WEBVTT - Part Two: The Dumbest Colonizer in History 0:00:03.560 --> 0:00:07.920 Internet. Shit. I'm Robert Evans again, still badly introducing my 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:13.920 podcast Behind the Bastards about bad people, terrible ones. Miles 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:17.800 still my guest. Yes, still ashamed to be here after 0:00:17.840 --> 0:00:20.160 that introduction? How are you doing? Oh? Not than that 0:00:20.239 --> 0:00:23.239 intro gave me life quite the opposite. Oh yeah that 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:25.200 it didn't look like it. It looked like you died 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:27.040 a little bit inside. Oh that's just because I got 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:30.880 an email, say, oh saying I owe money for car 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:34.560 insurance or something. Oh man, I have some good news 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:37.879 about Geico, but I forget what it is. Can you 0:00:37.920 --> 0:00:41.640 save me fifteen percent or more? I don't know. Okay, 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:43.720 well i'll test that theory. I'm going to go to 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:46.400 the insurance provider and I'm going to enter code bastards 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:49.640 and see what I get. Yeah. You just you find 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:52.840 someone who sells insurance and you you paint or carve 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:56.280 that into them, and you'll get a discount on your insurance. 0:00:56.320 --> 0:01:01.120 That's the way it works. Fantastic. Yeah, you know, I'm sorry. 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:03.760 I'm a little bit distracted right now. My friend Michael 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:05.680 had a really rough night and I've just kind of 0:01:05.720 --> 0:01:10.480 been trying to text him through it. Ohe Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:01:10.520 --> 0:01:13.440 You know, he's a nice guy. Every now and then 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:18.720 he just kind of you know, we all make bad choices. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:21.080 he's trying to buy an election. I think there are 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:23.440 just some women who maybe didn't like maybe a couple 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:28.600 jokes I made. It was my favorite line. Yeah, this 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.600 is the night after the the the debate. We'll try 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:33.360 not to talk about it too much because we have 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:37.280 an even more problematic man than Michael Bloomberg to discuss. 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:41.000 I want to talk about old Willie Walker here. Yeah, yeah, 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:46.200 Bill Walker, will Helm Walker. So when we left off 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:48.560 with our story, William Walker had just captured a new 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:51.600 country by stealing a town from Mexico and then murdering 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:54.040 several of its people when they dared to say, hey, 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:59.760 we're maybe not okay with us, right, Yeah, And I 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:02.760 got like, you gotta have an element Maybe respects the 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:05.400 wrong word, but something for a guy who like captures 0:02:05.400 --> 0:02:07.200 a small town and is like, I got me a 0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:10.399 country now, I have I have respect in the way 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:12.400 that I would have like respect, like if it were 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:15.120 a script and it wasn't real and it was for 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:19.320 the pure comedy, I would have respect for that character. Yeah, 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:22.440 I'm like, this is great for the plot. Yeah, there's 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:25.760 like a fun Will Ferrell movie. And in aspects of this, 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:29.120 if you trim out the racism and slavery and murder, 0:02:29.240 --> 0:02:32.959 yeah yeah, Will Ferrell would be the right guy to 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:36.959 play this dude. Yeah yeah. Oh he's big, yeah, big guy. 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:40.600 I could see like Sam Rockwell too. Oh, Sam Rockwell 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:43.000 would be fun. He's like that might be better. Yeah, 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:46.200 Will Ferrell like there's a there's like a silent confidence 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:48.760 to him. Sam Rockwell has the range to like tap 0:02:48.840 --> 0:02:51.560 into like a guy who is trying to prove his 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:56.000 like hero Grandpa wrong. Yeah, He's got that like nervous 0:02:56.360 --> 0:02:59.600 like energy thing like that, like say yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:07.040 I think you're right. Sam rockwells well a lot of comedy. 0:03:09.160 --> 0:03:12.760 I'd like to open part two this episode with a 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:15.760 paragraph from the book Filibusters and Financiers, which is again 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:18.960 a nineteen sixteen book that is kind of like bemusicly 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:22.200 positive towards William Walker and the ideas of manifest Destiny. 