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Speaker 1: Every day.

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Speaker 2: Up click up the Breakfast Club finish for y'all done. Yes,

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Speaker 2: it's the world was dangerous?

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Speaker 3: Want to show to Breakfast Club the god DJ Envy

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Speaker 3: just hilarious. Envy's not here, but Lauren Lerosa is and

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Speaker 3: and we got some special guests in the building. Man,

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Speaker 3: the good brother, doctor J Barnett along with doctor Joel Tutman.

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Speaker 3: How y'all brothers doing man?

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Speaker 1: Man, We're good Man, feeling good this morning, Man, feeling

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Speaker 1: real good.

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Speaker 3: You know you see Doctor J on the Just Hill podcast.

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Speaker 3: Y'all y'all going to Just Hill tour together?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, Man, So it's been exciting man to Just

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Speaker 1: Hell podcast with doctor J. Man. We lunched back in

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Speaker 1: April and just to see how it's grown.

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Speaker 4: Uh.

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Speaker 1: Shaw was on me for years, like, bro, you gotta

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Speaker 1: do a podcast to like you gotta be on the network.

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Speaker 1: And I wasn't. If I could be honest, I wasn't

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Speaker 1: a podcaster because I'm like, man, Jess, how this is.

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Speaker 1: This is a gift that y'all do to get up

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Speaker 1: and and the talk and all of that. I love

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Speaker 1: to speak because when I speak, I have this this

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Speaker 1: structure that I follow and then I'm going these different places.

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Speaker 1: But the podcast has really grown me to hear other

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Speaker 1: people's stories, so it's like therapy and real time. And

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Speaker 1: from having my sister Raji on Kirk Franklin, Rico Love

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Speaker 1: and then I have some people who are just everyday

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Speaker 1: people that are sharing their healing journeys and just sharing

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Speaker 1: where they are. So it's been a fun journey.

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Speaker 5: Man.

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Speaker 1: So now I can officially say yes, I'm a podcast.

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Speaker 5: Hell love it.

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Speaker 6: You guys have like a really cool dynamic because I mean,

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Speaker 6: you're pastor you do mental health and like all these things. Right,

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Speaker 6: But y'all know in our community, a lot of times

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Speaker 6: when you're going through some people like just pray about it.

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Speaker 6: How do y'all have conversations around that.

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Speaker 4: It's more than prayer. I think prayer is very essential,

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Speaker 4: but it's the backbone. It's a substratum of everything. But

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Speaker 4: there has to be practical application because you're human, so

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Speaker 4: that is the spiritual component. But if you don't have friendship,

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Speaker 4: you don't have people that can walk you through the journey,

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Speaker 4: then you'll often become lost. And I like to say

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Speaker 4: people become mystic. They just stay in this spooky vial

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Speaker 4: and uh and Again, that's not to talk about the

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Speaker 4: church background, because I have a strong church background, but

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Speaker 4: having therapists, having people that can actually supply sufficient support

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Speaker 4: really can help change the dynamic of what you're going through.

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Speaker 4: I think that's very important.

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Speaker 3: And UH used to be associated pastor at the Potter House, right, Yes, sir,

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Speaker 3: But did you love to go to Florida?

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Speaker 2: I didn't know that could happen. They made it sound

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Speaker 2: like you was transferring schools and something you were playing

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Speaker 2: one place.

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Speaker 7: You know that could happen.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I just the way they do I guess,

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Speaker 3: I guess the pothouse the way you know, the way

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Speaker 3: they worded it, I'm like, okay, Yeah, I.

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Speaker 4: Went there to learn from who I believe to be

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Speaker 4: the greatest of all times. I think Mishop Jakes is

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Speaker 4: the greatest of all times. And I went there to

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Speaker 4: learn and there was an opportunity that opened up in Florida,

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Speaker 4: and so that's how I ended there. I ended up

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Speaker 4: there because he trained me. I was prepared and we

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Speaker 4: ended up in Florida. And God's been good to missus

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Speaker 4: have been there.

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Speaker 2: How did that work?

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Speaker 1: Though?

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Speaker 2: Like when you like, like what does the spirit tell you?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 3: I want to be. I need you to go, you know,

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Speaker 3: lead this congregation, that lead this flock.

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Speaker 1: Now, like, what is it?

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Speaker 4: What hits you? When I was in Oklahoma originally, and

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Speaker 4: when I was there, I knew that I wasn't going

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Speaker 4: to be there forever. And so the opportunity for change

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Speaker 4: didn't start at the Potter's house. I was coaching at

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Speaker 4: Oklahoma State University and and pastoring at the same time,

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Speaker 4: and so the opportunity to shift came at a good season.

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Speaker 4: Church was doing fine, my work was doing great, and

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Speaker 4: I went to preach for Bishop Jakes. So I had

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Speaker 4: to sit back and realize, Okay, the things that I

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Speaker 4: wanted to see happened in the future career wise and

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Speaker 4: ministry wise, came through an opportunity of another individual. There

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Speaker 4: wasn't a voice from heaven, a chap that came down

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Speaker 4: and said move. It wasn't that. It was a man

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Speaker 4: of God looked at me and said, what's your future?

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Speaker 4: What do you What do you want to be? What

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Speaker 4: do you see happening where you want to go? And

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Speaker 4: when I told him that, then it unlocked something for

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Speaker 4: me to start looking at. And when I started looking

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Speaker 4: at it, I started saying all the insufficiencies, all the

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Speaker 4: places that needed work, all the places that needed a

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Speaker 4: model or mentor, and he filled that void. And then

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Speaker 4: from there it was a challenge, what do you want?

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Speaker 4: And I had to answer that question and that answer

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Speaker 4: was move. Wow.

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Speaker 2: That's where y'all met, right, yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. We met in Dallas. A friend of mine

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Speaker 1: had sent me a video and like, yo, I just

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Speaker 1: found your spirit animal. I was like, all right, So

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Speaker 1: I started watching his clips. He in a gym, killing

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Speaker 1: it in you know, he's a strengthing conditioning code. So

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Speaker 1: we got the whole football background from watching how he speaks,

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Speaker 1: and I said, yo, I really rock with this dude.

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Speaker 1: So I'm say pause. I slid his DMS, but but

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Speaker 1: I hit him up and like, yo, brother, I love

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Speaker 1: what you're doing man, And we we had at some

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Speaker 1: exchange but didn't know that we both moved to Dallas

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Speaker 1: during the pandemic at the same time, and slowly, you know,

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Speaker 1: started kind of engaging. But I'd engage him to come

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Speaker 1: on my tour to Jessere Bro. I had four voices

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Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, we need a five,

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Speaker 1: and I could reached out to him. I said, Bro,

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Speaker 1: I want you to go on tour. Now here's the

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Speaker 1: story about the development of friendship. This brother was not

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Speaker 1: having it, Jess. And the more I would text him

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Speaker 1: and like, hey man, you know, brother, you know, look

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Speaker 1: forward to having your on tour. He would come on

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Speaker 1: the tour, he would get on stage, do his thing

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Speaker 1: and would just sit in the back and wouldn't say anything.

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Speaker 1: And I felt, you know, that he needed friendship. But

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Speaker 1: I also felt compelled like I just couldn't let it go.

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Speaker 1: And I would text him and check in on him, like,

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Speaker 1: hey man, I hope you all as well, brother, Just

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Speaker 1: checking in, and he would just text back the army, mooji,

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Speaker 1: the muscles because he was not And I understood as

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Speaker 1: we begin, because it's difficult men, and study shows this.

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Speaker 1: Men have a difficult time making friends after thirty five.

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Speaker 1: And this is the real reason why a lot of

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Speaker 1: men are suffering in silence and suffering in their mental

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Speaker 1: health because of the lack of community and the lack

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Speaker 1: of friendships there. They're not like women. They don't engage

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Speaker 1: and most men don't build friendships beyond their workplace. And

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Speaker 1: our friendship started from a challenge of who can lose

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Speaker 1: the most weight and get down to you know, get

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Speaker 1: down to the lowest body fat and that built the

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Speaker 1: friendship that people see that we have today and the

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Speaker 1: love that I have for this brother, and I saw

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Speaker 1: it in him. Like I said, Bro, you're one of

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Speaker 1: the best to me. And I think when you are

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Speaker 1: building friendships, you want to have friendships where somebody can

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Speaker 1: see more in you than you see in yourself in

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Speaker 1: that current space.

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Speaker 2: Why were you so guard it, doctor Tuban?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, please tell the world. How tell the world how

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Speaker 1: he would leave me on red And it didn't bother

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Speaker 1: me because and I want to add this, when you

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Speaker 1: have dealt with your rejection or abandonment issues, how a

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Speaker 1: person response doesn't trigger you. Yeah, because I didn't know

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Speaker 1: what his experience was, but I knew I wanted to

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Speaker 1: keep showing up for him.

