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Speaker 1: First day of follow Up powered by the Advocates Injury

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Speaker 1: Attorneys online at advocateslaw dot com.

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Speaker 2: Cole is on the phone today for a first day

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Speaker 2: follow up and he's getting ghosted by a woman named Aria.

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Speaker 2: So in a few minutes we'll call her and see

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Speaker 2: if she'll tell us why she's ghosting him and maybe

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Speaker 2: get him a second date. But first, Cole, how long

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Speaker 2: has it been since he talked to Aria?

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Speaker 3: Hey, guys, uh, it's been a few weeks.

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Speaker 4: Enough to wear.

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Speaker 3: You know, something's up for sure, and I'd like to

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Speaker 3: know what's going on.

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Speaker 5: Are you still thinking you like Aria or you just

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Speaker 5: want to know what's up?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: I mean I definitely like her. I thought there was

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Speaker 3: a vibe and you know, it was a good night.

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Speaker 3: I just I also don't know what what like the

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Speaker 3: do come to this time? You know? I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Let's come sort to the dog.

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Speaker 5: Why don't you just tell us about the date? Then?

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Speaker 3: Sure? Yeah. So we started at this wine bar and

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Speaker 3: it wasn't one of those pretentious places like it's actually

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Speaker 3: was really super chill and viby. It had string whites

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Speaker 3: on the ceiling and gels and books everywhere, and this

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Speaker 3: little stage in the corner, and there was actually a

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Speaker 3: guy there playing acoustic covers, which is perfect because music

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Speaker 3: is my kind of thing. That's sort of what I do.

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Speaker 3: And so anyway, we ordered a flight and Aria didn't

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Speaker 3: pretend to know all the wine turns, which is cute

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Speaker 3: and fun, and she took a sip and said, you know,

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Speaker 3: this one tastes like sadness, and I started laughing because

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Speaker 3: that's funny, and you know, she's funny like that, doesn't

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Speaker 3: try too hard, and it was just like a free

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Speaker 3: phone sort of vibe. Then we get into like one

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Speaker 3: of those conversations when you kind of don't expect on

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Speaker 3: a first date, you know. We talked about our parents,

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Speaker 3: about how we grew up, what we want out of

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Speaker 3: our life, you know, kind of deep stuff. She told

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Speaker 3: me about traveling solo and how she's addicted to books

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Speaker 3: she can't finish, and I admitted I still write songs

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Speaker 3: in my notebook like a teenager because I'm a musician

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Speaker 3: and didn't learn about that. The bark down was book

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Speaker 3: clothing tabs, and neither of us pretty much was moving,

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Speaker 3: like we were just kind of like just gazing, you know,

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Speaker 3: kept talking to each other, leaning in like there was

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Speaker 3: no one around us, the room had disappeared. There was

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Speaker 3: really sweet. Can this way of looking at me where

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Speaker 3: you know, I felt seen? You know, you don't get

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Speaker 3: back too often, you know, if you're got an you

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Speaker 3: guys date, but like it's it's not easy out there.

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Speaker 5: Do you think she felt the same way?

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Speaker 4: I think so for sure.

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Speaker 3: There was an energy there. If she wasn't liking it

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Speaker 3: or feeling I assumed she would have sort of say

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna get away, I'm gonna get going. She didn't

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Speaker 3: say that at all. Yeah, you know she's different, she's sharp,

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Speaker 3: you know, she challenges me, and but she also has

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Speaker 3: like this amazing stuffs died to her. The way she

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Speaker 3: listened there wasn't just small talk, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 3: it was I don't know, it just felt.

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Speaker 2: Real, you like her. What could have gone wrong?

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Speaker 3: Then it's a great question. I don't know. At the

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Speaker 3: end of at the end of the day, she said,

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Speaker 3: she suggested, I don't know, maybe heading back to my place,

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Speaker 3: which okay, I wanted to, but she had a few

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Speaker 3: glasses in the wine and I didn't want anything to

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Speaker 3: happen when we were both totally clear headed. You know what,

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Speaker 3: we weren't very much like we weren't. We had a

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Speaker 3: few doings, so we're like, we were just kind of

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Speaker 3: buzzing and had a nice time. My mom raised me

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Speaker 3: to respect women, So for me, I called it a

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Speaker 3: night right there. You know, So maybe I do, or

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Speaker 3: maybe she thinks I'm not really into her by doing that,

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Speaker 3: or she's embarrassed that I said no, I don't know.

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Speaker 6: Women don't take it very well when they get turned

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Speaker 6: down after asserting themselves.

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Speaker 5: Kind of like, but we do love a respectful man.

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Speaker 5: We do love a respectful man, so don't change that.

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Speaker 5: But if she didn't understand that's what was happening, did.

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Speaker 2: You explain it to her, did you say sorry, I'm

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Speaker 2: a respectful man.

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Speaker 4: I did say that. I text her the next day to.

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Speaker 3: Sea how she would be on and that's when she

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Speaker 3: didn't respond. And I want her to know how much

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Speaker 3: the night meant to me. But after a couple more texts,

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Speaker 3: they haven't heard a peep, and so.

