Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central from New York City, the
Speaker 1: only city in America. It's the shows that intended news.
Speaker 1: This he's the Daily Show with your host Leslie June.
Speaker 1: Why go to the Daddy Ring Show. I'm Latilie Jones.
Speaker 1: That's right there. Let me come back for another night.
Speaker 1: So that's got all right? Um, you guys are on TikTok, right, Well,
Speaker 1: I got bad news because if you're on TikTok, you
Speaker 1: gotta drop out of college because universities across the country
Speaker 1: are banning TikTok from school WiFi because they're words that
Speaker 1: China might be spying on them. Yeah, and you know what,
Speaker 1: good get these kids off TikTok. I'm tired of seeing
Speaker 1: Little Ashley's amazing hat for how to flip grilled cheese
Speaker 1: in a pan. You don't think I know how to
Speaker 1: flip a pan, bitch, or make grilled cheese. I've been
Speaker 1: flipping pans and making grilled cheese since before you were ball,
Speaker 1: So don't talk to me like I'm stupid. You're a stupid,
Speaker 1: stupid twenty four year old. What you're doing and skin
Speaker 1: you have no us? Okay, well, okay, I think I
Speaker 1: got off subject. I'm sorry. Next up, the t s
Speaker 1: A announced that they seized record numbers of guns at
Speaker 1: airports checkpoints last year. And let me tell you something,
Speaker 1: if I'm bringing a gun through checkpoint, you ain't taking
Speaker 1: it from me because I got a gun. But honestly,
Speaker 1: I think this makes it more interesting for T s
Speaker 1: A people because you know, they get bored and they're
Speaker 1: probably happy when they actually find a gun. You know,
Speaker 1: del though, del doo, del doo to del doos. Oh father,
Speaker 1: that done, Dad, and get the deal go too. I
Speaker 1: think he has deal the who you are? Nasty terrorist? Who?
Speaker 1: Moving on? Y'all know who George Santos is right with
Speaker 1: his creepy ash if y'all don't know who he is,
Speaker 1: He's the new Republican congressman who found who we found
Speaker 1: out lied about his entire life. He made up a
Speaker 1: whole career as a businessman. He made up that his
Speaker 1: family was Jewish and his mom was a victim of
Speaker 1: nine eleven? Ill, Ill, do you know how much you
Speaker 1: have to lie to be known as the lying congressman?
Speaker 1: Do is lie all day? But when you ask them
Speaker 1: who is the liar, they're like this guy, Wait, till
Speaker 1: you hear about this ship. He did. Representative George Santos
Speaker 1: is allegedly so on three thousand dollars and donations from
Speaker 1: a disabled, homeless veterans dying service dog. Santos allegedly used
Speaker 1: an alias to calm the veteran and set up a
Speaker 1: go fund Me page that would be deleted as soon
Speaker 1: as it hit its goal, and then Santos disappeared altogether exactly. So,
Speaker 1: so you're telling me this man didn't steal three thousand
Speaker 1: dollars from a dog. He didn't just steal from a
Speaker 1: service dog. He didn't just steal from a dying service dog.
Speaker 1: He stole from a disabled, homeless veterans dying service dog.
Speaker 1: Oh god, you evil and stupid. You're gonna mess with
Speaker 1: somebody's dog. Have you not heard of John Wick? Your
Speaker 1: ass is in trouble. Truble mess with no vetchans dog.
Speaker 1: You're know's so crazy. This guy is so evil. I
Speaker 1: wonder if they put him in there on purpose so
Speaker 1: I can't pay attention to the other evil people. Anybody
Speaker 1: got me eyes on? Marjorie Taylor Green? What's up with
Speaker 1: that bitch? What is that bitch up too? She broughably
Speaker 1: got Garfield tied up in her office. I'm serious, Like,
Speaker 1: what does this man have to do to get thrown
Speaker 1: out of Congress? He's a liar. Black people don't get
Speaker 1: believed when they actually tell the truth. But Barack Obama
Speaker 1: was like, hey, I was born in American. People were like,
Speaker 1: little ship, where's a birth certificate? And this guy was like,
Speaker 1: I was a millionaire Jewish volleyball star, and y'all like,
Speaker 1: hell yeah. I put him the Congress sick of y'all ship.
