Speaker 1: Hello, listeners of the Therapy Gecko podcast. Welcome to gek mail.
Speaker 1: This is a type of episode that I do sometimes
Speaker 1: when I don't want to take phone calls and I
Speaker 1: want to read emails and I want to rant for
Speaker 1: a while in response to these emails. I have had
Speaker 1: people email me at therapy geckomail at gmail dot com,
Speaker 1: and sometimes I get more emails than I can fit
Speaker 1: into an episode, so I just have I just have
Speaker 1: a rolling rolodex of emails, so I might read some
Speaker 1: emails in here that are thirteen years old or at least,
Speaker 1: you know, a few months old. But so that's this.
Speaker 1: This is gak mail. Do I have anything that I
Speaker 1: want to rant about before we get started into gek Mail?
Speaker 1: Not really, not particularly, But I am going to challenge
Speaker 1: myself once again to see if I can take an
Speaker 1: hour of time in which I force words to come
Speaker 1: out of my mouth. And that's this. This is gek male.
Speaker 1: Let's get started. First mail is from Pokemon, subject line
Speaker 1: feeling down in Japan. Hey, Lyle, you can call me Rob.
Speaker 1: I've decided to seek your gecko wisdom about my sorrows
Speaker 1: in the East. I'll try and keep it brief I
Speaker 1: came here as an English teacher from Canada in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty two, and I'm now living in my fourth city.
Speaker 1: I moved for a better job and things are pretty
Speaker 1: good there, but I've been dealing with loneliness and doubts
Speaker 1: about my life in Japan. When it comes to the
Speaker 1: aspect of loneliness, I feel like I can't make meaningful
Speaker 1: relationships socially or romantically with anyone, especially locals. The few
Speaker 1: times I've joined social meetings, I get a list of
Speaker 1: contacts that never turn into anything, and I've gone on
Speaker 1: dates with people only to be ghosted. The most recent
Speaker 1: one hit me hard because after four dates and telling
Speaker 1: this person how much ghosting hurts, they still went and
Speaker 1: did it anyway. It feels like no matter what I do,
Speaker 1: where I go, what I join, it all ends up
Speaker 1: the same. This leads me to wanting to go home,
Speaker 1: since I could have my social network again. But if
Speaker 1: I do that, then I'm not likely to get a
Speaker 1: sustainable job since the economy and job market is a
Speaker 1: total healthscape from what I understand. I'm going back for
Speaker 1: Christmas this year since it's been so long, but I
Speaker 1: do fear that when I go back I might not
Speaker 1: want to come back, but if I pull the trigger
Speaker 1: and go through with going home, I need to deal
Speaker 1: with the what if of did I make the wrong decision.
Speaker 1: I genuinely like Japan and the life here and feel
Speaker 1: like I should keep living here, but the feeling of
Speaker 1: exclusion is getting hard to bear. I feel like I
Speaker 1: should appreciate my life of adventure, since this kind of
Speaker 1: thing is something only a few people get to do,
Speaker 1: and I'm wasting it feeling bad about myself, which is
Speaker 1: why I'm writing you as someone who also travels and
Speaker 1: lived away from home from long periods of time. How
Speaker 1: do you deal with these feelings? Do you have any
Speaker 1: advice on learning to love time alone if it helps
Speaker 1: with your answers. I'm twenty nine. I have OCD and
Speaker 1: depression and I'm taking medication for them. I've talked with
Speaker 1: real therapists about my mental health before. I work forty
Speaker 1: six hour weeks with days off every Monday and Friday.
Speaker 1: I speak Japanese at a high level, and I live
Speaker 1: close to Tokyo. Sorry if this is long, but I
Speaker 1: hope to hear your thoughts on this. Rob hmm, okay, well,
Speaker 1: this is a meaty one. And you know, I've talked
Speaker 1: about it on this podcast before, but I lived in
Speaker 1: Japan myself for about two months, and I also you know,
Speaker 1: considered uh living there. But none of this feels like
Speaker 1: it's particularly japan Centric, especially if you speak Japanese at
Speaker 1: a high level. I mean, yes, there is, like I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, like I guess my experience there
Speaker 1: was almost like it. It seems like it's easier in
Speaker 1: some ways to make friends because there's so many especially
Speaker 1: in Tokyo, there's so many like expat hubs, and there's
Speaker 1: so many events and whatnot that are geared towards foreigners.
Speaker 1: I want to say this, and this is something I
Speaker 1: just went on a whole rant on about the This
Speaker 1: is something I just went on a whole rant on
Speaker 1: the last episode, and so I don't want to go
Speaker 1: too crazy about it. But you said that you joined
Speaker 1: social meetings and you get a list of contacts that
Speaker 1: never turn into anything. And the reason why is that,
Speaker 1: like the the premise that you're going to go to
Speaker 1: a social meeting and meet someone at least from a
Speaker 1: friend point of view, or or honestly also even from
Speaker 1: a romantic point of view, in a lot of cases
Speaker 1: you'll meet someone and then you'll get their email or
Speaker 1: phone number or whatever, and then that'll spark a friendship.
Speaker 1: That's too much. I mean you got to kind of
Speaker 1: you said, you've only joined a social meeting a few times.
Speaker 1: I mean, you got to find a thing, you know,
Speaker 1: like for example, you know I did. I did a
Speaker 1: bunch of shows at the Tokyo Comedy Bar, you know,
Speaker 1: and they have a whole community there of people who
Speaker 1: are like expats doing comedy, and I went to like
Speaker 1: a poker night while I was there. I went to
Speaker 1: like some jazz sessions and whatnot, and you know, I
Speaker 1: went to some Smash Bros. Tournaments there. And at all
Speaker 1: these places they have like, you know, recurring groups. So
Speaker 1: you need to find a place where you're gonna be recurringly.
Speaker 1: You really can't just show up at some social meeting
Speaker 1: and expect to like instantly make friends. You know, it
Speaker 1: doesn't really work like that. You got to find a
Speaker 1: community that you're gonna recurringly be a part of. Romantically, shit, man,
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, that's the game. Unfortunately, whether you're in
Speaker 1: Japan or you're in New York, or you're in fucking whatever,
Speaker 1: I mean that's the game. Dating is for people who
Speaker 1: are lucky or patient, and if you are one of
Speaker 1: those two things, then there's a chance of things working
Speaker 1: out for you. I'm going back for Christmas this year,
Speaker 1: and since it's been so long, I do fear that
Speaker 1: when I go back, I might not want to come back. So, like,
Speaker 1: what's in your gut, man, right? Like you know, I
Speaker 1: was thinking about moving to Japan and I went back
Speaker 1: home to New York slash Baltimore, and you know, my
Speaker 1: gut it was it was really hard. It was really
Speaker 1: hard to commit it to a decision. But I went
Speaker 1: with my gut, and my gut told me to stay.
Speaker 1: And I'm really glad I went with my gut, and
Speaker 1: I've I've done certain things to make it so that
Speaker 1: the decision I made was the right decision. But the
Speaker 1: path kind of felt like it naturally led me to
Speaker 1: just stay. And so the point that you wrote in
Speaker 1: this email, I fear when I go back, I might
Speaker 1: not want to go back to Japan. I mean, if
Speaker 1: that's what your gut is telling you to do, then
Speaker 1: it's okay to follow whatever your gut is telling you
Speaker 1: to do. Did you mention okay? You came, you've been so,
Speaker 1: you've been in Baan for about three years now. I
Speaker 1: don't really know what your life is like in Canada.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you have a social network of some kind.
Speaker 1: I don't know what city you live in in Canada,
Speaker 1: if it's like a Toronto or a Vancouver or someplace
Speaker 1: that you is like a big place that has stuff,
Speaker 1: but and also the whole thing of like, I should
Speaker 1: appreciate my life of adventure since this kind of thing
Speaker 1: is though something only people get to do, and I'm
Speaker 1: wasting feeling bad about myself part of a life of adventure.
Speaker 1: Everything what you're experiencing is part of the life of adventure.
