WEBVTT - Non Negotiables with Reza Farahan 0:00:00.440 --> 0:00:04.400 Hell I Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared 0:00:04.680 --> 0:00:12.440 and I Heart Radio podcast. Hey guys, it's Vanessa Grimaldi 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:17.520 on the show right now. I've been I've been obsessed 0:00:17.560 --> 0:00:22.000 with a SMR, which is basically the sounds of well, MICHAELA, 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:24.840 what is it exactly? It's like it's basically a close 0:00:24.880 --> 0:00:28.760 whisper for intense relaxation, for sleep. It's like I'm going 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:36.560 to open my water bottle right now from So that's 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:40.200 a s MR. Sounds kind of sexy, doesn't sounds likely? Okay, 0:00:40.240 --> 0:00:43.280 So you may not recognize this voice because it's not Jared, 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:46.479 it's not Dean. There. I don't know where they are exactly, 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:49.640 but they're not in today. Well, welcome to another episode 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:52.160 of Help I Suck a Dating. I'm one of your 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:56.480 three co hosts. Vanessa and I got the wonderful, beautiful MICHAELA. Whiteman. 0:00:56.560 --> 0:01:01.080 Am I saying that right? Whiteman? Whiteman white, white white man, yes, 0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:03.240 white man. Hello, Hi, thank you for having me. So, 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:06.840 if you're a basslor fan, MICHAELA was on season which 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.960 season of The Bachelor Canada season three and it stopped 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:12.800 after that. There's no more. I wonder what happens. I 0:01:12.840 --> 0:01:15.840 don't wonder what I've done or what did he do 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:21.639 on him. So, MICHAELA was on season three of Bachelor Canada. 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:25.959 She didn't get engaged to the Bachelor Chris LaRue, but 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:29.200 they did end up together kind of like Colton season. 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:34.200 Kind of like Colton season. Um, Colton, Cassie did not 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:37.520 get it, did not end up getting engaged, which I 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:41.200 actually think is a smart thing to do. Well with 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:43.479 the track record, I would agree with you. Yeah, well 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:45.920 offense to us. Well, I mean, listen, there's there's been 0:01:46.000 --> 0:01:50.280 zero divorce rates in the Bachelor world, zero, but there's 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:53.400 been a lot of engagements that have failed and that 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:55.760 does make me sad. Well yes, yeah, yeah, because I 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:57.680 don't you know, I remember like getting so many messages 0:01:57.720 --> 0:01:59.040 from girls like, oh my god, is that what I 0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.000 need to do to go on this on like to 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:02.920 get find to find love. I'm like, no, you don't 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:05.480 have to go on the Bachelor to find love. Like 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:09.200 it does happen. It did happen for the both of us. However, Um, 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:11.360 reality hit and when it hit, it hit it hit 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:15.040 us hard. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely, So now that you're out 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:20.440 of contract, give us all the GC details. What ended 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:22.359 up happening between you guys, because I want to talk 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:26.079 about So Michael is no longer with The Bachelor, I'm 0:02:26.120 --> 0:02:28.120 no longer with Nick, and I think it's been about 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:29.959 for you. For me, it's going to be two years 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:32.119 in August and Nick and I broke up, and for 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:36.000 you it's a little longer, honestly because we broke up 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:38.919 so quickly. It's been probably a year and half, right 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:41.240 because you broke up during the show when the show 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:44.320 was airing, so by the time before the show even aired. 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:46.919 Let me just correct you there, we call it quick. Okay. 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:49.640 So we're gonna talk a lot about dating UM in 0:02:49.680 --> 0:02:53.040 the real world, the dudes and don't of dating UM. 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:58.000 I openly talk about having a lot of anxiety, and 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:00.919 MICHAELA you openly talk about it on your on your 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:03.280 Instagram as well. So I want to talk about ways 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:06.840 that we can help build self confidence UM and cultivate 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:09.760 this like idea that we do deserve love and we 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:12.000 do deserve all the really great things and just try 0:03:12.040 --> 0:03:15.240 to empower other people UM to believe that too. So 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:19.000 what ended up happening with you guys? Well, So, like 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:23.000 I said, we kind of ended things maybe only two 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:25.799 months after we finished filming, so at the time the 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:28.960 show it aired, it was like long over. I felt 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:31.840 like he made a second attempt to kind of make 0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:34.200 things better when it was coming up to the after 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:36.880 the final roles filming, and in hindsight, I'd now believe 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:39.600 that was full blown strategy. I think that he just 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:41.440 didn't want me to make him look like a dead 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:43.560 on TV, so he tried to make me feel like 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:46.720 things were gonna get better. So he manipulated. He thought 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:51.280 he was manipulating you. Yescent felt like that after and 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:53.920 then so what ended up happening on the show. I 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:56.040 don't really think you always get the whole truth. You know, 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:58.560 you have parts of the truth, you know, the edited truth. 