,

483
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:50,280
Speaker 4: you know, respectful as possible. You know, I was never

484
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 4: the dude that's gonna go pick up a gun and

485
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 4: ride out on anyone. But I'm gonna, like I'm gonna

486
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 4: run up a bag. And if i feel like I'm

487
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 4: paying too much in Boston for weed, this is when

488
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,679
Speaker 4: we're going back like Purple Hayes days, you know, the

489
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 4: weed where it was like six k a pound.

490
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 3: Do you understand what I'm saying?

491
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:17,960
Speaker 4: Right, So you figure out if you could go to Miami,

492
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 4: because Miami was like.

493
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 3: The hub for the for the Purple Hayes era, and

494
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 3: you could.

495
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 4: Link up with a plug over there and you could

496
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:30,439
Speaker 4: get it for whatever thirty two and then down ninety

497
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 4: five ninety five and double up. So I got heavy

498
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 4: into that, you know, I started moving weed heavily, and

499
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 4: then I got into the you know, people might say

500
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,440
Speaker 4: I'm a hypocrite, but I started pushing the perk thirties

501
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 4: as well.

502
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 3: In Miami. That's where the pill mill was at.

503
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 4: You know, you get a doctor to write your aus

504
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 4: script and you start to figure these things out. So

505
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 4: I just got money fast, and I was moving one

506
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 4: hundred miles an hour in the nightclub. This is when

507
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:12,280
Speaker 4: true religion was like the only gene I could touch

508
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 4: my body? What true religion genes? In the Polo t

509
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:25,960
Speaker 4: right yep and the Gucci bel You couldn't tell me anything.

510
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 4: And I'm in the club blowing blowing hell of money,

511
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying.

512
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 3: It was good times. It was definitely good times.

513
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 4: You know, mid two thousand was was was definitely good times.

514
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: So when did you start using parts? Like how were

515
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 2: you introduced to it?

516
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 4: I got into a motorcycle accident in two thousand and six,

517
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 4: and again I believe that America did not have the

518
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 4: knowledge then that they have today on the dangers of

519
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 4: the oxycodone. And the doctors I couldn't walk for six months.

520
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 4: They prescribed me oxy cotton, they prescribed me vicoins, they

521
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 4: prescribed me so much things, and then your body just

522
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 4: becomes immune to it to where if you don't.

523
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:21,960
Speaker 3: Have it, sure.

524
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:27,240
Speaker 4: You will sell your soul for the next pill. Right,

525
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 4: because what oxy cotton is? What again, You're gonna hear

526
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 4: me calling it different things, just because different people call

527
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:41,440
Speaker 4: it perks, oxy blues, perky, perky. It's all the same thing.

528
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 4: It's heroine in a pill form. And that's what Purdue

529
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 4: Pharma did not tell.

530
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 2: People, Right, So when did you what would you say?

531
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 2: When did you say when you start to become addicted

532
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 2: to it?

533
00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 4: I started to become addicted to perks, I want to say,

534
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 4: seven eight months after the accident, you know, but at

535
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 4: this point I'm deep into the street game. I'm moving

536
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 4: hell of perks.

537
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,280
Speaker 3: You know. A thousand used to call it a boat.

538
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 4: So I was moving four five six vowt a week,

539
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,400
Speaker 4: So you're not paying attention that you got an addiction,

540
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 4: because first of all, you don't consider it a drug.

541
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 3: It's a pill. I'm looking at it like it's.

542
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 4: Just a better tiler, know, or a better advil. So

543
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 4: you just you know, Little Wayne's coming through the speaker.

544
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:44,720
Speaker 4: I'm a pill popping pill and pill popping the animal.

545
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 3: And you're just going with nothing. Right, Yeah, you couldn't

546
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 3: tell me anything.

547
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 4: I'm a young twenty two, twenty three whatever at that time,

548
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 4: and I'm running up a bag.

549
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 2: What's the most money you made?

550
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 4: You know how people will exaggerate when you ask them

551
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 4: that question.

552
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 2: Oh d right, Nigga, I laid like nigga stopped.

553
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, for a young man like myself, I was definitely

554
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 4: playing with close to one hundred thousand around. You know

555
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 4: what I'm saying, you could be up about thirty forty

556
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 4: fifty thousand, and but you know then you can. I'm

557
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,640
Speaker 4: looking at it if you can make twenty five to

558
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 4: thirty thousand dollars a month back Inspire two thousand and eight,

559
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:42,240
Speaker 4: twenty ten, you know that's the type of money I

560
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 4: was touching. I was not no like Kinkpin running up

561
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 4: hundreds of thousands of dollars.

562
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 2: No, that's not a lot of money though for back

563
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 2: in the day.

564
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, for my age, I was definitely touching paper.

565
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:54,600
Speaker 3: I was.

