Speaker 1: Start Up, dot Up, start Up, Brooklyn Boy, start Up,
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys, start up, dot Dota they Magan Noise, dotap,
Speaker 1: start Up.
Speaker 2: Doda, dot Up. Episode to eighty nine The Brooklyn Boys Podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah it's getting a little getting hot in her getting
Speaker 2: closer to three hundred. Yeah, I was gonna say twenty
Speaker 2: nine is a good number. But you know, not that
Speaker 2: I believe in that shit. You know, I did not
Speaker 2: win the lottery this week. I did not win Mega millions.
Speaker 2: But but the Mega millions was it? Or the powerbu
Speaker 2: Mega millions was the one winner? Was in neptwoh, New Jersey, Yeah,
Speaker 2: South Jersey in uh a shop right ticket was like
Speaker 2: a little shop pot. I bought twenty tickets. I thought
Speaker 2: I thought I had a really good shot. You know,
Speaker 2: that's in our listening. You thought you did. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I got twenty ps. I gotta win. I will say
Speaker 2: that I'm thinking we if we don't know someone, the
Speaker 2: person that won the slices of all of our listening
Speaker 2: audience definitely knows the person who won. That's if the
Speaker 2: person has the person even come forward yet and been
Speaker 2: public about it. I don't think. I don't think they
Speaker 2: can have. But Root sixty six. There's a shop right
Speaker 2: right there, get your kicks there and nip to New Jersey.
Speaker 2: That's where it was sold, the winning ticket. What do
Speaker 2: you mean by right there, right there on Root sixty six. Oh,
Speaker 2: the shop right, Oh, the shop right, shop right sold
Speaker 2: the ticket. Yeah, I go to shop right. I live
Speaker 2: in New Jersey. I didn't win, No, but it's okay.
Speaker 2: You know there's always there's always mega a power ball
Speaker 2: which is coming up right. I got that going for me. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I texted my wife at like, uh, three o'clock, four
Speaker 2: o'clock in an afternoon whatever it was, and I said, hey,
Speaker 2: we're six hours away from being multimillionaires or whatever the
Speaker 2: time was. She's like, oh, yeah, I'm preparing. I read
Speaker 2: stats on this. There's just six nine trillion to one.
Speaker 2: Oh it's awful. It's the worst odds ever. But we
Speaker 2: still spend their money.
Speaker 3: I know that.
Speaker 2: You know what they say, the lottery is uh gambling
Speaker 2: for people who are bad at math. Exactly. It's a
Speaker 2: tax on people who are bad at math. Yeah, well
Speaker 2: either one. Hey, So all right, so we have an
Speaker 2: office pool, and we are the usual suspects we always
Speaker 2: kick in. Now scenario it's just a scenario, hypothetical. I
Speaker 2: forget one day. Ooops, I forgot to put in tonight.
Speaker 2: We've had this comment you're out, you're out. That happened
Speaker 2: to someone and she was an office worker. She always
Speaker 2: chipped in, always three time, and either she was out
Speaker 2: sick or whatever, or she came in late and they
Speaker 2: didn't get her money and she was out and they're like,
Speaker 2: but I'm always in. See you weren't work that day,
Speaker 2: No bullshit. See. I think that if if you're always in,
Speaker 2: then you're part of the crew. And if you forget
Speaker 2: to put your money in this one time and that's
Speaker 2: the time, you win. Personally, I think they should they
Speaker 2: should split in Italy, yeah, because they're always in. Usually
Speaker 2: you can't say always in. Usually they're always in. They're
Speaker 2: always in. But in this one time, this one instance,
Speaker 2: they filled fault was that they were out. They forgot. Well,
Speaker 2: then you know they forgot. Maybe they were like, I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna win. I'm saving my five bucks today or
Speaker 2: twenty whatever the chip in was. I don't think deliberately.
Speaker 2: What if they deliberately were like, nah, I'm gonna take
Speaker 2: a week off. Then when they won, they were like,
Speaker 2: oh I forgot. I think they're deserving of the ticket.
Speaker 2: You throw them a million for for no, for being
Speaker 2: a good support. Now I'm not giving up eighteen million
Speaker 2: or whatever it is. Come on, man, you don't think so,
Speaker 2: you don't think this is a good it's a good play,
Speaker 2: like that's a person karma. It's good, it's good luck,
Speaker 2: it's good. Just what karma for? You just won the lottery?
Speaker 2: So you know a piano doesn't fall on your head
Speaker 2: when you will leave your building. I don't know sitting
Speaker 2: run over by a car. I'm just saying. You know,
Speaker 2: you treat people like shit. It comes around, you go
Speaker 2: around shit. How do you know they honestly forgot? And
Speaker 2: more importantly, it doesn't work that way. Can imagine going
Speaker 2: to Atlantic City and you're playing blackjack and you have
Speaker 2: a seventeen and a dealer show in a twenty and
Speaker 2: you wanted a hit but you didn't, And then the
Speaker 2: next guy gets a four and you're like, oh, I
Speaker 2: meant to hit no really they did? They go, okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: you seem like a good guy. You meant to hit.
Speaker 2: No problem. Well, in our office where we work, we
Speaker 2: all agreed. Scotty agreed. Yeah, we all agreed. Yeah, I believe.
Speaker 3: So.
Speaker 2: Now does that count for people who don't work there
Speaker 2: anymore because I always chipped in? Yeah, but yeah, but
Speaker 2: that's now a year and a half removed from the
Speaker 2: last time you participated. It was a timeframe ongoing. We
Speaker 2: are on ongoing. We were like this last three weeks.
Speaker 2: We've been on this run where we've been getting tickets
Speaker 2: every night. In fact, I don't think I paid now
Speaker 2: that now that you mention it, oh, now that I well,
Speaker 2: if you didn't pay, you have to chip, you can no, Actually,
Speaker 2: now did you say, I'm sure Brody would like to
Speaker 2: chip part of the Brooklyn Boys podcast. We can call
Speaker 2: him Scotty. Scotty is the king of the latter the
Speaker 2: ticket hold on. Say, I just a quick question for him,
Speaker 2: because I want to let him know I'm in. I
Speaker 2: really hope he answers. We call people blindly on this podcast.
Speaker 2: We don't warn them. Hey, by the way, we're gonna
Speaker 2: be giving you a call, and as we wait, this
Speaker 2: shows you what he thinks of you. He is not
Speaker 2: answering his phone. Yeah right, he's gonna hit the fuck
Speaker 2: your button on me. No, he's letting a ring. No,
Speaker 2: he's just gonna do it, all right, Well it's Scott.
Speaker 4: You've reached my cell phone.
Speaker 2: You can well, hopefully I can get in on this.
Speaker 2: But I'm telling you, if it was me and everybody
Speaker 2: and everybody put in and then one person didn't, and
Speaker 2: we do this on a weekly basis, you would want
Speaker 2: them to give you the money I get. I would
Speaker 2: know I would want no. I would give that person
Speaker 2: the money, the person that one. Oh, if it was me,
Speaker 2: because because I'm a share I'm a person who likes
Speaker 2: to share. I'm not like you know, and what's fair
Speaker 2: is fair. I'm just saying, all right, we'll get back
Speaker 2: to Scotty. You're out and you forgot, I give you.
Speaker 2: I'll give you something I'm not giving you. If I
Speaker 2: we all win eighteen million, I'll give you one. See
Speaker 2: that's shit. But shit is seventeen million after I've been
Speaker 2: a part of this pool every fucking week, and the
Speaker 2: one week that I forgot to contribute, you're not gonna
Speaker 2: give me. It depends on what you mean by forgot.
Speaker 2: Were you in the office sitting next to everybody, or
Speaker 2: you downstairs in the mail room when the money was
Speaker 2: going I think Scotty sent out the group text this morning,
Speaker 2: tomorrow's powerball. Oh yeah, see nine o'clock this morning. Now,
Speaker 2: I was on the air right and I didn't see
Speaker 2: this text. Tomorrow's power ball is nine hundred and thirty
Speaker 2: five million. If you want to give me ten dollars, somehow,
Speaker 2: get it to me somehow, and then you have a shot. Now,
Speaker 2: if I would have forgotten, because I'm gonna s I'm
Speaker 2: gonna vemo him now, so I don't forget. If you
Speaker 2: already bought the tickets, you're your sol. Well that's why
Speaker 2: I'm calling him to make sure that I'm in on
Speaker 2: this dead Text him and he'll floor, he'll flow, he'll
Speaker 2: flow up this bullshit. Front you the money. Now, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna get text it that you're in, and he'll if
Speaker 2: he buys the tickets, he'll pay pay the tickets for
Speaker 2: you money. Powerball. Good done, Scotty B finished over done,
Speaker 2: then mode all right, great, Now I'm in. Is Elvis playing? Yes,
Speaker 2: Alvis always plays all the time. But my point, my
Speaker 2: point was, if I would have forgotten, you're not going
Speaker 2: to catch I'm not going to catch a break. We
Speaker 2: were the group where there's ten people who always put
Speaker 2: in if Scotty went around to everybody and then one
Speaker 2: person was like in the bathroom and he forgot to
Speaker 2: ask them, and it's not their fault. Absolutely cut them in, Okay,
Speaker 2: I would need to know the circumstances. It was the
Speaker 2: person standing there and they just were like, I'll give
Speaker 2: you the money later and then forgot. Then that's fine.
Speaker 2: They agreed to it. But if the person works in
Speaker 2: the other radio station and they were supposed to come
Speaker 2: down the hall and give you the money like clockwork
Speaker 2: every Tuesday and they forgot, I think it's a larger conversation.
Speaker 2: And I do think that, all right, I'll speak largely. No,
Speaker 2: it's a larger conversation, and it's more of about a
Speaker 2: pattern of behavior. If your pattern is that you've always participated.
Speaker 2: Have you participated like every week for seventeen years? Yeah,
Speaker 2: all right, all right, so then you're agreeing with me.
Speaker 2: But if you only chip in like once every five
Speaker 2: months when the when the jackpot is high. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: by the way, why do you guys al why do
Speaker 2: it's human? People have asked this question before. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: why does everybody chip in when it's one point one billion,
Speaker 2: but when it's six hundred million. No one's like, no,
Speaker 2: one needs to be bothered. It's the same odds. Never
Speaker 2: mind the odds. You're like, yeah, I don't need to
Speaker 2: bother for six hundred million. It's not worth my trip
Speaker 2: to to the grocery store. I think it's because of
Speaker 2: the advertising around it. It's the marketing, you know. It's
Speaker 2: more of No's like, oh, it's up mega millions, up
Speaker 2: to nine hundred million. Now, now that's a threshold. I
Speaker 2: want to win four hundred million. It seems yeah, you're right,
Speaker 2: you're right. And more importantly, if less people play, you
Speaker 2: got a shot and not having to split the prize
Speaker 2: there is lightly met although although they go weeks without winners,
Speaker 2: if in these contents, I know, I know that's how
Speaker 2: that's how it extraordinary it is. And if you're a
Speaker 2: type of person that looks and goes, hey, number fourteen
Speaker 2: hasn't come up in eight weeks, I'm gonna bet fourteen.
Speaker 2: The machine doesn't know it hasn't come up in breaks.
Speaker 2: It's still the same odds, same ods, or like, I
Speaker 2: don't I don't want to pick three numbers in a row.
Speaker 2: The machine doesn't know what balls are coming out. There's
Speaker 2: no heightened odds of sixty seven, sixty eight, and sixty
Speaker 2: nine coming out versus one, three and seven or whatever
Speaker 2: the numbers are. I'll space the numbers out. It's nothing
Speaker 2: to the machine doing. He's texting me. I'm in the
Speaker 2: car with Cooper and I'm not really sure what you
Speaker 2: want to talk about. Just tell him you're in. He's driving. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I hope, he writes back, Fuck you you're out? Oh no,
Speaker 2: oh no, I don't want to. I don't want to
Speaker 2: be the other guy I was calling you. Yeah, So then
Speaker 2: let him get on.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 2: He's not gonna answer. He called you. Yeah, he's probably
Speaker 2: leaving a voicemail for you.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: Hello, Yeah, you're on the Brooklyn Boys podcast with Brody
Speaker 2: and Scary Gary and Brody. Hey, nice, really quick now listen.