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:02.680 But Sis and I were kind of decided that it 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:03.840 was going to be yes at the end. I think 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.040 maybe it was similar to your situation, like you knew 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:09.400 a little bit more in advance. Not really, Nope, never 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:13.800 like an inkling of anything. I thought going into um 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:16.800 the last like the engagement, I'm like, he's not going 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:18.320 to pick me because he had tears in his eyes 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:19.960 and I was like, like, this is him saying like 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:23.159 it's not you. Um, But ye know, I didn't. I didn't. 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:25.400 I kind of rode through the whole thing very confident, 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:27.599 like I felt like we were on the same page. 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:29.480 I felt like it was going to be me and 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:31.720 to the point that for the fantasy street dates, he 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:34.719 had told me that he wasn't going to be intimate 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:38.719 with the other contestant, and I took that information and 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:41.240 I thought it was the truth. And I found out 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:44.279 after that that wasn't really how it all shook down, 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:48.520 and I confronted him about it, and I felt lied 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:51.040 to and I felt deceived. And that's a whole part 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:52.479 of the reason why we didn't, you know, want to 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:54.200 move forward with the engagement at the end, because we 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:58.040 were kind of starting their relationship on a lack of trust. Yeah. Yeah, 0:04:58.080 --> 0:05:01.240 So to get engaged right after learned that someone's already 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:03.320 deceived you, it's just not really the way I want 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:04.760 to live my life, well, not even to just get 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:06.880 engaged to start a relationship. So I want to talk 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.800 about the dues and don'ts of a relationship. And that's like, 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:15.320 for me, the biggest no no is lying seriously, I don't, 0:05:15.520 --> 0:05:18.479 look lawyer, no, I don't. What's the point where I'm 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:21.000 someone who. I guess I'm the total opposite, because I 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:24.120 want someone who's not gonna lie about anything. I am 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:26.039 so honest. Example, i was in the car with my 0:05:26.040 --> 0:05:28.320 boyfriend the other day and I was making reservations for 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:31.000 breakfast for my family for seven people, big gang of people, 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:34.040 and I'm like, hey, I'm just making a reservation for seven, 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:36.479 and they're like, okay, perfect, we confirmed you for twelve o'clock. 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:38.440 I'm like, well, it's not a hundred confirm because I'm 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:40.360 calling another restaurant to see if I can get into 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:42.400 that restaurant. And he's looking at me, He's like, why 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:44.680 are you saying this. I'm like, because I'm just so honest. 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:47.120 I don't know how to lie. What else do you say? 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:49.480 Just the truth? Just the truth. And so what ended 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:52.080 up happening is I did get the other restaurant reservation. 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:54.120 So I called the other restaurant. I said, hey, just 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:56.159 like I you know, I had previously mentioned I have 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:58.080 to cancel. Like, thank you so much for your honesty, 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:01.040 and I'm like, see, honesty goes a long way. So 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:07.600 that's my biggest thing for um uh relationships like the 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:10.680 dues and don't of a relationship because I struggle with 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:14.120 chest issues, and I talked about this a lot um. 