566
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 4: I could go to a nightclub and drop four five

567
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:58,600
Speaker 4: thousand dollars and it didn't affect me.

568
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,680
Speaker 2: Right, So when you was out there pushing parks, did

569
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 2: you ever hear it? But about this time or no.

570
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 3: I didn't even know what that was. I didn't know

571
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 3: what that was.

572
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 2: So how were you introduced to it? I know you

573
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 2: say you've introduced to a counterfeit pill, but what was

574
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:15,920
Speaker 2: going on with the prescriptions at the other places that

575
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:16,959
Speaker 2: you wasn't able to get it?

576
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 4: So the fence cracked down on it. They saw that

577
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 4: America is strung out and they see where the problem came,

578
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 4: so they cracked down on scripts like for now, for

579
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 4: you to get again. I feel so bad for those

580
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,120
Speaker 4: people that needed the pills, and you know, they need

581
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 4: pill management.

582
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:38,000
Speaker 3: I am not to blame.

583
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:44,840
Speaker 4: They are the real victim here because they really need that.

584
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 4: And because of Purdue Pharma not letting the doctors knows

585
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 4: that this thing is so addictive and doctor, you go

586
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 4: to the er with a back pain, you can walk

587
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 4: out with with percocets.

588
00:33:58,720 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 2: How can you see pain?

589
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 3: You can't see pain, right, And I had a lot

590
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 3: of pain.

591
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 4: You know.

592
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 2: Wait, the rule was the guy you purchased the pills wrong,

593
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 2: Like did.

594
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 3: You start once?

595
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,359
Speaker 4: Once the pill mail in Miami shut down, you start

596
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 4: dealing with connects, right, and they get in it. They

597
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 4: get in it whether whatever, however they're doing it. One

598
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 4: day I just got a badge and the stuff looked similar.

599
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,959
Speaker 4: You're not thinking. But when I took it, I got

600
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:34,799
Speaker 4: super high. And then my body rejected it instantly, But

601
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 4: I got super high. I really enjoyed that high that

602
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 4: I didn't want that high to go away. And then

603
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 4: you know, you just continue going going. And then the

604
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,799
Speaker 4: next time I bought more like probably I don't know

605
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 4: another two thousand, because I was still shaking, and I

606
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:55,839
Speaker 4: did it. It didn't take my pain away. I did

607
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,720
Speaker 4: two three four. I remember one day I was coming

608
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:02,280
Speaker 4: from Stoat and driving back into Brockton. Within the spam

609
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 4: of twenty minutes, I popped like thirteen pills perk thirty.

610
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:09,879
Speaker 4: These are thirty milligrams. These are so strong it did

611
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 4: not touch me. And then I remember I had gave

612
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 4: someone the other batch and I told him if he

613
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 4: had it. He said yes, and I said, I'm gonna

614
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,480
Speaker 4: go switch these and that's when I find out I

615
00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 4: was given counterfeit perks that was pressed with something. I

616
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,399
Speaker 4: didn't even know it was fentanyl at that time.

617
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 2: Oh wow, And how does you feel? Like, what were

618
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 2: you thinking?

619
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 3: Oh?

620
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,040
Speaker 4: I was thinking like Jesus Christ that my uncle was

621
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 4: preaching to me that was coming back. I was feeling

622
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 4: like every time I took it, he touched me. I

623
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 4: felt like Jesus came.

624
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:47,919
Speaker 2: That is crazy, mm hmm. So what did your peak

625
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 2: what did peak audition look like for you? Like, like,

626
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 2: do you remember being so far gone that you were

627
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,800
Speaker 2: just like, I don't know if I'm be here much longer.

628
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:57,880
Speaker 3: Yes.

629
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 4: So in the beginning I told you that I'm not

630
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 4: some gangster. I was just a street nigga, So you know,

631
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:13,920
Speaker 4: I frequent nightclubs and I was not some disrespectful ass dude.

632
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 3: You know.

633
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 4: I was brought up by my grandparents, so I have

634
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 4: great upbringing. I was very respectful, very well known individual

635
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 4: in the community. You know, Cavert cave Verty is such

636
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 4: a tight knit community. Everyone knows everyone. I gained popularity

637
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 4: just because of you know, you're blowing money fast, you're

638
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 4: living fast. But I was not like some egotistic dude.

639
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 4: And once fentanyl came into the picture, I became a

640
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:47,840
Speaker 4: slave to fentanyl. And I always say when my master called,

641
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 4: I answer at any cost. So fentanyl stripped me, stripped

642
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 4: me from myself, it stripped me from society. If I

643
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 4: had fentanyl in a pack of new Ports, I didn't

644
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:06,279
Speaker 4: need anyone and I didn't need anything. It was like

645
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 4: a warm blanket in New York winter time.

646
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 2: Damn.

647
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

648
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 2: And what was your family thinking, Like were they aware

649
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,239
Speaker 2: of the drug use or were they like, what's going

650
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:17,799
Speaker 2: on with him?

