Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: From New York City, the only city in America. It's
Speaker 2: the show that you think you news. This is the
Speaker 2: Daily Show with your host, Leslie Shoon. Ye welcome, says
Speaker 2: a Daily Show. I'm your host, Leslie Jones, and I'm
Speaker 2: back for day two.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: You can't get rid of me, no matter how many
Speaker 2: of those healthy snacks you put in my dressing room.
Speaker 2: And tonight is gonna be the best show ever because
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be interviewing Steve Karnakilly.
Speaker 1: I love him.
Speaker 2: Okay, do you take care of like my dress? Do
Speaker 2: I need to put on glasses so I can seem smart?
Speaker 2: Like you know, I want to be smart? Okay, Okay,
Speaker 2: how many states are there? Because he's gonna ask me
Speaker 2: how many states there are, Steve, He's gonna ask me
Speaker 2: how many How many are there? Somebody tell me fifty one? Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 2: you know what.
Speaker 1: Deep breath, deep breath. Okay, we're all gonna be calm,
Speaker 1: deep breath. Now, let's get these headlines. Let's kick things
Speaker 1: off with the Supreme Court.
Speaker 2: Oh, they make rules for everyone else to live by.
Speaker 2: What we're allowed to say? What we can do with
Speaker 2: our bodies, how gay our.
Speaker 1: Cakes can be.
Speaker 2: But it turns out that they we had no rules
Speaker 2: from themselves until now.
Speaker 3: Let's turn out to an historic move by the Supreme Court,
Speaker 3: the nine Justices adopting a formal code of conduct for
Speaker 3: the first time in the Court's history this morning.
Speaker 4: A formal code of conduct now in place. After a
Speaker 4: steady drip of stories on some of the justice's undisclosed trips,
Speaker 4: private jet rides, and other perks, this fourteen page document,
Speaker 4: signed by all nine justices, now laying out how they
Speaker 4: should avoid the appearance of impropriety when to recuse from
Speaker 4: a case, and reaffirming the existing rules around gifts. Public
Speaker 4: pressure to do something has been mounting in recent months
Speaker 4: after reporting about Justice Clarence Thomas in particular and year's
Speaker 4: worth of unreported luxury vacations paid for by a top
Speaker 4: conservative mega downer, something Thomas said he believed he didn't
Speaker 4: need to report at the time.
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2: You don't pretend that you didn't know the stuff you
Speaker 2: did was wrong until now. Having good judgment is the
Speaker 2: entire point of being a judge. Okay, you're supposed to
Speaker 2: weigh everything and make a smart decision. That's why there's
Speaker 2: a bitch with a scale outside your office.
Speaker 1: Just ask her.
Speaker 2: But now they finally have some ethics rules, which is
Speaker 2: so embarrassing the Supreme Court when thousands of years without
Speaker 2: needing an ethics code until these corrupt baskets came along.
Speaker 2: It's like how tide Pods had to add do not
Speaker 2: eat label after all them TikTok has started dying.
Speaker 1: And you know what, here's what really pisses me off.
Speaker 2: Though the Ethics Code isn't even enforceable, so it's not
Speaker 2: gonna be.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna work.
Speaker 2: Okay, if you want to hold people accountable, you got
Speaker 2: to be able to fire them. Like I used to
Speaker 2: work at ups and I did a good job because
Speaker 2: I could get fired. But if I couldn't get fired,
Speaker 2: do you know how many things I would have did
Speaker 2: to them? Package do you know how many of my
Speaker 2: ex boyfriends would have got a horse's head?
Speaker 1: Let's move on to the Congress.
Speaker 2: On a normal day, Congress is the place where America's
Speaker 2: representatives gathered together for a respectful debate about the issues.
Speaker 2: But today one senator wanted all.
Speaker 3: The smoke and the intense level of frustration being seen
Speaker 3: in the Senate. Check out this nasty exchange involving Oklahoma
Speaker 3: Republican Mark Wayne mullen, Teinster's leader Sean O'Brien, and then
Speaker 3: Bernie Sanders trying to play peacemaker.
Speaker 5: You tweeted at me one, two, three, four, five times
Speaker 5: and let me read what the last one said. Quit
Speaker 5: the tough guy act in these Senate hearings. You know
Speaker 5: where to find me any place, anytime, cowboy.
Speaker 1: Sorry, this is a time.
Speaker 5: This is a place. If you want to run your mouth,
Speaker 5: we can be too consenting adults.
Speaker 1: We can finish it here.
Speaker 6: Okay, that's fine, perfect, you want to do it now,
Speaker 6: I'd love to do it right now.
Speaker 1: We'll stand your butt up. Then you stand your butt.