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:16.600 I'm a huge advocate for mental health. I'm in therapy, 0:06:16.960 --> 0:06:20.599 you know. I think it's important to know what your 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:25.760 struggles are prior to entering a relationship. UM and understanding 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:30.120 how can I help myself when something is happening that 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:34.159 could really heighten my insecurities. UM and lies for me 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:37.240 are the biggest, Like it's a huge just like it's 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:40.520 a really big setback. And another big no no is 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.520 what Chris did to you on the show call you 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:44.080 by the wrong day. Oh yeah, you want to make 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:47.599 sure that your boyfriend knows your name? That's uh number one? Yeah, 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:49.520 get the first name down, pad and then we can 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:51.120 move on to the next step. But yeah, no, that 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:54.760 was completely embarrassing and uh, it was not done for TV. 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:59.800 That was a legitimate uh and yeah that one burned 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:01.760 came to break in here, ladies. But we actually have 0:07:02.000 --> 0:07:04.560 a we have a caller on the line, Dr Jeannette, 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:07.880 who wants to help out Vanessa with your eye problem. 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:13.040 Will the internet, So she's on the line right now 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:15.640 if you want to say hi, Hi, Dr Jeanette, Thank 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:18.600 you so much for calling in. Hey, good morning everyone, 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:22.480 my pleasure. Hi. So we got MICHAELA and myself Vanessa 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:26.400 Um in studio and I woke up one morning I 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:28.880 think it was a couple of days ago. Actually wasn't 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:30.720 one morning. It was right before going in bed. My 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:33.440 eye lid was a little bit irritated, and I'm like, oh, 0:07:33.520 --> 0:07:35.480 maybe it was because I was crying all day. No, 0:07:35.880 --> 0:07:38.920 I just ended up having this big I don't know 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:40.600 what it was. I guess it was a sty. This 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:43.000 morning it is a lot a lot better. And then 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:45.760 someone's like, what if it's pink I And I'm like, well, 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:48.440 isn't What is pinky first of all? And what is 0:07:48.480 --> 0:07:52.160 a sty? Can you first define those two? Sure? Sure, 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:54.080 First of all, I hope you are feeling better. But 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:58.680 pink is just street term for conjunctive vitus um, which 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:01.800 is the white part of your I actually turn pink 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:04.880 red and that's why it's called pink eye. And it 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:07.600 could be pink for many different reasons. It could be 0:08:07.640 --> 0:08:10.560 a bacterial infection where you need eye drops, or it 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.320 could be allergies believe it or not, and sometimes it 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:15.840 could be a virus. And for some people if they 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:18.760 accidentally flash a chemical or bleach or whatever in their eye, 0:08:18.800 --> 0:08:21.480 their eye will turn pink or red. So many different 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:24.600 causes for it, but it's definitely treatable. But if if 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:26.120 you have it for like a long port of time, 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:28.720 you shouldn't go see your doctor right away because we 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:31.720 don't want any like long term complications. But so that's 0:08:31.720 --> 0:08:37.560 a pink eye is conjumptivetus and that's really contagious. Yeah, 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:40.439 it's like a huge method. If you fart on your 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:49.560 pillow and then now, now, if your pillow case is 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:52.760 dirty and asn't been washed in a while, can you 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:57.280 pick up infections? That's a possibility, um, because for example, 0:08:57.360 --> 0:09:01.400 a sky um, which is an infection at the base 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:05.959 of your eyelashes, usually caused um by blockages of glands, 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:10.160 can be due to bacterial infections like picking up germs 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:12.959 or you know, everybody has bacterial his fingertips. They don't 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:16.120 wash their fingers and you rubbed your eyes, you can 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:19.400 develop a stud because it's usually caused by staff infection, 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.240 that sort of thing. Um. So you know, that's that's 0:09:22.280 --> 0:09:25.360 a big issue hygiene. And if you're not washing your 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:28.679 hands properly, if you're rubbing your eyes, if you're like 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:32.800 letting people share your mass gara or your eyeliner. I 0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:36.319 think it might makeup done the week of by a 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:39.359 makeup artist. Yeah, and I mean they use the same brushes, 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:43.400 I guess, and they using cleaning cleaning tools, like if 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:46.880 she's sterilizing, you know what she uses. I think most 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:50.160 most makeup artists can do. But we've gotta gotta keep 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:53.400 an eye on that. But um for most people with studs, 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.800 because they can be painful if you're painful. Mine wasn't. 0:09:56.840 --> 0:10:00.200 