651
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 4: Like my family was like, I don't think that was

652
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 4: not knowledgeable in the extent of the drug use.

653
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 3: They ain't.

654
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 4: They knew something was off, and they couldn't pinpoint it

655
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:36,839
Speaker 4: because it's not like I had cousins that was doing it.

656
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:38,080
Speaker 4: It was just me, And I was kind of the

657
00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,759
Speaker 4: black sheep of the family already, like, oh, pretty, that's

658
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:43,120
Speaker 4: just you know, he sells drugs, he does this, he's

659
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 4: a rock star.

660
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 3: Blah blah blah blah. They couldn't pinpoint it. But I mean,

661
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 3: I mean I was married lost that.

662
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, I try to run a legitimate life. I opened

663
00:37:55,360 --> 00:38:01,320
Speaker 4: a commercial cleaning company. I lost that. I got evicted

664
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 4: from luxury apartments. I used to have an apartment at

665
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:05,239
Speaker 4: the Avalon.

666
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,200
Speaker 3: Lost that. You just keep.

667
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 4: Downgrading and downgrading and just giving and given and given.

668
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:17,799
Speaker 4: If you notice, I didn't say that fentanyl robbed me.

669
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 3: I gave it. Yeah, I gave all these things up.

670
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 4: I gave into my master because I became a slave

671
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 4: to it and peak addiction.

672
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,320
Speaker 3: My name is pretty.

673
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,880
Speaker 4: For God's sake, I could go ten days without taking

674
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 4: a shower, and if I have some acts.

675
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:48,319
Speaker 3: Bout myself, another five days. But you know, so I

676
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,319
Speaker 3: became someone that I didn't know who I was.

677
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I can only imagine the lies that you

678
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 2: would tell yourself to make yourself believe that it's not

679
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:57,439
Speaker 2: as bad as it is.

680
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, you would negotiate with yourself like it's not that bad.

681
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:03,879
Speaker 4: It's not that bad. It was bad. It was hell

682
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 4: on earth no one wanted. First of all, I didn't

683
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 4: even go out like that because isolated, now my mental

684
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:23,359
Speaker 4: health is it's done for Right now you're contemplating suicide

685
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 4: and now fear of judgment. You don't know how to

686
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:29,839
Speaker 4: ask for help because people are gonna look at you

687
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:36,360
Speaker 4: like what right, So you deny, deny, deny, deny M

688
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:39,840
Speaker 4: And then Fetnahl brought me to my knees where I

689
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 4: had no more hustle.

690
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I didn't even know how to how I

691
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 3: was gonna get my next fixed. M. It's not like

692
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:52,799
Speaker 3: I was one.

693
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 4: Of those people that could go into a store and

694
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 4: steal something and go sell it because everybody know me.

695
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,240
Speaker 4: So you know, my ego was so big, I can't.

696
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 3: You know, show it.

697
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,479
Speaker 4: Pride won't let me show it. So I'm not going

698
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 4: to no stores. Still nothing I did. I'm going to

699
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 4: die on this couch, right, you know. But you start

700
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 4: to try to do this, reach out to this, hey,

701
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 4: let me get forty dollars for whatever you make up.

702
00:40:20,719 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 3: Lies and this and that, you just run out of options.

703
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:33,319
Speaker 4: Man. To be able to suffer in silence and to

704
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 4: not know that there's a solution, this is the worst

705
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:42,520
Speaker 4: pain any human can go through. Yeah, and me being

706
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 4: a black man, I personally came out with my story

707
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,400
Speaker 4: because I know there's so much men and women in

708
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 4: our community that is suffering that does not know that

709
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 4: there's a way out of that situation. Yeah, because I

710
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 4: didn't need to go out and talk about this.

711
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 3: I didn't. Yeah, but I kept thinking.

712
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:13,400
Speaker 4: After I got saved from the shackles of addiction, I

713
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,359
Speaker 4: started to think back of how lonely I was and

714
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 4: how I wish someone told me, like, hey, there's rehab,

715
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 4: you know, there's professional help, there's resources out there.

716
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 3: But no one told me.

717
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:34,560
Speaker 2: But I think that's the beauty of when people say

718
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 2: your life is not your own. So it's like, when

719
00:41:39,719 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 2: you go through all these things, you're not going through

720
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 2: it for you, You're going through it for the next

721
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 2: person to give them hope that they can't too come

722
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 2: out on the other side.

723
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 3: I strongly believe that.

724
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 4: God did not allow me to go through all those

725
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 4: I mean, I've gone through a lot, right, you know.

726
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 4: Obviously maybe from this interview, people could go see my

727
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 4: other interviews I've done and they could get more in depth.

728
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:11,240
Speaker 2: To overdose two like three times.

729
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 3: Hell yeah, I've overdosed.