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Speaker 4: Friendship is important to me. It's very essential. And I'm

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Speaker 4: too old to start over in certain places. So for me,

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Speaker 4: I have fresh room, fresh wounds. As it pertains to

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Speaker 4: mail the male friendships, brothers real strong relationships, and I

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Speaker 4: had just gotten to the point to where I was

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Speaker 4: okay without the relationship, and so when this good brother

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Speaker 4: reached out to me, he was very persistent. I didn't

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Speaker 4: understand him. I didn't understand this process, his makeup. He's

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Speaker 4: a therapist, so his mental is really really strong, mind strong,

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Speaker 4: but it's more defensive versus just being vulnerable. So I

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Speaker 4: had a difficult trying to be vulnerable. And so he

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Speaker 4: kept pressing and kept pressing and kept pressing. I wasn't

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Speaker 4: really interested in that. I was okay. I wasn't. I wasn't.

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Speaker 4: I was okay with working out. So I was doing

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Speaker 4: a challenge. He jumped in on Instagram and said, yo,

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Speaker 4: I can I run you. I was like, man, get

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Speaker 4: out here with all that. You're too big, you know.

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Speaker 4: So that's what happened. So we went into this forty

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Speaker 4: day challenge, and then maybe twenty something days within to

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Speaker 4: the challenge, he kept coming on. My lives kept coming on,

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Speaker 4: kept coming on. He said, man, won't you meet me?

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Speaker 4: Let's box. So that's what happened. I met him at

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Speaker 4: the gym somewhere in the twenties of the count and

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Speaker 4: our friendship started taking off. Now, as it started taking off,

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Speaker 4: I was still very very guarded because I was not

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Speaker 4: going to get another homemade, another homeboy. I was fine, okay,

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Speaker 4: But as we continued to train. We started having therapeutic

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Speaker 4: conversations about what's going on in your mind? Why are

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Speaker 4: you having a hard time dealing with abandonment? Rejection actually happened,

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Speaker 4: and then as far as my career speaking, he said, hey, man,

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Speaker 4: I want you to come on a tour with me.

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Speaker 4: I went on the tour, but I still wasn't going

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Speaker 4: to get close to all the rest of the guys.

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Speaker 4: I had broken through with him just a little bit.

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Speaker 4: So we go on the tour, We're do our thing,

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Speaker 4: and I sit in the back, not talking because I

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Speaker 4: don't want to be involved emotionally again. That way. However,

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Speaker 4: we broke through. He's become a best friend. Over five years.

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Speaker 4: Now I have a much softer side. I was too hard,

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Speaker 4: and I think God did an amazing thing by bringing

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Speaker 4: him into my life. So now I don't have it.

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Speaker 4: I had what's called toxic masculinity, very toxic.

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Speaker 1: And break that down because somebody gonna get it and

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Speaker 1: they gonna create their own definition with toxic. But but

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Speaker 1: you know what, JT. I don't think it was really toxic.

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Speaker 1: I just think it was guarded because we both had

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Speaker 1: father wounds. Yeah, and when you've had father wounds, it's

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Speaker 1: hard to build mail to male friendships because when you

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Speaker 1: have not been fathered well, you're very guarded and you're

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Speaker 1: very defensive because there's a part of you that have

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Speaker 1: not had a very safe relationship with another man. So

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Speaker 1: for another man, and you know, like, you know, I

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Speaker 1: bought flowers and you know, I mean, I'm all the things,

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Speaker 1: but then the duality of that I'm a lion and

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Speaker 1: a lamb, and so he got to see that. But

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Speaker 1: I understood it. And it wasn't that I needed a friend.

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Speaker 1: I just like, there's just some people that you just

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Speaker 1: felt drawn to, and I think that's beautiful. That's a

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Speaker 1: great way to put it.

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Speaker 4: Lyon and lamb. I was all lyon, no lamb in sight.

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Speaker 4: So to actually start experiencing other men that were so

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Speaker 4: transparent that they could so show you the lamb, that

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Speaker 4: took time for me to adjust. So I wasn't going

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Speaker 4: to express how I felt. Bishop Jakes broke me from that.

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Speaker 4: He kept saying how do you feel? And I was

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Speaker 4: sending a strong arm emoji or I would send fire,

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Speaker 4: you know, and he says, I'm tired of that. Explain

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Speaker 4: to me what you feel. But I didn't have the language.

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Speaker 4: I didn't have the language to explain it. That's a

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Speaker 4: part of that toxicity as well, because if you can't

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Speaker 4: explain it, you throw signs okay. And so it took

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Speaker 4: me going through all of the therapy why I rejected

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Speaker 4: my father, why my father wasn't there, the terrible relationships

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Speaker 4: with my parents, the terrible relationships with my brothers and sisters,

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Speaker 4: all of the things that were wrong with me. I

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Speaker 4: started paying attention to the tension because the tension was

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Speaker 4: causing me to break. So if you don't pay attention

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Speaker 4: to the tension, you will pay for attention. And that's

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Speaker 4: what actually happened. So because I wasn't paying attention to

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Speaker 4: the tension, the tension started fracturing me. And not only

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Speaker 4: did it fracture me, it started fracturing the relationships around me.

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Speaker 4: And everybody knows what a Fraction's a fracture. It's a

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Speaker 4: break that you can't see, all right, it's a hairline fracture,

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Speaker 4: but there's a break there. And what ends up happening

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Speaker 4: is some kind of blow is going to create a

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Speaker 4: break to become visible to where you're going to have

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Speaker 4: to either cast it or break it completely so they

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Speaker 4: can reset it. And that's what happened to all of

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Speaker 4: the relationships that I was attached to.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't their fault. It was my fault.

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Speaker 4: Because I had allowed so much pressure, so much tension,

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Speaker 4: to come into my own personal life. It became difficult

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Speaker 4: for me to converse productively with other people, especially of

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Speaker 4: the man.

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Speaker 3: But what about when it's not your fault? Because I

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Speaker 3: agree with you, know what you said, doctor j about

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Speaker 3: the father woman. But that homeboy woman is real too. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's a real wom too, because when I love I

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Speaker 3: love her. I called you my brother, and then you

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Speaker 3: betray me in some way. It's just like damn, it's

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Speaker 3: hard to let people in.

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Speaker 4: I can't control what he does, but I can control

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Speaker 4: how I handle it. And that's what happened. I couldn't

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Speaker 4: control it. I was covering it, and I needed therapy

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Speaker 4: to deal with what happened between the two of us

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Speaker 4: the previous homie. And I think also to that JG

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Speaker 4: and then to what you said sharp like the same

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Speaker 4: experience that he had was a betrayal of a close friend.

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Speaker 4: I had the same thing, and it was so difficult

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Speaker 4: for me because I saw men as just being I

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Speaker 4: wouldn't say just a point of contact, but just almost

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Speaker 4: like you know, it's just a homeboard, a homeboy. But

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Speaker 4: for me to call your brother, that's it's like, that's

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Speaker 4: that's a different level of love. It's just like when

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Speaker 4: you tell somebody I love you, you know, I mean, that

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Speaker 4: changes your disposition toward them. That's why I don't throw

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Speaker 4: out I love you, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: And so because that's now, that's now a different level

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Speaker 1: of expression of my of my feelings towards you. And

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Speaker 1: I think for me that betrayal man, I was just like, dude,

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Speaker 1: how do you even because when you're in your thirties

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Speaker 1: and you start an agent, I felt what he felt like, Man,

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Speaker 1: how do you start to build friendship again? Because we

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Speaker 1: all know friendship takes time and then now on that

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Speaker 1: friendship also requires a level of vulnerability, and I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to be vulnerable.

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Speaker 4: Like that again. But I think for me, it's like this,

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Speaker 4: I had two of the same thing, two opposing things

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Speaker 4: happen at the same time. So I get betrayed by

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Speaker 4: this one guy that we've been boys for twenty something years.

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Speaker 4: Then I got this other guy that is trying to

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Speaker 4: befriend me, all right, and he is being one hundred

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Speaker 4: percent open, saying, hey, I don't want anything from you.

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Speaker 4: I just believe I'm supposed to be here for you,

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Speaker 4: all right. This is prior to him, and this guy's

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Speaker 4: pouring his heart out. But I don't have what I

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Speaker 4: need to give this guy. So it breaks this guy.

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Speaker 4: It breaks him so bad. To her, He's like, you

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Speaker 4: know what, man, I've given enough. So I got to

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Speaker 4: protect me. So when I felt like I was ready,

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Speaker 4: once I realized okay, I think I'm better now, I

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Speaker 4: tried to go back and repair that relationship and he

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Speaker 4: didn't receive me the way I thought he should receive me,

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Speaker 4: and I went back selfish again. I was like, hey, man,

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Speaker 4: I came to you. I'm apologizing. But then I realized

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Speaker 4: I hurt that guy even though I didn't have the language.

