WEBVTT - Judd Apatow and Eric Fischl

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<v Speaker 1>This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the thing,

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<v Speaker 1>My chance to talk with artists, policy makers, and performers,

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<v Speaker 1>to hear their stories. What inspired their creations, what decisions

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<v Speaker 1>change their careers, what relationships influenced their work. I look

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<v Speaker 1>at every movie as a letter to myself, telling me

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<v Speaker 1>something that I need to know about how to live

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<v Speaker 1>my life. And I'm I'm only on some level making

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<v Speaker 1>these movies to say, Judd, pay attention, Judd, live in

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<v Speaker 1>the moment. She's actually my greatest, most clear scene critic,

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<v Speaker 1>because she your most prevalent subject. If you painted her

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<v Speaker 1>more than any other person. Yes, I've painted her in

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<v Speaker 1>in disguised ways, and I've painted her in you know

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<v Speaker 1>ways where you can see it's her. Artists often use

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<v Speaker 1>their childhood and family life for inspiration. Today I talk

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<v Speaker 1>with a painter and a movie director. Both men have

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<v Speaker 1>drawn on their own families to create deeply personal art

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<v Speaker 1>in very different styles. Eric Fischel was described in the

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<v Speaker 1>nineteen eighties as a painter of the suburbs, but not

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<v Speaker 1>the suburbs you might imagine. In a woman possessed, an

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<v Speaker 1>unconscious female is sprawled out in a driveway surrounded by dogs.

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<v Speaker 1>In Sleepwalker, a young man stands naked in a kittie pool,

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<v Speaker 1>his hands between his legs. There's a lot of nudity

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<v Speaker 1>Inficial's work, and not a lot of smiles. Judd Apataw

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<v Speaker 1>is my first guest. His films include The forty year

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<v Speaker 1>Old Virgin, Knocked Up and Funny People, which feature emotionally

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<v Speaker 1>immature men forced to grow up after confronting sex, responsibility,

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<v Speaker 1>and death. Okay, what kill me? What nobody knows? We

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<v Speaker 1>know each other. You're a stranger. You can get away

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<v Speaker 1>with this. I got a gun in the other room.

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<v Speaker 1>It's untraceable. I'll give you fifty thousand dollars. Don't make

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<v Speaker 1>me suffer. Please kill me, Ira, I'm begging you. Can

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<v Speaker 1>you know it's give me like a night to think

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<v Speaker 1>about it. Of all apataws movies, his most recent This

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<v Speaker 1>is forty, released in December two thousand twelve, maybe his

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<v Speaker 1>most personal. It stars his real wife, Leslie Man, and

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<v Speaker 1>their own children, Maude and Iris, who play her kids

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<v Speaker 1>in the movie. Here, Apataw's comedic point of view collides

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<v Speaker 1>with marriage, work, and family. It sounds horrible, but do

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<v Speaker 1>you ever wonder what it would be? Like if you

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<v Speaker 1>your wife were separated by something bigger, will be death,

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<v Speaker 1>like her death. I have given it a fair amount

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<v Speaker 1>of thought, not any painful way, but just like a

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<v Speaker 1>gentle floating off. It's got to be peaceful. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>this is the mother of your children. And then the

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<v Speaker 1>new wifes would be great. God, I can't wait to

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<v Speaker 1>meet my second wife. I hope she likes me better

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<v Speaker 1>than this one. Judd Apataw began studying the art of

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<v Speaker 1>making people laugh as a kid when he would rush

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<v Speaker 1>home from school to watch TV, sometimes from three thirty

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<v Speaker 1>until after midnight. On the weekend. He'd record Saturday Night

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<v Speaker 1>Live on audio tape and transcribe the show later to

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<v Speaker 1>figure out what made it so funny. In high school,

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<v Speaker 1>he had a radio show in which he interviewed comedians

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<v Speaker 1>to learn as much as he could about their craft.

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<v Speaker 1>I think talk about your type of comedy that you do.

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<v Speaker 1>Comedians such as Gary Shandling, John Candy and Jerry Seinfeld.

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<v Speaker 1>Some people just tell the joke like an observation and

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<v Speaker 1>that's it. When you add a whole new dimension on it, Yeah, well,

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<v Speaker 1>it's one thing to see something, you know, and I

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<v Speaker 1>think the next step is to do something with it. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>in his mid forties, Apatow seems to have had his

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<v Speaker 1>hand in nearly every successful comedy of the last seven years.

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<v Speaker 1>He was a producer of Anchorman, super Bad, Bridesmaids, and

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<v Speaker 1>is currently an executive producer of the hit HBO show Girls.

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<v Speaker 1>But John Apatow still craves reassurance. I need constant approval

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<v Speaker 1>of my writing as I'm doing it, So I will

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<v Speaker 1>show people the first scene, the first ten pages people, anybody.

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<v Speaker 1>I will show anybody. I literally will send it to friends.

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<v Speaker 1>You know. Jake Kazan, who directed and produced on Freaks

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<v Speaker 1>and Geeks and Undeclared, is one of the first people

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<v Speaker 1>I show things too. But I'll show it to the

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<v Speaker 1>studio because I don't like that moment when you have

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<v Speaker 1>a finished script and you go, I wonder if they'll

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<v Speaker 1>like it. So if I send them thousands of pages

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<v Speaker 1>over the course of two years, they're so confused that

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<v Speaker 1>there's not a moment of truth, and to bury the

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<v Speaker 1>exactly and when it when it really gets down to it.

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<v Speaker 1>Lena Dunham and I were working on Girls that was

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<v Speaker 1>happening parallel to me making This is forty, so we

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<v Speaker 1>would literally spend two hours breaking girls stories and then

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<v Speaker 1>two hours talked about this is forty and then near

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<v Speaker 1>the end I'll get the courage up to send it

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<v Speaker 1>to like Eric Roth and James L. Brooks and Cameron. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>he's probably the biggest influence. I think his whole approach

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<v Speaker 1>to stories is just imprinted in my mind from my

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<v Speaker 1>childhood watching Mary Tyler Moore and Taxi. That's how I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like stories work. Normal people with everyday, normal problems,

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<v Speaker 1>trying to get along, trying to make their jobs, in

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<v Speaker 1>their love and their life work. And his work always

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<v Speaker 1>ends us some beautiful grace note which is always hopeful

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<v Speaker 1>yet realistic. And I remember them from when I was

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<v Speaker 1>a kid. How you know? There was a Taxi episode

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<v Speaker 1>where Louis d Pamo was dating a blind woman and

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<v Speaker 1>he was so in love and then she was having

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<v Speaker 1>an operation to get her sight back, and he thought

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<v Speaker 1>she's gonna dump me, you can see, And then of

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<v Speaker 1>course she loves him and thinks he's beautiful, and as

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<v Speaker 1>he walks out of the room, he throws something in

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<v Speaker 1>the garbage and he says, I guess I gotta get

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<v Speaker 1>a real ring. And I love how he would pull

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<v Speaker 1>that off, so he's very helpful. And in the middle

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<v Speaker 1>of this is for you, I emailed James Brooks and

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<v Speaker 1>I said, remind me what the movie is about. Again.

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<v Speaker 1>I forgot, and he sent me a long email saying,

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<v Speaker 1>this is what your movie is about. So you kind

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<v Speaker 1>of I'll let you say this, but it sounds to

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<v Speaker 1>me like you swim in kind of a pool or

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<v Speaker 1>a stream with a lot of people who make films,

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<v Speaker 1>and you're and you're open to their suggestions and you're

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<v Speaker 1>open to their ideas. If you talk to a multitude

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<v Speaker 1>of people for their ideas, which ones do you? I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>in the end, you decide. In the end, you choose.

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<v Speaker 1>I've always had faith in my ability to make that call,

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<v Speaker 1>so I don't mind a lot of feedback. It doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>confuse me if everyone says something different. I mean, I

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<v Speaker 1>come from television and rooms of people arguing about story,

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<v Speaker 1>and my formative years were spent at the Larry Sanders Show,

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<v Speaker 1>where you were a great guest and I one of

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<v Speaker 1>the great early moments in my career was I wrote

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<v Speaker 1>a bunch of those scenes and in the episode You're

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<v Speaker 1>in and just saw it on TV the other day.

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<v Speaker 1>I was home my favorite line, which was when Chandling

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<v Speaker 1>goes to the wings of the stage when I'm on

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<v Speaker 1>the set and I'm not quoting it properly, but rip says,

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<v Speaker 1>what's the matter? He says, I can't help it. I

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<v Speaker 1>keep seeing him having sex with my wife and he says,

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<v Speaker 1>and she's on top, and Rips says, the lazy bastards.

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<v Speaker 1>That's that is. I wrote that joke. I know I

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<v Speaker 1>wrote that joke because I was so proud of that joke.

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<v Speaker 1>And I remember when you came in to the first

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<v Speaker 1>day of shooting and to do the quick rehearsal, and

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<v Speaker 1>Gary was given you ship from the second you walk

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<v Speaker 1>in the doors, like Alex, you need a lozenge, you

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<v Speaker 1>need a lozenge, and you said, all right, that's how

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<v Speaker 1>it's gonna be, Gary, That's how it's gonna be. And

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<v Speaker 1>it's one of the great episodes. So so I think

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<v Speaker 1>that was not your first job though. My first job

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<v Speaker 1>I used to write jokes for comedians. I wrote jokes

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<v Speaker 1>for Rosanne's Nightclub act for one. Why did you did

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<v Speaker 1>you do stand up periodical? I did it for for

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<v Speaker 1>seven years. It's all I wanted to do. But I

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<v Speaker 1>very quickly realized I was better at creating sketches or

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<v Speaker 1>dramatic situations to get my point across, and as a

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<v Speaker 1>straight monologist, I wasn't interesting the way my roommate Adam

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<v Speaker 1>Sandler was or Jim Carrey. Just as a fan, I knew, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not these guys. You really felt that were oh yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Because and then we were in l A. At the

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<v Speaker 1>time I was in l A. I lived in North

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<v Speaker 1>Hollywood with Sandler and how it was under two years

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<v Speaker 1>and I mean it was the most fun time ever.

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<v Speaker 1>Every time we see each other were like that was

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<v Speaker 1>the best. You know. We were just so into doing

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<v Speaker 1>stand up and back then Sandler wasn't famous, so he

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<v Speaker 1>was really silly all the time and very obnoxious and

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<v Speaker 1>trying to make strangers laugh. He really engaged the world

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<v Speaker 1>for his own amusement, less to protect that he does now. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>He he just loved, you know, asking pulling people over

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<v Speaker 1>to ask for directions in the car and doing something

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<v Speaker 1>crazy to them. I mean it sounds ridiculous, but he

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<v Speaker 1>was the guy that would fart in the elevator and go, Judd,

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<v Speaker 1>come on, we're in an elevator. Uh. And that disappears

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<v Speaker 1>when you get famous. So you brought up up there,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, well, but you brought this up and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>I can't say I'm glad you did. But in your movie,

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<v Speaker 1>Paul Rudd is in bed with your wife. Yes, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>he's in bed with his wife, and to torment her,

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<v Speaker 1>he just rips off a series of well placed like

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<v Speaker 1>he's turning over cards in a game. He's like, he

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<v Speaker 1>rips a couple of parts there. But you that's not

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<v Speaker 1>how you live, right, Well, it's a that's a complicated scene.