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Speaker 5: I wonder if she feels like she embarrassed herself.

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Speaker 2: All right, well, we'll see if we can figure it

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Speaker 2: out for you. Then we'll play a song, come back,

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Speaker 2: and then call her and see if sherselves why she's

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Speaker 2: ghosting you, and maybe get to a second date. Okay,

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Speaker 2: that's great. Thanks, Okay, we'll get your first day fall

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Speaker 2: up next. Right in the middle of your first date

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Speaker 2: follow up if you're just joining us, Cole is on

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Speaker 2: the phone and Cole is getting ghosted by Aria. So

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Speaker 2: we're about to call her and see if she'll tell

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Speaker 2: us why she's ghosting him and maybe get him a

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Speaker 2: second date. But first, Cole, why don't you break down

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Speaker 2: your date again for us one more time? Real quick?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so real quick. I mean, we went to this

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Speaker 3: really cool wine bar. We were viving. We spent a

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Speaker 3: couple hours there, you know, the Barker brothers our check.

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Speaker 3: We were still sort of gazing at each other, just

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Speaker 3: hawing a great time, not in a rush to get

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Speaker 3: out of there, and then she sort of suggested head

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Speaker 3: back to her plate, but you know, we would drink

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Speaker 3: in I want to be respectful, and I said, now

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Speaker 3: that's okay, I'm gonna call it a night here. And

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Speaker 3: so to me, maybe thinks she thinks I'm not into her,

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Speaker 3: or she's embarrassed or whatever. But I text her the

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Speaker 3: day after and she'd respond and it's been like ghost

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Speaker 3: town ever since.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, are you ready for us to call her

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Speaker 2: and see if she'll tell us?

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Speaker 1: Why?

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Speaker 2: Yes? All right, here we go. Hello, Hi, man speak

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Speaker 2: to Aria please?

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Speaker 4: Yes, this is she.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Aria, how are you? This is a radio show.

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Speaker 2: It's called The Jebel Show.

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Speaker 5: Hi, Aria, my name is Nina.

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Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Victoria, and my name is Jubal. How are you.

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Speaker 4: I'm a little confused.

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Speaker 2: It's a radio show. It's called The Jubile Show. Have

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Speaker 2: you ever listened to it?

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Speaker 4: I think I feel like I've heard of it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, Well, we do a segment on the show

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Speaker 2: that's called the first Date follow Up. That's where if

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Speaker 2: you go on a date with someone and you ghost them,

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Speaker 2: that person can email us to ask you why you're

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Speaker 2: ghosting them. And we got an email about you from somebody?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, any idea ghost somebody?

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Speaker 4: Is it cool?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: From Yeah? Do you mind telling us?

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Speaker 3: Why?

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Speaker 4: Sure?

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Speaker 1: This is so strange. He sent me a song I

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Speaker 1: felt like was a trap. He like wrote me a

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Speaker 1: whole song about how he felt seeing me for the

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Speaker 1: very first time, and he told you that we've been

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Speaker 1: on one day, right, Yeah, it was way too much.

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Speaker 1: It's like very loved bombing, saying all the right things,

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Speaker 1: like everything that you should say to get someone to

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Speaker 1: fall fast, and it just felt so manipulative.

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Speaker 4: It felt so love bomby.

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Speaker 6: You didn't think it was sweet, but somebody wrote you

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Speaker 6: a song after meeting you.

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Speaker 4: Okay, let me hold on, let me pull this up

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Speaker 4: for you for a second. It was weird that he

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Speaker 4: wrote for me. Okay, your laugh lit the room like

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Speaker 4: a spark in the night.

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Speaker 1: One glass of red wine and everything felt right. I

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Speaker 1: don't need forever to know what I've found with you, Ariya.

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Speaker 1: My feet never touched the ground. Fee that's so love

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Speaker 1: bombing and kind of just like icky, Okay, that's insane.

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Speaker 4: After like a couple hours together, he.

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Speaker 6: Sounds like an artist, like he was just inspired by you.

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Speaker 6: Have you been loved bomb before?

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Speaker 5: Aria?

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Speaker 6: Do you feel like you're cautious about that type of

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Speaker 6: behavior for a reason.

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Speaker 1: I've definitely been loved bomb before, and so I know

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Speaker 1: I'm very cautious. But I think I'm cautious for a

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Speaker 1: reason because I think it's so easy to fall for

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Speaker 1: love bombing, because it just feels good and it feels

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Speaker 1: like without seeming like a self obsessed.

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Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, of course you'd like me.

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Speaker 1: Of course I'm really great, you know, like, but you know,

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Speaker 1: I think it was like it was very strong, very

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Speaker 1: like head over here, my feet never touched the ground,

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Speaker 1: like the good first date.

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Speaker 4: But damn.

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Speaker 5: Your money.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, can I jump in on the phone

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Speaker 2: listening and wants to talk to you?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god?

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Speaker 3: Song?

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Speaker 2: What hey?

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Speaker 3: That the song was me being honest. My mom raised

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Speaker 3: me to believe women are goddesses, Like I don't say

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Speaker 3: that stuff.

