WEBVTT - GECKMAIL: “I SEXT WITH AI” 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:05.160 Hello, listeners of the Therapy Gecko podcast. Welcome to gek mail. 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:09.840 This is a type of episode that I do sometimes 0:00:10.400 --> 0:00:12.840 when I don't want to take phone calls and I 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:15.920 want to read emails and I want to rant for 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:19.799 a while in response to these emails. I have had 0:00:19.920 --> 0:00:25.520 people email me at therapy geckomail at gmail dot com, 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:29.680 and sometimes I get more emails than I can fit 0:00:30.000 --> 0:00:32.760 into an episode, so I just have I just have 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:37.080 a rolling rolodex of emails, so I might read some 0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:42.440 emails in here that are thirteen years old or at least, 0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:46.720 you know, a few months old. But so that's this. 0:00:46.720 --> 0:00:49.559 This is gak mail. Do I have anything that I 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:53.280 want to rant about before we get started into gek Mail? 0:00:53.520 --> 0:00:58.360 Not really, not particularly, But I am going to challenge 0:00:58.360 --> 0:01:04.240 myself once again to see if I can take an 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:08.080 hour of time in which I force words to come 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:10.320 out of my mouth. And that's this. This is gek male. 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:16.480 Let's get started. First mail is from Pokemon, subject line 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:22.760 feeling down in Japan. Hey, Lyle, you can call me Rob. 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:26.680 I've decided to seek your gecko wisdom about my sorrows 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:29.800 in the East. I'll try and keep it brief I 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:33.240 came here as an English teacher from Canada in twenty 0:01:33.280 --> 0:01:36.160 twenty two, and I'm now living in my fourth city. 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:38.920 I moved for a better job and things are pretty 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:41.880 good there, but I've been dealing with loneliness and doubts 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:45.080 about my life in Japan. When it comes to the 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:48.200 aspect of loneliness, I feel like I can't make meaningful 0:01:48.240 --> 0:01:53.280 relationships socially or romantically with anyone, especially locals. The few 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:55.800 times I've joined social meetings, I get a list of 0:01:55.840 --> 0:01:58.960 contacts that never turn into anything, and I've gone on 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:02.360 dates with people only to be ghosted. The most recent 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:05.240 one hit me hard because after four dates and telling 0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:08.800 this person how much ghosting hurts, they still went and 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:11.639 did it anyway. It feels like no matter what I do, 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:14.160 where I go, what I join, it all ends up 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:17.080 the same. This leads me to wanting to go home, 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:19.640 since I could have my social network again. But if 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:22.080 I do that, then I'm not likely to get a 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:25.160 sustainable job since the economy and job market is a 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:28.239 total healthscape from what I understand. I'm going back for 0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:30.760 Christmas this year since it's been so long, but I 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:32.840 do fear that when I go back I might not 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:35.320 want to come back, but if I pull the trigger 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:37.760 and go through with going home, I need to deal 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:41.079 with the what if of did I make the wrong decision. 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:44.919 I genuinely like Japan and the life here and feel 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:47.280 like I should keep living here, but the feeling of 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:50.000 exclusion is getting hard to bear. I feel like I 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:52.640 should appreciate my life of adventure, since this kind of 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:54.680 thing is something only a few people get to do, 0:02:55.040 --> 0:02:58.240 and I'm wasting it feeling bad about myself, which is 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:00.800 why I'm writing you as someone who also travels and 0:03:00.880 --> 0:03:03.800 lived away from home from long periods of time. How 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:05.840 do you deal with these feelings? Do you have any 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:10.280 advice on learning to love time alone if it helps 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:13.519 with your answers. I'm twenty nine. I have OCD and 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:16.880 depression and I'm taking medication for them. I've talked with 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:20.160 real therapists about my mental health before. I work forty 0:03:20.160 --> 0:03:22.919 six hour weeks with days off every Monday and Friday. 