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<v Speaker 1>And what's funny about that scene is, uh, they're having

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<v Speaker 1>a very serious conversation about their finances, which are not good,

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<v Speaker 1>and they're watching security camera footage waiting trying to figure

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<v Speaker 1>out who's stealing from them, and they see Megan Fox

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<v Speaker 1>fooling around with someone at work and then Leslie says,

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<v Speaker 1>at least she's getting some. And his reaction, after a

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<v Speaker 1>few moments of feeling attacked is to just fart. It's

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<v Speaker 1>like a monkey. It's kind of like saying, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>screw you. And Rudd did it as an improv. It

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't in the script. Yeah, it wasn't in the script.

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<v Speaker 1>And Leslie knows, okay, if anything happens off page I

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<v Speaker 1>need to go with it, and she's furious and you

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<v Speaker 1>see it in her eyes and she's really genuinely disgusted,

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<v Speaker 1>and you get kind of a real sense of what

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<v Speaker 1>marriage is like. That's how complex marriage is. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>now the other question I have a propos of the

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<v Speaker 1>movie was so I'm thinking, Rudd, it's either the highest

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<v Speaker 1>honor or he's the goat because you're you know, you're

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<v Speaker 1>lying in bed with your wife who has made a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of great films and funny films, and you say, uh,

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<v Speaker 1>what's your nickname for your wife? Can I ask called

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<v Speaker 1>les Is it les Leslie? Well, the funny thing is

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<v Speaker 1>I always call it Leslie And then she's like, Judd,

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<v Speaker 1>my name's Leslie. It's not I literally say her name,

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<v Speaker 1>it's Leslie. Leslie is when I'm in Cambridge now exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>So you're there with her and you say to her,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just envisioning this scene where you look her and

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<v Speaker 1>you say, baby, who's the guy that you like most

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<v Speaker 1>want to have sex with? It was like, and just

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<v Speaker 1>be honest with me. We've been together while we have

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<v Speaker 1>two kids. You know, it's me. I'm making a film,

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<v Speaker 1>and she says god, Paul Rudd, and I mean that

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<v Speaker 1>you crossed his name off the list. I know he's

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<v Speaker 1>never doing my film. Or is it like you put

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<v Speaker 1>him in or do you say to baby, who's the

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<v Speaker 1>guy that you view as like a brother, Like if

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<v Speaker 1>you had sex scenes with him, this wouldn't mean be

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<v Speaker 1>like like fooling around with your brother, Paul Rudd, that's

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<v Speaker 1>where you go hire him. She's disgusted, uh, and and

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<v Speaker 1>that makes it okay to watch them fool around. I

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<v Speaker 1>I'm always disgusted when she fools around with anyone. I

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<v Speaker 1>remember when we shot the Cable Guy, she kissed Matthew

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<v Speaker 1>Broderick and then when they parted, I saw it in

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<v Speaker 1>the dailies there was like a spit string that connected

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<v Speaker 1>them for like a foot. And and so yes, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>glad that unless they're lying about being disgusted by each other,

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<v Speaker 1>because I may be the fool they are lyned. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's terrible because I know because I've heard before, I've

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<v Speaker 1>had my ex wife has got you know, Russell Crowe

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<v Speaker 1>has got his tongue into her spinal for it, and

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<v Speaker 1>she's like, no, no, it's just nothing, it's nothing. Well,

0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:12.920
<v Speaker 1>the day I had a back surgery for a herniated

0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:17.440
<v Speaker 1>disc back in the year two thousand. Leslie couldn't be

0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:23.440
<v Speaker 1>there because Leslie, Sorry, Leslie, I couldn't be there because

0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:27.600
<v Speaker 1>she was. She was shooting a scene where she was

0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:31.360
<v Speaker 1>making love with Jeff Goldbloom, and you just know he's

0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:34.560
<v Speaker 1>all handsy in between takes the fly. You know he's

0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:37.200
<v Speaker 1>just for pushing buttons and a woman and you don't

0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:40.320
<v Speaker 1>even know we're there exactly now. When you start a

0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:43.280
<v Speaker 1>film like this, is there a fear when you begin?

0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:45.080
<v Speaker 1>Do you think to yourself, Oh God, this is the

0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.160
<v Speaker 1>one on all the wheels are going to fall off?

0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:51.199
<v Speaker 1>Like what's your disposition when you start shooting? You know,

0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:53.160
<v Speaker 1>I want to succeed because I just want to be

0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:57.840
<v Speaker 1>allowed to continue making movies. I also have a rebellious streak,

0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:00.240
<v Speaker 1>which is I do have some sense of what makes

0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:04.120
<v Speaker 1>a very commercial movie, and I'm working partially against that.

0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:07.240
<v Speaker 1>Like as the attention span of the audience gets shorter,

0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:10.199
<v Speaker 1>I want to make longer movies to say there's something

0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:13.800
<v Speaker 1>wrong with you that you can't sit for two film.

0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:16.319
<v Speaker 1>I deliberately do it with all of them because I

0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:18.640
<v Speaker 1>feel like, you know, this is the only time we're

0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:20.840
<v Speaker 1>going to get with these people? Why do you need

0:13:20.920 --> 0:13:23.520
<v Speaker 1>to rush to get home? And I like movies like

0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:26.280
<v Speaker 1>Jerry McGuire and in terms of endearment and movies that

0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:28.560
<v Speaker 1>were over two hours, it takes an extra twenty minutes

0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:32.439
<v Speaker 1>to explore, you know, more dimensions of people. So and

0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:34.880
<v Speaker 1>said to me, you're basically saying these people are worth

0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:37.280
<v Speaker 1>your time. And sometimes I watched the movie because I

0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:39.040
<v Speaker 1>have to watch it hundreds of times, I think, wow,

0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:41.960
<v Speaker 1>this is long. I'm really putting people through it. So

0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:45.800
<v Speaker 1>on day one, I'm both trying to figure out, like

0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:49.640
<v Speaker 1>marketing wise and concept wise, a way to make it

0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:55.440
<v Speaker 1>sell while thinking I'm sneaking some John Cassavetti's Robert Altman

0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:59.679
<v Speaker 1>aspect into a mainstream comedy. When when when you do

0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:04.440
<v Speaker 1>a home like this as knocked Up begets this film?

0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:06.880
<v Speaker 1>Does this film just right away? Do you start thinking

0:14:06.920 --> 0:14:10.439
<v Speaker 1>of other ideas whether you do them or not? Just absolutely?

0:14:10.520 --> 0:14:13.800
<v Speaker 1>I think that about most of the characters, I especially

0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:16.439
<v Speaker 1>coming from TV. I love that there was Rhoda after

0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:19.520
<v Speaker 1>Mary Tyler Moore or Fraser after Cheers. So anytime a

0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:22.600
<v Speaker 1>character works, I could watch it, you know, I could

0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:26.280
<v Speaker 1>watch uh, either of the leads of super Bad go

0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.680
<v Speaker 1>off on their own, Michael Sarah's character or Jonah Hills

0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:33.120
<v Speaker 1>or the cops. Once it exists, I'm kind of more

0:14:33.240 --> 0:14:36.800
<v Speaker 1>depressed that we're not doing more stories. And that's just

0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:38.800
<v Speaker 1>my whole thing. I don't like to let go. So

0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:40.920
<v Speaker 1>if someone said they're gonna make a movie about what

0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:43.920
<v Speaker 1>happened to Albert Brooks's character from Broadcast News, I'd be

0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:46.800
<v Speaker 1>the happiest man in the world. Had you known Brooks,

0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:49.640
<v Speaker 1>had you been acquainted with him and had worked with

0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:52.000
<v Speaker 1>him before, and you did this movie with him. I

0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:55.440
<v Speaker 1>met him in the early nineties when I was working

0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:57.720
<v Speaker 1>at the Lark Sanders Show. I had dinner with him

0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:00.160
<v Speaker 1>a couple of times with Gary, and I was and

0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:04.480
<v Speaker 1>awe to be around him because his Saturday night live

0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:06.840
<v Speaker 1>movies were really big influence on everything we did at

0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:10.040
<v Speaker 1>the Ben Steelers Show. And obviously, you know, defending your

0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:15.440
<v Speaker 1>life in modern romance and real life, you know, was yeah,

0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:19.560
<v Speaker 1>it's the template for a certain type of you. And

0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.920
<v Speaker 1>in the same sentence again, I was so excited to

0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:25.040
<v Speaker 1>meet Albert that afterwards I went home and I wrote

0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:28.120
<v Speaker 1>down every joke he said at dinner, like I still

0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:31.640
<v Speaker 1>have like the journal entry where he's making jokes about

0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.560
<v Speaker 1>the Menendez case. You don't kill your parents and buy

0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:38.640
<v Speaker 1>a Rolex. You don't do that. So I wrote the

0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:40.760
<v Speaker 1>part just for him, hoping it could be good enough.

0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:43.240
<v Speaker 1>I never want to ask anyone that I look up

0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:45.360
<v Speaker 1>to to be in my movie if I don't think

0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:47.320
<v Speaker 1>it could be as good as their movies. You know,

0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:50.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be their crappy movie. Now when

0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.160
<v Speaker 1>with Brooks, when you work with people like that who

0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.400
<v Speaker 1>are veteran, if you will are very experienced and have

0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:59.920
<v Speaker 1>a bead tremendous success, what's that experience like for you?

0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:02.880
<v Speaker 1>Was a director? Meaning? Do you do they come in

0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:05.440
<v Speaker 1>and they just start riffing and and are they rewriting

0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:07.840
<v Speaker 1>and improvising and you just let it go? Or do

0:16:07.880 --> 0:16:10.080
<v Speaker 1>you sit there and you do find a way, a

0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:12.520
<v Speaker 1>politic way to sit in My brother, to confine ourselves

0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:14.800
<v Speaker 1>to this what's on the page, not specifically with him,

0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:16.800
<v Speaker 1>but with any of them that come in, Well, I

0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:19.920
<v Speaker 1>precious arre you about what you've written. Well, I'm never

0:16:19.960 --> 0:16:24.000
<v Speaker 1>precious about anything other than my intention. So with Albert,

0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:26.600
<v Speaker 1>obviously I'm terrified because I'm working with someone who's clearly

0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.160
<v Speaker 1>more talented than me. So I'm trying to figure out

0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:33.160
<v Speaker 1>how to manage my idea for the story and tap

0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:36.200
<v Speaker 1>him for everything that he's worth. So I want him

0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:39.360
<v Speaker 1>writing and thinking and pitching me. I mean, I spent

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:42.360
<v Speaker 1>a year in a room trying to think of an

0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:44.960
<v Speaker 1>original character that he hadn't done before but that would

0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:48.600
<v Speaker 1>still use, you know, his great comic sensibilities. And then

0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.280
<v Speaker 1>I brought him into a rehearsal and we did the

0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:53.920
<v Speaker 1>scene as written, We did ideas that I had, and

0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:56.080
<v Speaker 1>then I just let him play and improvise and pitch

0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:58.160
<v Speaker 1>me things. And obviously, at the end of the day,

0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:00.520
<v Speaker 1>if you were to like write down which are those

0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:03.840
<v Speaker 1>lines are Albert's, you know, it becomes the majority, which

0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:07.280
<v Speaker 1>is the intention to give him a space where he's

0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:10.879
<v Speaker 1>comfortable enough to email me at night a better line

0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:12.879
<v Speaker 1>which you would do with the die. Before any scene,

0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:15.720
<v Speaker 1>I get a little email from Albert what if he said,

0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:21.720
<v Speaker 1>did it? And it's always better than my joke in

0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:25.560
<v Speaker 1>a minute, more from Jed Apatow, who's always thinking ahead.