Speaker 7: Up, we'll stop it your pullet.
Speaker 8: Oh no, sit down.
Speaker 1: You know you're a United States Senate.
Speaker 9: Back to Funday, shut up.
Speaker 1: That was about the fight.
Speaker 2: I want to see that. But you know what I
Speaker 2: knew this dude was trouble from the moment I heard
Speaker 2: his name, Mark Way all one word his parents. His
Speaker 2: parents didn't even love him enough to pick one single
Speaker 2: name for him.
Speaker 1: They just shut up two names together and called it today.
Speaker 2: Calm down, Mark Wayne. Isn't some shit I want to
Speaker 2: hear on c SPAN. It's what you hear when you
Speaker 2: watch an episode of Cops. But more importantly, is that
Speaker 2: what America has come to?
Speaker 1: People fighting in the Senate because it is it as
Speaker 1: I won't inn Lindsey Graham. I want you and the right.
Speaker 2: Tag crow bring your weird ass.
Speaker 1: I can beat your ass.
Speaker 2: Mitch Mitch, Mitch. Oh, somebody already hit him.
Speaker 1: All right. Finally, it's almost Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2: That time of the year you got to listen to
Speaker 2: all your worst relatives complaining about things that they just
Speaker 2: don't understand.
Speaker 1: And this year the complaining started early.
Speaker 7: Macy's has been drawn into the culture wars, facing backlash
Speaker 7: this morning over its annual Thanksgiving Day parade. Nearly twenty
Speaker 7: thousand people have signed a petition blasting the upcoming event
Speaker 7: as a quote non binary and transgender extrafaganza. They're upset
Speaker 7: that two non binary Broadway stars are scheduled to perform,
Speaker 7: including Alex Newall, who just won a Tony Award. The
Speaker 7: group behind the petition claims Macy's does not have the
Speaker 7: best interests of children in mind.
Speaker 2: What wait minute, sorry, did I miss something? Did we
Speaker 2: solve world hunger?
Speaker 10: Is war over?
Speaker 1: Is the homeless crisis done?
Speaker 2: Because the stranger's genitals in a parade is literally the
Speaker 2: last thing someone should be worrying about right now.
Speaker 1: When it comes to parades, the only thing you are allowed.
Speaker 2: To complain about is the trassy. Y'all do so much complaining.
Speaker 2: That's why your turkey tastes like burnt asshole because you
Speaker 2: focusing on the wrong thing.
Speaker 1: Put the Internet down.
Speaker 2: And pick up a turkey based stuff. Who's even watching
Speaker 2: the parade nowadays?
Speaker 1: You did? You not finish all of Netflix?
Speaker 2: To be honest, for a long time, I didn't think
Speaker 2: that the Macy's Day Parade was even a real thing.
Speaker 2: I thought it was just a make a wish thing
Speaker 2: for our roker.
Speaker 1: For more on the.
Speaker 2: Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Let's go live to Macy's and
Speaker 2: Harrold Square.
Speaker 1: With Dull Say Sloan, do go.
Speaker 2: What do you make about the people complaining about this parade?
Speaker 1: I need I think they need to figure out what
Speaker 1: they want.
Speaker 11: I mean, they're so obsessed with general rolls and who's
Speaker 11: got what genitals?
Speaker 4: Then?
Speaker 11: Do we want to make the balloons anatomically correct?
Speaker 1: Do they need to see Clifford's big red.
Speaker 11: Dog coming down the street. And what about SpongeBob? What's
Speaker 11: in them square pants? And can we talk about the
Speaker 11: fact that he's a kitchen sponge in the seat? See
Speaker 11: that's always bothered me. You know what, we need to
Speaker 11: get that figured out before we talk about his dick. Listen,
Speaker 11: parades are gay?
Speaker 1: All right? To their court?
Speaker 11: Listen, you got colorful costumes, choreography.
Speaker 2: Ponies and Charlie Brown serving face.
Speaker 1: And everyone is happy. Only gay people can do that,
Speaker 1: all right? All parades are gay? Preparades?
Speaker 2: Well, well, you know not every parade is gay.
Speaker 1: What about the Clinton in march? Still pretty game?
Speaker 8: Miss Lovely?
Speaker 1: Think about it. That marching is choreography. Those robes, it's
Speaker 1: a costume.
Speaker 11: And once again ponies, now they're not serving face because
Speaker 11: you know, huh, but.
Speaker 1: You know, not everyone can.
Speaker 2: I mean, okay, duel think let me ask you something.
Speaker 1: What type of parade would make you happy?
Speaker 10: I thought you never asked? Okay, all right, picture this, okay,
Speaker 10: Morris Chestnut right.
