Speaker 1: Welcome to another chat GPT roast roast from Diamonds in
Speaker 1: the Rough and Erica's already laughing because we're roasting me.
Speaker 1: I knew they would have more goods to roast me.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, look we did. We roasted Erica Jane myself.
Speaker 1: I love when you talk about yourself.
Speaker 2: Well, I sometimes I have to because it's such a disaster.
Speaker 2: You don't want to believe it's herself, which is what
Speaker 2: chat GPT said. So we're here this week a roast
Speaker 2: AI roast of Teddy. You ready, Yeah, I'm ready. Okay,
Speaker 2: here's the bio Tedday Medaling Camp is what happens when
Speaker 2: a fitbit gains sentience and signs with CIA. She joined
Speaker 2: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to bring honesty and accountability,
Speaker 2: but ended up offering all the charisma of a protein shake.
Speaker 1: Those are so charismatic, I know.
Speaker 2: Daughter of rock legend John Mellencamps, Teddy somehow turned her
Speaker 2: VIP lineage into a business model that's fifty percent toxic
Speaker 2: positivity and fifty percent toxic productivity and zero percent fun.
Speaker 2: Her personality is calendar app. She made accountability a brand,
Speaker 2: then forgot to include flavor of flexibility or an actual personality.
Speaker 2: And when she's not harassing you via text message, she's
Speaker 2: co hosting two teensnapab with Tamra Judge. Together, they break
Speaker 2: down Bravo drama with the energy of two PTA moms
Speaker 2: who've had just enough wine to start gossiping about your husband.
Speaker 2: Her stint on Celebrity Big Brother was short lived, being
Speaker 2: the first to be evicted, but hey, at least she's
Speaker 2: consistent in being consistently underwhelming. Oh my god, Teddy's Teddy's
Speaker 2: idea fun a forty five minute walk followed by forty
Speaker 2: five minutes of judging you for not doing a forty
Speaker 2: five minute walk. That is kind of right.
Speaker 1: Exact, well, no, it's a forty five minute walk, and
Speaker 1: then forty five minutes of judging somebody else on one
Speaker 1: of our pops.
Speaker 2: This is true. So I will say I don't really
Speaker 2: necessarily agree with all of this because you know, okay,
Speaker 2: it's okay, because it was no no no, it's no
Speaker 2: no no. But the judging you about the forty five
Speaker 2: minute walk, yes, I do, okay, taglines, I bring the
Speaker 2: accountability even if no one asked for it.
Speaker 1: I'm so disappointed in myself for using the word accountability.
Speaker 1: I didn't really even know what that word was.
Speaker 2: But I just wait, you didn't know what it meant? No,
Speaker 2: ted you like burned it into our brains.
Speaker 1: Because I was saying health and fitness coach at the
Speaker 1: beginning of filming and yeah, like, no, you need to
Speaker 1: say something else, so they told you so. Then No,
Speaker 1: I did what Matt told me. Matt told me.
Speaker 2: To say accountability is your fault?
Speaker 1: Yes, you think I would come up with a big
Speaker 1: word like accountability for fuck's sake?
Speaker 2: All in by Teddy?
Speaker 1: That was by Matt.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: All In by Matt has got me in a lot
Speaker 1: of trouble.
Speaker 2: Wow. So you didn't know what that?
Speaker 1: No, we were in the limo.
Speaker 2: Do you know that every time they say accountability on
Speaker 2: that show, all I can think about is you me too?
Speaker 2: You need to be accountable. I'm like, no, no, no, we
Speaker 2: already did that, like a few years ago. I'm doing
Speaker 2: that anymore.
Speaker 1: No. I remember exactly what happened. I was in like
Speaker 1: one of the cars and I'm like, shit, we're going
Speaker 1: to I think Camille's when she still lived at the beach.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Camille's house outside.
Speaker 1: Wherever it was. I mean, this is first season and
Speaker 1: you guys were grilling me about what I did for
Speaker 1: a living, and I'd already done kind of like one
Speaker 1: of those awkward Beverly Hills photo shoots outside on like
Speaker 1: Beverly Boulevard, like pretending it.
Speaker 2: But I'm in the car, I asked.
Speaker 1: I asked, Matt, I'm like, hey, they keep wanting me
Speaker 1: to change health and Fitness coach. What did I say?
Speaker 1: But that's what you were, I know, and he said, say,
Speaker 1: he goes, well, you could say accountable. I mean, he
Speaker 1: gave me like twenty options and.
Speaker 2: You chose accountability.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, accountability makes sense.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, do you hate it now?
