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Speaker 1: Welcome to another chat GPT roast roast from Diamonds in

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Speaker 1: the Rough and Erica's already laughing because we're roasting me.

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Speaker 1: I knew they would have more goods to roast me.

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Speaker 2: Well, okay, look we did. We roasted Erica Jane myself.

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Speaker 1: I love when you talk about yourself.

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Speaker 2: Well, I sometimes I have to because it's such a disaster.

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Speaker 2: You don't want to believe it's herself, which is what

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Speaker 2: chat GPT said. So we're here this week a roast

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Speaker 2: AI roast of Teddy. You ready, Yeah, I'm ready. Okay,

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Speaker 2: here's the bio Tedday Medaling Camp is what happens when

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Speaker 2: a fitbit gains sentience and signs with CIA. She joined

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Speaker 2: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to bring honesty and accountability,

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Speaker 2: but ended up offering all the charisma of a protein shake.

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Speaker 1: Those are so charismatic, I know.

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Speaker 2: Daughter of rock legend John Mellencamps, Teddy somehow turned her

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Speaker 2: VIP lineage into a business model that's fifty percent toxic

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Speaker 2: positivity and fifty percent toxic productivity and zero percent fun.

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Speaker 2: Her personality is calendar app. She made accountability a brand,

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Speaker 2: then forgot to include flavor of flexibility or an actual personality.

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Speaker 2: And when she's not harassing you via text message, she's

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Speaker 2: co hosting two teensnapab with Tamra Judge. Together, they break

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Speaker 2: down Bravo drama with the energy of two PTA moms

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Speaker 2: who've had just enough wine to start gossiping about your husband.

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Speaker 2: Her stint on Celebrity Big Brother was short lived, being

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Speaker 2: the first to be evicted, but hey, at least she's

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Speaker 2: consistent in being consistently underwhelming. Oh my god, Teddy's Teddy's

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Speaker 2: idea fun a forty five minute walk followed by forty

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Speaker 2: five minutes of judging you for not doing a forty

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Speaker 2: five minute walk. That is kind of right.

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Speaker 1: Exact, well, no, it's a forty five minute walk, and

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Speaker 1: then forty five minutes of judging somebody else on one

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Speaker 1: of our pops.

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Speaker 2: This is true. So I will say I don't really

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Speaker 2: necessarily agree with all of this because you know, okay,

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Speaker 2: it's okay, because it was no no no, it's no

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Speaker 2: no no. But the judging you about the forty five

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Speaker 2: minute walk, yes, I do, okay, taglines, I bring the

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Speaker 2: accountability even if no one asked for it.

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Speaker 1: I'm so disappointed in myself for using the word accountability.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really even know what that word was.

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Speaker 2: But I just wait, you didn't know what it meant? No,

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Speaker 2: ted you like burned it into our brains.

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Speaker 1: Because I was saying health and fitness coach at the

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Speaker 1: beginning of filming and yeah, like, no, you need to

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Speaker 1: say something else, so they told you so. Then No,

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Speaker 1: I did what Matt told me. Matt told me.

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Speaker 2: To say accountability is your fault?

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Speaker 1: Yes, you think I would come up with a big

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Speaker 1: word like accountability for fuck's sake?

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Speaker 2: All in by Teddy?

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Speaker 1: That was by Matt.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: All In by Matt has got me in a lot

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Speaker 1: of trouble.

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Speaker 2: Wow. So you didn't know what that?

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Speaker 1: No, we were in the limo.

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Speaker 2: Do you know that every time they say accountability on

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Speaker 2: that show, all I can think about is you me too?

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Speaker 2: You need to be accountable. I'm like, no, no, no, we

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Speaker 2: already did that, like a few years ago. I'm doing

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Speaker 2: that anymore.

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Speaker 1: No. I remember exactly what happened. I was in like

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Speaker 1: one of the cars and I'm like, shit, we're going

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Speaker 1: to I think Camille's when she still lived at the beach.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Camille's house outside.