Speaker 1: That's you. You. You have to understand that if you're
Speaker 1: gonna try to do weird things with your life and
Speaker 1: make weird decisions that most people don't make, like moving
Speaker 1: to a foreign country or you know, trying to find
Speaker 1: a relationship that aligns with you instead of whatever, just
Speaker 1: kind of shows up. Right. If you're gonna kind of
Speaker 1: go out of your fucking way to get the most
Speaker 1: out of life instead of just like settling for whatever
Speaker 1: the fuck you know it comes to you, you're gonna
Speaker 1: get depressed. And you're gonna it's gonna suck tits, and
Speaker 1: so that's part of it. That's part of the life
Speaker 1: of adventure. I suppose those are those are my main
Speaker 1: ponders I would say on your situation. Also, I don't
Speaker 1: think also the thing of like I need to deal
Speaker 1: with the what if if I did make or make
Speaker 1: the wrong decision, I don't. I mean, this is I
Speaker 1: mean a lot of things to that. It's like, one,
Speaker 1: you can always go back to Japan if you really
Speaker 1: want to, you can always go back there. And then
Speaker 1: two is like you'll never know. You have to make
Speaker 1: peace at the fact that you'll never fucking know. You're
Speaker 1: never gonna You'll never fucking know if you made the
Speaker 1: right decision. So I mean, it's like asking, it's like,
Speaker 1: it's like being like, I don't have a funny analogy,
Speaker 1: but it's not a thing that is within your Mortalit
Speaker 1: is to know whether or not you made the right decision.
Speaker 1: So the sooner you surrender to that, the easier you'll have,
Speaker 1: the easier of a time you'll have just existing. But yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, the fact that you speak Japanese
Speaker 1: at high level is cool. Yeah, go back, Hang out.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not saying go back permanently, but I'm
Speaker 1: sure you'll your gut will steer you in some way,
Speaker 1: shape or form when you go back to the States
Speaker 1: as to what you should do. Okay, this is from
Speaker 1: greta subject line what is your favorite bug? Hi? Gek,
Speaker 1: I am cleaning my bathroom right now and feeling positive
Speaker 1: about it. Cleaning is hard and not fun. But lately
Speaker 1: I've been hard not fun things, and I think if
Speaker 1: I continue to do them, they will get easier. Maybe. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think this person meant I've been trying to do hard,
Speaker 1: not fun things. Okay. I'm twenty, which is very strange
Speaker 1: because I still feel seventeen and I don't know how
Speaker 1: to adult. What should I incorporate into my life to
Speaker 1: get me to that adulty checkpoint? When did you feel adult?
Speaker 1: And also what is your favorite bug? My favorite bug
Speaker 1: is probably a caterpillar. I don't know why. They just
Speaker 1: look nice. When did I start to feel like an adult?
Speaker 1: I have a lot of thoughts on that question. When
Speaker 1: I started to feel like an adult? I mean there's
Speaker 1: a lot of like, I mean, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: markers of adulthood. One is like the actual age of
Speaker 1: eighteen one is a financial independence from your parents, and
Speaker 1: there's having a kid, and there's doing getting married and
Speaker 1: all that stuff. I feel like an adult, h I think.
Speaker 1: I think I only started feeling like an adult recently,
Speaker 1: but I still don't really feel like an adult. I
Speaker 1: don't think I'll feel like a real adult until I
Speaker 1: have kids. I think that's when I'll feel like a
Speaker 1: real adult, and even then I'll still feel like like
Speaker 1: I'm I have I don't think. I don't think any
Speaker 1: of my like deep seated uh personality and things are
Speaker 1: going away, at least hopefully not the I mean, here's
Speaker 1: the thing. A lot of the deep negative parts of
Speaker 1: my personality are probably here to stay. They're probably here
Speaker 1: to stay, but so are a lot of the positive ones.
Speaker 1: I only I'm only I only have information up to
Speaker 1: twenty seven years old. But I feel more adult now
Speaker 1: than I did before. But you're twenty, I mean twenty.
Speaker 1: It's like, what the fun My bathroom is dirty as
Speaker 1: shit right now. My bathroom is disgusting. It's neat, but
Speaker 1: it's not. It's like dusty and gross. But that's not
Speaker 1: what I think of when I think of the things
Speaker 1: that make me an adult. I don't know if anyone's
Speaker 1: an adult, I guess, But when did I feel I don't,
Speaker 1: I get, I guess. Recently i've felt a little bit
Speaker 1: more adult. The most adult that I have here, I'll
Speaker 1: say this, the most adult that I've felt has been.
Speaker 1: It's always gonna be in relation to other people, Like
Speaker 1: you know, if I'm in a relationship or if I'm
Speaker 1: in some other situation where I'm like, you know, helping
Speaker 1: someone out or providing something for somebody in some kind
Speaker 1: of a servitudal servitudinal way, is when I feel like
Speaker 1: the most adult. And in a sense, when you clean
Speaker 1: your bathroom, you're like providing an act of service to yourself,
Speaker 1: which makes it which is why it kind of feel
Speaker 1: as adults. You know. In my life, yeah, I'm better
Speaker 1: at like doing shit for people that I care about,
Speaker 1: I think, than for myself in terms of like like
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not a good cooker, cleaner or whatever,
Speaker 1: but you know, I would do it if for if
Speaker 1: someone else, to make somebody else happy. And I think
Speaker 1: that that kind of is when I felt more adult,
Speaker 1: you know, putting on clothes that don't have cartoon characters
Speaker 1: on them, shit, like that, but yeah, I like caterpillars.
Speaker 1: Let's see here. This is from James, subject line I
Speaker 1: sexed Artificial Intelligence. Hello, Lyle, longtime listener here. Thank you
Speaker 1: for all you doo. Thank you, James. I have recently
Speaker 1: started using AI chatbots to help me masturbate. This is interesting.
Speaker 1: I've never and by the way, I'm I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: shame this guy, because look, we all live in the world. Okay,
Speaker 1: we all live in the world. I'm gonna read the
Speaker 1: rest of his email, but I'm just I've never tried that.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I think it would make. It's
Speaker 1: kind of like like you know, like with only fans,
Speaker 1: how it's like you're supposed to be able to chat
Speaker 1: with the lady, but like you know that it's not then, right,
Speaker 1: I've always wondered I feel the same way about the
Speaker 1: AI chatbots, Like you know that the thing that you
Speaker 1: think is behind this thing is not the thing, and
Speaker 1: that I don't think I could get past that knowledge,
Speaker 1: can you. I don't think you can sext chat chept,
Speaker 1: but I know that there's like ones that exist that
Speaker 1: you can. It's a weirdly sinister business, the like AI
Speaker 1: friend chat, I know that AI. I'm hopeful and this
Speaker 1: is just me being optimistic and I'm gonna read this
Speaker 1: guy's email, but I'm just ranting to myself. I'm optimistic.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to be optimistic that AI could create. Like Okay,
Speaker 1: there's two ends of the spectrum. There's like one is
Speaker 1: AI somehow reduces labor in a way that allows more
Speaker 1: like in person connection, or it's somehow like fosters more
Speaker 1: in person connection in some direct or indirect way. But
Speaker 1: the way that it's being used, where it's like, use
Speaker 1: use this to talk to someone that's not a person,
Speaker 1: I don't know how I feel about that. Okay, I've
Speaker 1: been on a journey to quit watching porn forever because
Speaker 1: I know that excess porn use is bad for my brain.
Speaker 1: Tell me about it. Ideally, I would have sex to
Speaker 1: relieve my needs. However, I have been struggling to find
Speaker 1: a partner, so in looking for outlets for my sexual desires,
Speaker 1: I found chatbots that simulate sexual role plays. At first,
Speaker 1: it was so addictive that I used it to masturbate
Speaker 1: every night, but lately I have been trying to use
Speaker 1: it three nights a week and no external stimuli any
Speaker 1: other night that I want to get off interesting. I
Speaker 1: don't pay money to use it, and although my data
Speaker 1: is probably being stolen, I wonder if this is a
Speaker 1: good alternative to watching porn. My thinking is that using
Speaker 1: a text chat has to be better than watching and
Speaker 1: listening to porn, as that stimulates the brain much more.