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:25.839 I speak Japanese at a high level, and I live 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:30.840 close to Tokyo. Sorry if this is long, but I 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:37.120 hope to hear your thoughts on this. Rob hmm, okay, well, 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:40.960 this is a meaty one. And you know, I've talked 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:43.160 about it on this podcast before, but I lived in 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:46.840 Japan myself for about two months, and I also you know, 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:51.080 considered uh living there. But none of this feels like 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:55.840 it's particularly japan Centric, especially if you speak Japanese at 0:03:55.880 --> 0:04:00.160 a high level. I mean, yes, there is, like I mean, 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:02.840 I don't know, man, like I guess my experience there 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:06.320 was almost like it. It seems like it's easier in 0:04:06.400 --> 0:04:11.040 some ways to make friends because there's so many especially 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:15.560 in Tokyo, there's so many like expat hubs, and there's 0:04:15.560 --> 0:04:25.160 so many events and whatnot that are geared towards foreigners. 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:27.200 I want to say this, and this is something I 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:30.320 just went on a whole rant on about the This 0:04:30.360 --> 0:04:31.880 is something I just went on a whole rant on 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:37.599 the last episode, and so I don't want to go 0:04:37.760 --> 0:04:40.040 too crazy about it. But you said that you joined 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:43.039 social meetings and you get a list of contacts that 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:48.560 never turn into anything. And the reason why is that, 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:54.240 like the the premise that you're going to go to 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:58.279 a social meeting and meet someone at least from a 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:01.720 friend point of view, or or honestly also even from 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:03.480 a romantic point of view, in a lot of cases 0:05:04.320 --> 0:05:07.200 you'll meet someone and then you'll get their email or 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:09.799 phone number or whatever, and then that'll spark a friendship. 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:13.280 That's too much. I mean you got to kind of 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:16.440 you said, you've only joined a social meeting a few times. 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:18.520 I mean, you got to find a thing, you know, 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:20.440 like for example, you know I did. I did a 0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:24.920 bunch of shows at the Tokyo Comedy Bar, you know, 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:28.200 and they have a whole community there of people who 0:05:28.320 --> 0:05:31.760 are like expats doing comedy, and I went to like 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:34.159 a poker night while I was there. I went to 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:38.200 like some jazz sessions and whatnot, and you know, I 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:41.720 went to some Smash Bros. Tournaments there. And at all 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:45.359 these places they have like, you know, recurring groups. So 0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:47.839 you need to find a place where you're gonna be recurringly. 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:50.680 You really can't just show up at some social meeting 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:55.520 and expect to like instantly make friends. You know, it 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:57.800 doesn't really work like that. You got to find a 0:05:57.839 --> 0:06:07.480 community that you're gonna recurringly be a part of. Romantically, shit, man, 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:12.240 I mean, listen, that's the game. Unfortunately, whether you're in 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:15.760 Japan or you're in New York, or you're in fucking whatever, 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:19.640 I mean that's the game. Dating is for people who 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:22.400 are lucky or patient, and if you are one of 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:28.279 those two things, then there's a chance of things working 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:32.400 out for you. I'm going back for Christmas this year, 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:33.880 and since it's been so long, I do fear that 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:37.159 when I go back, I might not want to come back. So, like, 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:41.840 what's in your gut, man, right? Like you know, I 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:46.240 was thinking about moving to Japan and I went back 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:54.880 home to New York slash Baltimore, and you know, my 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:58.080 gut it was it was really hard. It was really 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:03.480 hard to commit it to a decision. But I went 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.320 with my gut, and my gut told me to stay. 