Speaker 11: Leading a troop of Morris Chestnuts, dancing under a balloon
Speaker 11: of Morris Chestnut and rounding up the back as an
Speaker 11: oiled up MOR's chestnut roasting over an open door set.
Speaker 2: How can we make that?
Speaker 10: How can we go bro, I'm trying to go from me.
Speaker 2: Come on, I'm.
Speaker 1: Got to give it now, give it up.
Speaker 2: Where we come back, we'll find out the newest way
Speaker 2: to get a hunt. So don't go away. Welcome back
Speaker 2: to the Daily Show.
Speaker 1: We hear a lot.
Speaker 2: About how people are so lonely these days, but some
Speaker 2: of them have found a solution.
Speaker 1: Troy Ewada went to find out more human touch. Is
Speaker 1: it a good thing?
Speaker 6: Some people crave it, weird and now it's easier than
Speaker 6: ever for them to get it.
Speaker 12: One of those booming businesses professional cuddling.
Speaker 6: Christie actually professional cuddler, and Josh is her client.
Speaker 10: A lot of times people are just looking for someone
Speaker 10: to just spend some time with.
Speaker 6: As one who goes through life avoiding human contact, I
Speaker 6: wasn't thrilled about meeting someone who made a living from
Speaker 6: touching other people. I have to admit it does sound
Speaker 6: a bit scammy. Seems like you're just ripping off people
Speaker 6: who've never heard of a body pillow.
Speaker 8: It is not just about the physical act of cuddling.
Speaker 8: The body pillow cannot talk to you, right, I.
Speaker 6: Would see the fact that my pillows can't talk back
Speaker 6: to me as an asset.
Speaker 8: I totally understand that. But we have a code of conduct.
Speaker 8: We talk a lot about consent.
Speaker 6: And how does one become a cuddalyst? Do you need
Speaker 6: a degree like a physical therapist or is it like
Speaker 6: a fake certification like a sandwich artist.
Speaker 8: It's fine to be skeptical, but when you have nurturing
Speaker 8: touch that is very much wanted, your level of oxytocin
Speaker 8: increases in your body. You are flooded with these wonderful
Speaker 8: few good love hormones, so touch the privation. This links
Speaker 8: to a lot of things. It can be linked to impulsiveness, anxiety, stress,
Speaker 8: and low job performance.
Speaker 6: Troy, that's amazing, that's fascinating.
Speaker 8: What it seems like you might be a good candidate
Speaker 8: for professional cuddling.
Speaker 10: I'm fine.
Speaker 8: How do you deal with stress and anxiety?
Speaker 6: I deal with it like most normal humans do.
Speaker 8: I think they're probably healthier ways you can deal with
Speaker 8: your anxiety.
Speaker 6: Okay, Well, my self therapy is free and only requires
Speaker 6: a nearby abandoned warehouse, whereas these cuddle sessions could cost
Speaker 6: anywhere from eighty to one hundred and fifty dollars?
Speaker 10: Who would pay for that? I've been a cuddle client
Speaker 10: for about two years.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 6: What type of responses do you get when you tell
Speaker 6: people that you're a cuddle client?
Speaker 10: Why would you do that? Is it safe? Is there
Speaker 10: sex involved? I thought that, Yeah, I've gotten desperate. Are
Speaker 10: you horny?
Speaker 6: Are you single?
Speaker 10: It's so none of the above.
Speaker 6: So you are in a relationship. So what was your
Speaker 6: partner's reaction?
Speaker 10: My partner said, is there something that's lacking here? The
Speaker 10: answer was absolutely not. It was more about self care.
Speaker 6: Now, what are the benefits, you know, other than getting
Speaker 6: rid of all that extra money in your bank account?
Speaker 10: I just feel more personally resourced, cared for.
Speaker 6: Why cuddling when there are so many other obvious ways
Speaker 6: to deal with your emotions? Like what?
Speaker 10: Why don't you come observe a session?
Speaker 13: Okay, how long does this normally go?
Speaker 10: This is gonna go for about an hour? Quietly? Silently?
Speaker 6: Oh the cops, I I mean quiet, I'm not even
Speaker 6: you're here. Hi, it's it's me again. I So, just
Speaker 6: to confirm there's nothing sexual like happening here.
Speaker 12: Would you like to just sit down and ask some questions?
Speaker 6: Absolutely? I would really enjoy that oh, okay, thank you
Speaker 6: so much for that. It's up and close, VIP and
Speaker 6: the splash zone. Could you explain how you can participate
Speaker 6: in something so intimate without wanting to take it a
Speaker 6: step further?