Speaker 1: The downside to using AI is that it's easy to
Speaker 1: role play for a while. With porn, I would watch
Speaker 1: twenty minutes at most in one sitting, but with AI
Speaker 1: I could shout for a couple of hours and end
Speaker 1: up going to bed much later than planned. None of
Speaker 1: this is affecting my daily functioning or responsibilities, but it
Speaker 1: does weigh on my mind. What are your thoughts on this?
Speaker 1: I'm curious about what the people of the computer think.
Speaker 1: Man I James, I really, James. If you're listening to this,
Speaker 1: call in to the show at some point, please or
Speaker 1: like send me a tech on the Gecko line for
Speaker 1: one four seven two GHEK, because I want to talk
Speaker 1: to you about this, because I find this subject interesting
Speaker 1: and I have I'll do my I'll do my one
Speaker 1: sided monologue on it, which is you know. I also
Speaker 1: I also have you know, troubles with porn, and I've
Speaker 1: found myself, like, uh, you know, spending too much time
Speaker 1: watching it and really noticing the ways in which it
Speaker 1: fucks with my brain. And it fucks porn like super
Speaker 1: fucks with like your perception of uh, you know, women
Speaker 1: in real life, and uh, it just it fucks you up.
Speaker 1: It's it's very clearly not good. Uh. And yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know what the science would say about this theory
Speaker 1: that you have, which is an interesting theory. I get
Speaker 1: where you're coming from on this theory, James. I get
Speaker 1: where you're coming from on this theory that like using it,
Speaker 1: jerking off to just text is less bad for the
Speaker 1: brain than porn. I don't I don't know the science
Speaker 1: behind that, but that makes a lot of sense to me.
Speaker 1: Why are you having trouble finding a partner? I mean,
Speaker 1: everyone who's ever tried to have sex and knows the
Speaker 1: answer to this question. But hmmm hm m m m mmm.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to ponder this, and I'm trying to ponder this.
Speaker 1: I think that uh, you know, I mean, I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: are you using what are you trying to do to
Speaker 1: like find a partner? Are you going out to talk
Speaker 1: to people. Are you going on the hinges and the
Speaker 1: tenders and the whatnot, because the problem with the texting
Speaker 1: the bot is like you just you don't don't want
Speaker 1: to get to you don't want to get like emotionally
Speaker 1: attached to a computer. But I'm I'm I I really,
Speaker 1: I really can't talk about this without being a total
Speaker 1: hypocrite because like I feel like when I'm using porn,
Speaker 1: it's there you subconsciously. Yeah, I'm getting attached. I'm subconsciously,
Speaker 1: whether I like it or not or admit to it
Speaker 1: or not, I'm getting subconsciously emotionally attached to you know,
Speaker 1: whatever I'm jacking off to. So it's probably not that
Speaker 1: different from the a porn in that sense. I don't
Speaker 1: know if my rant about this was helpful in any way,
Speaker 1: shape or form. Please call in because I am very
Speaker 1: curious about what your personal experience has been with kind
Speaker 1: of navigating this this sphere of life. But good on
Speaker 1: you for at least like capping it three nights a week. Also,
Speaker 1: when you said none of this is affecting my daily
Speaker 1: functioning and responsibilities, that's the that's the most dangerous thing.
Speaker 1: I know that vibe too, when you have like an
Speaker 1: addiction of some kind and you're like, yeah, but this isn't.
Speaker 1: The worst thing is when you have an addiction of
Speaker 1: some kind and you're like, this is not negatively affecting
Speaker 1: me enough in this short term that I want to
Speaker 1: do anything about it, or that I can even see
Speaker 1: me stopping it having a positive effect on my life,
Speaker 1: or just returning my life to some vague, uninteresting, neutral baseline.
Speaker 1: So I don't know. Maybe you need to you need
Speaker 1: to have a have a Maybe you need to have
Speaker 1: I can't think of a funny thing to say. I
Speaker 1: don't care. All right, let's keep going. Let's keep going.
Speaker 1: You know what I used to think I've been listening to.
Speaker 1: I know that this is a comedy podcast, is labeled
Speaker 1: as a comedy podcast, and it's sometimes funny, and I
Speaker 1: sometimes have funny things to say. But I'm just not
Speaker 1: good at making stupid jokes at least right now. Okay, whatever,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Let's keep going, all right, Okay. This is from Jacob
Speaker 1: subject line meth made Me a cross dresser. Update For
Speaker 1: those who don't remember, there was a gentleman who called
Speaker 1: in to the show to talk about how, uh, smoking
Speaker 1: meth got him into cross dressing. I want to say
Speaker 1: this was about a year ago or so, but yes, Jacob,
Speaker 1: I remember you. Hey, gak, it's me, the guy who
Speaker 1: thought meth made him a cross dresser. I wanted you
Speaker 1: to know how my life has changed in the past
Speaker 1: year and a half or so. Last August I ended
Speaker 1: up losing my apartment due to some which at the
Speaker 1: time I was still a full blown methaddicted cross dresser,
Speaker 1: and I moved in with my longtime best friend, who
Speaker 1: had at that point very recently become my girlfriend. And
Speaker 1: when I moved in with her, I basically gave up
Speaker 1: the cross dressing because I felt that it would be
Speaker 1: weird to do it in front of her, and I
Speaker 1: felt like someone who has the title of boyfriend shouldn't
Speaker 1: be dressing up as a chick. But I will let
Speaker 1: you know that it was so bad at one point
Speaker 1: that I literally thought I was a girl, which isn't
Speaker 1: a bad thing. I totally understand dysphoria now. But with
Speaker 1: that being said, and little did we know at the time,
Speaker 1: but we had gotten pregnant. Basically whenever I moved in
Speaker 1: in August, we didn't realize we were pregnant until about December,
Speaker 1: and at that time I had still been using all
Speaker 1: the time, very heavily. I was not cross dressing all
Speaker 1: the time, but I did when she was out of town.
Speaker 1: I don't know if she knows that, but it's okayl
Speaker 1: But once I found out we were pregnant, I quit
Speaker 1: everything on the spot. So I've been sober since Christmas.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, wow, see you know what? To directly to
Speaker 1: what I was just fucking saying, it's like, you need
Speaker 1: a thing, dude, I'm not. Don't go. Don't go and
Speaker 1: have a kid to stop watching porn. That's a stupid idea,
Speaker 1: but it's just in general, it's always easier to quit
Speaker 1: the addiction when you have like a some some sort
Speaker 1: of a thing. Let's see here, my life is flip
Speaker 1: flopped one hundred percent. I am a one hundred percent
Speaker 1: different person. She gave birth to our son on April eighteenth.
Speaker 1: He gave the full name of the Sun. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna read your son's name. And since then life has
Speaker 1: just been so good. Getting to watch my son grow
Speaker 1: up and learn to do things has been amazing. I
Speaker 1: honestly can't get enough of him. But yeah, life is perfect.
Speaker 1: I just got the job I've been looking for for
Speaker 1: a long time. I did spend a long time jobless
Speaker 1: because the job market's been really difficult, but I finally
Speaker 1: landed a job working for FedEx. And yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just can't say how much better my life is
Speaker 1: without the dope and without the cross dressing. I want
Speaker 1: to thank you for everything you've done in my life. Man.
Speaker 1: Listening to your conversations and the way you handle your
Speaker 1: life has helped me out a lot. Anyway, this has
Speaker 1: been great to update you. Hope you get the chance
Speaker 1: to read this piece. Uh. I'm glad to hear about this, Jacob.
Speaker 1: That's cool, man, this is inspiring. This is good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember our phone call. Uh. And I'm glad. I'm
Speaker 1: glad everything worked out for your kid. Uh. And I'm
Speaker 1: glad you're getting sober. You know. See, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: You gotta have a reason. You got what you know?