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:26.360 It includes a paragraph describing the general character of the 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:29.480 American man during this period of time, and I find 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:31.960 this passage really insightful for trying to get into the 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:34.840 head of like what a lot of people, like the 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:36.840 people back at home who thought what Walker was doing 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:39.800 in Mexico was awesome, Like, what's kind of going on 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:42.200 in their brains? I think this is an interesting paragraph. Oy, 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:46.000 So again, this is writing about the American man in general. 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:49.480 In the eighteen fifties quote he was always sure that 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:51.640 he was right. The belief of the Americans in their 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:54.320 own excellence was one of the things which most impressed 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:57.080 and puzzled the foreign visitor. Success in the struggle for 0:03:57.120 --> 0:04:00.880 existence in the New World had produced unbounded egotism self confidence. 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:03.840 Every vigorous boy passes through such a stage as he 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:06.800 approaches adolescence. To other members of his family and to 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:09.720 his neighbors, he seems something of a bully. In this period, 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:12.840 other nations entertained a similar opinion of young America. All 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:15.160 the world regarded this country as a braggart and a bully, 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:18.839 and the estimate was not entirely unjust. It is consoling, however, 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:21.600 to record that our faults, numerous as they were, were 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:24.919 symptoms of youth and superabundant health, rather than signs of 0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:32.039 senile degeneracy. So we were giant dicks during this period 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:35.240 of time, but like we were young or whatever. Yeah, yeah, 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:38.839 that's what happens. You get to get some genocidal colonizer 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:43.200 thoughts and he ACKed him out. Okay, sorry, Yeah, it's amazing. 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:47.560 I love that paragraph. So depending on which source you read, 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:49.520 you're gonna get different takes in terms of like what 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:53.200 William's attitudes towards slavery during this period of time. Some 0:04:53.240 --> 0:04:55.479 sources paint him is kind of indifferent to it in 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:57.760 his early life, like obviously his parents had slaves, but 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:01.359 he wasn't a slaveholder. His magazine was kind of for 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:04.320 the time and place kind of soft on abolition Like 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:07.400 obviously they ran ads for slaves, but they weren't like 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:08.840 like a lot of papers in that period of time 0:05:08.839 --> 0:05:11.360 would have been like abolitionist should be murdered for so, 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:14.240 like they weren't on that into things, right, right, So 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:19.520 I guess less Fox News, more CNN. Yeah, yeah, HE'SNBC 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:22.479 whatever it is. Yeah, I take him away, really, Yeah, 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:24.560 we'll take your money and we'll half call it out, 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:26.720 but we'll take your money. Yeah. I think we can 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:29.599 all rest assured that both CNN and MSNBC in the 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:32.200 eighteen fifties would have been both sides saying the hell 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:35.640 out of slavery. Oh, yes, yes, they're gonna be like, hey, 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:37.160 you know it's it's like, who is it? Was it? 0:05:37.279 --> 0:05:38.880 Andrew Jackson is like, hey, you got a wolf by 0:05:38.880 --> 0:05:40.640 the years? You know what? Do you know? You're gonna 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:42.960 let it go? I don't know, man, maybe maybe stop 0:05:43.000 --> 0:05:46.280 grabbing wolves? Yeah, Andrew, Andrew, why are we grabbing wolves? 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:49.240 You sick? Fuck you grab a wolf by the years 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:52.000 and nothing's gonna know what? Now, let it go. You 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:54.520 deserve to be mulled to death. Yeah. Yeah, it's just 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:56.880 like somebody fucking with a wolf and big like, there's 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:59.240 no way to stop this wolf from being angry at me. 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:02.840 Hold on, you're grabbing it by the fucking hu was that? 