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Speaker 1: Wherever it was. I mean, this is first season and

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Speaker 1: you guys were grilling me about what I did for

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Speaker 1: a living, and I'd already done kind of like one

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Speaker 1: of those awkward Beverly Hills photo shoots outside on like

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Speaker 1: Beverly Boulevard, like pretending it.

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Speaker 2: But I'm in the car, I asked.

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Speaker 1: I asked, Matt, I'm like, hey, they keep wanting me

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Speaker 1: to change health and Fitness coach. What did I say?

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Speaker 1: But that's what you were, I know, and he said, say,

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Speaker 1: he goes, well, you could say accountable. I mean, he

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Speaker 1: gave me like twenty options and.

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Speaker 2: You chose accountability.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, accountability makes sense.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, do you hate it now?

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Speaker 1: Now I hate it? But I loved it then. It

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Speaker 1: was brilliant. Until I was the least accountable.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, yeah, then it kind of it

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Speaker 2: kind of you went down the tubes on that one day.

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Speaker 1: Then everybody thought that I was accountable to everything. And

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Speaker 1: that's why, See, this is why when you.

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Speaker 2: Make a statement like that on one of these shows,

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Speaker 2: that it becomes like like the roast last week, me

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Speaker 2: being cold, like I'm never you know, like that's forever

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Speaker 2: or contempt or whatever, like it's one of those things

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Speaker 2: you'll never get away from that.

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Speaker 1: I'll never get away from it. And the fact that

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Speaker 1: people think I want to get away from being daughter

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Speaker 1: of rock legend John Mellencamp. No, wouldn't you wish well?

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Speaker 2: I was going to say, that sounds pretty fabulous to me,

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Speaker 2: considering I didn't even have a dad, So like, it's

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Speaker 2: pretty pretty fucking great.

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Speaker 1: I have a funny story about the Koogs. So last

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Speaker 1: week I go and do that that event with Kyle right,

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Speaker 1: and this band comes up to me and they're like

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Speaker 1: Teddy Joe and it's a little big town. Uh huh wow, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I thought see.

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Speaker 2: And the cool thing is people don't know this, like

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Speaker 2: Teddy knows everybody.

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Speaker 1: And they remember me from I was a little kid,

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Speaker 1: and like it's not like I got anything out of it.

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Speaker 1: I don't even ask them for a photo.

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Speaker 2: But they know from the time you were a child.

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Speaker 1: Like I don't want to take back those memories and

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be that person that has to

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Speaker 1: run up and be like, hey, excuse me, excuse me,

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Speaker 1: sue me like I do for Cruise as friends begging

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Speaker 1: for autographs. Oh like if cruse Is gets excited about

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Speaker 1: a celebrity. Clearly they have they don't know who John

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Speaker 1: Mellencamp or me, are you or anybody they as demographic is.

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Speaker 1: But I will run up to like like a YouTuber,

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Speaker 1: a YouTube, like a fifteen year old YouTuber. I will

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Speaker 1: stand there on the side and act like it's Justin

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Speaker 1: Bieber and I'll be.

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Speaker 2: Like, excuse me, I'm sorry, my son is a picture.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, little big towns like Teddy Joe.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's cool, that's cool. I didn't know YouTubers.

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Speaker 1: That's what kids like these.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know, born into fame, but I'm still

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Speaker 2: trying to find my spotlight.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, I'm fine with that.

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Speaker 2: I keep people accountable because being fun was never an option. Still. Wait, oh,

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Speaker 2: fitness guru by day, Reality TV filler by night.

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Speaker 1: You know what a filler is? Like a fluffer. It's

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Speaker 1: a job that's necessary.