Speaker 1: And finally, I don't know if y'all been um eating
Speaker 1: breakfast lately, but breakfast is in trouble son. The latest
Speaker 1: economic number show inflation is slowing down, but not for
Speaker 1: people who buy eggs. The average price for a dozen
Speaker 1: of eggs has more than doubled over the past year.
Speaker 1: Shortages around the country are hurting producers and putting more
Speaker 1: stress on consumers and businesses. Why is there a shortage
Speaker 1: right now? What's going on? Well, I'm sure you heard
Speaker 1: there is a bird flu in the Midwest. At egg Tuck,
Speaker 1: a breakfast bot in Los Angeles that goes through up
Speaker 1: to six thousand eggs a week, costs have quadruple and
Speaker 1: they're feeling it. All of our forces are made with eggs. Mean,
Speaker 1: while the line of cars is about thirty minutes long
Speaker 1: at Billy's egg farm in southern California and workers are
Speaker 1: scrambling to meat demand what wait, which, why you buying
Speaker 1: so many eggs? But yeah, there's an egg shortage right
Speaker 1: now because a ton of chickens got bird flute, which
Speaker 1: is which isn't surprising, you know, because chickens are freaky
Speaker 1: little disgusting creatures. And god how I love to eat
Speaker 1: what they shipped out. They bird pussy early in the morning.
Speaker 1: I got the same pussy's going rub it. But that's
Speaker 1: a serious Now, this is serious because people need eggs
Speaker 1: so badly. I think the chickens are gonna start getting
Speaker 1: real cocky. What's up, bitch? You want these eggs? What
Speaker 1: you're gonna do for me? I'm gonna tell you what
Speaker 1: I want. I want a new barn. I want to
Speaker 1: assist it. I want to fly business class and an
Speaker 1: extra large flat sink screen and a PS five and
Speaker 1: one more thing sell sally to Popeye's Bye bitch. Alright, alright,
Speaker 1: for more on this eggs story, Let's now go to
Speaker 1: a man who deserves to be knee deep in chicken ship.
Speaker 1: Y'all give it up from Michael Costa. Okay, yeah, Hi Lee,
Speaker 1: it's it's great to see you again. No it ain't, okay,
Speaker 1: I see, just so everybody knows. Leslie and I have
Speaker 1: a bit of history. But don't worry, we're gonna be
Speaker 1: totally professional. I ain't about to be ship. I ain't.
Speaker 1: Don't be professional, and not that you should have been
Speaker 1: professional when you was dating my home girl. Okay, okay, Leslie, Leslie,
Speaker 1: love is complicated and I'd rather not share the details
Speaker 1: of such a private matter. Okay, But ultimately, relationships do end.
Speaker 1: So now the eggs, don't try to weasel yourself out
Speaker 1: of this. I don't do that, Leslie. I don't know
Speaker 1: what she told you, but but she cheated on me
Speaker 1: three times. Oh and that's the reason not to call
Speaker 1: her back, not chicken ship. Okay, okay, all right, okay,
Speaker 1: So now the egg shortage, it's actually the result of
Speaker 1: the Avian bird flu, and that I don't give up
Speaker 1: about that. What you did was wrong, Costa, Leslie, you
Speaker 1: don't know this, but she gave me lamydia. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: do know that, and people have done worse Costa. It's terrible. Okay,
Speaker 1: just get you some penicina plus the ship that gets
Speaker 1: rid of that ship, move with the wrong man. Don't
Speaker 1: think ghost in my girl. That ain't cool. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: let's just talk about the eggs. Okay, because, as I
Speaker 1: was saying, the shortage is severe. But if you look closely,
Speaker 1: you'll find that it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Speaker 1: You so in corny Costa. You know she was gonna
Speaker 1: break up with you because you're a corny mother, you
Speaker 1: know that, right. Look, Look, I'm trying to be a
Speaker 1: good sport here. I came all the way out here
Speaker 1: to this farm that you sent me to. I got
Speaker 1: feathers all over my suit. It stinks, you know what.