730
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 4: I've been narcan three times, and none of those times

731
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 4: was the last time. That's the sad thing. Yeah, that's

732
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 4: the insanity that comes with it.

733
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,359
Speaker 3: And you follow Yeah, I.

734
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,320
Speaker 2: Was listening to one of them, one of the interviews,

735
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:31,280
Speaker 2: and you were saying how you overdose in your mom's

736
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 2: arm and then when you came back, you saw that

737
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,919
Speaker 2: you had socks on, and you was like, oh shit,

738
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 2: So you were back in the bathroom and did another

739
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 2: line or something.

740
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:41,840
Speaker 3: I'm like, did another line effect on?

741
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 2: Yeah? And I was like wow, Like drugs would really

742
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 2: just have you like.

743
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 3: You gone?

744
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 4: I mean, listen, Addiction is a disease. Yeah, that is

745
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:04,400
Speaker 4: a fact. No, no one chooses to wake up. And again,

746
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 4: people that hasn't personally gone through it, or lack of

747
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 4: education on this cause, on this situation, won't understand it.

748
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:18,680
Speaker 4: But it's been proven. It's been studied that addiction is

749
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 4: a disease of the mind. The same way a woman

750
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 4: that has breast cancer is not by her choice. Is

751
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 4: the same way me that represents as an addict is

752
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 4: not by my choice. It's a disease of the mind.

753
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 4: The only difference is there's a solution, right, There's a

754
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 4: solution for me today, right, And I live in it

755
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 4: daily And.

756
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:47,839
Speaker 3: I always tell people.

757
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:56,200
Speaker 4: That the substance is not the problem, because when you relapse,

758
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:04,360
Speaker 4: you make a sober decision to go back to the substance.

759
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,440
Speaker 4: So something that's not in your body cannot be the problem.

760
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:11,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, are you following?

761
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure. No, it's a lack of discipline.

762
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:18,440
Speaker 4: It's once you get to that place, it becomes a

763
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:21,879
Speaker 4: daily thing. People tell me like, yo, pretty well, you're

764
00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 4: never going to drink again. Because I don't represent this

765
00:44:24,719 --> 00:44:29,480
Speaker 4: as an alcoholic. I'm a drug addict, right, but I

766
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 4: haven't touched alcohol for as long as I haven't touched fentanyl.

767
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:43,879
Speaker 4: The last time I did fentanyl was July twenty twenty.

768
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 2: Right, and damn that was doing a pandemic.

769
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got I got sober during the pandemic.

770
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 2: M Yeah, wow, I thought I thought this was earlier.

771
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 2: I didn't five years ago, damn mar Yeah.

772
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:08,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I just celebrated five years. Like for me,

773
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:13,600
Speaker 4: it's a miracle to not touch fentanel for five years.

774
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 3: I can go three hours. Damn and you're talking five years.

775
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:21,880
Speaker 2: How do you? How does your family feel? Like do

776
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,239
Speaker 2: y'all have conversations about that? Like especially with you and

777
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 2: your mom and you overdose in her arms? Like what

778
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 2: are those conversations?

779
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:35,240
Speaker 4: Like they reminisced every time I'm around family member. It's somehow,

780
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 4: some way my story ends up coming up. It's like

781
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 4: the topic of the conversation, right, or the conversation of

782
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:48,280
Speaker 4: topic or whatever, and for me to see the pain

783
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 4: that I put him through, but then for me to

784
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:55,319
Speaker 4: see how proud they are the man I am today, right,

785
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 4: because I do a lot. Now, There's so much that

786
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 4: I do that sometimes I'm like, like, a, am.

787
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:10,160
Speaker 3: I really doing this? Do I really?

788
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 4: Like? Because I do so much that my best explanation

789
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 4: is God. Yeah, because I don't. I don't have a

790
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:24,800
Speaker 4: college degree.

791
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.

792
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:30,800
Speaker 4: You understand what I'm saying, right, But I'm a business

793
00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:37,840
Speaker 4: owner and it's like what right? Like I was stealing

794
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 4: five and a half years ago to get high on

795
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 4: for fentanel mm hmm. And today I employ people like that.

796
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 4: There's no better explanation than God.

797
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:56,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. But let's always say God is always with you, man, Yeah, yeah,

798
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 2: God is always. It could always be a lot worse.

799
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,200
Speaker 3: I remember one of the things I could remember my

800
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 3: uncle preaching was the Bible says, if you have faith

801
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 3: as small as a mustard seed, you can move a

802
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 3: mountain mountain.

803
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 2: That's a fact.

804
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 3: And not even.

805
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 4: Understand it then. But when I began my sobriety journey,

806
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 4: my faith was as small as this must seed. Yeah,

807
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:33,360
Speaker 4: and my accomplishment today is as if I've moved a mountain.

808
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:35,120
Speaker 2: So how did you get into recovery?