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Speaker 2: You mean, like a porn fluffer. Yeah, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: somebody's got to do it, okay. Instagram Feed her Feet

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Speaker 2: is a dizzy mix of workout videos, wellness infographics, and

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Speaker 2: forced force relatability captions like just a reminder you're doing great,

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Speaker 2: said while flexing on a beach at five am. It's

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Speaker 2: giving gym teacher energy, but make it influencer. Every post

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Speaker 2: is either a sponsored Jim selfie or a motivational quote

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Speaker 2: that could double as a threat. Oh my, it's the

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Speaker 2: Instagram equivalent of your high school friend who sells essential

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Speaker 2: oils and then follows you for eating bread.

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Speaker 1: I unfollow my friends that do essential oils.

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Speaker 2: Actually, you have friends that do essential oils that sell.

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Speaker 1: Them and then you one time buy them and then

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Speaker 1: you can never get out.

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Speaker 2: Yes, like a pyramid oil ski.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I'm done with it. Wow to unfollow some people.

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Speaker 2: And let's not forget the infamous photo with her dad,

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Speaker 2: John Mellencamp that had fans cringing at the thirst level.

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Speaker 1: Know what I did? I put my leg up. I

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Speaker 1: know what photo it is?

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Speaker 2: Was your dad mad?

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Speaker 1: No, my dad wasn't mad, but everybody else I was.

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Speaker 1: You know how I do my leg like?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you always got your knee popped.

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Speaker 1: I popped my knee next to my dad, But it

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Speaker 1: looked super high because my dad maybe isn't the tallest,

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Speaker 1: he's notive.

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Speaker 2: He's not a and you're little Johnson. Maybe John's a

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Speaker 2: little smaller. Okay, you ready for your five year plan

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Speaker 2: no liter one live, right, we got that. We check

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Speaker 2: that off. Five year one live.

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Speaker 1: You're laughing a little too hard for the people that

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Speaker 1: work with me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you're one. You know what? I Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: ah life, Jesus fucking Christ, you're one. Uh And by

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Speaker 2: the way, because you said that, like last week when

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Speaker 2: I saw this five year planets, the first thing I know, well,

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Speaker 2: because it's the first thing I thought, I was like,

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Speaker 2: launch all four dogs? What launch all in dogs? A

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Speaker 2: pet accountability program? Every doodle in LA is now on

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Speaker 2: a green free diet and doing burpies at the dog

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Speaker 2: park fountains.

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Speaker 1: Kind they missed a joke here, that's actually can Lucy

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Speaker 1: Juicy Apple Goosey could have been a part of the program.

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Speaker 2: Lucy Juicy Apple Juicy, not Lucy Goosey. I tried to

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Speaker 2: block it out.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I you have.

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Speaker 2: Much more important things to me. I blocked it out myself.

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Speaker 1: And I would never want to run dogs accountability dogs.

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Speaker 2: Right, But the doodles need it, their duals need to

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Speaker 2: accountability because there are owners.

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Speaker 1: Would you want me to be your dog's accountability?

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Speaker 2: Actually, my dogs, my all of my dogs are well.

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Speaker 2: Then of Thiago are fucking flawless. My dogs are because

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Speaker 2: they just they're not allowed. Year three joins another reality

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Speaker 2: TV show gets voted off first again.

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Speaker 1: Why for winning?

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Speaker 2: By the way, I saw Cynthia Bailey we were in

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Speaker 2: Portaveyarta last week. Yeah, she said that you were you

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Speaker 2: want a big brother with her?

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Speaker 1: I was on Big Brother Wall.

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Speaker 2: You know. She had the nicest things to say about you.

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Speaker 2: Also too, She said they blew you out first because

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Speaker 2: they knew you were good, well, because they.

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Speaker 1: Told me and I even had asked. They said, don't

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Speaker 1: do well in the first competition, but you know my ass.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you're so competitive, But she said no, they they

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Speaker 2: shipped you out right away because you were a threat.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which, you know what, But I still don't mind it. Really.

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Speaker 1: Even my son roasted me, He goes, Mom, you got

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Speaker 1: kicked out again first, and that I got kicked out

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Speaker 1: again first for the that we both went No. Name

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Speaker 1: that tune, Oh.

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Speaker 2: Name that name that tune. I lost one America one.