0:17:25.800 --> 0:17:28.399
<v Speaker 1>I have these like age issues. So I my friends

0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:31.680
<v Speaker 1>are all forty five fifty, Okay, what is the movie

0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:34.399
<v Speaker 1>we would make in our fifties and I'll five years ahead,

0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:39.960
<v Speaker 1>begin to start flushing, start planning. I'm an like Baldwin.

0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:43.040
<v Speaker 1>And here's the thing. Take a listen to our archive

0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:48.920
<v Speaker 1>more unexpected conversations with artists, policymakers, and producers like Saturday

0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:54.000
<v Speaker 1>Night Lives Lord Michael's. Producing for me, anyway is like

0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.840
<v Speaker 1>an invisible art. If you're any good at it, you

0:17:56.960 --> 0:18:00.960
<v Speaker 1>leave no fingerprints and you own way you prove your

0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:03.840
<v Speaker 1>worth is you leave a body of work and people go, oh,

0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:08.199
<v Speaker 1>that accident happened there again, Oh I see. So you know,

0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:11.040
<v Speaker 1>you try and get the best out of people. If

0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:14.119
<v Speaker 1>you look around the room and you're the smartest person

0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:17.480
<v Speaker 1>in the room, then you're in the wrong room. Here

0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:20.960
<v Speaker 1>more from Michael's and those he discovered like Chris rock Aways.

0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:23.760
<v Speaker 1>I haven't been having a poor day since I met

0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:29.560
<v Speaker 1>Laura Michaels and I've never been broke. And here's the thing,

0:18:29.760 --> 0:18:43.560
<v Speaker 1>Dot Org. This is Alec Baldwin and you're listening to

0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:47.280
<v Speaker 1>here's the thing. When my guest Judd Apatow directed The

0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:50.520
<v Speaker 1>forty year Old Virgin, he collaborated with an actor who

0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:55.600
<v Speaker 1>dances on the fault line between insecure, juvenile and unapologetic adult.

0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:59.159
<v Speaker 1>He was the perfect muse for Apatow's film about a

0:18:59.160 --> 0:19:02.520
<v Speaker 1>middle aged man quest to finally have sex. I want

0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:04.560
<v Speaker 1>to go out with you, guys, Okay, I don't need

0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:06.760
<v Speaker 1>your help. Okay, fine, you don't have to go out

0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:08.159
<v Speaker 1>with us if you don't want. You know what, I

0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:12.120
<v Speaker 1>respect women. I love women. I respect them so much

0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:16.400
<v Speaker 1>that I completely stay away from Okay. I was producing

0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:20.240
<v Speaker 1>on Anchorman, and I hadn't directed a film before, but

0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:23.000
<v Speaker 1>I knew that Steve Carrell was one of the funniest

0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:25.520
<v Speaker 1>people I've ever seen. He was crushing so hard every

0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:28.240
<v Speaker 1>day on the set that all the actors were baffled

0:19:28.280 --> 0:19:31.120
<v Speaker 1>and how how funny he was. And he wasn't someone

0:19:31.119 --> 0:19:33.600
<v Speaker 1>that was in line to be the lead of a movie.

0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:38.080
<v Speaker 1>He was just one of the great, hilarious supporting actor people.

0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:42.679
<v Speaker 1>And I always like, I like those guys to be

0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:45.480
<v Speaker 1>the lead. I always want, you know, I want to

0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:49.520
<v Speaker 1>see yeah, yeah, Well beyond that, I want to see

0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:51.480
<v Speaker 1>George Went. I want to I want to I like

0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:54.080
<v Speaker 1>seeing I like because that's who I feel like. I

0:19:54.080 --> 0:19:56.280
<v Speaker 1>feel like the side guy, and I always want to

0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:58.760
<v Speaker 1>follow them home. And so I said to Steve, do

0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:01.160
<v Speaker 1>you have any ideas for mo vies, because you definitely

0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:04.480
<v Speaker 1>could carry a movie. And he said, there was a

0:20:04.480 --> 0:20:07.520
<v Speaker 1>sketch at Second City we did once that we never

0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:12.000
<v Speaker 1>quite finished, which was about a poker game where they're

0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:15.240
<v Speaker 1>all telling sex stories and it's clear that one guy

0:20:15.359 --> 0:20:17.440
<v Speaker 1>has never had sex, and everything he says, it makes

0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:20.040
<v Speaker 1>no sense. And he's saying, yeah, you know, like when

0:20:20.520 --> 0:20:22.760
<v Speaker 1>it's such a girl's breast, it feels like a bag

0:20:22.800 --> 0:20:25.400
<v Speaker 1>of sand and you go down your pants and there's

0:20:25.400 --> 0:20:29.720
<v Speaker 1>all that baby powder, and and he said, so, you know,

0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:32.920
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to play a forty year old virgin. And

0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:36.320
<v Speaker 1>just because I'm such a nerd and so insecure and

0:20:36.400 --> 0:20:40.720
<v Speaker 1>ashamed of everything in life, I just immediately understood what

0:20:40.760 --> 0:20:43.200
<v Speaker 1>he meant and that you could do something very sweet

0:20:43.240 --> 0:20:47.800
<v Speaker 1>and and riotously funny. So we wrote it together. Now now,

0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:51.040
<v Speaker 1>so when you direct the film, how is the technical

0:20:51.560 --> 0:20:54.840
<v Speaker 1>challenge for you? Or how is the technical aspects of

0:20:54.880 --> 0:20:57.680
<v Speaker 1>it for you? Grown? Because it is filmmaking, and are

0:20:57.680 --> 0:21:00.439
<v Speaker 1>you I like, do Mr and Mrs apple House sit

0:21:00.560 --> 0:21:03.639
<v Speaker 1>in the screening room at nine and watch Citizen Kane

0:21:03.720 --> 0:21:06.240
<v Speaker 1>and look at that there is a man. Look at

0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:09.200
<v Speaker 1>the rack focus? You know, do do you watch scenes

0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:10.960
<v Speaker 1>from films and say, that's what I want. There, It

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:15.160
<v Speaker 1>is right there, Leslie. That's not me at all, because

0:21:15.200 --> 0:21:16.800
<v Speaker 1>I came from being a stand up comedian. It was

0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:20.240
<v Speaker 1>all dialogue, it wasn't visuals, so I never tuned into that,

0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:23.119
<v Speaker 1>and I have no brain for the technology, so I

0:21:23.200 --> 0:21:26.520
<v Speaker 1>can't remember the lenses and what they do even now,

0:21:26.640 --> 0:21:29.679
<v Speaker 1>Like what do you do? I hire people who are

0:21:29.720 --> 0:21:32.520
<v Speaker 1>really good, like surrender all that to other people. Well,

0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:35.400
<v Speaker 1>it's not a total surrender, because I will show them

0:21:35.440 --> 0:21:38.280
<v Speaker 1>what I like. You know. I always I'm trying to

0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:41.720
<v Speaker 1>model my work after movies like the last detail of

0:21:41.760 --> 0:21:44.600
<v Speaker 1>the how Ashby movie or Coming Home. I like movies

0:21:44.640 --> 0:21:48.080
<v Speaker 1>that feel almost like a documentary. I want you to

0:21:48.080 --> 0:21:49.879
<v Speaker 1>forget I exist, and I'm trying to make it as

0:21:49.920 --> 0:21:52.640
<v Speaker 1>voyeuristic as I can make it. In some ways, it's

0:21:52.640 --> 0:21:56.159
<v Speaker 1>like Larry Sanders. I like that look for comedy. For

0:21:56.240 --> 0:21:59.119
<v Speaker 1>what I do. Your kids are in your movie? You

0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:01.600
<v Speaker 1>put your own chill room in the movie? True, and

0:22:01.640 --> 0:22:03.400
<v Speaker 1>what effect does that happen to? Like do your kids

0:22:03.400 --> 0:22:06.000
<v Speaker 1>now do they close their bedroom board? And they don't?

0:22:06.040 --> 0:22:08.640
<v Speaker 1>They like, don't come in here without a script. We'll

0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:11.119
<v Speaker 1>talk to me there is a little of Daddy. Why

0:22:11.119 --> 0:22:14.480
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't you let me work for anybody else? And because

0:22:14.520 --> 0:22:16.600
<v Speaker 1>I didn't put them in the movie to start a career.

0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:19.159
<v Speaker 1>I just wanted this idea to work, and I wanted

0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:21.760
<v Speaker 1>to capture a real family and have people on screen

0:22:22.240 --> 0:22:24.480
<v Speaker 1>that look like they love each other. Do they want

0:22:24.480 --> 0:22:26.560
<v Speaker 1>to make movies? Well, I was my ten year old.

0:22:26.600 --> 0:22:29.600
<v Speaker 1>She literally will say I don't want to be an actress,

0:22:30.280 --> 0:22:32.680
<v Speaker 1>so she's kind of cool. I think she probably wants

0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:34.879
<v Speaker 1>to write. And then Maud is doing a lot of things.

0:22:34.960 --> 0:22:38.720
<v Speaker 1>She's uh. She interviewed one direction for teen Vogue, and

0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:41.520
<v Speaker 1>her acting is so good here that I am concerned

0:22:41.840 --> 0:22:43.960
<v Speaker 1>that we'll get, you know, the call out of the

0:22:44.000 --> 0:22:47.080
<v Speaker 1>Blue from James Cameron to ask her to ride a

0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:49.240
<v Speaker 1>magical dragon for seven months, and then I have to

0:22:49.240 --> 0:22:51.840
<v Speaker 1>say Mud, no, you actually yeah, you have to you

0:22:51.840 --> 0:22:53.720
<v Speaker 1>have to finish school, and then she'll hate me for

0:22:53.760 --> 0:22:55.879
<v Speaker 1>the rest of her life. I could have been at

0:22:55.880 --> 0:22:59.000
<v Speaker 1>Avatar too, and you ruin it in said you want me,

0:22:59.040 --> 0:23:01.840
<v Speaker 1>you want me to wait until I'm in This is fifty,

0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:05.480
<v Speaker 1>so it's a it's a miscalculation based on my own

0:23:06.320 --> 0:23:09.560
<v Speaker 1>greediness to capture how great they are from my movie

0:23:09.640 --> 0:23:13.320
<v Speaker 1>with no you know, forethought of how it will affect

0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:16.040
<v Speaker 1>their lives. But they did really enjoy making the movie,

0:23:16.359 --> 0:23:19.479
<v Speaker 1>and they fought so much in the movie and in

0:23:19.600 --> 0:23:21.879
<v Speaker 1>life that since the movie they've gotten along great Like

0:23:21.920 --> 0:23:24.439
<v Speaker 1>It's almost like by playing out the drama of the

0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:29.359
<v Speaker 1>ridiculousness of their sibling rivalry screen, they had to think

0:23:29.359 --> 0:23:31.240
<v Speaker 1>through like why are we fighting? What is it about?