Speaker 12: The most important thing is that if at any point
Speaker 12: she is uncomfortable, that she will let me know. If
Speaker 12: I'm uncomfortable, I will let her know.
Speaker 6: So how do we break down the stigma and negative
Speaker 6: connotations for all those closed minded oaths?
Speaker 10: I think we normalize it by talking about it and
Speaker 10: just letting people know that there's something that they may
Speaker 10: not have considered.
Speaker 12: You could try a cuttle session.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, well.
Speaker 10: Just no, none, right, this is my session. Okay, it's
Speaker 10: a book a session, okay, exactly.
Speaker 6: Okay, I needed a moment before I willingly spooned a stranger.
Speaker 6: I do see there are benefits, and I have been stressed.
Speaker 6: We've got climate change, race relations, people drinking orange juice
Speaker 6: with pulp. Just eat an orange. But it doesn't mean
Speaker 6: I have intimacy issues. Okay, maybe there is some stuff
Speaker 6: I need to work on. Bernadette does seem at peace,
Speaker 6: and what's the worst that could happen? I get a
Speaker 6: well needed nap.
Speaker 7: Yaha, it was cuddle time.
Speaker 6: This is amazing. Is it gonna cost extra it if
Speaker 6: I like open up the floodgates a little bit?
Speaker 1: Not at all? Why Why do you let me quick? Yana?
Speaker 10: That's the cuddlists were right.
Speaker 6: I felt transformed and my hormones were flying high. I
Speaker 6: was a new man, ready to embrace the world through cuddles.
Speaker 10: Thank you, Joe.
Speaker 2: When we come back, Steve for Nacky be joining me
Speaker 2: on the shows of the Dollar.
Speaker 10: Welcome back to the Daily Show.
Speaker 2: My guest tonight is an author and a national political
Speaker 2: correspondent for NBC News and MSNBC, and I'm totally obsessed
Speaker 2: with him.
Speaker 1: He has gotten me through every election. He is the
Speaker 1: King of the Kakis, and he has an apartment in
Speaker 1: my heart.
Speaker 2: I have never met him in person until this.
Speaker 1: Moment, so I am so excited to.
Speaker 2: Welcome and finally see live and in person, right here
Speaker 2: for real, Steve Cornackay, Okay, so that's great to meet you.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so crazy that we've never met before,
Speaker 2: you know, so, I'm pretty sure you know that I'm
Speaker 2: totally obsessed.
Speaker 1: I've seen some clips.
Speaker 2: Would you like to see the big clip that they
Speaker 2: made of our love take take away, see Kanacky is
Speaker 2: the sexiest nerd on TV.
Speaker 1: When he would grab that thing and.
Speaker 2: Be like no and then mark on the boy, I
Speaker 2: was like, oh God, just keep solving the problems, mister Kanakay.
Speaker 1: Dammit, that is it's just sexy to me.
Speaker 10: What is that a seventh Is that a seventh scene?
Speaker 2: How do you put that calculator? I was like, what
Speaker 2: you're gonna tell me me exactly? Your cactus and your
Speaker 2: gap shirt and your regular time dude and your two
Speaker 2: tone belts you've.
Speaker 1: Been along to that.
Speaker 2: I am so embarrassed, but not really so when you're
Speaker 2: standing at that big h and you got that damn calculator,
Speaker 2: how do you keep all your facts straight?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 9: Fortunately, I mean we've got great technology now. It's amazing.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 9: I've been, as you say, an election nerd for a
Speaker 9: lot of my life, and what was possible on an
Speaker 9: election night, say twenty five years ago, is a fraction
Speaker 9: of what's possible now. So there's so much information loaded
Speaker 9: into that board. There's so much we can do with it.
Speaker 9: Any given county, any given state, any given congressional district,
Speaker 9: demographic information, so we're able to show what's happening in
Speaker 9: real time with a depth and I think a sophistication.
Speaker 9: Hopefully it just wasn't possible before.
Speaker 1: That was such a sophisticate. So let me ask a question.
Speaker 1: Do you know every single county?
Speaker 9: And I have at some point encountered all of them
Speaker 9: in getting ready for elections? There are three and forty three.
Speaker 1: I will admit this.
Speaker 9: I'll go through, you know, a state for an election,
Speaker 9: and when it is time to go for that state,
Speaker 9: I'll know them all, but I will not retain a
Speaker 9: lot of them afterwards. So it's the big swing states
Speaker 9: and presidentials I'm much stronger on than the states that
Speaker 9: aren't necessarily competitive.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have so many important I really do. Okay,
Speaker 2: so Biden is losing to Trump. Should we be freaked
Speaker 2: out right now?