Speaker 1: Now I hate it? But I loved it then. It
Speaker 1: was brilliant. Until I was the least accountable.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, yeah, then it kind of it
Speaker 2: kind of you went down the tubes on that one day.
Speaker 1: Then everybody thought that I was accountable to everything. And
Speaker 1: that's why, See, this is why when you.
Speaker 2: Make a statement like that on one of these shows,
Speaker 2: that it becomes like like the roast last week, me
Speaker 2: being cold, like I'm never you know, like that's forever
Speaker 2: or contempt or whatever, like it's one of those things
Speaker 2: you'll never get away from that.
Speaker 1: I'll never get away from it. And the fact that
Speaker 1: people think I want to get away from being daughter
Speaker 1: of rock legend John Mellencamp. No, wouldn't you wish well?
Speaker 2: I was going to say, that sounds pretty fabulous to me,
Speaker 2: considering I didn't even have a dad, So like, it's
Speaker 2: pretty pretty fucking great.
Speaker 1: I have a funny story about the Koogs. So last
Speaker 1: week I go and do that that event with Kyle right,
Speaker 1: and this band comes up to me and they're like
Speaker 1: Teddy Joe and it's a little big town. Uh huh wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought see.
Speaker 2: And the cool thing is people don't know this, like
Speaker 2: Teddy knows everybody.
Speaker 1: And they remember me from I was a little kid,
Speaker 1: and like it's not like I got anything out of it.
Speaker 1: I don't even ask them for a photo.
Speaker 2: But they know from the time you were a child.
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to take back those memories and
Speaker 1: I don't want to be that person that has to
Speaker 1: run up and be like, hey, excuse me, excuse me,
Speaker 1: sue me like I do for Cruise as friends begging
Speaker 1: for autographs. Oh like if cruse Is gets excited about
Speaker 1: a celebrity. Clearly they have they don't know who John
Speaker 1: Mellencamp or me, are you or anybody they as demographic is.
Speaker 1: But I will run up to like like a YouTuber,
Speaker 1: a YouTube, like a fifteen year old YouTuber. I will
Speaker 1: stand there on the side and act like it's Justin
Speaker 1: Bieber and I'll be.
Speaker 2: Like, excuse me, I'm sorry, my son is a picture.
Speaker 1: But yeah, little big towns like Teddy Joe.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's cool, that's cool. I didn't know YouTubers.
Speaker 1: That's what kids like these.
Speaker 2: I know, I know, born into fame, but I'm still
Speaker 2: trying to find my spotlight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, I'm fine with that.
Speaker 2: I keep people accountable because being fun was never an option. Still. Wait, oh,
Speaker 2: fitness guru by day, Reality TV filler by night.
Speaker 1: You know what a filler is? Like a fluffer. It's
Speaker 1: a job that's necessary.
Speaker 2: You mean, like a porn fluffer. Yeah, oh my god,
Speaker 2: somebody's got to do it, okay. Instagram Feed her Feet
Speaker 2: is a dizzy mix of workout videos, wellness infographics, and
Speaker 2: forced force relatability captions like just a reminder you're doing great,
Speaker 2: said while flexing on a beach at five am. It's
Speaker 2: giving gym teacher energy, but make it influencer. Every post
Speaker 2: is either a sponsored Jim selfie or a motivational quote
Speaker 2: that could double as a threat. Oh my, it's the
Speaker 2: Instagram equivalent of your high school friend who sells essential
Speaker 2: oils and then follows you for eating bread.
Speaker 1: I unfollow my friends that do essential oils.
Speaker 2: Actually, you have friends that do essential oils that sell.
Speaker 1: Them and then you one time buy them and then
Speaker 1: you can never get out.
Speaker 2: Yes, like a pyramid oil ski.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm done with it. Wow to unfollow some people.
Speaker 2: And let's not forget the infamous photo with her dad,
Speaker 2: John Mellencamp that had fans cringing at the thirst level.
Speaker 1: Know what I did? I put my leg up. I
Speaker 1: know what photo it is?
Speaker 2: Was your dad mad?
Speaker 1: No, my dad wasn't mad, but everybody else I was.
Speaker 1: You know how I do my leg like?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you always got your knee popped.
Speaker 1: I popped my knee next to my dad, But it
Speaker 1: looked super high because my dad maybe isn't the tallest,
Speaker 1: he's notive.
Speaker 2: He's not a and you're little Johnson. Maybe John's a
Speaker 2: little smaller. Okay, you ready for your five year plan
Speaker 2: no liter one live, right, we got that. We check
Speaker 2: that off. Five year one live.