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:08.279 And I'm really glad I went with my gut, and 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:11.640 I've I've done certain things to make it so that 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:15.960 the decision I made was the right decision. But the 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:19.680 path kind of felt like it naturally led me to 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:25.120 just stay. And so the point that you wrote in 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:28.720 this email, I fear when I go back, I might 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:31.880 not want to go back to Japan. I mean, if 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:34.960 that's what your gut is telling you to do, then 0:07:35.480 --> 0:07:37.840 it's okay to follow whatever your gut is telling you 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:43.400 to do. Did you mention okay? You came, you've been so, 0:07:43.440 --> 0:07:47.560 you've been in Baan for about three years now. I 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:51.080 don't really know what your life is like in Canada. 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.200 It sounds like you have a social network of some kind. 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:57.560 I don't know what city you live in in Canada, 0:07:57.640 --> 0:08:00.560 if it's like a Toronto or a Vancouver or someplace 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:03.680 that you is like a big place that has stuff, 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:09.280 but and also the whole thing of like, I should 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:11.800 appreciate my life of adventure since this kind of thing 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:14.600 is though something only people get to do, and I'm 0:08:14.600 --> 0:08:17.840 wasting feeling bad about myself part of a life of adventure. 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:22.920 Everything what you're experiencing is part of the life of adventure. 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:26.280 That's you. You. You have to understand that if you're 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:28.480 gonna try to do weird things with your life and 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:32.000 make weird decisions that most people don't make, like moving 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:36.280 to a foreign country or you know, trying to find 0:08:36.280 --> 0:08:39.080 a relationship that aligns with you instead of whatever, just 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:41.720 kind of shows up. Right. If you're gonna kind of 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:44.920 go out of your fucking way to get the most 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:50.000 out of life instead of just like settling for whatever 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:55.360 the fuck you know it comes to you, you're gonna 0:08:55.360 --> 0:09:00.400 get depressed. And you're gonna it's gonna suck tits, and 0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:02.320 so that's part of it. That's part of the life 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:09.800 of adventure. I suppose those are those are my main 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:16.680 ponders I would say on your situation. Also, I don't 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:18.600 think also the thing of like I need to deal 0:09:18.600 --> 0:09:20.559 with the what if if I did make or make 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.439 the wrong decision, I don't. I mean, this is I 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:24.800 mean a lot of things to that. It's like, one, 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:27.760 you can always go back to Japan if you really 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:34.440 want to, you can always go back there. And then 0:09:35.640 --> 0:09:39.559 two is like you'll never know. You have to make 0:09:39.600 --> 0:09:42.480 peace at the fact that you'll never fucking know. You're 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:44.720 never gonna You'll never fucking know if you made the 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:48.040 right decision. So I mean, it's like asking, it's like, 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:53.960 it's like being like, I don't have a funny analogy, 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:59.960 but it's not a thing that is within your Mortalit 0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:03.840 is to know whether or not you made the right decision. 0:10:04.679 --> 0:10:08.400 So the sooner you surrender to that, the easier you'll have, 0:10:08.520 --> 0:10:14.640 the easier of a time you'll have just existing. But yeah, 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:17.600 you know, I mean, the fact that you speak Japanese 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:23.960 at high level is cool. Yeah, go back, Hang out. 