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Speaker 4: I didn't have everything to give to him, but I

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Speaker 4: learned it through him. He was a therapist. He's teaching me. He'sy,

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Speaker 4: hey man, you heard him. Now you got to go

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Speaker 4: through the process and walk that out. That's a part

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Speaker 4: of me understanding becoming more healthy, getting that toxicity out

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Speaker 4: of me, because if I hadn't learned the language. I

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Speaker 4: would have been ticked off at this dude said, Man,

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Speaker 4: I came to you, I tried to I said, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 4: I told you I didn't have a language. You can't

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Speaker 4: forgive me, But that's wrong. I got to give him

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Speaker 4: time to process. It is not his fault that I

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Speaker 4: didn't have what it took to give him what he needed.

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Speaker 4: So that's why I said, regardless of what the other

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Speaker 4: individual did, you got to fix you. If you don't

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Speaker 4: fix you, you can't help repair anything. It all starts

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Speaker 4: with you. You have to own the responsibility of what's

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Speaker 4: going on with you.

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Speaker 5: How do you What.

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Speaker 8: Does that process look like? Because I do the same thing,

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Speaker 8: I'm in the same boat. Like literally right now I have.

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Speaker 8: I've been betrayed by a friend at the friend at

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Speaker 8: the friend and that's fine. I'm getting all the sneaks

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Speaker 8: out the gud and that's cool, you know, because where

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Speaker 8: I'm going I can't take everybody, so that's fine. But

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Speaker 8: even in business, I don't trust nobody. That's that's my problem,

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Speaker 8: you know. And when somebody called me a sister, the

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Speaker 8: same thing, you know, I got friends called me sister,

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Speaker 8: whether it's friends in business, or whatever. You know, if

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Speaker 8: I call you my sister or my brother. Yeah, and

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Speaker 8: I feel like you do some somesh that will make

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Speaker 8: me sighe out of you. It's like, Yo, I don't

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Speaker 8: I don't know how to look at you. I don't

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Speaker 8: know how to continue to have you know, a level.

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Speaker 5: Of loyalty or a level of respect, you know what

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Speaker 5: I mean, or just even want to be around you.

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Speaker 5: It just gets weird.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 4: I got a question for you. Yeah, why do you

338
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Speaker 4: keep bringing that same type of person into your life

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Speaker 4: To even have to ask that question.

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Speaker 5: I don't know how they get in. They be sneaking in.

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Speaker 2: I don't be bringing.

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Speaker 1: You know. So I think I think I think we

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Speaker 1: all can agree, right, Like you know, me and Shaw

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Speaker 1: talk about this all the time, right, I mean, I

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Speaker 1: think we can all agree that as we are elevated,

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Speaker 1: and particularly when you are elevated in the public's eye,

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Speaker 1: it requires Like Jess, I remember when you first started

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Speaker 1: right just with the messine, you know what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: when you were just doing your thing. And I think

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Speaker 1: what happens is as God has elevated me, it has

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Speaker 1: required a level of sagaciousness, right, which is discernment that

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Speaker 1: I have to really operate in because now that you

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Speaker 1: at this place, everybody wants something. And one of the

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Speaker 1: things that Bishop told me, he said, You're going to

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Speaker 1: have to get accustomed to disappointing people that want to

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Speaker 1: be next to you. And so what I've had to

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Speaker 1: really look at him give attention to is why are

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Speaker 1: you here? You know, like if he would have never

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Speaker 1: responded in the way that was how long was that

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00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,920
Speaker 1: period of time you went silent on me? Three months?

361
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Speaker 1: Three months? And I would text him Lauren and no response,

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Speaker 1: But it didn't bother me. Char I'll text him sometimes

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Speaker 1: like none of that bothers me because I know, But

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Speaker 1: I don't go into that. I do. I don't go

365
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Speaker 1: into that because the genuineness of who I am as

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Speaker 1: a person is that whether you respond or not, I

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Speaker 1: just want you to know that I'm here and that

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Speaker 1: your thought of And I think we have too many

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Speaker 1: people now because the world has become very transactional, and

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Speaker 1: that if we're honest, most individuals' mental health is on edge.

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Speaker 1: Most people are just one decision away from moving into

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Speaker 1: a psychosis. And I think it just requires another level

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Speaker 1: of of of discernment and then also realizing what types

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Speaker 1: of people do I need it in this season? You're

375
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Speaker 1: married now, right, so the people that you need in

376
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Speaker 1: your life right now, it's not necessarily that they have

377
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,800
Speaker 1: to be married, but they have to be people that

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Speaker 1: have a level of authenticity, level of genuineness and wholeness,

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Speaker 1: lacking nothing, meaning that if I don't hear from you,

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Speaker 1: if I can't give you nothing, you're still here.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he said wholesome.

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Speaker 4: You're going to have to trust. You're going to have

383
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Speaker 4: to start trusting people and understand that a part of

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Speaker 4: trust it comes with being broken. I mean, it's that's

385
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Speaker 4: just a part of it.

386
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Speaker 3: But it's not that doctor, because I could, I agree

387
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Speaker 3: with the trust.

388
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Speaker 4: Got to be open to the fact that you may

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Speaker 4: get hurt. So protecting yourself, you're only hurting yourself because

390
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,439
Speaker 4: you could be protecting yourself from what's going to actually

391
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Speaker 4: heal you. Okay, So you could be the cause of

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Speaker 4: staying in the same cycle because you won't trust, and

393
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Speaker 4: so because you don't trust, you state you stay fractured. Okay,

394
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:21,119
Speaker 4: you got to trust people. That doesn't mean you have

395
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Speaker 4: to trust them at the same dimension. You know that

396
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 4: you don't have to trust me to take care of

397
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Speaker 4: your kids, you know, but you can do your work

398
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,120
Speaker 4: to make sure that. Okay, I'm going to use him

399
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Speaker 4: to fix my car. So how many people have how

400
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,359
Speaker 4: many cars have be fixed before? Do your work, do

401
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,280
Speaker 4: your due diligence like you do with everybody else, and

402
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 4: then you got to step back and trust the process.

403
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 4: But knowing the process may break down.

404
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,879
Speaker 3: Is that the same mindset is like not expecting you

405
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Speaker 3: from other people?

406
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 1: Absolutely?

407
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you I think a good friend of mine,

408
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 4: aching a Odal, told me divorce yourself from the results

409
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Speaker 4: and fall in love with the process.

410
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Speaker 7: It's good I didn't done that.

411
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:04,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's easy for you to say that until you

412
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 4: start doing so, you're going to always say that. Most

413
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 4: people say this, He's just said and done. Try it.

414
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Speaker 4: There's going to be lessons that you learn from being broken.

415
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,679
Speaker 4: There's going to be lessons that you learned from the

416
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:20,560
Speaker 4: actual relationship actually formulating. So he talked about the time

417
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Speaker 4: that I didn't respond to him two months. I think

418
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Speaker 4: it was I didn't really three three I didn't respond

419
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Speaker 4: to him. I didn't respond to him. Because here's the deal.

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Speaker 4: My answer is the same now, listeners, my answers the

421
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,159
Speaker 4: same I didn't have the language. I didn't have the

422
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,719
Speaker 4: language for what I was going through. How long were

423
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 4: you going to use that story? But that answer is

424
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Speaker 4: not going to keep working for you if you want

425
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Speaker 4: to live your best life.

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Speaker 1: But I think also I'm talking about me, but it

427
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Speaker 1: was valid because also you didn't really know what it was,

428
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Speaker 1: and you spelled trust T I m e is I

429
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:02,200
Speaker 1: used to really spell trust It's time the time I would.

430
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Speaker 1: I mean, I was okay with him going through his process,

431
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Speaker 1: and I think what broke him was this brother's not

432
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 1: going He's there because it wasn't contingent upon him responding.

433
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Speaker 1: And I think what most of us, it's always about

434
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,399
Speaker 1: what is the response because we live in such a

435
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:25,360
Speaker 1: If I text you, most people have anxiety from okay,

436
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,399
Speaker 1: they didn't text back. The job hasn't called yet, you

437
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 1: know what I mean? And so we we are, we are,

438
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 1: we are operating with this rapid response. You know, as

439
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 1: God began to expand me, I didn't realize, like just

440
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 1: sometimes I'm overwhelmed with text messages and I can't respond.

441
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,679
Speaker 1: And it's not that I'm leaving you on red because

442
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk to it it's like I'm

443
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 1: overwhelmed because it's like, man, I got to process what

444
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,120
Speaker 1: I need to say. Then I'm thinking about this email

445
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 1: and then my manager's like, hey, can you give me

446
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,399
Speaker 1: this publicist is saying can you send me that? So

447
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,600
Speaker 1: I had to realize is that I need to change

448
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:08,160
Speaker 1: my position even within myself, and to give myself grace

449
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: and man, I don't even have the words right now,

450
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 1: and being okay with that, and then being okay with

451
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 1: being perceived as oh, so you can't respond.

452
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, so you're right. That's that's me to see.

453
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 5: I don't trust you all. Y'all know too much. I'll

454
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 5: be thinking about the other person, like trying to think

455
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 5: for them. You can't.

456
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 1: It's exhausted. It's exhausted.