0:23:31.520 --> 0:23:34.560
<v Speaker 1>And on some unconscious level they've gone easier on each

0:23:34.600 --> 0:23:37.480
<v Speaker 1>other since we shot. It's so funny because that's the

0:23:37.520 --> 0:23:40.920
<v Speaker 1>old actors tenant that gets passed onto you that every

0:23:41.040 --> 0:23:45.359
<v Speaker 1>role you play, perhaps embedded in that role is an

0:23:45.400 --> 0:23:47.680
<v Speaker 1>opportunity for you to say goodbye to some party or

0:23:47.680 --> 0:23:50.119
<v Speaker 1>sol if you don't like I think that's true. I

0:23:50.280 --> 0:23:52.720
<v Speaker 1>I look at every movie as a letter to myself

0:23:53.400 --> 0:23:55.919
<v Speaker 1>telling me something that I need to know about how

0:23:55.960 --> 0:23:58.400
<v Speaker 1>to live my life. That I'm I'm only on some

0:23:58.480 --> 0:24:01.440
<v Speaker 1>level making these movies to say, Judd, pay attention, Judd,

0:24:01.480 --> 0:24:03.600
<v Speaker 1>live in the moment, because I am, you know, a

0:24:03.640 --> 0:24:08.159
<v Speaker 1>detached writer who who needs to be brought into the moment.

0:24:08.280 --> 0:24:11.040
<v Speaker 1>And a lot the movie when it was finally done,

0:24:11.040 --> 0:24:14.080
<v Speaker 1>what was her comment to you, uh in the beginning,

0:24:14.200 --> 0:24:18.520
<v Speaker 1>she worried if it didn't end happy enough, and now

0:24:18.800 --> 0:24:21.520
<v Speaker 1>she she really loves it. And I kind of like

0:24:21.720 --> 0:24:24.119
<v Speaker 1>that it has that question mark at the end, which is,

0:24:24.160 --> 0:24:26.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's hard work. It's gonna be hard work,

0:24:26.320 --> 0:24:28.040
<v Speaker 1>but they love each other and it's definitely worth it.

0:24:28.320 --> 0:24:32.720
<v Speaker 1>I think that sometimes she, you know, worries that it

0:24:32.760 --> 0:24:36.359
<v Speaker 1>could go slightly darker by like four percent than it

0:24:36.480 --> 0:24:40.800
<v Speaker 1>needs to, where I like that question mark of you know,

0:24:40.840 --> 0:24:43.520
<v Speaker 1>we're all struggling, but it's okay, that's what life is.

0:24:44.160 --> 0:24:46.639
<v Speaker 1>And still people say I'm resolving it too much, so

0:24:46.720 --> 0:24:48.600
<v Speaker 1>you can never walk that line. Some people want it

0:24:48.760 --> 0:24:51.159
<v Speaker 1>so dark and some people are so pissed. It's not

0:24:51.200 --> 0:24:53.840
<v Speaker 1>all jokes, so you know, I'm always in the middle.

0:24:57.520 --> 0:25:01.200
<v Speaker 1>Writer director Judd Apatow says he's still wonders what's left

0:25:01.280 --> 0:25:04.960
<v Speaker 1>to say. Don't worry, Judd, Turning fifty will give you

0:25:05.000 --> 0:25:09.600
<v Speaker 1>more than enough material for a sequel. My next guest

0:25:09.720 --> 0:25:13.320
<v Speaker 1>is an artist who, like Apataw, explores some of the

0:25:13.320 --> 0:25:15.840
<v Speaker 1>more peculiar sides of what it means to be human.

0:25:16.240 --> 0:25:19.280
<v Speaker 1>But unlike Apataw, his work isn't meant to make you laugh.

0:25:22.680 --> 0:25:26.840
<v Speaker 1>Eric Fishel is known for powerful and provocative paintings, most

0:25:26.960 --> 0:25:30.720
<v Speaker 1>notably Bad Boy. In it, a naked woman lies on

0:25:30.800 --> 0:25:33.400
<v Speaker 1>a bed, a young boy is standing in front of her,

0:25:33.480 --> 0:25:36.040
<v Speaker 1>his hands behind his back, and he seems to have

0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:40.960
<v Speaker 1>taken something from her purse. Official grew up in the

0:25:41.040 --> 0:25:44.480
<v Speaker 1>privileged country club culture of North Shore of Long Island,

0:25:44.920 --> 0:25:48.399
<v Speaker 1>but his mother suffered from depression and alcoholism and committed

0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:52.120
<v Speaker 1>suicide when Fisher was twenty two. After decades of living

0:25:52.119 --> 0:25:55.040
<v Speaker 1>in New York City, he and his wife, painter April Gornick,

0:25:55.359 --> 0:25:58.960
<v Speaker 1>now live full time on eastern Long Island. In his

0:25:59.040 --> 0:26:03.360
<v Speaker 1>recent autobiography, Bad Boy, My Life On and Off the Canvas,

0:26:03.680 --> 0:26:07.320
<v Speaker 1>Official covers his youth the art world, his own struggles

0:26:07.359 --> 0:26:10.600
<v Speaker 1>with depression and substance abuse, and his thoughts about the

0:26:10.640 --> 0:26:14.239
<v Speaker 1>creative process. He was in the first undergraduate class at

0:26:14.280 --> 0:26:17.600
<v Speaker 1>cal Arts, a place that was known for experimentation in

0:26:17.640 --> 0:26:22.960
<v Speaker 1>all forms, orgies, drugs, but most importantly conceptual art. It

0:26:23.000 --> 0:26:26.320
<v Speaker 1>would be some time before official, skill, talent, and voice

0:26:26.359 --> 0:26:30.479
<v Speaker 1>found a home in realism. I started out being trained

0:26:30.480 --> 0:26:33.840
<v Speaker 1>as an abstract painter. You know, if you you were

0:26:33.880 --> 0:26:36.480
<v Speaker 1>going to be a painter, you should be an abstract painter.

0:26:36.600 --> 0:26:40.520
<v Speaker 1>So I tried. What it turned out was that every

0:26:40.680 --> 0:26:43.520
<v Speaker 1>abstract painting I made felt like it was absolutely the

0:26:43.600 --> 0:26:46.959
<v Speaker 1>last painting I could make. Then at some point I

0:26:47.000 --> 0:26:52.080
<v Speaker 1>started to work with figures and with narrative and language

0:26:52.080 --> 0:26:55.679
<v Speaker 1>and stuff like that, and it flowed. That's when I

0:26:55.720 --> 0:26:57.760
<v Speaker 1>realized I was now doing the work that I was

0:26:57.760 --> 0:27:01.199
<v Speaker 1>supposed to do, that that I was built for. And

0:27:01.240 --> 0:27:03.760
<v Speaker 1>then it was a matter of getting better at it

0:27:03.840 --> 0:27:07.720
<v Speaker 1>and you know, perfecting it, honing it, etcetera. Was the

0:27:07.840 --> 0:27:10.919
<v Speaker 1>river I thought of you doing something else creatively. Music

0:27:11.000 --> 0:27:13.879
<v Speaker 1>was out of the question because I haven't toned deaf years,

0:27:14.000 --> 0:27:16.920
<v Speaker 1>so and then no way I could do that. I

0:27:16.960 --> 0:27:23.280
<v Speaker 1>was in a a play in eighth grade in which

0:27:23.520 --> 0:27:27.960
<v Speaker 1>it was called It's Cold and Them Lar Hills, and

0:27:28.040 --> 0:27:33.600
<v Speaker 1>I played this hillbilly named Zeke, who didn't speak through

0:27:33.640 --> 0:27:36.760
<v Speaker 1>the entire play, but was on stage the entire time

0:27:37.280 --> 0:27:39.840
<v Speaker 1>until the very end, when I had this like big

0:27:39.880 --> 0:27:43.040
<v Speaker 1>speech where I proclaimed my love for this person who

0:27:43.080 --> 0:27:47.080
<v Speaker 1>didn't know I was even present the girl, and I

0:27:47.119 --> 0:27:50.040
<v Speaker 1>get the girl, But it was like spending a lot

0:27:50.080 --> 0:27:53.600
<v Speaker 1>of time kind of being present and absent at the

0:27:53.680 --> 0:27:58.240
<v Speaker 1>same time. Was actually a profound experience for me. But

0:27:58.480 --> 0:28:01.040
<v Speaker 1>it it didn't lead to me wanting to do with

0:28:01.119 --> 0:28:05.840
<v Speaker 1>the next play or to do that. And I've actually

0:28:05.840 --> 0:28:08.880
<v Speaker 1>become much more of a public person over the years,

0:28:09.800 --> 0:28:13.320
<v Speaker 1>and it was a lot easier for me to in

0:28:13.560 --> 0:28:19.000
<v Speaker 1>private have my thoughts and feelings and and you know,

0:28:19.040 --> 0:28:23.240
<v Speaker 1>sort of express them before anyone ever saw them. And

0:28:23.280 --> 0:28:26.800
<v Speaker 1>so I could actually control the form of expression before

0:28:26.880 --> 0:28:35.000
<v Speaker 1>it entered the world. Yes, exactly. But my sensibility is

0:28:35.160 --> 0:28:39.680
<v Speaker 1>very much I think, consistent with you know, an an

0:28:39.680 --> 0:28:46.320
<v Speaker 1>actor's sensibility and a director's sensibility, and in that sense of,

0:28:47.600 --> 0:28:52.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, understanding what a dramatic moment actually is, where

0:28:52.120 --> 0:28:57.560
<v Speaker 1>where meaning is present. My work is based on or

0:28:57.720 --> 0:29:01.680
<v Speaker 1>that as a source material photographs. I did a project

0:29:01.680 --> 0:29:05.880
<v Speaker 1>once where actually used actors. I was given a house,

0:29:06.160 --> 0:29:10.720
<v Speaker 1>Miss Vandorot house and craigfelt Germany to uh do some

0:29:10.840 --> 0:29:15.360
<v Speaker 1>kind of interaction with the house. I never worked with

0:29:15.440 --> 0:29:19.560
<v Speaker 1>actors before, and so I went to friends who were

0:29:19.560 --> 0:29:24.880
<v Speaker 1>in the business, you know, writers, playwright, screenwriters, whatever, directors

0:29:25.640 --> 0:29:27.720
<v Speaker 1>to give me some ideas that like, how do you

0:29:27.800 --> 0:29:30.960
<v Speaker 1>talk to an actor, what gets them going, etcetera. Because

0:29:31.000 --> 0:29:35.040
<v Speaker 1>I had no clue. The simplest advice came back from

0:29:35.080 --> 0:29:39.280
<v Speaker 1>Mike Nichols, who said, I'll give them problems. They love problems,

0:29:39.840 --> 0:29:43.080
<v Speaker 1>and I said, what the hell is a problem? They said, no,

0:29:43.200 --> 0:29:46.160
<v Speaker 1>you know she wants to borrow five hundred bucks from him,

0:29:46.160 --> 0:29:48.880
<v Speaker 1>but you won't tell him. Why why just give him that,

0:29:48.960 --> 0:29:52.840
<v Speaker 1>You'll see right. I was like, okay, I would give

0:29:52.920 --> 0:29:57.400
<v Speaker 1>him a problem, and I was surprised at how fast

0:29:57.520 --> 0:29:59.840
<v Speaker 1>I could tell that the problem I gave him wasn't

0:29:59.840 --> 0:30:03.680
<v Speaker 1>an good. They couldn't get animated, and they were just

0:30:03.760 --> 0:30:06.719
<v Speaker 1>like it wasn't achieving the desire to felt they were.