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:05.120 Wasn't that Andrew Jackson who said that? I think? I 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:09.719 think so subodous Jackson. Yeah, it definitely sounds Jackson eight. So, 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:12.919 whatever the case, in terms of William's views on slavery, 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:14.760 by the time he wound up in Sonora, he had 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:19.839 transformed into a strict supporter of America's peculiar institution. A 0:06:19.839 --> 0:06:23.359 write up I found in the Pin Gazette notes he 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:25.120 may have had a change of heart or may simply 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:27.960 have recognized the usefulness of pro slavery sentiment and gaining 0:06:27.960 --> 0:06:31.160 support and recruits for his filibustering. The most ardent advocates 0:06:31.200 --> 0:06:34.680 of Manifest Destiny were Southerners, who viewed expansion and annexation 0:06:34.800 --> 0:06:38.880 as opportunities to establish new slave states, tipping the tenuous 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:41.640 balance with the abolitionist North. Most of Walker's in the 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:44.080 stees On the Mexican Adventure had been recruited from the 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:47.240 slave states of Tennessee and Kentucky. Once in control, Walker 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:50.359 borrowed the laws of Louisiana for his new republic, making 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:54.359 slavery legal by default. So we're gonna talk about that 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:57.120 a little bit more later. But yeah, well i'll astual 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.920 right now. Scott Martel, Williams's best biographer and the author 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:02.680 William Walker's Wars, It makes a point of noting that 0:07:02.760 --> 0:07:05.000 Walker could have just as easily stolen the laws and 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:08.039 constitution of California because he'd worked as a lawyer in 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:11.000 both states, so he knew the laws just as well. Right, 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:15.600 But California didn't allow slavery, right, which suggests that Walker 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:18.480 was explicitly motivated to make a new slave state in 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.800 northern Mexico. And it's interesting because, like Walker himself never 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:24.080 actually owned a slave, So maybe this was all about 0:07:24.080 --> 0:07:26.480 trying to recruit more Southerners to come to his banner, 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:30.640 oh right, being like, hey, we're we're slave friendly. Yeah, 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:34.040 we're slave friendly. We're going to make another Texas underneath Texas. 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:37.480 It's going to be even Texas or oh wow, yeah 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:41.960 you imagine, yes, yeah, I guess. I'm I'm having trouble 0:07:41.960 --> 0:07:44.520 even processing that concept, but I'm going to trust you 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:49.600 on that. Yeah. So he was not ideologically committed to slavery, 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:52.840 at least in his writing in prior, where he'd supported 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:55.920 slavery and slave states under the ages of democracy, which 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:57.840 you know, ignores the fact that the actual slave people 0:07:57.880 --> 0:08:00.720 couldn't vote. And this kind of pre to be like, 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.480 this line of reasoning would prove to be regular behavior 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:07.160 for Walker. He justified his invasion of Mexico on humanitarian grounds, 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:09.920 citing the raids by indigenous people and the unfair taxes 0:08:09.960 --> 0:08:12.960 taken by Mexico, without actually ever talking to those people 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:15.480 or furnishing any evidence that he wanted them to free 0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:19.200 him or him to free them. Yeah. In parsing out 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:24.160 the actual motivations, of William Walker personally. Martell Citeses historian 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:27.119 Frank Soul who wrote that Walker was quote a brave, 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:29.760 highly educated, and able man. Whatever maybe thought of his 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:32.640 discretion and true motives of conduct in the expedition, he 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.120 seems to have taken a high moral and political position 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:37.960 in the affair, though his professions were peculiar in their propriety, 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:41.360 not readily admitted by downright sticklers for equity and natural law. 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:43.800 A few of his coagitators were also men of a 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:46.320 keen sense of honor, who forgot or he did not 0:08:46.480 --> 0:08:48.960 in the excitement of the adventure the opinions of mere 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:51.600 honest men upon the subject. But the vast majority of 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:54.160 Walker's followers can only be viewed as desperate actors in 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:57.319 a true filibustering or robbing speculation. The good of the 0:08:57.360 --> 0:09:00.400 wretched and apache oppressed scenorians was not in their thoughts. 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:03.520 If they succeeded, they might lay the sheer foundations of fortunes. 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:06.240 If they failed, it was only time and perhaps life lost. 0:09:06.520 --> 0:09:08.920 In either event, there was grand excitement in the game. 