457
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be asking both of you all a questions, Right,

458
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:38,159
Speaker 3: can't time being illusion in a relationship? And what I

459
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,159
Speaker 3: mean by that is you could be with something. You

460
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,159
Speaker 3: can know somebody for years and years and years and

461
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 3: years and think you trust them, right, but then they

462
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 3: be the ones that betray you. But then you might

463
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,399
Speaker 3: meet somebody that you knew for a short period of

464
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 3: time and you feel more loyalty to that, to that individual.

465
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 4: Ooh, that's a that's that's a loaded question. That's a

466
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 4: loaded question because you can't effectively diagnose that statement without

467
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 4: hearing from the other individual. What is it that created

468
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 4: distrusting them? What is it that created them to pull

469
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 4: back from you? They may have found something on you

470
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 4: or in you, or with you that caused them to

471
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 4: pull away. So that's hard, that's hard. That's hard to

472
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 4: look at. And then with this new person, is it

473
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 4: a trauma bond? Are you connected to them because you've

474
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:30,400
Speaker 4: broken over there and they were able to supply something

475
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 4: to you. Because the keyword you used was feel feelings

476
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 4: they come and go. You may feel that way right

477
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 4: now in thirty days and in the thirty first day

478
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 4: you feel like you felt with the last person that changed,

479
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,920
Speaker 4: So we can't use that statement. I think at the

480
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 4: end of the day, when it comes to time, time

481
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 4: is what it is, whether you want to call it

482
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 4: an illusion or whether you want to call it reality,

483
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 4: is how you invested. Okay, what am I investing in

484
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 4: the moments of time and with the people that I

485
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:03,720
Speaker 4: believe deserves my time?

486
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,239
Speaker 1: So my question to you is, and I'll ask you

487
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 1: this question because look at where we are today. Yeah,

488
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 1: And to your point, shar it's like Lauren and you

489
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 1: can hop in because I would want to know your

490
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 1: thoughts and process on how you've navigated this space, because

491
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 1: there's people that was rocking with me, and I think

492
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 1: as I begin to do this, it's shifted, and I

493
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:32,360
Speaker 1: think the disloyalty was also if we're going to keep

494
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: it abuve some level of insecurity within themselves because most people,

495
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 1: if they're riding with you, most people's fears is that

496
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:41,639
Speaker 1: they want to be left behind.

497
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 7: A lot of people that if.

498
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 1: You become what I see the trajective, the trajectory that

499
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 1: I see of you, and I think that disloyalty comes

500
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 1: in because it's like, man, they've gotten there and nothing

501
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: has happened. For me. I've seen a lot of that,

502
00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:02,719
Speaker 1: and then I've seen what you're saying where people that

503
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 1: I've met through the expo that we've been locked in,

504
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because our missions aligned. And

505
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 1: I also think too, for the public, it's be open

506
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,439
Speaker 1: to levels of friendship shifting because your.

507
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 4: Life is shifting, right, Yeah, that's beautiful.

508
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 1: Like you have to be open because most people won't change,

509
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 1: and particularly if your life changed in a major way

510
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,360
Speaker 1: because they're always going to see you how they met

511
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,399
Speaker 1: you and how the world is coming to know you.

512
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 1: It's challenging for them because in their mind, I still

513
00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,040
Speaker 1: see your Lawrence from Dell State.

514
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 7: Yeah.

515
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 6: I think I've been blessed to have people that always

516
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 6: saw me, sometimes bigger than I saw myself. So as

517
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 6: things are going up for me, like you know, not

518
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 6: everything has changed. But I think the hardest thing I

519
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 6: had to learn was I can't call everybody about everything,

520
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 6: and when people take offense to that, I can't take

521
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 6: it personal. And sometimes I do realize that maybe there's

522
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 6: an insecurity and like you know, people are trying to

523
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 6: like figure out where where they are positioned.

524
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 7: In my life. Now it's like, well, why are you

525
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 7: doing this now?

526
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 6: You didn't do that a year ago when I had

527
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 6: time to do different things, or when I needed to

528
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:13,120
Speaker 6: call you more because at that season in my life

529
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:16,200
Speaker 6: it made more sense. So that has made me think

530
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 6: about different things and different people and like not disassociating fully,

531
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 6: but just like being very careful about when I bring

532
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,399
Speaker 6: those conversations those people into my life and where I

533
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,959
Speaker 6: bring them into and what I bring them around, just

534
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,360
Speaker 6: because I don't know how sure they are about themselves,

535
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 6: and I don't have time to.

536
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 7: Like, I literally mentally can't.

537
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 6: I'm I told you when you walked in here today

538
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 6: last night with the bet at eight pm. Normally I'm

539
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:40,440
Speaker 6: at bed at like twelve thirty one o'clock and I'm

540
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 6: back up at four or five because I'm doing so

541
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 6: much to prepare for here, I don't have time to

542
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,400
Speaker 6: figure out your insecurities in my.

543
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,400
Speaker 7: Own at the same time, you know what I'm saying.

544
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 6: So I've just had to learn how to like really prioritize,

545
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 6: realize that I can't take anything personal because people take

546
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 6: everything personal now, and you know the people that make

547
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 6: like there are certain people I call about certain things

548
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 6: now that if I were to call other people, not

549
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 6: that I love them less, you wouldn't even understand what

550
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 6: I'm talking about.

551
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 7: So I just can't do that.

552
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,440
Speaker 6: I also have been blessed to have like es Envy

553
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 6: and Charlemagne, so as that's happening, I can call them.

554
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 7: Yeah.

555
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 6: I do call him a lot, though, and be like, hey,

556
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 6: I can't spend as much time my mom and my

557
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 6: grandma right now, and it's breaking my heart, and they

558
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,439
Speaker 6: feel a way what do I do? I got family

559
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 6: members who are like, when you come home, you're so tired,

560
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 6: you don't want to spend time with us, but we

561
00:28:27,359 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 6: see you everywhere else. I got friends that you know,

562
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 6: I can't. I'm not texting back as much in the

563
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 6: group chat, you know, Yeah, but it's a part of it.

564
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 6: I'm lucky though, I do have good people around me

565
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 6: who kind of get it. But I think everybody, as

566
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 6: a human you want to make sure, oh am I

567
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:43,239
Speaker 6: still important to you?

568
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 7: You still love me? Like am I? And that's a

569
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 7: human thing?

570
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 1: Has that and I'm not And it's not deep, but like,

571
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 1: does it in some way? You know? Maybe I want

572
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 1: to say impact your mental health? But it does? Does

573
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 1: it weigh on you?

574
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 6: It does because you feel guilty. You feel like, am

575
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,479
Speaker 6: I leaving people behind? Do I think I'm better than

576
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:06,080
Speaker 6: people like you start second guessing things that you know

577
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 6: are not true about yourself. Like I know how I

578
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 6: was raised, I know what's important to me. I know

579
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 6: what my priorities are and all the things. But when

580
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 6: people you love and people that have been in your

581
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:19,240
Speaker 6: life and seeing you forever feel like I'm competing with

582
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 6: people that are just starting to see you now you

583
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 6: feel a sense of responsibility for that, And for me,

584
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 6: I've had to be like oftentimes I sit and be

585
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 6: like how much of this do I need to be

586
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 6: accountable for? And how much of this I can't I

587
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 6: have no control over? And that's tough. That's really really

588
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 6: tough because a lot of it if you don't have

589
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 6: control over, you can't control, Like literally there's nothing I

590
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 6: can do. So it's nothing that you feel like you're

591
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 6: breaking something that has been like your stability for your

592
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 6: whole life because of a moment that's happening. And then

593
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 6: you second guess that, like, well, if all this stops,

594
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 6: y'all even still gonna love me anymore? Because y'all feel

595
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 6: like I'm being new to y'all and I'm not being new.

596
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 6: I just I can't manage everything at one time, you know.

597
00:29:59,680 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 1: What I mean?

598
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,120
Speaker 7: I mean like that mentally weighs on you a lot.

599
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 4: That is so profound, man, Okay, because anybody that's achieved

600
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 4: anything is going to go through that. And if you

601
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 4: have a good support circle, so commendable for you, and

602
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 4: I would soak in it. I would soak in that

603
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 4: support circle, and then I would appreciate my support circle

604
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,600
Speaker 4: so that my support circle can continue to feed into me. Yeah,

605
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 4: because that other crew is going to always say what

606
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 4: they feel. They don't even have an under like you said,

607
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 4: they don't even have the words to understand. They don't

608
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 4: even have the motions to understand what you're going through,

609
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 4: how your life is on the rise, and the demand

610
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 4: for your life to be everywhere. But at the same time,

611
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 4: now they want you to still do what you used

612
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 4: to do and you can't do it. So you've got

613
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 4: to feed that circle that's feeding you so you can

614
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 4: constantly stay uplifted, because if you don't, eventually that crew

615
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 4: could possibly turn into that crew if you don't feed

616
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 4: them to make sure they understand what the journey is

617
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 4: like for you. So kudos for you for having the

618
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 4: circle that actually can still feed you what you need

619
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 4: to still feel normal, because as you become more successful,

620
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:13,160
Speaker 4: it seems like shots fire from everywhere and kind of

621
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 4: he and I were talking about it. When you have

622
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 4: to process publicly what you go through what should be privately,

623
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 4: it becomes so difficult and then that weighs so much

624
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 4: on you mentally, especially for pastors. That's why you see

625
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 4: so many pastors fall or commit suicide because it's difficult

626
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 4: to process publicly. Nobody wants to process public I don't

627
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 4: care what position you have in the world.