Speaker 2: I have hypothetical about the lottery, all right, about the
Speaker 2: powerball tomorrow? Hi, Scott?
Speaker 3: Okay, all right? Hey, what's up?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 2: You know you know I'm always in I'm always in
Speaker 2: on it. Now today I forgot. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you bought the tickets yet I did not, Thank god? Okay, good,
Speaker 2: I just I've you ten dollars. But my question was
Speaker 2: had I forgotten, and you bought the tickets and we won.
Speaker 2: They won? Yeah, and they won?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: We won? Am I am I entitled to my share
Speaker 2: because I'm usually in but I might have forgotten to
Speaker 2: give you money this time.
Speaker 3: I love you, dude, but not my share.
Speaker 2: Thank you. Wow, Scotty. The first thing I said, first
Speaker 2: thing I said to him was Scotty said, yes, he goes.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Scotty totally would share. I said, no, he wouldn't.
Speaker 3: So look, I don't, Scott. I don't want to be
Speaker 3: a dick. But I mean, like six or seven people
Speaker 3: maybe for got this week, so we share with everybody.
Speaker 2: But how does Scott, Scott, how are you supposed to
Speaker 2: know who forgot? Who decided? Like, eh, I'm gonna take
Speaker 2: a week go off. I lose every week.
Speaker 3: Exactly, so you know, I look, I totally get the argument.
Speaker 3: I know that it's happened before in offices and stuff
Speaker 3: like that, where one person forgot and they usually always
Speaker 3: do it. But I mean, at what point here is
Speaker 3: it enough?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 3: I mean, I I love everybody that I work with,
Speaker 3: but I mean I don't think that I would share
Speaker 3: the winning.
Speaker 2: You know, that would cause a serious problem. Amongst us.
Speaker 2: You know that would be he wouldn't be there anymore,
Speaker 2: he'd have a billion dollars. You can go fuck yourself,
Speaker 2: am I right, Scott?
Speaker 3: Look, I mean it wouldn't be the kind of thing
Speaker 3: where I don't know who you guys are anymore. But
Speaker 3: I probably would quit my job and I'll probably never
Speaker 3: see you anymore.
Speaker 2: But right, exactly, Look, look, I.
Speaker 3: Look, I totally get Look, I get both sides of
Speaker 3: the argument. I totally do. But I just don't think
Speaker 3: that I wouldn't start like giving up to people that
Speaker 3: normally put in but forgot. I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 2: But I never forget. I'm there every time. This is
Speaker 2: the one time time. Well I didn't because you didn't
Speaker 2: buy the tickets yet, so I I just venmoed you.
Speaker 2: What doesn't matter now what we did. But the point
Speaker 2: that the point is if you hadn't given him the money, right,
Speaker 2: I know it was if I hadn't let me.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, well let me ask you this. What if? Okay,
Speaker 3: so what if we all bought the tickets or I
Speaker 3: bought the tickets and we lost, but you usually put
Speaker 3: money in, but you did it. Are you gonna give
Speaker 3: me the money after the fact, even though we lost.
Speaker 2: It's a great question. No, you didn't buy me a ticket. No,
Speaker 2: he's right, though, the mentally right if you're mentally in. Regardless,
Speaker 2: you're mentally in. If they lose, you still all the money.
Speaker 2: That's a horrible way of looking at this. You just
Speaker 2: cost yourself a half a billion dollars out. Well, you're out.
Speaker 2: Scotty's right, And by the way, I knew Scotty would
Speaker 2: be right.
Speaker 3: The good news is I did not buy the tickets yet,
Speaker 3: so you still had time. And if you've been on me,
Speaker 3: then you'll be in. I'm gonna buy them tomorrow afternoon.
Speaker 2: Thank you. All right, let's go more more important. If
Speaker 2: Scotty buys tickets for eight people and you were the
Speaker 2: ninth and they win, then the tickets he would have
Speaker 2: bought with your extra money were losers. Anyway, Ah, come on, man,
Speaker 2: that my right stuff. Yeah, he would have given you
Speaker 2: money for ten more tickets. Those were all losers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why. That's why I have to buy them all.
Speaker 3: At the same time. I don't ever buy any additionals.
Speaker 3: I always buy my personal tickets separately. I don't want
Speaker 3: any controversy. I take a picture of the ones that
Speaker 3: I buy some work and I send them to everybody.
Speaker 3: And that's it, because I don't want anyone accusing me of,
Speaker 3: you know, stealing the winning tickets. That's what you gotta
Speaker 3: be really careful with.
Speaker 2: My wife was at work, She's like, hey, go get tickets.
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, how much I sent? And I
Speaker 2: you know what, while I was there, I was like,
Speaker 2: you know what, I got an extra five in my pocket.
Speaker 2: So I bought a couple extra you know passes on
Speaker 2: the side, and I said, here are the twenty, here're
Speaker 2: the ones we chipped in for. I put some numbers
Speaker 2: that were important to me that weren't important to her.
Speaker 2: I figured, you know what, if I win, I went,
Speaker 2: I'm giving the money anyway. But the point was I
Speaker 2: sent to pictures of the numbers. Yeah, you know what.
Speaker 2: Brodie's a a guy that if his wife didn't chip
Speaker 2: in and he won, she wouldn't get half the half
Speaker 2: the money. That's the kind of guy he is. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, you know, legally i'd have no choice. Scary, right,
Speaker 2: you can't. Well I didn't know that anyway, you know
Speaker 2: the laws.
Speaker 3: Well, but yeah, I mean I already signed I already
Speaker 3: signed the thing. I wouldn't have to give anything, but
Speaker 3: I'm I'm pulling pulling it to adventure Land with.
Speaker 2: Listen while we have you on the phone. Just want
Speaker 2: to say that congratulations are being nominated in the iHeartRadio
Speaker 2: Podcast of the War Awards. You didn't win this year,
Speaker 2: but you know, nominated. Welcome to the losers club that
Speaker 2: we were in for a while. Exactly because he guess
Speaker 2: you know what they say. It's just you know what,
Speaker 2: It's an honor to be nominated, isn't it in the
Speaker 2: best food podcast category?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: We were. We were the first ones on the show
Speaker 2: to lose. We lost in season one, right, first year ever?
Speaker 3: Okay, congratulations, congratulations, Yeah, I mean, you know what, it
Speaker 3: was just super cool. It was super cool to be there.
Speaker 3: I didn't know who any of those fricking people were,
Speaker 3: but somebody. Yeah, it it was fun to be amongst
Speaker 3: the people I didn't know, but it was it was fun.
Speaker 3: We had a good time there, but we were very
Speaker 3: honored to be there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. And Scotty B and Andrew
Speaker 2: on the Serial Killers podcast, make sure you check them out.
Speaker 2: What you done with us podcast? Brothers part of the
Speaker 2: Elvis Duran podcast network. That's correct.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you. You know what now I cannot now,
Speaker 3: I can't wait to listen to this episode. I'm very excited.
Speaker 2: Yea, leave them talkbacks with the All Had radio. I
Speaker 2: hit the microphone, leave Scott Andrew talkbacks.
Speaker 3: Yes, I definitely will. All right, all right, guys, Well
Speaker 3: it was great talking to you. Happy, yes, happy.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: That's all I do is the kiddie rides.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the person.
Speaker 3: Thank you? All right, thanks, I'm hiding. I'm hiding Easter
Speaker 3: eggs in the backyard, all cast all cash this year.
Speaker 2: I'll get out. That's so cool, man, congratulating.
Speaker 3: I went to the I went to the bank and
Speaker 3: I got all the stupid currencies. I got dollar coins
Speaker 3: and half dollars and two dollar bills. And that's what's
Speaker 3: going on in my backyard this year.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're the coolest dad. They love it for that.
Speaker 2: And he's got the Catholic spirit too. I like that. Hey,
Speaker 2: it's good Friday. Enjoy the rid. The money rises and
Speaker 2: increases any value.
Speaker 3: Hi, all right, I'm gonna go. I'm going to get
Speaker 3: my I'm gonna go get my free ham do. Great day, guys,
Speaker 3: yea by take it.
Speaker 2: Love talking to Scottie Bee. You bury your two dollar
Speaker 2: bill on Easter? Does it come back as a ten?
Speaker 2: I would hope. So my podcast, can I tell you
Speaker 2: a little pizza dilemma I had? Yeah? Now you know,
Speaker 2: one of my favorite And this is not a slight
Speaker 2: against this this organization, because I love them, I love
Speaker 2: the owners. I don't know if I even want to
Speaker 2: mention the name of the company. I did tweet about it.
Speaker 2: I had a friend who lives in Manhattan who's like, oh,
Speaker 2: why don't we get together for lunch? I said, I
Speaker 2: don't feel like coming into the city. Is well, I
Speaker 2: don't have a car. I can't come out to Jersey
Speaker 2: by you. How about we meet where the train goes
Speaker 2: to Jersey. What don't we meet Hoboken? How some pizza.
Speaker 2: It's a great place to meet, great place, Hoboken once
Speaker 2: once train stop out of the city. Boom right there
Speaker 2: es centrally located. Well essential, yeah, for where we're located,
Speaker 2: or for where you guys are you live in Long Island?
Speaker 2: It's not so essentially no, Yeah, anyway, So I say,
Speaker 2: you know what, let's go to Autochoke Pizza. You know
Speaker 2: you know how. I love the owners, I love the company,
Speaker 2: I love the vodka Sicilian, I love the regular Sailio pizza.
Speaker 2: As we speak, Yeah, you had it this morning, had
Speaker 2: this morning. So I say, I look up and I
Speaker 2: see that they they open at eleven. I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 2: we're meeting at noon. Let's just meet there. They'll be
Speaker 2: opening at eleven. We'll get there at noon. Perfect. So
Speaker 2: I I drive over to Hoboken. I find a parking space.
Speaker 2: He's waiting outside for me. We go in and the guy,
Speaker 2: there's one guy working there, and he goes, no pizza
Speaker 2: for a half hour. I said, what, no pizza? Well, yeah,
Speaker 2: because they open it eleven, right, and then it takes
Speaker 2: them the the hour and a half. Yeah, because those
Speaker 2: pizzas take a while, you know. They they take twenty
Speaker 2: five minutes to a half hour, or they have to
Speaker 2: they have to heat the ovens up. Sir Bury. The
Speaker 2: guy came in late. The guy overslept. It was obvious
Speaker 2: what had happened. He was still like he wasn't like
Speaker 2: there wasn't pizza in the oven. He was still like
Speaker 2: kneading the dough in his hands. That's why he said
Speaker 2: that no pizza for a half hour. He must have
Speaker 2: gotten there an hour late. Maybe he didn't set his
Speaker 2: maybe he set his clock back too early, like three
Speaker 2: weeks too early. That's pretty shitty. Actually, if you're open
Speaker 2: for business at eleven am, you need to do the
Speaker 2: prep work before you open the doors. You get there
Speaker 2: on time, you get it. You gotta be there like
Speaker 2: nine ten o'clock getting everything ready. That's exactly right. And
Speaker 2: you can't tell me they sold out of every slice
Speaker 2: of pizza. But no, no, no, no, they clearly didn't
Speaker 2: have anything ready, right, So hardly disappointed. So I'm not
Speaker 2: going to tell you where we went, but we started
Speaker 2: walking on Washington Boulevard Street, Washington the Street and Great
Speaker 2: Great Street Restaurants. Was this yesterday? No, No, a couple
Speaker 2: of weeks ago. Call me, you're in my neighborhood. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was out with a friend. You don't know, so
Speaker 2: what you're in my neighborhood. You got to give me
Speaker 2: a call like, yeah, it's scary, I'm close. I didn't
Speaker 2: want to hang out with you. I was hanging out
Speaker 2: with him. Yeah, but I mean, you're in my neighborhood.