It wasn't painful. I just it felt really heavy my 0:10:00.200 --> 0:10:02.120 eyelid and I had an event that night I had 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:04.520 to cancel, and I guess it just was like a 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:06.440 dent on myself esteem because I was like, well, what 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:08.280 if I wear an eye patch and I'd be dazzled 0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:09.760 and I just leave the house and that I'd be 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:11.679 super cool, right, But I couldn't find an eye patch 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:15.520 and then my yes, I guess it was just like 0:10:16.000 --> 0:10:18.800 it started to yet. Last night was when the swelling 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:20.959 really started to go down, and that's when it became 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:22.960 really itchy. And then I noticed a lot of my 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:25.120 eyelashes start to fall off, and I was like, what 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:28.880 was happening? Were you rubbing your eye a lot, because 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:31.520 sometimes people that you rub your eyes a lot, that 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:35.120 can cause the worsening irritation. But the best thing to 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:38.839 do if this happens again for Sky is a warm contrast. 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:41.120 Believe it or not, a lot of times they'll they'll 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:44.560 go away on their own, but using a warm compress 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:49.280 and even sometimes antibiotic appointment might help. But there's not 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.960 like a lot of clear evidence that it's number one treatment. 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:57.400 But using warm compresses give it, giving it time and 0:10:57.600 --> 0:11:02.120 how much time sometimes antibiotics it um. So it's different. 0:11:02.120 --> 0:11:04.360 Everyone's different. It can be anywhere from a few days 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:08.240 to a few weeks. Hide hidien is really important. I 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:09.760 I al feel like you tell my patients, like when 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:12.960 you're in the shower, take a couple of drops of Johnson's. 0:11:13.000 --> 0:11:16.040 Johnson are types of baby shampoo. Pre on your fingertips 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:20.920 and very gently washed the base of your eyelashes very gently. 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:22.880 And of course I'll always say throw out your makeup, 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:25.120 make sure no one else is using it um because 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:30.440 sometimes it can be contaminated. Well, anything that you would 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:33.880 put on your on your eyes, like mascara, eyelashes, eyeliners 0:11:33.880 --> 0:11:37.240 that the little applicators that you used to buy eyeshadow 0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:39.960 as well, could be contaminated, and so you can you know, 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:45.320 get continue of recurrent infection. UM and makeup brushes as well. 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:49.040 It's really important. But anytime you feel one coming, the 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:51.480 best thing to do right away is make sure you 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:54.640 put some more compresses. Make sure you're drinking lots of water, 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:58.800 believe it or not, because dehydration and getting not getting 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.240 enough sleep, not getting a good roll Once diet can 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:03.480 you know flow down the healing process and make you 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:08.040 more prone transfections. That's important as well. Perfect well, Dr Jeannette, 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:10.640 thank you so much for calling in. My eye is 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:13.400 feeling better, but I definitely don't drink enough water, so 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:16.600 I will take your advice on that one. Um. Good, 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:19.000 I'm glad you're feeling better. Yes, thank you so much 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:21.559 for calling in. Its much pleasure. You have a wonderful day. 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:28.640 Thank you. Likewise, yes, well, speaking of wanting to stay healthy, 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:30.360 when was the latic? I want to ask you, when 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:32.920 was the last time you went to dermatologist or have 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:35.800 you ever been? I don't think I've ever been to dermatology. 0:12:35.800 --> 0:12:38.640 I have not either. Isn't that crazy? Yes? That is 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:40.760 crazy for some people. They may have gone, but it's 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:44.360 probably a while since you've been to dermatologists. So there's 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:47.480 high price department store brands. We all know those ones, 0:12:47.679 --> 0:12:52.240 gimmickey marketing tricks to disappointing products that often don't perform. 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:55.080 It's impossible to know where to put your trust in 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:57.559 your money. We make money, we want to make sure 0:12:57.559 --> 0:12:59.800 that we're spending it wisely. The truth is we are 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:03.199 trying to look eighteen again, but we but looking like 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:06.760 we sleep seven hours and more and drink a glasses 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:09.480 of water every day would be ideal. Yes, I mean, 0:13:09.600 --> 0:13:10.880 I don't know how many hours to sleep do you 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:13.520 get tonight? Not that many? No, No, I'm like a 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:16.000 six hour kind of sleeper. Yeah. I feel like if 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:18.800 I sleep over eight hours, or even if I hit 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:21.560 like eight and up, I'll be drowsy the next day. Yes, 0:13:21.559 --> 0:13:23.560 oh yeah, yeah, there's like a certain number of hours 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:25.760 I want to be sleeping. But I don't drink enough water, 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:29.360 that's for sure. Eg glasses what peeing every five seconds? 