Speaker 1: Life just does it. You just need you just need
Speaker 1: motivation to do things. It is true you need some
Speaker 1: form of like intrinsic and extrinsic motivation if you're gonna
Speaker 1: fucking do anything. You know, you can't just do a
Speaker 1: thing because I think I think if they if you
Speaker 1: just like, if you're like addicted to porn and then
Speaker 1: you see some Reddit thing that's like, hey, do you
Speaker 1: know porn is bad? You're not gonna be like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: all right, I guess I better stop watching it. It's
Speaker 1: gotta be like, hey, do you know your wife is
Speaker 1: going to leave you if you stop? If you don't
Speaker 1: stop watching porn, you need something like that. I'm speaking
Speaker 1: to the previous emailer. It's that's that's that is one
Speaker 1: of the I'll say this, man, that is one of
Speaker 1: the fucking funny things about just being like, uh uh
Speaker 1: to yet to you James, who was addicted to sexting
Speaker 1: artificial intelligence, If you're just like a single guy, the
Speaker 1: pro there's if just like a single guy, the pros
Speaker 1: and cons are exactly the same, which are you can
Speaker 1: do whatever you want and it doesn't affect anyone but yourself, uh,
Speaker 1: which has its pros and its cons. I'll say, But yeah, man,
Speaker 1: I'm glad. Back to James, I'm glad that things have
Speaker 1: no you know not James Jacob, I'm glad thanks for
Speaker 1: that for you. Man. Okay, this is from Hank subject line,
Speaker 1: I have a successful fart fetish. Hey, GEK, please keep
Speaker 1: me anonymous, maybe call me Hank. Since being sixteen years old,
Speaker 1: I've had a fetish for suffering but without liking physical
Speaker 1: pain during sexual activities. So this manifests to being made
Speaker 1: to smell or taste unpleasant things, usually foods. I hate
Speaker 1: being farted on by a beautiful girl turns me on
Speaker 1: more than anything else. You know what I got to say.
Speaker 1: I know that it's like a little funny, but uh,
Speaker 1: in my head, I'm genuinely so fucking curious. I'm like,
Speaker 1: why why did this happen? Because listen, this guy, Hank,
Speaker 1: in no way, shape or form, did he choose to
Speaker 1: be this way. He did not choose to be this way.
Speaker 1: Of course, he didn't choose to be this way. That's
Speaker 1: how I think sexual. I don't think anyone with any
Speaker 1: sexual anything chose to have it. I think it just
Speaker 1: happens or something. But what what is that? Dude? Does anyone?
Speaker 1: Is anyone a psychologist? Does anyone? No? Don't they Don't
Speaker 1: we spend money on this shit. Isn't there a budget
Speaker 1: in the US government to do lab tests to discover
Speaker 1: why people have fart fetishes, like, I want to know,
Speaker 1: like empirically, like what's the like what neurotransmitters or whatever
Speaker 1: are firing at you know, what precise angles to make
Speaker 1: it so that this guy gets turned on by farts.
Speaker 1: It's such a weird thing to me. It's so abstract.
Speaker 1: I'm fascinated by it. Okay, I have asked eight different
Speaker 1: girls to fart on me. Seven have agreed. What wait,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. That's so sick that you've asked You've gotten
Speaker 1: seven out of eight different girl You've etten seven different
Speaker 1: girls to fart on you, Hank, that's crazy, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: Whoa as this fetish is weird. I was embarrassed at first,
Speaker 1: but I found that when you're with someone you trust,
Speaker 1: you can be honest with them and usually they'll try
Speaker 1: new things to make you happy. Some even get really
Speaker 1: into it. The key is honest communication and only doing
Speaker 1: things both parties are comfortable with. So my message to
Speaker 1: the wonderful people of the computer is that if anyone
Speaker 1: has a strange fetish they're closeted about, just have that chat.
Speaker 1: Don't live in fear and embarrassment. Thanks GEK, stay awesome. Hank,
Speaker 1: bro this guy, that's where you're gonna leave the email.
Speaker 1: We gotta talk, Hank, call me on the podcast. Seven
Speaker 1: out of eight. That's incredible, dude. That's the thing, you
Speaker 1: know what, That's why you gotta live honestly. That's why
Speaker 1: you gotta live honestly. Because there's some miserable guy out
Speaker 1: there who wants nothing more than to get farted on
Speaker 1: by his girlfriend or by anyone. I guess, but he's
Speaker 1: never going to fulfill that because he just he's too
Speaker 1: he's too nervous about it. He's too embarrassed to ask.
Speaker 1: But look at this guy. Look at Hank. Hank asked
Speaker 1: eight different girls to fart on him. Seven agreed. Sometimes
Speaker 1: you just gotta fucking shoot your shot. Man. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: see here. Who do we have next on the docket?
Speaker 1: This is from a LA. The subject line is first
Speaker 1: nine to five relationship as an eager. He doesn't understand
Speaker 1: I wear backpacks like Xavier so based What the fuck
Speaker 1: is that? Oh? Okay, he's like a rapper guy. He
Speaker 1: pioneered the internet based micro genre jerk. What the fuck, dude?
Speaker 1: All these guys are like all these guys are like
Speaker 1: so young mass kid's like twenty one. That's crazy, all right. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Um okay, hi goak. My name is La, I'm a
Speaker 1: big fan from London. It's the summer I finished UNI.
Speaker 1: I did a stem degree, but was always in the
Speaker 1: art circles and being a scene girl, making music and such.
Speaker 1: I naturally always dated boys who were a bit older
Speaker 1: and living off music. This summer I started dating my
Speaker 1: first nine to five boy. I like him. He's corporate,
Speaker 1: but we get on really well. House on Fire Style,
Speaker 1: What the fuck does that mean? House on fire Style?
Speaker 1: Is this a okay? Because this girl is both like
Speaker 1: I have no idea, well she is, but she's also
Speaker 1: British and she's also like online, so being oh okay,
Speaker 1: House on fire Style is an idiom meaning two people
Speaker 1: instantly become good friends. Okay. So I don't in this
Speaker 1: girl's email. I don't know what's just like her being
Speaker 1: on TikTok uh or her being British, you know, cause
Speaker 1: like like take the mickey out of you or whatever,
Speaker 1: like it's a British thing. Okay, anyway, whatever, things seemed good.
Speaker 1: Been about two months in and then the other day
Speaker 1: we were on the way to grab a beer with
Speaker 1: my friends and I stepped out thinking I had aura
Speaker 1: freshly straightened hair, MEUMEU boots with wound dressing. I wrapped
Speaker 1: around one. Uh okay, she describes her uh outfit. We
Speaker 1: walked around ten meters when he made the joke, Frick,
Speaker 1: everyone thinks I'm a pedo. My heightened ego shattered. Do
Speaker 1: what the fuck I think? Please? Please tell me this guy,
Speaker 1: I didn't actually say frick, everyone thinks I'm a pedo.
Speaker 1: That's something you never want to have come out of
Speaker 1: your mouth. Man, Frick, I'm a pedal. After heading back
Speaker 1: to my Hello Kitty adorned room, he apologized over and over,
Speaker 1: but then he let it slip that sometimes my outfits
Speaker 1: made him feel uncomfortable. I immediately started crying. Frick, man,
Speaker 1: I thought I was dope. I thought my backpack was
Speaker 1: gangster like Xavier, But no, no one views me like that.
Speaker 1: Does everyone see me as a fat baby? I always
Speaker 1: dressed a bit childish, and I get id'd a lot.
Speaker 1: How old is okay, if this person it's the summer,
Speaker 1: I finished, Uni, Okay, I'm gonna assume if this person,
Speaker 1: this person's like twenty two. That seems like a proper assumption.
Speaker 1: If they just graduated college okay or uni? Uh? I
Speaker 1: always dressed up a childish, I get totally I look
Speaker 1: really young. It upsets me. Why don't I stop wearing
Speaker 1: kids clothes? Then? Well, I have, but I immediately bought
Speaker 1: a Supreme backpack after the incident. What Okay, I don't
Speaker 1: want to be seen as a child or fatherless, but
Speaker 1: I just find cartoons and bows and iconography swag. I
Speaker 1: don't want to change my whole stick for a boy,
Speaker 1: but I guess I also don't want someone who sees
Speaker 1: me as a child and is attracted to that. Since then,
Speaker 1: I felt super insecure. I've been showing pictures to chat
Speaker 1: GPT of myself every day, asking if I'm fat and
Speaker 1: chopped anyway. I do think this is a reflection of
Speaker 1: myself attempting to join society, coming to terms with how
Speaker 1: I am really viewed and what an outsider and how
Speaker 1: weird I really am. Another catalyst for my spiral has
Speaker 1: been his lack of obsessiveness. In my usual relationships, we
Speaker 1: would have ended things by now, or they would have
Speaker 1: said they were in love with me. And this is
Speaker 1: after two months. Okay, It's been neither. Almost like he's
Speaker 1: preoccupied most of the time, not even thinking about me.