Speaker 2: When you drop by, you should actually get the area.
Speaker 2: How many times have you been in my neighborhood and
Speaker 2: you deliberately call me and go, dude, I'm at this
Speaker 2: gray restaurant in your town. Dude, I'm at the catering
Speaker 2: hall around the corner from your house. You've done that
Speaker 2: so many times you never once say like, Hey, afterwards,
Speaker 2: I'm going out to a bar. Why don't you hang out?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: Hey, can I come over? I got a gift, bring
Speaker 2: a little day fair enough. So we walked by one
Speaker 2: pizza place. Looks trash, just trash. I know the one,
Speaker 2: Go ahead, okay. Then we walked to another one. I
Speaker 2: wanted to go to. Is it Tony Pepperoni's ton They're
Speaker 2: well rated, But they were like fifteen blocks away and
Speaker 2: over an avenue, that's correct. So somewhere around the eight
Speaker 2: block mark, we're like, let's just go to the next
Speaker 2: pizza place. How bad could the pizza be? Well, first
Speaker 2: of all, before you stop right there, I already knew
Speaker 2: the answer. We'll stop right. I know pizza can be
Speaker 2: not great. Uh yeah, Well, before you even go any further,
Speaker 2: I just want to say this. You could you could
Speaker 2: have called me at least for some pizza advice, and
Speaker 2: that could I slice apped I checked. I knew you
Speaker 2: should have gone to this one of three places to go.
Speaker 2: Uh but okay, which one did you go to? H
Speaker 2: I don't want to say their name? Why not? No,
Speaker 2: they're known for having a giant slice. Oh I know,
Speaker 2: I know the one you went too. Yeah. And first
Speaker 2: of all you go in, it's dumpy as hell. Well
Speaker 2: that's the charm of the place. It's been sixties, so
Speaker 2: it's it's nineteen seventies dumpy. Second of all, everywhere is
Speaker 2: very nice. But I was like, I say to my friend, hey, listen,
Speaker 2: this place is known for the big slice. I had
Speaker 2: it once like ten years ago. It wasn't bad overrated.
Speaker 2: That was ten years ago. Yeah. Right. So I saw
Speaker 2: there's like a sign up with all the topics you
Speaker 2: can buy. I was like, oh, well, you know what,
Speaker 2: you got a sausage slice ready? No, no sosage slice.
Speaker 2: I put the sausage on for you. So I was like, uh,
Speaker 2: that's when they take the raw sausage and throw it
Speaker 2: on a already cooked, sitting out all day pizza. Ah.
Speaker 2: So I got a giant slice of shit. My friend
Speaker 2: got a giant slight. Put peppers or mushrooms of some
Speaker 2: vegetable on there, and it was like, you know, it
Speaker 2: was like eating when listen, when pizza is good, I
Speaker 2: don't care if it's small, large, medium, I'd rather have
Speaker 2: you know, but what a pizza is not great and
Speaker 2: it's huge, that's twice as bad. Now you've got more
Speaker 2: of not great. So the whole time I'm sitting there
Speaker 2: going you know whose fault this is? Don't you auto
Speaker 2: choke pizza? Oh yeah, because the guy was slept And
Speaker 2: I'm telling you autochoke pizza. I'm not again. It happens
Speaker 2: people oversleep some of the best pizza on the planet.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say this, find a location and go. I'm
Speaker 2: just saying I ended up with bad pizza because my
Speaker 2: intention was to have fantastic pizza. Well you could have
Speaker 2: called me number one. Number two. Google ratings are your
Speaker 2: friend help not so much. Yelp is just a bunch
Speaker 2: of fucking complainers. People just get on there just to
Speaker 2: trash a place. Google reviews they're all complainers now too.
Speaker 2: I will say this. I will say this Google rate
Speaker 2: if it's Google ratings versus Yelp ratings on food places.
Speaker 2: The Yelp people are a bunch of bastards. They're people.
Speaker 2: Nobody's specific. It's just a certain kind of person that
Speaker 2: I don't want to associate myself with. That leaves these
Speaker 2: scathing reviews on Yelp, Yelp, Yelp and slices if you're
Speaker 2: a Yelp reviewer. But I do think that Yelp tends
Speaker 2: to really downgrade and downscore places for petty bullshit, Whereas
Speaker 2: if I'm looking for a good spot with awesome atmosphere
Speaker 2: and amazing food, I think the Google ratings on those
Speaker 2: are a little bit more true to life and what
Speaker 2: makes you what what gives you that impression that anyone
Speaker 2: on Google is because I know it's on atmosphere five
Speaker 2: hundred to one thousand. If I see five hundred ratings
Speaker 2: on a on a restaurant and it's a four point
Speaker 2: four or above, I know I'm in a good spot.
Speaker 2: Four point four to four point five is great, four
Speaker 2: point six and four point seven is rare. And if
Speaker 2: you could find, if you could eat, I don't go
Speaker 2: to four point four's. You should no, because that means
Speaker 2: a huge percentage of people gave it a one or two.
Speaker 2: I'm not going down no, not to no, no, No, did
Speaker 2: would you buy something on eBay from somebody who had
Speaker 2: an eighty nine percent rating? No, My my barometer is
Speaker 2: usually four point fives is where is where it's at
Speaker 2: for me? Okay, a four point four is an eighty
Speaker 2: eight rating out of one hundred. I tell you this
Speaker 2: right now. You're not going to find many places. Most
Speaker 2: places you find are four point zero and above. You
Speaker 2: don't go to four point ohs forget that. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: you don't. And if you see a three, get the
Speaker 2: fuck out of there, run the other way, unless it's
Speaker 2: Chinese takeout, because everybody complains about everything with Chinese takeout.
Speaker 2: But if you if you have, but the place also
Speaker 2: has to have sustain that over several ratings. So if
Speaker 2: you have nine hundred and you've maintained a four point five,
Speaker 2: four point six, even four point seven, you're in a
Speaker 2: very special place. I can tell you this right now.
Speaker 2: But I still go read the negative ones first. Well,
Speaker 2: you don't need the review. You don't get granular and
Speaker 2: read reviews. At that point, you just you can't. You search,
Speaker 2: but you shouldn't. It doesn't to me. It's like that's
Speaker 2: one person through. One person had a shitty experience and
Speaker 2: then you know they put that on the note. You
Speaker 2: know what happens. A lot of times you'll go look
Speaker 2: at the negative ratings and they'll say, I've been coming
Speaker 2: here for twelve years, and since they sold the place
Speaker 2: six months ago, it's been terrible. You got to check
Speaker 2: for that shit. Sometimes you see a great rating and
Speaker 2: then you go to like, oh, it's on the new management.
Speaker 2: You didn't know and now it sucks. That's why it
Speaker 2: went from a four to eight to a four to four.
Speaker 2: And you're thinking, wow, they maintain a four to four.
Speaker 2: And I do the research and I see that they
Speaker 2: had a four to eight they dropped to a four
Speaker 2: to four. There could be that, but I'll say that
Speaker 2: a nah. Listen, I'm a food connoisseur. I'm a bie.
Speaker 2: I'm a bougie bastard. Yes, I get very and I
Speaker 2: eat a lot. Yes, And I will tell you I
Speaker 2: go out to eat a lot, I get a lot.
Speaker 2: I'm very very particular, and I know my ship all
Speaker 2: right when it comes to that. I'm telling you now,
Speaker 2: I'm telling the slices this. You listen, take this advice
Speaker 2: the way you want whatever. You could listen to Brody,
Speaker 2: whatever you want to do Chinese takeout. What I'm saying
Speaker 2: is this if if you go to a restaurant, I'm
Speaker 2: just generalizing for the moment. Okay, you never if you
Speaker 2: look at a restaurant, it doesn't have to be pizza.
Speaker 2: It's a restaurant that you're going out to eat. Don't
Speaker 2: open up YELP. Open up Google Maps, okay, because Google
Speaker 2: Maps has the ratings, has pictures, has the website, has
Speaker 2: everything and has the on it. Okay, So so go
Speaker 2: open Google Maps. People, listen, Google cans know how Google works. Right,
Speaker 2: open Google Maps and type of place, use your finger
Speaker 2: and four points. And then if you see a restaurant
Speaker 2: that can sustain a four point five or above with
Speaker 2: over let's call it four hundred raising ratings and above
Speaker 2: for reviews and above. Honestly, those places right there are
Speaker 2: really special places, and I will go to them sight unseen.
Speaker 2: If I see a four point never had a bad
Speaker 2: ex never zero, never, No. Because if I see a
Speaker 2: four point seven and it has eight hundred reviews and
Speaker 2: it's able to sustain a four point seven over eight
Speaker 2: hundred reviews, I know, for shit, sure it's a great spot.
Speaker 2: I just want to measure they have fire the chef
Speaker 2: for the new owners. I've never gotten stuck, never gotten stuck.
Speaker 2: You know, every time someplace changed his owners, it goes
Speaker 2: right in the toilet, right. But you're not banking on that.
Speaker 2: You're banking on the fact on that. If I'm checking
Speaker 2: one hundred, check on it. But yeah, that's it. But
Speaker 2: all this is minutia. Okay, dude, I'm broadstroking. Man. You
Speaker 2: should have gone. Dude, I don't want to see you
Speaker 2: doing that. We're on a podcast now, You're a dick.
Speaker 2: So what you would do? What I'm telling you right
Speaker 2: now is this, Okay, okay, okay. How many reviews are
Speaker 2: you giving a broken pizza? Okay? Now, this is what
Speaker 2: I would do if I were you, I would have
Speaker 2: been in the Hoboken I would open up Google Maps.
Speaker 2: Here I am Hobogan Beats. I did Google Maps. I
Speaker 2: will short by places. I would filter four point five yeah,
Speaker 2: and above four point five. Okay, mm hm m that okay.
Speaker 2: So the places that are listed were boring the rest
Speaker 2: of the country. I'm just taking me no, but people are.
Speaker 2: What I'm saying is but people can apply this to
Speaker 2: their restaurant and the locals now they totally get it.
Speaker 2: They all got it. Slices. You're with me, you get it.
Speaker 2: Ato strata amazing four point five. I see that place?
Speaker 2: You didn't see it? Did you slice place? I have
Speaker 2: to go buy a pie and sit down. Okay, Basil's
Speaker 2: four point Oh guess what? Okay? I didn't go to
Speaker 2: buses because it's the same. Yeah, and there were no
Speaker 2: chairs and basilies is a rip off of a choke. Pacilis'
Speaker 2: not going there. Okay. The one you ended up at
Speaker 2: is a four point three with two thousand reviews. So
Speaker 2: by your sense, it's close, wouldn't go what you said
Speaker 2: it's close. I would go to I would have go
Speaker 2: to the tenth Street Pizza or Flower that wasn't near
Speaker 2: either of those. Let's move Okay, we move on. Don't oversleep.
Speaker 2: I'm one of my pizza. You could have brought some
Speaker 2: pizza home for me, you know I would have come
Speaker 2: to your house and gotten it. You know what the
Speaker 2: sad part is there was a ballion out a three
Speaker 2: or four whole pies still sitting there on the counter.