Speaker 1: You know what I tell you what stinks. My girl
Speaker 1: had to go to therapy after you. Yeah, because she
Speaker 1: has multiple personality disorder. Yeah, that's what we loved about her.
Speaker 1: She's like ten friends and one be a man and
Speaker 1: ten bitches. Okay, I handled it the best I could.
Speaker 1: I don't know why you care about this so much.
Speaker 1: Why don't we talk about it off air? If you're
Speaker 1: so upset, can we just focus on the news. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm talking to his ass right, looking at those lying
Speaker 1: eyes of him. He ain't ship. Do you know what?
Speaker 1: That's right, I'm gonna bring that up. I'm bring that up. Okay,
Speaker 1: hold on, you know what Costa? You know what? You
Speaker 1: didn't even visit her in the lock up after she
Speaker 1: stabbed Joe ass. That's the doctor, Leslie for the last time.
Speaker 1: You know what do you want from me? I want
Speaker 1: you to say you sorry. I want you to apologize
Speaker 1: to my own girl. All right, Okay, m Leslie, from
Speaker 1: the bottom of my heart, you ain't got no Darren
Speaker 1: when you hear that ship and I hope for chicken
Speaker 1: ships in your shoes, y'all give it up for Michael Costa.
Speaker 1: All right? When we come back, Roy Would Junior visits
Speaker 1: the White House, so don't go away? What the doctor
Speaker 1: the gal show. Have you ever wonder what happens when
Speaker 1: a championship team visits the White House? Well, so did
Speaker 1: Roy Wood Jr. Let's go check it out. In American
Speaker 1: Pro Sports, if your team wins the championship, you get
Speaker 1: to go to the White House, enjoy a five star meal,
Speaker 1: and hand the President of Jersey he will never wear.
Speaker 1: I got to attend this year's event with the Golden
Speaker 1: State Warriors to celebrate their NBA championship, something they didn't
Speaker 1: get to do the last two times they won. Let
Speaker 1: me just say that the Golden State Warriors are always
Speaker 1: welcome in this White House. To find out why, I
Speaker 1: asked a man himself, how you doing, Mr President? Now?
Speaker 1: Quick question, Mr President? The Warriors won in and team
Speaker 1: why didn't they come to the White House those other
Speaker 1: two times? Well you have to ask the other guy,
Speaker 1: but he didn't work here anymore news new rules? All right, Well,
Speaker 1: thank you, Mry Solve. Time to talk some basketball players.
Speaker 1: Why are athletes invited to the White House? Sports in
Speaker 1: general brings like so many people together. I think basketball especially,
Speaker 1: like we're very visible and whatnot. So when you win
Speaker 1: a championship, you get invited here. We all can leverage
Speaker 1: our platform to to you know, change the game in
Speaker 1: a way that will be bigger than basketball. And I
Speaker 1: think this is a great moment to reflect on all
Speaker 1: of that. Do you think it's fair that only the
Speaker 1: Warriors were invited and not the other twenty nine teams
Speaker 1: that y'all will hell about inclusion? Everybody was included in
Speaker 1: the two games, But that's where the inclusion stops. Do
Speaker 1: you think events like this where teams invited to the
Speaker 1: White House create opportunities for conversation about real issues, they
Speaker 1: actually do. I I actually took part in a panel
Speaker 1: before our ceremony with the President and the Vice President
Speaker 1: on gun safety and gun violence issues. We get to
Speaker 1: you know, we go see the President, see the White House,
Speaker 1: but also actually kind of take part in some some
Speaker 1: real discussions. What is one rule that you would have
Speaker 1: the President change in the NBA? One route, no text,
Speaker 1: That's an easy one for me. No technical files, you
Speaker 1: can't go. No taxs, No you can't three takes. No
Speaker 1: why why? Three? Three food takes. It's a person decided
Speaker 1: that you deserve a tech because they didn't like something
Speaker 1: you did. Right, better crib your crib or the White House?