628
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 6: I have a question for you off of that. Recently,

629
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 6: everything that happened with you in a faith city. So

630
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 6: you were there and then they sent out a letter

631
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 6: that you will no longer be seenior pastor. That was

632
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 6: very public, especially because you know the church. They want

633
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 6: to know what happened. No one knows why that happened.

634
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 6: So two questions, I don't know if you can share

635
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 6: what actually happened, and then second question, you spoke about it.

636
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 6: How was processing that publicly?

637
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 4: What happened? We disagreed, were disagreed in mission. I didn't

638
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 4: do anything wrong, nothing illegal, but we disagreed and the

639
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 4: disagreement didn't allow us to go forward, so that relationship

640
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 4: was severed. Processing it has been difficult because it's public

641
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 4: and it hurts. I love those people. I love those people,

642
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 4: I love him, and trying to move forward is something

643
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 4: you have to do to live. I don't care what

644
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 4: the career is. And if you stay in a fracture,

645
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 4: you're going to break, You're going to crumble. So trying

646
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 4: to move forward with a cast when everyone is already determined,

647
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 4: predetermine what you've done and have absolutely no idea and

648
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 4: no information, no information. That's it's difficult. So trying to

649
00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 4: talk to your children, pick your children up and move anywhere,

650
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 4: no matter what the career is, to get them to

651
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:19,880
Speaker 4: trust you as a father. Hey, I made the right

652
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 4: decision to pick us up and move us across the

653
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 4: world and then have to turn to figure out how

654
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 4: we're going to make it. The pressure of this was

655
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 4: what it was. Now I got to figure out how

656
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 4: to make it what it is. It's difficult as a husband,

657
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 4: as a provider. Now do I trust in God one

658
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 4: hundred percent? I trust in all the skills that God

659
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 4: has given me, and He has opened up doors that

660
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 4: are just unbelievable for me. So processing it has been

661
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 4: I'm not going to say difficult, but it's been uneasy.

662
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 4: But through it all I still thank God. That's not

663
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,799
Speaker 4: that's not a church answer. That's my faith because I

664
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,600
Speaker 4: know all things work together for the good.

665
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 2: I wish you was here this weekend because you know

666
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 2: we got the mental health.

667
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,280
Speaker 1: Expot this weekend. Got called and yeah, my good.

668
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 3: Sister Debbie Brown came up with this, she wanted to

669
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:23,320
Speaker 3: do this panel called Reclaiming Faith Healing from Religious Trauma

670
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 3: and Pastor Call Lynton, doctor Teddy.

671
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:26,200
Speaker 1: Reeves are on it.

672
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 2: And I think it was crad I was up here

673
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 2: talking about church. Yes, it was cree right.

674
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 3: It's just like, man, what do you do when when

675
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 3: your trauma comes from your sanctuary, when that hurt comes

676
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 3: from that place, you go for salvation?

677
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 1: Man. I think one of the things that my father's

678
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:50,359
Speaker 1: passed in thirty five years walking alongside you know him. Uh.

679
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 1: You know, when you look at church, it's a hospital,

680
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,919
Speaker 1: and it's a hospital that has a lot of six

681
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 1: people who don't take their meads. And when you have

682
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,359
Speaker 1: people who don't take their meds, you have people who

683
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: don't understand how their behaviors, don't understand how their reaction

684
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 1: impacts those that are in the hospital as well. So

685
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 1: it's almost like you in one room and you're trying

686
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:16,839
Speaker 1: to get some rest because the doctors said you need

687
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 1: to rest, and you have somebody down here that is

688
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 1: having a breakdown because they just heard a diagnosis that

689
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 1: they can't change. And I think the unfortunate thing that

690
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 1: has happened is that a lot of churches have not

691
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: thought about mental health in the faith conversation. And I say,

692
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 1: you can't talk faith, you can't talk God, and omit

693
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:45,480
Speaker 1: mental health. When God made us, he made mind, body,

694
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 1: and spirit. Mental health is your social it's your emotional

695
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: and physical makeup. It's how we do life. I call

696
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 1: mental health life in motion. There is nowhere around it.

697
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,799
Speaker 1: And I think now you see in a turn some

698
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: passes are, you know, bringing in mental health professionals. Some

699
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:06,399
Speaker 1: pastors are bringing in clinicians and different things like that,

700
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,720
Speaker 1: because what I saw growing up is what you speak about.

701
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 1: I saw people that were embarrassed. I can see right

702
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 1: now this young girl when we were growing up who

703
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 1: got pregnant and they bring her before church, and I'm like,

704
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 1: all right, where's the guy? So you brought the girl

705
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 1: before church and that she's pregnant, but where's the guy? Right?

706
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: Takes two to tango, right. So now you have this

707
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:30,840
Speaker 1: young girl who grows up with this level of shame

708
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 1: and it's trauma because they brought her out before and

709
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: you have a lot of embarrassment. And so I feel

710
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:41,280
Speaker 1: that churches have focused on saving souls but not restoring minds. Wow,

711
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 1: you have to restore a person's mind. It's great that

712
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:47,879
Speaker 1: we're going to get their spirits saved, and you want

713
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 1: people to you know, go to heaven. But I think

714
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 1: it's important that we begin helping people on how to

715
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,760
Speaker 1: not just come to the altar and throw their hands

716
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 1: up and be you know, delivered, but how to walk

717
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 1: this thing out for their complete healing, because it's one

718
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 1: thing especially like like let's just take somebody who's dealt

719
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 1: with molestation, abandonment, rejection, and it's calls these unhealthy things. Yeah,

720
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 1: I pray for you, lay hands on you, put all

721
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 1: on you. You greases like greasy like a piece of chicken,

722
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 1: and you know what I'm saying. So but it's like

723
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 1: that now this person leaves and there's no support. And

724
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: the reason church hurt hurts so bad because people have

725
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 1: an expectation that I would be treated better in here

726
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 1: than I am out there. And it's just unfortunate, you

727
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 1: know that we you don't have so many people, particularly

728
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,880
Speaker 1: in the black culture. And religious trauma is a real thing,

729
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 1: is called RTS. Religious traumatic syndrome. It's a real diagnosis

730
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 1: in the DSM, and most of us are challenged with

731
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: it because we thought we would see God in the

732
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 1: very people who said, come as you are. Yeah.

733
00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, but let's make sure that we're clear. The church

734
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 4: is full of trauma. It is not absent of trauma.

735
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 4: The very church itself was founded on trauma. Okay, Jesus

736
00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 4: being beaten, that's traumatic. Being betrayed prior to being beaten,

737
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 4: that's traumatic. His disciples leaving him, it's traumatic. Okay, All

738
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 4: that is trauma. You die the most horrible death, crown

739
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:40,320
Speaker 4: of thorns, nails in your hands, in your feet, pierced

740
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:44,640
Speaker 4: in the side, bloody and naked. That's trauma. The whole

741
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:48,480
Speaker 4: thing is trauma. The twelve or the eleven that take

742
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:50,719
Speaker 4: off running to go back to doing what they were

743
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,919
Speaker 4: doing prior when they say that he's dead, they're dealing

744
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 4: with trauma. They're like, I'm going back fishing. Forget this,

745
00:38:56,120 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 4: I can't do this. Jesus comes back. There's so much

746
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:05,800
Speaker 4: trouble with them. They don't believe it, even though Jesus

747
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 4: told them I'm coming back. Trauma change their brain. See

748
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 4: the trauma, that's all trauma. Well, Jesus comes back, boom,

749
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 4: He restores Peter. So there's the restoration that the church

750
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 4: should have. So he restores them. Hey do you love me? Yeah,

751
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 4: fema sheep, you love me, Feed my sheep, you love me,

752
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 4: Feed my sheep. Boom, He restores him. He does his thing.