Speaker 2: Dur anymore. I would have taken a pie home like
Speaker 2: I always did. You should have done that. A real
Speaker 2: friend would have taken it. But what am I going
Speaker 2: to see you out? Pizza? I would have been there
Speaker 2: in a hot beeat. Oh is that what it's gonna
Speaker 2: take for you to come to my house and autograph
Speaker 2: these t shirts that we owe the slices? Hey, listen,
Speaker 2: they just got to your house yesterday. Yeah, I got time,
Speaker 2: all right? How much time you got? I said, I
Speaker 2: come Monday? All right, Monday, Monday. It is all right,
Speaker 2: scary and Verdie, you got my sound clips by the way,
Speaker 2: so a few. Yeah, by the way, if you did send,
Speaker 2: if you're waiting on your order, I just got the
Speaker 2: shirts yesterday or two days ago, now, yeah, and uh,
Speaker 2: here we are. So I'm gonna sign them. Berdi's gonna
Speaker 2: sign them. We're gonna have a signing party together. Berdie's
Speaker 2: gonna bring pizza for me. We're just gonna bring over
Speaker 2: some lunch. You're gonna bring pizza from one of your
Speaker 2: highly raded pizza places. Well you're gonna no, no, You're coming
Speaker 2: with my house, so you're gonna bring me food. Oh no, no,
Speaker 2: you're gonna have pizza ready for me because I'm making
Speaker 2: the commute. I did the hot pat of a seconds
Speaker 2: and tolls baby, you're gonna come to my house empty handed. No,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have a I'll bring a fork and a
Speaker 2: knife with me, not for the pizza, just whatever else
Speaker 2: you might have. I'll bring my own sodas. I'll have
Speaker 2: to drink your five year old diet coke. It tastes
Speaker 2: like metal. So hopefully by the end of next week,
Speaker 2: you guys will all have your orders fulfilled. We see you,
Speaker 2: We see you. Yeah, so you have my sound clips.
Speaker 2: Do you want to talk about my awful home selling
Speaker 2: experience or the story that's gonna offend people? I think
Speaker 2: we should do a little bit of all right, shout
Speaker 2: out and apologies in advance to anyone listening or anyone
Speaker 2: who's friends with or related to conjoined twins. I can't
Speaker 2: imagine anyone fits that bill on this on slices, But
Speaker 2: we have questions. Not looking to be offensive, we have questions.
Speaker 2: Scary one to tell the story because I've got questions. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I was scrolling through Instagram today and I realized,
Speaker 2: oh my god, remember those conjoined twins that they had
Speaker 2: on Oprah back in the nineties. Their names on Oprah
Speaker 2: they were, of course they're conjoined Abby and Abby and Brittany.
Speaker 2: Abby and Brittany are conjoined twins, all right, and they
Speaker 2: they're famous and then we actually had a reality show
Speaker 2: based on them. Uh, they're popular anyway. The thing is
Speaker 2: they share they share every organ below the waste right
Speaker 2: above the way, two hearts but whatever. They do share
Speaker 2: a bloodstream, they share a blood stream and everything. They
Speaker 2: have one button one hu haa right, I guess they
Speaker 2: have two. They each have a pair of boobs, Yeah,
Speaker 2: they do. They got four, yeah, because we don't know.
Speaker 2: We don't know that they can have three. We don't know.
Speaker 2: They said above above the waist anyway. Yeah, but that's
Speaker 2: not all. So the news has come out and according
Speaker 2: to social media, that conjoined twin, Abby, just one of them,
Speaker 2: is now married to an army veteran. And there's a
Speaker 2: picture of Abby with her arm around her husband. The
Speaker 2: problem is Britney's arm is also around her husband. Well,
Speaker 2: we don't know that. We don't see it. Well, actually
Speaker 2: I have a picture that just has one of the
Speaker 2: pictures I had not from the side, it looked like
Speaker 2: both their arms were both I mean, if you're gonna
Speaker 2: hug them, you gotta hug with both arms, right. The
Speaker 2: problem is well, there's a lot of questions here, and
Speaker 2: again we don't want to offend anybody, but Bertie and
Speaker 2: I started talking about this off the air before we
Speaker 2: got on here, and we're like, well, well, I have
Speaker 2: so many, so many questions, starting with Okay, first of all,
Speaker 2: is it possible for just one to get married? I
Speaker 2: guess so because they consider two different people, they have
Speaker 2: social screty numbers, they're all right, so then yeah, but
Speaker 2: but what if the one on the left wants to
Speaker 2: save herself for marriage and they only have one hu ha,
Speaker 2: then the other ones having sex with.
Speaker 3: Her hu ha.
Speaker 2: Well they're both feeling it because they have just want
Speaker 2: to imagine. So so this guy's got the both of them,
Speaker 2: he's a lot of pressure, right, But what if you're
Speaker 2: kissing one is the other one just there looking just
Speaker 2: to look away and turn her head. Do you put
Speaker 2: a cloth over her head or something or I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's weird because but what and what if what if
Speaker 2: the other one, the unmarried one, falls in love with
Speaker 2: another guy? Now what do you take turns? Like the
Speaker 2: Asian Siamese twins in the seventies, they had two families,
Speaker 2: two houses. They would take turns whose house they lived in?
Speaker 2: But again, like, okay, I don't know any questions. Let's say,
Speaker 2: for instance, the one that got married, yeah, is engaging
Speaker 2: in an oral activity with her husband. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: The other one is right there, it's right there now,
Speaker 2: So does this guy get two from one? Well, that's
Speaker 2: that's the ultimate head, I guess, or but or that
Speaker 2: would that be considered chet him? I don't Is he
Speaker 2: cheating on her with the other one? Look, I don't
Speaker 2: want to get crude, but you know, and and why
Speaker 2: did this guy go down this road? Was it for
Speaker 2: that reason? I don't know what he went down. My
Speaker 2: point is, look, he loves her, I get it. But
Speaker 2: what if the other one hates him? She might He's
Speaker 2: always there, he's right yeah, And I mean, is that
Speaker 2: a threesome? Is the other one involved or she's not right?
Speaker 2: So look, I'm not making fun I God bless them.
Speaker 2: There the inspirational people. So Abby one of them, well,
Speaker 2: Abby controls the right side, Britney controls the left, so
Speaker 2: her right hand so yeah, so so she might put
Speaker 2: her right arm around him to hug her husband, but
Speaker 2: the left left arm doesn't hug him because she's like,
Speaker 2: she's not married to him, or if she does, does
Speaker 2: she does the sister feel get jealous because it's like,
Speaker 2: get your hands off my man? But what if he's
Speaker 2: pleasuring his wife and the other one starts feeling pleasure?
Speaker 2: Does she say to us they share everything below the waist? Right? Well, okay,
Speaker 2: here's another question. We're gonna go there. Oh boy, what
Speaker 2: if the husband wants no boy something special for his birthday? Right,
Speaker 2: and he's like, oh, let's try it over there, and
Speaker 2: the wife is like, yeah, let's do that, and then
Speaker 2: the sister's like, I don't want that. That's an exit,
Speaker 2: Like who gets to you have to like talk it out,
Speaker 2: like I'm not into that. I think I am into it.
Speaker 2: By the way, this is what if? This is? What
Speaker 2: if he's messy and messes on both of them? Like
Speaker 2: is this? Well? I will say I definitely acknowledge that
Speaker 2: the sister gets a free honeymoon for the conjoined twins. Definitely,
Speaker 2: I'm okay with the day them pronouns on that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but it's it's they them, the two of them, it's
Speaker 2: two people. Yeah, yeah, that's actually that's actually works, that
Speaker 2: actually works really well. Well, let me ask you another question.
Speaker 2: What if the sister decides she wants to identify as
Speaker 2: a man, they no longer can join the Oh my god.
Speaker 2: So that's why we have so many questions. There's so
Speaker 2: many questions. But are they addressing this? I mean, they
Speaker 2: had a reality show, but I don't know if I
Speaker 2: don't know if they're gonna go What if one of
Speaker 2: them wants to go to a nude beach other one
Speaker 2: doesn't like? How do you work? I don't want to
Speaker 2: know about the wedding day? Did both of them wear
Speaker 2: the dress they had to? Yes, they both wore the dress.
Speaker 2: I don't need one of them wore a veil. One
Speaker 2: of them wore the veil, the other one. They wore
Speaker 2: a dress. Okay, Now does he carry them both over
Speaker 2: the threshold? I have to you know, Hey, what if
Speaker 2: one of them wants to shave like her legs and
Speaker 2: one doesn't. There's a problem there. How do they think
Speaker 2: about basic things like like clothing? Well, what if they
Speaker 2: don't want to I don't like that. I don't like
Speaker 2: shure they've worked that out? Yeah? Did they compromise? But
Speaker 2: how did they work out the stuff that we're questioning?
Speaker 2: And again, we're just I just feel like, did that
Speaker 2: make it fun? Abby? Just? How did they work that
Speaker 2: out with him? That's a great question. What if she's like,
Speaker 2: I want to go on a date tonight, the other
Speaker 2: one's like, I got a headache. But Abby also sabotaged
Speaker 2: her sister because now she got married. There's no hope
Speaker 2: for her sister to get married to someone else because
Speaker 2: she's there. Well, how is that? How is she gonna
Speaker 2: get married to another guy? You pretty much you fucked me.
Speaker 2: You fucked me because now literally you got married, and
Speaker 2: now I'm not. Well, let's say another way. Your husband
Speaker 2: always here. Let's say let's say let's say another guy
Speaker 2: marries her. Let's just say, okay, all right, he marries
Speaker 2: the second one. I've got crazy visuals. Okay, he's married
Speaker 2: to the second one. If the second one has sex
Speaker 2: with the second husband, that guy is also having sex
Speaker 2: with the first guy, exactly. And does he have a
Speaker 2: right to get jealous? Exactly? I don't think he's got
Speaker 2: any rights in this case. I really marry how you
Speaker 2: just can't marry her? Huha, that's my who ha, that's
Speaker 2: my wife's who a. I think he's just got to
Speaker 2: roll with the punches because he's signed up for this,
Speaker 2: and he's like, you know what if another guy comes
Speaker 2: into the picture, literally for for her sister, I guess
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to deal with it. He has no say,
Speaker 2: he has no say over over their body. What if
Speaker 2: the first of her but they have sex Thursday night
Speaker 2: and the second one is like, it's my birthday, I
Speaker 2: want to have sex tonight. Do they take turns? I
Speaker 2: I had to have worked this out because there are
Speaker 2: separate They are separate people would have that. You know,
Speaker 2: they have two heads, two brains, right, two hearts, so honest.
Speaker 2: One one is in love with the guy. The other
Speaker 2: one has her own set of values and her own thoughts.
Speaker 2: So what if you're watching television and your sister gets
Speaker 2: into a fight with her husband. She wants the storm
Speaker 2: out of the room, but you're watching TV. It's a lot.
Speaker 2: I give the sister all the credit in the world
Speaker 2: for well get along with this. If you want to
Speaker 2: attempt to answer any of these questions, leave us a
Speaker 2: talk back on the iHeart question. I got one more question,
Speaker 2: never mind the husband, serious question. When they go to
Speaker 2: the bathroom, do you think they have to decide whose
Speaker 2: turn it is to wipe. Absolutely, they do because one
Speaker 2: of them, because I did it last time. So your turn, right, fascinating,
Speaker 2: fascinating so but but more importantly the marriage thing. Good
Speaker 2: for them, congrat well, good for her and the guy.
Speaker 2: Congratulations looking forward to this on slice. Okay, I can't
Speaker 2: fathom being the other sister and the guy's there all
Speaker 2: the time. Now this the other sister getting married definitely
Speaker 2: through a wrench. Sleep in the bed with that now, yes,
Speaker 2: she does, whether she likes him or not, with her
Speaker 2: with her brother. What if the guys like, I like
Speaker 2: this on the left side of the bed. No, not
Speaker 2: her brother in law. That's right with you, brother in law.
Speaker 2: It's a brother in law, brother law.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 2: But what if what if he doesn't want to sleep
Speaker 2: on the right side of the bed, he wants top
Speaker 2: on the left side of the bed. He can't now
Speaker 2: because there's a sister in the way. Yeah, this is
Speaker 2: that's right. Yeah, he's got to sleep on the side.