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Speaker 2: You become a motivator speaker, but audience finds themselves more

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Speaker 2: motivated to leave.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: Year five, Oh God, here we go. Two teas in

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Speaker 2: a pod. Rebrand says two Teas one echo Chamber. Each episode,

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Speaker 2: Tamra and Teddy are agreeing that they're always right, occasionally

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Speaker 2: broken up by two hundred ADS for CBD gummies and

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Speaker 2: vaginal lasers. That that is a good once.

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Speaker 1: This should actually be our new This.

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Speaker 2: Is actually that you should actually we should actually take

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Speaker 2: this because that is kind.

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Speaker 1: Of too tease. Hi, welcome to another episode of two

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Speaker 1: Teas in a Pod where we rebrand as an echo chamber.

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Speaker 1: We're always right, always wrong, and we want to promote

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Speaker 1: your CBD gummies and vaginal lasers.

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Speaker 2: Up to two hundred ADS. We have up to two

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Speaker 2: hundred ADS space. I have up to two hundred adds space. Okay,

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Speaker 2: overall thoughts, Teddy Mellon Camp is like the Parsley Garnish

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Speaker 2: on The Real Housewives plate. I hate present, I hate

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Speaker 2: Parsley nobody e's it present, but not adding much flavor.

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Speaker 2: She's the human equivalent of Jim Waiver of the Gym

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Speaker 2: Waiver form SI maybe, but no one's excited to engage.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. She calls herself real but lests me honest.

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Speaker 2: She's about as compelling as a half used plan.

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Speaker 1: I thought it said boner, and.

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Speaker 2: I don't even have a full use boner on RhB.

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Speaker 2: She was the moral compass. No one asked for agreed

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Speaker 2: bringing that clipboard to a gladiator match. Oh she was,

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Speaker 2: she means. So in other words, it's like bringing a

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Speaker 2: knife to a gunfight.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I wasn't ready.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you were playing nice and we were playing mean.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I wasn't ready. You guys saw me in your.

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Speaker 2: That's not necessarily true. And I went until you've got.

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Speaker 1: Hold it, lady, until I got to teas in a

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Speaker 1: pod with two hundred ads and CBT gummy.

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Speaker 2: She wasn't here to play games. But fun was never

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Speaker 2: on the itinerary.

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Speaker 1: You know what. So pretty much what we've summed up

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Speaker 1: is I'm.

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Speaker 2: Zero fun and you like protein shakes, and you're accountable.

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Speaker 1: I'm accountable zero fun. Lose everything first.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but you lose everything first because you're competitive. Let's

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Speaker 2: be honest. Like, you didn't lose because you were bad.

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Speaker 2: They blew you off because you were in it.

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Speaker 1: Because the only girl that beat me was the MMA fighter.

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Speaker 1: If I would, I asked, I said, if I let go,

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Speaker 1: will you keep me? And then I started to let

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Speaker 1: go and she goes.

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Speaker 2: No, All right, now we're gonna go live and we're

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Speaker 2: gonna ask chat GPT, what is Teddy Mellencamp's best quality?

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Speaker 2: Your best quality is your discipline.

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Speaker 1: This is like when Edwin said my best when they

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Speaker 1: said what do you love most about your wife? And

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Speaker 1: he said that she's organized.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's why you're divorced.

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Speaker 1: What this?

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Speaker 2: So you want GPT to say your best quality is

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Speaker 2: that you're disciplined and you show up and you like

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Speaker 2: fought through cancer and all this kind of stuff. You

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Speaker 2: don't want your husband to say she's organized. You see

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Speaker 2: what I'm saying, Like chat GPT, Like chat GPT can

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Speaker 2: say I'm cold and I'm fine whatever, bring it on.

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Speaker 2: But my I wonder what Tom was.

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Speaker 1: Like. You wouldn't want Tom to say that you were.

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Speaker 2: God only knows what that man I'm would say. I

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Speaker 2: probably know.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna zip on over and interview Tom Erica, who right, whatever?