753
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 4: Jesus gets ready to leave. He say, look y'all go

754
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 4: wait on the power. Wait on the power. And then

755
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 4: they come out. So they get the power. They start

756
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 4: evangelizing the Book of Acts. They're doing airy thing. The

757
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:37,920
Speaker 4: church is built off of that. So it's got an

758
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 4: answer and it's got all these problems. So it's never

759
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 4: going to be a place that you're going to go

760
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 4: and it's absent of trauma or it's absent of the

761
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 4: things that you guys are talking about. I think the

762
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 4: issue is trying to find the fine balance of this

763
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 4: soul and spirit body balance when it comes to how

764
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,280
Speaker 4: we're giving that information. You got some churches that believe

765
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:09,800
Speaker 4: that Sunday morning is pure word driven. I'm going to

766
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 4: teach you, I'm going to disciple you spiritually. Then you

767
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 4: have some other churches that are little bit more free

768
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 4: and say hey, we're going to do mental health stuff

769
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 4: and therapy and fitness training on Sunday. There are other

770
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 4: people that don't like that. I ain't come to church

771
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 4: for that. I came to church for Genesis. I ain't

772
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 4: come to church for that, okay. And then you have

773
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 4: some churches that say we're gonna put together small groups

774
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 4: where you can come get this mental health. Then you

775
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 4: got other churches that say, look, we've hired ten therapists

776
00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 4: that are here. I think we have to go back

777
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:41,879
Speaker 4: to what I said earlier. You got to own your thing.

778
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 4: Something may have happened at the church, Okay, it's no

779
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 4: different than it happening right here in this company. But

780
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 4: you still got to own your thing. If this station,

781
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 4: a problem happens here, but you all still offer therapy.

782
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 4: It's still up to me as an employee to go

783
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 4: down to h R and say, listen, I need therapy.

784
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,439
Speaker 4: Now I gotta do. I gotta own that now.

785
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 2: I love your hospital analogy. I love everything that y'all saying.

786
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 3: But if you went to a hospital where you were

787
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,359
Speaker 3: hurt and practice, you probably wouldn't go back to that.

788
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:24,279
Speaker 1: Depending yeah, yeah, yeah, it depends though but you but

789
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,960
Speaker 1: me personally, I'm like, I'm not going back. However, I

790
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 1: would have to see that you are up to par

791
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:32,879
Speaker 1: I would have to go back.

792
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 4: I'm coming in I'm coming in like Superman. I'm coming

793
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 4: back like I'm coming in like Superman.

794
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 1: Hold on, because you said I wouldn't go back go

795
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 1: back to that institution, particularly, I wouldn't go back to Yeah,

796
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 1: but you're still going to another hospital. You don't got

797
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 1: enough church. They may hurt me over here.

798
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 4: At first Baptist. I'm going a second Baptist.

799
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 1: I'm not going to third Baptist because after that there's

800
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 1: too many fat I didn't change.

801
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,080
Speaker 4: Think it's very I think that we have to be

802
00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 4: careful about what you just said. You're not going back

803
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 4: to that same local entity, but you will continue to

804
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 4: go and see God and build your relationship at another institution.

805
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:17,400
Speaker 4: But you still need to do one thing before you transfer.

806
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 4: Go to therapy.

807
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 1: Now, when we say go to therapy, JT. Because we

808
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,399
Speaker 1: got some people that's going to say, well, I don't

809
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:30,960
Speaker 1: believe in therapy. And particularly for us, health care has

810
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: not been on our side. Mental health was not made

811
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,400
Speaker 1: for black folks. It was created for a wealthy white men.

812
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 1: And so what I tell people is that everyone is

813
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 1: not going to go to therapy, But there are experiences

814
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: that you can have that can be therapeutic, that can

815
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 1: encourage you on your journey because therapy, as we talked about,

816
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 1: it's scary. In fact, therapy causes such a disruption that

817
00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:02,360
Speaker 1: you feel worse after the sessions because they're breaking up stuff.

818
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:04,719
Speaker 1: They got you unpacking, you know what I'm saying. They

819
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 1: got you, They got you really thinking about things that

820
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 1: you have moved into the back of your mind and said,

821
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:12,879
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't want to deal with that.

822
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 1: And then and and and and if we're honest, there

823
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 1: is a pacity of clinicians right now that are not

824
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 1: I don't think and I tell this to every therapist.

825
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:28,200
Speaker 1: Every therapist should have a therapist because you cannot take

826
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:31,359
Speaker 1: and ingest all of this in from other people. You

827
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 1: have to go somewhere to process there. So if you

828
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 1: do go to therapy, make sure that you're a therapist,

829
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,320
Speaker 1: not just ethically, but make sure that they are sound

830
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,240
Speaker 1: even in their own practice and therapy. Finding a therapist,

831
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 1: just like dating, ask those questions do you have and

832
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 1: expertise in dealing with racial trauma? Have you work with

833
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 1: people who've been molested by the same sex? Like you

834
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 1: have to ask those questions because the worst thing that

835
00:43:57,280 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: I hate that I don't like rather is for someone

836
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:04,319
Speaker 1: to be open up and not closed properly. That's what

837
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,439
Speaker 1: you just said. You go and have surgery and these

838
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 1: joke who's leave something in you or they don't close

839
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,359
Speaker 1: you up properly. Now it's turning into an infection. Now

840
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: it's turning to gang green. Now all of a sudden,

841
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,360
Speaker 1: we got to move your whole liver because somebody mishandled

842
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 1: you properly.

843
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 6: I was gonna say, but okay, we're comparing it to

844
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 6: mal practice in the hospital. What I realized about hospitals

845
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 6: is a lot of it is trial and era and

846
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 6: a lot of it is per person.

847
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 1: Right, That's why it's called practice.

848
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 6: Yeah, practice right. So I say that to say, you

849
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,919
Speaker 6: can ask your therapists all those questions, but you don't

850
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:35,799
Speaker 6: know until you get with that therapist if they're going

851
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,399
Speaker 6: to close you black up properly, and then that makes

852
00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 6: people not want to do therapy sometimes after that happens,

853
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,560
Speaker 6: So it's like, what do you tell people?

854
00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:49,399
Speaker 1: Then, well, therapy, you know, it's a relationship. The effectiveness

855
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 1: of any therapist is determined by the quality of relationship

856
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:56,760
Speaker 1: that they build with the client. When I'm working with individuals,

857
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,720
Speaker 1: when I was in private practice, it would be about

858
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:05,240
Speaker 1: four sessions in before I start asking deep questions because

859
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 1: I'm mapping with them. I'm just talking to them because

860
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,799
Speaker 1: I want them to feel like we're having a conversation.

861
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,320
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to go in and all of a sudden,

862
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:13,680
Speaker 1: it's like, all of a sudden, you know what happened

863
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 1: to you as a kid? Like wait a minute, right,

864
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 1: Like you're moving too fast? You know. It's like, you know,

865
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:26,760
Speaker 1: at least you know, talk sweet to me and yeah, listen,

866
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 1: take me to the cheesecase faster something. And so I

867
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:33,760
Speaker 1: think too, it's a journey. You know. I've been saying

868
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 1: this since I, you know, have been in this space.

869
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 1: Healing is a journey, man, It's truly a journey, and

870
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,239
Speaker 1: it may take a few therapists for you to kind

871
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,680
Speaker 1: of work through. And I know that can be emotional exhausting.

872
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 1: And this is why I'm careful for anybody. Do not

873
00:45:47,680 --> 00:45:53,399
Speaker 1: go in divulging everything. Use wisdom. That is my thing

874
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: when you're going into a clinical session, because I've had

875
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:58,600
Speaker 1: people come to me and it's like, well, doctor, j

876
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 1: session turned into me helpen my therapist, you know. And

877
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,399
Speaker 1: so you're right, Lauren, it can be very it could

878
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,720
Speaker 1: be very scary, and then too, if you have somebody

879
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 1: who hasn't been processing. I tell every therapist you can

880
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 1: only take the client as deep as the work that

881
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 1: you've done internally within yourself, because it could be become

882
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 1: very pernicious, very dangerous for somebody to open up and

883
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:27,640
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden they leave feeling like, man,

884
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 1: what did I just do?

885
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 5: I just told you my business, and that is.

886
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 4: What I want to add to it. You're gonna be twenty,

887
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 4: you're gonna be twenty five, you're gonna be thirty, you're

888
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 4: gonna be thirty five, you're gonna be forty, you're gonna

889
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 4: be forty five, you're gonna be fifty, and you're gonna

890
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:49,759
Speaker 4: be fifty five. You gonna be sixty and you gotta

891
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 4: be sixty five. At what point are you going to

892
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:58,840
Speaker 4: say I matter enough, Yeah, to express myself.

893
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 1: M M.

894
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 4: That's good because you're gonna you're going to continue to

895
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 4: get old if you don't die. And do you have

896
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:08,840
Speaker 4: to ask you a question? How has life been working

897
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 4: for me? I'm the one that won't talk. I'm the

898
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:15,759
Speaker 4: one that won't sit down and actually get help, it's

899
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 4: not the therapist's fault, and it's not about fault. It's

900
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 4: about me giving me a try to be better because

901
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:28,799
Speaker 4: I deserve to be better. Yeah, and that process, it

902
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:31,799
Speaker 4: is what it is. It's not cookie cutter. Mine's not

903
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 4: gonna be what Jay's is not gonna be what Charlomagne

904
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:36,839
Speaker 4: is is. It's gonna be what it takes to get

905
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:38,719
Speaker 4: me to where I need to be. And you got

906
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:42,279
Speaker 4: to ask yourself the question, am I worth what it

907
00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 4: takes to get where I need to be? And where

908
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 4: I need to be? It's not where you are, it's

909
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 4: where I need to be.