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:31.720 But I have to start so. Our skin deserves more 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.800 than just a trend, and there's so many different trends 0:13:35.000 --> 0:13:38.720 trends happening nowadays. It deserves to get the real freaking 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:41.960 Deal for Hers dot Com f O R H E 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:45.000 r S dot Com is the new woman's wellness brand, 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:48.360 cutting the cost and delivering you one of dermatologists go 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:52.199 to solution for aging skin. Michaelis turning twenty nine and 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:55.040 next week the last year of the I need some 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:57.600 of this. I'm in my thirties, um, but I think 0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:00.559 you know, prevention is a huge thing in your when 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:02.440 you're in your twenties, you know, you want to make 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:04.440 sure that you're using the right products and the right 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:08.480 brands in order to avoid the whole aging game later on, 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:10.240 or not avoid, but at least like try to slow 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:14.040 down the process. So fought for by a woman. So 0:14:14.160 --> 0:14:16.000 for her dot Com is fought for by a woman 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:18.480 for women, And I love that because there's so many 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:21.240 products out there that are made by men, like our 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:24.080 tampon center, you know, like it's created by men. 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You know, there's 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:26.520 no point of especially out here like having to go 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:29.880 to see a doctor and the lineups of the pharmacy 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:32.880 and the insurance papers and all that. So something to 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:35.720 look into. Mick, Yes, need to pump the brakes on 0:15:35.760 --> 0:15:41.000 that aging. But speaking of dating, since we were just 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:45.600 talking about this before, Dr Jeanette called in, Um, we're 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.160 in an age. I just started reading this book, The 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:50.560 Happiness Equation by Neil pess Reche. I don't know if 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:53.240 I'm saying his last name properly. And it's basically if 0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:55.480 you go to chapters or Indigo. It's this blue book 0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:59.880 and it talks about it talks about um ways to 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:03.320 be happy, and it's like it's it seems like such 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:05.920 a simple equation to do, but there's so many things 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:08.720 that are hindering us to get there. And right now, 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:13.240 people who are living in this dating culture, we're living 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:17.840 in a culture where it's a culture of more versus 0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:20.640 back in the day when it was a culture of enough. 0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:23.600 So now we want that, God, we want there's like 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:26.480 more dating apps, there's more just more like decision, there's 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:30.920 like there's there's so much of everything right um, people 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.040 want to date more than one person at once. Our 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:36.960 partner needs more money, more education, more muscles, a bigger house, 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:39.480 like more and more and more and more versus just 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:42.360 when is it enough? And I remember having this conversation 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:44.600 with a friend of mine who's a doctor, and he's like, 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:47.680 I'm scared I'm gonna get to that point where it'll 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:49.400 never be enough. I have like a nice house, but 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:52.080 maybe I'm gonna want a nicer car, and then once 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:55.000 I get the nicer car, I'm gonna want a prettier woman. 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:56.640 And then once I get the pretty woman, I'm gonna 0:16:56.640 --> 0:17:02.040 want a private island, and it's like, when is it enough? Well, 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:04.199 I mean it's kind of sad because it kind of 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:06.800 speaks to the fact that we're not as content in 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:10.240 things and we're always searching for something more, something more. 