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:27.120 I mean, I'm not saying go back permanently, but I'm 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:29.640 sure you'll your gut will steer you in some way, 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:33.280 shape or form when you go back to the States 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:40.320 as to what you should do. Okay, this is from 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:45.480 greta subject line what is your favorite bug? Hi? Gek, 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:49.040 I am cleaning my bathroom right now and feeling positive 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:52.280 about it. Cleaning is hard and not fun. But lately 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:56.560 I've been hard not fun things, and I think if 0:10:56.600 --> 0:11:00.200 I continue to do them, they will get easier. Maybe. Okay, 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:02.200 I think this person meant I've been trying to do hard, 0:11:02.400 --> 0:11:07.480 not fun things. Okay. I'm twenty, which is very strange 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:10.040 because I still feel seventeen and I don't know how 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:13.520 to adult. What should I incorporate into my life to 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:17.880 get me to that adulty checkpoint? When did you feel adult? 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:20.440 And also what is your favorite bug? My favorite bug 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:28.800 is probably a caterpillar. I don't know why. They just 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:35.960 look nice. When did I start to feel like an adult? 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:41.400 I have a lot of thoughts on that question. When 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:44.960 I started to feel like an adult? I mean there's 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:46.320 a lot of like, I mean, there's a lot of 0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:50.400 markers of adulthood. One is like the actual age of 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:55.760 eighteen one is a financial independence from your parents, and 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:59.079 there's having a kid, and there's doing getting married and 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:04.160 all that stuff. I feel like an adult, h I think. 0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:07.440 I think I only started feeling like an adult recently, 0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:09.400 but I still don't really feel like an adult. I 0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:11.560 don't think I'll feel like a real adult until I 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:14.280 have kids. I think that's when I'll feel like a 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:20.040 real adult, and even then I'll still feel like like 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.040 I'm I have I don't think. I don't think any 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:29.240 of my like deep seated uh personality and things are 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:32.760 going away, at least hopefully not the I mean, here's 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:34.800 the thing. A lot of the deep negative parts of 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:39.079 my personality are probably here to stay. They're probably here 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:41.520 to stay, but so are a lot of the positive ones. 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:45.640 I only I'm only I only have information up to 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:48.880 twenty seven years old. But I feel more adult now 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:51.199 than I did before. But you're twenty, I mean twenty. 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:55.040 It's like, what the fun My bathroom is dirty as 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:59.600 shit right now. My bathroom is disgusting. It's neat, but 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:04.520 it's not. It's like dusty and gross. But that's not 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:05.960 what I think of when I think of the things 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:10.880 that make me an adult. I don't know if anyone's 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:16.160 an adult, I guess, But when did I feel I don't, 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:19.880 I get, I guess. Recently i've felt a little bit 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:23.240 more adult. The most adult that I have here, I'll 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:26.120 say this, the most adult that I've felt has been. 