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Speaker 2: My god, poor thing? Uh? But yeah, for Edwin to

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Speaker 2: say you're organized, but that is that? I feel like

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Speaker 2: that's is that in loyalty, you're loyalty.

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Speaker 1: I'm loyal and disciplined.

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Speaker 2: You are loyal. You are loyal to Kyle Richards and

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Speaker 2: disciplined to yourself.

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Speaker 1: And after this podcast, I am no longer loyal to

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Speaker 1: Erica Jane. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean, listen, I'm gonna tell you something, And I mean,

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Speaker 2: is you better be loyal to Kyle before you're loyal

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Speaker 2: to me, because she's been right there for you.

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Speaker 1: I know she's been awesome for you. If here's the thing,

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Speaker 1: I think friends are loyal. I'm not going to justify

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Speaker 1: the fact that I am very disciplined, and when I

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Speaker 1: can't be disciplined, I come unhinged. You saw me when

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Speaker 1: you arrived.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's different. I think that being as disciplined

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Speaker 2: as you are is why you are where you are,

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Speaker 2: in your cancer, in your cancel.

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Speaker 1: In your cancel culture.

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Speaker 2: It's why you're canceling it. Whatever you're on, we're off

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Speaker 2: on me and I'm picking up these strange vibes. Okay,

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Speaker 2: so let me here's hold on.

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Speaker 1: I need to know what my best features. I need one.

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Speaker 2: Finished singing your praises.

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Speaker 1: Well, I don't listen. It's gonna seem like I was

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Speaker 1: attacking you. Attacking because I know you're you're pretty gpt

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Speaker 1: roasting me.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm yeah, come for me. I'm not pitying you

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Speaker 2: at all. What I was going to say, is your

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Speaker 2: discipline is something that has brought you so far through

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Speaker 2: your cancer journey. It is true because you've been you've

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Speaker 2: been very disciplined about when you found out you have been.

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Speaker 1: I am a disciplined person. You're very What my goal

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Speaker 1: is in asking you as a friend, how do I

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Speaker 1: show more empathy? Don't ask me.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: We've been working on We can't work on that. We're

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Speaker 1: not always right on.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's just yeah, but how do I.

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Speaker 1: Show the side that my true friends get to see?

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Speaker 2: Okay? So, uh huh? Are you comfortable? And this is

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Speaker 2: what I'm just going to ask you right now?

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Speaker 1: No, I'm in a full sweat.

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Speaker 2: No, no, not like that. I know you're sweating. But

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Speaker 2: are you comfortable letting people see who you are with

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Speaker 2: your friends? Because that I think sometimes people don't understand

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Speaker 2: that the show that we're on, that you used to

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Speaker 2: be on with me, doesn't really allow for you to

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Speaker 2: show your one hundred percent most vulnerable soul because of

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Speaker 2: its nature of being you know, conflict and at any

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Speaker 2: moment you know, it's like it says a gladiator match.

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Speaker 2: So were you comfortable? I don't think your own skin like,

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Speaker 2: that's really what it was.

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Speaker 1: I think I wish I would have talked about how

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Speaker 1: comfortable and uncomfortable I can be in my own skin.

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Speaker 1: But I think also I was going through something privately that.

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Speaker 2: Was that was seeping out and we couldn't read.

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Speaker 1: It, and and everybody was reading it as the wrong thing.

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Speaker 2: It's like when I get told I'm cold, No, I'm

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Speaker 2: not called. I was fucking just afraid one.

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Speaker 1: Person would have just nailed it.

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Speaker 2: But also to nobody's a mind reader, and so sometimes

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Speaker 2: you want people to pick up on what's bothering you,

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Speaker 2: but they can't. Yeah, you know, everybody's involved. I thought

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Speaker 2: you would. I have my suspicions, but I didn't know

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Speaker 2: you well enough to be like, hey, is there something

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Speaker 2: wrong over here that I fail. I'm also one of

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Speaker 2: these people that like, if I don't know you that well,

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Speaker 2: you're not going to push No, I'm not someone that's

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Speaker 2: going to be like, why are you withhold? I don't

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Speaker 2: know you well enough to add to hold you to

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Speaker 2: get in there and ask uncomfortable questions. And I think we.