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:13.679 Yeah that could I thought you were reading a description 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:18.080 like before the Second Iraq War or something. Holy Shau 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:20.960 nother thing's ever changed. Yeah, it's like, yeah, look, here's 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:24.040 here's the flow chart. Dude, does this country have something 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:27.000 you want? Yes? Are they willing to let you take it? Yes? 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:29.680 Or no? If it says no, okay, invade on the 0:09:29.679 --> 0:09:33.800 grounds of humanitarian crisis. And it's just that, right, Yeah, 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:35.600 And you have a couple of guys in there who 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:38.440 really do think they're they're doing the humanitarian thing, and 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:40.400 you shove those dudes out front because it makes for 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:43.120 a good look. But ninety percent of everybody's just like, 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:45.240 I want to get what's fucking mind? And they got 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:46.719 out of this way? What do I got to say? 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:49.000 What do I got to say to get over there? Yeah? Yeah, fine, fine, fine, 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:51.640 fine fine fine, yeah. Ye yeah, that that humanitarian for sure. 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:55.080 It's interesting that Walker just stole all the laws and 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:58.280 legal code of Louisiana because you might expect that, as 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:00.599 a former newspaper editor and a call a man of 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:03.160 letters and a lawyer, that like he would have written 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:05.920 something in the founding document of his innor nation, like 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:08.839 something at all, anything to like state out what its 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.960 values or beliefs or goals were, right, like the Declaration 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.400 of Independence or the Bill of rights, and it says 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:16.880 a lot that Walker ignored doing any of that and 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.600 just was like, ah, we'll just be like Louisiana. Yeah. 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:21.800 I guess that's usually like a time for like an 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:24.920 egomaniac to like really do a nice solo on yourself, 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:28.520 being like, oh, yeah, here step one of my constitution 0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:30.800 of my new country I'm doing, where he's just kind 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:32.840 of like, fuck it, I'm just gonna steal my I'm 0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:35.560 not going to do my homework. Yeah. Maybe so, I 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:38.480 guess that's less about him really wanting to start his 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:42.480 own country and more just the idea that he could. Yeah. 0:10:42.720 --> 0:10:45.679 I think it was more just like he wanted. I 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:48.319 suspect his goal was to just try to conquer this 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:51.200 chunk of Mexico and then give it to like have 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:53.920 it be annexed by the United States and get fucking 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:56.160 rich as shit and be the founding father of a 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:58.080 new state. I really think that was kind of his 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:03.080 end goal here. He's like a fucking Freemanni shit. Yeah, yeah, 0:11:03.160 --> 0:11:05.400 exactly like it. You can tell like there's a I 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:07.160 think it's probably a good idea to look at kind 0:11:07.160 --> 0:11:09.520 of John Brown as an example of another kind of 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:12.480 deluded guy who had like dreams of setting up his 0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:15.960 own state with a tiny number of men. And like 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:19.040 the first thing Brown did before he even got militarily 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.760 involved was right up like a constitution and a statement 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:23.760 of values and all these things that like someone who 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:28.160 actually believes something does with bark on a plan like this. Yeah, yeah, 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:30.640 Walker does not believe in shit other than getting rich 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:33.480 and famous. I think that's where I land on this. 0:11:33.600 --> 0:11:36.080 So he really is the modern American. I think we're 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:38.560 strying to see this. Like there's not even like the 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:41.360 romance of it all like some of these other figures have. 0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:44.760 It's purely yeah, no, man, this is lucrative and it's 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:46.960 like weird to say, but he doesn't even have the 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:51.200 kind of ethical commitment to love slavery. Like he never 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:54.040 