1
00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:03,079
Speaker 1: Hi.

2
00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:07,440
Speaker 2: This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,

3
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:08,039
Speaker 2: and speaker.

4
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,559
Speaker 3: And this is Sarah Hartunger. I'm a mother of three,

5
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,640
Speaker 3: a practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are

6
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,440
Speaker 3: two working parents who love our careers and our families.

7
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,360
Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds.

8
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,439
Speaker 2: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

9
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,800
Speaker 2: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

10
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,400
Speaker 2: out long term career goals. We want you to get

11
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:29,400
Speaker 2: the most out of life.

12
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,280
Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura.

13
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,360
Speaker 4: In this episode, we are going to be talking about moving,

14
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,080
Speaker 4: and we're going to be doing a bit of a

15
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:42,280
Speaker 4: mail bag. Actually the moving is part of the mail bag,

16
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,920
Speaker 4: but it was sort of a longer question and we

17
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,959
Speaker 4: thought we needed to talk about it a little bit more. So,

18
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,640
Speaker 4: hence we wound up with our alliterative title that we

19
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,920
Speaker 4: are sharing here toward the end of August twenty twenty three.

20
00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,920
Speaker 4: So by the time those airs, Sarah, you will be

21
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:59,920
Speaker 4: back from kind of an epic journey, epic international Northern journey.

22
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,160
Speaker 1: Can tell us a little bit.

23
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,520
Speaker 3: About Yes, I'm reading my notes here and I wrote

24
00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:05,959
Speaker 3: I hope I lived.

25
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,440
Speaker 1: Wow, well, guess we'll find out.

26
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,360
Speaker 3: I must have some deep seated thoughts that maybe I

27
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,560
Speaker 3: won't live. I hope I lived.

28
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:16,000
Speaker 1: I hope that I'm sure we won't be airing this

29
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:16,480
Speaker 1: as is.

30
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,679
Speaker 3: This is only gonna air if I made it. So

31
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,080
Speaker 3: we took a really long trip. We went on a

32
00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,720
Speaker 3: Disney cruise, and we went to Vancouver. We went to Alaska,

33
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,880
Speaker 3: we went to Vancouver Island. I can give you more

34
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,680
Speaker 3: details about how awesome those things hopefully were once I'm

35
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,160
Speaker 3: actually back. But the thing I wanted to mention is

36
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,679
Speaker 3: that this is the first time we've taken a full

37
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:43,080
Speaker 3: two weeks off maybe ever, Like I I mean, obviously

38
00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:45,080
Speaker 3: I took longer than two weeks off for maternity leave.

39
00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:46,400
Speaker 3: I don't think my husband.

40
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,680
Speaker 5: Took two weeks off for maternity leave.

41
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,320
Speaker 3: It's not that easy, particularly for Josh, because his group

42
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,120
Speaker 3: is not very big, and so if there's only three

43
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,760
Speaker 3: surgeons in your group and one of them goes away

44
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,720
Speaker 3: for two weeks, that leads the other ones like every

45
00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,160
Speaker 3: other night for two weeks, which is really hard. So

46
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,600
Speaker 3: it's not that easy to orchestrate, and in fact, he's

47
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,840
Speaker 3: not really offer a full two weeks he goes back

48
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,600
Speaker 3: on call to Friday, so it's like thirteen days or

49
00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:09,280
Speaker 3: something like that.

50
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,160
Speaker 5: But I'm super excited.

51
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,639
Speaker 3: I've always heard people talk about how, you know, when

52
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,680
Speaker 3: you go away for this long, you can like really

53
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,120
Speaker 3: relax into it, versus when you go on a shorter

54
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,080
Speaker 3: trip kind of you're just getting in the groove by

55
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,720
Speaker 3: day five or six and then it's time to go back.

56
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,320
Speaker 5: And I can see some truth to that, because it

57
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,120
Speaker 5: can take a couple.

58
00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:27,600
Speaker 3: Of days when we go on vacation as a family

59
00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,919
Speaker 3: to kind of unwind and find our rhythm. So I'm

60
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,520
Speaker 3: just excited to report back and I'm excited we finally

61
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,519
Speaker 3: were ever able to make this happen.

62
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, and your kids are at the ages where

63
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:40,359
Speaker 4: the two weeks is a little bit less, like, oh

64
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,919
Speaker 4: my goodness, I want to sleep in my own bed

65
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,480
Speaker 4: with my kid and their crib actually sleeping, So there's

66
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:47,160
Speaker 4: that as well.

67
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,919
Speaker 3: One hundred percent. I mean, when we went into vacations

68
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,840
Speaker 3: and they were younger, it was still worth doing, but

69
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,040
Speaker 3: there was like a mix of trepidation and you know,

70
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,400
Speaker 3: anticipation in trepidation and.

71
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,160
Speaker 5: Dread like all mixed up into one. I don't have a.

72
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:02,320
Speaker 3: Lot of dread, like I think will be fine, especially

73
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,240
Speaker 3: when you choose Disney Cruise. You note you think kids club,

74
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,600
Speaker 3: and so I know we'll have some support on that end.

75
00:03:07,919 --> 00:03:09,960
Speaker 3: We're going with friends, so they're going to have like

76
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,240
Speaker 3: playmates kind of built in for part of the trip.

77
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:16,480
Speaker 3: And I'm not really worried about how like the time

78
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,120
Speaker 3: zone differences will be handled. Maybe I'm being very naive,

79
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,200
Speaker 3: but I think it'll be okay.

80
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:27,680
Speaker 4: Just lots of hand sanitizer. Let's not have any norovirus episodes. Yeah, No, Well,

81
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,000
Speaker 4: when this is airing, we'll be doing We've got some

82
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:33,080
Speaker 4: beach time, some travel time, which I'll report back in

83
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:37,560
Speaker 4: September about. But yeah, on mooring from normal life for

84
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,520
Speaker 4: a while, which is why we had to record all

85
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:43,440
Speaker 4: these episodes ahead of time, so hopefully they still feel

86
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:46,760
Speaker 4: current done a few weeks ahead, but we thought we'd do.

87
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,040
Speaker 1: Some perennial topics.