0:30:06.760 --> 0:30:09.080
<v Speaker 1>They were just dead. It was like nothing. Their body

0:30:09.080 --> 0:30:12.080
<v Speaker 1>couldn't even move hardly. And at the same time, when

0:30:12.120 --> 0:30:14.720
<v Speaker 1>I gave him something, they could really bite their teeth into.

0:30:14.880 --> 0:30:18.000
<v Speaker 1>For example, I did sleep with you, but you have

0:30:18.080 --> 0:30:23.000
<v Speaker 1>to break up with their boyfriend. The thing is the

0:30:23.200 --> 0:30:28.800
<v Speaker 1>female actress had like zero interest in him, but she

0:30:28.880 --> 0:30:30.680
<v Speaker 1>was very professional, and so we're going to do the

0:30:30.720 --> 0:30:34.280
<v Speaker 1>bedroom stuff and I set up some stuff in there

0:30:34.800 --> 0:30:37.760
<v Speaker 1>and it really wasn't working. It was saying, you know,

0:30:39.160 --> 0:30:43.080
<v Speaker 1>there was something. They were dressed in evening clothes. It

0:30:43.160 --> 0:30:46.360
<v Speaker 1>was late to come home. You know, he's drunk. She's

0:30:46.400 --> 0:30:50.120
<v Speaker 1>hoping that you know, they could have some sex. Maybe

0:30:51.120 --> 0:30:53.800
<v Speaker 1>he's you know what, it can't kind of get it together.

0:30:54.440 --> 0:30:58.520
<v Speaker 1>It was lame. So he gets up and he goes

0:30:58.560 --> 0:31:00.680
<v Speaker 1>off to the bathroom or something like that. And so

0:31:00.720 --> 0:31:05.040
<v Speaker 1>I say to her, look, take off your clothes, get

0:31:05.040 --> 0:31:08.800
<v Speaker 1>in the bed. You're a wild animal. Whatever you do,

0:31:08.800 --> 0:31:11.240
<v Speaker 1>don't let him in the bed. Now, this bed that

0:31:11.320 --> 0:31:15.080
<v Speaker 1>I had chosen was like a modernist bed that had

0:31:15.120 --> 0:31:18.680
<v Speaker 1>this igloe of a mosquito netting over it, so it

0:31:18.760 --> 0:31:21.280
<v Speaker 1>made like a cocoon or something like that. At tent.

0:31:22.440 --> 0:31:24.440
<v Speaker 1>All of a sudden, she like curls up into this

0:31:24.520 --> 0:31:28.320
<v Speaker 1>incredible kind of creature and then like pushes herself against

0:31:28.400 --> 0:31:31.080
<v Speaker 1>the end of the wall and and and it's like

0:31:31.960 --> 0:31:35.760
<v Speaker 1>just sitting there waiting, right, and he comes back into

0:31:35.800 --> 0:31:37.480
<v Speaker 1>the room, and now he sees her in the bed.

0:31:37.600 --> 0:31:40.480
<v Speaker 1>She's naked. It's like, oh, we're getting some how, We're

0:31:40.520 --> 0:31:46.680
<v Speaker 1>getting somewhere, right. He takes his bathrobe off and walks

0:31:46.760 --> 0:31:49.440
<v Speaker 1>over to the netting. He starts to lift it up,

0:31:50.240 --> 0:31:54.000
<v Speaker 1>and she comes flying across the bed one leap and

0:31:54.200 --> 0:31:58.160
<v Speaker 1>smashes him in the face. Right, And he's like whoa.

0:31:59.360 --> 0:32:03.160
<v Speaker 1>And then you got a whoa. This could be fun

0:32:03.840 --> 0:32:06.200
<v Speaker 1>and you've got good images. I got great images also

0:32:06.280 --> 0:32:09.280
<v Speaker 1>that Yeah, yeah, they did a whole dance around getting

0:32:09.280 --> 0:32:11.240
<v Speaker 1>in and out of the bed, and when he finally

0:32:11.280 --> 0:32:14.240
<v Speaker 1>got in, she slipped out, and you know it reverse

0:32:14.320 --> 0:32:18.720
<v Speaker 1>the roles and stuff, and that was that. But do

0:32:18.800 --> 0:32:22.040
<v Speaker 1>you find that this carries through insofar as you know

0:32:22.120 --> 0:32:24.800
<v Speaker 1>a painter? And this is my view. This is not

0:32:24.880 --> 0:32:26.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying this is a commonly health view, but

0:32:26.760 --> 0:32:28.840
<v Speaker 1>this is my view, and that is the work I do.

0:32:28.960 --> 0:32:32.200
<v Speaker 1>A It requires an audience and also somebody giving you

0:32:32.240 --> 0:32:36.080
<v Speaker 1>a role, right and someone and exactly someone unless you

0:32:36.080 --> 0:32:38.960
<v Speaker 1>were self producing. But for you, my view of it

0:32:38.960 --> 0:32:41.520
<v Speaker 1>as I'd sit there with and look at painters and

0:32:41.520 --> 0:32:43.360
<v Speaker 1>I think, God, how much I envy them that you

0:32:43.400 --> 0:32:46.640
<v Speaker 1>sit in a room and you're totally self generating and

0:32:46.680 --> 0:32:48.800
<v Speaker 1>you do exactly what you want to do, and then

0:32:48.800 --> 0:32:50.600
<v Speaker 1>you send it out into the world and say if

0:32:50.640 --> 0:32:52.640
<v Speaker 1>you like it, great, If you don't, I really don't

0:32:52.680 --> 0:32:56.640
<v Speaker 1>give a shit. You know, it's completely un self conscious

0:32:56.640 --> 0:32:59.360
<v Speaker 1>in that way unless you're doing a commission. And do

0:32:59.440 --> 0:33:01.400
<v Speaker 1>you feel that I don't give a ship as a

0:33:01.480 --> 0:33:05.680
<v Speaker 1>protective a response. I think it's like, God, I hope

0:33:05.720 --> 0:33:09.640
<v Speaker 1>they liked they oh, sure, yeah, but I don't. I

0:33:09.640 --> 0:33:13.920
<v Speaker 1>don't believe any painters sitting there pretending that they only

0:33:14.000 --> 0:33:16.960
<v Speaker 1>do the work for themselves and stuff. They're they're they're

0:33:17.040 --> 0:33:21.000
<v Speaker 1>seeking some kind of resonance, some some response. Yeah, have

0:33:21.080 --> 0:33:23.480
<v Speaker 1>you Have you ever done a painting and you were mistaken,

0:33:23.600 --> 0:33:27.040
<v Speaker 1>meaning you did a painting And I'm being very melodramatic here,

0:33:27.040 --> 0:33:28.480
<v Speaker 1>but you did a painting and you were done, even

0:33:28.480 --> 0:33:31.560
<v Speaker 1>you said, good God, official, you've done it. There it

0:33:31.640 --> 0:33:34.520
<v Speaker 1>is there, you have it. And then and the painting

0:33:34.520 --> 0:33:37.840
<v Speaker 1>did not succeed in one term, and then other times

0:33:37.880 --> 0:33:39.760
<v Speaker 1>you sat there and said the opposite, this is a

0:33:39.760 --> 0:33:41.080
<v Speaker 1>piece of crap in it was one of your most

0:33:41.120 --> 0:33:45.800
<v Speaker 1>successful has that happened, Not in the extreme, But I've

0:33:45.840 --> 0:33:49.920
<v Speaker 1>certainly done paintings that I thought were better than they

0:33:49.920 --> 0:33:54.040
<v Speaker 1>were received. And I've certainly had the experience where I've

0:33:54.760 --> 0:33:57.800
<v Speaker 1>seen paintings that I didn't think were so good when

0:33:57.800 --> 0:34:01.480
<v Speaker 1>I did them and see them ten years later and go,

0:34:01.720 --> 0:34:05.800
<v Speaker 1>you know, that actually isn't that bad. So I don't know,

0:34:05.880 --> 0:34:13.480
<v Speaker 1>But now it with people that you photograph, manipulate, paint,

0:34:13.600 --> 0:34:16.200
<v Speaker 1>whatever verb you want to use for the work you do,

0:34:16.400 --> 0:34:19.560
<v Speaker 1>and the stages of the work you do. How much

0:34:19.680 --> 0:34:22.719
<v Speaker 1>would you say you're a view of people, because I think,

0:34:22.800 --> 0:34:25.120
<v Speaker 1>like most men, we have this in common, which is

0:34:25.160 --> 0:34:28.799
<v Speaker 1>this kind of relationship of your mother. And if you

0:34:28.880 --> 0:34:31.279
<v Speaker 1>have a good relationship with your mother, let's say you

0:34:31.320 --> 0:34:33.560
<v Speaker 1>want to replicate that and have a terrible relationship with

0:34:33.560 --> 0:34:35.320
<v Speaker 1>your mother. You want to find someone is the opposite

0:34:35.320 --> 0:34:38.520
<v Speaker 1>of your mother, or you want to restage the drama

0:34:38.600 --> 0:34:40.640
<v Speaker 1>with your mother. As a therapist, one said to me,

0:34:40.920 --> 0:34:42.880
<v Speaker 1>we want to restage that in our lives, and you

0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:47.680
<v Speaker 1>get all the good lines now. So I think all

0:34:47.960 --> 0:34:51.480
<v Speaker 1>art expression is in some way trying to correct a

0:34:51.480 --> 0:34:53.879
<v Speaker 1>lot of stuff. And if you're trying to put some

0:34:53.960 --> 0:34:57.720
<v Speaker 1>clarity to it, some order to it, make it makes sense.

0:34:57.880 --> 0:35:00.560
<v Speaker 1>You know, how would you think that you're you? You're

0:35:00.640 --> 0:35:03.879
<v Speaker 1>very candid about your mother, who was obviously very ill.

0:35:04.040 --> 0:35:06.800
<v Speaker 1>You know, she's a very sick woman, and that plays

0:35:06.800 --> 0:35:10.040
<v Speaker 1>out on her behavior. Um, she wasn't a mean spirited

0:35:10.040 --> 0:35:14.960
<v Speaker 1>wom she was she was just completely control And how

0:35:14.960 --> 0:35:18.719
<v Speaker 1>would you say that? Colored? Because count to three when

0:35:18.719 --> 0:35:22.080
<v Speaker 1>you read the book and your bell bottoms and hate

0:35:22.120 --> 0:35:24.560
<v Speaker 1>Ashbury and you're into a very kind of summer of love.

0:35:24.640 --> 0:35:26.360
<v Speaker 1>Sixty six, I thin, Because when you head out to

0:35:26.400 --> 0:35:28.560
<v Speaker 1>the West Coast and you're in the thick of it,

0:35:28.760 --> 0:35:30.600
<v Speaker 1>how do you think, what did you carry out there

0:35:30.640 --> 0:35:32.880
<v Speaker 1>with you in terms of your idea about women, what

0:35:33.000 --> 0:35:35.719
<v Speaker 1>you wanted or well I had to you know, sort

0:35:35.760 --> 0:35:41.960
<v Speaker 1>of two kinds of relationships with women. One one was

0:35:42.960 --> 0:35:46.359
<v Speaker 1>I was attracted to women that were absolutely bad for me.

