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Speaker 1: Hey, John, you're under arrest. Oh no, don't do it.

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Speaker 1: I'm an og okay start time podcast host. I don't care.

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Speaker 2: I'm making sure that you stay here for the next

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Speaker 2: two minutes.

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Speaker 1: All right, I'll be detained for the two more minutes

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Speaker 1: before we get into this episode. Yeah, we got some

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Speaker 1: ads coming up, so stick around.

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Speaker 2: Stick around. My boyfriend's brother is uncomfortable living with us

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Speaker 2: because we're not married yet.

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Speaker 3: He's clutching his pearls right now. Yeah, you're living in

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Speaker 3: sin Huth.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend and I have been together for two years

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Speaker 2: and lived together for one year. We are not religious

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Speaker 2: at all, and neither is his father. His mom goes

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Speaker 2: to church every now and then, but she isn't strict

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Speaker 2: on it. His parents are super sweet and accepting of everyone.

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Speaker 2: And by the way, this comes from user this is

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Speaker 2: kind of funny and if you want to submit your

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Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 2: So we decided to move in with his parents so

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Speaker 2: we can save money and finally finish school. Nick, my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend's brother, calls him and tells him how much he

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Speaker 2: loves us both and is happy that we're together. Whoever,

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Speaker 2: Nick and his wife Amy are uncomfortable with us living

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Speaker 2: together at his parents' house because we aren't married. They

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Speaker 2: even sat down with his parents and explained to them

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Speaker 2: how they're going to be hosting dinner at their place

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Speaker 2: from now on. The kids won't be able to spend

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Speaker 2: the night or have dinner here anymore. They'll come over

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Speaker 2: for lunch every now and then, though, and the reality

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Speaker 2: is that they hardly ever invite my boyfriend's parents over.

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Speaker 2: His mom told me she's only been to their house

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Speaker 2: six times in the past fifteen years. It really hurts

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Speaker 2: his parents. They love the kids and they feel like

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Speaker 2: they're being punished for this. The kids know that we

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Speaker 2: live together, so I'm guessing that Nick and Amy just

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Speaker 2: don't want them to witness it or show that they're

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Speaker 2: okay with us living together. His parents have done so

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Speaker 2: much for them, and to hear their own sons say

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Speaker 2: these words is so shocking.

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Speaker 1: I feel awful for his parents.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend's mom just lost her mother weeks ago, and

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Speaker 2: now they drop this on her. I just don't know.

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Speaker 2: It feels effed up. We're all pretty hurt from this,

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Speaker 2: and to be honest, I always felt uncomfortable around them,

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Speaker 2: but tried my best to get to know them. Still,

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Speaker 2: now I'm going to feel even more awkward. I was

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Speaker 2: raised to respect everyone and all religious views, but this

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Speaker 2: is leaving a bad taste in my mouth for sure.

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Speaker 2: I even feel like I want to avoid them. But

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Speaker 2: this is my boyfriend's brother. We are all going to

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Speaker 2: have to see each other again eventually. I just feel

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Speaker 2: like we are never ever going to see eye to

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Speaker 2: eye on anything because we are completely different people. I

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Speaker 2: usually avoid people like this, so it sucks that I

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Speaker 2: have to suck it up and just forget about it

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Speaker 2: and act normal. Have you guys been in this situation?

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Speaker 2: How did you guys deal with it? What are your thoughts?

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Speaker 2: Anything will help? Boyfriend is twenty seven male. There is

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Speaker 2: an update, Andreie.

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Speaker 1: Do you have any.

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Speaker 3: Thoughts maybe, like, is it the kind of thing where

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Speaker 3: the brother like doesn't stay with them until they are married? Like,

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Speaker 3: can he just kind of be annoying for a while

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Speaker 3: until they eventually get married.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: Oftentimes the solution is like, all right, you just got

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Speaker 2: to live your life and his mom not seeing the

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Speaker 2: grandkids is not on you.

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Speaker 3: On You're like not even involved in that situation.

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Speaker 2: So it's been about six months living with my boyfriend's.

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Speaker 1: Parents, and it's been amazing.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I just feel so blessed to have them in

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Speaker 2: my life. Before I get into the actual update with

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Speaker 2: Nick and Amy, my boyfriend's brother and his wife, I

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Speaker 2: want to be honest and explain the situation with my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend and I. That way, you guys will have a

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Speaker 2: better idea of why we're living with his parents. We

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Speaker 2: never finished college. I've been working ever since I was

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Speaker 2: sixteen years old. I was doing really well with my

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Speaker 2: so called career working at a bank, but it was

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Speaker 2: stressful and I hated it. It was not my passion

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Speaker 2: at all. Every single day I was dreading that nine

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Speaker 2: am to six pm schedule. It was soul crushing and draining.

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Speaker 2: I was living with my boyfriend, paying rent, and going

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Speaker 2: to school part time. My boyfriend worked with his dad's

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Speaker 2: landscaping company and went to school as well. To be honest,

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Speaker 2: it was just too hard. Finally, I quit my job

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Speaker 2: and decided to go back to school full time. His

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Speaker 2: parents agree that as long as we focus on school,

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Speaker 2: they're willing to take care of everything. My boyfriend and

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Speaker 2: is now at university majoring in computer engineering and I'm

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Speaker 2: transferring in the spring from my psychology degree, then going

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Speaker 2: from my teaching credentials. So this looks like it's going

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Speaker 2: to be a few years before we even get the

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Speaker 2: chance to move out and be independent again. We are very,

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Speaker 2: very blessed that we have the chance to finish school

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Speaker 2: and not worry about bills. We are so effing lucky. Well,

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Speaker 2: thank god, at least Op knows. Yeah, I read a

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Speaker 2: lot of storage people don't seem to understand right how

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Speaker 2: lucky or sometimes unlucky they are.

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Speaker 1: Op knows exactly where they're at.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good.

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Speaker 2: I know that there's no way I can ever pay

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Speaker 2: his parents back for this, but I know that I

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Speaker 2: will try my best to make them proud and support them.

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Speaker 2: So here's a little background about Amy and Nick so

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Speaker 2: you can also understand them better too. Apparently they weren't

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Speaker 2: always like this. According to my boyfriend, Nick was a

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Speaker 2: very fun, goofy older brother. He was more laid back

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Speaker 2: and care free, and Amy has always been more uptight

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Speaker 2: and a little clingy, rumors I heard from the family. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: Amy changed Nick's life around the better when they first

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Speaker 2: started dating. She got him to finish school and even

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Speaker 2: got him a job through her brother in law. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: she has made a huge impact on his life. Amy

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Speaker 2: is super sweet and nice in person, But there are

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Speaker 2: some things that I keep hearing about her, like she

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Speaker 2: got upset last year, which I didn't know about it

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Speaker 2: at the time, that my boyfriend, his other brother James,

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Speaker 2: and I put up the Christmas tree without her kids.

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Speaker 2: I remember them coming late that day and we left

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Speaker 2: ornaments for the kids to put on the tree. I

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Speaker 2: honestly did not know she was upset. As a kid, I.

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Speaker 1: Only cared about the ornaments. Hmmm, I remember that. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Would would you be her if if you were these

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Speaker 3: kids that got left out?

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Speaker 2: As long as there were still ornaments to put on

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Speaker 2: the tree, I wouldn't care.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: She had a small wedding in a different country with

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Speaker 2: just the immediate family. Somehow, after returning home, she left

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Speaker 2: her wedding photo album at my boyfriend's mom's house.

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Speaker 1: We'll call her Julie.

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Speaker 2: Amy was super upset with Julie because she let Nick's

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Speaker 2: aunts and cousins see the wedding pictures. Amy felt that

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Speaker 2: she should have been the one to show it to them.

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Speaker 2: Amy got mad at Julie for having the same decoration

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Speaker 2: picture on her kitchen wall. Julie just happened to buy

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Speaker 2: the exact same one by coincidence. Mm Amy likes to

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Speaker 2: feel like a special snowflake, doesn't she. Yeah, my boyfriend's

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Speaker 2: dad went to help out with the landscaping of their

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Speaker 2: new house. Apparently Nick's cousin, who was also helping, used

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Speaker 2: the upstairs bathroom because the downstairs bathroom was out of service.

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Speaker 2: Amy was pissed because she wasn't home and people shouldn't

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Speaker 2: be walking around in the house without her there. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: people like your actual husband's family.

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Speaker 1: Cool.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: She got upset when my boyfriend and his friend came

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Speaker 2: over to help Nick move furniture from downstairs to their

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Speaker 2: upstairs bedroom. She was upset at Nick because the bedroom

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Speaker 2: was a mess and nobody should have seen it. My

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Speaker 2: boyfriend said he didn't even notice anything messy.

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Speaker 1: Backs.

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Speaker 2: She gets mad when Nick drinks. Apparently she gives him

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Speaker 2: the crazy eye look when he has a drink in

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Speaker 2: his hand.

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Speaker 1: This one is new. Apparently.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't invite the family over because she doesn't want

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Speaker 2: them to feel uncomfortable. Their house is huge and nice.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't want them to think she has a lot

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Speaker 2: of money. She makes little sarcastic remarks here and there

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Speaker 2: when my boyfriend and I are holding hands or being affectionate. Wow,

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Speaker 2: you guys have to hold hands just to walk inside

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Speaker 2: the house? Was this woman saying Amy needs to learn

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Speaker 2: to let other people live.

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Speaker 3: She's doing too much.

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Speaker 2: Man, Amy is a micromanager, a macro manager as well.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she needs to chill.

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Speaker 3: Oh man.

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Speaker 2: She made a remark at James, the other brother and

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Speaker 2: his girlfriend when he complained his back hurt and the

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Speaker 2: girlfriend was like, oh, it's okay and rubbed his shoulders

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Speaker 2: for a second. Amy was like, hey, guys, not in

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Speaker 2: front of the kids.

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Speaker 3: All other people around their kids have to be like

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Speaker 3: sim characters and just NPC's just walking around. They can't

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Speaker 3: interact at all.

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Speaker 2: No touching, no touching feet of space, no touching.

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Speaker 3: No speaking, no holding hands, no walking around her house.

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Speaker 1: No affection.

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Speaker 2: We're trying to teach our kids that you're not supposed

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Speaker 2: to like your partner.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the kids are not allowed to learn any sort

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Speaker 3: of human affection at all.

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Speaker 1: We're raising lizards yep.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, yes, these are just some of the things

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Speaker 2: that I hear about her. I've witnessed the comments but

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Speaker 2: didn't think anything of it. I'm kind of oblivious that

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Speaker 2: way though. Did she mean something by it? Everyone seems

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Speaker 2: to think so. There's more stories from so many different people. Also,

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Speaker 2: what's strange to me is when she gets mad about something,

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Speaker 2: she never actually communicates directly to Julie or to the family.

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Speaker 2: She tells Nick, and then Nick is the one to

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Speaker 2: call everyone and explain everything, like, Hey, this bothered Amy

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Speaker 2: because X, Y and Z. What's even more crazy is

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Speaker 2: we all feel so awkward around her because of everything

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Speaker 2: that has happened. However, she has this smile on her

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Speaker 2: face and talks to us like nothing has ever happened.

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Speaker 2: In the meantime, everyone is just boiling inside and is

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Speaker 2: trying to keep the peace for the kids. Nobody dares

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Speaker 2: to say anything. Also, I don't know if this matters

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Speaker 2: or not, but Julie is actually Nick's step mom. Nick

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Speaker 2: and my boyfriend are half brothers. Julie has been a

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Speaker 2: part of Nick's life since he was about six years old. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: here's the update. Uh oh, Before we get into the update,

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Speaker 2: I just want to say, people like Amy, you just

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Speaker 2: got to ignore them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Fine, if she wants to isolate herself, because it's like

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Speaker 2: everyone else's values are too like despicable for her children

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Speaker 2: to be around.

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Speaker 1: Whatever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but if she's up in your space telling you

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Speaker 2: stuff just in one ear out the other. Yeah, not happening, Amy,

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Speaker 2: sorry about that, totally onto whatever you were doing.

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Speaker 3: She can't control what you guys are doing. You can't

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Speaker 3: control what she's doing.

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Speaker 2: We hardly ever see them. They told us that there

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Speaker 2: won't be any more dinners or sleepovers, but they're more

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Speaker 2: than happy to come over for lunch. On Father's Day,

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Speaker 2: Julie invited them over for lunch. We were going to

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Speaker 2: have a family barbecue with the cousins, the aunts, the uncles,

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Speaker 2: the kids, everybody. Nick was the only one who showed up.

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Speaker 2: He showed up without his kids and without Amy. Everyone

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Speaker 2: said he seemed different and unhappy and just awkward. This

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Speaker 2: was the first time he ever showed up without his family.

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Speaker 2: This was actually the last time he was at the

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Speaker 2: house too. On James's birthday, we had a dinner at

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Speaker 2: the house. James being the older brother. Julie and my

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Speaker 2: boyfriend Dad didn't invite Amy or Nick because they just

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Speaker 2: assumed they wouldn't want to come. Because of the whole situation.

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Speaker 2: Nick finds out about it and was hurt. You guys

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Speaker 2: should have still told us and we would have planned something.

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Speaker 2: Last night, we had another get together and Julie shoots

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Speaker 2: a message, Hey, we're having dinner Friday night with everyone.

