1 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, or more, 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com. 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 1: All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter. 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,799 Speaker 1: We get your letter. We could be reading your letter 6 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: live on the air. Try to help you out, Try 7 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 1: to help you. That's what we do around here. And 8 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 1: you never know what letter we read. It could be yours. Okay, 9 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: you never know. Buckle up and hold on tight. We 10 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,880 Speaker 1: got it for you here. It is Strawberry Letter. Subject 11 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:37,120 Speaker 1: my man moves mysteriously. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm a forty 12 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: two year old woman and I've been in a relationship 13 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: with a forty five year old man for three years. 14 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: For the past two years, he's been living with me 15 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:49,480 Speaker 1: because he needed some house repairs done around Christmas time 16 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:52,240 Speaker 1: last year. I caught him at his own house one 17 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: Saturday when he was supposed to be visiting his parents 18 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: in South Carolina. I pulled up in his driveway and 19 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 1: he met me at the door, and he told me 20 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: that it was a dusty mess inside like a construction site, 21 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,319 Speaker 1: and I didn't need to come in He also didn't 22 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 1: hug or kiss me and said he was too dirty 23 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 1: from working all day. I never questioned him about not 24 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: telling me he was still in town because I never 25 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: want to be a nagger like his ex wife. He 26 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: did not come home that night. The next morning, he 27 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 1: came home and he had shaved and he had on 28 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,680 Speaker 1: dress pants. He said he went to church because his 29 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: co worker got baptized. This man threw me into a lot, 30 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 1: into a lot within twenty four hours, and I still 31 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: didn't nag or ask him any questions. For the next 32 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: few months, he would leave the house and wouldn't say 33 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: where he was going. I would ride by his house, 34 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 1: but the garage was always down, so if he was 35 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: in there, I couldn't tell. Last month, he said he 36 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: was finished with his house and he was selling it. 37 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: He said he felt like he was wearing out his 38 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: welcome with me and he might go stay with his 39 00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: parents until he finds a new house. I told him 40 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: I wanted to see how he renovated his house, and 41 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: he said that there's a tenant running it now. I had. 42 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,959 Speaker 1: I had a look of confusion, and he went off 43 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: on me for not believing him. So much is going 44 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: on with him, and I don't know if I should 45 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: believe him. He still says he loves me and we 46 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: still have sex, So why is he keeping me in 47 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: the dark? What's he up to? Well, there's nothing too 48 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 1: mysterious about him, there really isn't. It's just a lot 49 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: of lies. He's up to something something, for sure, and 50 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 1: everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. 51 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: I mean, I'll admit that house repairs can take a 52 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: very long time, but he's been living with you for 53 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: the last two years, so please don't believe anything he says. 54 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: He could have had a whole house built in two 55 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: years or less. Okay, anyway, all the clues are there. First, 56 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: not telling you he was still in town when he was, 57 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,919 Speaker 1: then preventing you from going in the house when you 58 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: were in the driveway, not hugging, not kissing you when 59 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: he saw you, because I'm sure that's what he normally does. 60 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 1: Who do you think is in that house that he's 61 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 1: supposedly selling right now? Is it a wife in there? 62 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 1: Is it his kids? Think? Think Think you're worried about 63 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: not being a nag, but you're worried about the wrong things. 64 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: You still have to ask questions. You obviously can't take 65 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 1: his word for anything, and you're feeling it. You know 66 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: something isn't quite right. You definitely need receipts when he 67 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: tells you things. Okay, Now he's moving out because he 68 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 1: thinks he's worn out. He's welcome with you. No, you 69 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 1: didn't tell him that. He thinks that you may be 70 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: onto him, and he knows he's wrong. That's why he's leaving. 71 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: I know you think he loves you and you're confused, 72 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 1: but please, love has nothing to do with this relationship. Nothing. 