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice or thoughts or or um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she ended with saying three ors. Uh uh, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: have some thoughts. I have a lot of conflicting thoughts.
Speaker 1: I think listen, I mean, look here, because here's the thing,
Speaker 1: right and this is my whole thing, and I do
Speaker 1: believe it is. I do believe in being yourself. I
Speaker 1: don't think you should uh change for someone else, unless
Speaker 1: if you believe that that change will be good for
Speaker 1: you and positive for you. But I don't know this
Speaker 1: is like, but you you clearly just by the way
Speaker 1: you wrote this email with a bunch of references and
Speaker 1: things that I don't have it. I have no fucking
Speaker 1: idea what they are. You're clearly ingrained in a certain
Speaker 1: kind of aesthetic. You know, I actually fuck it, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna real talk this one, l A. You're clearly ingrained
Speaker 1: in a certain type of aesthetic. And I know that
Speaker 1: people I might piss some people off, I don't care.
Speaker 1: I know that people take aesthetics and music and fashion
Speaker 1: and these things to like, uh become part of their identity,
Speaker 1: especially when you're young. But I would take like a
Speaker 1: step back if I were you from all the fucking
Speaker 1: brands and the Xavier whatever and the you know uh
Speaker 1: uh the like aesthetic and culture and shit, and just
Speaker 1: be like, you know, who the fuck who am I?
Speaker 1: What do I actually care about? Right? Like, it's it's
Speaker 1: because you're you're You're more than just like an aesthetic,
Speaker 1: right that's only gonna last so long as like something
Speaker 1: that you can cling to as an identity. And so
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna tell you how to address or what's
Speaker 1: to do or you know, whether or not you should change.
Speaker 1: But it does sound like you're taking and it's a
Speaker 1: popular thing to do, especially when you're younger, of like
Speaker 1: taking uh you know, aesthetics and onlines and like very
Speaker 1: like external things and like making that your identity. But like,
Speaker 1: m I don't know, take a step and figure out,
Speaker 1: like who you actually are as a person. You're not
Speaker 1: You're more than just a Xavier or so based whatever
Speaker 1: that is. So yeah, that's what I would say. Also,
Speaker 1: this guy, also listen, if you're like, if you're going
Speaker 1: to date an older guy, he's gonna want to approach
Speaker 1: his relationships from a more mature place, which probably means
Speaker 1: that he's not going to like love bomb you so
Speaker 1: so closely in and if that's what you want, then
Speaker 1: it sounds like you you should, you know, date a
Speaker 1: guy your own age. Who else so might be you know, mature?
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, who also might be mature and wanting
Speaker 1: to not you know, approach relationships from a toxic place.
Speaker 1: But that's my ponder I would say about this. Good
Speaker 1: luck La all right. This is from Adam, subject line
Speaker 1: my life this year. Hey, Lyle, I've talked to you
Speaker 1: a couple times before, but they were years ago, and
Speaker 1: I wouldn't hold it against you for not remembering. I
Speaker 1: called before I joined the military and again after I
Speaker 1: had been in for a little bit. That doesn't matter now.
Speaker 1: What I want to say to you is that I've
Speaker 1: had one of the worst and best years of my life.
Speaker 1: I have met and spent a lot of time with
Speaker 1: some of the best people I've ever known. I got
Speaker 1: to go home and officiate my brother's wedding. I found
Speaker 1: out I'm being promoted after working my ass off with
Speaker 1: no help from anyone, and I've accomplished a lot overall.
Speaker 1: What is really bothering me, though, is that I can't
Speaker 1: stop thinking about my ex girlfriend. We spent a year together,
Speaker 1: and all my friends and family couldn't stand her from
Speaker 1: what she did to me. But I can't stop thinking
Speaker 1: about her. I'll be on dates and she's on my mind.
Speaker 1: I'll be alone or with people and she's all I
Speaker 1: think about. I know I wasn't the best boyfriend, but
Speaker 1: I also know that I didn't deserve what she put
Speaker 1: me through. I struggled because I knew the whole time
Speaker 1: what was happening wasn't okay, but I tricked myself into
Speaker 1: believing I could handle it. I couldn't. She was my
Speaker 1: first serious girlfriend and the first person I gave my
Speaker 1: whole heart to. I feel like I won't ever feel
Speaker 1: that way for another person, and it sucks. I won't
Speaker 1: go into more detail than that. I love you, Lyle.
Speaker 1: You've been there for every part of the growth of
Speaker 1: my frontal lobe. I've been tuning in since they're red
Speaker 1: at live streams. Nothing but love, Adam. Thank you, Adam.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Okay, sorry for doing that into the
Speaker 1: microphone with my nose A let me think here, Let
Speaker 1: me think here, because I do have thoughts. Ah Mmmm.
Speaker 1: It's a hard way. I mean, so much has been
Speaker 1: said about breakups right and about uh, the power of love.
Speaker 1: You know, it's what every fucking song and piece of
Speaker 1: art has ever been written or made about. And you know,
Speaker 1: it may very well be true. It may very well
Speaker 1: be true that you won't ever feel that way for
Speaker 1: another person, but you will feel new ways for new
Speaker 1: people that you didn't even think were possible. I mean,
Speaker 1: you're never gonna go back to high school. You're never
Speaker 1: gonna I don't know how old you are, but you're
Speaker 1: never gonna fucking be uh seven years old again. You know,
Speaker 1: if you had a job and you left that job
Speaker 1: and you went to a new job, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: be that job again. Life is transient inherently, and it's hard,
Speaker 1: and it almost doesn't feel like it's supposed to be.
Speaker 1: It's weird we set our lives up thinking that they're
Speaker 1: not supposed to be transient. Does that make any sense?
Speaker 1: You know? We live these like routines if we're gonna
Speaker 1: kind of like live forever, and we hold on to
Speaker 1: people as if they're gonna be in our lives forever,
Speaker 1: and like this shit is just transient. It just is.
Speaker 1: But I think that's something to be embraced. And you
Speaker 1: know you grieve that which you transient through, but you
Speaker 1: don't want to you you don't want to stop it,
Speaker 1: allow it to stop you from moving forward into new
Speaker 1: epochs of life and meeting new people. Because get this,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna assume this woman cheated on you, because that's
Speaker 1: what I'm in. That's what is the easiest thing to
Speaker 1: infer from this. Get this, Adam, you actually haven't met
Speaker 1: all of the women that you're ever going to be
Speaker 1: romantically or sexually interested in for the rest of your life,
Speaker 1: and you may meet one who won't cheat on you,
Speaker 1: which is exciting. Keep that in mind, Adam. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know people are one of one. This is true,
Speaker 1: but that's great. It means that you'll meet new, more
Speaker 1: different people. And you see, I think the sooner you
Speaker 1: can accept the transient nature nature of life and allow
Speaker 1: yourself to be open to new shit, you'll find yourself
Speaker 1: out a better place. So. I don't know how long
Speaker 1: it's been since you broke up, but I do think
Speaker 1: the time heals those wounds. All right. This is from Jared,
Speaker 1: subject line two months cleaned from opiates. What's up GEK?
Speaker 1: For the past year, I was heavily addicted to fent
Speaker 1: and kept trying to get clean on my own and
Speaker 1: it was failing miserably. But my sister knew about this
Speaker 1: place in Mexico that does ibill gain treatment, which is
Speaker 1: basically a psychedelic that reversus opiate addiction, but is illegal
Speaker 1: in the states. Ooh, anyway, I went there and it's
Speaker 1: a fourteen day program. The second day they have you
Speaker 1: do cambo, which comes from a poison tree frog, and
Speaker 1: they burn it into your arm and it makes you puke.