88
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,440
Speaker 4: However, in this episode, we got a question from a

89
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,680
Speaker 4: Patreon member who asked us to do a little bit

90
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,920
Speaker 4: of a deep dive into our moves about one year out,

91
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,680
Speaker 4: so not necessarily like logistical, like how do you change

92
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,040
Speaker 4: your address? I think we've all figured that out, but

93
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,000
Speaker 4: how long has it taken to do some of the

94
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,000
Speaker 4: longer term things that are associated with moving, And when

95
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,440
Speaker 4: do you really feel like your new home is actually home?

96
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,200
Speaker 4: So Sarah, maybe can talk a little bit about your

97
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:15,400
Speaker 4: most recent move.

98
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, so we took a bigger move in twenty nineteen.

99
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,240
Speaker 3: That's when we went from Miami Beach up north to

100
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,840
Speaker 3: Broward County up north to south What.

101
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:28,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, and.

102
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:31,800
Speaker 3: That's about a forty five minute drive thereabouts. And then

103
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:35,279
Speaker 3: in twenty twenty two in the spring, we moved a

104
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:39,680
Speaker 3: whole mile within the same community, but to a house

105
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:41,880
Speaker 3: that we now own versus a house we were renting.

106
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:46,000
Speaker 3: And I mean, to some extent, we had to do

107
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,400
Speaker 3: the logistical things associated with moving, like fix up the

108
00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,919
Speaker 3: house a little bit, move boxes, et cetera. And in

109
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,599
Speaker 3: other ways we didn't have to do anything because in

110
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,400
Speaker 3: terms of like knowing the community and knowing the schools,

111
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 3: knowing the kids activities, like knowing even some of them,

112
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,120
Speaker 3: like we were friends with people that we now would

113
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,680
Speaker 3: live next door to, but we were actually friends with

114
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,760
Speaker 3: them already just from being in the neighborhood. That was

115
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:08,120
Speaker 3: a little bit less effortful, just because we moved such

116
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:11,120
Speaker 3: a short distance. But at the same time, I do

117
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,680
Speaker 3: feel like, well, it's interesting because I think when you're renting,

118
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,160
Speaker 3: there's also this feeling of like transience, so you don't

119
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:19,159
Speaker 3: necessarily make as much effort, and so I do feel

120
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,360
Speaker 3: like we've put in a little bit of work over

121
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,479
Speaker 3: the past year to just like feel a little bit

122
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,279
Speaker 3: more ingrained. And so some of the things we've done

123
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,960
Speaker 3: are like too. If neighbors ask us to do something,

124
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,159
Speaker 3: we try to say yes, or we ask others with

125
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,000
Speaker 3: similar age kids to have playdates and like come over

126
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:39,520
Speaker 3: after school. I use the like community What's up thread

127
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,720
Speaker 3: to get a good idea for like activities, Like if

128
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,240
Speaker 3: I'm looking to have my kids do piano lessons or

129
00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:45,960
Speaker 3: get a tutor or something, I'll just send to our

130
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:50,160
Speaker 3: neighborhood group, and often I get some really good recommendations.

131
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,880
Speaker 3: I pushed myself to start a book group. You guys

132
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,040
Speaker 3: heard about that, although that was I think before we moved,

133
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,360
Speaker 3: and that's done well. And I even invited our neighbors

134
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:59,720
Speaker 3: for wine and cheese, like we hadn't hosted anything since

135
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,279
Speaker 3: we so that was kind of like a push, but

136
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,520
Speaker 3: actually it ended up being really fun. I'm pretty easy

137
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,479
Speaker 3: and then the running group that I join has also

138
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:10,480
Speaker 3: really made me feel like part of living here because

139
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:13,040
Speaker 3: they all live really close by, and like we have

140
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,520
Speaker 3: a text chain going. And now I just feel like

141
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:18,400
Speaker 3: I have local friends. Where we're not succeeding and where

142
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,279
Speaker 3: Laura is doing much better. Is we bought zero like

143
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:26,080
Speaker 3: new furniture or decors just because well, honestly, we blow

144
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,320
Speaker 3: all our money into week vacations, so there's nothing left

145
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,120
Speaker 3: to buy furniture. And I'm fine with that so pretty much.

146
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,400
Speaker 3: I just it's not a priority for me. Like my

147
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,440
Speaker 3: one piece of daycore is like a paper calendar I

148
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,440
Speaker 3: taped up to the wall because that's important.

149
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,720
Speaker 1: That's fine, that's useful.

150
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,400
Speaker 4: Well, I was just saying, you know, you could be like, so,

151
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,520
Speaker 4: I'm a huge fan of the Frugal Girls blog, right,

152
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,560
Speaker 4: and I don't know if you've been Readingly, she outfitted

153
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,719
Speaker 4: a whole house with stuff from her local like buy

154
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:57,800
Speaker 4: nothing groups off Facebook, and her brother was rehabbing a

155
00:06:57,839 --> 00:06:59,840
Speaker 4: house that had been abandoned and so it had a

156
00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:02,799
Speaker 4: random stuff in it, some of which could be rehabbed,

157
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:05,880
Speaker 4: like you know, silverware or an end table that could

158
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,360
Speaker 4: be sanded down and used again. So she has outfitted

159
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,920
Speaker 4: a whole house like beautifully with that.

160
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:16,400
Speaker 3: So with hours of her own hours of her own time,

161
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,120
Speaker 3: you have money more time. I just don't really have either.

162
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:20,440
Speaker 3: So I want to give either.

163
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:23,680
Speaker 4: You pay in time or money, and either is it's

164
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,560
Speaker 4: totally possible to pay in time instead of money. But

165
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,640
Speaker 4: if you do not wish to spend either, then I

166
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:32,440
Speaker 4: guess that's then you've got a calendar on the wall. Yeah.

167
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,640
Speaker 4: Well that's cool though, but and you're sort of still

168
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,560
Speaker 4: you're doing though the declutter and do you still have

169
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:38,960
Speaker 4: boxes or you got we.

170
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:39,640
Speaker 5: Don't have boxes.

171
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,400
Speaker 3: No, our house is very functional, it's just not like decorated,

172
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,840
Speaker 3: and we're using couches from like the oughts are twenty

173
00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,840
Speaker 3: tahs for my Kia that are skull lasting.

174
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:50,920
Speaker 5: No.