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Speaker 2: I know because of the situation, you guys may not come,

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Speaker 2: but I just wanted to let you know. He responded

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Speaker 2: with thanks for the invite, but unfortunately the situation is

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Speaker 2: still the same.

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Speaker 1: So why are we upset? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Why are you mad You're not being told about stuff?

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Speaker 2: You literally just said, yeah, whatever, dude, I guess you're

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Speaker 2: gonna I would try to have an intervention with Nick

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Speaker 2: if I'm his family, if I'm related to him directly.

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Speaker 1: I know.

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Speaker 2: Oh, he's just a girlfriend in this context, so not

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Speaker 2: a whole lot.

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Speaker 1: Of weight, dude.

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Speaker 2: Just be like, Nick, your girlfriend is isolating you and

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Speaker 2: your family from the rest of us.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for no good reason. Yeah, and clearly.

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Speaker 3: Nick doesn't actually agree with her because he's showing.

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Speaker 2: Up without her, right absurd, Let's keep gone. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's pretty much the update. Julie's super hurt because she

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Speaker 2: barely sees the kids this year. It's actually Julie's turn

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Speaker 2: to host Christmas. Not sure how that will go down.

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Speaker 2: They're still keeping the kids away because I am living

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Speaker 2: with my boyfriend, and that makes us the worst examples

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Speaker 2: of all time in their eyes. I forgot to mention

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Speaker 2: that a lot of the family thinks this might be

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Speaker 2: an excuse to keep the kids away. Perhaps she wanted

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Speaker 2: this all along, not for religious reasons, but because I

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Speaker 2: don't know, she's crazy. Someone were saying how she was

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Speaker 2: the only daughter in law for many years, and here

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Speaker 2: comes me and James's new girlfriend. She has known the

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Speaker 2: family over twenty years, but I think she always kept

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Speaker 2: her distance for some reason, or kept her guard up.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely absurd detail that she's known these people for twenty

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Speaker 2: years and she has to have Nick be the communication

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Speaker 2: channel between her and everyone else.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and uh, do you ever remember how old the

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Speaker 3: kids are? Again, they're pretty young.

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Speaker 2: I don't think we even got told they might be

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Speaker 2: in the title. I'm not sure, but clearly they're young kids.

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Speaker 2: They're grandkids. They're young, impressionable kids who don't we don't

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Speaker 2: want to teach you to live with your girlfriend. It's

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Speaker 2: so strange, though, because the family is so awesome. James's

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Speaker 2: girlfriend and I click so well with them. I attend

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Speaker 2: all of the family gatherings and even went camping with

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Speaker 2: them this year. And by the way, you can camp

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Speaker 2: out and listen to full episodes with stories.

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Speaker 1: Just like this.

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Speaker 2: If you go to Spotify or Apple Podcasts or iHeartRadio

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Speaker 2: or wherever you listen to podcasts and search okay, storytime,

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Speaker 2: you'll find the entire archive and you can look through

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Speaker 2: it to your hearts content. Oh yeah, we have a

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Speaker 2: little bit more story left. Let's just daring Verne into it. Y,

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Speaker 2: let's do it. Okay, I guess I don't really need advice. Great, well,

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Speaker 2: I'm glad we didn't take any time thinking of any

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Speaker 2: right there. It's awkward seeing Nick and Amy, but I

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Speaker 2: just keep my distance. It's definitely hard to be around

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Speaker 2: people who are so judgmental, but now whatever, I barely

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Speaker 2: see them anyway. To be honest, I just feel bad

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Speaker 2: for their parents. They were so attached to the kids,

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Speaker 2: and the kids are always asking to come over and

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Speaker 2: asking why they can't. They always mention how they don't

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Speaker 2: understand it. They say it every single time they see Julie.

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Speaker 2: They end up crying to every time Julie has to

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Speaker 2: take them home.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: So, yeah, what are your thoughts on the situation. I mean,

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Speaker 2: there's nothing we can really do except to just let

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Speaker 2: it be. I would love to hear what you guys think, though.

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Speaker 2: I think Amy is gonna be confused when her kids

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Speaker 2: get older and don't want anything to do with it.

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Speaker 3: I agree, I agree.

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Speaker 1: Why won't my kids talk to me?

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Speaker 3: This is gonna have some backlash in the teenage years,

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Speaker 3: for sure.

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Speaker 2: Do you manage every aspect of their lives as a child, yep?

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Speaker 2: Don't be surprised when they're like, please leave me alone?

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Speaker 3: Yep, yep, yep.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, Also, they are Catholic. My boyfriend and I don't

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Speaker 2: even believe in God. If I had to choose anything,

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Speaker 2: it would probably be Buddhism. So yeah, definitely different backgrounds.

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Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 3: I refuse to kiss my pregnant mother in law's belly.

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Speaker 1: Now everyone's upset, as they should be. Trigger warning.

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Speaker 3: The story is going to talk about miscarriage and accidents.

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Speaker 3: So this is going to sound very weird, but it

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Speaker 3: is what it is. My husband, Jason twenty four male,

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Speaker 3: was born to his mother, Luna forty two female, when

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Speaker 3: she was eighteen almost nineteen out of her first marriage. Now.

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Speaker 3: Luna is from a rich Italian family out of Seattle,

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Speaker 3: where people sound like they're from Frasier. So even though

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Speaker 3: that marriage collapsed after Jason's birth, they didn't really struggle

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Speaker 3: in the conventional sense. But they're really really close to

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Speaker 3: each other. Like he and she do Tom Brady kisses

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Speaker 3: with each other. She does it with his sister too.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from prego mother in law,

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Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the r slash Okay storytime separread it. So we

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Speaker 3: got married earlier in the year, but the entire time

336
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Speaker 3: I've known Luna, it feels like she's been competing with me.

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Speaker 3: Not in a way for her son's attention, I don't think,

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Speaker 3: but like as a friendly rival or whatever. I don't

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Speaker 3: know how to put it since it doesn't seem malicious.

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Speaker 3: But like two years ago, she saw me doing an

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Speaker 3: app workout and she joined in. I kept doing it

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00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,320
Speaker 3: until she was not only better than me, but had

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Speaker 3: pretty good apps. That's to give you a glimpse as

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Speaker 3: to our relationship. I got pregnant earlier this year, unintentional,

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Speaker 3: but we decided to keep it and I kid you

346
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Speaker 3: not two months later Luna was pregnant too. That felt

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Speaker 3: really weird to me. Who wants their kid to be

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Speaker 3: older than their aunt or uncle? Real life isn't modern family,

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Speaker 3: Almost like she wanted to be like sisters who got

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Speaker 3: pregnant at the same time. I miscarried due to a

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Speaker 3: really bad car crash that we were in and in

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Speaker 3: his grief, It's like Jason completely turned to Luna while

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Speaker 3: I was in the hospital. When I got out, it

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Speaker 3: was really really weird, Like after visiting his mom's house,

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Speaker 3: he did the Tom Brady kiss with her and then

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Speaker 3: kissed her belly because apparently it's what he did when

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Speaker 3: he was three and she was pregnant with his sister.

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Speaker 3: I was freaking out when she asked me to do

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Speaker 3: it too, but I did it to just avoid causing

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Speaker 3: a fight. Since then, I have left his mom's house

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Speaker 3: early whenever we go, making up some excuse or another

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Speaker 3: to avoid the belly kisses, but have had to do

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Speaker 3: it like three more times. She is six months pregnant now,

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Speaker 3: and yesterday we visited her house. There she showed us

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Speaker 3: a picture of when she was seven months pregnant with

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Speaker 3: her daughter, Rhiannon twenty one female. They were of her

367
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,960
Speaker 3: taste old but still, but some were of her and

368
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Speaker 3: my toddler husband kissing her pregnant belly. She told us

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Speaker 3: she wanted to do this again, same style, and my

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Speaker 3: husband agreed. Apparently Rannon agreed to do it too. She

371
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Speaker 3: wants me to do it too, since I'll be the

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Speaker 3: mom of her future grand babies. I gave a non

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Speaker 3: committal answer, and when we got home, my husband argued

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Speaker 3: with me on giving his mom false hope, telling me

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Speaker 3: it was an a whole thing to just not say yes, okay, wow, So.

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Speaker 2: That makes him the aole for not being like you

377
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Speaker 2: can say no, yeah, you just need to say yes, yeah, because.

378
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Speaker 3: He can't be mad at leading her on giving her

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Speaker 3: false hope if he's not okay with the answer being no.

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Speaker 2: Right, Like what this is just weird, weird, and yeah,

381
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Speaker 2: she's totally allowed to feel uncomfortable about any and all

382
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Speaker 2: of this yes and not want to participate.

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Speaker 3: You know, I think it's fine for like a mother

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Speaker 3: to be like, you know, in front of her like

385
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Speaker 3: little children. I think it's like, you know, whatever, it's

386
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Speaker 3: just nature and everythingever, Yeah it's beautiful, but as an adult,

387
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:23,800
Speaker 3: it's not beautiful anymore it's not the same. Like if

388
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Speaker 3: if my future and mother in law asked me to

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Speaker 3: do that, I just had to be like in a

390
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Speaker 3: picture kissing my naked mother in law's belly. This is

391
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,160
Speaker 3: a little weird. I wouldn't be okay with that ever,

392
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Speaker 3: Super uncomfortable, super weird. I tried to point out to

393
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Speaker 3: him just how awkward it is and how I don't

394
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Speaker 3: feel comfortable, but he was having none of it. He

395
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Speaker 3: hasn't stopped talking to me, but I know he's pissed

396
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Speaker 3: that I don't want to kiss his mom's belly. But

397
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Speaker 3: am I the a hole for how I went about

398
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Speaker 3: this situation? And we have an edit. Felt like I

399
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,640
Speaker 3: needed to add this before it came up in every

400
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Speaker 3: other comment. Jason and I are in therapy regarding the

401
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,720
Speaker 3: fact that I almost passed away in the car crash,

402
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:02,280
Speaker 3: our baby passed away, that my leg doesn't work anymore,

403
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Speaker 3: and that he doesn't think he can move on.

404
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Speaker 2: You're not an a hole for giving a non committal answer,

405
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Speaker 2: because I feel like you've been made to feel like

406
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Speaker 2: you can't say no, which is the answer you would

407
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Speaker 2: want to get.

408
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. Belly kisses just didn't seem like a weighty

409
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,920
Speaker 3: enough issue given all else that we talk about there,

410
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Speaker 3: So for all the people who are going to recommend therapy,

411
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:24,320
Speaker 3: we already go and I will be bringing this up there,

412
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Speaker 3: and we do have some comments. But before we get

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Speaker 3: into those, do we think Opie's the a hole for

414
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Speaker 3: being in this situation?

415
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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 2: You know, just like if you want to like get clarity,

417
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,560
Speaker 2: just start actually speaking your mind.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then see how they react.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely so. Comments number one says, Wow, never thought

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Speaker 3: i'd have to say this, But not the a hole

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Speaker 3: for wanting to kiss your unclothed mother in law's stomach.

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Speaker 3: Comments are number two says, I can't get over the

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Speaker 3: fact that mother in law is making her daughter do

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Speaker 3: this so soon after the tragic loss of her own baby,

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Speaker 3: and with all of the injuries that she suffered in

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00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:03,080
Speaker 3: the acts, rather sickening. OPI responds, the only good thing

427
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Speaker 3: about my leg being like ninety five percent non functional

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Speaker 3: is that he doesn't pressure me at all to go

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Speaker 3: to her house when he wants to. Well, that's nice,

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Speaker 3: I guess, silver lining.

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Speaker 1: Silver lining.

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Speaker 3: If you ask why I still go, well I do

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Speaker 3: if he's had a crap day himself and would rather

434
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Speaker 3: be by his side. But yeah, we will be going

435
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,320
Speaker 3: to the therapist tomorrow and I will point out how

436
00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,119
Speaker 3: messed up it is, and in particular because of what

437
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,399
Speaker 3: we lost. I do know he'll understand that part at least.

438
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:33,160
Speaker 3: And someone else responds. And also for ditching his miscarrying

439
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,200
Speaker 3: wife in the hospital to go be by his mommy's

440
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,520
Speaker 3: side and kiss her pregnant belly instead, that would absolutely

441
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,520
Speaker 3: be divorce worthy for me. I'm not kidding. He would

442
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,159
Speaker 3: have papers served to him by the next week. She

443
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,639
Speaker 3: almost passed away in that car crash, her leg was

444
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:50,639
Speaker 3: permanently injured, she lost her baby, and her husband left

445
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,560
Speaker 3: her to be with his pregnant mommy. Oh Pi responds,

446
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 3: I do want to clarify he never ditched me in

447
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,159
Speaker 3: the hospital. He came to visit me every day, but

448
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,880
Speaker 3: obviously he wasn't there twenty four cents because of work,

449
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,040
Speaker 3: and in case I wasn't there to make us food,

450
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 3: he went back to his mom's place. He had ditched

451
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 3: me in the hospital. Had he not been there as

452
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 3: my crutch for my fed up leg whenever I needed

453
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,879
Speaker 3: him and gone to therapy, then yeah, I would have

454
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,119
Speaker 3: divorced him. The thing is, he's been there for me

455
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 3: in spite of how weird his mom's gotten about this.

456
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,879
Speaker 3: Another person responds, sorry, he had to go to his

457
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,320
Speaker 3: mother's because you weren't there to cook. Can he not cook? Oh?