0:35:46.960 --> 0:35:51.160
<v Speaker 1>They opened up that void, you know, just emptiness that

0:35:52.080 --> 0:35:55.600
<v Speaker 1>in a way that was like yeah, and you know,

0:35:55.600 --> 0:35:58.200
<v Speaker 1>it was full of passion and it was full of

0:35:58.280 --> 0:36:01.600
<v Speaker 1>you know this, you know, found need and stuff like

0:36:01.680 --> 0:36:06.279
<v Speaker 1>that was very emotional and very short lived. And then

0:36:06.320 --> 0:36:09.560
<v Speaker 1>the other kind of woman was one where you know,

0:36:10.160 --> 0:36:15.920
<v Speaker 1>they were really stable, reliable and reliable, and yeah, I

0:36:16.080 --> 0:36:20.960
<v Speaker 1>married them. You're married to April. I married I was

0:36:21.000 --> 0:36:25.800
<v Speaker 1>married once before and stable and stable enough. Yeah, but

0:36:26.719 --> 0:36:30.440
<v Speaker 1>then yeah, I married April and you know for the

0:36:30.520 --> 0:36:35.200
<v Speaker 1>last thirty some odd years. Yeah. Did your work change

0:36:35.280 --> 0:36:38.480
<v Speaker 1>in sync with your attitude toward love and relationships? It

0:36:38.840 --> 0:36:43.160
<v Speaker 1>did with time. You know, the early relationship with April,

0:36:43.200 --> 0:36:46.960
<v Speaker 1>for example, we were both young artists, really trying to

0:36:46.960 --> 0:36:52.239
<v Speaker 1>find our voices, trying to understand who we were. I

0:36:52.280 --> 0:36:57.600
<v Speaker 1>was dealing with the wounds of the past as opposed

0:36:57.640 --> 0:37:02.200
<v Speaker 1>to the you know, the present with her. So it

0:37:02.280 --> 0:37:06.839
<v Speaker 1>wasn't apparent then other than the stability of our relationship

0:37:06.920 --> 0:37:11.560
<v Speaker 1>gave me the courage to look into these other Well,

0:37:11.680 --> 0:37:16.120
<v Speaker 1>you know, she's incredibly bright, She's somebody that can multitask

0:37:16.239 --> 0:37:19.600
<v Speaker 1>in a in an emotional way. Do you have children?

0:37:20.440 --> 0:37:22.160
<v Speaker 1>Do you think that that was partly because of what

0:37:22.280 --> 0:37:24.520
<v Speaker 1>your childhood? Yeah, I think we're both. April and I

0:37:24.640 --> 0:37:30.920
<v Speaker 1>had a lot very traumatic things that passed that made

0:37:30.960 --> 0:37:35.520
<v Speaker 1>that that seemed dangerous. There there was a point at

0:37:35.520 --> 0:37:40.960
<v Speaker 1>which I felt like I could handle having kids, but

0:37:41.040 --> 0:37:44.319
<v Speaker 1>April wasn't there yet. And the one thing I wasn't

0:37:44.320 --> 0:37:47.640
<v Speaker 1>gonna do was insist that we do it my way

0:37:47.680 --> 0:37:50.560
<v Speaker 1>because I know what that she was only going to

0:37:50.680 --> 0:37:53.799
<v Speaker 1>indulge you so far. Yeah, and and or or it

0:37:53.880 --> 0:37:55.799
<v Speaker 1>was going to break her down in a way that

0:37:55.880 --> 0:38:01.160
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't bear. So, you know, it passed. M hm. Now,

0:38:01.280 --> 0:38:04.440
<v Speaker 1>in the book your Father, he went that route that

0:38:04.480 --> 0:38:06.120
<v Speaker 1>a lot of dads go, which is he just wants

0:38:06.120 --> 0:38:08.680
<v Speaker 1>to give you the safe advice. Yeah, his parental duty

0:38:08.760 --> 0:38:10.920
<v Speaker 1>was to say to you, you know, let's be reasonable now.

0:38:11.400 --> 0:38:13.000
<v Speaker 1>And he told you to go to get a business

0:38:13.200 --> 0:38:16.200
<v Speaker 1>did your father live to see you become a great success?

0:38:16.360 --> 0:38:19.560
<v Speaker 1>He did? Yeah, my my mother didn't. My father did

0:38:19.600 --> 0:38:25.640
<v Speaker 1>He He actually didn't understand what success was in art anyway,

0:38:26.320 --> 0:38:32.520
<v Speaker 1>that he'd kind of given up by then, right, So, yeah, exactly.

0:38:32.600 --> 0:38:35.000
<v Speaker 1>She would a very very kind of icy relationship with

0:38:35.040 --> 0:38:39.200
<v Speaker 1>it was. It was volatile and complicated. But you know,

0:38:39.360 --> 0:38:41.920
<v Speaker 1>he he really didn't know anything about art, so he

0:38:41.920 --> 0:38:44.440
<v Speaker 1>didn't really know anything about what success in art was.

0:38:44.600 --> 0:38:51.120
<v Speaker 1>And back then, you know, success and fortune were not

0:38:51.160 --> 0:38:53.680
<v Speaker 1>connected to each other in the art world. You you

0:38:53.719 --> 0:38:58.680
<v Speaker 1>could be highly successful, you know, shown in museums around

0:38:58.719 --> 0:39:02.239
<v Speaker 1>the world, and and they'll be doing a teaching job

0:39:02.360 --> 0:39:06.160
<v Speaker 1>or driving a taxi or something to do it. So

0:39:07.560 --> 0:39:10.120
<v Speaker 1>he was perplexed that I would even be in a

0:39:10.239 --> 0:39:15.640
<v Speaker 1>field in which there wasn't a monetary reward necessarily, right.

0:39:16.760 --> 0:39:21.399
<v Speaker 1>But at some point he started to see my name

0:39:21.400 --> 0:39:25.960
<v Speaker 1>in print, and that was something that he understood as success.

0:39:27.520 --> 0:39:31.240
<v Speaker 1>And then he really flipped from from sort of disengagement

0:39:31.360 --> 0:39:35.480
<v Speaker 1>to the proud parent who you know. We we'd go

0:39:35.520 --> 0:39:38.000
<v Speaker 1>into a grocery store and at the checkout, country guard,

0:39:38.200 --> 0:39:40.480
<v Speaker 1>you know who this is my son. This is the

0:39:40.600 --> 0:39:44.360
<v Speaker 1>artist that he take the clipping out of his wallet exactly.

0:39:44.480 --> 0:39:48.120
<v Speaker 1>This is from the New York Times. That's E R

0:39:48.480 --> 0:39:55.600
<v Speaker 1>I see F I s h L. Well, you know

0:39:55.680 --> 0:39:59.799
<v Speaker 1>he uh, he became an artist at the end of

0:39:59.800 --> 0:40:05.640
<v Speaker 1>his life as well. He he discovered collage, and it

0:40:05.680 --> 0:40:09.160
<v Speaker 1>took him a while after he retired to find He

0:40:09.200 --> 0:40:10.759
<v Speaker 1>tried other things, and then all of a sudden he

0:40:10.800 --> 0:40:15.280
<v Speaker 1>found himself like sitting in his office at home cutting

0:40:15.320 --> 0:40:19.640
<v Speaker 1>pictures out and gluing them together. And by the time

0:40:19.719 --> 0:40:23.520
<v Speaker 1>he died, I had realized that he and I could

0:40:23.560 --> 0:40:27.520
<v Speaker 1>never talk to each other. We just kept missing, you know,

0:40:28.840 --> 0:40:33.200
<v Speaker 1>but we understood each other visually, and so he would

0:40:33.280 --> 0:40:37.080
<v Speaker 1>send me his collages and I knew exactly what he

0:40:37.200 --> 0:40:40.320
<v Speaker 1>was thinking about, where he was at, how he was feeling,

0:40:40.960 --> 0:40:44.400
<v Speaker 1>and he showed me that he was had been using

0:40:44.480 --> 0:40:49.560
<v Speaker 1>my paintings to understand what had happened in our lives

0:40:49.760 --> 0:40:53.120
<v Speaker 1>with my mother and the whole family dynamic. So it

0:40:53.200 --> 0:40:56.600
<v Speaker 1>was it was deeply rewarding to me ultimately too. But

0:40:56.680 --> 0:40:58.719
<v Speaker 1>it took me a while to understand that they were

0:40:58.719 --> 0:41:02.800
<v Speaker 1>talked to about your paint and his painting. Well at first,

0:41:02.920 --> 0:41:06.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean he didn't he talked to me about success.

0:41:06.239 --> 0:41:08.799
<v Speaker 1>You know he could see and be enthusiastic for this

0:41:08.880 --> 0:41:12.319
<v Speaker 1>show and that show, etcetera, etcetera. But there was this

0:41:12.600 --> 0:41:17.319
<v Speaker 1>uh thing that happened. There was I think, um, you know,

0:41:17.400 --> 0:41:19.640
<v Speaker 1>really blew my mind, which was that I had done

0:41:19.680 --> 0:41:24.440
<v Speaker 1>a painting called a Woman Possessed. And it was a

0:41:24.480 --> 0:41:29.640
<v Speaker 1>painting of a woman outside the suburban home, drunk, passed

0:41:29.680 --> 0:41:33.680
<v Speaker 1>out in the driveway, surrounded by these dogs that were like,

0:41:33.880 --> 0:41:37.479
<v Speaker 1>you know, beasts from hell were you know, some were

0:41:37.480 --> 0:41:41.040
<v Speaker 1>sniffing her somewhere, growling at at the sun. Who had

0:41:41.040 --> 0:41:43.200
<v Speaker 1>could just come home from school. The school books are

0:41:43.200 --> 0:41:45.839
<v Speaker 1>on the ground, his bicycles flipped over, he hopped off

0:41:45.840 --> 0:41:49.120
<v Speaker 1>his bike. So this boy is trying to pull her

0:41:49.160 --> 0:41:56.040
<v Speaker 1>away from these dogs and her demon dogs. I I

0:41:56.120 --> 0:41:59.280
<v Speaker 1>showed the painting in Toronto and the and the critic

0:42:00.800 --> 0:42:04.680
<v Speaker 1>described it in the most beautiful terms. He understood it

0:42:04.760 --> 0:42:10.120
<v Speaker 1>as as a painting that revealed the profound pain of love,

0:42:10.760 --> 0:42:15.320
<v Speaker 1>of loving someone, right, And he wrote extensively about it.

0:42:15.320 --> 0:42:18.520
<v Speaker 1>And so you know, proud son sends it to my father,

0:42:18.760 --> 0:42:23.680
<v Speaker 1>and unbeknownst to me, my father sends the review of

0:42:23.680 --> 0:42:28.759
<v Speaker 1>off to my siblings, right, and my younger sister Lori

0:42:29.800 --> 0:42:33.440
<v Speaker 1>writes back a letter to him. She's furious, why is

0:42:33.480 --> 0:42:37.000
<v Speaker 1>he trying to make her remember this painful time? You know?