809
00:47:35,280 --> 00:47:35,360
Speaker 4: Like?

810
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 2: What was that?

811
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 3: Like?

812
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:38,680
Speaker 2: Did I introduce you to it?

813
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:44,280
Speaker 3: Or yeah? Yeah yeah. So I have a childhood best friend, June.

814
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 4: He lived in Los Angeles, and my family sent me

815
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 4: to Phoenix, Arizona, to a Christian based program. It was

816
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,359
Speaker 4: just not a good fit for me. I'm not going

817
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 4: to sit here in bad mouth the place. It was

818
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,320
Speaker 4: just not a good fit and I ended up escaping

819
00:47:58,400 --> 00:47:59,040
Speaker 4: five days in.

820
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 2: Y'ah. Nigga was like fuck this shit.

821
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:10,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I escaped five days in and then I

822
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 4: came to Los Angeles. I had never been to Los Angeles.

823
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 4: My childhood best friend June Freedom, who happens to be

824
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 4: a phenomenal singer. He's my favorite artist. By the way,

825
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 4: this is not a shotou or nothing. He's like an

826
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:26,239
Speaker 4: established artist. He's like with Empire and has like a

827
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 4: million monthly listeners. But he was I'm saying all that

828
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 4: to say this. He was like, You're not an addict

829
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:35,960
Speaker 4: like those people. I'm like, no, I'm not. He was

830
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 4: in the middle of like releasing a single or a

831
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 4: music or whatever.

832
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:40,800
Speaker 3: He was doing.

833
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,040
Speaker 4: Took him twenty four hours to find out that I'm

834
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:47,840
Speaker 4: a full blown junkie and I am worse than those

835
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,360
Speaker 4: people he thought I was not.

836
00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:52,920
Speaker 2: Wait, how did he find it? Was you like stealing

837
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:53,800
Speaker 2: or was you ODM?

838
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 4: I was not stealing. He had a dog named Ninja.

839
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:03,680
Speaker 4: I'm walking the dog for two hours on some crackhead ship,

840
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:08,480
Speaker 4: on some crackhead ship, because I've never had to score drugs,

841
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 4: regardless of you know, I was always well connected. I

842
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:15,440
Speaker 4: knew somebody and but to walk the street of California

843
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 4: try to find fetanol. Yeah, me and my boy Ninja

844
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 4: down Tarzana, poor Ninja, porn Ninja.

845
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 2: I didn't know what was going on, just going for a.

846
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:32,440
Speaker 4: Walk, man, I ended up. That's how you know that

847
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 4: when like the devil had.

848
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 3: My soul.

849
00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:41,680
Speaker 4: The environment, I'll allow myself to be in to score drugs.

850
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,319
Speaker 4: You wouldn't pay me enough to go there with a

851
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:45,800
Speaker 4: gun today.

852
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:54,399
Speaker 3: Oh wow? You know it was all bad, just all bad.

853
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 2: So you he was doing in music. He finally came

854
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 2: to the conclusion that okay, we have a p So

855
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,439
Speaker 2: was he the one to introduce you to rehab or no?

856
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 4: He remembered he had met someone six months prior, and

857
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:11,200
Speaker 4: he remember from conversating with this guy, his name is Gil,

858
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:12,240
Speaker 4: that the guy.

859
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 3: Had been sober for thirty three years.

860
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:15,040
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

861
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:17,720
Speaker 4: And then he called this guy and told them everything

862
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 4: I just told you. The guy said, bring him here

863
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 4: when I got there. I want you to imagine yourself, right,

864
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 4: that you've been living in China for ten years and

865
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:43,759
Speaker 4: no one spoke English, and you do not understand Chinese.

866
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:48,240
Speaker 4: In those ten years, you just in existence in China, right,

867
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 4: and then someone comes and taps your shoulder, Hey, my sister,

868
00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 4: how are you after ten years?

869
00:50:57,680 --> 00:50:59,359
Speaker 3: You're like, what? Right?

870
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:04,319
Speaker 4: What? This guy Gil started to speak to me in

871
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 4: a language that I finally understood. It is a person

872
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 4: that had gone through what I was currently going through.

873
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:16,399
Speaker 4: And then from that day on I took direction from

874
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:21,759
Speaker 4: him thoroughly. I didn't dilute it. If you go to Ikea,

875
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 4: if you notice to have these stages that they have

876
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 4: these nice things, and it's the way that they decorate

877
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:36,440
Speaker 4: the bed and everything that attracts you to it. And

878
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:40,400
Speaker 4: then you go downstairs and you get this box.

879
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 3: It's like, wait, where's the bed? Like it's in the box.

880
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 2: Got to put it together now.

