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Speaker 1: It's time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you

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Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEVARBFM dot com and click

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Speaker 1: submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter live

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Speaker 1: on the air, just like we're going to read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now. You never know, it could

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Speaker 1: be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: All right, nephew, thank you. Subject my boyfriend can't tolerate much.

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a twenty seven year old female

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Speaker 1: and I just got out of a ten year relationship

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Speaker 1: that was going nowhere. Now I'm dating a twenty year old,

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Speaker 1: twenty nine year old man that pursued me for a

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Speaker 1: few years. He was there for me after my breakup,

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Speaker 1: so I got used to him being around. I want

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Speaker 1: to get your advice before I fall for the wrong

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Speaker 1: man again. He works as a manager of two movie

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Speaker 1: theaters and he runs his mobile detailing business on the side.

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Speaker 1: He's also a really good cook, but I can't get

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Speaker 1: him to cook anything spicy. That's a red flag Number

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Speaker 1: one because I'm from the South and we love a

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Speaker 1: little heat on our food. I can deal with him

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Speaker 1: not liking spicy foods, but there are some other things

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Speaker 1: that I love and he hates. He said he cannot

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Speaker 1: tolerate scary movies, roller coasters, water slides, bugs, or cold

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Speaker 1: air conditioning. I am not an overly adventurous person, but

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Speaker 1: I do like to live a little and I like

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Speaker 1: for my house to be cold. He's constantly swatting away

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Speaker 1: small flying bugs, and he accidentally swiped me across the

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Speaker 1: nose really hard. I don't get it. Even when we're intimate.

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Speaker 1: It's a problem. He's really robotic, and he likes to

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Speaker 1: call me a take charge kind of woman, but I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be in control in the bedroom. He

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Speaker 1: says he likes to see what I can do, but heck,

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Speaker 1: I want to see what he can do. He has

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Speaker 1: the right tools to excel at it, but for some

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Speaker 1: reason he's holding back. He told me that he prefers

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Speaker 1: to keep his pace. It's too slow for me. I

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Speaker 1: am so sick of hearing about things he doesn't like.

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Speaker 1: There are things I don't like, but I compromised with him.

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Speaker 1: My picking skills are bad so please help me. It

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Speaker 1: is best to keep an open mind and compromise to

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Speaker 1: keep him Is it best to keep an open mind

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Speaker 1: and compromise to keep him happy? Or is it time

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Speaker 1: to put this man in the friend zone? You move fast,

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Speaker 1: don't you. It depends on what you want. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think you're rushing things. Your picking skills are bad

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Speaker 1: because you don't give yourself time after a breakup. You

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Speaker 1: just got out of a relationship, a ten year relationship.

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Speaker 1: You didn't give your chance, yourself a chance to breathe,

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Speaker 1: and most importantly, you didn't give yourself time to reflect

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Speaker 1: on the breakup so you can learn what happened, learn

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Speaker 1: about yourself. You were in it for ten years. One

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Speaker 1: thing you did get right is that relationships are about compromise.

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Speaker 1: You guys don't have to like all the same things

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Speaker 1: your individuals. You like roller coasters, you like spicy foods,

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Speaker 1: water slides and all that. He doesn't like that. That's okay,

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Speaker 1: it's okay. You know you're the only one in the

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Speaker 1: relationship trying to compromise, so that can be a problem.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: I think you need to take time out to be

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Speaker 1: with just you so you can figure out what you

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Speaker 1: really want. I mean, this guy may not be the

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Speaker 1: guy for you after all, because I don't think this

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Speaker 1: is it. You have way too many complaints about this guy, Steve.

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Speaker 3: This is a letter that this woman wrote, the letter

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Speaker 3: that doesn't really understand how to be in a relationship.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what you're looking for, but you seem

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Speaker 3: to be overlooking some great qualities and you offended by

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Speaker 3: some really small qualities. So let me show you what

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Speaker 3: I mean. Twenty seven year old female got out of

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Speaker 3: a ten year relationship that was going nowhere. So you've

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Speaker 3: been with somebody since you was seventeen, so obviously you

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Speaker 3: don't know much about because you was in a relationship

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Speaker 3: that was going nowhere. So that's your example of a relationship.

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Speaker 3: You got ten years of that, and most of that

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Speaker 3: you really weren't that big of an adult to begin with.

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Speaker 3: So just you really just now should be trying to

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Speaker 3: find yourself. I recommend highly that you spend some time

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Speaker 3: alone because you need to get to know yourself, because

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Speaker 3: I don't understand the letter. You're dating this twenty two

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Speaker 3: year old guy that pursued you for years. He was

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Speaker 3: there for you after the breakup, so you got used

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Speaker 3: to him being around. See that, I want to get

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Speaker 3: your advice before I fall for the room. He works

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Speaker 3: as a manager of two movie theaters and he runs

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Speaker 3: his mobile detailing business on the side. You, ma'am, are

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Speaker 3: dating a hustler, a hard working hustler. The man run

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Speaker 3: two movie theaters and he has a mobile detailing business

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Speaker 3: on the side. This brother trying to come up. He

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Speaker 3: putting it in. That's what you want to find in

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Speaker 3: a man. He's also a really good cook, another great,

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Speaker 3: great quality. But I can't get him to cook anything spicy.