0:42:37.800 --> 0:42:40.440
<v Speaker 1>And he shared these letters to me. I didn't know

0:42:40.480 --> 0:42:44.120
<v Speaker 1>they were having until the whole communication came to me,

0:42:45.760 --> 0:42:48.400
<v Speaker 1>but he shared to me her response and then his

0:42:48.520 --> 0:42:52.080
<v Speaker 1>response to her, in which he revealed that he had

0:42:52.080 --> 0:42:57.279
<v Speaker 1>been actually using my paintings the whole time to understand

0:42:57.719 --> 0:43:01.000
<v Speaker 1>emotionally what had been happening in our lives and stuff,

0:43:01.040 --> 0:43:06.040
<v Speaker 1>and that he was just trying to heal something, you know,

0:43:06.080 --> 0:43:08.839
<v Speaker 1>trying to bring her into it as well, into two,

0:43:08.960 --> 0:43:12.359
<v Speaker 1>into a kind of healing process, and to acknowledge his awareness, yeah,

0:43:13.040 --> 0:43:16.839
<v Speaker 1>which which took me completely by surprise, and that that

0:43:16.920 --> 0:43:19.839
<v Speaker 1>he had been seeing the work as deeply as he had,

0:43:20.640 --> 0:43:24.839
<v Speaker 1>you know, revealed, which is what I intended I hope

0:43:24.880 --> 0:43:31.560
<v Speaker 1>for you, Yeah, exactly. Coming up, Eric Fischel shares his

0:43:31.640 --> 0:43:41.400
<v Speaker 1>thoughts about art, commerce and love. I make a painting

0:43:41.440 --> 0:43:45.640
<v Speaker 1>out of love, and I'm seeking love in return. I

0:43:45.719 --> 0:43:50.399
<v Speaker 1>want that to come back in that way. Right, So

0:43:50.640 --> 0:43:55.000
<v Speaker 1>somebody gives you money, right, on one hand, you think, well,

0:43:55.000 --> 0:43:57.840
<v Speaker 1>that's an expression of love. They want to possess your work,

0:43:57.960 --> 0:44:01.640
<v Speaker 1>so so they're they're expressing in love, but money doesn't

0:44:01.680 --> 0:44:06.520
<v Speaker 1>feel like love because it's a neutral currency. Now I

0:44:06.600 --> 0:44:10.480
<v Speaker 1>have to change that money into something that tells me

0:44:10.920 --> 0:44:25.120
<v Speaker 1>how much love I just got back. This is Alec

0:44:25.120 --> 0:44:28.560
<v Speaker 1>Baldwin and you're listening to here's the thing. My guest

0:44:28.640 --> 0:44:31.480
<v Speaker 1>today is Eric Fischel. For years, he and his wife

0:44:31.800 --> 0:44:35.160
<v Speaker 1>worked out of their downtown Manhattan studio. He says the

0:44:35.200 --> 0:44:37.960
<v Speaker 1>city of the nineties was the perfect place to develop

0:44:38.040 --> 0:44:41.520
<v Speaker 1>his craft. However, for official, developing a tolerance for the

0:44:41.560 --> 0:44:45.760
<v Speaker 1>business of art has proven more difficult. I do these

0:44:46.520 --> 0:44:51.680
<v Speaker 1>works on paper that oil on paper, their sketches. They're

0:44:51.719 --> 0:44:54.240
<v Speaker 1>a great pleasure for me to do. Some of them

0:44:54.360 --> 0:44:57.040
<v Speaker 1>lead to painting, some of them don't. But it's it's

0:44:57.040 --> 0:45:02.160
<v Speaker 1>an activity that I do. And uh, there was a

0:45:02.200 --> 0:45:06.839
<v Speaker 1>time when they would be sold, you know, for like

0:45:07.480 --> 0:45:11.120
<v Speaker 1>five thousand dollars, and then you know, ten thousand dollars,

0:45:11.160 --> 0:45:17.680
<v Speaker 1>and I uh, at some point on the secondary market

0:45:17.719 --> 0:45:20.520
<v Speaker 1>they were selling for a hundred thousand dollars. So you

0:45:20.560 --> 0:45:24.359
<v Speaker 1>go back into the studio and you're, you know, I'm

0:45:24.360 --> 0:45:27.840
<v Speaker 1>making my sketches and stuff like that, and I'm looking

0:45:27.840 --> 0:45:31.239
<v Speaker 1>at and thinking, well, why not do a couple more,

0:45:31.560 --> 0:45:34.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, why not? You know, it's like all of

0:45:34.400 --> 0:45:36.960
<v Speaker 1>a sudden, they're starting to turn into currency, you know,

0:45:37.120 --> 0:45:40.359
<v Speaker 1>and which is a totally different sort of way of

0:45:40.400 --> 0:45:42.759
<v Speaker 1>thinking about and how much and how hard is it

0:45:42.840 --> 0:45:45.600
<v Speaker 1>for you to resist? Because I was joking with a

0:45:45.600 --> 0:45:48.480
<v Speaker 1>friend of mine and I said, what it must be

0:45:48.560 --> 0:45:52.239
<v Speaker 1>like in your world where you're completely self determining, where

0:45:52.239 --> 0:45:55.360
<v Speaker 1>you're completely self generating, I get kind of amazed. I

0:45:55.400 --> 0:45:57.160
<v Speaker 1>sit there and say, Eric Fisher is the kind of

0:45:57.160 --> 0:45:59.399
<v Speaker 1>guy where if he and April are like laying there

0:45:59.400 --> 0:46:01.560
<v Speaker 1>in bed on Sunday, I mean, I have a very

0:46:01.640 --> 0:46:06.360
<v Speaker 1>kind of a silly improv comedy view of April Gornick

0:46:06.520 --> 0:46:08.920
<v Speaker 1>and Eric Fisher are lying in bed on a Sunday

0:46:08.920 --> 0:46:11.719
<v Speaker 1>reading the New York Times, and she turns in and goes, Eric,

0:46:12.880 --> 0:46:17.000
<v Speaker 1>I'd so love to go Hella skiing. And You're like, sure, baby,

0:46:17.440 --> 0:46:19.240
<v Speaker 1>let's go Hell. And you go out and you paint

0:46:19.239 --> 0:46:23.080
<v Speaker 1>a painting hell of skiing trip. I mean, like, like,

0:46:23.120 --> 0:46:24.960
<v Speaker 1>you can you can just go do a painting. You're

0:46:25.040 --> 0:46:28.360
<v Speaker 1>Eric ficial and running out the door, whether you like,

0:46:28.360 --> 0:46:34.279
<v Speaker 1>Like how hard this fantasy that when my muse left

0:46:34.360 --> 0:46:39.120
<v Speaker 1>me I would still be able to make product right,

0:46:39.200 --> 0:46:42.640
<v Speaker 1>that I that that I wouldn't be making art anymore,

0:46:42.680 --> 0:46:45.600
<v Speaker 1>but I'd be making things that look like art, and

0:46:45.640 --> 0:46:50.720
<v Speaker 1>that that was okay, right, And so there were times

0:46:50.760 --> 0:46:55.719
<v Speaker 1>in my process where I got stuck. I I the

0:46:55.760 --> 0:46:59.279
<v Speaker 1>inspiration was gone, and I was sure that it now,

0:46:59.560 --> 0:47:02.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, I mused my inspiration and had left right

0:47:02.680 --> 0:47:07.160
<v Speaker 1>a total blockage kind of thing. And what I found,

0:47:07.200 --> 0:47:11.000
<v Speaker 1>to my horror, was that it didn't just leave my head,

0:47:12.160 --> 0:47:16.440
<v Speaker 1>it left my hand, and that I actually couldn't paint anymore.

0:47:16.440 --> 0:47:20.960
<v Speaker 1>I I couldn't draw, I couldn't make something look like something,

0:47:21.320 --> 0:47:25.719
<v Speaker 1>and that was terrifying. Right, That's that's like your worst nightmare.

0:47:26.640 --> 0:47:31.680
<v Speaker 1>And so I have that memory, which keeps it gives

0:47:31.719 --> 0:47:36.440
<v Speaker 1>me somewhat, you know, focused on on staying to true

0:47:36.480 --> 0:47:41.160
<v Speaker 1>to my ultimate goal. So you're there. So what's the

0:47:41.239 --> 0:47:43.759
<v Speaker 1>longest period you went you didn't paint. It's it's not

0:47:43.800 --> 0:47:47.279
<v Speaker 1>so much that I didn't paint. I kept trying like

0:47:47.320 --> 0:47:50.239
<v Speaker 1>a bulldog one and I just keep trying to go

0:47:50.320 --> 0:47:54.440
<v Speaker 1>through it. It's just it's dead, dead, dead. So my

0:47:54.520 --> 0:47:58.319
<v Speaker 1>question for you is do you find that And I've

0:47:58.360 --> 0:48:00.840
<v Speaker 1>seen this with myself and other people, where when the

0:48:00.920 --> 0:48:04.560
<v Speaker 1>muse goes away when you lapse into a period of

0:48:04.719 --> 0:48:08.239
<v Speaker 1>product versus art. When the artist, and that's a very

0:48:08.280 --> 0:48:12.560
<v Speaker 1>real condition, struggles. I found people where it affects them

0:48:12.680 --> 0:48:18.040
<v Speaker 1>in many ways. It affects their appetite, their sexual appetite,

0:48:18.400 --> 0:48:22.160
<v Speaker 1>their physical health, their emotional health, their sleep. I mean,

0:48:22.200 --> 0:48:24.960
<v Speaker 1>it really really really damages them and it hurts them.

0:48:25.040 --> 0:48:27.640
<v Speaker 1>Have you gone through periods of that where you were like, really, really,

0:48:28.239 --> 0:48:31.080
<v Speaker 1>I thought you were losing it? Would you doet out

0:48:31.080 --> 0:48:36.319
<v Speaker 1>of it? I ultimately painted the way out of it?

0:48:36.360 --> 0:48:39.560
<v Speaker 1>But you know, rely relied a lot on April to

0:48:40.440 --> 0:48:43.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, keep me sort of above. So you bring

0:48:43.760 --> 0:48:45.800
<v Speaker 1>me to where? So you bring me to where are

0:48:45.840 --> 0:48:49.080
<v Speaker 1>the One of our last two questions is, let's go

0:48:49.160 --> 0:48:51.840
<v Speaker 1>to Halifax and you meet April And where are you

0:48:51.880 --> 0:48:53.760
<v Speaker 1>at your life when you meet April? And what happened?

0:48:54.600 --> 0:48:59.279
<v Speaker 1>I'm twenty seven years old or something like that. I'm

0:48:59.320 --> 0:49:05.320
<v Speaker 1>teaching at this art school. It actually is a very

0:49:05.360 --> 0:49:11.640
<v Speaker 1>sort of advanced thinking, a place that like cal Arts

0:49:11.760 --> 0:49:14.640
<v Speaker 1>where I went to school, Nova Scotia College of Art

0:49:14.640 --> 0:49:17.000
<v Speaker 1>and Design was also sort of based on the most

0:49:17.120 --> 0:49:22.920
<v Speaker 1>radical art of the moment um anti painting. So they

0:49:23.000 --> 0:49:28.279
<v Speaker 1>hired me as a young, untested teacher, simply because they'd

0:49:28.320 --> 0:49:33.160
<v Speaker 1>fired somebody mid semester, needed someone right away. They could

0:49:33.200 --> 0:49:35.799
<v Speaker 1>care less about painting, so they took a risk on

0:49:35.880 --> 0:49:40.200
<v Speaker 1>this guy based on what my former teacher had recommended.