458
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 3: He says he can cook. He initially started going there

459
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 3: because he absolutely refused to eat anything. As he told me,

460
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 3: he felt that he hadn't appreciated my cooking enough, which

461
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 3: made no sense because he absolutely did, and almost losing

462
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 3: me made him feel like he didn't deserve food. A wow.

463
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,159
Speaker 3: But obviously a man has to eat, So he started

464
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 3: going to his mother's. I'm guessing his sister told her

465
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 3: and she made him come over, and he just latched

466
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 3: onto her there in his grief, he still absolutely came

467
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,120
Speaker 3: to visit me every day. But yeah, I didn't want

468
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 3: to go into that much detail, but I made him

469
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 3: sound like good nuns.

470
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, made a little oops. He made it sound like

471
00:20:58,119 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 2: your husband baned you the hospital?

472
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, what can you do? But yeah, I would

473
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,200
Speaker 3: definitely not blame him for not being able to cook

474
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 3: for himself, because he's definitely going through this terrible thing

475
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,159
Speaker 3: as well. Right, we do have an updates. Do you

476
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 3: have any final thoughts before we move on?

477
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,240
Speaker 1: I think let's just get into it.

478
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,199
Speaker 3: Let's just get into it. I brought the issue up

479
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,719
Speaker 3: in therapy. Thanks everyone for helping me give words to

480
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,680
Speaker 3: use and helping identifying my own pain, and I think

481
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 3: the therapist was shocked. I pointed out how it hurt

482
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 3: me to have to kiss a pregnant belly. It only

483
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,200
Speaker 3: felt like Luna was having to compete with me. Jason

484
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 3: seemed really regretful. He apologized, and I know he was

485
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 3: holding back tears. He promised that he'd make sure Luna

486
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 3: never asked again. I then pointed out how odd the

487
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 3: idea of taking tasteful news with his pregnant mom was.

488
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 3: He got defensive, but at home he told me that

489
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 3: I was right and that he'd only do the photos

490
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,960
Speaker 3: if she was clothed. Still weird, but progress. I also

491
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 3: got him to agree that we wouldn't be having kids

492
00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,919
Speaker 3: until we were one hundred percent sure that Luna couldn't

493
00:21:58,960 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 3: have kids anymore.

494
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:00,400
Speaker 1: Oh wow.

495
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 3: Unfortunately, two days later, my legs condition got worse. I

496
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 3: woke up, tried to stand and fell, screaming and crying.

497
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,920
Speaker 3: I got hospitalized for two weeks and then had in

498
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 3: patient physical therapy for three weeks. During this time, Jason

499
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 3: regressed back to his mom. The photo shoot was taken,

500
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 3: and Luna texted me the pictures. She wasn't nude and

501
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 3: there were no belly kisses, but it was sheer and uncomfortable,

502
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:27,240
Speaker 3: especially with my meds. Honestly, I started googling divorce stuff

503
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 3: until a nurse put my phone away.

504
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 1: Oh wow.

505
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 3: After I went back home, it just didn't feel right

506
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 3: with Jason anymore. It was like Luna won and had

507
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,479
Speaker 3: replaced me. I guess he realized it wasn't working and

508
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 3: those photos were the last straw. So after a week

509
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 3: he asked for a chance, but said if divorce was

510
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 3: what I wanted, he'd go for it. I told him

511
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 3: I did, because he wasn't the man I married anymore,

512
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:48,920
Speaker 3: and I didn't think he could go back. He just

513
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,920
Speaker 3: said okay and was kind of frozen as we started

514
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 3: the process. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I feel like that really

515
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,399
Speaker 3: just escalated fast.

516
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 2: Does mean it can seem that way, But losing a

517
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:06,159
Speaker 2: child and then becoming physically disabled and then yeah, also,

518
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,680
Speaker 2: your husband is now seeking comfort from his own mother,

519
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 2: who's kind of way young because she had him when

520
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 2: she was eighteen and she's pregnant at the same time.

521
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 2: That is so much to put on top of a marriage. Yeah,

522
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 2: it makes perfect sense to me that I think it

523
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 2: ended with divorce.

524
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 3: I think I guess I'm just confused why, Like, like,

525
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 3: it seems like it was working out with the with

526
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 3: going to therapy. It seemed like, you know, he apologized,

527
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 3: he you know, came to the realization that it was

528
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 3: weird to pose with his mother. But I think I'm

529
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 3: confused why the fact that he still took pictures was

530
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 3: like the last straw and why.

531
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,800
Speaker 2: That I think it's I think it's it all comes

532
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 2: back to the kid.

533
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 1: It all comes back to.

534
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 2: The loss and that his mom's pregnant and that there's

535
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 2: like it's the pregnancy being a thing and that she

536
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,879
Speaker 2: was just like this weird and he never saw it was.

537
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

538
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,920
Speaker 2: Now it's just like be true too. It's like, do

539
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 2: you want a day little Mommy's boy?

540
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:12,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you know that would make sense, but huh

541
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 3: man yaosa yaosa. But uh, you know what else makes sense?

542
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 3: Is you going to Spotify, iHeart Radio or Apple podcasts

543
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 3: to search Okay, storytime because you know what you're gonna

544
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,400
Speaker 3: find there. You're gonna find full episodes with more stories

545
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 3: just like this one. Just wow, search us up. Wow,

546
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 3: it makes so much sense.

547
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:33,760
Speaker 1: Wow.

548
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit more into the story.

549
00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna jump right into it, all right. But

550
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,440
Speaker 3: then I had a bad fall when I stupidly tried

551
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 3: to go down the stairs alone. I hate my leg

552
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 3: and the way he took care of me was like

553
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 3: he was himself again. I asked if he still wanted

554
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,239
Speaker 3: another chance, and he said he did, but didn't think

555
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 3: that he could do it here. He asked if I'd

556
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 3: be willing to move somewhere far away from his family

557
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 3: and leave them behind so we could focus on us.

558
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:02,120
Speaker 2: Oh, wow, brother, Mike, did you know that your problems

559
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 2: will follow you wherever you go?

560
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:04,879
Speaker 1: What?

561
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not really just that your family exists near you,

562
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,719
Speaker 2: it's that all this stuff has happened.

563
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that will follow you.

564
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,679
Speaker 3: And I said yes because I was planning on leaving

565
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 3: as soon as we divorced. We're moving to Albuquerque because

566
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,439
Speaker 3: his mom can't go there, and I got a referral

567
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 3: to a treatment facility that will help. Honestly, these last

568
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 3: few days before we leave for our new life have

569
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 3: been just like my old life, except I have a

570
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 3: ninety five percent bum leg now and it's been great

571
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 3: having the man I love back. I don't know much

572
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 3: about New Mexico, but I'm excited.

573
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:35,640
Speaker 1: All right.

574
00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 2: It's real dry, it's a little dusty. Yeah, it's pretty windy.

575
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 2: I hope you like rock climbing the well. I mean

576
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 2: she can't with the.

577
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 3: Leg so.

578
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 1: Well, really, but that is the end of that story. Yeah,

579
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 1: hey's John og host.

580
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

581
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 2: free minute break of ads from our sponsors. My mother

582
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 2: in law doesn't like me. I don't want her around

583
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 2: my future children.

584
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 3: It seems fair to me.

585
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 2: When I first met her, I was very excited because

586
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 2: my husband used to talk about his mom a lot

587
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 2: and they had a very close relationship. She seemed like

588
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 2: an amazing woman from everything he told me, and when

589
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,480
Speaker 2: I met her, she honestly reminded me of missus Claws.

590
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 2: She had rosy cheeks, short white hair, and cute circle glasses.

591
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 2: I was so excited to get to know her personally.

592
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user throwaway account t

593
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 2: t and if you want to submit your own stories,

594
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So at first,

595
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 2: she was very nice and sweet to me. She and

596
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,399
Speaker 2: I talked a lot upon our first meeting, and I

597
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:51,359
Speaker 2: felt like there was a real connection. However, she didn't

598
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 2: stay that way, and it was only a faca when

599
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 2: it was announced that my husband and I were engaged.

600
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,959
Speaker 1: She did not like that. At first.

601
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 2: She was opposed to it because she felt like we

602
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 2: hadn't really dated that long. It had been six months,

603
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 2: and I did agree with that. You don't want your

604
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,359
Speaker 2: child rushing into marriage with someone they haven't been with

605
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 2: for even a year. She tried to talk him out

606
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 2: of it, and like I said, at first, I understood

607
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 2: where she was coming from, but after a while that

608
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,679
Speaker 2: would be the only thing she would talk about. I

609
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 2: would hear him on the phone with her, and I

610
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 2: could hear him saying yes, I'm sure, like ten times.

611
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 2: He ended up telling me that she thought I pressured

612
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 2: him into proposing to me, which was not even the case.

613
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 2: We never even talked about marriage. Yeah, he brought it

614
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 2: up in passing, like I would want to marry you

615
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 2: one day, But I've heard the same thing from high

616
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 2: school boyfriends, so I didn't think much of it. It

617
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,640
Speaker 2: did start to irritate me a little that she would

618
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,439
Speaker 2: constantly question him about a big decision like that and

619
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 2: try to make him change his mind, because I thought

620
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 2: she and I had a decent relationship. But when I

621
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,639
Speaker 2: talked about it with friends and family, they told me

622
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 2: not to take it personally because he is her only child,

623
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 2: so she's not ready to.

624
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 1: Let go and such and blah blah blah blah blah.

625
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 2: So I learned how to swallow it down, but things

626
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 2: only got worse from there. I invited her to go

627
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 2: shopping with me and my family. I thought maybe if

628
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 2: she saw the dresses and whatnot, she would get excited.

629
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 2: And she did look at dresses with me, asking if

630
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 2: I would like this or that, and she was smiling,

631
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,399
Speaker 2: So of course, I'm like, good, she's in a good mood.

632
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 2: Maybe she's accepting it. While I was in the dressing room,

633
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 2: she knocked on the door and came in. She grabbed

634
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 2: my hand and got in a very low voice, saying,

635
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 2: I wasn't gonna ask this, but is my son paying

636
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 2: for that dress? The way she asked it in such

637
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 2: a sweet voice made me not realize her true feelings

638
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 2: at first, So I said, yes he was, and she said, oh, well, traditionally,

639
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:36,480
Speaker 2: the bride's family does.

640
00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

641
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 2: Soh, yeah, she's right about that, but he wanted to

642
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,360
Speaker 2: pay for it, so why were her painties all in

643
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 2: a bunch?

644
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 1: It was awkward with her after that.

645
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 2: Then at our wedding rehearsal, she tells him that she's

646
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 2: there for him, and she emphasized it. That really bothered me,

647
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 2: because she should be here for both of us. Then,

648
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,160
Speaker 2: of course, at the dinner rehearsal, we did toast. At

649
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 2: the dinner instead of at the wedding. Everyone was saying

650
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 2: all nice and wonderful things about both of us, and

651
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 2: it was really sentimental. His mother gets to make her

652
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 2: toast and all she says is, I've prayed about this,

653
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,719
Speaker 2: and I think you need to call off the wedding.

654
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 3: Ah.

655
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:17,760
Speaker 1: No, the wedding was literally the next day.

656
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:18,479
Speaker 3: No.

657
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,360
Speaker 1: I was so pissed off about that.

658
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: Fast forward three years later, my husband was out of

659
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 2: town working and his mom's birthday was coming up and

660
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 2: she was having a party. Of course, with our history,

661
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 2: I was hesitant to show up. We hadn't really had

662
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,920
Speaker 2: many interactions after the wedding. There had been some awkward encounters,

663
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,320
Speaker 2: but either way, I decided to show my face at

664
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 2: her birthday party. I sent her a little text saying

665
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 2: I was going to be in attendance. About a week before.

666
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 2: I go to the party and I spot my husband's

667
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 2: ex girlfriend there. I had never met her before, but

668
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 2: I knew what she looked like. First off, why is

669
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 2: she here? Why is she in contact with my mother

670
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 2: in law? I know exactly why.

671
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: You want to know why why?

672
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 2: But all my pop culture heads out there, this is

673
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 2: a hypothetical Justice Bieber in this story is married to

674
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 2: hypothetical Hayley Bieber, but mom wants the marriage to be

675
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 2: with hypothetical Selena Gomez, who she had always thought was

676
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 2: really the one for hypothetical Justin Bieber. YEP, that's all

677
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 2: this is. I completely agree. Thanks for putting it in

678
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 2: terms that I understand. Thank You're welcome. Thank you're welcome.

679
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 2: Thank you for understanding. I come to find out my

680
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,960
Speaker 2: mother in law still chats with her. While I was there,

681
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 2: I was forced to talk to this woman and pretend

682
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 2: to be friendly with her. Then his mom makes this

683
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 2: snarky comment to the ex girlfriend that they dated for

684
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:37,240
Speaker 2: eight years and that's a.

685
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 1: Really long time to be with someone.

686
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah, as if she was trying to rub

687
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 2: it in my face. I'm just like, Wow, that's crazy.

688
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 2: He dated someone for eight years and didn't want to

689
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 2: marry her.

690
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 5: Ooh, that's a great thing to say. No, you've been

691
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 5: forced into this position, so I can't. That was the

692
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 5: perfect response.