175
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,160
Speaker 3: I started an area by area declutter because that I

176
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,280
Speaker 3: do actually really care about being able to find things,

177
00:07:55,320 --> 00:08:00,640
Speaker 3: having clear surfaces, et cetera. So that's my own like

178
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,720
Speaker 3: answer to not really wanting to do elaborate amounts of

179
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 3: cleaning up, but just being like, you know what I

180
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,800
Speaker 3: can do fifteen minutes and it's been really satisfying so far,

181
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,360
Speaker 3: so that's good.

182
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,200
Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean, so we only moved about you know,

183
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,560
Speaker 4: two miles away. Although it's funny I think about it,

184
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,800
Speaker 4: we had to readjust a lot of the driving times

185
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:22,320
Speaker 4: for the local stuff because you know, everything's pretty finally

186
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,200
Speaker 4: calibrated in terms of, you know, getting five kids to

187
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,880
Speaker 4: where they need to go and such. But that five

188
00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:31,440
Speaker 4: minutes actually does change things. You know, if you are

189
00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,199
Speaker 4: five minutes We were five minutes north from where we are,

190
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,679
Speaker 4: so the stuff that we were going to that was

191
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,240
Speaker 4: north would take five minutes less.

192
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,600
Speaker 1: The stuff are going to south is five minutes.

193
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,920
Speaker 4: You know, the you know, anyway, you know what I mean,

194
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:43,840
Speaker 4: it took five minutes more going north, five minutes less

195
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,800
Speaker 4: going south, and so we are. You had to readjust that,

196
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,600
Speaker 4: like you're going to be late to karate if you're

197
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,000
Speaker 4: leaving at the time that you would have left at

198
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,000
Speaker 4: the old house. However, it takes slightly less time to

199
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,120
Speaker 4: go to church, but that's it's like going a different way.

200
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,640
Speaker 4: And have any entirely reaped the benefits of being closer

201
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,520
Speaker 4: to some stuff yet, because this bridge near our house

202
00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:07,320
Speaker 4: has now been out for two years, but hopefully that

203
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,560
Speaker 4: will be fixed eventually and then it will be even

204
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,920
Speaker 4: closer to you know, have suburban square right right around

205
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:17,080
Speaker 4: the corner that mall Starbucks and all that good stuff.

206
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,040
Speaker 1: But anyway, it's been long and involved.

207
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,640
Speaker 4: I think one thing I would say for anyone who

208
00:09:24,679 --> 00:09:27,080
Speaker 4: is doing any sort of move is to have a

209
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,920
Speaker 4: bit of patience about it. And I think many of

210
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,280
Speaker 4: us want to have our lives all buttoned up and

211
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:36,200
Speaker 4: put in a certain way, like instantly, and yeah, you

212
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,880
Speaker 4: want to be able to find your spatula like that

213
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,760
Speaker 4: you want to have right away, But a lot of

214
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,480
Speaker 4: stuff is not going to be like that, and it's

215
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,640
Speaker 4: okay to sort of sit with things a little bit

216
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,920
Speaker 4: undone for a while, both to figure out what you

217
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:54,240
Speaker 4: really want there and just as you sort of get

218
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:58,120
Speaker 4: used to your living style in the new place, and

219
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,280
Speaker 4: that can keep you from, you know, making mistake that

220
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:05,120
Speaker 4: you might then need to redo later. So I would

221
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:09,880
Speaker 4: say one thing we've still had. We bought the house

222
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:13,359
Speaker 4: in twenty twenty, didn't move in until early twenty twenty two,

223
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:17,840
Speaker 4: had a couple of projects still going then, like these

224
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:21,000
Speaker 4: bathrooms getting redone the only ones we didn't do in

225
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,520
Speaker 4: the original house. And then of course they started leaking,

226
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:27,480
Speaker 4: like immediately after people used them. It turns out they

227
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:31,200
Speaker 4: hadn't really been used in years, and you know, hold

228
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,120
Speaker 4: up to seven people using bathrooms, you have to have

229
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:38,160
Speaker 4: a little bit more plumbing functionality, let's just put it

230
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:42,000
Speaker 4: that way. So those had to get redone. But we

231
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,480
Speaker 4: got furniture for some rooms and then kind of waited

232
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,480
Speaker 4: and see what we were going to get in others.

233
00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:48,560
Speaker 4: I just finally got a rug for the living room

234
00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,959
Speaker 4: and it does look better. But it's like I needed

235
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,880
Speaker 4: to sort of figure out what we were going to do,

236
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,800
Speaker 4: and I didn't wind up going with a more sort

237
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,240
Speaker 4: of expensive thing. I wound up just going with pottery

238
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,240
Speaker 4: barn and it was fine, and so I'm kind of

239
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,640
Speaker 4: glad that I didn't do it. At the same time,

240
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,320
Speaker 4: when I was buying the other furniture, which I wouldn't

241
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,839
Speaker 4: have even it was like just all huge numbers that

242
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,959
Speaker 4: I wasn't even processing individual choices. And then it's like

243
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,760
Speaker 4: now like, okay, well, actually this is perfectly fine, and

244
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,000
Speaker 4: you know, it's a good rug. And I think if

245
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,560
Speaker 4: you realize it won't be done instantly, that can help

246
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,439
Speaker 4: you feel more patient a lot of things. But I

247
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:27,280
Speaker 4: would say, despite your you know, just a calendar, putting

248
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,560
Speaker 4: stuff on your walls is actually something that really.

249
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,960
Speaker 1: Can make it feel like home to you. So if

250
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:34,840
Speaker 1: you have.

251
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,560
Speaker 4: Artwork or something that was up in your previous house,

252
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,000
Speaker 4: a lot of what you think about what feels like

253
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,320
Speaker 4: your home is that that was there, and so if

254
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,920
Speaker 4: you find a new spot for it, then you're seeing

255
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:46,400
Speaker 4: it again.

256
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,400
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, yeah, that's it looks like my house

257
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,000
Speaker 1: or family.

258
00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:53,000
Speaker 3: To vote by telling you that I don't even know

259
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:53,880
Speaker 3: if we have art up or.

260
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,000
Speaker 5: Not, Like I think, what's wrong with my.

261
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,480
Speaker 3: Brain, but like I just don't see that stuff like

262
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,680
Speaker 3: maybe my I think there's some photos in here, which

263
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,240
Speaker 3: means it's probably not up. But I guess I'm gonna

264
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,960
Speaker 3: validate for some people, like they're just never gonna notice

265
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,880
Speaker 3: and they're never gonna care you might have art up.