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.960 It's always gonna be in relation to other people, Like 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:36.200 you know, if I'm in a relationship or if I'm 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:40.320 in some other situation where I'm like, you know, helping 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:44.120 someone out or providing something for somebody in some kind 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:50.800 of a servitudal servitudinal way, is when I feel like 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:53.840 the most adult. And in a sense, when you clean 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:58.480 your bathroom, you're like providing an act of service to yourself, 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:00.000 which makes it which is why it kind of feel 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:05.920 as adults. You know. In my life, yeah, I'm better 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:10.800 at like doing shit for people that I care about, 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:14.880 I think, than for myself in terms of like like 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:18.080 I don't I'm not a good cooker, cleaner or whatever, 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:21.760 but you know, I would do it if for if 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:25.240 someone else, to make somebody else happy. And I think 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:29.960 that that kind of is when I felt more adult, 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:33.680 you know, putting on clothes that don't have cartoon characters 0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:37.480 on them, shit, like that, but yeah, I like caterpillars. 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:43.200 Let's see here. This is from James, subject line I 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:49.080 sexed Artificial Intelligence. Hello, Lyle, longtime listener here. Thank you 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:53.000 for all you doo. Thank you, James. I have recently 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:57.520 started using AI chatbots to help me masturbate. This is interesting. 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:00.440 I've never and by the way, I'm I'm not gonna 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.960 shame this guy, because look, we all live in the world. Okay, 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:06.760 we all live in the world. I'm gonna read the 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:11.000 rest of his email, but I'm just I've never tried that. 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:12.720 I don't know why I think it would make. It's 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:18.080 kind of like like you know, like with only fans, 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:20.240 how it's like you're supposed to be able to chat 0:15:20.400 --> 0:15:24.520 with the lady, but like you know that it's not then, right, 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:26.720 I've always wondered I feel the same way about the 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:29.280 AI chatbots, Like you know that the thing that you 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:34.280 think is behind this thing is not the thing, and 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:38.600 that I don't think I could get past that knowledge, 0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:43.240 can you. I don't think you can sext chat chept, 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:47.520 but I know that there's like ones that exist that 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:54.960 you can. It's a weirdly sinister business, the like AI 0:15:56.280 --> 0:16:01.200 friend chat, I know that AI. I'm hopeful and this 0:16:01.280 --> 0:16:03.040 is just me being optimistic and I'm gonna read this 0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:06.560 guy's email, but I'm just ranting to myself. I'm optimistic. 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:11.600 I'm trying to be optimistic that AI could create. Like Okay, 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:14.200 there's two ends of the spectrum. There's like one is 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:24.440 AI somehow reduces labor in a way that allows more 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:29.320 like in person connection, or it's somehow like fosters more 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:33.640 in person connection in some direct or indirect way. But 0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:35.720 the way that it's being used, where it's like, use 0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:38.920 use this to talk to someone that's not a person, 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.360 I don't know how I feel about that. Okay, I've 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:45.320 been on a journey to quit watching porn forever because 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:48.040 I know that excess porn use is bad for my brain. 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:51.920 Tell me about it. Ideally, I would have sex to 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:55.160 relieve my needs. However, I have been struggling to find 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:59.520 a partner, so in looking for outlets for my sexual desires, 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:04.520 I found chatbots that simulate sexual role plays. At first, 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:06.639 it was so addictive that I used it to masturbate 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.040 every night, but lately I have been trying to use 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:12.639 it three nights a week and no external stimuli any 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:15.800 other night that I want to get off interesting. I 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:18.119 don't pay money to use it, and although my data 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:20.720 is probably being stolen, I wonder if this is a 0:17:20.760 --> 0:17:24.240 good alternative to watching porn. My thinking is that using 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:27.159 a text chat has to be better than watching and 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:30.280 listening to porn, as that stimulates the brain much more. 