693
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 2: I get why it may be confusing why he didn't

694
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,160
Speaker 2: get married to someone he dated for eight years, because

695
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 2: that's almost a decade. But he told me he just

696
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 2: never loved her in that way. She kept bringing up

697
00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 2: her job and all the things going on in her life,

698
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 2: trying to make me feel inferior. After that, I was

699
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 2: done with his mom. I don't give an f about her.

700
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 2: I told him what she did, that she obviously planned

701
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 2: for this woman to come so she could try to

702
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: mess with my head. My husband was also upset that

703
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:24,920
Speaker 2: she did that and did stick up for me. It

704
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 2: kind of created a rift in their relationship as well.

705
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 2: They weren't talking as much, and of course she blamed

706
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 2: me for that. She claimed that I turned her son

707
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 2: against her and that he's whipped. Why would she say

708
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 2: that about her daughter in law? We finally had to

709
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 2: sit down talk about what was going on. We each

710
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 2: had a turn to speak about the problem, so I

711
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 2: said my part. Then she said her real reason for

712
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 2: hating me. She thinks I married her son for his money.

713
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 2: She says that when he met me, I didn't have

714
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 2: a penny to my name, and that really hurt me

715
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 2: because I grew up poor. She's mad that he didn't

716
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 2: get a prenup and it's a standard procedure when someone

717
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 2: has a certain wealth status. She said his last girlfriend

718
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 2: was perfect for him because they had careers and wealth

719
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 2: and she was blonde. That comment made my stomach turn

720
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 2: because I'm black. Oh, man, might as well have just said, man,

721
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 2: she was perfect because she had a job and she

722
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 2: wasn't black and she yeah, and also you're black and

723
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. I don't like that you're black, Like, yeah,

724
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 2: what are you talking about?

725
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:23,280
Speaker 1: Blonde?

726
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 2: You might as well have been like, oh, well, she

727
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 2: has blonde.

728
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 3: Hair, blue eyes, you know, perfect.

729
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 1: I like the literature she reads.

730
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:34,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever, dude, that's crazy.

731
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's an absurd thing to just like

732
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 3: slip in there.

733
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 2: I got this sick feeling that it was the real

734
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:43,840
Speaker 2: reason she hates me, not because I was poor, but

735
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 2: because of my skin color. She also said that she

736
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 2: hopes we never have children, which is something we both

737
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 2: want dearly, and I couldn't help but get emotional about that.

738
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,880
Speaker 1: By the way, you can get.

739
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 2: Emotional listening to full episodes with stories just like this

740
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 2: on Spotify app podcasts, iHeartRadio. Wherever you listen to podcasts,

741
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 2: just search Okay, Storytime, and that's all you need to do.

742
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 3: It's so easy.

743
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 2: You'll find over two thousand episodes to listen to. Wow, Uh,

744
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 2: there is a little bit more story left here. We

745
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 2: actually kind of a decent chunk amount. But like, do

746
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 2: you have a solution to this awful mother in law?

747
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 3: I don't know what you do with a mother in

748
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 3: law that is, I don't know what to do with those.

749
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you just completely disregard her from now on.

750
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll have.

751
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 2: To, especially if she's like low key just not even

752
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 2: low key, just high key telling a black woman that

753
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 2: you were like, yeah, his extra is perfect because she

754
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 2: was blonde.

755
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 3: Just adding that in as if we wouldn't notice.

756
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 2: Just like we see like, oh and coincidentally, there are

757
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 2: no blonde black people right right, unless You'm, well, actually,

758
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe you can with a very specific

759
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 2: if they have sessta leels, yeah, I don't know, or whatio.

760
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 3: Or something, or have certain pigmentation things. I'm sure it exists,

761
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 3: but typically, But.

762
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 2: That was very much just an underhanded way of saying

763
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 2: like I wish you were white, yeah, which is crazy, Yeah,

764
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 2: and would make sense why she's so anti U.

765
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, No one is going to care about someone's hair

766
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,360
Speaker 3: color if they don't actually mean their skin color. You

767
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:25,879
Speaker 3: know what I mean?

768
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,799
Speaker 2: Like that kind of right right. My husband thinks I'm

769
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 2: taking the blonde part the wrong way, but he agrees

770
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 2: the statement about the children is low. Well, dude, yeah,

771
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 2: she's not saying anything about the kids if she's not like,

772
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:38,839
Speaker 2: I don't want you to have mixed race kids.

773
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, so of course the hair thing is the same thing.

774
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

775
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,400
Speaker 1: Can you get one of those and not get the

776
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 1: other one?

777
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:45,399
Speaker 3: They are?

778
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 1: That's crazy.

779
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:48,879
Speaker 2: I realize he grew up in a small town where

780
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 2: there's nothing but white people. His mom imagined him with

781
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,839
Speaker 2: a white woman, and he brings home a poor black

782
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 2: girl and marries her in six months. It all makes

783
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:58,799
Speaker 2: sense now. He keeps saying that she doesn't hate me.

784
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 2: She's just stuck in her way and is very traditional

785
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 2: aka stuck in her ways and very traditional in this

786
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 2: context is just yeah, she's just stuck in her ways.

787
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 2: She's very traditional. She hates black people. Yeah, but it's okay.

788
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 3: But no, No, it.

789
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 2: Does hurt that he can't just call it what it

790
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 2: is and stop making excuses for her. I would never

791
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,839
Speaker 2: in my life try to get my husband to choose

792
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 2: between me and his mom, because that's just not right.

793
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,320
Speaker 2: But I seriously don't want this woman in my life

794
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 2: nor our unborn children's lives. He obviously doesn't want that.

795
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 2: But I don't know where to go from here.

796
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 1: Comment number one.

797
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 2: Here, he's going to continuously make excuses for her. You

798
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 2: have to decide if you're okay with that. She's not

799
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 2: going anywhere. She's rist and he either doesn't see it

800
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 2: as that or he's willing to overlook it. I know

801
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 2: you may love him, but to try to keep this

802
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 2: woman in your life shows he doesn't care about you.

803
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,879
Speaker 2: I meant to ask your husband why his mother would

804
00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 2: prefer a blonde. There's no reason she being you deserve

805
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 2: the right to not be around her. That ain't your mother?

806
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 2: Oh p he said, exactly. We have been over it

807
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 2: too much many times. He is living in denial because

808
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 2: to him, blonde is just a hair color and nothing more.

809
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 2: Comments like that tend to go over people's heads who

810
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 2: have never been exposed to racial microaggressions like that. But

811
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:11,839
Speaker 2: like you said, she's not my mother, so I have

812
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 2: no desire to be in her life. Comment three says

813
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 2: his mom is he is an apologist. You do what

814
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 2: you will with that information. All I will say is

815
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 2: do not bring by racial children into this world.

816
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,080
Speaker 1: Knowing this, Oh p downvoted.

817
00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:27,600
Speaker 2: I think he's just sticking up for his mom and

818
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 2: wants to keep the image he has of her just

819
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 2: being perfect. I would never want to bring my children

820
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 2: into a family where their grandma will make them feel

821
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 2: horrible about themselves.

822
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: Reply.

823
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,879
Speaker 2: See, just with this comment, you're protecting this man. Why, well,

824
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 2: because he's your husband. Yet his mom can say whatever

825
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 2: and he doesn't protect you his wife.

826
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:45,479
Speaker 1: Guys, why are we.

827
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,919
Speaker 2: Protect Why are we pretending though, like that's not complicated.

828
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:49,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is true.

829
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 1: It's not like.

830
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 2: His mom like was like just dropping like flat out

831
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 2: racial slurs and being like you're disgusting and I hate you.

832
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 1: Sure, and as being like, she's just true. Additional like yeah,

833
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 1: being told I don't know.

834
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 2: I've been told information about people that completely flipped my

835
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 2: perspective on them. But the moment I was told it,

836
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 2: I didn't just do a one to eighty and go okay.

837
00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 2: It was like it had to bake, It had to

838
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:19,239
Speaker 2: sink in. I had to see things for myself.

839
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 3: Right, you gotta get more context of the situation. Yeah,

840
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 3: but the internet doesn't like right, the Internet likes to And.

841
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 2: It is important though, like if he is that he's

842
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 2: not seeing this, you need to continue to try to

843
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 2: make him see this.

844
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 1: Yes, it's not just like a oh, we'll put it.

845
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 2: Oh, well, it's like a well it's I don't think

846
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 2: he's the devil, but I also don't think it's good

847
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,319
Speaker 2: that he doesn't see his mom would be to his

848
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 2: own children.

849
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 3: In what other situations is he gonna you know, like,

850
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 3: are if people are microaggressive towards his children, is he

851
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 3: going to ignore that let happen or something? You know,

852
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 3: it can cause some other problem.

853
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 2: If the roles were reversed, you would never allow that

854
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 2: to happen. He's a grown man, he's not a child anymore.

855
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:05,520
Speaker 2: And wife should come before mom, because you are now

856
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 2: his future. Really decide if a husband who won't protect

857
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 2: you is the husband for you. Opie says, he has

858
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 2: stood up for me before, just not when it comes

859
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 2: to the discriminatory comment. I can't make him cut her out.

860
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 2: It's something he has to decide on his own. If

861
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,600
Speaker 2: I get in his ear and tell him to cut

862
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 2: her off because she's a horrible person, then he'll just

863
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 2: be upset with me. I think it's something he has

864
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:24,560
Speaker 2: to figure out on his own. And as long as

865
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,800
Speaker 2: he understands, I won't nor will our kids be around

866
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 2: her coming for says, Ask him if he can truly

867
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 2: one hundred percent believe that his mom will indefinitely show

868
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 2: your future children love and kindness, that she won't be

869
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,840
Speaker 2: cruel or constantly make remarks that they're inferior in her mind.

870
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 2: And if he thinks your children deserve that treatment because well,

871
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:43,440
Speaker 2: she's stuck in her ways.

872
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 1: Opie says.

873
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,840
Speaker 2: He thinks that she'll come around when we actually have children,

874
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,280
Speaker 2: because she loves kids. But I don't believe it. Ooh,

875
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 2: and I don't want to risk my children's mental health

876
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,440
Speaker 2: on it. I lived through a spiteful grandma, and no

877
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 2: kid deserves that. There's a reply. Has she ever been

878
00:38:56,760 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 2: around non white kids? Opie says, probably not. Lives in

879
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 2: a small town with only white people, so unless she

880
00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,560
Speaker 2: traveled somewhere, then there's a possibility. And that is the

881
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:09,839
Speaker 2: end of that story. My mother is furious that I

882
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 2: got engaged. She thinks I'm too young.

883
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:16,640
Speaker 3: You can't do it, you too little. She did it while.

884
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 1: Pinching your cheeks. At'd be great.

885
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 3: Young too, kiek commune.

886
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 2: My mother and I have always had a very up

887
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,760
Speaker 2: and down relationship. We are either best friends or screaming

888
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:31,479
Speaker 2: at each other. But over the past few years she's

889
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 2: quit work and I've gotten my mental health under control,

890
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 2: so we've been best friends ninety percent of the time.

891
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 1: Wow.

892
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user Judiciary Giraffe, and

893
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

894
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime separated it. So, my mother

895
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 2: has always been very against getting married young. She is

896
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 2: completely convinced that you will not last if you get

897
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,240
Speaker 2: married young, that you change too much in your twenties,

898
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:55,800
Speaker 2: and it's.

899
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,720
Speaker 1: Without fail, a terrible idea. Blah blah blah blah blah.

900
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 2: I disagree with her a sa ve and have many

901
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 2: friends that have gotten married in their twenties and are

902
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 2: very happy. She dismisses all those cases and instead tells

903
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,160
Speaker 2: me a few of her own anecdotes, which apparently should

904
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,919
Speaker 2: be taken as fact. I generally just rolled my eyes

905
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 2: at this point and moved on, as this isn't something

906
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 2: I really felt the need to get worked up about.

907
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,760
Speaker 2: Mom informed me when I was twenty and first met

908
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,240
Speaker 2: my significant other that I wasn't allowed to get engaged

909
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:24,839
Speaker 2: until I was twenty six. I jokingly haggled her down

910
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 2: from thirty and married until I'm twenty eight. She also

911
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 2: enforced a strict rule at that as soon as I

912
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 2: move in with, or get engaged to, or just generally

913
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,200
Speaker 2: pair off semi permanently with someone, that I was one

914
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 2: hundred percent cut off financially. This included school fees. My

915
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 2: parents are quite wealthy and we're paying my tuition at

916
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 2: the time, although I paid my own living expenses. So

917
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,760
Speaker 2: I met my fiance, who I'm going to call John,

918
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 2: in my third year of my undergraduate degree. I was

919
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,319
Speaker 2: going to school on the east coast of Canada and

920
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:57,399
Speaker 2: my parents live in the west. We fell for each

921
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 2: other instantly and began dating. We were talking about being

922
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,319
Speaker 2: together long term after a few months, much to my

923
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 2: shock and surprise, due to Mom's no financial help if

924
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 2: you move in together rule. When I decided to go

925
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 2: to law school, John and I put off living together

926
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,000
Speaker 2: for a few years so that I could.

927
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: Get help with my law school tuition.