266
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,840
Speaker 3: I don't even know. Like my was gonna listen to

267
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,559
Speaker 3: this and be like I can't well.

268
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,200
Speaker 1: I mean just I don't know.

269
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,040
Speaker 4: It's it's something I like, you know, and and there's

270
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,560
Speaker 4: a lot of like affordable people, you know, like a

271
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,320
Speaker 4: van go up on the wall. It's like, you know,

272
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,080
Speaker 4: we find a cool artist on Etsy and get like,

273
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,240
Speaker 4: you know, an affordable print from them. But it like

274
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,800
Speaker 4: looks really cool. It's fun to look at it. It's like,

275
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,200
Speaker 4: you know, this little shot of joy every time you

276
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,160
Speaker 4: come out of the bathroom.

277
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,840
Speaker 3: You know, I am not downplaying it for more normal people.

278
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,240
Speaker 3: I'm just I'm just I guess if anybody else is

279
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,560
Speaker 3: an outlier, that's okay too.

280
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,320
Speaker 1: All right, well, photos of your kids? Do you have

281
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,559
Speaker 1: photos of your kids anywhere?

282
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:43,920
Speaker 3: I have some in my office.

283
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:47,280
Speaker 5: Okay, my kids are in the house all the time.

284
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:51,280
Speaker 1: Why do we they were you know, they were younger,

285
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,200
Speaker 1: they were like cute little babies. Maybe I'm a fugre

286
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,839
Speaker 1: of them, then fair enough? Oh my goodness.

287
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,319
Speaker 4: All right, Well, you know, personality difference as we learn

288
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,920
Speaker 4: over the core of six years of having this, and

289
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,439
Speaker 4: maybe maybe Sarah will get family portraits taken and put

290
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,000
Speaker 4: something up.

291
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,800
Speaker 1: On the wall, or maybe she won't. Maybe we'll we'll

292
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:08,920
Speaker 1: see how that evolves in the cars.

293
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,280
Speaker 4: But I would I will put that out there as

294
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,320
Speaker 4: something that helped me feel more like it was my

295
00:13:14,559 --> 00:13:18,760
Speaker 4: home when my stuff was up on the wall. So

296
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:21,400
Speaker 4: I think it might be worth investing in that either.

297
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:22,480
Speaker 4: You know, obviously you.

298
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:22,920
Speaker 1: Can do it.

299
00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:26,080
Speaker 4: There's also if you're a little bit intimidated about you know,

300
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,760
Speaker 4: you've just had a bunch of work done in a house, like,

301
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,679
Speaker 4: well where do I put the nails? Like you can

302
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:32,760
Speaker 4: hire people who are professional hangers, Like they come in

303
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,960
Speaker 4: for a day and get everything put up, and I

304
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,120
Speaker 4: often you know, they have design advice as well too,

305
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,080
Speaker 4: So that's something you can in fact outsource if you

306
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:44,480
Speaker 4: wished to do so. So yeah, it's we finally got

307
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,840
Speaker 4: a lot of the boxes. I just had a bunch

308
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,920
Speaker 4: in my office that I'd shove there when we had

309
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:51,320
Speaker 4: a party because they were in the hall and I,

310
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:52,960
Speaker 4: you know, people were gonna come to the bathroom and

311
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,319
Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't want my boxes in the hall.

312
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,800
Speaker 4: So they all came into my office and I just

313
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:56,880
Speaker 4: finally went through them.

314
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,040
Speaker 1: It was such a trip.

315
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,800
Speaker 4: It's like my old business cards from like twenty fourteen

316
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,160
Speaker 4: with like a pacifier next to them. I mean it's

317
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:07,199
Speaker 4: just you know, like, what was this time capsule that

318
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:08,960
Speaker 4: was thrown in there?

319
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,920
Speaker 3: To be clear, the passifier was not featured on the

320
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:12,600
Speaker 3: business card.

321
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,520
Speaker 4: No, no, it was just a literal pacifier. If that

322
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,240
Speaker 4: was in there, I don't know how od of there.

323
00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:20,280
Speaker 4: Henry doesn't use them, but two of my kids were

324
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,760
Speaker 4: sort of obsessed with them, so we went up with

325
00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:22,120
Speaker 4: a lot.

326
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,440
Speaker 1: I'm sure they're like hidden all.

327
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:27,240
Speaker 3: Over the house in various places, but yeah, I love it.

328
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,160
Speaker 4: So uh yeah, no, we that was I could say,

329
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,240
Speaker 4: ye know, a couple of years. It's definitely feeling like

330
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,360
Speaker 4: home for us. It feels like home for you too, right,

331
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:35,920
Speaker 4: I mean.

332
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:41,360
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it does. I think again, even being visually blind,

333
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,720
Speaker 3: like you know, gradually you shape your space, how you

334
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,080
Speaker 3: use it, where you put things, You get used to

335
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,680
Speaker 3: being in it, you get used to the outdoors around it.

336
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,160
Speaker 3: I do think running in my neighborhood has made it

337
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,080
Speaker 3: feel like like I have such a routine with my

338
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,560
Speaker 3: routes and stuff. Also that just makes me like have

339
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,520
Speaker 3: more of a sense of place, like, especially because now

340
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,840
Speaker 3: that I've seen we don't have a lot of season change,

341
00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:03,920
Speaker 3: but I've had a whole year to notice the different

342
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,720
Speaker 3: sense and like stuff that's going on. So it'll happen.

343
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,560
Speaker 3: Just give it, give it time.

344
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:09,080
Speaker 1: Give it time.

345
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,400
Speaker 4: All right, We'll take a real quick ad break and

346
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:26,080
Speaker 4: then we'll come back with the rest of our questions. Well,

347
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,200
Speaker 4: we are back with the rest of our mail bag.

348
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,840
Speaker 4: Here we encourage listener questions. Please write to us. You

349
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,840
Speaker 4: can always go Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. I'm

350
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,400
Speaker 4: happy to forward them along if that's often an easy

351
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:42,840
Speaker 4: one for people to remember the email there. So the

352
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,120
Speaker 4: next question, Sarah, can you talk about how you approach

353
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 4: kid activities.

354
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,680
Speaker 1: That end late at night.