Speaker 2: And then whatever they're doing sexually, if she's like he's like,
Speaker 2: one of them rolls over, I don't want has to
Speaker 2: roll over. There's not that much give. I mean, they're
Speaker 2: they're conjoined. Well, I'm saying, if one of them wants
Speaker 2: to stay on their back and the other one's like
Speaker 2: I'm resting here, I just I can't. If one of
Speaker 2: them is asleep, like, oh my god, don't wake me
Speaker 2: up for this, I can't. I can't wrap my head
Speaker 2: around it. I can't. I can't. I mean, I guess
Speaker 2: you're in an open relationship, but you're not. And again,
Speaker 2: if if if you guys as Siamese twins listening slices,
Speaker 2: I apologize. Siamese conjoined twins, same thing, Siamese and conjoined
Speaker 2: to the same thing. Yes, not but cats, but yes,
Speaker 2: really I didn't know that. Yeah, you will look that up.
Speaker 2: Conjoined twins maybe the new nice way of saying it.
Speaker 2: I don't know, Arah originally was Siamese twins. If that's offensive,
Speaker 2: and I apologize. So now I'm wondering how many other
Speaker 2: couples like this exist in this world, because I've seen
Speaker 2: twins married twins, right, No, Yeah, but what I'm saying
Speaker 2: is no conjoined twins, another set of twins that aren't conjoined. Oh,
Speaker 2: but conjoined twins marrying conjoined twins. That's probably the best
Speaker 2: matchup that you could have. Yeah, but what if you
Speaker 2: were in love diagonally, Like what if you fall in
Speaker 2: love with the one on the left, but you're on
Speaker 2: the you're on the right. No, no, you're on the right.
Speaker 2: There on the right, but when you face each other,
Speaker 2: you're both on the right. That means you got to
Speaker 2: come in from behind to line up. I do you imagine,
Speaker 2: Like if if right guy meets right woman and left
Speaker 2: guy falls in love with left woman, when you face
Speaker 2: each other you're diagonally across, you couldn't possibly make that work.
Speaker 2: You'd have to be behind them. I'm just my mind
Speaker 2: is going so many places right now. And by the way,
Speaker 2: if you look, if you look at a few places, anyone,
Speaker 2: anyone who posted this story on a major publication, just
Speaker 2: go right to the comment section. Don't even because the
Speaker 2: comment section is where the comedy is. Folks. All right,
Speaker 2: if you have questions that we that we haven't thought of,
Speaker 2: it was to talk back. Yeah, if you have answers
Speaker 2: on what you think the question to question, you're a
Speaker 2: conjoined twin and you have an answer, please bring it on.
Speaker 2: Thank you the Glen Boys Podcast. We will be right back.
Speaker 2: I'm still reeling from before. I can't believe we covered that.
Speaker 2: I was half joking when I said we should we
Speaker 2: should talk about it, And now you're like, no, let
Speaker 2: it rip. Well you and I was split on it. Well, Hio, Oh,
Speaker 2: unlike them. You think they do the brody and scary,
Speaker 2: scary and Brodie thing like we do. Oh hey, it's
Speaker 2: Abby Britain and Brittany. Pretty Abby. It's happy and Brittany.
Speaker 2: I'm married one now. Oh god, Oh, we never got
Speaker 2: my dad on the phone. It's Easter Sunday coming up
Speaker 2: in a couple of days. Well, it is who You
Speaker 2: didn't want my sister to wreck her oven. It's the
Speaker 2: dumbest thing, your father's theory. It's like people put plastic
Speaker 2: on the furniture and don't use the furniture. You want
Speaker 2: to get him on the phone, but I want to
Speaker 2: talk about my home selling. I will do that areas okay,
Speaker 2: So let me see if I can catch me forget No,
Speaker 2: we'll do that after we get Tony on the phone
Speaker 2: to what are you calling me for? Anthonay, what do
Speaker 2: you do today? See full answer he usually does. Maybe
Speaker 2: I'm watching reruns along and.
Speaker 4: How you doing? Hey?
Speaker 2: Listen, you're on the Brooklyn Boys podcast with David brody
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, okay, all right.
Speaker 4: I'm on speaker phoneet, I'm in the car. I'm in
Speaker 4: the fort right now, the fort, driving around the right now.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, oh yeah, this is going to be all right.
Speaker 2: Dont worry about it. We'll catch you a little later,
Speaker 2: all right.
Speaker 4: We'll catch you a little later. All right.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, thanks, all right, take care.
Speaker 2: Of a bye bye. Get My father loves to go
Speaker 2: to the fort. You know, guess whose father doesn't have
Speaker 2: a three million dollar sound system. By the way, if
Speaker 2: we would have went down that road, it would have
Speaker 2: been it would have sounded annoying. So why did you
Speaker 2: want to Why don't you want to? Bob pulchops. So, yeah,
Speaker 2: he's gonna ask, he's going to ask later. What was
Speaker 2: that all about? What did you want? Did you call me? Anthony?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 2: What did you want to talk about? And you're gonna
Speaker 2: tell me? I can't tell you that dad had a
Speaker 2: ruined I save it for next week, Yeah, save it
Speaker 2: for next week. I ended up I ended up getting
Speaker 2: some catering from our friends at Brooklyn Roots. Oh, I
Speaker 2: get it. They're on my list thanks to you. I
Speaker 2: gotta get that. You've never been No. One of the
Speaker 2: best restaurants in Brooklyn, Brooklyn Roots if you like. If
Speaker 2: you're looking for Red Sauce Italian, the Son's my thing,
Speaker 2: Red Sauce Italian, you love it. Yeah. I got a
Speaker 2: couple of things I want to get off. The old
Speaker 2: chest here for a second. Number one, the old chest hair. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the old Chest hair. I did a podcast, did a
Speaker 2: Marvel we can check my Twitter. I did a Marvel
Speaker 2: podcast where we reviewed X Men ninety seven.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 2: And I did a podcast talking with a Baseball previews
Speaker 2: for the new season. But in the meantime, one of
Speaker 2: the guys that did the podcast with starts the podcast
Speaker 2: before we Go Before we Go Live, and he says,
Speaker 2: I didn't realize I was in the presence of Royalty.
Speaker 2: So we're all like, what is he talking about? He says,
Speaker 2: David Brodie, I had no idea that you wrote and
Speaker 2: produced the jar Rule Duets. And I said, yeah, like
Speaker 2: twenty years ago. If you don't know what the jar
Speaker 2: Rule Duets are about twenty years ago, Christine Aguilera released
Speaker 2: a song and then it wasn't a hit, so they
Speaker 2: added Ricky Martin to it. Four years ago. So I
Speaker 2: did a bit called something duets, and I had I
Speaker 2: had Ricky Martin being added to like other songs that
Speaker 2: Christina Aguilera sang something like that. And then jar Rul
Speaker 2: was added to an Ashanti song. It came out and
Speaker 2: then it wasn't a hit. They added him. So then
Speaker 2: I did a duet about I did, so I had
Speaker 2: him adding his vocals. The bit was like, if you
Speaker 2: like jar Rule added to Ashanti, then you'll love jar
Speaker 2: Roul duetting with everyone. And I had him like, you know,
Speaker 2: we played clips of real songs and he would be like,
Speaker 2: well would I be without you? And I had him
Speaker 2: like I had a guy who sounds like jar Rule
Speaker 2: yep in our comedy studios come in and do and
Speaker 2: jar Rule up like four or five songs. And that
Speaker 2: was jar Rul Duet's two. But it was like duets too,
Speaker 2: not jar Rul Duet's two. It was the second duets
Speaker 2: bit I had done, and it was so popular. I
Speaker 2: did a duets three of duets, four duets five, and
Speaker 2: you know, Elvis played them all the time and they
Speaker 2: were very popular. And every time, every like couple of weeks,
Speaker 2: I would do another one with new songs, and I
Speaker 2: you know, and he would do holla with songs that
Speaker 2: made no sense to him to be on rock songs,
Speaker 2: slow ballads, Kelly Clarkson songs, whatever. Anyway, unbeknownst to me,
Speaker 2: in two thousand and four, two and whatever it was,
Speaker 2: fifty cent came out fifty cent and G Unit and
Speaker 2: they put up mixed Unit. Mix tapes were these cassettes
Speaker 2: that you'd sell on the street or or CDs, and
Speaker 2: it would be like your work or other people's work,
Speaker 2: and you'd sell it for five bucks to get your
Speaker 2: name out there before record labels, before Spotify and iHeart
Speaker 2: and everything. And somebody gave him all of my jar
Speaker 2: Rule duets, so he found them online and he put
Speaker 2: them on there because he was feuding with jar Rule,
Speaker 2: so it became like jar Rule disstracks. I didn't know
Speaker 2: this until years later. They blew up on YouTube and
Speaker 2: everyone's like, where's jar Rule Duets one? And they all
Speaker 2: think fifty and his people created these. Oh no, the
Speaker 2: white Jewish kid from Brooklyn created them. So oh Adam
Speaker 2: Marvinz from the Beastie Boys. Yeah, exactly. So if you've
Speaker 2: you've loved them and grown up on them. I wrote
Speaker 2: and produced them, or I helped produce them. I didn't
Speaker 2: actually work on pro tools, but I worked with the
Speaker 2: singer and I was mine. Okay, all right, So I
Speaker 2: would like to clear the air if you grew up
Speaker 2: listening to them and jar Roll, if you're mad, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I happened to like jar Roll very much. There's no
Speaker 2: offense meant, but they were meant. They were put on
Speaker 2: the mixtapes as offensive and everyone gave Fifty credit like
Speaker 2: he's a comedic genius and he is a musical genius,
Speaker 2: but he had nothing to do with creating those. And
Speaker 2: I played them for him and he's like, oh man,
Speaker 2: I didn't know that was you. So Fifty and I
Speaker 2: are cool, but I'm just letting you know that that
Speaker 2: was me. Next, I need to be able to go
Speaker 2: live on the Brooklyn Boys TikTok account and David Brody
Speaker 2: TikTok account. Yeah. Why, I would like slices we have.
Speaker 2: We have a lot of slices. We give a lot
Speaker 2: of slices. I would like you to follow the Brooklyn
Speaker 2: Boys TikTok account, which is at the Brooklyn Boys. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I would very much, even if you don't you
Speaker 2: know on TikTok that often. I would like you to
Speaker 2: follow David Brody twelve on TikTok, and while you're at it,
Speaker 2: follow at Skier Jones on TikTok because I am I
Speaker 2: am like bringing up the rear. I was late to
Speaker 2: the party on TikTok. I got like no followers on there. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you can't go live unless you have a thousand followers,
Speaker 2: so we need to up up the Oh shit, I
Speaker 2: got more than that. Yeah, I have a few hundred,
Speaker 2: but I had accidentally I had left it on I'd
Speaker 2: have to approve friends, not like anyone could be a friend,
Speaker 2: so I'd lost a couple of years of that. Anyway,
Speaker 2: speaking of social media scaring, and I have an idea.
Speaker 2: We haven't finalized it yet. We haven't worked out there.
Speaker 2: We're fleshing it out, fleshing it out, and it involves
Speaker 2: a little bit of money. Uh yeah, but we want
Speaker 2: to see if you guys are interested in it. What
Speaker 2: we thought we might do because a lot a lot
Speaker 2: of people what they do is they'll do like a
Speaker 2: bonus episode and it's only available on Patreon and got
Speaker 2: a pay for it if you want a bonus episode.
Speaker 2: Scary and I are too lazy to do a bonus episode.
Speaker 2: Lazy Little are too busy. But too busy is what
Speaker 2: I meant. We also don't really at this point, you know,
Speaker 2: want to charge you for an episode, because if you
Speaker 2: don't buy the episode, you're like missing part of the story.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, However, we thought it might be fun. Let's
Speaker 2: say we record the podcast on a Wednesday at the
Speaker 2: seven o'clock by nine o'clock, which we never do, right,
Speaker 2: it goes live by ten o'clock, Maybe goes live Thursday night.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe we announce hey Thursday at nine o'clock on
Speaker 2: Patreon or Twitch or somewhere. We're gonna put the episode
Speaker 2: up at exactly eight o'clock East Coast time. Whenever we
Speaker 2: say times, it's always East Coast time. You guys do
Speaker 2: the math. And this way, all you guys can log
Speaker 2: into the chat room at the same time and hear
Speaker 2: the podcast in real time and interact with ore the slices,
Speaker 2: and then as much as we can, Skeary and I
Speaker 2: will jump in for fifteen twenty minutes, interact with you guys,
Speaker 2: listen along with you, answer questions. Yeah, which we can't
Speaker 2: do while we're recording because we'd be distracted. But this way,
Speaker 2: you're all listening and like all you talk backers that
Speaker 2: the Slice timers you could talk to we each other,
Speaker 2: you can interact. Oh hey shady jew, Hey, what's up?