Speaker 1: My crib. I like my crib. Better crib, got a
Speaker 1: kitchen I got access to. I only know where they're
Speaker 1: going to keep the food at the people? Where are
Speaker 1: what I'm saying? The Biden Harris administration understands the challenge
Speaker 1: that higher education has been so many people across the country.
Speaker 1: So forty million people are eligible. Uh. In our opinion
Speaker 1: for debt relief We're working on loan forgiveness. We've forgiven
Speaker 1: over forty eight billion dollars with a B to make
Speaker 1: sure that people have access to higher education. We're not
Speaker 1: stopping Secretary of Education. You know the people that be forgiven,
Speaker 1: the loaners. Okay, okay, can you take care of my student?
Speaker 1: I guess players showing up to the White House does
Speaker 1: help draw attention to the important issues, But how are
Speaker 1: we going to elevate these cabinet members to sports? Started
Speaker 1: Royal vir Junior Daily Show. When championship teams visit the
Speaker 1: White House, the president gets a jersey, but no one else.
Speaker 1: Are you jealous? No, I'm not jealous. Of course the
Speaker 1: president gets a jersey. I made you a jersey for you.
Speaker 1: That's something. Where'd you get it from? Oh my cousin
Speaker 1: stole it? Well, thank you. I appreciate it. Roy They
Speaker 1: loved my jersey idea. You know, I have an eight
Speaker 1: year old can do that too. So I gave out
Speaker 1: some more, then started hooping with some Oakland Rappers. Man,
Speaker 1: I need to come back next year as a player.
Speaker 1: I used to play directly. If you need another to gods,
Speaker 1: just let me know. Yeah, do you have a card?
Speaker 1: Or I'll just call you media. Now I'm gonna call
Speaker 1: thank you all right, stay too, because before we come back,
Speaker 1: I'll be talking to the president of So don't go.
Speaker 1: What do the daily ship every year more than six
Speaker 1: hundred Grandparenthood Health Centers national? Why provide health care services
Speaker 1: to millions of patients? My guest tonight is the president
Speaker 1: and the CEO of the Planned Parenthood Please welcome, Alexis McGill,
Speaker 1: John Side. I'm so glad they saw how good you look.
Speaker 1: They think all of us look crazy. They wanted to
Speaker 1: be fighting for you know, let me tell you how important,
Speaker 1: how important planned Parenthood is to me. It's just one
Speaker 1: of the most important things in my life. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: I have my parents in seventeen eight times have my
Speaker 1: mom and planned Parenthood taught me everything. And that's real talk.
Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure that you guys have done that
Speaker 1: for a lot of girls. So if you listen to
Speaker 1: the people on the right, they think that Planned Parenthood
Speaker 1: is an abortion factory, like you know, that's like back
Speaker 1: to back abortions and what a side of fries? You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. What I want to get clear
Speaker 1: here today is what are the actual services of planned Parenthood. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you Leslie for asking me that question, and thank
Speaker 1: you for sharing how important plan Parenthood has been for you,
Speaker 1: because that has been the story for so many people
Speaker 1: in their lives. Plan Parenthood really represents reproductive freedom. We
Speaker 1: sell freedom and agency. It means that when you walk
Speaker 1: into a plan parent at health center, you may be
Speaker 1: coming for birth control, STI testing, cervical cancer screenings, breast
Speaker 1: cancer screenings, gender affirming care, and yes, we proudly provide
Speaker 1: abortion because that is also part of healthcare. That is abortion.