881
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:52,839
Speaker 4: It is up to you to follow those directions, and

882
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:57,040
Speaker 4: if you follow those directions thoroughly, you're going to get

883
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 4: the result of the bed that you saw on the

884
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:07,520
Speaker 4: show floor. And I wanted what Gilly had and I've

885
00:52:07,520 --> 00:52:13,319
Speaker 4: been taking direction from him since July twenty twenty. Wow,

886
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 4: I went to a rehab called Hubbad Treatment Center. Listen,

887
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:27,640
Speaker 4: there's so much happening in the world today with and

888
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 4: I don't get into politics, I don't get into religion.

889
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:33,920
Speaker 2: Saying, but it's a lot going on.

890
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,319
Speaker 3: Though there's a lot going on.

891
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 4: My opinion of the Jewish community, it is completely different

892
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,360
Speaker 4: than what the media is portraying them to be because

893
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:51,800
Speaker 4: they saved my life, they took me into their rehab

894
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:58,160
Speaker 4: and the way they made me felt part of them.

895
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 4: I had been long lost and I look like a

896
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 4: terrorist if you look at me thoroughly. And for these

897
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 4: Jewish people at Habbad to just take me in at

898
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 4: my lowest and.

899
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 3: Just make me feel part of them.

900
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:25,799
Speaker 4: And Man, I go to so much Shabbat dinners, I

901
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:27,240
Speaker 4: go to so much bar Mitzvah.

902
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,640
Speaker 3: But there are great people.

903
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 4: Man, And it breaks my heart that a lot of

904
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 4: people that have opinion of the Jewish community is solely

905
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:48,720
Speaker 4: based upon the propaganda on social media you follow.

906
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm not going to get too deep into it.

907
00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 4: Like I said, I'm just going to say that I

908
00:53:56,120 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 4: believe if the world are able to get an experience

909
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 4: with the Jewish community, that they will have a different

910
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 4: opinion about them.

911
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Absolutely. I think social media and everything that's going

912
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 2: on in the world really plays a role in how

913
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:16,279
Speaker 2: we treat each other. I think that we remove all

914
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 2: of that and get back to what's important, which is love. Yes,

915
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 2: I think the world will be a better place. So

916
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:24,120
Speaker 2: I totally agree with you on that. Yeah.

917
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 4: So it just breaks my heart that all this hatred

918
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:33,919
Speaker 4: is going on again. I'm not here to discredit what's

919
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,360
Speaker 4: happening on the other side. I'm not here to do

920
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 4: none of that. What I'm saying is my experience with

921
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 4: the Jewish community is the complete opposite of what the

922
00:54:43,719 --> 00:54:49,920
Speaker 4: media is portraying today. Yeah, and the Habbad community are

923
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:53,760
Speaker 4: amazing people. They are my second. I don't have family

924
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:58,880
Speaker 4: in Los Angeles. Thanksgiving dinner, I go to their house.

925
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 4: Yeah know, it's Hanukah. I'm going to be going there,

926
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:09,799
Speaker 4: you know. I mean, they're my community, and they took

927
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:15,680
Speaker 4: me in when I felt this small my mentor believed

928
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:19,560
Speaker 4: in me when I couldn't believe in myself. Hmm.

929
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:23,960
Speaker 3: He thought for me when I couldn't think for myself.

930
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:25,439
Speaker 2: M hmm.

931
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:32,400
Speaker 3: And he didn't know me. I'm not of his kind.

932
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 4: Yesterday we was having a conversation and we was talking about,

933
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:47,399
Speaker 4: you know, different things. He said, ma'am pretty, I saw

934
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:50,879
Speaker 4: something in you that you was not able to see

935
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 4: in yourself.

936
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:53,840
Speaker 2: And that's all it takes is somebody to see.

937
00:55:53,680 --> 00:56:01,120
Speaker 3: You, you know what I mean? And Gil is, so.

938
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 4: How can I put this? Because the way what he

939
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 4: did for me, and the way he would go visit

940
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:11,719
Speaker 4: me at the rehab when I was there, bring me cigarette.

941
00:56:12,080 --> 00:56:14,399
Speaker 4: I was a complete stranger to him at that time

942
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:19,520
Speaker 4: and he had only met my boy June one other time.

943
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 4: And he's a very busy individual, right and then, like

944
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 4: I would ask him, how can I ever repay you back?

945
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:32,240
Speaker 4: You know what this guy would.

946
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:34,960
Speaker 2: Say, stay sober, stay sober.

947
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:39,200
Speaker 3: And just do it for someone else. I'm like, they

948
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:46,240
Speaker 3: gotta be a catch. Yeah, you understand. And guess what today,

949
00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 3: I've done it for a lot of someone else's.

950
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:51,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you owned recovery homes. Now right.

951
00:56:52,560 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 4: I own, Yes, I own sober living homes a lot

952
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:02,440
Speaker 4: of people people who don't know this. But I also

953
00:57:02,520 --> 00:57:03,800
Speaker 4: own a medical facility.

954
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 3: I own a.