owns a slave, He doesn't care that much. He's using 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:56.200 that because he knows it'll get him recruits, but like 0:11:56.240 --> 0:12:00.720 he doesn't even he's not even committed to that right on. Yeah, 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:03.600 it's a just as it's weird, Like it would honestly 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:07.280 be a little bit I would still I mean, differently 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:10.640 gross if he was like a committed slaveholder, but instead 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:12.920 he's just sort of like using this really gross thing 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.160 other people are committed to to further his own post. 0:12:15.200 --> 0:12:20.000 It's so weird, just total master manipulator. Yeah. Anyway, back 0:12:20.000 --> 0:12:23.200 to the story. So where we are when we left off, 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:25.800 is he they captured the town of Lapause shot, some 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:28.959 people captured the new governor, who they found on a boat, 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:32.040 and then sailed away from the city and towards Cabo 0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:38.160 San Lucas. Yeah. So they set up a camp outside 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:40.960 of Cabo San Lucas and prepared to affect their invasion, 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:44.440 and unfortunately for them, the locals had heard all about 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:46.480 what they were doing in Lapause and had organized a 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:50.520 militia to resist. Oh hell yeah. Yeah. Now, Walker had 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:53.959 been expecting a few volunteers to arrive from San Francisco 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:56.680 to like show up his numbers, but they didn't get 0:12:56.679 --> 0:12:58.800 there in time, and after a few days he decided 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:00.800 he had to move his new nation capital for the 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:04.840 third time in like two weeks. He hadn't even conquered 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:07.560 so did he even step foot step foot or he 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:11.640 just like he's gonna be He was like right this boat. Yeah, 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:14.080 they were like camped outside and he was like, oh ship, 0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:16.160 there's like way more of them than us, and they're 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:18.520 actually ready now, Like I can't just stumble into the 0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.480 mayor's office and Sam at church? Yeah, like wave a muscar? 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:25.760 Who's in charge? Yeah? Nah me? Now so so then 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:28.240 he had to pack his ship up yep and look 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:31.800 for capital three point zero. Looks for capital three point oh. 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:34.679 So you're in Baja, right, you're in Baja. You're looking 0:13:34.679 --> 0:13:36.840 for you want it to be on the coast, obviously, 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.560 Like you're in Baja, you gotta be on the fucking coast. 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:43.800 Cabo is not working out. Where do you? Where do you? 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:46.920 Where do you go? I don't know? I mean, like, 0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:50.200 do you It sounds like if you're smart, you're like, 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:54.679 all right, I've made Mexico way too hot for me. No, no, no, 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:57.280 He's still He's still sticking with them. He's still he 0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:00.320 is committed to Mexico. This is a fucking idiot. And 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:03.959 the reason this is hysterical close. The reason this is 0:14:04.040 --> 0:14:06.520 hysterical will make less sense to people who do they 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:09.040 haven't lived in southern California. But he rolls to fucking 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:19.280 in Sonata. Baby there he is hell yeah, baby Today 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:22.400 known for its beautiful beaches, pleasant weather, and dirt sheep 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:25.160 drug store tramadol in Sonata was at that point the 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:29.560 furthest northern settlements on the BOP. And it's like, I 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:33.320 love en Sonata. Oh yeah, I mean everyone knows you 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:36.240 go there. You better learn the generic name for prescription drugs. 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:40.080 And you're down there. Yeah, you're damn right. No. So, 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:42.960 its proximity to San Diego would secure his flank and 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:46.120 provide him with an easy route to accept new American volunteers. 0:14:46.720 --> 0:14:49.640 His forces landed in in Sonata on November thirtieth, eighteen 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:52.560 fifty three, and seized the town without a fight because 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:56.720 it was barely a town. Shortly there, yeah, there was, yeah, 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:59.240 shortly thereafter, he posted a message in the center of 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:02.280 town explaining his intentions to his new citizens. He sent 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:04.600 a copy of this message to the San Diego Herald. 