928
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,840
Speaker 2: We were planning on spending our lives together anyway, getting

929
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 2: engaged could wait a few years if it meant we

930
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 2: wouldn't have to carry law school dead around for the

931
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 2: rest of our lives. That being said, we would spend

932
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 2: most nights together at one apartment or the other, usually

933
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 2: staking out at my apartment so I didn't have to

934
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 2: carry all my law textbooks around. Mom was well aware

935
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:35,720
Speaker 2: of this, and, other than a couple of snarky comments

936
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 2: about not having fun with dating around and being with

937
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 2: someone below the pay grades she would expect, John is

938
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 2: in the army, and as I mentioned, I grew.

939
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,640
Speaker 1: Up quite wealthy. Other than this, she was generally fine

940
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:46,920
Speaker 1: with it.

941
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 2: I graduated from law school this past spring and began

942
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 2: articling almost immediately. I also began the process of moving

943
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 2: into John's apartment, although my lease didn't expire until the

944
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 2: end of August, so I'm still keeping my apartment for

945
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 2: when he's on exercise because it's closer to my work

946
00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 2: and there was no point in rushing the horror that

947
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,240
Speaker 2: is moving. John and I took a trip out west

948
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 2: to celebrate my dad's sixty fifth birthday. Because it's quite

949
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 2: a long trip, we turned it into a mini holiday,

950
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 2: spending a lot of time in the mountains, which I

951
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 2: missed dearly living out East. During this holiday, at the

952
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 2: top of a favorite hike, John proposed, que so cute.

953
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,080
Speaker 1: Oh, it's cute.

954
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,480
Speaker 6: I am worried about the bag though, about his his bag, No,

955
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 6: about her bag, her bag.

956
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 1: She don't got no bag. Well, her parents are like, we.

957
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,320
Speaker 3: Will cover you until you get married.

958
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then she still got the bag. I guarantee

959
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,720
Speaker 2: you there's a trust fund in this situation.

960
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,399
Speaker 1: Somewhere she shall have to wait for.

961
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:50,360
Speaker 2: She's just not getting like monthly payments anymore. Yeah, she

962
00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 2: still got assets on deck. Mon helps a lot, sure,

963
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 2: but like, come on, honestly, if you have a family

964
00:42:58,200 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 2: of your own, like, I don't think you should be

965
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 2: getting paid monthly bamits.

966
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,439
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I mean I'm not, but I'm just saying,

967
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:05,280
Speaker 6: in this particular situation, that'd be nice.

968
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,399
Speaker 2: Ooh ooh, Now I'm thinking on your train of thought here. Yep,

969
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 2: you know exactly I said, all aboard.

970
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 1: I just hopped on.

971
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 2: What's the next thing we need to do after being proposed?

972
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:15,799
Speaker 2: This is the only way I would be okay with

973
00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 2: doing this?

974
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 1: What the prenup? No? No, no, no. The other thing

975
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 1: you try to choke hold me to do? Oh, the

976
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 1: secret wedding. No way that I would have.

977
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 2: Never thought you were gonna I'm on board here and

978
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:27,839
Speaker 2: Chris in the secret wedding.

979
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, and this one, oh yeah. It was like a

980
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 1: fairy tale.

981
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 2: It was exactly as I would have wanted it in

982
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,560
Speaker 2: an ideal world. We were so happy and made our

983
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,359
Speaker 2: way back to town to celebrate with my parents. When

984
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 2: we got home and announced the news, Dad burst into.

985
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,440
Speaker 1: Happy tears and came to hug us both okay.

986
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 2: Mom went stone cold, gave us the most awkward, stilted

987
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:52,879
Speaker 2: hugs of all time, and barely spoke for the rest

988
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:54,840
Speaker 2: of the evening. All she would say is Dad was

989
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 2: congratulating us, was that she hoped it worked out. I

990
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 2: was rush. It took all of my self control, not

991
00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:04,920
Speaker 2: to burst into tears and all of John's not to

992
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:08,040
Speaker 2: go off on her. That crazy, awkward night was last Friday,

993
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 2: and we were due to leave first things Sunday morning.

994
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 2: I had a good cry that night, and John and

995
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,280
Speaker 2: I decided that maybe if we can get her excited

996
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:17,359
Speaker 2: about individual aspects of the wedding, she'll accept that her

997
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:19,920
Speaker 2: baby girl is old enough to get married and maybe

998
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 2: being engaged at twenty four is not the end of

999
00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 2: the world. So Saturday night, Dad decides he wants to

1000
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,840
Speaker 2: take us all out to this beautiful dinner to celebrate.

1001
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:29,800
Speaker 2: He picks a place Mom at doors on purpose, manages

1002
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 2: to get us in last minute by some miracle, and

1003
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:36,319
Speaker 2: orders champagne everything. After the initial toast, we don't talk

1004
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:39,760
Speaker 2: about the engagement much because although Mom is less outright angry,

1005
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,840
Speaker 2: she still refuses input, aside from one word when Dad

1006
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,760
Speaker 2: asks her a direct question. When dessert comes, the waiter

1007
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 2: asks about when the wedding will be, so the topic

1008
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 2: comes up again when he leaves. I suggest that my

1009
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 2: mom and her sister come out east at some point

1010
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,879
Speaker 2: to go wedding dress shopping. That's a moment every mom

1011
00:44:55,960 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 2: waits for. Right wrong, She mutters something about ew something

1012
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 2: else I'll have to pay for all, which my dad

1013
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 2: responds with, Oh, come on, oh PE's mom.

1014
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, whose money is this?

1015
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:10,280
Speaker 6: I know as a couple, you guys both have money

1016
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:12,879
Speaker 6: and it's both of your money, and I agree with that,

1017
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 6: and this is really a wrong question.

1018
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about it. Whose money was it?

1019
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 2: Well, I think regardless of that, it's just weird that

1020
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 2: you're like, all right, once you get married, you're cut off,

1021
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 2: and now at the very finish line you're like, great,

1022
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:28,239
Speaker 2: one more thing. It's like it's the wedding dress, and

1023
00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 2: then after that literally nothing ever again you're gonna complain

1024
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 2: about that? Feels weird. It feels weird.

1025
00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 6: Wow, So everyone's saying twenty four is a great age.

1026
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:38,840
Speaker 6: You get engaged too? Can everyone clip that?

1027
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 1: Thank you? Stop it? I'm not for me. Riley's building

1028
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,720
Speaker 1: is a gender. I don't want to get engaged.

1029
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 2: I had no plans to ask for money for the wedding,

1030
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 2: zero none, not a I'm making good money articling, and

1031
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 2: John has been saving for years.

1032
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:56,800
Speaker 1: We want a.

1033
00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:00,280
Speaker 2: Small wedding close to home, at a friend's property outside

1034
00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 2: of town. Mom goes on a tirade about how I've

1035
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 2: always just taken advantage of her financial generosity, and now

1036
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 2: that it was convenient, I was breaking her trust by

1037
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,759
Speaker 2: getting engaged this young when I knew she was against it,

1038
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:15,440
Speaker 2: and so on and so forth. She stormed into the

1039
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:18,120
Speaker 2: bathroom and I went to go cry outside. It was

1040
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:21,320
Speaker 2: a disaster. Dad suggested John and I take a cab home,

1041
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 2: and we did and went straight to my room. We

1042
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 2: left Sunday morning with a stilted hug, and I haven't

1043
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 2: talked to Mom since.

1044
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:29,319
Speaker 1: From what Dad tells me, she's still refusing to.

1045
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 2: Admit she was wrong. Dad also won't push back too much.

1046
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,400
Speaker 2: Although he disagrees with her, he doesn't want to destroy

1047
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 2: his marriage, and I didn't expect him to. Dad has

1048
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 2: also dismissed all indications that I work out a payment

1049
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 2: plan to pay them back for my law school tuition,

1050
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 2: saying it was important to them that they invest in

1051
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:45,800
Speaker 2: my education.

1052
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:47,160
Speaker 1: I am heartbroken.

1053
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 2: I am very close to my mom and I want

1054
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 2: her desperately as an integral part of my wedding. At

1055
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:55,359
Speaker 2: the same time, I am a self supporting adult. John

1056
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 2: and I know this is what we want, and this

1057
00:46:57,080 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 2: wedding is going forward next autumn regardless of her judgment. Honestly,

1058
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 2: we feel we have put off enough for my mother

1059
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 2: and this is absurd. I just don't know how to

1060
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 2: convince her that this is not going to end in disaster.

1061
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:12,760
Speaker 1: I really want her to be a part of this. Help.

1062
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 6: I'm all for some people have their own way of thinking,

1063
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 6: and you just gotta let them live that way, and

1064
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:19,239
Speaker 6: they're probably gonna die that way.

1065
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 1: Change them. It's like, sad, it's hard.

1066
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,319
Speaker 2: How do I change someone? It's a question in and

1067
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 2: of itself. The change has to come from within someone.

1068
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 2: So it's like if anyone' seen the movie Inception, It's like,

1069
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 2: how do I plant that little seed inside someone's brain

1070
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 2: that makes them want to change? Yeah, and I think

1071
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 2: if you want to get your mom on board here,

1072
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,400
Speaker 2: then it needs to be instead of being about like

1073
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,399
Speaker 2: what you want from her, just tell her like where

1074
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 2: you're actually at with this guy, and that you just

1075
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:52,880
Speaker 2: want her to be there as your mom, not someone who's.

1076
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 1: Like disappointed in you. Agreed. There's an edit.

1077
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 2: Thank you all so much for your thoughts. This is

1078
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:59,440
Speaker 2: definitely a situation that requires time. I will most likely

1079
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 2: talk to my sometime this weekend, since I need to

1080
00:48:01,520 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 2: ask dad about something, and if I call the house,

1081
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:04,840
Speaker 2: we'll probably end up talking.

1082
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,439
Speaker 1: I'll let you guys know about any developments.

1083
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:10,319
Speaker 2: John would also like to give his thanks since we've

1084
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,719
Speaker 2: been reading your responses together and it's helped him see

1085
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 2: the situation rationally as well.

1086
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:17,240
Speaker 1: And we're at the update, folks.

1087
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 2: Let go ahead and dive or right into it update.

1088
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 1: Thank you all for your advice. It was so useful

1089
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 1: to ac.

1090
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 2: I wasn't crazy b understand my mother's possible motivations and

1091
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:32,439
Speaker 2: see have some general consensus to be patient. So Mom

1092
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 2: called a couple times over the past couple weeks to

1093
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 2: ask about work, update me on the family whatever. I

1094
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 2: didn't bring up the wedding. I figured she could bring

1095
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:42,759
Speaker 2: it up when she got curious enough to apologize. Last night,

1096
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 2: I called Mom to ask her about one of her recipes,

1097
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 2: and she, out of nowhere, asked if we'd set a

1098
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:48,919
Speaker 2: date for the wedding yet.

1099
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:50,720
Speaker 1: I told her not exactly.

1100
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 2: But we were planning on early October twenty sixteen. She

1101
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 2: then asked if we wanted it west or east, and

1102
00:48:57,160 --> 00:49:00,320
Speaker 2: I told her east because John's family doesn't have the

1103
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 2: money to go out.

1104
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 1: Weaste. There was a pause that seemed like an eternity

1105
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 1: before she finally said, I'm sorry, I've been so classless.

1106
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:12,319
Speaker 1: Judiciary giraffe, this just really wasn't what I expected for you.

1107
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: I asked her what she was expecting, trying not to

1108
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:16,759
Speaker 1: sound as snarky as I felt, and she went into

1109
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 1: this thing about how she thought I should focus on

1110
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 1: my career and then marry someone with similar goals in

1111
00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 1: a similar background.

1112
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 5: Hmmm.

1113
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,080
Speaker 2: I would like to take this time to congratulate myself

1114
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 2: for not losing my mind at her over the phone.

1115
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 2: At this point, I told her I was focusing on

1116
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,479
Speaker 2: my career. No one has been more supportive than John,

1117
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 2: and I don't have to worry about dating. John and

1118
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaker 2: I have very similar life goals. We both want to

1119
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 2: be working parents, have two kids, but not for another

1120
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 2: five years or so, et cetera, et cetera. And then

1121
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 2: I pointed out that if everyone was as classist as

1122
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 2: she was being, my wealthy father never would have married

1123
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:50,480
Speaker 2: someone from a blue collar family like her, even if

1124
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:52,400
Speaker 2: she ended up in a professional career.

1125
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:59,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, mom's blue collar being like ah, I

1126
00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:01,320
Speaker 1: thought you'd be more like me and marry a man

1127
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 1: for his.

1128
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:05,800
Speaker 2: Money, your own medicine oh my god.

1129
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 3: Wow.

1130
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 2: I was honestly expecting a massive backlash for that comment,

1131
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 2: but she just went quiet. I told her, and I

1132
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:16,200
Speaker 2: remember this verbatim quote. I love you, mom, and I

1133
00:50:16,239 --> 00:50:18,120
Speaker 2: know you love me, so I need you to love

1134
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 2: John too. This may not be what you would have done,

1135
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:22,880
Speaker 2: but I'm not you and I am happy. John is

1136
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,840
Speaker 2: a fantastic man. She burst into tears. He talked for

1137
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 2: about an hour. She apologized to me at my insistence,

1138
00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 2: and should be calling tonight to apologize to John as well.

1139
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:35,520
Speaker 1: He was out last night. She's done the one eighty.

1140
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:38,200
Speaker 2: I feel like it was kind of the same as

1141
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,399
Speaker 2: similar to my advice, but it definitely was like way

1142
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 2: more like I need you to change your behavior.