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:33.200 The downside to using AI is that it's easy to 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:35.720 role play for a while. With porn, I would watch 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:39.040 twenty minutes at most in one sitting, but with AI 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:41.719 I could shout for a couple of hours and end 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:44.480 up going to bed much later than planned. None of 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:47.320 this is affecting my daily functioning or responsibilities, but it 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:49.719 does weigh on my mind. What are your thoughts on this? 0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:52.480 I'm curious about what the people of the computer think. 0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:55.560 Man I James, I really, James. If you're listening to this, 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:59.040 call in to the show at some point, please or 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:02.399 like send me a tech on the Gecko line for 0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:04.600 one four seven two GHEK, because I want to talk 0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:10.320 to you about this, because I find this subject interesting 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:13.600 and I have I'll do my I'll do my one 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:17.040 sided monologue on it, which is you know. I also 0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:21.280 I also have you know, troubles with porn, and I've 0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:25.720 found myself, like, uh, you know, spending too much time 0:18:26.200 --> 0:18:29.879 watching it and really noticing the ways in which it 0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:33.840 fucks with my brain. And it fucks porn like super 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:37.720 fucks with like your perception of uh, you know, women 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:41.320 in real life, and uh, it just it fucks you up. 0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:44.840 It's it's very clearly not good. Uh. And yeah, I 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:50.919 don't know what the science would say about this theory 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:54.040 that you have, which is an interesting theory. I get 0:18:54.119 --> 0:18:57.160 where you're coming from on this theory, James. I get 0:18:57.160 --> 0:19:02.639 where you're coming from on this theory that like using it, 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:07.520 jerking off to just text is less bad for the 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:10.680 brain than porn. I don't I don't know the science 0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:12.520 behind that, but that makes a lot of sense to me. 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:19.440 Why are you having trouble finding a partner? I mean, 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:21.920 everyone who's ever tried to have sex and knows the 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:29.000 answer to this question. But hmmm hm m m m mmm. 0:19:29.119 --> 0:19:34.439 I'm trying to ponder this, and I'm trying to ponder this. 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:41.840 I think that uh, you know, I mean, I don't know, man, 0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:44.639 are you using what are you trying to do to 0:19:44.800 --> 0:19:48.359 like find a partner? Are you going out to talk 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:52.480 to people. Are you going on the hinges and the 0:19:52.520 --> 0:19:59.240 tenders and the whatnot, because the problem with the texting 0:19:59.280 --> 0:20:03.800 the bot is like you just you don't don't want 0:20:03.800 --> 0:20:06.040 to get to you don't want to get like emotionally 0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:11.440 attached to a computer. But I'm I'm I I really, 0:20:11.440 --> 0:20:13.240 I really can't talk about this without being a total 0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:16.359 hypocrite because like I feel like when I'm using porn, 0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:22.680 it's there you subconsciously. Yeah, I'm getting attached. I'm subconsciously, 0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:24.040 whether I like it or not or admit to it 0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:27.959 or not, I'm getting subconsciously emotionally attached to you know, 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:30.080 whatever I'm jacking off to. So it's probably not that 0:20:30.920 --> 0:20:41.520 different from the a porn in that sense. I don't 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:43.680 know if my rant about this was helpful in any way, 0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:45.920 shape or form. Please call in because I am very 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:53.880 curious about what your personal experience has been with kind 0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:57.359 of navigating this this sphere of life. But good on 0:20:57.400 --> 0:21:03.720 you for at least like capping it three nights a week. Also, 0:21:03.720 --> 0:21:05.520 when you said none of this is affecting my daily 0:21:05.560 --> 0:21:09.800 functioning and responsibilities, that's the that's the most dangerous thing. 