Speaker 1: You're laughing a little too hard for the people that
Speaker 1: work with me.
Speaker 2: Okay, you're one. You know what? I Oh my god,
Speaker 2: ah life, Jesus fucking Christ, you're one. Uh And by
Speaker 2: the way, because you said that, like last week when
Speaker 2: I saw this five year planets, the first thing I know, well,
Speaker 2: because it's the first thing I thought, I was like,
Speaker 2: launch all four dogs? What launch all in dogs? A
Speaker 2: pet accountability program? Every doodle in LA is now on
Speaker 2: a green free diet and doing burpies at the dog
Speaker 2: park fountains.
Speaker 1: Kind they missed a joke here, that's actually can Lucy
Speaker 1: Juicy Apple Goosey could have been a part of the program.
Speaker 2: Lucy Juicy Apple Juicy, not Lucy Goosey. I tried to
Speaker 2: block it out.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I you have.
Speaker 2: Much more important things to me. I blocked it out myself.
Speaker 1: And I would never want to run dogs accountability dogs.
Speaker 2: Right, But the doodles need it, their duals need to
Speaker 2: accountability because there are owners.
Speaker 1: Would you want me to be your dog's accountability?
Speaker 2: Actually, my dogs, my all of my dogs are well.
Speaker 2: Then of Thiago are fucking flawless. My dogs are because
Speaker 2: they just they're not allowed. Year three joins another reality
Speaker 2: TV show gets voted off first again.
Speaker 1: Why for winning?
Speaker 2: By the way, I saw Cynthia Bailey we were in
Speaker 2: Portaveyarta last week. Yeah, she said that you were you
Speaker 2: want a big brother with her?
Speaker 1: I was on Big Brother Wall.
Speaker 2: You know. She had the nicest things to say about you.
Speaker 2: Also too, She said they blew you out first because
Speaker 2: they knew you were good, well, because they.
Speaker 1: Told me and I even had asked. They said, don't
Speaker 1: do well in the first competition, but you know my ass.
Speaker 2: Yeah you're so competitive, But she said no, they they
Speaker 2: shipped you out right away because you were a threat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, which, you know what, But I still don't mind it. Really.
Speaker 1: Even my son roasted me, He goes, Mom, you got
Speaker 1: kicked out again first, and that I got kicked out
Speaker 1: again first for the that we both went No. Name
Speaker 1: that tune, Oh.
Speaker 2: Name that name that tune. I lost one America one.
Speaker 2: You become a motivator speaker, but audience finds themselves more
Speaker 2: motivated to leave.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Year five, Oh God, here we go. Two teas in
Speaker 2: a pod. Rebrand says two Teas one echo Chamber. Each episode,
Speaker 2: Tamra and Teddy are agreeing that they're always right, occasionally
Speaker 2: broken up by two hundred ADS for CBD gummies and
Speaker 2: vaginal lasers. That that is a good once.
Speaker 1: This should actually be our new This.
Speaker 2: Is actually that you should actually we should actually take
Speaker 2: this because that is kind.
Speaker 1: Of too tease. Hi, welcome to another episode of two
Speaker 1: Teas in a Pod where we rebrand as an echo chamber.
Speaker 1: We're always right, always wrong, and we want to promote
Speaker 1: your CBD gummies and vaginal lasers.
Speaker 2: Up to two hundred ADS. We have up to two
Speaker 2: hundred ADS space. I have up to two hundred adds space. Okay,
Speaker 2: overall thoughts, Teddy Mellon Camp is like the Parsley Garnish
Speaker 2: on The Real Housewives plate. I hate present, I hate
Speaker 2: Parsley nobody e's it present, but not adding much flavor.
Speaker 2: She's the human equivalent of Jim Waiver of the Gym
Speaker 2: Waiver form SI maybe, but no one's excited to engage.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. She calls herself real but lests me honest.
Speaker 2: She's about as compelling as a half used plan.
Speaker 1: I thought it said boner, and.
Speaker 2: I don't even have a full use boner on RhB.
Speaker 2: She was the moral compass. No one asked for agreed
Speaker 2: bringing that clipboard to a gladiator match. Oh she was,
Speaker 2: she means. So in other words, it's like bringing a
Speaker 2: knife to a gunfight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wasn't ready.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you were playing nice and we were playing mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wasn't ready. You guys saw me in your.
Speaker 2: That's not necessarily true. And I went until you've got.
Speaker 1: Hold it, lady, until I got to teas in a
Speaker 1: pod with two hundred ads and CBT gummy.
Speaker 2: She wasn't here to play games. But fun was never
Speaker 2: on the itinerary.