355
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,160
Speaker 4: This person's eight year old won't sleep past seven in

356
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,800
Speaker 4: the morning, no matter when she goes to bed. She

357
00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:58,280
Speaker 4: comes home from activities after seven pm, then it messes

358
00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:02,080
Speaker 4: up their dinner, bath, in bedtime routine. This person notes

359
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,120
Speaker 4: that some activities seem to end as late as seven

360
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,680
Speaker 4: thirty or eight for children that age. She says, I

361
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,800
Speaker 4: don't understand how other families do this, and just there

362
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,440
Speaker 4: was an addition that came in that this family, they

363
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,840
Speaker 4: sort of work a schedule such that their child, their

364
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,600
Speaker 4: eight year old, is in after care until six and

365
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,200
Speaker 4: so it's kind of already a longer day by that point,

366
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,080
Speaker 4: and I think that's why the evening routine has been

367
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,880
Speaker 4: as set as it is. So she's just wondering how

368
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,360
Speaker 4: they make this all fit. So, Sarah, do you have

369
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:30,800
Speaker 4: any advice for her?

370
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,520
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess I'd start with the fact that

371
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,240
Speaker 3: some kids need more sleep than others, and I guess

372
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,560
Speaker 3: the way she's framing this is that her eight year

373
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:41,920
Speaker 3: old is having trouble getting enough sleep. So I'm wondering

374
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,240
Speaker 3: how long the like post eight pm routine is taking,

375
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,800
Speaker 3: because conceivably, if it's taking them two hours and the

376
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,840
Speaker 3: kid isn't going to bed until ten and they're sleeping

377
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 3: until seven, that's going to be enough for some kids,

378
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,120
Speaker 3: and it's not going to be enough for other kids.

379
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,840
Speaker 3: It's going to kind of like depend on the kid.

380
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,840
Speaker 3: So I guess that's my preface to say that, like

381
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,560
Speaker 3: your mileage may vary, because some of this is going

382
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,560
Speaker 3: to depend on how fast your kids are to wind

383
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,360
Speaker 3: down after an activity and how much sleep they need

384
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,280
Speaker 3: as to how painful this is necessarily is going to be.

385
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,280
Speaker 3: I will say I don't love nighttime activities either, but

386
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,760
Speaker 3: I just posted like kind of a sketch, not but

387
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:20,000
Speaker 3: it's like specific locations or anything, but of our like

388
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,520
Speaker 3: already kind of knowing our schedule for next fall, and

389
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,080
Speaker 3: I mean, we're gonna have something every night most nights

390
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,280
Speaker 3: until seven fifteen, some nights until eight, which is not

391
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,080
Speaker 3: super super late. Actually, we've had later activities in the past,

392
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:32,879
Speaker 3: like stuff that ends at eight thirty nine, which is

393
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:38,200
Speaker 3: a little tougher. But I think the key for us

394
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:42,640
Speaker 3: has been on really streamlining that post activity routine, like

395
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,480
Speaker 3: kind of training the kid like okay, when you get home,

396
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,560
Speaker 3: like straight in, like to do dinner prior if that's possible.

397
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,679
Speaker 3: I don't know if it is for this family hearing

398
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:53,840
Speaker 3: about how the aftercare works, but dinner is something super

399
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,800
Speaker 3: easy and quick prior to the activity. The kid goes

400
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,159
Speaker 3: to the activity and then has kind of mastered the

401
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:03,760
Speaker 3: like come home from activity, shower, bed, kind of a

402
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,920
Speaker 3: thing like that that doesn't have to be a long

403
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,680
Speaker 3: drawn out thing, because I think in the beginning, when

404
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,720
Speaker 3: we had less practice with it, it did take a long time,

405
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,320
Speaker 3: and so an activity the end of at eight thirty

406
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,720
Speaker 3: might mean like a ten pm bedtime for one of

407
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,080
Speaker 3: my kids, which we have to be up a little

408
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:19,040
Speaker 3: earlier than seven, and that isn't necessarily enough sleep for

409
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,879
Speaker 3: that child. So it's been about making sure the post

410
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,359
Speaker 3: activity can just like be nice and smooth. But I

411
00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:26,760
Speaker 3: don't know, I've also just gotten to a place of

412
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,520
Speaker 3: acceptance when my kids are only going to get older,

413
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,280
Speaker 3: They're only going to want to do more stuff, and

414
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 3: the stuff is probably only going to get later. So

415
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,320
Speaker 3: I just have to roll with it.

416
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:35,919
Speaker 1: Roll with it.

417
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, as I was going to say, when I read

418
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,880
Speaker 4: this question, I wanted to push back a little bit

419
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 4: on this framing, because if this family's schedule is such

420
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,760
Speaker 4: that their child is an after karen til six every day,

421
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,840
Speaker 4: then the fact that there are later activities is actually

422
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,679
Speaker 4: a benefit to them. Like I thought, you know, originally

423
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:52,480
Speaker 4: I'd be like, well, my kid can't do anything because

424
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,480
Speaker 4: I can't pick them up and from after Karen Til's six,

425
00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,600
Speaker 4: so we haven't been able to do any sports. It's like, well, no, no, no,

426
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,840
Speaker 4: that's not the framing here. It's that there are later

427
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,960
Speaker 4: activities and because you know, they can't pick them up

428
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,840
Speaker 4: until six, they get to still do them.

429
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 1: It's like best of both worlds here.

430
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:06,919
Speaker 4: So I you know, in my mind, I'm like, well,

431
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:10,359
Speaker 4: this is not fundamentally like an issue. This is actually

432
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 4: a benefit to the family that there are later activities.

433
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,199
Speaker 4: But just I think we need to learn to be

434
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,080
Speaker 4: a little bit flexible about routines. And my guess is

435
00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:24,360
Speaker 4: that possibly this child was such that when they were

436
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,840
Speaker 4: like two or three, like everything had to be carefully

437
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 4: scripted if they were a bad sleeper or whatever, and

438
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,639
Speaker 4: you know, it's like they're in that mindset and the

439
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 4: child's getting older.

440
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,200
Speaker 1: They're eight now.