955
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 4: Detox Oh nice, nice. I remember I called mom about

956
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:17,040
Speaker 4: five months ago. I said, Mom, I said, maybe you

957
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 4: had a dream of me going to college and being

958
00:57:20,280 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 4: a doctor or a nurse. And I said, unfortunately it

959
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:30,280
Speaker 4: didn't go as planned. I said, but today your son's

960
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:33,680
Speaker 4: in a position that I employed nurses and doctors. And

961
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 4: I didn't say that from my egotistic place. I just

962
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:40,640
Speaker 4: said that so my mom could get an idea of

963
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:41,960
Speaker 4: her son's achievement.

964
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, you follow.

965
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so dope.

966
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:51,200
Speaker 4: It's amazing. I mean five and a half years ago,

967
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 4: give or take, I was stealing to get high.

968
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:54,880
Speaker 3: Today.

969
00:57:56,920 --> 00:58:00,200
Speaker 4: You know, I'm also the brand ambassador of many for

970
00:58:00,240 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 4: Another detoxes, but I also own one of mine's as well.

971
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:08,560
Speaker 2: And for you, I'm proud of you.

972
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 3: Thank you.

973
00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:10,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's dope.

974
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:12,479
Speaker 3: Thank you.

975
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:19,360
Speaker 4: You know. And to be able to personally see someone

976
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 4: come broken, Yeah, and for me to be that person like, hey,

977
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:30,200
Speaker 4: I know what you're feeling. I've been there. Yeah, if

978
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 4: you do this, it's going to be all right. Because

979
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:35,760
Speaker 4: I'm a living testimony of sobriety.

980
00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, and also a living.

981
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 4: Testimony of a person that's gone through what you're about

982
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:44,479
Speaker 4: to start going through.

983
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:49,960
Speaker 2: But you are also a physical manifestation of hope, like

984
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 2: people can actually see it.

985
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I'm not no hoax, I'm not.

986
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 4: No. I always tell people I'm not some guy that

987
00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:03,360
Speaker 4: went to Harvard and studied addiction on brain from a

988
00:59:03,440 --> 00:59:07,640
Speaker 4: guinea pig. No, I'm the guy that stole to get high.

989
00:59:08,840 --> 00:59:11,560
Speaker 4: I'm the guy that did not take showers for ten days,

990
00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:13,760
Speaker 4: and if I had acts, I'm going to another five.

991
00:59:15,640 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 3: You understand what I'm saying.

992
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:22,960
Speaker 4: So if I can do it, I believe anyone can

993
00:59:23,280 --> 00:59:25,640
Speaker 4: and not anyone, not everyone has to.

994
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 3: What do I define a success in sobriety?

995
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:33,920
Speaker 4: Not materialistic stuff, not a business owner, not employing people?

996
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 3: Inner piece, Yeah, inner piece is priceless.

997
00:59:41,080 --> 00:59:44,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. So we're almost finished. But looking back of your

998
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,160
Speaker 2: entire life and all the things that you accomplished and

999
00:59:47,200 --> 00:59:49,120
Speaker 2: all the things that you're not proud of, what did

1000
00:59:49,120 --> 00:59:50,720
Speaker 2: forgiveness look like for yourself?

1001
00:59:52,480 --> 01:00:01,200
Speaker 3: Forgiveness for myself look like? Wow, that's a deep question.

1002
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 2: Have you forgiven yourself?

1003
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:06,080
Speaker 3: I have, okay, but I.

1004
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 4: Want to know what it looks like, though, I want

1005
01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:11,120
Speaker 4: to know how can I articulate the words for you?

1006
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 4: It looks like not being so hard on myself anymore,

1007
01:00:18,760 --> 01:00:26,040
Speaker 4: and it looks like when things get difficult, I'm like,

1008
01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:31,400
Speaker 4: I have the blueprint of like, it's okay, it's temporarily

1009
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:36,360
Speaker 4: you're going to get through this. If that makes sense.

1010
01:00:38,200 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, And last, but not least, what would you say

1011
01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:44,160
Speaker 2: to someone who feels trapped in addiction right now?

1012
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:57,160
Speaker 4: Mmm, you are not alone. That feeling that you get

1013
01:00:57,200 --> 01:01:01,600
Speaker 4: from those drugs is its face. There is those Louis

1014
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 4: Vautalon bags from Canal Street.

1015
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 3: It is not real.

1016
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:09,920
Speaker 2: Facts. I don't care how good it looks.

1017
01:01:10,440 --> 01:01:13,360
Speaker 3: I don't care how good it looks. Facts, it is

1018
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 3: not real.

1019
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:19,560
Speaker 4: Life is pretty on the opposite side of addiction, and

1020
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 4: if you want help, there's resources everywhere and personally on

1021
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:29,400
Speaker 4: coming on the twenty twenty.

1022
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 3: Six, I have a.