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Speaker 1: Also, you know, and this isn't to justify my behavior,

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Speaker 1: but I went in knowing I can't disappoint my family.

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Speaker 1: By family, I mean, my dad was like, you're gonna do.

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Speaker 2: A reality talent. I'm sure that.

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Speaker 1: That was just And I'm like, your talent is being

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Speaker 1: a rock star and mine is.

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Speaker 2: To be reality TV luster reality. Well, reality TV does

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Speaker 2: not have the best reputation. It has the best characters,

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Speaker 2: it has an unbelievable draw, unbelievable pop culture draw, but

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Speaker 2: it comes with some real you know cons and it's

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Speaker 2: just you know, horrible things.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well let's get let's move on to my best quality.

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Speaker 2: Let's ask Chatt, what are your best your best features,

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Speaker 2: best features, your best features? Teddy Mellencamp's best feature is

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Speaker 2: her athletic build organized an athletic build, athletic. I think

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Speaker 2: it's wonderful.

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Speaker 1: What are the other things?

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Speaker 2: All? Honorable? Mention? Your smile, which is so important to you.

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Speaker 1: Remember smile is important. But honestly, can't just somebody call

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Speaker 1: me hot ever.

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Speaker 2: But you are hot? Yeah? Okay, So what do you think?

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Speaker 2: What do you think of your chat cheepyte roast.

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Speaker 1: I think it's exactly what I thought it was gonna be.

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Speaker 2: Me too, That's what I know. It's what I say.

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Speaker 1: I know what people come for me, me too, and

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Speaker 1: it's it's kind of gives me a little bit of

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Speaker 1: peace knowing it's always going to be the same.

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Speaker 2: Thing it is. And it's also something that's like, it's obvious,

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Speaker 2: we've heard it, and you can go, I see a

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Speaker 2: little bit of that. I don't see. I can see

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Speaker 2: why someone would say that, but I guess it's.

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Speaker 1: I can see, I can see that they're right and

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Speaker 1: some ask.

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Speaker 2: Of course I could see why they would say it,

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Speaker 2: but you're missing some other information because it's not whole.

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Speaker 2: I can say, yes, have I been called sure? Have

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Speaker 2: I been removed?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Have I been like irritated all the time? But was

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Speaker 2: that the entire picture? No?

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Speaker 1: No, But also I wish and this isn't you know.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, chat cheepy tea, but I wish they were

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Speaker 1: a little bit funnier.

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Speaker 2: It was, Well, it's a robot. It's a it's a

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Speaker 2: chat bot. It's not like listen chat chat bots be

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Speaker 2: far creative if you can hear us.

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Speaker 1: Be more creative, be more creative.

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Speaker 2: And do we need to talk to we need to

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Speaker 2: talk to open AI or whatever whatever sources like, which

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Speaker 2: one of y'all is funny.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, who's the funny one, because that's what we need

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Speaker 1: for our.

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Speaker 2: Next roast our. Next, you know what we should do

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Speaker 2: is roast Kyle.

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Speaker 1: Oh, we should start roasting our friends and then and

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Speaker 1: then they'll pick up the clips. That's act like we

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Speaker 1: said it. That's right, and then we'll have to explain

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Speaker 1: to them later we didn't do it. Let's just do

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Speaker 1: little tiny clips for each one and so then it

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Speaker 1: looks like all we did was just each other.

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Speaker 2: Yell, we talked about everybody. Actually, that's the way we

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Speaker 2: should open this.

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Speaker 1: That's that's actually next episode will be roasting every single

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Speaker 1: one of our friends and everybody relationships from Clickbait.

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Speaker 2: Yes, thanks guys, thank you for joining us on Teddy's Roast.

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Speaker 2: By a I