441
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,040
Speaker 4: Things are changing with that, and I think if you

442
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,959
Speaker 4: can learn that the routine can be a little bit

443
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 4: more flexible as your child gets older, that can be

444
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:45,960
Speaker 4: a helpful mindset shift. Because there's nothing in this schedule

445
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:50,040
Speaker 4: that sounds particularly problematic to me. If you've got something

446
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 4: that's an activity from seven to eight pm, you just

447
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 4: eat something quick beforehand and go pick them up afterwards

448
00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:00,680
Speaker 4: and then get them to bed. So if you've got

449
00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,959
Speaker 4: something that starts at six thirty, like bring them a sandwich,

450
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,919
Speaker 4: you eat in the car, like it's dinner does not

451
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:09,320
Speaker 4: have to involve sitting at a table every night. You know,

452
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,480
Speaker 4: I love family dinner as much as the next person.

453
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,720
Speaker 4: But you can do that on other nights. Like if

454
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 4: you've got an activity two nights a week, then five

455
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 4: nights a week. You don't do that five nights a week.

456
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,239
Speaker 4: You're doing your sit down dinner at six thirty as

457
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,200
Speaker 4: you are used to doing. But on those two nights

458
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,000
Speaker 4: you have an activity, You bring a sandwich for your

459
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 4: kid in the car, they eat that in the apple,

460
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,399
Speaker 4: they go to the activity, and then you know, they

461
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 4: come home afterwards. I would say that eight year olds

462
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:35,159
Speaker 4: generally don't need to shower daily. This is one of

463
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 4: these things that is perhaps people have different mindsets about,

464
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,919
Speaker 4: but you might decide that again, if you're doing it

465
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,600
Speaker 4: five nights when you're having your normal routine, you don't

466
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 4: necessarily have to do it on the two nights when

467
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,640
Speaker 4: you have your later routine. And then, just as Sarah

468
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 4: was saying, be care, you know, be good about like

469
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 4: coaching the kid, and like, okay, this is how the

470
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,280
Speaker 4: transition is going to work.

471
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,600
Speaker 1: But if you're your kid is.

472
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,439
Speaker 4: In bed with lights out, like you're getting home at

473
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 4: eight and you're getting you know, the kids in bed

474
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 4: with lights out at nine, nine to seven is still

475
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 4: ten hours, which is what the guidelines are for children

476
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:15,440
Speaker 4: who are that age. So this does all fit. I

477
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 4: think you just need to be a little bit more

478
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 4: flexible about the routine and view this as a gift

479
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 4: that your community has later activities, because that still means

480
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,639
Speaker 4: that you, as a working parent with some you know,

481
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 4: hours that maybe aren't that flexible, can still have your

482
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 4: kid participate in them. So I don't know that's how

483
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 4: I saw this.

484
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 3: No totally makes sense. I wonder if some of this all,

485
00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 3: like it all goes back to like this picture of

486
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:39,239
Speaker 3: like the nineteen fifties when everybody sits down for a

487
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 3: formal dinner together because mom stayed home and mom took

488
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,560
Speaker 3: the kids to their sports team after school and sat

489
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 3: on the sidelines and everyone got home Like that is

490
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 3: just like not how many people are going to operate

491
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,160
Speaker 3: their family And there's nothing wrong with that. I mean,

492
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,840
Speaker 3: I've said it many times, but I'll mention it again.

493
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 3: We don't do family dinners most nights and it's fine, Yeah.

494
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:02,600
Speaker 1: Totally fine.

495
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,719
Speaker 4: All right, So the next question, what is your experience

496
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,240
Speaker 4: with boundaries setting with others? Is this something you struggle

497
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 4: with and how do you handle it?

498
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 5: This was an.

499
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 1: Interesting pack can of worms.

500
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:20,000
Speaker 3: There anybody likes anyone like I'm excellent?

501
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:20,720
Speaker 5: Maybe they are.

502
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 3: We should have that person on there is an expound

503
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 3: She's probably good at it, but I think she probably

504
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 3: that's like Nedra to Wab. I think she would still

505
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,560
Speaker 3: say that it's not easy, right, Like so I say,

506
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 3: of course I struggle with boundaries at times, but I

507
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,320
Speaker 3: do think I've thought through the idea.

508
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 5: Of boundaries a little bit more.

509
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:42,080
Speaker 3: I do think being a good planner or organizer, or

510
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 3: like knowing what you have on your plate and like

511
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:48,400
Speaker 3: a really clear idea of it helps me be better

512
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 3: at setting boundaries only because like, if someone asked me something,

513
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 3: I really can quickly do a mental inventory as to

514
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 3: whether it would really be tough for me and say no,

515
00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 3: like with clarity about like what it would mean to

516
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 3: say yes. I guess like I don't have this fantasy

517
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,199
Speaker 3: idea of like, oh, three months from now, I have

518
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,399
Speaker 3: nothing to do, Like I know what I'm kind of

519
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,359
Speaker 3: going to be have stuff to do, and like what

520
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 3: it might look like. So I do think that can

521
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 3: be helpful. Boundaries are tough. I do think therapy can

522
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 3: be a really helpful resource if boundaries are something you're

523
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 3: struggling with, because I think many therapists will kind of

524
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 3: give you permission to set boundaries if that's something that

525
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 3: you don't feel like you're allowed to do.

526
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say I'm pretty good about boundaries with

527
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 4: anyone who is not immediate family members.

528
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 1: I think where the things get more.

529
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 4: Problematic is setting boundaries with family members.

530
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 1: And I was.

531
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,720
Speaker 4: Particularly think of this as your kids get older, because

532
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 4: obviously you want to do stuff for them and you

533
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,119
Speaker 4: want to be helpful, but there are ways that they

534
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 4: can be more respectful of your time and less respectful

535
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:52,920
Speaker 4: of your time.

536
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 1: And so you know, impressing behind.

537
00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:00,199
Speaker 4: People that I would like to help you, and it

538
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 4: is challenging for me to drop everything and come pick

539
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:07,880
Speaker 4: you up or you know, drive you somewhere without advanced notice.

540
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 4: And so if you think you are going to need

541
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 4: a ride, we need to talk this through. And as

542
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 4: much as you know notice you can give me ahead

543
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 4: of time, I will move heaven and earth to make

544
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 4: it happen. But if you're asking me to do it

545
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 4: right at the last second, then the answer may be no,

546
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:26,000
Speaker 4: and you're just going.

547
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 1: To have to deal with that.