0:49:41.160 --> 0:49:45.600
<v Speaker 1>I get this job. I'm in Halifax, Nova, Scotia. I

0:49:45.680 --> 0:49:49.080
<v Speaker 1>go up there with my wife at the time, spend

0:49:49.280 --> 0:49:53.719
<v Speaker 1>three months teaching there. She lapsing into a deep depression

0:49:53.760 --> 0:50:00.600
<v Speaker 1>because she she's rootless and being ignored. And I'm following

0:50:00.600 --> 0:50:04.000
<v Speaker 1>you basically and following me, and I'm not sensitive enough

0:50:04.040 --> 0:50:08.239
<v Speaker 1>to it. You know what that sacrifice was. And you know,

0:50:08.280 --> 0:50:11.640
<v Speaker 1>we moved back to Chicago in the summer and I

0:50:11.680 --> 0:50:14.279
<v Speaker 1>get rehired, and she announces she didn't want to go

0:50:14.320 --> 0:50:20.399
<v Speaker 1>back and our marriage is over. And that following year,

0:50:21.080 --> 0:50:25.239
<v Speaker 1>I meet April. I didn't plan on falling in love.

0:50:25.320 --> 0:50:30.840
<v Speaker 1>I just planned on having sex. And shame on you

0:50:31.040 --> 0:50:39.840
<v Speaker 1>error call me shallow. Anyway, one thing led to another,

0:50:40.160 --> 0:50:43.320
<v Speaker 1>and and what it was was I was actually going

0:50:43.360 --> 0:50:49.880
<v Speaker 1>through a very sort of complicated set of emotions for uh,

0:50:49.920 --> 0:50:53.200
<v Speaker 1>you know, I had never mourned the death of my mother.

0:50:54.480 --> 0:50:57.319
<v Speaker 1>I had just broken up with, you know, split with

0:50:57.360 --> 0:51:01.400
<v Speaker 1>my wife kind of thing. I was now falling in

0:51:01.880 --> 0:51:07.120
<v Speaker 1>love not wanting to with April. My work was going

0:51:07.120 --> 0:51:10.200
<v Speaker 1>through a transition where I was giving up the artists.

0:51:10.239 --> 0:51:12.560
<v Speaker 1>I thought I was going to be for the artist

0:51:12.680 --> 0:51:16.400
<v Speaker 1>I ultimately became. And that period of doubt threw me

0:51:16.440 --> 0:51:22.960
<v Speaker 1>into a kind of series of anxiety attacks panic modes

0:51:23.080 --> 0:51:28.880
<v Speaker 1>where I really began to have some serious psychological issues.

0:51:29.000 --> 0:51:33.480
<v Speaker 1>I was dissociating and you know, and ended up on

0:51:34.040 --> 0:51:36.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, any psychotic medicine and stuff like that to

0:51:37.160 --> 0:51:44.719
<v Speaker 1>stabilize me. Meanwhile, I'm teaching. Meanwhile, you're up showing these young,

0:51:44.800 --> 0:51:48.480
<v Speaker 1>impressionable minds the world through your lives. Let me show

0:51:48.520 --> 0:51:50.800
<v Speaker 1>you the world through my clumb up and soaked eyes.

0:51:51.480 --> 0:51:54.040
<v Speaker 1>And I was only a couple of years older than

0:51:54.080 --> 0:51:56.719
<v Speaker 1>them to begin with. Your young teach and I had

0:51:56.880 --> 0:51:59.800
<v Speaker 1>I had never been taught technique. So I'm teaching you

0:52:00.440 --> 0:52:02.959
<v Speaker 1>do Georgie thing like your teacher were doing at cal Arts.

0:52:03.160 --> 0:52:05.080
<v Speaker 1>Was that or that day come and gone that day?

0:52:07.239 --> 0:52:11.880
<v Speaker 1>You know, to some extent, I was definitely going through

0:52:12.000 --> 0:52:15.839
<v Speaker 1>several women in the in the student body, but not

0:52:15.920 --> 0:52:20.839
<v Speaker 1>all at the same moment. But um, it was a sacrifice. Yeah,

0:52:20.920 --> 0:52:23.640
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's a you know, it's a small isolated

0:52:23.680 --> 0:52:27.520
<v Speaker 1>community that winters are harsh up there Skilligan's Island. Yeah,

0:52:27.719 --> 0:52:30.440
<v Speaker 1>and when the skipper runs into Ginger and Marianne, we

0:52:30.440 --> 0:52:32.680
<v Speaker 1>can only talk about the weather for so many times

0:52:32.960 --> 0:52:35.440
<v Speaker 1>because then the title charts, So go ahead. So the

0:52:35.440 --> 0:52:39.080
<v Speaker 1>skipper runs into Ginger and marian Yeah, and ultimately ran

0:52:39.280 --> 0:52:42.879
<v Speaker 1>ran into April. And uh, she stuck with me through

0:52:42.960 --> 0:52:47.919
<v Speaker 1>this time, which was really difficult, and in a kind

0:52:47.920 --> 0:52:51.560
<v Speaker 1>of way that you know, I just couldn't imagine there

0:52:51.560 --> 0:52:56.920
<v Speaker 1>being anybody else. She's actually my my greatest, most clear

0:52:57.000 --> 0:53:00.000
<v Speaker 1>scene critic, your most prevalent subject. If you paint her

0:53:00.040 --> 0:53:03.960
<v Speaker 1>her more than any other person. Yes, yeah, I've painted

0:53:03.960 --> 0:53:07.759
<v Speaker 1>her a lot. I've painted her in in disguised ways,

0:53:07.800 --> 0:53:10.239
<v Speaker 1>and I've painted her in ways where you can see

0:53:10.239 --> 0:53:14.719
<v Speaker 1>it's her. Um. So, now you are a very well

0:53:14.760 --> 0:53:19.040
<v Speaker 1>known man. You and your wife are a very admired

0:53:19.120 --> 0:53:22.040
<v Speaker 1>couple in a community that you live in. And I

0:53:22.080 --> 0:53:24.520
<v Speaker 1>want to ask you, uh, you know, a why do

0:53:24.600 --> 0:53:28.000
<v Speaker 1>you live out here? Particularly you could escape, like a

0:53:28.040 --> 0:53:31.440
<v Speaker 1>lot of great artists, finally won't have real anonymity in peace.

0:53:31.480 --> 0:53:33.960
<v Speaker 1>You can go live in Italy or anywhere you want

0:53:33.960 --> 0:53:37.120
<v Speaker 1>to go. Yeah. I think there was a moment a

0:53:37.120 --> 0:53:40.319
<v Speaker 1>while back where I kind of looked around and went, oh,

0:53:40.360 --> 0:53:43.120
<v Speaker 1>my god, you know this is this is where I

0:53:43.160 --> 0:53:47.279
<v Speaker 1>grew up. I'm in a different relationship to it. But

0:53:47.480 --> 0:53:51.640
<v Speaker 1>I but it's definitely, you know, more of a suburban

0:53:51.680 --> 0:53:56.399
<v Speaker 1>than an urban environment and a and a suburban kind

0:53:56.400 --> 0:54:01.520
<v Speaker 1>of rhythm to it. But everybody needs a sense of community,

0:54:01.520 --> 0:54:06.000
<v Speaker 1>needs a sense of place where where they belong. Right, Um,

0:54:06.040 --> 0:54:08.719
<v Speaker 1>I grew up on Long Island. You grew up on

0:54:08.719 --> 0:54:12.880
<v Speaker 1>Long Island. I used to come out here in the summertime.

0:54:13.760 --> 0:54:18.919
<v Speaker 1>It's familiar territory, etcetera. It seems natural in a way

0:54:19.000 --> 0:54:23.799
<v Speaker 1>to want to be here. Ah. So is it safe

0:54:23.840 --> 0:54:27.319
<v Speaker 1>to say, just to conclude this, if you will, that

0:54:28.160 --> 0:54:33.160
<v Speaker 1>the eponymous bad boy of the title still has his doubts,

0:54:33.200 --> 0:54:37.600
<v Speaker 1>still has his anxiety, still has his fears and issues,

0:54:37.640 --> 0:54:40.520
<v Speaker 1>and so he just just learned to handle them differently.

0:54:41.840 --> 0:54:45.960
<v Speaker 1>I think that's true. Yeah, absolutely, they don't go away.

0:54:46.000 --> 0:54:49.520
<v Speaker 1>I thought that the older you got, the easier, at God,

0:54:49.760 --> 0:54:52.759
<v Speaker 1>it turns out the opposite. We just learned how to

0:54:52.800 --> 0:54:57.320
<v Speaker 1>manage it. You just manage it. Yeah, Yeah, that's true.

0:54:58.080 --> 0:55:01.240
<v Speaker 1>Eric Fischel's work Hangs and Museic ms and galleries around

0:55:01.239 --> 0:55:05.080
<v Speaker 1>the world and on our website Here's the Thing dot org.

0:55:05.560 --> 0:55:07.840
<v Speaker 1>And if you happen to find yourself in New York City,

0:55:08.160 --> 0:55:11.120
<v Speaker 1>you can see his glass mosaic entitled The Garden of

0:55:11.160 --> 0:55:16.000
<v Speaker 1>Circus Delights beneath Madison Square Garden in Penn Station officials

0:55:16.080 --> 0:55:22.200
<v Speaker 1>inspiration for the piece Dante's Inferno Here's the Thing. You

0:55:22.239 --> 0:55:25.960
<v Speaker 1>can hear more in depth conversations in our archive, from

0:55:26.080 --> 0:55:30.680
<v Speaker 1>artists to policymakers to performers like Radioheads frontman Tom Yorke

0:55:30.960 --> 0:55:34.440
<v Speaker 1>on performing. You know, I often asked myself, why the

0:55:34.520 --> 0:55:39.200
<v Speaker 1>hell would you put yourself through this? Because it's very stressful.

0:55:39.360 --> 0:55:41.640
<v Speaker 1>It's a lot of pressure, and for me mentally, I

0:55:41.840 --> 0:55:45.600
<v Speaker 1>just build myself up to it in my head gradually

0:55:45.840 --> 0:55:48.880
<v Speaker 1>and it sounds really precious, but it messes with my head.

0:55:49.680 --> 0:55:56.440
<v Speaker 1>Listen to more at Here's the Thing dot org. This

0:55:56.520 --> 0:55:59.000
<v Speaker 1>is Alec Baldwin and you're listening to Here's the Thing.

0:55:59.360 --> 0:56:03.240
<v Speaker 1>Produced by Emily Boutine and Kathy Russo with Chris Bannon,

0:56:03.440 --> 0:56:07.880
<v Speaker 1>Jim Briggs, ed Herbstman, Melanie Hoops, Monica Hopkins, Trey Ka,

0:56:08.400 --> 0:56:12.960
<v Speaker 1>Sharon Machee, and Lou Okowski. Thanks to Larry Josephson and

0:56:13.239 --> 0:56:14.440
<v Speaker 1>the Radio Foundation,