910
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 3: You got to stop lying to yourself, right Like, at

911
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 3: some point you gotta be honest with who you know

912
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,239
Speaker 3: you are because we know each other. Yeah, you know

913
00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 3: yourself better than anybody. Got be honest with who you

914
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 3: are and what you're feeling. And I think one of

915
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:04,120
Speaker 3: the hardest things for men to say to other men

916
00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:07,320
Speaker 3: and just in general, Yo, that hurt my feelings?

917
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,160
Speaker 2: Are you hurt my feeling period?

918
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 4: Period? You know that's a good thing about to be

919
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 4: real hood right here?

920
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 3: I want to brain love hoodies, but that is hardy

921
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 3: the fight, so.

922
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 1: I would do the promotion for you, good brother, my

923
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 1: good brother, doctor Joe. I'm gonna let him talk about it,

924
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 1: but I'm excited because he's had to live this book

925
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: in real time. And I think this book it comes

926
00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:46,840
Speaker 1: out nover before before, and it's so powerful. So I

927
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 1: think it's so powerful because if it's going to be

928
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 1: a fight to find yourself, you know, you know, we've

929
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 1: been rocking for years and you know every time I share,

930
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:59,560
Speaker 1: you know, my story about surviving to suicide attempts, it

931
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:04,359
Speaker 1: was a fight because you know, we talked about when

932
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 1: even when Twitch passed, it was triggering to me. It's

933
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,319
Speaker 1: a fight to find yourself. Man.

934
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:12,439
Speaker 4: So this book it's gonna cost you something. It's gonna

935
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,399
Speaker 4: cost you something. That's why when you when we were there,

936
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 4: it was the perfect way for me to just bring

937
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:20,600
Speaker 4: it up. It costs to find you. It costs you,

938
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 4: It costs pride, it costs relationships, and you have to

939
00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,360
Speaker 4: ask yourself the question, am I willing to pay that

940
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:32,640
Speaker 4: price to find myself? And is it gonna be embarrassing? Probably?

941
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 4: Are there gonna be some things that come up that

942
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 4: you thought would never come up? Probably? But if you

943
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 4: think you're valuable enough to be who you know you're

944
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 4: supposed to be. It's worth the fight because most of

945
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 4: the time, in my life, it's all about what we do.

946
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 4: It's about what you do. What you do is what's

947
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 4: getting you paid, your performance, and so we become so

948
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 4: performance driven. Everything we do is based off performance. And

949
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:01,240
Speaker 4: so just like you just I said earlier, four o'clock

950
00:50:01,239 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 4: in the morning, eight o'clock at night, that's our lives

951
00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:04,840
Speaker 4: because we got to perform. We got to be on

952
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 4: an a game. Every time we get behind a microphone,

953
00:50:07,239 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 4: it doesn't matter. But there's no mic in your private life.

954
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 4: There's no mic with your emotions. There's no mics with

955
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:17,280
Speaker 4: how you love your mother, your children, you know your spouse,

956
00:50:17,520 --> 00:50:19,280
Speaker 4: And you got to figure out how do I fight

957
00:50:19,719 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 4: to just be me? And if I don't know who

958
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 4: I am, it becomes even harder because I got to

959
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:28,239
Speaker 4: dig through performance to get there. And once you dig

960
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 4: through all of the awards and dig through all of

961
00:50:31,080 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 4: the accolades, what's there? Who am I? At the core?

962
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 4: And if you can't say who you are without presenting

963
00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 4: what you do, it's a very cloudy picture. You have

964
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 4: no idea who you are. And I didn't find out

965
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 4: who I was until I was forty four years old

966
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:53,319
Speaker 4: and I said it on a public stage and other

967
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 4: men said, I can't believe you just did that. And

968
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:58,799
Speaker 4: I cried, what did you say? I don't know who

969
00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:01,959
Speaker 4: I am? And you know what, they said, We've seen

970
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,400
Speaker 4: you preach on stages all over the world with thousands

971
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 4: of people. You're all over the place. People are being blessed,

972
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 4: people are buying all your books. And I said, yeah,

973
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,959
Speaker 4: and I don't know who I am.

974
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 3: Doesn't that change all the time. When I started going

975
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,200
Speaker 3: to therapy in thirty six, I was the same way.

976
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,360
Speaker 3: I was like, damn, I thought I knew who I was,

977
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:22,800
Speaker 3: but I have no idea. But then like the older

978
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,719
Speaker 3: I get, Yeah, you evolve the more things change in

979
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 3: your life. You know, you grow as a father, you

980
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 3: grow as a husband, and you just get older and

981
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 3: you just like, man, who am I?

982
00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,439
Speaker 4: And it's normal and you have to continue to fight

983
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 4: to find who you are and lean into it that

984
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 4: it's actually okay, that this is a normal fight, and

985
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:43,680
Speaker 4: learn how to fight right. As one of the chapters

986
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:46,279
Speaker 4: in the book, fight right, because we fight wrong, We

987
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 4: fight wrong, we fight through you know, substance abuse, We

988
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 4: fight other people we fight with unhealthy practices, and when

989
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 4: you can learn how to fight right and actually say

990
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:59,440
Speaker 4: healthy things to yourself and to other people, you actually

991
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:02,560
Speaker 4: become a gold mind. Tell you you know what I mean,

992
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:04,319
Speaker 4: and you don't have to have other people to tell

993
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:07,839
Speaker 4: you that you're valuable. You realize that you really are

994
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:11,600
Speaker 4: an incredible person and that God loves you the way

995
00:52:11,640 --> 00:52:13,879
Speaker 4: you are. I think it's incredible thought.

996
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,240
Speaker 2: That was Judge Matthews front.

997
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 3: Is this first chapter why we don't believe what God

998
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,120
Speaker 3: says about us?

999
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 4: Well, he loves you, He loves you. And if you

1000
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,160
Speaker 4: can get to the point that He actually loves you

1001
00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 4: and you're not waiting on you to say it and

1002
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 4: you to say it, and you to say it, and

1003
00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:45,560
Speaker 4: you to say it, then I can emerge from ashes

1004
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 4: Man because I know that He actually loves me. When

1005
00:52:49,120 --> 00:52:51,320
Speaker 4: Jesus gets ready to get baptized by John the Baptist,

1006
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:54,920
Speaker 4: what happens. He gets baptized and God says, this is

1007
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:59,319
Speaker 4: my bee love son in whom I'm well pleased. That's

1008
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:01,680
Speaker 4: all he needed to was his father.

1009
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 1: Say I love him, I love him, and that val

1010
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:08,360
Speaker 1: him validated everything, because next thing he does, he goes

1011
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:11,440
Speaker 1: into the wilderness and the devil was something if you

1012
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 1: do this, if you do that. If he didn't have

1013
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,360
Speaker 1: to do any of that, because he was already loved

1014
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:18,279
Speaker 1: prior to going into what he was getting ready to

1015
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 1: battle for. So we just got to learn that, Hey,

1016
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 1: he loves me like I am, broken, busted, disgusted. That's

1017
00:53:25,320 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 1: the foundation of everything.

1018
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:30,359
Speaker 4: He loves me. And if I can start there, man,

1019
00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 4: you can rise through anything. But it's all about you

1020
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,319
Speaker 4: actually being truthful to yourself and say, you know what,

1021
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,480
Speaker 4: I'm gonna come to you like I am because you

1022
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:39,839
Speaker 4: actually love me like I am.

1023
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:41,720
Speaker 2: They'll keep you from having a podcast.

1024
00:53:42,320 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah yeah. And I think when you when

1025
00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:48,640
Speaker 1: you embrace that, man, that that love, uh, that there

1026
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:53,319
Speaker 1: is an assurance that you have within self that you're

1027
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 1: not waiting for something to happen, because oftentimes we move

1028
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:02,319
Speaker 1: with God performing a wave. Well, if I do good,

1029
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:05,400
Speaker 1: I can accept this love, and if I do well,

1030
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 1: I can get someone this blessing. And I think that

1031
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,960
Speaker 1: chapter is good, man, because basically what you're saying, if

1032
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:15,200
Speaker 1: you did nothing else beyond just being you, his love

1033
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 1: is not changing for you.

1034
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 4: Here's the beauty of it, which is when I made

1035
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:22,680
Speaker 4: that statement on stage. I went with him on a

1036
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 4: trip and we had been going around for I think

1037
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:28,360
Speaker 4: two years, and we had went back around to Columbus, Ohio.

1038
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:30,640
Speaker 4: And so when we go out on stage, we have

1039
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 4: this Hey, you know, we're gonna start this way, We're

1040
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:34,839
Speaker 4: gonna go this way, We're gonna segue it this way. Hey, Joe,

1041
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:36,600
Speaker 4: you take it here. That's kind of how we always

1042
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:38,840
Speaker 4: hit it. So when it got time for me to

1043
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:41,680
Speaker 4: tell this particular story, kind of how we always rotate,

1044
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:44,439
Speaker 4: I stopped dead in the middle of the story. I said, Man,

1045
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,360
Speaker 4: I'm not telling this story no more. And all of

1046
00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 4: the guys is looking like it's about eight hundred men

1047
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:52,760
Speaker 4: in the room, black men. I'm not telling this story

1048
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 4: no more. I said, Man, I'm sorry, and.