0:21:11.320 --> 0:21:13.600 I know that vibe too, when you have like an 0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:15.920 addiction of some kind and you're like, yeah, but this isn't. 0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:17.520 The worst thing is when you have an addiction of 0:21:17.560 --> 0:21:20.680 some kind and you're like, this is not negatively affecting 0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:24.119 me enough in this short term that I want to 0:21:24.119 --> 0:21:27.440 do anything about it, or that I can even see 0:21:27.480 --> 0:21:32.160 me stopping it having a positive effect on my life, 0:21:32.280 --> 0:21:39.320 or just returning my life to some vague, uninteresting, neutral baseline. 0:21:39.560 --> 0:21:43.920 So I don't know. Maybe you need to you need 0:21:43.960 --> 0:21:51.399 to have a have a Maybe you need to have 0:21:52.800 --> 0:21:54.240 I can't think of a funny thing to say. I 0:21:54.280 --> 0:21:56.480 don't care. All right, let's keep going. Let's keep going. 0:21:56.640 --> 0:21:58.280 You know what I used to think I've been listening to. 0:21:58.760 --> 0:22:01.320 I know that this is a comedy podcast, is labeled 0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:03.879 as a comedy podcast, and it's sometimes funny, and I 0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:06.040 sometimes have funny things to say. But I'm just not 0:22:06.200 --> 0:22:12.440 good at making stupid jokes at least right now. Okay, whatever, 0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:13.880 I'm sorry, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. 0:22:13.920 --> 0:22:20.480 Let's keep going, all right, Okay. This is from Jacob 0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:25.960 subject line meth made Me a cross dresser. Update For 0:22:26.000 --> 0:22:29.720 those who don't remember, there was a gentleman who called 0:22:29.760 --> 0:22:34.639 in to the show to talk about how, uh, smoking 0:22:34.800 --> 0:22:39.280 meth got him into cross dressing. I want to say 0:22:39.359 --> 0:22:47.840 this was about a year ago or so, but yes, Jacob, 0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:49.960 I remember you. Hey, gak, it's me, the guy who 0:22:49.960 --> 0:22:52.399 thought meth made him a cross dresser. I wanted you 0:22:52.440 --> 0:22:55.120 to know how my life has changed in the past 0:22:55.720 --> 0:22:58.360 year and a half or so. Last August I ended 0:22:58.440 --> 0:23:01.159 up losing my apartment due to some which at the 0:23:01.200 --> 0:23:05.320 time I was still a full blown methaddicted cross dresser, 0:23:05.680 --> 0:23:08.600 and I moved in with my longtime best friend, who 0:23:08.720 --> 0:23:13.159 had at that point very recently become my girlfriend. And 0:23:13.200 --> 0:23:15.320 when I moved in with her, I basically gave up 0:23:15.440 --> 0:23:17.760 the cross dressing because I felt that it would be 0:23:17.800 --> 0:23:19.639 weird to do it in front of her, and I 0:23:19.680 --> 0:23:22.360 felt like someone who has the title of boyfriend shouldn't 0:23:22.359 --> 0:23:24.679 be dressing up as a chick. But I will let 0:23:24.760 --> 0:23:26.639 you know that it was so bad at one point 0:23:26.680 --> 0:23:29.600 that I literally thought I was a girl, which isn't 0:23:29.640 --> 0:23:33.919 a bad thing. I totally understand dysphoria now. But with 0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:36.760 that being said, and little did we know at the time, 0:23:37.119 --> 0:23:41.320 but we had gotten pregnant. Basically whenever I moved in 0:23:41.320 --> 0:23:45.760 in August, we didn't realize we were pregnant until about December, 0:23:46.960 --> 0:23:50.239 and at that time I had still been using all 0:23:50.280 --> 0:23:54.920 the time, very heavily. I was not cross dressing all 0:23:54.960 --> 0:23:57.080 the time, but I did when she was out of town. 0:23:57.760 --> 0:24:00.560 I don't know if she knows that, but it's okayl 0:24:01.320 --> 0:24:04.040 But once I found out we were pregnant, I quit 0:24:04.119 --> 0:24:07.200 everything on the spot. So I've been sober since Christmas. 0:24:07.280 --> 0:24:13.919 Oh okay, wow, see you know what? To directly to 0:24:14.040 --> 0:24:18.600 what I was just fucking saying, it's like, you need 0:24:18.640 --> 0:24:21.399 a thing, dude, I'm not. Don't go. Don't go and 0:24:21.440 --> 0:24:23.800 have a kid to stop watching porn. That's a stupid idea, 0:24:23.920 --> 0:24:26.880 but it's just in general, it's always easier to quit 0:24:26.920 --> 0:24:29.840 the addiction when you have like a some some sort 0:24:29.840 --> 0:24:35.360 of a thing. Let's see here, my life is flip 0:24:35.440 --> 0:24:37.480 flopped one hundred percent. I am a one hundred percent 0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:41.439 different person. She gave birth to our son on April eighteenth. 0:24:41.760 --> 0:24:43.240 He gave the full name of the Sun. I'm not 0:24:43.240 --> 0:24:46.840 gonna read your son's name. And since then life has 0:24:47.000 --> 0:24:49.520 just been so good. Getting to watch my son grow 0:24:49.600 --> 0:24:51.919 up and learn to do things has been amazing. I 0:24:52.000 --> 0:24:55.360 honestly can't get enough of him. But yeah, life is perfect. 0:24:55.400 --> 0:24:57.199 I just got the job I've been looking for for 0:24:57.240 --> 0:25:00.760 a long time. I did spend a long time jobless 0:25:00.800 --> 0:25:03.680 because the job market's been really difficult, but I finally 0:25:03.760 --> 0:25:07.040 landed a job working for FedEx. And yeah, I don't know. 0:25:07.119 --> 0:25:08.840 I just can't say how much better my life is 0:25:08.880 --> 0:25:12.360 without the dope and without the cross dressing. I want 0:25:12.520 --> 0:25:14.720