Speaker 9: I mean, so, there's New York Times polls that came
Speaker 9: out last week the six states we think will decide
Speaker 9: the election in twenty twenty four, and yeah, they had
Speaker 9: Trump ahead in five of those six states. They are
Speaker 9: all states that Trump had lost in twenty twenty. So
Speaker 9: the thing that's interesting to me is if you look
Speaker 9: back at the twenty twenty election from this point, fall
Speaker 9: of twenty nineteen. On to election day, there was literally
Speaker 9: not a single poll that ever had Trump ahead of
Speaker 9: Biden nationally. We've now had multiple polls that show Trump
Speaker 9: ahead of Biden. So there is a different atmosphere around
Speaker 9: this looming and we'll see what happens in the primaries.
Speaker 9: But this is looking likely to be the matchup again,
Speaker 9: and Trump is showing a strength or Biden is showing
Speaker 9: a weakness that wasn't there the last time in the
Speaker 9: run up to the election. So I think I take it,
Speaker 9: I would take it very seriously.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, okay, King Steve, Why is Trump still able
Speaker 1: to run? Am I confused?
Speaker 2: What He's being indicted everywhere? How is he still able
Speaker 2: to run for president?
Speaker 9: Well, you know, look it's a two term limit, not
Speaker 9: a one term limit, so he can. You know, he's
Speaker 9: served one term. We haven't had a president in modern
Speaker 9: times lose reelection and then four years later say hey,
Speaker 9: I'm running again. You know, George Bush Senior went happily
Speaker 9: into retirement. Jimmy Carter went and built houses. You know,
Speaker 9: it's been a while since you have had a president
Speaker 9: try to do this, but you can, and you bring
Speaker 9: up all the legal issues around Trump. Those are hasn't
Speaker 9: been convicted of anything, and you know, it's obviously going
Speaker 9: to be a major factor, I think, just looming over
Speaker 9: the campaign. But from an eligibility standpoint, you know, it
Speaker 9: looks like there's you know, there's no issue that makes
Speaker 9: no sense.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, So it could it's a real chance that
Speaker 2: Trump becomes the Republican nominee.
Speaker 9: I mean, certainly, again, we're talking polls right now. He
Speaker 9: is at a level of dominance over that Republican field
Speaker 9: that we haven't seen from a candidate in a Republican
Speaker 9: contest in twenty four years. The last one was George W. Bush,
Speaker 9: and George W. Bush won the nomination in two thousand.
Speaker 9: He had leads the size that Trump has right now.
Speaker 9: This is the first time since Bush we've seen a
Speaker 9: Republican consistently pulling this well in the Republican primaries. Now,
Speaker 9: Bush did get a scare in two thousand. John McCain
Speaker 9: won some states put a scare into him. Maybe you know,
Speaker 9: a DeSantis, maybe a Haley. It's looking like if there's
Speaker 9: going to be a threat to him, it's one of
Speaker 9: those two.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Well, Okay, so I want to ask you to explain
Speaker 2: the electoral college, because I feel like that's something I.
Speaker 1: Can understand from you. Okay. I don't want to sound.
Speaker 2: Stupid in front of you, my love, but you don't
Speaker 2: know what the electorian college was. I just started with
Speaker 2: where politicians went to college to learn about politics.
Speaker 1: So what is it?
Speaker 9: It's I mean, it's a bit of a throwback to
Speaker 9: the earliest days of the country. But how it functions
Speaker 9: now is essentially the handed it. Who wins the vote
Speaker 9: in a state wins the number of electoral votes that
Speaker 9: that state has. It gets very complicated in Okay.
Speaker 1: See, I feel like there's math, Matt.
Speaker 2: Okay, but I did something kind of a woofye okay,
Speaker 2: So okay, I.
Speaker 1: Just you know, I just I got your little present. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's a calculator. I put your name on the back.
Speaker 1: It's pretty long, but okay, thank you.
Speaker 9: So we can figure those things out and look for
Speaker 9: this next election.
Speaker 2: Yes, if you use my calculator, I'm gonna lose.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me ask you one more important question. I mean, yes,
Speaker 1: I heard that you didn't.
Speaker 2: Know who Taylor Swift was, which I don't care.
Speaker 1: But do you know who Beyonce is? Yes? Okay, good.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have the divorce Steak. You are awesome. Be
Speaker 1: sure to.
Speaker 2: Watch Steve Karnaki do his thing on NBC and MSNBC.
Speaker 9: Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching.
Speaker 1: The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The
Speaker 1: Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy Central,
Speaker 1: and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has
Speaker 1: been a Comedy Central podcast