1143
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,120
Speaker 1: This is my need. Like he was like, Yeah, I

1144
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,560
Speaker 1: love this guy. I love you, I know you love me.

1145
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,600
Speaker 1: I need you to love this guy as well because

1146
00:50:52,600 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 1: he's great. Yeah, and he's about to be your son

1147
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:55,520
Speaker 1: in law.

1148
00:50:55,640 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's coming for Christmas and Canadian Thanksgiving if they

1149
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:00,799
Speaker 6: celebrate that.

1150
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 1: Yes.

1151
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 2: Yes, she apologized to me, and at my insistence, should

1152
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:07,320
Speaker 2: be calling tonight to apologize to John as well. Apparently,

1153
00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 2: part of the reason she was so upset was that

1154
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 2: she thought if she had the no money if you

1155
00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 2: move in together or get engaged rule, we would break up.

1156
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:16,680
Speaker 2: Before I finished law school. I got a little irritated

1157
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,840
Speaker 2: at this. Why would you want me to break up

1158
00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 2: with someone that makes me happy? But if she honestly

1159
00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 2: thought he was a fling and didn't want me marrying

1160
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:27,399
Speaker 2: someone that was going to end up with inevitable divorce, eh,

1161
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 2: not worth the argument. I told her as long as

1162
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 2: she could respect John now, it didn't matter what she did.

1163
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:36,000
Speaker 2: But if she didn't respect our marriage, she would be

1164
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 2: out of the wedding planning and possibly our future life.

1165
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 2: And she agreed with the sentiment. And by the way,

1166
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,839
Speaker 2: you she'd agree with the sentiment that you can listen

1167
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 2: to full episodes with stories just like this on Spotify, iHeartRadio,

1168
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, and wherever you listen to podcasts.

1169
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:55,880
Speaker 1: Just search what Riley Okay story time the name of

1170
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:58,319
Speaker 1: this show. Really, that's all you gotta do.

1171
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:01,759
Speaker 2: And then you will find over two thousand episodes worth

1172
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 2: of stories.

1173
00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:03,880
Speaker 1: Enough to make the Grinch happy.

1174
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 2: Mmm. Man, he's a tough customer. We have a little

1175
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,360
Speaker 2: bit more story left, Ali, do you have any closing

1176
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 2: thoughts here?

1177
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,520
Speaker 1: I'm glad this mom's seeing through the fog.

1178
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm just gonna recycle back to that one

1179
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:16,920
Speaker 2: point I made, which is when you want people to change,

1180
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 2: you can't.

1181
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 1: It kind of has to be a little soft. I

1182
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:19,440
Speaker 1: don't know.

1183
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:22,399
Speaker 2: Look, not every situation is like a blanket one, right,

1184
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 2: But it's like someone who's that stubborn about something so

1185
00:52:25,719 --> 00:52:28,439
Speaker 2: like fundamental, where it's like that guy's not good enough

1186
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:31,520
Speaker 2: for you. All right, Well, I actually love you, and

1187
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,919
Speaker 2: I know you love me, and since I the one

1188
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 2: you love, love that guy, maybe it would be nice

1189
00:52:39,760 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 2: if you cared about that as well. Exactly, let's finish

1190
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:48,279
Speaker 2: this story. I'm wary, super wary, but I'm also going

1191
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 2: to give her the benefit of the doubt for now.

1192
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:51,319
Speaker 2: I want her to be a part of this, but

1193
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:53,960
Speaker 2: I'm also not going to be surprised if her classist

1194
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 2: tendencies are a running issue that won't have to be addressed.

1195
00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 2: So I'm keeping her at an arm's length. John is

1196
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 2: less optic. I suppose I would be too if my

1197
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 2: mother in law basically said I wasn't good enough for

1198
00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:06,759
Speaker 2: her child. But he is happy that I'm happy. I'm

1199
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:09,160
Speaker 2: declining any offer of money from her from now on.

1200
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:10,960
Speaker 1: If I know her, there.

1201
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:13,720
Speaker 2: Will be one because that's her favorite method of control.

1202
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 2: Although both parents have insisted that I not pay them

1203
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:18,279
Speaker 2: back for law school, so.

1204
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 1: I won't be all right.

1205
00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 2: And there's another very very tiny little micro update before

1206
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 2: we finish. She called John tonight. It was kind of awkward,

1207
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 2: but she apologized, so that's what matters. Their relationship will

1208
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 2: warm up over time, I'm sure. Thank you all for

1209
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,200
Speaker 2: your kind words.

1210
00:53:31,640 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 4: Happy ending, and that is the end of that story, folks,

1211
00:53:34,160 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 4: and I feel like, wow, hey, it's Sam. We're gonna

1212
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:41,439
Speaker 4: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads

1213
00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 4: from our sponsors.

1214
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 6: My father chose his mother in law over me. I

1215
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,120
Speaker 6: don't want in my life anymore.

1216
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:51,279
Speaker 1: I mean, would she choose her for kickball or like what?

1217
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:52,239
Speaker 1: Let's find out?

1218
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 6: Hi everyone, I seventeen female. Am only really posting this

1219
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 6: since my dad's family and even my mom are telling

1220
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 6: me that I'm in the row. By the way this

1221
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 6: comes from, I'm just to pick one three and if

1222
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 6: you were to sing your own stories, good to our slashi. Okay,

1223
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 6: storytime subred. So my parents got divorced when I was

1224
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 6: twelve and they had a fifty to fifty custody, so

1225
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 6: I would stay with my dad for a week and

1226
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 6: then my mom. When I was fourteen, my dad got

1227
00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:18,319
Speaker 6: married to my stepmom. I referred to her as his

1228
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 6: wife and I would only see them on the weekends

1229
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,880
Speaker 6: until they moved, and I only saw them whenever they visited.

1230
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,959
Speaker 6: My mom got full custody. Anyways, last month, they moved

1231
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,280
Speaker 6: back to our city and got a two bedroom house.

1232
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:32,120
Speaker 6: My dad promised me the room before he moved back

1233
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,359
Speaker 6: and told me he would do fifty to fifty again

1234
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 6: if me and my mom were okay with it, and

1235
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,680
Speaker 6: we were. I was so excited and I got to

1236
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:43,080
Speaker 6: pick out my furniture and bought stuff to decorate it. Anyways,

1237
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,319
Speaker 6: they moved into the house and invited me. They gave

1238
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:48,840
Speaker 6: me a tour and showed me my room in air quotes.

1239
00:54:49,080 --> 00:54:51,359
Speaker 6: I asked when I could start putting things in it,

1240
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,840
Speaker 6: and that's when they told me that they were actually

1241
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:58,000
Speaker 6: going to give the room to his wife's mom, and

1242
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 6: since I was going away to college soon, it wasn't

1243
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:03,800
Speaker 6: like I was going to do much with the room.

1244
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 6: They also told me that instead of staying the full week,

1245
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:10,120
Speaker 6: that I can go on the weekends and sleep on

1246
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:12,279
Speaker 6: their couch if I wanted to. I said no to

1247
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 6: that and texted my mom to pick me up. It's

1248
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 6: been a month and I goes to my dad fully.

1249
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 6: He even tried to come to talk to me, but

1250
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:20,600
Speaker 6: I was at school. He's been contact with my mom

1251
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 6: to what he hates doing. So I just decided that

1252
00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:26,200
Speaker 6: I didn't want to be in his life anymore or

1253
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 6: have him in mind, even though I barely did. I

1254
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:31,960
Speaker 6: talked to my mom, and for someone who hates my dad,

1255
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:33,879
Speaker 6: she told me that I should just talk to him

1256
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 6: and spend time with him. Since I barely got to

1257
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:39,319
Speaker 6: for two years, I just decided to cut him off.

1258
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:41,920
Speaker 6: It sounds impulsive, I know, but I sent him a

1259
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 6: long message detailing how emotionally neglected and wanted he wanted

1260
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:49,400
Speaker 6: me to fill and to never contact me again. I

1261
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:51,840
Speaker 6: blocked him and blocked his side of the family. This

1262
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 6: is a seventeen year old girl.

1263
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:56,080
Speaker 1: Also, yeah, I was about to say seventeen. Yeah.

1264
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:58,640
Speaker 6: In the morning, my mom woke up at five am

1265
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 6: and asked what I did. Almost my dad's attires side

1266
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:03,880
Speaker 6: of the family have been blowing up her phone asking

1267
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,400
Speaker 6: what she said, Slash, did that make me want me

1268
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 6: to cut off my dad during school. I even got

1269
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 6: a few messages from my cousins on Insta that I

1270
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 6: forgot to block, insulting me. My mom showed me some

1271
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:17,399
Speaker 6: of the messages, and some are insulting both of us.

1272
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 6: My dad send a message apologizing to me and said

1273
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:22,840
Speaker 6: I broke his heart. His wife is sending disgusting messages

1274
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 6: towards my mom. I feel awful because I didn't expect

1275
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,760
Speaker 6: them to attacked not only me but my mom partially

1276
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:30,640
Speaker 6: at that I feel like I messed up, and I

1277
00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:32,799
Speaker 6: want to know if what I did was the right thing.

1278
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 6: We have a small update real quick. Probably talk to

1279
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 6: your school counselor sounds like a good place to start

1280
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 6: for blocking everybody.

1281
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:41,640
Speaker 2: God, it's just such an overwhelming place to be at

1282
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:45,759
Speaker 2: that age. Like if your school has resources, it's hard

1283
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 2: to be like lean on your friends because they're also

1284
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:48,440
Speaker 2: like seventeen.

1285
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's like.

1286
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 2: It's really hard to feel like you can get guidance

1287
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:55,399
Speaker 2: at that age. At least from what I remember, it's

1288
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:57,120
Speaker 2: like it was really hard for me to look at

1289
00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:59,760
Speaker 2: like my parents or like other adults like at that age,

1290
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 2: like real mentors. It was more like people who were

1291
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 2: also like maybe in their twenties, but then also not

1292
00:57:05,520 --> 00:57:09,160
Speaker 2: always the best model. You know, for a mentor, I

1293
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 2: would just try to, like talk to your parents, talk

1294
00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:14,000
Speaker 2: to your dad, right, like, well.

1295
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:14,920
Speaker 1: That's what she doesn't want to do.

1296
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:18,080
Speaker 2: I know, but sometimes the things we don't want to

1297
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:20,439
Speaker 2: do are the very things keeping us from what we want.

1298
00:57:20,480 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 1: So you're saying, do what your mom says to talk

1299
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 1: to your dad.

1300
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,520
Speaker 2: In this context, it's like, you can't just have your

1301
00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:28,800
Speaker 2: dad blocked forever. You need to just have kind of

1302
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 2: what you've expressed to him in the process of blocking him,

1303
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 2: but express it in the context of a conversation. Instead

1304
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,560
Speaker 2: of just being like, hey, here's the last thing I

1305
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 2: ever say to you, it needs to be like no,

1306
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:39,520
Speaker 2: like I need just.

1307
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:43,840
Speaker 6: Discuss yeah, and agreed Lydia the stepmom and adults are

1308
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,440
Speaker 6: handling to this wrong. I don't need to be insulting

1309
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 6: a seventeen year old girl. Gosh, people have emotions at

1310
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 6: that age. Small update, my mom talked to my dad

1311
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 6: and set up a time to talk tomorrow after school.

1312
00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:57,200
Speaker 6: My mom's making me talk to him and recoitile, but

1313
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,200
Speaker 6: I really don't want to. I'm trying to convince her

1314
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:02,200
Speaker 6: not to force me too, but she's threatening to take

1315
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 6: away my phone sized laptop that I need for school

1316
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:05,480
Speaker 6: and other things.

1317
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 1: I'll update you guys tomorrow present.

1318
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 6: Doug forty two says, unblock him temporarily to let him

1319
00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 6: know that his family and wife pestering you and your

1320
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:16,360
Speaker 6: mom is exactly why you want no contact with any

1321
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 6: of them. He continues to take no accountability for his

1322
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 6: actions and blame you and your mom. Instead, tell him

1323
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:24,920
Speaker 6: your mom is against your decision, but his family's attack

1324
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:27,960
Speaker 6: has reassured you that you made the right choice. I

1325
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:31,840
Speaker 6: would even send screenshots of messages, ask him to call

1326
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:34,600
Speaker 6: off his family and nasty wife that for now you

1327
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 6: stand by your decision and that maybe in the future

1328
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 6: you will change your mind, but if it continues, it

1329
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:42,600
Speaker 6: will only drive you further from him. At that point,

1330
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 6: you can either leave him unblocked to get responses or reblocked.

1331
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:48,680
Speaker 6: Sparkye Girl says this is not okay.

1332
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 1: You're not the a hole.

1333
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:51,600
Speaker 6: Your dad took away your room to give to his

1334
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:55,439
Speaker 6: wife's mother and then said you can sleep on the couch. WTF.

1335
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 6: How often does her mom visit? He barely saw you

1336
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:03,160
Speaker 6: or made any effort. Why keep emotionally damaging herself. I'd

1337
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:05,640
Speaker 6: tell his family, Well, he chose his wife over me

1338
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 6: years ago. I guess I shouldn't be surprised he chose

1339
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:11,320
Speaker 6: her mother over me too. I decided I don't deserve

1340
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 6: to be treated as an old sweater, only useful when

1341
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:14,680
Speaker 6: he needs me.