Speaker 1: I've heard of this. That was one of the very
Speaker 1: first fucking calls I took on this show. It was
Speaker 1: about the combo ceremony. It helps with the detox process.
Speaker 1: Then leading up to the tenth day, you're just detoxing
Speaker 1: and getting blood work done and a nurse checks on
Speaker 1: you a bunch oh and ivy drips of minerals and
Speaker 1: nad I don't know what that is. Anyway, It's hard
Speaker 1: to explain the ibagain trip. Mine wasn't very profound. Best
Speaker 1: way to describe it is it's like a meditative slash
Speaker 1: dream like state, but it like really fucking worked. The
Speaker 1: thought of using heroin or fentanyl is no longer appealing
Speaker 1: to me. When I think of my time spent using
Speaker 1: I just think, Wow, I can't wait to never do
Speaker 1: that again. Like when I got home from that place,
Speaker 1: I swept up drug scraps off my floor and happily
Speaker 1: threw them away. The old me could never. Then the
Speaker 1: day before you leave, they have you do ayahuasca. Oh Jesus,
Speaker 1: this is what the fuck? This is like a a
Speaker 1: four course metally or something. I was nervous to do it,
Speaker 1: but I'm so glad they included me in this treatment.
Speaker 1: It finishes all the work the ibogaines started because it
Speaker 1: helps your brain produce more serotonin in the long run.
Speaker 1: But that trip was insane. While I was tripping, I
Speaker 1: relieved all the shitty things I've done, slash things I
Speaker 1: feel shame about. I kept yelling I'm so sorry haha. Also,
Speaker 1: I couldn't stop singing the same song for four hours straight.
Speaker 1: I had zero control over what was coming out of
Speaker 1: my mouth. The song is called I'm Getting Out while
Speaker 1: I Can by Kristin Michael Hayter. Anyway, despite all that,
Speaker 1: since I did the ayahuasca, I have felt so much happier,
Speaker 1: like happier than ever before. I bartend at a cocktail bar,
Speaker 1: and shit that used to ruin my whole day now
Speaker 1: doesn't FaZe me. The world feels so much less hostile.
Speaker 1: All my friends and coworkers keep commenting on how much
Speaker 1: happier I seem. Sorry for the word moment, but it
Speaker 1: felt like sharing. Have a nice day. Ooh, very interesting? Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, well there we go. That's a good endorsement
Speaker 1: of a Mexican illegal drug thing. That sounds cool. That
Speaker 1: sounds cool. Thanks for sharing that. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I have I don't know if I have ponders on that,
Speaker 1: but I don't know if I need to have them.
Speaker 1: I just liked reading that story. I took a little
Speaker 1: bit of molly, like a week ago, not enough to
Speaker 1: really roll, but I took a little bit of it.
Speaker 1: I didn't feel anything. And then I went home and
Speaker 1: I watched TV for three hours. And then when I
Speaker 1: turned the TV off, I realized I was rolling, and
Speaker 1: so I went into my bathroom and I laid down
Speaker 1: on the bathroom tile like prone, like I mean upside down,
Speaker 1: like I laid on my back on the bathroom floor tile,
Speaker 1: and I just had a conversation with myself for about
Speaker 1: an hour about how great my life is. It's really nice.
Speaker 1: Drugs are nice. I'm gonna go I'm gonna endorse drugs.
Speaker 1: Yeah whatever, let's go ahead and endorse drugs. Drugs are cool. Okay.
Speaker 1: This is from Ray subject line the toenail Sandwich, Hi GEK.
Speaker 1: When I was fourteen, I worked in a hair salon
Speaker 1: on weekends. I mostly make cups of tea, swept hair,
Speaker 1: and shampooed old ladies. But my god, some of the
Speaker 1: tales I heard from clients were wild. To keep it short,
Speaker 1: I'll regale the most burned one into my memory, the
Speaker 1: toenail Sandwich. Jane was in her late forties and would
Speaker 1: often complain about her husband to the extent you wondered
Speaker 1: why they didn't just divorce already. One day, the hairdresser
Speaker 1: just asked her how she puts up with all her
Speaker 1: issues and why she stays. She says she had a
Speaker 1: secret strategy to prevent them from arguing more. I shit
Speaker 1: you not. Jane sincerely told us that she would offer
Speaker 1: to make him a sandwich and then clip her toenails
Speaker 1: and sprinkle them into the sandwich. She said she would
Speaker 1: watch him eat it, and all her anger would melt
Speaker 1: Away absolutely unhinged. Apparently he never noticed and never knew
Speaker 1: she'd been doing it for years. I just wanted someone
Speaker 1: to know. I still get my haircut with the hairdresser
Speaker 1: I worked for, and we talk about it every time
Speaker 1: I go to the salon. There are many more stories,
Speaker 1: some from Jane, some from her cocaine loving daughter who
Speaker 1: worked as a nail tech there, and many tales of
Speaker 1: ongoing affairs, and a gruesome set of tales from a
Speaker 1: guy inn acologist. Let me know if you want to
Speaker 1: hear them. Ray PS. I came to your Manchester show
Speaker 1: in November. There was a guy talking about asking out
Speaker 1: a pharmacy employee to go watch Sonic three. I remember this.
Speaker 1: I remember that my boyfriend never heard the podcast before,
Speaker 1: but he loved the show. You told him he looked
Speaker 1: like Jason Momoa. I do remember that. I don't remember
Speaker 1: what he looked like. I remember telling a guy he
Speaker 1: looked like Jason Momoa. And I remember the guy who
Speaker 1: was going to ask the pharmacy employee out to go
Speaker 1: watch Sonic three. And I don't know what happened to
Speaker 1: that guy. Maybe they went to go watch Sonic three.
Speaker 1: That would be cool, cool, that's one of these things.
Speaker 1: I would like to get a follow up on sean
Speaker 1: subject line starting all over. Hey, Lyle, hope you are
Speaker 1: doing well. I'm a big time fan seeing you when
Speaker 1: you were in Reddit Live and when you had a
Speaker 1: show in Arizona. Fuck you that was fun. Anyways, I
Speaker 1: wanted to get your thoughts on the idea of starting
Speaker 1: over again. I just came back from teaching English in
Speaker 1: Spain for almost a year. I am back in the
Speaker 1: US and I feel like I'm rebuilding my life again.
Speaker 1: I want to become an electrician, and it seems like
Speaker 1: it's hard as fuck to find work in the field. Now.
Speaker 1: I am trying all available avenues. So the shitheads on
Speaker 1: the computer don't say I didn't look into school or
Speaker 1: anything like that. I'm twenty nine, I have a college degree,
Speaker 1: and I don't know. I feel like I'm existing on
Speaker 1: all that good stuff and I'm kind of free, like
Speaker 1: I don't have to go back to school or reach
Speaker 1: for a goal or a dream. I just did that
Speaker 1: for about a year, so I have to make new
Speaker 1: goals and dreams. Idka if what I said makes sense,
Speaker 1: But yeah, I have a good one. I think I've
Speaker 1: seen some tiktoks about this. I don't know why my
Speaker 1: feet is all like my TikTok feed is all just
Speaker 1: like I'm twenty whatever and this is my I'm thirty whatever.
Speaker 1: And here's what I wish I knew when I was whatever,
Speaker 1: that kind of shit. And I think as you get
Speaker 1: older and as you do more stuff. I mean, you
Speaker 1: just went and taught English in Spain for a year, right,
Speaker 1: like you lived what is a dream for many people.
Speaker 1: And I know this because you know, I've lived a
Speaker 1: lot of things that I feel like have been you know,
Speaker 1: dreams for many people. And I also had a lot
Speaker 1: of times where I felt like, uh, you know, I
Speaker 1: didn't really even need to reach for a goal or
Speaker 1: a dream. Uh. And it does feel kind of boggling.
Speaker 1: But I think as you get older, you just become
Speaker 1: you become a little bit more okay with just existing.