73 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: There's really no mystery at all about him. Like I 74 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: said earlier, I think you should break up with this 75 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 1: loser and please stop having sex with him until he 76 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 1: comes clean. And that's not gonna happen. Steve, Wow, where 77 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 1: where are these women who write these letters? I didn't 78 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: know that you could be this gullible. I just really didn't. Man, 79 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 1: it doesn't it doesn't almost doesn't make any sense. You know. 80 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: I'm starting to think that women, women would rather be 81 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:27,160 Speaker 1: in a relationship of some kind than to be in 82 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:34,240 Speaker 1: a real relationship of some kind. I think it's you 83 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 1: keep holding onto these relationships that aren't rewarding and are 84 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: not fulfilling. To you, just so you can say you 85 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: in one, because this doesn't make no damn sense. You're 86 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,359 Speaker 1: forty two, forty five, you've been in a relationship for 87 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 1: three years. Past two years we've been he's been living 88 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: with you because he needed some house repairs done two years. Okay, 89 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: around Christmas time last year, I caught him at his 90 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: own house one Saturday when he was supposed to be 91 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: visiting his parents in South Carolina. I pulled up in 92 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 1: his driveway. He met me at the door and told 93 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,720 Speaker 1: me it was dusty mess inside of the the construction site. 94 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 1: I didn't need to come in. He also didn't hug 95 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: or kiss me. He said he was too dirty from 96 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 1: working all day. And that's all he had to tell you. 97 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,720 Speaker 1: Go up to the house. It's too damn dirty here now, 98 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: but it's too damn dirty for you. He don't hug 99 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: or kiss you because he too dirty. That's all he 100 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,160 Speaker 1: had to tell you, and you went for that, Okay. 101 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: I never questioned him about telling me oh he was 102 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: still in town, because I never want to be a 103 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: nagger like his ex wife. Okay, So now you're being 104 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:56,800 Speaker 1: you're getting played. You're actually creating the perfect scenario an 105 00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 1: excuse that he needs to do whatever he needs to do, 106 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: and that's all you doing. So now you've created the 107 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: atmosphere for him to thrive in and tell you anything 108 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: he wants to tell you, and you're just going along 109 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 1: with it. I don't want to be a nagger like 110 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:25,039 Speaker 1: his ex wife. Well why was she nagging? Hell, you 111 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 1: gotta understand something, now, most women don't nag for no reason. 112 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: They've been given a reason. That how some we women 113 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,840 Speaker 1: who do. But most women that nag you about something 114 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,440 Speaker 1: is because you gave him a reason too. And I 115 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: think he gave the X a reason. Yeah, hold that. 116 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 1: Well that Part two of Steve's response coming up at 117 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Today's Strawberry Letter subject 118 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 1: is my man moves mysteriously. We'll get right back into 119 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve, 120 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:04,159 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. My man moves mysteriously. This 121 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 1: lady right Hill is so gullible in this letter. Like 122 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: I said, it just makes me think that women would 123 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: rather have some relationship than a real relationship. And your 124 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 1: real relationship meaning that you're rewarded, you're fulfilled, you're complete, 125 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 1: so you deal with all these inconsistencies, and it don't 126 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:27,440 Speaker 1: make no sense. You've been dating this man three years. 127 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: Two years ago he moved in your house because he 128 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 1: was doing some house repairs for two years. You went 129 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 1: over his house one Saturday when he said he was 130 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: going to see his mommy in South Carolina. You go 131 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 1: over his house and he supposed to be empty. He's 132 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 1: standing in there working. He meets you at the dough. 133 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: Don't let you in because he's saying the construction citing 134 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: his message. He don't hug and kiss you at the dough. 135 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: And he said the reason he hug and kiss you 136 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: because he'd been working in there all day. You're stupid, 137 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,119 Speaker 1: so you let him tell you that. Then you said, 138 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: I never questioned him about telling me he was still 139 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 1: in town because I never want to be a nagger 140 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 1: like his ex wife. His ex wife was nagging for something. Yes, 141 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: she nagging. And now you're starting to see why I'm 142 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 1: telling you right now. Most women don't nag for no reason. 143 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 1: Some of them do, but the majority of women, you 144 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:19,960 Speaker 1: give them a reason to turn into this nagging. Okay, 145 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 1: ready for this. He did not come home that night. 146 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 1: He didn't come home. He told you he was at 147 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: his mama's house in South Carolina. You go over to 148 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 1: his house and he at that house, he don't let 149 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 1: you in. You drive off. Here the best one I've 150 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: ever heard in my life. He did not come home 151 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 1: that night. The next morning he came home and said, 152 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 1: and he was shaved, and he had on dress pants. 