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:14.200 And I think it's also funny because it also relates 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:17.520 back to the fact that everybody has the same needs 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:20.000 and problems, and no matter whether you have the island 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:22.200 or whether you don't, or whether you just have a 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:26.159 Honda you have a BMW, everybody still wants more, no 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:28.080 matter where they are in that place. So everybody has 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:30.640 the same problems. It's just a different level of the problem, right, 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:33.800 It's all relative to what you're going through. Absolutely, And 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.400 I feel like we do have enough, probably a lot, 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:40.120 a lot more than enough. Yes, in some cases, so 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:42.720 much more than they need. And I think obviously would 0:17:42.720 --> 0:17:45.719 be ideal if that was distributed amongst people more evenly, 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:48.240 But I don't. I mean, well, when it comes to love, 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:52.119 what is enough? What's enough for relationship instead of So 0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:55.000 I know I'm someone because I do a lot of 0:17:55.040 --> 0:18:02.760 introspective work and I'm someone that will look Maybe it's 0:18:02.760 --> 0:18:04.560 because of my chest issues, but I think a lot 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:07.760 of people can relate to this. Men. Women. Um, I 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:10.159 look for a problem in a relationship, I find what 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:12.879 the problem is, and then I try to improve the 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:16.679 problem instead of not trying to find what instead of 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:19.480 poking holes in the relationship, like I tend to sometimes 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:22.240 like hone in on something that bothers me, and I 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:25.560 have to learn how to pick and choose my battles. Yes, 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:27.600 because some things you just have to accept, because if 0:18:27.600 --> 0:18:30.280 you nippick at every single thing, nobody is perfect. Not 0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:33.800 any relationship is going to be perfect. So at some 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:35.679 point you have to just accept the fact that there 0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:37.320 are things that aren't going to be perfect. And if 0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:40.080 you can accept those and internalize them and be happy, 0:18:40.119 --> 0:18:42.040 then So what's a huge red flight fee? What's something 0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:43.840 that you're like, I can't look past this. This is 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:47.560 like a huge no note for me. Well, you're in 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.960 a relationship now. So Michael is dating someone so excited. 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:53.800 Michael is from Toronto. Well you were born and raised 0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:57.440 in Toronto. Winnipeg shows, but in Toronto for ten years. 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:01.560 People in the States are like when it was Winnibeg. Um, 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:05.320 So she just moved yesterday to Montreal. So we're in 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:08.359 a Montreal studio right now recording. She's dating a French 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:12.959 Canadian in Montreal, so super excited about that. Um So, 0:19:13.160 --> 0:19:16.840 MICHAELA was doing long distance for how long? Four or 0:19:16.840 --> 0:19:19.119 five months? Four or five months? And I always feel 0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:21.880 like long distance relationships, I get this. I get asked 0:19:21.920 --> 0:19:24.520 this a lot. If I'm an advocate for it, Yeah, 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:27.160 do it, but you need to know. Set a time 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:29.879 limit for me long distance relationships. I've done it a 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:32.920 handful of times. Six months was my time limit. After 0:19:33.000 --> 0:19:35.879 six months, it's like, if we're not moving forward and 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:39.080 if we're stagnant, then I something needs to give. And 0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:42.639 so you're the one, yes, that decided to move to 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:46.239 Montreal for the relationship. I did. Yes. I mean what 0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:47.760 you're saying is so true. There has to be an 0:19:47.880 --> 0:19:49.479 end game, Like you cannot just be in a long 0:19:49.520 --> 0:19:51.520 distance relationship that has no end. You never know if 0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:52.879 you're gonna be able to live in the same city. 0:19:52.880 --> 0:19:54.960 But we were very aware of the fact that we 0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:57.399 could make the move eventually, whether it was him or I, 0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:00.600 And I mean I love Montreal, so it was me. 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:02.600 This year she was montag because she was gone for 0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:05.520 most of the winter. Yeah. Yeah, she's living on vacation. 0:20:05.960 --> 0:20:08.159 I missed the winter. Um, but I mean I do 0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:09.840 love Montreal and I'm I'm you know, I think if 0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:12.560 it's the right person, you you know in your heart 0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:15.160 that you want to make that move and you're not afraid, 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:17.639 Like I'm not afraid. It's scary because I mean you 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:20.399 have to. I have a friend who might be moving 0:20:20.400 --> 0:20:22.679 out of the city. And one thing you have to 0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:27.120 realize is you're going your identity is kind of like 0:20:27.440 --> 0:20:31.199 your identity was in Toronto, but it was also in California. Um, 0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:33.719