1049
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 1: Like j T.

1050
00:54:56,120 --> 00:55:00,200
Speaker 4: Go ahead, He's like JG go on to speak. I said,

1051
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 4: I'm tired of telling this story because I'm having to

1052
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:06,240
Speaker 4: relive this story every time I tell you this story.

1053
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,520
Speaker 4: And so I decided that moment, I said, I'm gonna

1054
00:55:09,520 --> 00:55:12,799
Speaker 4: tell y'all a new story. I said, And it's not

1055
00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:15,520
Speaker 4: a story that hasn't happened yet. It's the story I

1056
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 4: want to see. And when I said what I wanted

1057
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:20,279
Speaker 4: to see. It wasn't a dry eye in.

1058
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:23,040
Speaker 1: The room because I was going through the opposite of

1059
00:55:23,080 --> 00:55:23,800
Speaker 1: what I was saying.

1060
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:28,759
Speaker 4: That's how I end that book. Write a new story.

1061
00:55:29,239 --> 00:55:33,439
Speaker 4: You want to get healthy mentally, write your story, create

1062
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:35,560
Speaker 4: a new narrative. You don't have to keep replaying the

1063
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:37,440
Speaker 4: same thing that happened to you. And I know it

1064
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:39,960
Speaker 4: was terrible, and I know it costs, and I know

1065
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:42,200
Speaker 4: it hurt. But every time you tell it, you feel

1066
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:45,319
Speaker 4: the costs again, you feel the terror again, you feel

1067
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:48,359
Speaker 4: the pain again, and it becomes so cyclical. Well, why

1068
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 4: not write what you want? Why not see what you

1069
00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 4: want to see? And that's what's going to happen when

1070
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:57,280
Speaker 4: you fight to find yourself, because you control the narrative

1071
00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:58,600
Speaker 4: and you can be who you want to be. You

1072
00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:00,279
Speaker 4: can make what you want to make, you can marry

1073
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 4: who you want to marry, you can do what you

1074
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 4: want to do. That's the kind of power that you

1075
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:08,240
Speaker 4: actually possess if you can wake up to it and realize.

1076
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:12,880
Speaker 3: Was a real preacher you preorder to fight to find yourself,

1077
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:15,279
Speaker 3: moving from uncertain to unstoppable right now to be in

1078
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 3: bookstores November fourth, This was a powerful conversation to have

1079
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:20,279
Speaker 3: on World Mental Health Day.

1080
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:23,279
Speaker 1: Man. Yeah, man, and always brother. You know I love

1081
00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:25,239
Speaker 1: love you man to the moon and back. Man and

1082
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 1: always man. We've been rocking for the past six for

1083
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:33,000
Speaker 1: five years, we've been doing the expo. Man. Uh, you know,

1084
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:34,840
Speaker 1: I just got to share this. Man. One of his

1085
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:38,319
Speaker 1: chapters is about our friendship, man, And and I would say,

1086
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:40,959
Speaker 1: get some people in your life, man, that just see

1087
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:43,880
Speaker 1: you like he was coming up here to support me

1088
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:48,400
Speaker 1: today and our friendship has been on display, and so

1089
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:52,440
Speaker 1: many men are watching me just staying with him, even

1090
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 1: in his a situation. But just the beauty of man.

1091
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 1: You know, this blesses me, my dog, to see the world,

1092
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,000
Speaker 1: get to hear him this morning on the breakfast club,

1093
00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 1: you know, and to be amongst y'all. Man. So this

1094
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 1: is just beautiful. And this is what mental health really is,

1095
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:12,880
Speaker 1: because when you start to think better, you begin to

1096
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:15,880
Speaker 1: live better, and you start to attract better. You know

1097
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 1: what I mean.

1098
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 4: Let me say this please. I came to support him.

1099
00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:23,880
Speaker 4: He's a brother that supports me and everything that I do.

1100
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 4: And I wanted to be here for him. And I

1101
00:57:26,480 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 4: was sitting in there and then you walk in the

1102
00:57:27,920 --> 00:57:29,480
Speaker 4: room and just say y'all want to do it together

1103
00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:32,080
Speaker 4: and walked off. They didn't say nothing else, didn't wait

1104
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 4: for me to respond, and nothing. And I'm like, he

1105
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:39,440
Speaker 4: looked at me, say you want to do it. I'm like, yeah,

1106
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 4: he said, come on. And so I'm saying that to

1107
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:46,360
Speaker 4: say this. You position yourself with good people. You said

1108
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 4: something earlier. I don't look for him to give me anything.

1109
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:52,720
Speaker 4: I'm here for him. I don't and it's vice versa.

1110
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,600
Speaker 4: And because we're friends and we've positioned ourselves to support

1111
00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:58,720
Speaker 4: each other, we open up a new business together.

1112
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:00,880
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean mental.

1113
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:04,920
Speaker 5: Health practice congratulation than things.

1114
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 4: Just have been happening for us. So I don't take

1115
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 4: it lightly. Thank you for the opportunity to come share

1116
00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 4: in your space. And it's a blessing. Man, thank you,

1117
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 4: thank you very much.

1118
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 3: You can see doctor j He'll be at the Mental

1119
00:58:14,800 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 3: Wealth Expo tomorrow in Newark, New Jersey at the Joel

1120
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,000
Speaker 3: and Diane Bloom Wellness and Events Center.

1121
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:21,800
Speaker 2: I wish doctor Tubman was there too.

1122
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 4: Man, he got a geograph got. I don't know if

1123
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:28,920
Speaker 4: there's streaming or not. I know it's a conference in

1124
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 4: Carolina for Bishop Michael Blue tomorrow night somewhere in South Carolina.

1125
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 4: I think Columbia, South Carolina. I think that's correct.

1126
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:37,520
Speaker 1: Is that right?

1127
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:40,520
Speaker 4: Columbia South Carolina. I'll be with him tomorrow night. What

1128
00:58:40,600 --> 00:58:41,280
Speaker 4: time is your expo?

1129
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 2: Eleven to four on Saturday.

1130
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have to do a wellness event in Florida,

1131
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 4: which would be mental health and physical fitness and everything

1132
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:52,680
Speaker 4: else that you can imagine.

1133
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 5: Please go to Florida. They need all the wellness.

1134
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:01,920
Speaker 1: Yes, y'all be reporting every day Florida. Them people different. Bro,

1135
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 1: come on.

1136
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 3: Back, but you know, the work not just this weekend.

1137
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,000
Speaker 3: I mean, this work is continuous. I do want to

1138
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:10,800
Speaker 3: ask about the Brain Love.

1139
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. So this is my good brother Archie Man down

1140
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 1: in Atlanta, Georgia. This brand is in Bloomingdale's in Atlanta.

1141
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:23,360
Speaker 1: Brain Love. He created this, uh this around mental health

1142
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:26,439
Speaker 1: and to getting a healthy brain and uh the work

1143
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,120
Speaker 1: that he's doing. Me and him partner uh to come

1144
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 1: together and this this collection is in Bloomingdale. I mean,

1145
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:37,320
Speaker 1: y'all see the material and so he's also told me

1146
00:59:37,400 --> 00:59:39,680
Speaker 1: I spoke to him, he's also gonna send everybody here gear.

1147
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,720
Speaker 1: So you guys a rock So yeah, and uh, the

1148
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:45,919
Speaker 1: materials is amazing and really his His message is really

1149
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,439
Speaker 1: to get us a healthier brain. And then you see

1150
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 1: the message on the back of you know, telling you know,

1151
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 1: to tell ourselves that we love ourselves. And for black people, listen, man,

1152
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:58,040
Speaker 1: our mental health is everything. And particularly in this time

1153
00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 1: politically and and in this time that we're in that

1154
01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:05,120
Speaker 1: so much is attacking us. Take care of your mind.

1155
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 1: Be careful of what you consume. Too much consumption of

1156
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:12,120
Speaker 1: this negativity with the news. I mean, every day we

1157
01:00:12,280 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 1: it's something with this clown. You know, y'all know what

1158
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 1: the clown talking about. But but man, that because this

1159
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 1: crash out era that we're seeing right now is just overwhelming.

1160
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:24,960
Speaker 1: People are just losing it. So encourage everybody, man, keep

1161
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 1: your brain healthy.

1162
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:29,160
Speaker 3: That's right, is doctor j Bartnett, Doctor Joel tell mean,

1163
01:00:29,200 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 3: thank you, brothers.

1164
01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:30,040
Speaker 1: Man.

1165
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 2: The Breakfast Club.

1166
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 3: Every day a week ago, clicks up the Breakfast Club.

1167
01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:38,200
Speaker 2: Finish y'all done.