548
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,439
Speaker 4: So, you know, I think that's a conversation you can

549
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 4: definitely have with older children to impress upon them that

550
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,640
Speaker 4: you know, you have your own life and schedule and

551
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 4: can't necessarily always be at there back in call.

552
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 3: I think that was a tough question, and we welcome

553
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 3: others thoughts on boundaries.

554
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, so this next question is going to be more

555
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,480
Speaker 4: for Sarah because I didn't have a good answer for it.

556
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 4: Are there any strategy that you use to accommodate how

557
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 4: you feel throughout different points in your menstrual cycle. So

558
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 4: you know, Sarah's our cormona expert here, so maybe she can.

559
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 3: I have a.

560
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 1: Tediater hormone expert.

561
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,360
Speaker 4: And eventually they go through puberty, right, I mean you'd

562
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 4: have to know about it still.

563
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,199
Speaker 3: Yes, but like the whole like perimenopause thing, like I

564
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 3: know nothing. I know very little actually, Like there's the

565
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 3: other things that I send my patients to the adult

566
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:26,280
Speaker 3: endo when they get to a certain point. So I'm

567
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 3: gonna just like frame this by the fact that I

568
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,679
Speaker 3: did not experience like true hormonal cycles until I was

569
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,960
Speaker 3: probably in my mid thirties because I started my period

570
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 3: really late. It was never regular. I immediately started on

571
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 3: birth control. I stayed on birth control for like forever

572
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 3: until I wanted to have babies, then in trouble getting pregnant,

573
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 3: didn't cycle, finally got pregnant, and so again like this

574
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 3: takes us to age like thirty five for me to

575
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,239
Speaker 3: be like oh and then breastfeeding, Like this is what

576
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,919
Speaker 3: periods are. And it turns out when they happened, like

577
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,640
Speaker 3: my brain experiencing these natural swings for like the first time,

578
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,879
Speaker 3: literally I could not handle them at all, and I

579
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 3: think maybe if I had, like it took me a

580
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 3: while to like figure out the pattern, which was for

581
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,120
Speaker 3: me that basically I felt really good like the week

582
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 3: like ten days after my period, and then like terrible

583
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 3: the rest of the time. But maybe if I had

584
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,679
Speaker 3: more awareness of like what a normal not normal, but

585
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 3: what potential effects, Like some people get really moody around ovulation.

586
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 3: Some people are more tired, and you have bloating and

587
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 3: then like leading up to your period, and you can

588
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 3: be more irritable, like a lot of there are a

589
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 3: lot of commonalities and if maybe I had understood them,

590
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 3: maybe I would have reacted. But I mean, I don't know,

591
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 3: because the right decision for me at the time was

592
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 3: to resume hormonal birth control, which I still take to

593
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,760
Speaker 3: this day and works pretty well for me. But I

594
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 3: guess I think that really journaling and like looking and

595
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:54,200
Speaker 3: seeing trying to pick up patterns and realizing that many

596
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 3: people do have their mood and energy affected by the

597
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 3: different phases of their cycle, like normalizing that can be

598
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 3: really really helpful because then you can figure out either

599
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 3: a if you can find like ways to deal with it,

600
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 3: like oh, maybe I schedule some more downtime during the

601
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 3: parts that are hard, or just like knowing that it's

602
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 3: going to be hard and that if you're in a

603
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 3: horrible mood to maybe like take that with a grain

604
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,400
Speaker 3: of salt because you know that you just ovulated, or

605
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 3: to say, oh, no, this is actually too much for me,

606
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 3: like is there a medical way around this, which, again

607
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 3: I'm not saying that's the answer for everyone, Please do

608
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 3: not like that was just for me the right choice

609
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 3: after considering various pros and cons. So, and it is

610
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 3: a potential option depending on what your history is for

611
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:35,239
Speaker 3: some people, So speak with your healthcare provider about that

612
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,920
Speaker 3: if that's something you want to talk about. But I'm

613
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,679
Speaker 3: just glad this person brought this up, and I just

614
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 3: I don't know that I'm giving you strategies, but I'm

615
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 3: giving you validation that like you're normal.

616
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I think the idea of tracking anything is helpful, right,

617
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 4: and you know there's apps if you want to do that,

618
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 4: but obviously you could just do it in a notebook

619
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 4: and note like on a calendar and just sort of

620
00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 4: having a rough sense of when things are likely to

621
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:01,360
Speaker 4: happen where you are.

622
00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 1: You know, if you just.

623
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 4: Awareness is great, just like tracking time so, yeah, encourage

624
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 4: people to get to know themselves in all ways. And

625
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,199
Speaker 4: so if you are a woman who is of the

626
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 4: age where that is part of your life, then you

627
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 4: know that might be also good to add to the

628
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 4: useful knowledge that you can gain.

629
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 3: So the next question also kind of foresho, this is

630
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,239
Speaker 3: for you too. You are a great planner, even if

631
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 3: you don't have a planning podcast.

632
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 4: A planning podcast now, not planning to start one either.

633
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 4: Any advice for encouraging someone to be more intentional with

634
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 4: their planning. I have a friend who I think it

635
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 4: would help based on their complaints about things not working out,

636
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,240
Speaker 4: but that person isn't always open to help.

637
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 1: So Sarah, kind of a thorny question here.

638
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say leading by example is probably the

639
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 3: right move here. And I don't even mean like curating

640
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 3: yourself in front of them, be like, look, I knew

641
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 3: when the meeting was, but just like you know, for

642
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 3: them to like maybe subtly notice and if they want

643
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 3: to see like what you're doing, then you can tell them,

644
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 3: or like, if it's something that affects both of you,

645
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 3: Like I had an idea that let's say we're having

646
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 3: lunch together and you knew that she was always going

647
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 3: to forget. You could like offer alternative ways to like

648
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 3: help remind the person, Like, Hey, for Tuesday, do you

649
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 3: want me to send you a Google invite? Or are

650
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 3: you just gonna like, you know, do you not need

651
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 3: me to or do you want me to text the

652
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:29,480
Speaker 3: week before to remind you, like throw out little little

653
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,960
Speaker 3: potential kernels of ideas of how they might want to

654
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,719
Speaker 3: tract things. But unless someone's actually looking for help, I

655
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 3: just don't know how much planning is so personal because

656
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 3: it's really like the way someone thinks about how they're

657
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 3: using their life, And so unless they are looking for

658
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,479
Speaker 3: help in that realm, I think it's hard. I do

659
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 3: think if it's your partner or someone that like how

660
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 3: they plan is going to absolutely impact you on a

661
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 3: day to day basis. Then carving out like regular touch

662
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 3: points to plan things together, like we've talked about many

663
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 3: times on this podcast, I think is.