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:06.680 And I have to note that this message to his 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:09.240 new citizens and in Sonata was written in English. Of course, 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:16.880 I mean, yes, of course, of course. You're like, yeah, 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.200 I don't know what here. This is what I'm telling you, 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:21.240 and figure it out. Oh, I don't know what they 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:26.200 speak in Sonata. What is it French? What is it? 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:29.640 I don't know that one. Uh, he argued in his 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:32.400 letter that the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which had ended 0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:35.120 the Mexican American War, had established a state of affairs 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:38.680 whereby Mexico could not adequately care for its western provinces, 0:15:38.680 --> 0:15:42.480 since they were like cut off from the rest of Mexico. Furthermore, quote, 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:44.960 the moral and social ties which bound it to Mexico 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:48.080 have been even weaker and more dissolute than the physical. Hence, 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:50.640 to develop the resources of California and to affect a 0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:57.440 proper social organization therein, it was necessary to make it independent. Independent, hmmm, hmmm. 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:02.040 Walker pointed out that Baja many natural resources which required 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:05.320 good government by white people in order to truly exploit, 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:10.960 and then Miles then he got then he got really racist. 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:16.680 Then he yeah, no, no, he fucking dives into it now, oh, Quote, 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:20.840 the territory on your Mexican rule would forever remain wild, 0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:24.280 half savage and uncultivated, covered with an indolent and half 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:27.680 civilized people desirous of keeping all foreigners from entering the 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:30.040 limits of the state. When the people of a territory 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:33.040 fail almost entirely to develop the resources nature has placed 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:36.560 at their command, the interests of civilization require others to 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:39.320 go in and possess the land they cannot, nor should 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:41.280 they be allowed to play the dog and the manger 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.480 and keep others from possessing what they have failed to 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:48.680 occupy and appropriate. Oh my god, m that is some 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:53.760 colonizer mentality there. Fucking I don't know if I'm like hi, 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:58.200 because I'm so fucking like it's so cringey to hear 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:01.080 it like that, or I'm maybe I'm sack actually high, 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:06.080 but I feel that cause of visceral sense. Oh, it's 0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:10.800 the real motivation behind all colonialism that some most colon 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:14.120 I particularly like most people who who write positively about 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:19.680 colonialism in like the twentieth century, covered up a bit more. Yeah, yeah, Like, oh, 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:22.119 you guys are too dumb and arcane to fucking know 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:24.080 what to do with this stuff. Therefore you need me 0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:26.520 to come in exploit it, give you nothing, and then 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:28.840 when you ask for something, I'll, you know, I'll say 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:30.639 you're a communist, and then I'll send it. Send some 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:33.600 people to the School of Americas. It's a little bit 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:36.879 like when I was younger and very drunk, sometimes I 0:17:36.880 --> 0:17:39.399 would go into restaurants and steal food from other people's 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:42.240 plates because I was too drunk to know that things 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:45.040 like property rights existed, and they weren't eating the food 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:51.480 while I was taking it, and so William Walker, Yeah, 0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:55.120 that's that's that's that's the that's the justifications Walker's using 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:57.399 you to that a drunk met you walk into a 0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:00.640 Chili's and you're just like, man, sometimes it was way 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:03.000 nicer than Chili's. I got some stories about a fucking 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:07.879 Buddha bar and uh fucking Kiev that are yeah anyway, wow, yeah. 