Speaker 1: You know what. So pretty much what we've summed up
Speaker 1: is I'm.
Speaker 2: Zero fun and you like protein shakes, and you're accountable.
Speaker 1: I'm accountable zero fun. Lose everything first.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you lose everything first because you're competitive. Let's
Speaker 2: be honest. Like, you didn't lose because you were bad.
Speaker 2: They blew you off because you were in it.
Speaker 1: Because the only girl that beat me was the MMA fighter.
Speaker 1: If I would, I asked, I said, if I let go,
Speaker 1: will you keep me? And then I started to let
Speaker 1: go and she goes.
Speaker 2: No, All right, now we're gonna go live and we're
Speaker 2: gonna ask chat GPT, what is Teddy Mellencamp's best quality?
Speaker 2: Your best quality is your discipline.
Speaker 1: This is like when Edwin said my best when they
Speaker 1: said what do you love most about your wife? And
Speaker 1: he said that she's organized.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's why you're divorced.
Speaker 1: What this?
Speaker 2: So you want GPT to say your best quality is
Speaker 2: that you're disciplined and you show up and you like
Speaker 2: fought through cancer and all this kind of stuff. You
Speaker 2: don't want your husband to say she's organized. You see
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, Like chat GPT, Like chat GPT can
Speaker 2: say I'm cold and I'm fine whatever, bring it on.
Speaker 2: But my I wonder what Tom was.
Speaker 1: Like. You wouldn't want Tom to say that you were.
Speaker 2: God only knows what that man I'm would say. I
Speaker 2: probably know.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna zip on over and interview Tom Erica, who right, whatever?
Speaker 2: My god, poor thing? Uh? But yeah, for Edwin to
Speaker 2: say you're organized, but that is that? I feel like
Speaker 2: that's is that in loyalty, you're loyalty.
Speaker 1: I'm loyal and disciplined.
Speaker 2: You are loyal. You are loyal to Kyle Richards and
Speaker 2: disciplined to yourself.
Speaker 1: And after this podcast, I am no longer loyal to
Speaker 1: Erica Jane. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, listen, I'm gonna tell you something, And I mean,
Speaker 2: is you better be loyal to Kyle before you're loyal
Speaker 2: to me, because she's been right there for you.
Speaker 1: I know she's been awesome for you. If here's the thing,
Speaker 1: I think friends are loyal. I'm not going to justify
Speaker 1: the fact that I am very disciplined, and when I
Speaker 1: can't be disciplined, I come unhinged. You saw me when
Speaker 1: you arrived.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's different. I think that being as disciplined
Speaker 2: as you are is why you are where you are,
Speaker 2: in your cancer, in your cancel.
Speaker 1: In your cancel culture.
Speaker 2: It's why you're canceling it. Whatever you're on, we're off
Speaker 2: on me and I'm picking up these strange vibes. Okay,
Speaker 2: so let me here's hold on.
Speaker 1: I need to know what my best features. I need one.
Speaker 2: Finished singing your praises.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't listen. It's gonna seem like I was
Speaker 1: attacking you. Attacking because I know you're you're pretty gpt
Speaker 1: roasting me.
Speaker 2: No, I'm yeah, come for me. I'm not pitying you
Speaker 2: at all. What I was going to say, is your
Speaker 2: discipline is something that has brought you so far through
Speaker 2: your cancer journey. It is true because you've been you've
Speaker 2: been very disciplined about when you found out you have been.
Speaker 1: I am a disciplined person. You're very What my goal
Speaker 1: is in asking you as a friend, how do I
Speaker 1: show more empathy? Don't ask me.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: We've been working on We can't work on that. We're
Speaker 1: not always right on.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's just yeah, but how do I.
Speaker 1: Show the side that my true friends get to see?
Speaker 2: Okay? So, uh huh? Are you comfortable? And this is
Speaker 2: what I'm just going to ask you right now?
Speaker 1: No, I'm in a full sweat.
Speaker 2: No, no, not like that. I know you're sweating. But
Speaker 2: are you comfortable letting people see who you are with
Speaker 2: your friends? Because that I think sometimes people don't understand
Speaker 2: that the show that we're on, that you used to
Speaker 2: be on with me, doesn't really allow for you to
Speaker 2: show your one hundred percent most vulnerable soul because of
Speaker 2: its nature of being you know, conflict and at any
Speaker 2: moment you know, it's like it says a gladiator match.
Speaker 2: So were you comfortable? I don't think your own skin like,
Speaker 2: that's really what it was.
Speaker 1: I think I wish I would have talked about how
Speaker 1: comfortable and uncomfortable I can be in my own skin.