664
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 5: Really really important.

665
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 3: Whether it alters their overall planning or not, it's hard

666
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 3: to know, but at least to create plans for the

667
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,920
Speaker 3: family together and make sure everybody is all on the

668
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 3: same page.

669
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely, I mean I think you also have to

670
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 4: like this person thinks that the person is like complaining

671
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 4: about things not working out. But you have to sort

672
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 4: of suss out if your friend is actually bothered by

673
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 4: the chaos in their life or if it's just someone

674
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 4: who loves to complain about how crazy busy they are.

675
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 4: You know, complaining is this currency that people use in

676
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 4: their interactions with each other and and time. I have

677
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 4: no idea why this is appealing, Like, yes, your life sucks,

678
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 4: let's be friends. But yeah, that's how people bond. So

679
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 4: take that as you will. But if they do, in

680
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:53,120
Speaker 4: fact seem legitimately bothered by the chaos, then simply describe

681
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 4: what you do. I mean, sometimes you be amazed, Like

682
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 4: people get to a point in their life where they're

683
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 4: like a grown up and like maybe even have had

684
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 4: some reasonable professional success or whatever, but they don't think

685
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 4: about certain things. And so just you're narrating something like, oh, yeah,

686
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,479
Speaker 4: you know, when we I was looking forward to us

687
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 4: being here at noon today, and so I made sure

688
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 4: that I did X, Y and Z so I could

689
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 4: leave at eleven thirty five because I noticed that this

690
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 4: was going to get They're like, oh, people count back

691
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 4: and build in the constituent steps and like leave a

692
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 4: tiny buffer because, like, you know, a parking spot might

693
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 4: not magically open up in front of the restaurant or whatever,

694
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 4: so you can kind of narrate your life as such.

695
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 4: If they ask you, you know, like, well how did

696
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,720
Speaker 4: you you might mention like, oh, yeah, I got my

697
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 4: kids signed up for this thing even though it closes immediately,

698
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 4: But how did you do that?

699
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 1: How'd you score that?

700
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 4: Like, oh, well, because I had the date on my calendar,

701
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 4: and I have a weekly planning practice, and I looked

702
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 4: forward and saw that the date was coming up Tuesday morning,

703
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 4: so I made sure to be available Tuesday at eight

704
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 4: am so I could sign up. And I'm like, oh,

705
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 4: that's an interesting concept. But that's how you can have

706
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 4: these conversations. If they seem interested, if they do not,

707
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,719
Speaker 4: if they just like the cast, then don't make plans

708
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:17,280
Speaker 4: with this person where it's willing to truly inconvenience you

709
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 4: if they are late or don't show or whatever else. Like,

710
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 4: it can also be a friend that you see in

711
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 4: a group, right, like that five of you are meeting

712
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 4: for coffee and when it's only four of you half

713
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 4: the time, so it goes right.

714
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 1: It's still a good time either way. So, Sarah, I

715
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 1: love of the week. What do you have this week?

716
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 3: I'm too busy laughing at your love of the week

717
00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 3: because that's one of my favorite Well you go first.

718
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,840
Speaker 1: Okay, fine, So the Pentel Energel pens.

719
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,479
Speaker 4: So I gave a talk at a law firm a

720
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 4: little while ago where they had this brand of pens

721
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 4: with their logo on them, and I'm sitting there signing

722
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 4: books with their pens.

723
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, I like this pen.

724
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,640
Speaker 4: So it is possible that I left that law firm

725
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 4: with me many of their pens.

726
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 3: I love energels.

727
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 5: They come in a lot of colors.

728
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 3: I personally like the If you've seen pictures I often have,

729
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 3: these pens are like white and then part of its

730
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 3: stripe those are energels. They're Energel Klenas, which is like

731
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 3: I think a line that's sold in Japan because of course,

732
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 3: but they're very similar. And yes, energels are amazing. What

733
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:21,480
Speaker 3: tipped are yours? Like? Point four?

734
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 1: I have no idea. All I know is that they

735
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: are really nice writing. I mean they're like a normal,

736
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: normal sort of thing. I mean, you know what what

737
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: would be the normal that people would use?

738
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 3: Right? Probably point five point five okay for those pens.

739
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:34,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, well.

740
00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,160
Speaker 4: Then that's I mean, if you assume that's what a

741
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 4: law firm is using, then that's probably what it is.

742
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 1: But uh yeah, no, big big shout out to those

743
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:43,680
Speaker 1: that is awesome.

744
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,160
Speaker 3: I will just give a positive shout out to We

745
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 3: did Target school supply shopping. I gotta say it was

746
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 3: very efficient, like they had a nice little section. We

747
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 3: just kind of put everything in there. And I have

748
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 3: done like you know, Amazon in the past, and I

749
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 3: have to fill in a couple of gap with that,

750
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 3: but then it comes in all different millions of boxes

751
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 3: on different days and stuff, and I actually felt like

752
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,279
Speaker 3: this was in a way faster plus a little bit

753
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:10,759
Speaker 3: more fun for the kids because they could get to

754
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 3: pick out stuff. Obviously, we'll do our school supply school

755
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 3: episode later down the.

756
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 4: Road, but Target good job. Yeah, not that long from now,

757
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:20,800
Speaker 4: in fact, from when this is airing.

758
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 1: Yah.

759
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:24,240
Speaker 4: I was just trying to you, Yes, just a preview

760
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 4: of the back to school episode that you.

761
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 1: All know is coming. All right, Well, this has been

762
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:30,240
Speaker 1: best of both worlds.

763
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 4: We've been talking about moving and then a general mail

764
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,919
Speaker 4: bag episode. We will be back next week with more

765
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 4: on making work in life fit together.

766
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 3: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the

767
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 3: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram,

768
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 3: and you.

769
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 2: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This

770
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 2: has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join

771
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 2: us next time for more on making work and life

772
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 2: work together. OU