1023
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 4: I just got out of a meeting yesterday to where

1024
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:37,120
Speaker 4: people are going to be able to go to. Life

1025
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:39,760
Speaker 4: is pretty dot com and you're going to be able

1026
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 4: to be able to reach out and see how you

1027
01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:45,280
Speaker 4: could be part of what I have going on?

1028
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:47,240
Speaker 3: How can I be of service to them?

1029
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,840
Speaker 4: Right, because a lot of people, once you search rehab

1030
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:56,360
Speaker 4: dot com, you call and like, yeah, fifty thousand dollars,

1031
01:01:56,400 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 4: seventy thousand dollars, like, oh my god, no, I'd rather

1032
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:03,200
Speaker 4: continue doing dr Yeah no, but there's resources everywhere out there.

1033
01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 3: You know.

1034
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:10,720
Speaker 4: I tell people all the time, addiction is expensive, sobriety

1035
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:11,520
Speaker 4: is free.

1036
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 3: Facts, you know.

1037
01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 2: So it's true.

1038
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:22,040
Speaker 4: I'm excited for what I got going on and to

1039
01:02:22,120 --> 01:02:25,360
Speaker 4: share to the world. Coming up in twenty twenty six, sties,

1040
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 4: it's going to be a platform that anyone that's out

1041
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:32,640
Speaker 4: there struggling and would just go there and they will

1042
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:36,640
Speaker 4: have a representative reach out to them and see how

1043
01:02:36,720 --> 01:02:39,200
Speaker 4: we could be able to help them start their journey

1044
01:02:39,360 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 4: of sobriety. Yeah.

1045
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:44,640
Speaker 2: Well, however, I can support it. Definitely keep me posted.

1046
01:02:44,800 --> 01:02:46,560
Speaker 2: I'm so happy that we were able to make this.

1047
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:49,360
Speaker 2: And I always tell people like stories like yours is

1048
01:02:49,400 --> 01:02:51,800
Speaker 2: the epitome of why I create this platform, because I

1049
01:02:51,840 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 2: always tell people your storyline is someone else's lifeline. So

1050
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:56,800
Speaker 2: I appreciate you coming on the show.

1051
01:02:57,680 --> 01:02:59,120
Speaker 3: I appreciate you for having me.

1052
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:03,120
Speaker 4: Sorry, I took a little bit longer to get to you,

1053
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:06,960
Speaker 4: but I believe God moves in mysterious ways. And it

1054
01:03:07,040 --> 01:03:09,200
Speaker 4: was not on our time, it was in his time.

1055
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:11,440
Speaker 2: Absolutely, is there everyone where we can follow you at,

1056
01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:13,400
Speaker 2: we can support you at when the website's going to

1057
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:13,800
Speaker 2: be up.

1058
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:19,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, you can follow me at Yo, pretty F. That's

1059
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:21,240
Speaker 4: how you know. It was a big little Wayne fan.

1060
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:21,880
Speaker 3: I know.

1061
01:03:23,360 --> 01:03:26,240
Speaker 2: When I found you, I was like, Yo, this name.

1062
01:03:26,920 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 4: So hy oh and then p r e t t

1063
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:38,080
Speaker 4: y F And that's my Instagram and that's my Twitter,

1064
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:43,400
Speaker 4: that's my what's the other? U TikTok? Everything is yo,

1065
01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:47,080
Speaker 4: pretty F. Or you could just google me pretty Brandy.

1066
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:52,120
Speaker 4: I'm sure you'll put my name in the description and yeah,

1067
01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 4: or ask Tragic p T about who Pretty brand Dale

1068
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:57,760
Speaker 4: is and they'll just give it to you all over there.

1069
01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:01,640
Speaker 2: All right, Well, thank you so much, Pretty bringdeo and

1070
01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:08,640
Speaker 2: he called you for having me, what some crazy shit.

1071
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:12,040
Speaker 3: Forgive me.

1072
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:14,840
Speaker 2: You've been in this country long enough, stop it.

1073
01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:16,520
Speaker 3: Forgive me.

1074
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 2: But if y'all have any questions, comments of concerns, please

1075
01:04:19,680 --> 01:04:21,960
Speaker 2: make sure to email me at hello at the phgpodcast

1076
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:26,920
Speaker 2: dot com. And until next time, everyone, thank you.

1077
01:04:28,360 --> 01:04:33,760
Speaker 3: Love is love. You gonna say bye, y'alla, and thank

1078
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:36,400
Speaker 3: you for having me. It's been a pleasure.

1079
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:46,040
Speaker 2: Pretty Private is a production of the Black Effect podcast Network.

1080
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:51,360
Speaker 2: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,

1081
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:54,920
Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget

1082
01:04:54,960 --> 01:04:58,320
Speaker 2: to subscribe and rate the show, and you can connect

1083
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:01,360
Speaker 2: with me on social media at pretty Private podcast