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Speaker 3: That's a red flag. What wait a minute. He's a

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Speaker 3: really good cook, but you can't get him to cook

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Speaker 3: nothing spicy.

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Speaker 2: So that's a red flag.

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Speaker 3: Because I'm from the South and we love a little

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Speaker 3: heat on our food.

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Speaker 2: No we don't. I'm from the country.

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Speaker 3: I don't like how to ask food not spicy.

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Speaker 2: I don't.

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Speaker 3: So you trip it because the man is a great cook,

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Speaker 3: but you can't get him to make nothing spicy. Get

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Speaker 3: you some crunched pepper flakes, some pepper and some hot

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Speaker 3: sauce on the table, and when he cooked, spice it

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Speaker 3: up all you want. They got tabasco, They got all

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Speaker 3: kinds of stuff. You can make this thing spicy as

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Speaker 3: you want. What's wrong with you? I can deal with

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Speaker 3: him not liking spicy foods, But there are some other

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Speaker 3: things I love that he hates. He can't tolerate scary movies.

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Speaker 3: I don't go to Note Down ever, since it's the Exorcist.

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Speaker 3: I ain't went to a scared movie since I don't

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Speaker 3: do scared movies. I don't understand it. Roller coasters. I

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Speaker 3: don't ride no damn roller coaster. I don't like water

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Speaker 3: slides for what I case well, and when I go

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Speaker 3: down the slide, it throw you into too much damn water.

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Speaker 3: I don't do water slides. He don't like bugs or

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Speaker 3: cold air conditioning. I don't like cold air conditioning neither.

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Speaker 3: Now I kill all the bugs that's in my house.

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Speaker 3: I'm not running from a bug. But you didn't pay

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Speaker 3: no rent. You're not staying here, So now you gonna

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Speaker 3: stop dating a man cause a that girl. Bye, al bye.

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Speaker 1: Hang on Seve. We'll have part two of your response

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Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's

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Speaker 1: Strawberry letter subject my boyfriend can't tolerate much. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into it right after this you're listening morning show.

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Speaker 1: All right, come on, Seve, let's recap today's strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend can't tolerate.

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Speaker 3: This sister right here has been in a ten year

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Speaker 3: relationship that she got out of going nowhere. So she's

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Speaker 3: in a relationship from seventeen to twenty seven. So you

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Speaker 3: haven't even You don't even know yourself yet. You are

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Speaker 3: just now at the age of learning who you are.

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Speaker 3: I suggest this woman spend some time alone. But she's

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Speaker 3: dating the guy that pursued her for years after she

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Speaker 3: broke up. He was therefore, she got used to him,

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Speaker 3: so now she's dating him. There's a lot of stuff

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Speaker 3: she don't like about him. You know, he's a manager

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Speaker 3: at two movie theaters. He runs his mobile detailing business

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Speaker 3: on the side. I think he's a great guy. Think

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Speaker 3: he's a hustler. He's also a really good cook, but

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Speaker 3: I can't get him to cook anything spicy. So that's

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Speaker 3: a red flag. Lady, by give me the man that's

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Speaker 3: a really good cook. Now you got a problem with

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Speaker 3: him because y'all from the South, and y'all like heat

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Speaker 3: on your food, and you can't get him cook none spicy.

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Speaker 3: Get your ass a bottle of franks, some bulls eyes,

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Speaker 3: some trappies, get your ass, some tabasco, get your ass,

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Speaker 3: some red crushed pepper flakes and put it on the

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Speaker 3: table with some pepper. And then when he make his food,

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Speaker 3: you can make your spicies. You want a spicy but

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Speaker 3: he a good cook. You can't get nothing spicy. So

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Speaker 3: that's a red flag for you. I can deal with

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Speaker 3: him not liking spider, but it's some other things I

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Speaker 3: love and he hate. He can't tolerate scary movie me either.

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Speaker 3: I don't even watch scary movies. When I watch horror movies,

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Speaker 3: I don't like him no more.

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Speaker 2: What on?

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Speaker 3: I don't like it, and I'm not scared. I just

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Speaker 3: don't like for what he don't like roller coasters me either.

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Speaker 2: I don't go ride on nothing. All my money fall

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Speaker 2: out of my pocket. Time for that.

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Speaker 3: Water slides? What's at the end of the water slide?

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Speaker 3: Some more damn water. I'm already struggling on this slide.

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Speaker 3: Now you're gonna throw me into a pool of water.

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Speaker 3: I don't swim that good.

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Speaker 2: I don't like no.

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Speaker 3: Damn water slide. He don't like bugs. I kill every

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Speaker 3: bub that in my house. I let nothing live, and

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Speaker 3: he don't like cold air condition. Marjorie and her mama

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Speaker 3: love that house cold. I be walking around with a

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Speaker 3: hoodie on all kinds of stuff. When she ain't looking,

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Speaker 3: I cut it up. I am not an overly and

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Speaker 3: I'm not an overly adventurous person, but I do like

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Speaker 3: a little, uh live a little, and I like for

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Speaker 3: my house to be cold. He constantly swatting away small

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Speaker 3: flying bugs, and he accidentally hits you on the face

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Speaker 3: real hard. I don't get it, even when when I

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Speaker 3: hear the problem though, even when he intimate it's a problem.