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Speaker 1: You're doing it right now though, Like you're saying exactly

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Speaker 1: what I'm supposed to want to hear to like make

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Speaker 1: me think that your like head over heels crazy about

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Speaker 1: me and.

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Speaker 4: Now yeah, so wait, so treating.

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Speaker 3: You with respect is a problem. But I didn't take

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Speaker 3: you home because I didn't want to cross the line.

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Speaker 3: That's not being you know, if you just this basic decency.

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Speaker 1: I thought, well, it's not just you think that like

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Speaker 1: like makes you this saintly person. I just suggested that

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Speaker 1: we go back to yours because honestly, it was like,

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Speaker 1: in the moment, it felt right. I felt like continuing

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Speaker 1: the night. But that's just physical cool, that's not like love,

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Speaker 1: that's not like love at first sight and this what

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Speaker 1: you did with this song, it's so loaded. It's like

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Speaker 1: so feelings heavy.

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Speaker 4: Does that make sense?

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Speaker 3: I mean yeah, I don't. Someone hurt you obviously, and

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Speaker 3: someone someone must have think a love song is turning

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Speaker 3: you in a different direction or something like, That's not

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Speaker 3: what this was about. Like this is me being open,

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Speaker 3: in kind and vulnerable.

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Speaker 4: Well, guys, I read you the short burden. I read

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Speaker 4: you verse one.

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Speaker 6: Do you think you would have been more comfortable if

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Speaker 6: he dedicated a song to you that already exists versus

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Speaker 6: like writing one.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, like maybe write the song, but then

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Speaker 4: maybe don't.

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Speaker 1: Like give it to me until maybe we've seen each

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Speaker 1: other a few more times. And it's like, I have

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Speaker 1: to confess I wrote this song about the way that

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Speaker 1: I felt about you after our first date, Like.

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Speaker 4: That would have idea I would have been so romantic.

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Speaker 3: Then let me prove that, let me prove not all

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Speaker 3: men are the same. Let me I'm not asking for

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Speaker 3: forever here, I just want a second date. No songs

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Speaker 3: this time, just us.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, you know, just did it again?

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Speaker 2: Would you like to go within? We'll pay for it.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I like to hear that? Are you?

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Speaker 4: Oh God, you just don't quit? But can you hear

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Speaker 4: the way? And I'm it's not even your fault, like

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Speaker 4: you're an artist, I get it. I'm not happy forever.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that if he can kind of like

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Speaker 1: just dial it back a little bit and not be

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Speaker 1: so acting poetic, I could.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you're you're asking me to change like who

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Speaker 3: I am. You're asking me to change this core value

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Speaker 3: of who I am. I can't do that, you know

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Speaker 3: what I'm saying, This is who I am. I mean, Look,

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Speaker 3: here's the thing. If I'm into you, then I'm into you,

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Speaker 3: and I'm not going to be bashful about it.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to let you know.

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Speaker 3: You know. And we had a moment that night and

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Speaker 3: it was sweet, it was tender, it was time. You know.

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to go home with you obviously, I

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Speaker 3: want to be respectful and I don't you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean, like, this isn't what a gentleman does. And

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Speaker 3: I think your smile is a good sense and the

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Speaker 3: sunsets for that thing is beamon and I you know,

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Speaker 3: there's something here that make me pull out this poetry

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Speaker 3: and motion type stuff and you should be here you

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Speaker 3: should know about it, right, I.

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Speaker 4: Mean, I think that this is who he is through

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Speaker 4: and through.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to not try to wonder if you know,

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Speaker 1: had you sent that exact song to another girl and

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Speaker 1: swapped out the name is just a move, but like

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Speaker 1: it just feels so performative, but maybe it's genuine.

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Speaker 3: I've written songs, but this one is specifically for you.

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Speaker 3: This isn't for anybody else. This is what inspired me

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Speaker 3: to write. I shared it with you. I'm not your

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Speaker 3: typical you know, musician you see on the corner of

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Speaker 3: the street or a play at the bar. This is

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Speaker 3: something wholesome and I don't know how else to prove

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Speaker 3: with you. But let me go it again. Let's try

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Speaker 3: it again. Let's go to a second date. And I'm

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Speaker 3: not going to bring my guitar. Jesus is real at

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Speaker 3: least given a chance, What do you have to lose?

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Speaker 3: These guys are gonna pay for work.

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Speaker 1: Come on, sure, yeah, you can just kind of get

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Speaker 1: to know each other on some real on a real level.

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Speaker 1: No guitar, no notebooks, don't write a poet and epic

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Speaker 1: poem about you know, my parking skills.

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Speaker 3: I would like that.

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Speaker 2: Congratulations The day.

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Speaker 3: Amazing, amazing, this is this actually what was worth it?

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Speaker 3: Thank you guys, it's good and Aria, this is this

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Speaker 3: is wonderful. I'm excited to see you again. And you

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Speaker 3: know there is no flower in this world that is

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Speaker 3: as budding as you are. Just know that.

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Speaker 4: Oh wow wow Jubile's first day follow up