Speaker 2: You know, Steve from from the Bronx, what's up? You know?
Speaker 2: As long as it's not like an opportunity to curse
Speaker 2: at us, that'd be great. Well, we wanted to know all
Speaker 2: your thoughts on being able to chat with Gota slices
Speaker 2: and then you know, have us pop in an into yeah,
Speaker 2: because because the thing it's going to be tricky is
Speaker 2: because everyone's got a different schedule, right, which is the
Speaker 2: beauty of our podcast is you can listen whenever you want,
Speaker 2: so yeah, but when you want to be available, we're
Speaker 2: wondering if, yeah, like an evening or like on a
Speaker 2: Wednesday night, you know, if we can get something like
Speaker 2: that going. So we want to garner I'm sorry, we
Speaker 2: want we want to gauge your interest, gauge your interest
Speaker 2: in that. And and because it's Patreon or Twitch, yeah,
Speaker 2: we have to give a percentage. Do not, by the way,
Speaker 2: don't leave talkbacks on that because that's going to crowd
Speaker 2: up Slice Time. Why don't you send us a a
Speaker 2: d M to the Brooklyn Boys account. Yeah, at at
Speaker 2: the Brooklyn Boys podcast your thoughts. Oh no, you're saying
Speaker 2: email us No, I said no, no, at the Brooklyn
Speaker 2: Boys on Insteagram right at the Brooklyn Boys No, right right,
Speaker 2: you said you know me and you know me and
Speaker 2: scary and that's proper. In the spot way, it'd probably
Speaker 2: be like a dollar, yeah, just so we can cover
Speaker 2: the cost of the platform and whatever. So it's just
Speaker 2: the thought because we'd have to do it on another platform,
Speaker 2: like like a Patreon or something. Right, we have to
Speaker 2: set up a Patreon account or whatever. So let us
Speaker 2: know if you if you're into that idea where you
Speaker 2: could live chat with the podcasters with all this with
Speaker 2: us and with the slices and listen all at the
Speaker 2: exact same time so you hear the jokes at the
Speaker 2: same time. All that, I'm going a couple of pieces
Speaker 2: of sound, yeah, and then I got to get to
Speaker 2: the selling my house story. What are the two pieces
Speaker 2: of sound? Well, we have, uh, we have Louis Taxis
Speaker 2: here and what's the other one the startup startup? Oh,
Speaker 2: this is the commercial where the guy's talking about, uh,
Speaker 2: going to a bank and he's talking about the startup
Speaker 2: companies and it sounds like our show. Yeah you want
Speaker 2: to hear it. Yeah, he goes or boring, makes vacations,
Speaker 2: happened early intirements and start ups start up? You do this, yeah,
Speaker 2: and start up, startup. Yeah. Okay, So now this guy
Speaker 2: Louis is it?
Speaker 4: Is it?
Speaker 2: The clip says Louis, Yeah, Louis is a commercial. Yeah,
Speaker 2: this is a commercial for a company that helps you
Speaker 2: when you're in trouble with the I R S. If
Speaker 2: you make a mistake, you didn't make a payment one year,
Speaker 2: you owe some money. Like, listen, we'll help you out.
Speaker 2: I say, Louis as the mind of its own Sorry, okay,
Speaker 2: I say when you hear what Louis has done that
Speaker 2: he's in trouble with the I r S. Fuck him.
Speaker 2: He deserves what he gets. Play it. Finally caught up
Speaker 2: with Louis. I haven't paid my taxes in eight years.
Speaker 2: He was in big trouble. We're gonna take your house, Yes,
Speaker 2: take his house, garnish his pay. He hasn't paid his
Speaker 2: taxes in eight years. Sure, and this company is like,
Speaker 2: will help you out, Louis. Fuck eight years? How do
Speaker 2: you not pay taxes for eight years. That's awful. He's called.
Speaker 2: I can't believe you're gonna garnish for my wages. Well,
Speaker 2: but you had an opportunity to give your wages on
Speaker 2: your own. You didn't. What are you expecting? You're lucky.
Speaker 2: You don't owe money to a loan shark. I didn't
Speaker 2: pay fat Tony and in eight years he broke my legs. Yes, yes,
Speaker 2: that's that's what Tony does. That's what that's what. But
Speaker 2: here's a company that's gonna help you out. I didn't.
Speaker 2: I didn't pay Jimmy the Shark for seven months, and
Speaker 2: I owed him five grand for my lousy bets. He
Speaker 2: stabbed me. No, Jimmy the Shark stabbed you. No, you
Speaker 2: don't say Hi, we're we're we're uh, we're uh. Where
Speaker 2: the Bookie where Bookies Incorporated? Did Jimmy stab you with
Speaker 2: a knife? We can help you out, Hey, Jimmy don't.
Speaker 2: He doesn't know you any moneymore? Okay, no problem. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I didn't pay my taxes for eight years. Listen, slices,
Speaker 2: I'm sure one of you is guilty of this. There
Speaker 2: might have been a reason, but for the most part,
Speaker 2: eight years, hey, years, they were gonna go wag. How
Speaker 2: they're gonna get the money that's done purposefully. Well, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: if I mean, but some people are getting over their
Speaker 2: head with credit cards and things, and you know they're
Speaker 2: looking for debt consolidation. That's I'm all about. I'm all
Speaker 2: about that stuff. But you got you gotta pay taxes.
Speaker 2: You got eight years. This person deliberately did not pay
Speaker 2: taxes for eight years. Right, And look, I understand maybe
Speaker 2: they have the money the first year, second year, third year.
Speaker 2: You you got to expect it. Eventually, the government's gonna
Speaker 2: come for the money. You're driving on their roads using
Speaker 2: their fire department. They want the money, They want them money.
Speaker 2: It's like, you know, I got a lottery ticket for
Speaker 2: eight years. I never chipped in. Hey hey hey, hey,
Speaker 2: hey hey, that's a different scenario. Yeah, hey, fuck Louis
Speaker 2: is my point? Yeah, all right, thank you. Right, we
Speaker 2: were just flying along here today on Good Friday. Oh
Speaker 2: by the way, don't say happy Good Friday. People know
Speaker 2: happy Good Friday. Let me explain. Good Friday is the
Speaker 2: highest day on the highest holy day on the Catholic calendar.
Speaker 2: This is the day that I guess Jesus got nailed
Speaker 2: to the cross. And he died. So anyway, yes, no,
Speaker 2: it's not a happy day. You do not know that happy.
Speaker 2: This is the day happened. This is the day that
Speaker 2: he died and rose. He rose, Yes, he's red. You
Speaker 2: has to correct you. No, no, no, but my point
Speaker 2: is now three days later he rose in Easter Sunday,
Speaker 2: we celebrate. That's right, he rose. That's the that's the
Speaker 2: happy holiday. Good Friday, Good Friday. Good good Friday is
Speaker 2: a somber holiday. It's also the highest holyday on the
Speaker 2: Catholic calendar, the highest. Yeah, good Friday. Anyway, Yeah, it
Speaker 2: would be like Jews a young jump kapoor. You don't
Speaker 2: say happy, it's m kapoor. But America is say a
Speaker 2: young kapoor. It's a day of atonement when you were repent.
Speaker 2: Feed this, Yeah, you don't eat you fast. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: a day of like punishment, happy kipper punishment in the camp.
Speaker 2: Tell people have an easy fast. You go, I hope
Speaker 2: you have an easy fast. Well, I'm not supposed to
Speaker 2: be eating meat today because it's a good Friday, but
Speaker 2: I already ate pepperoni pizza, so I'm dead. Anyway, I
Speaker 2: saw that artificial intelligence has taken it a step further.
Speaker 2: Everyone's worried that AI is coming for your job, they're
Speaker 2: taking your jobs away. Well, AI is coming over the border.
Speaker 2: Well i'll tell you what. I think that there's one
Speaker 2: job that it's coming for. And you got to be
Speaker 2: careful if you're do this for a living. This jockey,
Speaker 2: well that too. Uh mosus professional massuse because they're saying
Speaker 2: that the artificial intelligence it knows you so well. I mean,
Speaker 2: it does like a scan of who you are and
Speaker 2: where your pains are. It'll get to know you so
Speaker 2: well that it will give you a better massage than
Speaker 2: a human possibly could. And it doesn't tire. It doesn't tire,
Speaker 2: it doesn't tire out. It doesn't you know if somebody,
Speaker 2: let's say, you like the eighth customer for the of
Speaker 2: the day for a massuse. Now listen, I'm not trying
Speaker 2: to like throw shade at professional messuses, but just know,
Speaker 2: massus is assus. I I don't mean to throw shade
Speaker 2: at you all, but just know that I this is
Speaker 2: one of those things that can probably be replaced. What
Speaker 2: I see is, uh, it's an arm. It's like a plastic,
Speaker 2: a rubber arm. I don't know what it's made of
Speaker 2: with like like the shape of a hand of sorts,
Speaker 2: almost like a like what Barbie World would be like.
Speaker 2: Not you know where Ken doesn't have a penis, but
Speaker 2: it's like the shape of one. It's kind of like
Speaker 2: a general a mannequin type thing. Right, So you lay
Speaker 2: on the you lay on the bed just like you
Speaker 2: would in a massage situation, and this mechanical elbow and
Speaker 2: arm and hand comes down and we'll give you a massage.
Speaker 2: And it knows the type of pressure to apply. It
Speaker 2: knows where your your spot the spots are on you
Speaker 2: that you know because it has done a scam on
Speaker 2: you to see where you need it most, where the
Speaker 2: knots are. I'm willing to bet by the way, I've
Speaker 2: been obsessed with wanting to get one of these since
Speaker 2: you know we at the beginning of a sentence as
Speaker 2: in not going to do it. Come on, you wouldn't
Speaker 2: trust artificial intelligence. I've seen West World, the original movie
Speaker 2: on the TV show. What if the robot goes bad
Speaker 2: and crushes you? Here's a better question, can you get
Speaker 2: an AI happy ending? That was my next thing? You
Speaker 2: stole that from me, but that's okay. But no, I
Speaker 2: didn't know I don't get. But the thing is, I
Speaker 2: don't I hate massages overall. But yeah, I know the
Speaker 2: haha happy ending. That's what Pete, that's the joke, right,
Speaker 2: but well yeah, yeah I made it right. You made
Speaker 2: the joke right. But I don't like regular massages. I
Speaker 2: don't like massages at all. So I feel like I
Speaker 2: want to get one of these because I want to
Speaker 2: see if it really can give me a better quality.
Speaker 2: But you've gone massages on cruises. I know you have.
Speaker 2: I have, but will unwillingly or they were free. Oh
Speaker 2: fair enough, I've gotten free free massages. I don't right
Speaker 2: in here? Yeah yeah, same. You know we got credit.
Speaker 2: Oh what do you mean? I got on board credit?
Speaker 2: Fuck what I'm going to I get that Manny Petty
Speaker 2: right now? Yeah, I got a facial no jokes. Well
Speaker 2: so so yeah, so what do you you? You really
Speaker 2: wouldn't let an ai uh no work you No. I
Speaker 2: would feel like it was a thing from Adams family.