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Speaker 3: He's really robotic, and he likes to call me a

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Speaker 3: take charge kind of woman, but I don't want to

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Speaker 3: be in control in the bedroom. He said he likes

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Speaker 3: to see what I can do, but heck, I want

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Speaker 3: to see what he could do. Okay, that's fair, that's fair.

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Speaker 3: I understand that he says he likes I want to

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Speaker 3: see what he can do. He has the right tools

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Speaker 3: to excel at it, but for some reason, he hold

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Speaker 3: him back. So obviously, you're not complaining about nothing. He

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Speaker 3: just robots. He got everything he needs. Why are you complaining?

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Speaker 3: She got you know, show him what you want and

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Speaker 3: then see if y'all can't work through it. He said

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Speaker 3: he liked to keep his pace. It's too slow for me.

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Speaker 3: See you too much. You was with that dude for

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Speaker 3: ten years. Y'all in here like two bunny rabbits. Now

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Speaker 3: you've met a man that's robotic. That might be a

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Speaker 3: better way to do it, but you're in when you

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Speaker 3: the energize of bunny when you were there, did you.

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Speaker 2: Got gott got? Well? Okay, don't nobody going all that?

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Speaker 1: What's that noise?

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Speaker 3: You?

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Speaker 1: What's that saying?

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Speaker 2: You're here?

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Speaker 3: That's like a little baby jackhammer? Don't nobody want all that?

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Speaker 3: Damn it slowed down. I am so sick of.

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Speaker 2: Hearing about things he don't like.

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Speaker 3: Well, if he's a complainer, yes, but if he just

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Speaker 3: doesn't see eye to eye when you on a couple

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Speaker 3: of things, like Shirley said, there is a compromise.

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Speaker 2: He don't like scary movies. Okay, you go to scared movies.

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Speaker 2: Let him watch. What do you want to watch? You

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Speaker 2: know he ain't got it good.

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Speaker 3: You like spicy food, put our sauce on yours. You

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Speaker 3: don't like roller coasters, go by yourself. He don't like water, slides.

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Speaker 3: He don't want to go down now go to the beach.

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Speaker 3: Damn anyway. Things I don't like, but I'm but I

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Speaker 3: compromised with him. My picking skills are so bad you

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Speaker 3: or you ain't picked for one, so please help me.

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Speaker 3: Is it best to keep an open mind and compromise

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Speaker 3: to keep him happy? Or is it time to put

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Speaker 3: this man in the friends on?

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Speaker 2: Lady?

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Speaker 3: I think it's time for you to find yourself, discover

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Speaker 3: who you really are. You need to spend some time

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Speaker 3: with yourself because all you do is you want to

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Speaker 3: be with somebody. You was in a relationship for ten years.

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Speaker 3: Now you're gonna jump into another one. Why don't you

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Speaker 3: stay by yourself sometimes, discover what you want and then

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Speaker 3: learn how to be in a relationship, because all you're

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Speaker 3: gonna do, same thing gonna happen. You want your cold

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Speaker 3: house cold, You like bugs flying around, You want to

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Speaker 3: ride a roller coasty? Your ass got to go down

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Speaker 3: the water slide. I like hot ass food. Well you're

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Speaker 3: gonna be eating by your damn self.

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Speaker 1: Carrie movie.

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Speaker 2: Everybody sitting up in here, so you wanna watch some

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Speaker 2: scary movies?

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Speaker 3: We get two TVs going in there, go on there

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Speaker 3: and holler your ass off if you want to.

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Speaker 2: I'm watching it ain't so. This man can really cook,

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Speaker 2: real good. He could work.

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Speaker 3: He run two movie theaters, and he got a mobile

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Speaker 3: detail cut and you're gonna throw him away.

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Speaker 2: And he a really good cook.

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Speaker 3: He don't treat you wrong, and he take his time

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Speaker 3: when he's in the bedroom. Well, going back and get

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Speaker 3: Jack Flash, the dude you used to date. But obviously

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Speaker 3: he had a much faster pace. And that's what y'all got.

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Speaker 3: But Jack flatting. But now y'all ain't together no more?

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Speaker 3: You in here, you know, so see a lot of

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Speaker 3: times you got to remember why you broke up with

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Speaker 3: the person you broke up with. He made a little

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Speaker 3: real fast. He probably couldn't cook now, y'all on the

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Speaker 3: roller coaster, holland, but y'all can't stand each other, lady.

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Speaker 2: All right, Steve, thank you.

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Speaker 1: You can comment on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram or

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Speaker 1: Facebook at Steve Harvey f M, and also check out

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on the free iHeartRadio app where

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Speaker 1: free never sounded so good. You can download it today now.

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Speaker 1: Coming up next, it's Junior and Sports Talk right after

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Speaker 1: this you're listening to this morning show.