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:11.800 So Walker argued that the Mexican government, which he had 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:14.400 fled two cities already in order to avoid, had given 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:16.679 up their claim to Baja by failing to protect it. 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:21.600 This is as he's fleeing from the Mexican military. Baja was, 0:18:21.680 --> 0:18:25.040 in his words, a waif on the waters, and Mexico 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:28.000 cannot complain if others take it and make it valuable. 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:31.760 What such a piece of shit, dude, the balls on 0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:34.760 this fucking guy. I know it's amazing. Oh well, if 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:36.679 it mattered so much, you would have fought for it. 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:39.600 So yeah, stop playing game. That's exactly what I yelled 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:42.160 at those people when I stole the food from their plates. Yeah, 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:44.879 that's like kind of like if like you, I've I 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:47.600 was in a relationship where someone broke up with me 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:51.399 to test if I would fight for their relationship. But 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:53.639 I that's that's a healthy way to deal with the 0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:56.760 relationship right there. I took it as I was respecting 0:18:56.800 --> 0:18:58.600 what their wishes were, and I was like, oh, if 0:18:58.640 --> 0:19:01.399 that's how you feel, like, okay, then sorry. And then 0:19:01.400 --> 0:19:03.960 her friend was like, she wanted you to fight for her, 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:07.040 and I was like, well, what the fuck? I was 0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:09.960 told a different thing. I'm sorry, Okay, but I guess 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:13.040 the same thing with Mexico. You didn't fight for her. Okay, 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:16.719 so it's mine now. Yes, yeah, William Walker is the 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:19.600 same as your ex girlfriend. I say that a lot. Yeah, 0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:21.280 I know you do. I'm glad we're going to get 0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:25.080 that in. Yeah. So in public dispatches, all this was 0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:28.280 framed in a mix of standard colonialist justifications like the 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:30.879 ones above and the ever present assertion that Walker and 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:34.520 his men were protecting the local Mexican people from dastardly 0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:38.240 dangerous natives. Now, there is no evidence that any of 0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:41.040 these people ever felt protected by him. In fact, since 0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:43.479 he and his men stole food and other supplies whileever 0:19:43.520 --> 0:19:46.480 they traveled, it is unlikely that the people of Insnata 0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:49.959 saw Walker's men is different from any other bandits. Yeah, 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:52.360 the best you can say for Walker and his soldiers 0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:55.560 is that they mostly rated the ranches of wealthy property owners. 0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:59.520 So hmm yeah. Now, one of the people that they 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:03.160 stole from these wealthy property owners in Ensenada was named 0:20:03.160 --> 0:20:07.800 Antonio Maria Malindres, and he fled his ransacked home while 0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:10.160 walker'smen were there stealing shit from it for the town 0:20:10.200 --> 0:20:13.080 of Santo Tomas, and succeeded in raising a small militia 0:20:13.160 --> 0:20:15.200 to fight back against what he assumed was just a 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:17.800 bunch of American horse themes from San Diego. Remember, like 0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:20.800 news doesn't travel at this period's he just sees these 0:20:20.800 --> 0:20:22.359 Americans with the guns. He's like, oh, they must have 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:24.840 These must just be criminals who crawl, which is like 0:20:24.880 --> 0:20:27.880 not wrong, But he doesn't realize they're trying to make 0:20:27.920 --> 0:20:30.200 a nation. He just thinks they're stealing shit random. I 0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:32.639 think this is a thought many people in Baja California 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:35.520 have had first, I guess centuries. Now they go, it's 0:20:35.520 --> 0:20:38.720 probably just a couple assholes from San Diego. I have 0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:42.800 embodied aspects of William Walker's behavior in the same city. 0:20:42.840 --> 0:20:45.960 And I apologize and have apologized repeatedly to the people 0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:48.960 of Ensenada for Oh wow, well you're you're a better 0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:51.840 man than he. Look if they if they weren't going 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:54.920 to properly make use of the great resources of tramadol 0:20:54.960 --> 0:21:01.160 in nature, it's just going to waste. They will colonize 0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:06.879 the shit out of those hundred mic pills. Baby. Yeah, 0:21:07.000 --> 0:21:10.000 speaking of one hundred milligram tramadol pills, you know what 0:21:10.080 --> 0:21:15.320 you cannot buy over the internet without attracting substantial risk. 0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:17.960