Speaker 2: You know, the hand that just walks around. They say,
Speaker 2: don't knock it till you try it. I don't know
Speaker 2: anyway they're giving they are, they are out there. How
Speaker 2: about this? Let me ask you a question. Hold on
Speaker 2: what if the what if the husband of the conjoined
Speaker 2: twins wants a massage? Does the left handed Brittany have
Speaker 2: to give a massage or does he get a one
Speaker 2: hand massage. He's gonna have to because the other girls
Speaker 2: is gonna be like, take a walk, but you can't.
Speaker 2: Here it is robotic messuse uses AI to tailor massage
Speaker 2: to users preferences. This is amazing and the users needs
Speaker 2: tailor massage. By the way, my favorite counchy tailor massage. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm look at this. This thing is working. Look at
Speaker 2: this working. This guy we're doing it. We're doing an
Speaker 2: audio podcast.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 2: Oh that's right. We're not on video because you won't
Speaker 2: you won't let us. Yeah that's right. Anyway, this thing
Speaker 2: looks like it knows exactly all the spots to hit.
Speaker 2: I can't wait. I want to get one of these.
Speaker 2: I wonder if anyway one of the someone's gonna be
Speaker 2: listening to this five years into the future hearing this
Speaker 2: conversation and we're talking about it like it's so feign,
Speaker 2: But it's gonna be people didn't have robots give them
Speaker 2: a massage. Yeah, every day, it's gonna be a good
Speaker 2: every day thing. Oh my god, I just knowed something.
Speaker 2: What's that? What if the conjoined twin gets pregnant, they
Speaker 2: both have to go through childbirth? Oh my god, you're right.
Speaker 2: Oh and what if what if the other one didn't
Speaker 2: want kids right or doesn't want to go through the
Speaker 2: pain of childbirth? Does she have to help breastfeed the kid?
Speaker 2: And I don't know if she's capable. I'm just saying
Speaker 2: if they were so many quests, I go back to that.
Speaker 2: I go back all day to the topic, so many questions.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you about my home my home selling experience.
Speaker 2: First of all, I want to shout out one of
Speaker 2: our newest slices. Well not newest, because he's been he's
Speaker 2: been hooked since December. Maybe that is my real tour.
Speaker 2: What about real tour. He's a real toys he's up
Speaker 2: to speed on the Brooking Boys. He and his wife
Speaker 2: are big fans, really big fans. Yeah, his wife was
Speaker 2: a big Morning show fan, the big show off air
Speaker 2: show head fan, off air note Nope, the Elvis Terran
Speaker 2: Morning Show big fan. My realtor was not. But they
Speaker 2: are both big slices. Now, good, well, thank you. I
Speaker 2: want to I want to shout out the man who
Speaker 2: got me a bunch more money from my house than
Speaker 2: what I was asking. Yes, I I already wrote him
Speaker 2: very nice reviews, but I'm going to shout him out.
Speaker 2: His name is Andrew Allen. All Right, Andrew. He looks
Speaker 2: like Anderson Cooper, although he you know, he also looks
Speaker 2: like Andy Cohen. I think he prefers the Andy Cohen reference. Yeah,
Speaker 2: all right, he's He's very good at what he does.
Speaker 2: He's also he's also fun and personable, and I genuinely
Speaker 2: think he gives a shit about his client. It's nice,
Speaker 2: is why to meet you?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I met him. I met him like thirteen years ago
Speaker 2: at an open house, and I kept his number because
Speaker 2: I really liked him, And then when it's time to
Speaker 2: sell the house, I called him. It'sirre to find people
Speaker 2: like that. At some point, I would say early April,
Speaker 2: I will put his information up in the link in
Speaker 2: my bio on Instagram. So if you want to look
Speaker 2: him up, if you're selling a house in North Jersey,
Speaker 2: he's someone you should at least you should talk to
Speaker 2: because he he did a great job with us. Couldn't
Speaker 2: be any happier. However, because my wife was at work
Speaker 2: and I'm a lazy stay home I had to handle
Speaker 2: all of the home showings, meaning when people want to
Speaker 2: come see the house during the week, I either have
Speaker 2: to make so I had to make sure the house
Speaker 2: is clean. I had to get up, make the beds.
Speaker 2: But you got to do it all. I staged the
Speaker 2: house and did everything every day, like every day stage
Speaker 2: the house. And then the way it's all digitalized now
Speaker 2: is I get a text message saying there's a request
Speaker 2: for Tuesday at ten thirty. All the appointments of fifteen
Speaker 2: minutes or a half hour, the realtor schedules them for
Speaker 2: their client. So I were like, okay, I have to
Speaker 2: be out of the house for a half hour. So
Speaker 2: this was in December January. So I get in my
Speaker 2: car and by the way, you could you could never
Speaker 2: be home while they showing the show because they'll ask
Speaker 2: your questions you don't want to have to answer. Plus
Speaker 2: they feel uncomfortable. You can't be in the house. So
Speaker 2: I get the dogs, I get in my car and
Speaker 2: I sit at the end of the block. Now end
Speaker 2: of the block I lived on. I lived on a
Speaker 2: cul de sack and my house was two houses away
Speaker 2: from the cul to sack. So when I sit in
Speaker 2: the cul de sack, the house wasn't that far away.
Speaker 2: I could see everybody going in the house. And it's
Speaker 2: weird when you watch people go into your house. It's
Speaker 2: weird because you're not home. You're like, they're in your stuff. Now, look,
Speaker 2: I've shopped for homes. I've gone into other people's homes.
Speaker 2: You open the closets, what do you do have to
Speaker 2: open them? Scary? Close them? You close, You close the closet.
Speaker 2: If you open the blinds, you lower the blinds, you
Speaker 2: turn the lights on, you turn the lights off. Nope, Nope,
Speaker 2: that's not the way people are these days. They are intrusive. Fox.
Speaker 2: The majority of people that went into my house were
Speaker 2: rude and obnoxious. I'm gonna give you some stories. Fifteen
Speaker 2: minutes or a half hour. You have an option. Don't
Speaker 2: make a fifteen minute appointment and stay an hour. People did.
Speaker 2: They stand in the kitchen talking for forty five minutes,
Speaker 2: and I'm in my car freezing my ass off because
Speaker 2: I'm not going to run the engine for forty five
Speaker 2: minutes an hour. I'll run the engine for fifteen minutes,
Speaker 2: but then at like the half hour, markt like, my
Speaker 2: tank's gonna be empty. I had dogs in the car.
Speaker 2: This is fucking bullshit. Okay, So I had the people
Speaker 2: who one family. You and I were going to podcast.
Speaker 2: We were podcasting, and I said I had to be
Speaker 2: done by three o'clock. I remember this day right, because
Speaker 2: I had a three thirty appointment. Yeah, they showed up
Speaker 2: at two forty. Now two of the dogs were in
Speaker 2: the podcast room with me. One of my dogs was
Speaker 2: in the window. They saw the dog in the w window.
Speaker 2: He barked at them in the window. Now, when you
Speaker 2: sell your home, there's those lock boxes outside on you,
Speaker 2: on you on your porch or whatever, in front of
Speaker 2: your house. Yeah, and the realtor can open them and
Speaker 2: take the key front. Of course, of course the realtor
Speaker 2: saw the dog in the window, saw my car on
Speaker 2: the driveway, opened the door. Wow, while you and I
Speaker 2: were podcasting. I ran downstairs to like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2: My dog was outside. My dog ran outside because they
Speaker 2: didn't let they didn't think to block the door. That
Speaker 2: for the dog to run out with the dog they
Speaker 2: saw in the window. Miserable, don't show up forty minutes
Speaker 2: early or whatever? Fuck you? Okay, all right then I
Speaker 2: had these people come. They spent fifteen minutes in my house.
Speaker 2: Fifteen minutes. That's it. Now, have you spent fifteen minutes?
Speaker 2: That means you're not really that interested in the house. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you just want to get back yard. You're like, yeah,
Speaker 2: let's get an idea of what a house this this
Speaker 2: much money costs. Like I don't like the bathrooms, I
Speaker 2: like the kitchen. It's not not for us. Fifteen minutes
Speaker 2: they were in the house. These motherfuckers opened up every
Speaker 2: one of my closets and left them open. If your
Speaker 2: biggest concern in my house is my closets, fuck, you
Speaker 2: don't buy my house. Like, what are you doing? I
Speaker 2: I it's one one of my bedrooms has sliding doors
Speaker 2: in the closets, right, they slid both of them open.
Speaker 2: It would kill you to close them? What?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 2: What fucking family? Not only I felt like Goldilocks. Now
Speaker 2: I felt like the three bears. Excuse me with Goldilocks
Speaker 2: in the house. I come home, I go back in
Speaker 2: the house. After they leave, the pillows on my couch
Speaker 2: are all moved. They fucking sat on my couch. They
Speaker 2: went in my podcast room and sat in the chair
Speaker 2: because I had the chair to under the desk, the
Speaker 2: chair you're sitting in right now. They pulled the chair
Speaker 2: out and turned it. Did they see the repeat? No,
Speaker 2: I hit that I had that. I was all gone,
Speaker 2: I don't anybody know where I live. I don't want
Speaker 2: to they fuck with your your two dollars equipment over there? No,
Speaker 2: fuck you, it's not four million dollars. It's decent anyway.
Speaker 2: The point is, who goes to someone's house to buy
Speaker 2: a house. They go through your medicine cabinet. You're buying
Speaker 2: a house because of the inside of my medicine cabinet.
Speaker 2: You're fucking weird. They took it by the They definitely
Speaker 2: took a picture in your chair with the microphone next
Speaker 2: to it. Yeah, that's probably what they did. That's a
Speaker 2: great point. Somewhere there's a picture of someone else, someone
Speaker 2: other than Brody's sitting in his chair. I had one
Speaker 2: one family. They were scheduled for one o'clock. Okay, my
Speaker 2: last appointment a day was one o'clock, right, it was them. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they don't show up, so we're like, they must have canceled.
Speaker 2: They're not coming, So they didn't bother putting it in
Speaker 2: the computer that they canceled. So I go back at
Speaker 2: my house at one forty. When I realized they're not coming,
Speaker 2: I'm sitting on the couch. I'm chilling. At two thirty,
Speaker 2: they show up. I go, excuse me, what are you doing? Oh,
Speaker 2: we're here for our appointment. Your appointment was an hour
Speaker 2: and a half ago. Yeah, no, we wanted to see
Speaker 2: the house. No, no you don't let him in. No, no,
Speaker 2: you don't show But an hour and a half late?
Speaker 2: Were they went the realtor?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: I was like, why didn't you call? You have a
Speaker 2: You could have rescheduled the appointment in the computer and
Speaker 2: said we want to request two thirty. I would have said, okay,
Speaker 2: no problem, because I would have had the dogs ready.
Speaker 2: It would have the doors already in for the night.
Speaker 2: They're done. Yeah, that's some balls, man. Then I had
Speaker 2: a family. They showed up twenty minutes late. They were
Speaker 2: there an hour scary an hour, So that's an hour
Speaker 2: and twenty. I'm in my car. Yeah, I see the
Speaker 2: guy go into my bathroom because the window faces were unparked.
Speaker 2: He sits down on the toilet. This guy took a
Speaker 2: shit in your toilet. He ran into my bathroom my
Speaker 2: private bathroom. So at this point, it's an hour and
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes. So I go to my door my house.
Speaker 2: I knock on the door. The reltor comes to the door.
Speaker 2: He says, gonna help you. You ran up to interrupted
Speaker 2: the showing. Yes, because they were there an hour and
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes whatever, twenty minutes. Team in an appoyment. You
Speaker 2: have binoculars or a telescope? What doing scary? I'm two
Speaker 2: houses of way staring at my house. They're supposed to
Speaker 2: be gone after twenty minutes. So the realtor comes to
Speaker 2: the front doors, is can I help you? I said, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm the homeowner. I would like to come into the house.
Speaker 2: It's it's five thirty and when I have dinner. You
Speaker 2: guys are here over an hour. He goes, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: sorry that we were talking. I go, yeah, but you're
Speaker 2: talking in my kitchen, right, I said, Plus, the guy
Speaker 2: took a dump in my toilet. No he didn't. He
Speaker 2: sat down on my toilet for eight minutes and didn't
Speaker 2: take a dump. You were not supposed to go into
Speaker 2: people's bathrooms. And you know what, the sad Paul was scary.