1342
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 1: And Nope says yeah exactly. And also, for my knowledge,

1343
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:20,840
Speaker 1: not too much. Her mom is wild and goes to

1344
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,280
Speaker 1: Vegas a lot, basically lives there, and she's rarely home

1345
00:59:24,360 --> 00:59:27,120
Speaker 1: in her own house now, so it's like she won't

1346
00:59:27,160 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 1: be in the room much either unless she's back in town,

1347
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:33,160
Speaker 1: to which a lot as to why she probably needs

1348
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:35,160
Speaker 1: to pay bills, Thank you so much, And we got

1349
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 1: an update two days later. Hmmm.

1350
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:39,440
Speaker 2: I think I'm all for expressing all the things you're

1351
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:42,000
Speaker 2: feeling about how your dad's treated you. I don't think

1352
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:43,960
Speaker 2: that you need to necessarily look at it as like

1353
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 2: and the end result needs to be reconciliation. Really, just

1354
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,200
Speaker 2: approach it as like, I'm gonna get all this off my.

1355
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:51,680
Speaker 1: Chest, tell you how I feel, and you gotta handle

1356
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:54,160
Speaker 1: this as an adult. Yep, be on my sign, and.

1357
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 2: Then you can't control how he responds. But you can

1358
00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 2: let his response inform how you're going to like future

1359
01:00:02,240 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 2: respond interact with him going forward.

1360
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 6: Are update two. Hi guys, right now, I'm at a

1361
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 6: friend's house and going to stay the night. If you

1362
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 6: saw the small update I did on my last post,

1363
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 6: blah blah blah blah blah, I made sure to try

1364
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:17,720
Speaker 6: and mentally prepare what I wanted to say slash do.

1365
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 6: I really didn't want to talk to him, but since

1366
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:22,920
Speaker 6: I was forced, I decided to take some advice from

1367
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:25,840
Speaker 6: my last post and basically just talk about the few

1368
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:28,720
Speaker 6: times I felt neglected and why I wanted to cut

1369
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,640
Speaker 6: him off, including the intimidation from his family. When I

1370
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:33,439
Speaker 6: got there, I thought it was just going to be him,

1371
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 6: me and my mom, but I was wrong. My mom

1372
01:00:36,320 --> 01:00:38,440
Speaker 6: came inside with me, but my dad told me to

1373
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:41,400
Speaker 6: sit in the dining room and wait. They stayed talking

1374
01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 6: at the door, and I went to the dining room.

1375
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 6: My dad's wife, who i'll just call Becca since it's

1376
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:50,360
Speaker 6: close to her name, and her mom were sitting there.

1377
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,280
Speaker 6: They told me to sit down while we wait for

1378
01:00:52,320 --> 01:00:54,520
Speaker 6: my dad. These women look so angry at me, and

1379
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:57,640
Speaker 6: I felt uncomfortable. I sat and was on my phone

1380
01:00:57,680 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 6: and I could just feel them staring at me. I

1381
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:02,160
Speaker 6: just wanted to get up and leave, but my dad

1382
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,320
Speaker 6: eventually came and sat down and he told me we

1383
01:01:04,360 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 6: needed to talk. But I asked him where my mom was,

1384
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:09,720
Speaker 6: and he said that she left, and I asked why,

1385
01:01:09,800 --> 01:01:12,280
Speaker 6: and he ignored me, and he started talking about how

1386
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:15,400
Speaker 6: sorry he was for what I felt about. Beckis mom

1387
01:01:15,920 --> 01:01:18,800
Speaker 6: wanted the room and we already broke her lease from

1388
01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 6: her apartment and was thinking about quitting her job. Guys,

1389
01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:25,800
Speaker 6: this lady is fifty three and acts like she's my age.

1390
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:29,120
Speaker 6: She's gotten fired from all her jobs or quit because

1391
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:32,400
Speaker 6: they were hard for everyone. Thinking of a small, fro

1392
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:36,240
Speaker 6: old lady, you're wrong. Picture someone who loves Vegas, drinking

1393
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 6: and partying. There you go, fifty three, that's so young,

1394
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:40,600
Speaker 6: putting your.

1395
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:43,400
Speaker 1: Young to be like, I'll never work again for us

1396
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 1: my life.

1397
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:46,040
Speaker 2: I guess I'm gonna just go work at the casino.

1398
01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:48,560
Speaker 2: Why are these people even involved? I don't know, you know,

1399
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,440
Speaker 2: I feel like some of this is like also, as

1400
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:51,960
Speaker 2: a dad, why don't you want your mother in law

1401
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:54,040
Speaker 2: living with you? I mean, I'm future mother in law

1402
01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:55,680
Speaker 2: would be great, but I'm just saying, why would you

1403
01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:56,560
Speaker 2: put yourself up for that.

1404
01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 3: Ah.

1405
01:01:57,040 --> 01:01:58,920
Speaker 2: This is a really tough situation to be in at

1406
01:01:58,920 --> 01:02:00,960
Speaker 2: that age. And it's like the responses like, well, you

1407
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 2: get in there. And though these the stepmom and her

1408
01:02:03,280 --> 01:02:06,200
Speaker 2: daughter are like staring daggers through you, the reaction to

1409
01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 2: that shouldn't be like to be passive and like on

1410
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:09,800
Speaker 2: your phone. The reaction should be all right, let's get

1411
01:02:09,800 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 2: in front of it, be like say, hey, so I

1412
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:13,880
Speaker 2: noticed you guys have a problem with me, clearly because

1413
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:15,160
Speaker 2: I wasn't born yesterday.

1414
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:17,160
Speaker 1: Not everyone's built like you, my dog. I know, I know.

1415
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 1: That's what it's hard to tell someone who's seventeen.

1416
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 2: Like again, I wouldn't do that at seventeen, but it's

1417
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:25,840
Speaker 2: like that situation demands like getting in front of it,

1418
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:28,360
Speaker 2: like taking the reins, but you can't.

1419
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:30,240
Speaker 1: It's so hard to do that at seventeen. You know,

1420
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:31,520
Speaker 1: I was mad.

1421
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:35,240
Speaker 6: They all took turns talking and basically said words that mean,

1422
01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 6: we're sorry if you're upset, but you're dramatic, and you

1423
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:41,400
Speaker 6: being dramatic affects us, so we'll give you a bunch

1424
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:44,360
Speaker 6: of excuses and make you seem like the bad guy.

1425
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:46,800
Speaker 6: I just wanted to leave, so I said something like,

1426
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 6: this isn't just because of the room, it's the promises

1427
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:52,360
Speaker 6: that were broken and how you treat me. I'd give

1428
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 6: them examples of things that he's done to hurt me,

1429
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:57,920
Speaker 6: including intimidation, and when I mentioned it, Becka snorted and

1430
01:02:58,040 --> 01:03:00,560
Speaker 6: rolled her eyes at me and told me, and I'm

1431
01:03:00,560 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 6: being dramatic with the word harassment, and it was towards

1432
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:06,439
Speaker 6: my mom, not me. Me and Becker I got into

1433
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 6: an argument, but it was more like me going okay, sure,

1434
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,400
Speaker 6: but you still did this and you're excusing it and

1435
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:15,000
Speaker 6: raising her voice. I decided to end that and just

1436
01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:17,360
Speaker 6: tell them that I'm not going to reconcile with him.

1437
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:19,280
Speaker 6: If I have to talk to them in the future,

1438
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:22,280
Speaker 6: I will only if necessary, but for now I don't

1439
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:24,720
Speaker 6: want to build a relationship since we haven't had one

1440
01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:27,120
Speaker 6: in years. When I asked when my mom was coming back,

1441
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:29,680
Speaker 6: they told me she wasn't until Monday. This is when

1442
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:32,160
Speaker 6: I got really upset and went outside. I didn't want

1443
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:34,439
Speaker 6: to be inside or around them at all. I called

1444
01:03:34,440 --> 01:03:36,520
Speaker 6: and text my mom for an hour straight. I even

1445
01:03:36,560 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 6: walked to a small plaza nearby so I could just

1446
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:42,000
Speaker 6: be away from them and my mom didn't answer and

1447
01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 6: it was getting late.

1448
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:45,960
Speaker 1: This is so waw dude, like so now thrusting.

1449
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:49,080
Speaker 2: The mom's broken now because she lied and was like, yeah, oh,

1450
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:50,760
Speaker 2: I'll set you up and we'll have a conversation. Then

1451
01:03:50,800 --> 01:03:52,919
Speaker 2: she ditched you and she's like, actually, you're gonna spend

1452
01:03:52,920 --> 01:03:54,920
Speaker 2: a weekend with the people you despise.

1453
01:03:55,960 --> 01:03:58,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was such a huge whiff from the mom

1454
01:03:58,280 --> 01:03:58,600
Speaker 1: right there.

1455
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:00,760
Speaker 6: I didn't want to involve my friends or anything, but

1456
01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:03,560
Speaker 6: it seemed like the only choice. So I asked one

1457
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 6: of my friends if she could come pick me up

1458
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:07,600
Speaker 6: and if I could stay with her. She said yes,

1459
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:10,439
Speaker 6: And now I'm at her house. She's doing homework right now,

1460
01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 6: so I'm just in her living room watching TV waiting

1461
01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:14,960
Speaker 6: for her to be done. Her mom told me I

1462
01:04:14,960 --> 01:04:17,080
Speaker 6: could stay the whole weekend if I'm okay with going

1463
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:19,640
Speaker 6: to church on Sunday and can borrow my friend's clothes.

1464
01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:23,120
Speaker 6: Classic move and another classic move is for you to

1465
01:04:23,280 --> 01:04:25,880
Speaker 6: go to your favorite podcast platform right now.

1466
01:04:25,920 --> 01:04:27,440
Speaker 1: Where could that be to Goda, It could.

1467
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:31,000
Speaker 2: Be Spotify or iHeartRadio or Apple Podcasts and search up

1468
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:35,480
Speaker 2: these magic words okay, story time and boom, you will

1469
01:04:35,520 --> 01:04:39,280
Speaker 2: be welcomed with so many stories. Your heart has to

1470
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 2: be consent, and.

1471
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:41,880
Speaker 1: Your heart's getting go no no, no no.

1472
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:44,080
Speaker 6: And if it's non consent, we'll have more for you

1473
01:04:44,120 --> 01:04:44,600
Speaker 6: coming soon.

1474
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:50,240
Speaker 1: Eating up all that story juice and yeah, dude, clutch friend, Yeah,

1475
01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:50,840
Speaker 1: good friend.

1476
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:53,080
Speaker 2: It's like that was what I was going to say

1477
01:04:53,080 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 2: when we were talking about like earlier, like all right,

1478
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:56,960
Speaker 2: who do you lean on, like your guidance counselor Like

1479
01:04:57,240 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, if it was me, i'd be like friends,

1480
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:00,520
Speaker 2: my friends.

1481
01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:04,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I must lean on my friends. But I don't know. Man,

1482
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:05,120
Speaker 1: that's crazy to think.

1483
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 2: I did see a comment where it's like, as soon

1484
01:05:06,880 --> 01:05:09,400
Speaker 2: as this conversation wasn't just to you and your dad,

1485
01:05:09,680 --> 01:05:11,400
Speaker 2: I would have been like, wait, hold on, this is

1486
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 2: not what I signed up for. I'm just talking to you.

1487
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:16,640
Speaker 2: I don't have anything to say to these people. They're

1488
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:19,160
Speaker 2: irrelevant to me. They're your family. I don't want anything

1489
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:19,680
Speaker 2: to do with them.

1490
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:22,400
Speaker 6: This is me and you man. Yeah, uh, both parents

1491
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:26,080
Speaker 6: are going to lose her. Yeah, true, wrap it up.

1492
01:05:26,120 --> 01:05:28,000
Speaker 6: I texted my mom and let her know I'm staying

1493
01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:30,280
Speaker 6: with a friend, and I still haven't heard back from her.

1494
01:05:30,440 --> 01:05:32,840
Speaker 6: I think she turned her phone off. Honestly, I want

1495
01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:35,240
Speaker 6: to cry out of anger. I'm so confused as to

1496
01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 6: what happened. I'm mad, very mad, but also very numb.

1497
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:40,920
Speaker 6: I don't know what this means. I left my mom

1498
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:44,480
Speaker 6: voicemails crying asking why she left. It wasn't picking up

1499
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:47,320
Speaker 6: inventing to her. I guess maybe I feel numb because

1500
01:05:47,320 --> 01:05:49,520
Speaker 6: of that. Who knows. I'll try to give you guys

1501
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:52,200
Speaker 6: an update, but who knows when that will be. Yeah,

1502
01:05:52,720 --> 01:05:56,160
Speaker 6: and that's the end of that one.

1503
01:05:56,200 --> 01:06:00,560
Speaker 2: My mother spoiled the surprise of my engagement and won't

1504
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:02,120
Speaker 2: apologize for it.

1505
01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 1: And they're about to be surprised with her funeral. What okay?

1506
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:07,919
Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for telling my mom?