Speaker 1: But I think also I was going through something privately that.
Speaker 2: Was that was seeping out and we couldn't read.
Speaker 1: It, and and everybody was reading it as the wrong thing.
Speaker 2: It's like when I get told I'm cold, No, I'm
Speaker 2: not called. I was fucking just afraid one.
Speaker 1: Person would have just nailed it.
Speaker 2: But also to nobody's a mind reader, and so sometimes
Speaker 2: you want people to pick up on what's bothering you,
Speaker 2: but they can't. Yeah, you know, everybody's involved. I thought
Speaker 2: you would. I have my suspicions, but I didn't know
Speaker 2: you well enough to be like, hey, is there something
Speaker 2: wrong over here that I fail. I'm also one of
Speaker 2: these people that like, if I don't know you that well,
Speaker 2: you're not going to push No, I'm not someone that's
Speaker 2: going to be like, why are you withhold? I don't
Speaker 2: know you well enough to add to hold you to
Speaker 2: get in there and ask uncomfortable questions. And I think we.
Speaker 1: Also, you know, and this isn't to justify my behavior,
Speaker 1: but I went in knowing I can't disappoint my family.
Speaker 1: By family, I mean, my dad was like, you're gonna do.
Speaker 2: A reality talent. I'm sure that.
Speaker 1: That was just And I'm like, your talent is being
Speaker 1: a rock star and mine is.
Speaker 2: To be reality TV luster reality. Well, reality TV does
Speaker 2: not have the best reputation. It has the best characters,
Speaker 2: it has an unbelievable draw, unbelievable pop culture draw, but
Speaker 2: it comes with some real you know cons and it's
Speaker 2: just you know, horrible things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well let's get let's move on to my best quality.
Speaker 2: Let's ask Chatt, what are your best your best features,
Speaker 2: best features, your best features? Teddy Mellencamp's best feature is
Speaker 2: her athletic build organized an athletic build, athletic. I think
Speaker 2: it's wonderful.
Speaker 1: What are the other things?
Speaker 2: All? Honorable? Mention? Your smile, which is so important to you.
Speaker 1: Remember smile is important. But honestly, can't just somebody call
Speaker 1: me hot ever.
Speaker 2: But you are hot? Yeah? Okay, So what do you think?
Speaker 2: What do you think of your chat cheepyte roast.
Speaker 1: I think it's exactly what I thought it was gonna be.
Speaker 2: Me too, That's what I know. It's what I say.
Speaker 1: I know what people come for me, me too, and
Speaker 1: it's it's kind of gives me a little bit of
Speaker 1: peace knowing it's always going to be the same.
Speaker 2: Thing it is. And it's also something that's like, it's obvious,
Speaker 2: we've heard it, and you can go, I see a
Speaker 2: little bit of that. I don't see. I can see
Speaker 2: why someone would say that, but I guess it's.
Speaker 1: I can see, I can see that they're right and
Speaker 1: some ask.
Speaker 2: Of course I could see why they would say it,
Speaker 2: but you're missing some other information because it's not whole.
Speaker 2: I can say, yes, have I been called sure? Have
Speaker 2: I been removed?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Have I been like irritated all the time? But was
Speaker 2: that the entire picture? No?
Speaker 1: No, But also I wish and this isn't you know.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, chat cheepy tea, but I wish they were
Speaker 1: a little bit funnier.
Speaker 2: It was, Well, it's a robot. It's a it's a
Speaker 2: chat bot. It's not like listen chat chat bots be
Speaker 2: far creative if you can hear us.
Speaker 1: Be more creative, be more creative.
Speaker 2: And do we need to talk to we need to
Speaker 2: talk to open AI or whatever whatever sources like, which
Speaker 2: one of y'all is funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who's the funny one, because that's what we need
Speaker 1: for our.
Speaker 2: Next roast our. Next, you know what we should do
Speaker 2: is roast Kyle.
Speaker 1: Oh, we should start roasting our friends and then and
Speaker 1: then they'll pick up the clips. That's act like we
Speaker 1: said it. That's right, and then we'll have to explain
Speaker 1: to them later we didn't do it. Let's just do
Speaker 1: little tiny clips for each one and so then it
Speaker 1: looks like all we did was just each other.
Speaker 2: Yell, we talked about everybody. Actually, that's the way we
Speaker 2: should open this.
Speaker 1: That's that's actually next episode will be roasting every single
Speaker 1: one of our friends and everybody relationships from Clickbait.
Speaker 2: Yes, thanks guys, thank you for joining us on Teddy's Roast.
Speaker 2: By a I