Speaker 1: Like I think when you're young, you're afraid of what
Speaker 1: your life is going to turn out like. And then
Speaker 1: the more of your life that you unravel, especially if
Speaker 1: you know, especially if like listen, especially if you've gotten
Speaker 1: to do cool things like go teach English in Spain
Speaker 1: for a year, and you've made the jump at a
Speaker 1: young age to achieve a lot of your dreams. And
Speaker 1: you've you've done a lot of those things. You kind
Speaker 1: of like, uh stop, you know, like I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say stop caring, but you, yeah, you stop caring. You
Speaker 1: stop getting like stressed out. Uh. So enjoy enjoy the freedom,
Speaker 1: honestly is what I would say. Take it in. Really realize.
Speaker 1: When you're young, you think that you're gonna like discover
Speaker 1: some amazing you're gonna live some amazing dream that's gonna
Speaker 1: lead to your infinite ascension beyond your human form, and
Speaker 1: you're gonna be amazing forever. Uh And I don't know,
Speaker 1: I don't think that happened even if you do reach
Speaker 1: those dreams. So maybe what's happening for you is that
Speaker 1: you've achieved your dreams already and you realize that they
Speaker 1: don't allow you to ascend. So you're just like living
Speaker 1: normal human being life, which, let me tell you, sir,
Speaker 1: is more than an honor of a thing to get
Speaker 1: to do. I'll say that much. Okay, this is from
Speaker 1: Connor subject line twenty eight. And my parents got a divorce. Hey, Lyle,
Speaker 1: my parents recently got divorced and I'm stuck in the middle.
Speaker 1: To keep a long story somewhat short. My dad has
Speaker 1: been an asshole to my mom for years, while keeping
Speaker 1: it hidden from everyone. He's controlling, threatened, physical violence, and
Speaker 1: generally just been mean. My mom finally had enough, filed
Speaker 1: for divorce and moved far away. We are all so
Speaker 1: proud of her. He has refused to take any responsibility
Speaker 1: and is blindsided that she'd ever leave. He blames everything
Speaker 1: on outside forces, Like the literal devil. He's been extremely
Speaker 1: controlling and can't handle when things are out of his control.
Speaker 1: He'll call me bawling, asking why she left him, and
Speaker 1: genuinely doesn't understand what he did wrong. The hardest part
Speaker 1: is my mom still wants to be there for him
Speaker 1: even after everything. She understands why I've pulled away, but
Speaker 1: asks me to help him and not cut him off completely.
Speaker 1: I could go into more detail about things he's done,
Speaker 1: but I don't want this email to get too long.
Speaker 1: Just know he's not the nicest guy. My wife and
Speaker 1: many of my friends think I should cut him off completely.
Speaker 1: I would like to cut him out of my life
Speaker 1: as I like to focus on raising my daughter, but
Speaker 1: it's difficult because no matter how much I want to
Speaker 1: hate him for everything he's done. He's still my dad.
Speaker 1: It leaves me feeling like, no matter what I do,
Speaker 1: I'm letting someone down. I know some listeners probably have
Speaker 1: more experience hating a parent, but this is new to me.
Speaker 1: Hope all this makes some kind of sense. Thank you
Speaker 1: for reading and being Gecko on the internet. Ooh man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's very tough. I mean, I'm I'm I'm so sorry, Connor.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I have any uh I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't really have good advice for this one. I
Speaker 1: would just say that uh hmm, you know it's up
Speaker 1: to you. I mean, you don't have why why, I
Speaker 1: guess do you have to? Here's here's actually what I
Speaker 1: would What I would say is do you have to
Speaker 1: fully fully cut him off? Or can you just be like, listen,
Speaker 1: you can be in my life, but like I'm setting
Speaker 1: boundaries and you gotta like like we can talk occasionally,
Speaker 1: but like you can't call me every day and you
Speaker 1: can't I can't talk to you every day. That's what
Speaker 1: I would do. I think if if I were you, Connor,
Speaker 1: not that I whatever. Yeah, that's what I That's what
Speaker 1: I think I would do. Is I. I think you
Speaker 1: you don't really need to. This doesn't need to be
Speaker 1: like an all or nothing thing if it pains you
Speaker 1: to cut off your dad, but I think setting some
Speaker 1: kind of boundary such that he's not like fully taking
Speaker 1: up one hundred percent of your time and energy, like,
Speaker 1: don't let don't set make Here's what I'd say, Set
Speaker 1: a finite amount of energy that you're willing to dedicate
Speaker 1: towards that relationship, and do not let that finite amount
Speaker 1: of energy be drained past its finiteness in any small way.
Speaker 1: Don't do that, but make sure you because if you
Speaker 1: don't set an amount of energy, it's going to just
Speaker 1: drain infinitely. So you don't have to fully cut him
Speaker 1: off if that doesn't feel right to you, but you
Speaker 1: also can't let him infinitely drain your energy. So you know,
Speaker 1: I think you just kind of need more defined boundaries
Speaker 1: on that. Okay, let's see. This is from Rachel subject
Speaker 1: line little things are truly life's joy, Hi gek. I
Speaker 1: don't really have anything of super importance or lore material
Speaker 1: to share, but one time I was having a really
Speaker 1: bad week and I was just bummed out for an
Speaker 1: entire day. I was working that day, and when I left,
Speaker 1: there was this huge white dog on a walk and
Speaker 1: it was rolling in the grass, and it brought me
Speaker 1: so much joy. I feel like life is truly comprised
Speaker 1: of the simple things that can bring you so much happiness,
Speaker 1: even if it's a dog rolling in grass or having
Speaker 1: someone let you merge in front of them. Anyways, which
Speaker 1: ice cream flavor is the best? I'm lactose intolerant, but
Speaker 1: I really like ice cream. Rachel, Uh, Yeah, I agree. Man.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get all like a fucking wholesome
Speaker 1: dogg o on here, but uh, I do like looking
Speaker 1: at dogs. It makes me very happy to look at dogs.
Speaker 1: You know this happens to me too. Yeah. I'll walk
Speaker 1: around and if I see like a little sheba or
Speaker 1: a big fucking white dog or a nice dog, I'll
Speaker 1: look at it and be like, it's a good dog.
Speaker 1: This is why we like dog because dogs are pure.
Speaker 1: They have no evil in them. They don't have the
Speaker 1: capacity to make decisions that we do, and so they're helpless,
Speaker 1: beautiful creatures, and for some reason they make us happy
Speaker 1: to look at I don't know what the psychology is
Speaker 1: behind that, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that
Speaker 1: my favorite ice cream flavor lately has been the peanut
Speaker 1: butter some'mores flavor of Ben and Jerry's. It's insane. It's
Speaker 1: got like a marshmallow ice cream base with marshmallows, Graham cracker,
Speaker 1: and peanut butter cups. Fuck am I gonna get one
Speaker 1: right after I'm done recording this. This is from Andrew.
Speaker 1: Subject line, I have a seething hatred of iPad babies. Hi, Lyle,
Speaker 1: I am Andrew, and I have a very strong distaste
Speaker 1: for seeing kids with touchscreen tablets and ore phones. I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about teenagers with cell phones. I mean actual
Speaker 1: toddlers with devices at such a young age. It fills
Speaker 1: me with an anger that feels only slightly irrational. But
Speaker 1: the more I dig into the thought of it, it
Speaker 1: only makes me angrier. I'll give some context behind my feelings.
Speaker 1: I have two younger sisters, both of whom I don't
Speaker 1: live with anymore, and they are obsessed with their tablets.
Speaker 1: They are both on the autism spectrum and have their
Speaker 1: own developmental problems. I don't remember specifics on how, but
Speaker 1: the oldest of them was eventually given her own Amazon
Speaker 1: Fire Kid's tablet She was very prone to wrecking them,
Speaker 1: and eventually we had to get back ups to prevent meltdowns.
Speaker 1: She eventually discovered that we had more than one tablet
Speaker 1: in the house and she lost her lid, having meltdowns
Speaker 1: if she didn't have more more than one at a
Speaker 1: time and not understanding that they had to be charged
Speaker 1: to work. It was a constant chore and struggle to
Speaker 1: keep them all decently charged without swiping them away. She
Speaker 1: would sit there with like three of them surrounding her,
Speaker 1: all playing different shit at once, slot from YouTube, PBS, kids, etc.