Speaker 1: We care. That's what we do. That's what I'm talking about. Yes,
Speaker 1: And I don't say I don't think people realize that
Speaker 1: men can go to Planned Parenthood for services too, and
Speaker 1: they should. I think when men here Parenthood they just
Speaker 1: start running. Tell me the services that you provide for
Speaker 1: people with penises. Yes, men are like one of the
Speaker 1: facets growing demographics that Planned Parenthood. They come for the
Speaker 1: same set of services. They come to get access to condoms,
Speaker 1: they come to get access to st I screenings, They
Speaker 1: come from vasectomies increasingly after the job's decision, right, they
Speaker 1: are coming in Okay, I don't know, I mean, I
Speaker 1: mean maybe we need to market it, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Maybe we need to have a better market
Speaker 1: like we treat the meat. You know. Yeah, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, playing parenthood plan, parents of presents, the
Speaker 1: dick fixers, you know what I'm saying, We do that too.
Speaker 1: But but like, do you think men are embarrassed about
Speaker 1: what they need to come in for? Because let me
Speaker 1: tell you something, man, it's important that men get checked out.
Speaker 1: The sexual health affects their wives, partners and girlfriends too.
Speaker 1: Roe Versus Wade was overturing sex months seven months ago,
Speaker 1: and it's important for men to come in also tell
Speaker 1: them please, how important is Yeah? It is so critical.
Speaker 1: I mean, first of all, stigma around sexual reproductive health
Speaker 1: care effects everybody. So it does affect man. They may
Speaker 1: not talk about it, but they're certainly coming to play
Speaker 1: parenthood to get it checked out, right. I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: they see something, they need to say something, they need
Speaker 1: to come in and make sure something. But the airp affective.
Speaker 1: But they are really being affected by the stops decision,
Speaker 1: right because you know, I mean on the other side
Speaker 1: of every single abortion, every choice that someone makes to
Speaker 1: to not continue a pregnancy, we are also seeing the
Speaker 1: impact on miscarriage management. We're also seeing the impact on
Speaker 1: their wives, on their daughters and their sisters, on their workers,
Speaker 1: on their coworkers, and so men, I would say, actually
Speaker 1: are showing up in a much stronger way. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of them out there freestyling because they still don't
Speaker 1: know how our bodies work, how our periods work, how
Speaker 1: our pregnancies work. But there are a lot of men
Speaker 1: who are showing up, and I think it is really
Speaker 1: important to give them the energy to to continue to
Speaker 1: do that. Yes, yes, how how do we how do
Speaker 1: we how do we combat that, like this thing about
Speaker 1: our rights and everything? How we keep how we keep
Speaker 1: things well? I mean, first of all, I mean we
Speaker 1: have to be clear that the Supreme Court made a decision,
Speaker 1: but the Supreme Court doesn't get the last word. We do, yes,
Speaker 1: And they are going to need to fight state by
Speaker 1: state because they are coming for birth control, they are
Speaker 1: coming for IVF, they are coming. They're trying to they're
Speaker 1: literally trying to bankrupt bankrupt us in Texas, right Planned
Speaker 1: Parenthood in Texas. They are trying everything they can to
Speaker 1: stop people from getting access to care. But what we
Speaker 1: have in you know people like you are just you know,
Speaker 1: passionate about freedom, passionate about justice. UM is an opportunity
Speaker 1: to really be a leader and a volunteer. Oh now,
Speaker 1: you know you shouldn't give me no damn bullhorn. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be out there on the streets going hey women,
Speaker 1: Hey women, are you leaking? Come to plan Parenthood so
Speaker 1: we can do some peaking, you know. Hey, guys, come
Speaker 1: in quick so we can tax your Yeah, yeah right,
Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick right back outcome day. Yeah yeah, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: well that dot show for tonight. But before we go,
Speaker 1: Planned Parenthood is an irreplaceable part of this country's health
Speaker 1: care system. For many people, it's their only source of
Speaker 1: health care. If you can support them in their work,
Speaker 1: please donate at the link below. This has been a
Speaker 1: Comedy Central podcast