153 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 1: He said he went to church because his co worker 154 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 1: got baptized. Or the best one I ever heard. That's 155 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 1: a good one. That was. What boy, you're proud? I 156 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 1: got my chest out on this. Yeah, I'm shaved and 157 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: got on dress pants because I went to church because 158 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 1: my co worker got baptized. Here's something you can't find 159 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: out if it's true or not. I don't give a 160 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: damn what type of research you do? What church? What coworker? 161 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:29,199 Speaker 1: What job was he referring to? You ain't gonna be 162 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,959 Speaker 1: aby researcher's best live I've ever heard. Co worker got baptized. 163 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 1: Then she say, this man threw me into a lot 164 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,720 Speaker 1: the last twenty four hours. That lie right there, my 165 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: co worker got baptime. That's the best live I've ever heard. 166 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 1: It's so rare it has to be a lie. It. 167 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to write a book called Creative Lies 168 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:56,079 Speaker 1: and just give me. And so this man threw me 169 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,079 Speaker 1: into a lot the last twenty four hours. I still 170 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:02,400 Speaker 1: don't nag or ask him any question. Lady, Okay, so 171 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: now you're just gullible. You're just going along with if 172 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 1: you don't question your relationship on him, you're just going 173 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: along with whatever he's say for next few months. He 174 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: would lead a house. It wouldn't say where he was going. 175 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: Who can do that? Who in a relationship has to 176 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 1: freedom to come and go and never say where you're 177 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,960 Speaker 1: going or when you're coming back. Now, I would ride 178 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,640 Speaker 1: by his house, but the garage was always down, so 179 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 1: if he was there, I couldn't tell. Last month he 180 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 1: said he was finished with his house, and he said 181 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 1: it all right. Now here we go. He said he 182 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,199 Speaker 1: felt like he was wearing out his welcome with me, 183 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 1: and he might go stay with his parents until he 184 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 1: finds a new house. What wait a minute, you leaving me. 185 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 1: You're gonna go live with your mom and him because 186 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 1: you're wearing out you're welcome and you're gonna go stay 187 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: with your parents. Do you find a new house? I 188 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,439 Speaker 1: told him, I wanted to see how I renovated his house. 189 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: Ready for this, he said, there as a tenant written 190 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:09,680 Speaker 1: it right now, a good life. Got to be proud 191 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 1: this boy right here. I love this boy right here. 192 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: So I can't let you in it because the tenant 193 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:19,559 Speaker 1: renting it right now. I had a look of confusion, 194 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 1: and he went off on me for not believing him. 195 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:29,560 Speaker 1: Remember this, anything, best defense is a good offense. Yeah, 196 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:37,319 Speaker 1: so when you look confused, oh, I'm lying up. Yeah, dog, 197 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: she living there and she been living there, and you're 198 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,839 Speaker 1: not fend to go to your mama's house. You're fend 199 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 1: to go over there. So telling you that there's a 200 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: renter in the house and so you don't have to 201 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:50,719 Speaker 1: go by there looking for him no more. And right 202 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 1: out he told you he's gonna put it on the 203 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,439 Speaker 1: market and sell it. If you're gonna put the market 204 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 1: on the selling, why you got a tenant in that 205 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 1: right now? Already? So much is going on with him. 206 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: I don't know if I should believe him. He still 207 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: says he loves me and we still have sex. That's 208 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 1: cause you let him. Yeah, so why is he keeping 209 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,400 Speaker 1: me in the dog? What is he up to? So 210 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 1: you want to know why he's keeping you in the 211 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: dog because you don't seem to have a problem being 212 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 1: in the dark. This is why he don't bring you 213 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 1: into the light, because you don't have a problem being 214 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: in the dark. You don't question him about nothing. You 215 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,319 Speaker 1: don't ask him where he going, what it's worn about? 216 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,559 Speaker 1: You like being in the dog? So now dare you 217 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 1: in the dog? But I'm gonna lightening it up for you. 218 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,200 Speaker 1: There's a woman living in the house that he's seeing. 219 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: He gonna go live him over there, and he ain't 220 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 1: moving in with his mama. Why would he moving in 221 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 1: with a MoMA when he can sleep with you all 222 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: with her ladies? Shut up? Bye? All right, Thanks Steve. 223 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,719 Speaker 1: Please leave your comments on today's Strawberry Letter on the 224 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: Instagram at Steve Harvey Fm and check out the Strawberry 225 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand coming up next in his sports 226 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: talk with Junior. Right after this, you're listening to The 227 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:04,720 Speaker 1: Dame Harday Morning Show.