Speaker 1: This site bothered me to my core. Our one on
Speaker 1: one interactions got fewer and fewer as she grew more
Speaker 1: glued to her devices. She would push us away and
Speaker 1: sometimes got violent when we bothered her, so eventually we
Speaker 1: got used to giving her more alone time than playtime.
Speaker 1: Getting her out of the house is also a struggle.
Speaker 1: It's rare that she even goes outside the front door
Speaker 1: without two tablets in tow. It's been a couple of
Speaker 1: years since I moved out, and the times I visit
Speaker 1: home and see her, I find it hard to see
Speaker 1: any developmental change from when I moved. Always staring at
Speaker 1: her screen, hardly paying attention to the rest of the
Speaker 1: world around her. I genuinely believe that if she had
Speaker 1: never been given that first tablet, she'd be in a
Speaker 1: much better place developmentally. Nowadays, when I see young kids
Speaker 1: with their nose deep on a screen, it fills me
Speaker 1: with a fiery hatred at the parent for not doing
Speaker 1: better to keep their kids occupied with something in the
Speaker 1: real world rather than the digital world. Do you feel
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I'm sure I'm not the only one,
Speaker 1: but I'd like to hear your peace on this. I
Speaker 1: hope if I have a child, i'd be more engaged
Speaker 1: with them more than anything else and teach them one
Speaker 1: on one, maybe with a little bit of Sesame Street
Speaker 1: on TV, but it'd be better than a phone in
Speaker 1: their face. You know, I've been thinking a lot about
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm gonna have kids anytime soon, but
Speaker 1: i'd like to in my life at some point. And
Speaker 1: you know, I think about shit like this because it's weird, man.
Speaker 1: I mean, I grew up and like my whole thing
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, and I don't really I
Speaker 1: guess I don't really know how old your sisters are.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna guess I'm gonna guess your sisters are like
Speaker 1: in middle school age or high school age. Maybe I'll
Speaker 1: go ahead and got I'll go ahead and assume like
Speaker 1: middle school age. But I mean, yeah, when I was
Speaker 1: growing up, I was a like video games for my
Speaker 1: fucking thing, dude, Like the Game Boy Advance, the GameCube,
Speaker 1: the Wei. And you know, I got my first iPhone
Speaker 1: when I was like thirteen, and I was playing games
Speaker 1: on it and shit, and uh, you know, I turned
Speaker 1: out okay. And I think actually, even like, you know,
Speaker 1: the fact that I had those things is allows me
Speaker 1: to kind of be you know, I mean, a lot
Speaker 1: of my job and a lot of my life has
Speaker 1: been technology based, and I think, you know, it's like
Speaker 1: it's tricky. All this is to say is that it's tricky, man,
Speaker 1: because I also think if I have a kid, i'd
Speaker 1: like to you know, I think it would be unrealistic
Speaker 1: to say that if I had a kid, I would
Speaker 1: completely keep them off of all any things. I think
Speaker 1: that it's just like unrealistic. But uh, you gotta have
Speaker 1: a conversation, and you gotta like, if it's if things
Speaker 1: are getting too crazy, you gotta yeah, I agree, you
Speaker 1: gotta kind of monitor it. But I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm talking out of my ass right now. Man, I'm single,
Speaker 1: I don't have many kids, so maybe my I'm I'm
Speaker 1: curious how my thoughts on this will evolve if I
Speaker 1: have a family one day. But yeah, I agree, it's
Speaker 1: it's it's weird because we all did grow up with
Speaker 1: like screens, like you know, uh again, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: people my age group, the game Boy, the fucking TV
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. But it's just so different now
Speaker 1: because you like, the shit is so much more stimulating
Speaker 1: than it was to just like have a TV. It's
Speaker 1: kind of crazy. I mean. Also, I you know, both
Speaker 1: your sisters being on the autism spectrum, I think is
Speaker 1: probably uh, you know, a contributing factor to this. And
Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, maybe it's helpful to them.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not like a child's psychologistment whatever,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure if I was, I'd probably be like, Yo,
Speaker 1: this shit is not good. So I'm with you on that, Andrew,
Speaker 1: I'm with you on that. Okay, I'm gonna do one
Speaker 1: more email. This is from Jason. Subject line profanity. Time
Speaker 1: is the only replaceable. Time is the only irreplaceable resource.
Speaker 1: Thank you for your time. I have recently found your
Speaker 1: show on iHeartRadio. I've listened to three episodes. I enjoy
Speaker 1: your discourse, but I do not understand the overwhelming use
Speaker 1: of profanity. Try using these words as alternative to filth. Okay.
Speaker 1: And then this person wrote a list of about thirty
Speaker 1: different words that they suggest me use besides words like
Speaker 1: hunt and dog, fucker and lizard tits. But I'm not
Speaker 1: going to read any of the any of these words. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll read a couple of them. Zoincs, jeepers, great, Scott. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this person wrote just like a whole list of these words.
Speaker 1: But I like cunting, shitting, dog fucker better than these words.
Speaker 1: But I appreciate the sentiment that you shared. Jason, thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you very much for your feedback, and thank you
Speaker 1: for listening to the show. That's it for gek mal folks.
Speaker 1: I hope you guys had a good time. I hope
Speaker 1: you enjoyed it. I'm working on a bunch of stuff
Speaker 1: right now. Man. You know I'm making one. This is
Speaker 1: kind of the the Gecko. Where the Gecko arc is
Speaker 1: in my life right now? Is that I am like
Speaker 1: steadfast focused on making one documentary month. I'm working right
Speaker 1: now on my documentary of the Gathering of the Juggalos.
Speaker 1: I have a crazy trip planned in two weeks to
Speaker 1: go to a very interesting place and talk to people
Speaker 1: as a get go. I'm not gonna say where it
Speaker 1: is yet, but you guys will find out at the
Speaker 1: end of October when I get that video finished. But yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I'm working on. So I'm trying to make
Speaker 1: one solid documentary a month. Please go check out the
Speaker 1: three that I've made so far. They're all on my
Speaker 1: YouTube channel YouTube dot com slash Lyle Forever. I might
Speaker 1: change the name of that soon. Yeah, that's what's going
Speaker 1: on in my life. I'm just trying to make these documentaries.
Speaker 1: I think you guys will like them. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: evolve this thing into, like you know, making more videos
Speaker 1: on the ground in the world, and I hope you
Speaker 1: guys like them. I always take them and I put
Speaker 1: them on this podcast feed. I just put on my
Speaker 1: Existential Lizard video and my Dance Battle in Tijuana video,
Speaker 1: and I'll be putting on the Gathering of the Juggalos
Speaker 1: video and this next secret one that I'm very excited about.
Speaker 1: But that's it. Thanks for listening to this podcast, Thanks
Speaker 1: for being here. If you want to be on the
Speaker 1: next gek Mail, send an email to Therapy Geckomail at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. If you want to call into the podcast.
Speaker 1: I know it's a little bit confusing as to how,
Speaker 1: but the way I do it is that I go
Speaker 1: on I go live on twitch dot tv, slash lyle forever,
Speaker 1: and whoever fucking joins and calls at whatever time. I
Speaker 1: don't have a stream schedule anymore, I haven't for a while.
Speaker 1: I just kind of go randomly when I you know,
Speaker 1: I make sure I put out two of these podcasts
Speaker 1: a month. I mean a week. I'll put out two
Speaker 1: of these podcasts a week. I've been doing that for
Speaker 1: years and I just kind of go live to make
Speaker 1: them whenever I have time. So go to Twitch dot tv,
Speaker 1: slash lyle forever, follow me, and make sure that you
Speaker 1: have notifications enabled for when I go live, and then
Speaker 1: whenever I go live, you'll get a notification and then
Speaker 1: you'll find out when you can call me to take
Speaker 1: the phone call. So that's the main way to call
Speaker 1: into the show. Other than that, I'll be back on
Speaker 1: Sunday with another episode of this show. My name is Lyle,
Speaker 1: I'm a gecko. Thank you for listening, thank you for
Speaker 1: supporting the show, and I'll see you guys around the universe. Bye.
Speaker 1: Everyone goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 1: Everything goes to just teaching you aloud in the of
Speaker 1: your line, an expert