Speaker 2: God's honest truth. This is not for the podcast. Okay,
Speaker 2: I hid every roll of toilet paper and every box
Speaker 2: of tissues in my house. He wiped his as on
Speaker 2: your towel. I don't know what I hid the towels.
Speaker 2: There was nothing to wipe with. I don't mind if
Speaker 2: you pee, but I know what people do. There was
Speaker 2: no toilet. It was all hidden in the garage. Guy,
Speaker 2: I think I think you might have wiped it under
Speaker 2: your dog. Is it one of your dogs? Brown now dogs?
Speaker 4: In my car?
Speaker 2: Genius kill so so so. Then there was one couple.
Speaker 2: They came to the house for again, a half hour appointment.
Speaker 2: They scheduled a double appointment. I'm in I'm in my
Speaker 2: car again. They were the last appointment of the day.
Speaker 2: You're hour an hour in the house. Then they come
Speaker 2: out of the house. They do what everyone does. You
Speaker 2: stand in front of the house and talk about it.
Speaker 2: I get it. Then she goes around to my backyard
Speaker 2: and she's touching every bush on the side of my house.
Speaker 2: She's touching the leaves, she's feeling them, she's looking at
Speaker 2: it like every like, what are you doing? Wanted to
Speaker 2: because she wanted to become one with nature, bro one
Speaker 2: with nature. So I'm waiting to go in my house.
Speaker 2: She's she's hand jobbing my bushes, which you know hashtag
Speaker 2: ham drob my bushes. Feel My Bush. That's the name
Speaker 2: of this podcast. Yeah, feel my bush, Feel my Bush. Okay, wait,
Speaker 2: by the way, you're you're like visibly angry, all right, slices,
Speaker 2: I gotta say something here. He's basically angry. Fucking this
Speaker 2: guy is fuming right now. You're working yourself up on this.
Speaker 2: You realize this. You worked you worked yourself up, you
Speaker 2: wrote this down, and now you're reliving it. And I
Speaker 2: can imagine how you were fuming on those days when
Speaker 2: this was these wor things were. Now, look, I'm trying
Speaker 2: to be nice because I want these people to buy
Speaker 2: my house. You see, you have to put up with assholes,
Speaker 2: So I give you another one. This guy shows up
Speaker 2: with his reeltor with his clients. The realtor shows up
Speaker 2: with his clients. They're thirty five minutes late. Yeah. Now again,
Speaker 2: that means I had to leave at ten minutes before
Speaker 2: the appointment, so I'm out of the house, so I'm
Speaker 2: in my car for forty five minutes. They show up
Speaker 2: thirty five minutes late. As I'm walking back to the
Speaker 2: front of my house. So I see him, like, excuse me,
Speaker 2: Can I help you now? At this point I already
Speaker 2: called Andrew. My realtor said, Andrew, these people are not here.
Speaker 2: Can I go back in the house. He will give
Speaker 2: them five more minutes. I go, okay. At the thirty
Speaker 2: five minute mark, I'm like, fuck it. They're late. They're
Speaker 2: not coming. So I said, Andrew, they didn't call you.
Speaker 2: They didn't didn't into the into the computer, they didn't
Speaker 2: do anything. No. So when I go up to the
Speaker 2: front door, I said, can I help you? Yeah, we're
Speaker 2: here for our appointment. What time was your appointment? One o'clock?
Speaker 2: I said, you know it's one thirty five, right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you were running little late. I called Andrew. I let
Speaker 2: him know, really, because I just got off the phone. Andrew,
Speaker 2: you didn't call him? He goes, oh, I guess I
Speaker 2: must have called it different. Was called a different reeltor. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I said, well, I can't show you the house. He goes, well,
Speaker 2: it came all the way from Brooklyn. I go, well, then,
Speaker 2: why didn't you tell me you were running late? Oh?
Speaker 2: Did you let did you let him in the house?
Speaker 2: I let them in because they were from Brooklyn. Okay,
Speaker 2: I said, Oh, I'm gonna say from brook from Brooklyn,
Speaker 2: this namesake of this podcast. You know, the b of course,
Speaker 2: you know now the weirdest couple. I got one more couple.
Speaker 2: Ask me a question, scary again. Did you ever think
Speaker 2: that that because your house is for sale trying to
Speaker 2: unload it, that you you should maybe be able to
Speaker 2: put up a little bit with people's short coming and
Speaker 2: their and their lateness and their stupidity. Take it a
Speaker 2: little bit more like a sponge. You know, good things
Speaker 2: are gonna happen. You are, but things can't picture perfect.
Speaker 2: Every time I showed my house over sixty times by
Speaker 2: the time we were done, right about sixty two appointments, Roughly,
Speaker 2: we got an offer on the first day. Like I
Speaker 2: could have called it quits, but I put up with it.
Speaker 2: And every day I would complain to Andrew and God
Speaker 2: bless him again. Andrew Allen, my realtor. I would complain
Speaker 2: to him. He's like, save it for the podcast, David,
Speaker 2: save it for the podcast. And I'm like, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: save it for the podcast, Andrew, but I'm going Okay,
Speaker 2: He's like, only a couple more days, give it a
Speaker 2: couple more days. I know you're going through this. One
Speaker 2: couple goes into the house with their realtor, and I
Speaker 2: see the realtors downstairs with the wife, right because I
Speaker 2: see them in the window in the kitchen and through
Speaker 2: the dining room window, the living room window, and I
Speaker 2: see the husband is going in every bedroom and taking
Speaker 2: pictures of every corner, every light fixture, every piece of furniture.
Speaker 2: That's how some people shop, though. They have to know
Speaker 2: what they're buying. Fuming my house. Okay, that's totally fine.
Speaker 2: I got no problem with that. He's not taking He's
Speaker 2: not like the guy that took the ship in your toilet. No,
Speaker 2: but why do you have a problem with that? They
Speaker 2: need to know what they're buying. So, you know, maybe
Speaker 2: he's got to have never seen anyone take pictures of
Speaker 2: every wall. There was no cracks. It wasn't like he
Speaker 2: was taking pictures of cracks. He's like, I want to
Speaker 2: have this crack looked at. Well, he wants to remember
Speaker 2: every room and he opened every closet. Maybe he's got
Speaker 2: short term memory, so maybe he wants to remind himself
Speaker 2: of what that All four walls are gray. Okay, so
Speaker 2: what is a conspiracy against you, Brody? Is that what
Speaker 2: he's documenting? Your house? By the way, and in thirty
Speaker 2: days you knew that that wasn't going to be your
Speaker 2: house anymore. There was still The point is he was
Speaker 2: looking at my things. My things photograph he's face for,
Speaker 2: he's photographic my computer desk that has like bobble heads
Speaker 2: on it. I'd like I left a couple of bottle
Speaker 2: heads because I so you have to take everything out.
Speaker 2: I took all the pictures off the walls. I I,
Speaker 2: you know, what, are you just weird? What do you
Speaker 2: think he did with I don't know these pictures. I
Speaker 2: don't know. Plus I didn't want anyone to like know
Speaker 2: it was by my house. I felt weird, like like, oh,
Speaker 2: it was in Brodie's house. I took up Goroop's bedroom.
Speaker 2: It was just weird. Also, the last thing I'll tell you,
Speaker 2: you know, I sleep late, So I told Andrew don't
Speaker 2: make any appointments to me before eleven am. He's like,
Speaker 2: all right, no problem, eleven am will be your first appointment.
Speaker 2: I'm sleeping, okay, I'm sleeping in my underwear. That's it.
Speaker 2: And just wear my underwear because again, my wife's at work.
Speaker 2: I'm right in sure. So it's it's ten twenty five.
Speaker 2: I gotta get up, get dressed. I got an eleven
Speaker 2: fifteen appointment, so I got plenty of time to get
Speaker 2: up and get out. Ten thirty I hear the front
Speaker 2: door open. I'm in my underwear, so I throw on
Speaker 2: pants like there's a fire, and I and the dogs
Speaker 2: are all in the rooms. I throw a T shirt on.
Speaker 2: I said, can I help you? Yeah, I'm here for
Speaker 2: my appointment. What time's your appointment? Eleven fifteen? It's ten thirty.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I wanted to come in and get a look at
Speaker 2: the place beforehand, just look around, give myself a tour,
Speaker 2: oh by myself? Yeah, so, I said, you're a realtor. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so you know how this works, right, You make an appointment,
Speaker 2: you come at your appointment time. Well, you say to me,
Speaker 2: you call and you say, can I come early? I'm
Speaker 2: in my underwear. What are you doing? You're forty five
Speaker 2: minutes early. I wanted to give myself a tour. Well,
Speaker 2: go give yourself a tour on the outside of the house.
Speaker 2: You fuck. So, I will tell you that. Andrews said,
Speaker 2: most of what I complained about is common, but that
Speaker 2: no one should show up forty five minutes early. Of course. Yeah,
Speaker 2: if I was late, I get it all. Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 2: but you got You're dealing with the public. You're trying
Speaker 2: to have a very very big piece of you know, yeah,
Speaker 2: piece of property. You're probably the biggest ask that you own.
Speaker 2: Right it was yeah everyone right. So but you sold
Speaker 2: your house, congratulations? Yes, I sold my house thanks to Andrew.
Speaker 2: And I'm telling you I would have killed myself with
Speaker 2: someone else it wasn't for him. But man, oh man,
Speaker 2: interfacing with these people, uh, you know, listen, you gotta
Speaker 2: have a little bit of I don't even know what
Speaker 2: it is, just patience, humility, I don't know what you
Speaker 2: want to call it, but just plan, plan for the worst.
Speaker 2: And you know under they say in the world of sales,
Speaker 2: under promise and over deliver, right, But in this case,
Speaker 2: expect the least of people and then you won't be
Speaker 2: so I expect you the least as in the least
Speaker 2: you could do is not sit in my office chair.
Speaker 2: How would you feel if you came home and all
Speaker 2: your shit was moved? I'd be fucking angry. That isn't
Speaker 2: related to buying a house, but taking this in my
Speaker 2: podcast chair. But to buy a house, there's got to
Speaker 2: be a reason behind taking pictures of every corner. Maybe
Speaker 2: he's trying to figure out where he would put his furniture.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm not trying to make excuses for
Speaker 2: these people. You had to sit in a chair to
Speaker 2: figure out where he put his furniture. How is that
Speaker 2: a thing? You need to cool down and have yourself
Speaker 2: a weekend? Bertie, You want me to cool down? Yeah,
Speaker 2: my dog won't even cool down. Dogs are barking as
Speaker 2: we speak. My dogs are always barking. Did they get
Speaker 2: the dog get the brown stained off his fur? Oh? Stop?
Speaker 2: Andrew works for Compass Realties. Compass Compass shout out to
Speaker 2: Compass and Andrew. But that's it again. If I had any
Speaker 2: if I had a let's say I had like a
Speaker 2: guy like me as my realtor. Like if a hearty
Speaker 2: guy like, hey, I like you, you're from Brooklyn, he
Speaker 2: would have been like, get the fuck off my property, Like,
Speaker 2: my guy doesn't want to sell the house to you, asshole.
Speaker 2: Luck a guy who was like, I'm down, It'll be fine.
Speaker 2: This is what's to be expected. If they like that,
Speaker 2: if they stay an hour and a half. They're probably
Speaker 2: gonna put a bit on the house. So he's able
Speaker 2: to calm me down, but scary in the moment. Dude,
Speaker 2: you know me, Oh, I know you, Oh, I know you.
Speaker 2: Then touching my cabinets, you gotta go. I gotta have myself.
Speaker 2: I lived in the living in Brooklyn. I have these problems.
Speaker 2: I have to have myself. A good Friday, Boys, Brooklyn
Speaker 2: Boys