1507
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,280
Speaker 2: I'm used to it after my parents ruined the surprise

1508
01:06:10,360 --> 01:06:13,360
Speaker 2: of my engagement and the wedding dress. I twenty seven female,

1509
01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:15,680
Speaker 2: am getting married in September twenty twenty five. I'm in

1510
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 2: a long distance relationship. My partner lives in England and

1511
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:21,520
Speaker 2: I'm in the US. We're lucky enough that I work

1512
01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:23,840
Speaker 2: remote and visit about three times a year for six

1513
01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 2: weeks at a time, and he visits me in the

1514
01:06:25,920 --> 01:06:29,320
Speaker 2: US about four times a year, once a week, which

1515
01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:32,480
Speaker 2: if we're doing some quick math. Well that's twenty two

1516
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:34,280
Speaker 2: weeks out of the year. That's almost half the year

1517
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:36,840
Speaker 2: they're spending together. By the way, this comes from user

1518
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:39,520
Speaker 2: glitter Glaze Glue and if you want to submit your

1519
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:42,000
Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime suburnit.

1520
01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 2: So when he was planning to propose, he had asked

1521
01:06:45,120 --> 01:06:47,560
Speaker 2: for my parents blessing in March twenty twenty four.

1522
01:06:47,680 --> 01:06:48,520
Speaker 1: My parents had.

1523
01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:51,760
Speaker 2: Quote assumed that I would know when he was proposing,

1524
01:06:51,800 --> 01:06:54,080
Speaker 2: and my dad had told me in a conversation that

1525
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:58,200
Speaker 2: the following week he was proposing in December twenty twenty four.

1526
01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:01,200
Speaker 1: As you can imagine, I was upset.

1527
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:04,880
Speaker 2: My mother invalidated my feelings and said I was making

1528
01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:07,320
Speaker 2: it a big deal and being for not assuming it

1529
01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:09,800
Speaker 2: was going to be during Christmas, because that's when both

1530
01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:12,160
Speaker 2: of our families were together. My argument is that while

1531
01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:13,960
Speaker 2: I could have had a hunch, I didn't want to

1532
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:16,680
Speaker 2: be told when it was, and basically could have gone

1533
01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:20,040
Speaker 2: practically a whole year wondering excitedly when it would be.

1534
01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:22,560
Speaker 2: For all I knew, he could have proposed before that,

1535
01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:26,280
Speaker 2: and Christmas we would have had an engagement party. Anyways, basically,

1536
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:29,480
Speaker 2: my dad apologized, but my mom has stood firm on

1537
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:32,880
Speaker 2: saying I'm dramatic for being upset. Since then, more things

1538
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:35,360
Speaker 2: have gone wrong and has started to leave me just

1539
01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:38,160
Speaker 2: so sad about wedding planning. None of this has been

1540
01:07:38,200 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 2: a good experience, and I've started to feel like it's

1541
01:07:40,920 --> 01:07:44,480
Speaker 2: a chore. Flash forward to today. My partner is visiting

1542
01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:47,440
Speaker 2: just for one week, and while we're all sitting on

1543
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:50,040
Speaker 2: the couch in the living room, my mom randomly turns

1544
01:07:50,040 --> 01:07:52,000
Speaker 2: to me and goes, have you picked up your veil

1545
01:07:52,040 --> 01:07:54,760
Speaker 2: from the bridal store yet, right in front of him.

1546
01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:57,960
Speaker 2: Why why, mother, why can't you let her have a

1547
01:07:58,040 --> 01:08:00,919
Speaker 2: nice thing. My partner smiles and goes, oh, you're wearing

1548
01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:04,360
Speaker 2: a veil, and I just got super frustrated. There are

1549
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:07,800
Speaker 2: only two surprises in a wedding, the engagement and the dress,

1550
01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:10,320
Speaker 2: and both of them have been handled so carelessly.

1551
01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:11,480
Speaker 1: So I turned to my.

1552
01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:14,480
Speaker 2: Mom and said, he please not mention anything about the dress,

1553
01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:17,880
Speaker 2: not the shoes, not nothing. I don't want him knowing anything.

1554
01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:21,240
Speaker 2: She rolls her eyes, walks around, and about ten minutes

1555
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:23,960
Speaker 2: later gives a half hearted apology, just saying sorry, ope,

1556
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,080
Speaker 2: and I replied, it's fine, I'm used to it at

1557
01:08:26,120 --> 01:08:28,360
Speaker 2: this point. And now she's gone back and locked herself

1558
01:08:28,360 --> 01:08:30,120
Speaker 2: in the room, So I guess I'm not the a

1559
01:08:30,200 --> 01:08:31,160
Speaker 2: hole for being upset.

1560
01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:33,840
Speaker 6: Nah, she's a human, she's an adult that should be

1561
01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:37,519
Speaker 6: able to regulate her emotions, you know, averagely or like

1562
01:08:37,560 --> 01:08:39,000
Speaker 6: an average adult.

1563
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:40,960
Speaker 1: So yeah, don't you big facts.

1564
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:44,960
Speaker 2: I don't want to reach I feel like your mom ooh,

1565
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:52,200
Speaker 2: because it's such an illogical route to travel after like

1566
01:08:52,360 --> 01:08:54,800
Speaker 2: just making a mistake and then you go, oh my god,

1567
01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:55,479
Speaker 2: that's terrible.

1568
01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:56,400
Speaker 1: I made a mistake.

1569
01:08:56,479 --> 01:08:59,639
Speaker 2: One thing about They literally almost it would make them

1570
01:08:59,640 --> 01:09:02,680
Speaker 2: physical ill to admit something like that, so they just

1571
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:05,160
Speaker 2: can't do it. And that's what this feels like. And

1572
01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:07,479
Speaker 2: then you're like, oh, I'm used to it. Another perceived imperfection.

1573
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:10,640
Speaker 2: Now it's gonna go take that real personally until you

1574
01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:12,559
Speaker 2: say I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. It's not real

1575
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:16,920
Speaker 2: nice anyway. Boom, there's an edit here. I know a

1576
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:19,040
Speaker 2: lot of people are asking if this is like her.

1577
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:19,719
Speaker 1: It isn't.

1578
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:22,639
Speaker 2: She has already had one of her four daughters get married.

1579
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:23,280
Speaker 1: I'm the second.

1580
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:25,920
Speaker 2: She never ruined the engagement or the dress, and she

1581
01:09:26,000 --> 01:09:28,439
Speaker 2: seemed to care a whole lot more about her than

1582
01:09:28,479 --> 01:09:31,600
Speaker 2: she has me during this time. Nowadays, a lot of

1583
01:09:31,640 --> 01:09:35,240
Speaker 2: brides up to wear veils and tiaras and hats, embellishments,

1584
01:09:35,320 --> 01:09:36,040
Speaker 2: or nothing at all.

1585
01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:38,680
Speaker 1: I forgot to mention that my fiance had told me

1586
01:09:38,760 --> 01:09:39,320
Speaker 1: he didn't.

1587
01:09:39,120 --> 01:09:41,040
Speaker 2: Want to know if I was wearing a veil or anything,

1588
01:09:41,120 --> 01:09:43,680
Speaker 2: and wanted it to be a surprise. Since he's very

1589
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:46,719
Speaker 2: mild tempered and sweet. He was surprised, but was trying

1590
01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:49,200
Speaker 2: to be nice in his reaction because he knew I'd

1591
01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:52,559
Speaker 2: be upset. There are some comments substantial Air says not

1592
01:09:52,640 --> 01:09:55,000
Speaker 2: the Ahle, but your parents are on an information diet.

1593
01:09:55,160 --> 01:09:57,880
Speaker 2: Also know in the future they're always going to do this.

1594
01:09:58,080 --> 01:10:00,920
Speaker 2: Maybe be prepared for some odd ball wedding toast for them.

1595
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:03,600
Speaker 2: Structure Key twenty seven thirty nine. I'm used to it

1596
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:06,320
Speaker 2: at this point is a brilliant, well deserved answer. Now

1597
01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:09,320
Speaker 2: she's sulking in her room, Leave her there Mdr nineteen

1598
01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:09,920
Speaker 2: seventy three.

1599
01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:10,280
Speaker 1: Yep.

1600
01:10:10,439 --> 01:10:12,080
Speaker 2: Let her stay in there as long as she wants to.

1601
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:14,400
Speaker 2: Don't give her the attention she's looking for. Your mother

1602
01:10:14,479 --> 01:10:18,479
Speaker 2: sounds toxic. Stop telling her things and we have an update.

1603
01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:21,120
Speaker 2: Uh oh, I think the wedding happened.

1604
01:10:21,520 --> 01:10:24,200
Speaker 6: Oh right, she's probably gonna find something else to do

1605
01:10:24,560 --> 01:10:25,840
Speaker 6: and reveal it to the groom.

1606
01:10:25,960 --> 01:10:30,120
Speaker 1: My money's on more mom centered shenanigans. My money's on

1607
01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:34,040
Speaker 1: I don't know, probably that too, mom centric shenaniganry.

1608
01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:36,040
Speaker 6: Yep, all right, yay, Or the mother in law gets

1609
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:37,719
Speaker 6: in on it, and it's just like a double whammy.

1610
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:40,080
Speaker 6: I usually just have one mother that's crazy, not too What.

1611
01:10:40,040 --> 01:10:41,760
Speaker 2: If the mother in law and the mother have an

1612
01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:45,920
Speaker 2: exhibitionist boxing match they put it on pay per view?

1613
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:47,040
Speaker 1: All right, let's get the update.

1614
01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:49,599
Speaker 2: So for context, a lot of things have gone wrong

1615
01:10:49,800 --> 01:10:53,000
Speaker 2: since we've been in talks of getting engaged. Obviously, my

1616
01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:55,720
Speaker 2: dad had told me about the engagement, but then other

1617
01:10:55,760 --> 01:10:58,760
Speaker 2: things went wrong, like my partner's sister causing drama the

1618
01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:01,720
Speaker 2: day before our engagement, the day of our engagement going

1619
01:11:01,760 --> 01:11:04,000
Speaker 2: horribly wrong, to the point my partner told me he'd

1620
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:07,160
Speaker 2: propose again. Finding out last month that my partner's dad

1621
01:11:07,160 --> 01:11:09,720
Speaker 2: got remarried a year ago, secretly we didn't even know

1622
01:11:09,800 --> 01:11:12,160
Speaker 2: he was dating anyone, and him asking for a plus

1623
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:14,800
Speaker 2: one for the wife no one had even heard of,

1624
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:18,439
Speaker 2: while also telling my partner he's ridiculous for being upset

1625
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:21,200
Speaker 2: because it isn't a big deal, and my best friend

1626
01:11:21,240 --> 01:11:23,840
Speaker 2: bailing on my bachelorette for someone else's. It's safe to

1627
01:11:23,880 --> 01:11:27,439
Speaker 2: say that since December it's been stressful, and those are

1628
01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:30,960
Speaker 2: only the bigger issues that I mentioned. I know everyone

1629
01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:33,200
Speaker 2: was saying Mom should be on an info diet, but

1630
01:11:33,240 --> 01:11:36,200
Speaker 2: she already was on one by her own choice. She

1631
01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:39,519
Speaker 2: hasn't asked or been part of anything by her own design,

1632
01:11:39,680 --> 01:11:42,000
Speaker 2: and it's felt like she couldn't care less about the wedding.

1633
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:44,320
Speaker 2: The only time she cared was when she found out

1634
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:47,160
Speaker 2: we were only inviting forty people, and people she wanted

1635
01:11:47,160 --> 01:11:49,880
Speaker 2: there weren't invited, like her friends who I barely see

1636
01:11:49,880 --> 01:11:52,040
Speaker 2: her know, and her brother and cousin who I both

1637
01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:55,520
Speaker 2: haven't seen since I was eleven. That's when she insisted

1638
01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:57,800
Speaker 2: on paying for them so they could come. And that's

1639
01:11:57,840 --> 01:12:00,519
Speaker 2: the only time she's asked about anything having to do

1640
01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:02,760
Speaker 2: with the wedding, or, to be honest, anything involving me.

1641
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:04,600
Speaker 2: She hasn't checked in to see if me and my

1642
01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:07,000
Speaker 2: partner are okay given all the other stuff that has

1643
01:12:07,040 --> 01:12:10,160
Speaker 2: happened either. So I ended up speaking with my mom

1644
01:12:10,240 --> 01:12:12,400
Speaker 2: a little while after what happened, and I told her

1645
01:12:12,439 --> 01:12:15,280
Speaker 2: that while I know I shouldn't have said, I'm used

1646
01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:18,840
Speaker 2: to it, that ultimately I'm upset because it seems nothing

1647
01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:21,960
Speaker 2: has gone right. She seemed apologetic at first and said

1648
01:12:22,000 --> 01:12:24,320
Speaker 2: she didn't know why she said that and knew that

1649
01:12:24,400 --> 01:12:27,479
Speaker 2: she shouldn't have. I nodded and said, just please don't

1650
01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:31,479
Speaker 2: say anything else regarding what you know about the dress.

1651
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:33,760
Speaker 2: She was there when I got the dress and veil

1652
01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:35,920
Speaker 2: with my sisters. I then told her that I'm just

1653
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:38,280
Speaker 2: tired of things going wrong and that my partner and

1654
01:12:38,280 --> 01:12:42,280
Speaker 2: I have felt super unsupported and alone. She responded back,

1655
01:12:42,479 --> 01:12:45,080
Speaker 2: starting her sentence with, oh, pe, only a handful of

1656
01:12:45,080 --> 01:12:47,040
Speaker 2: things have happened. I feel like you're looking for things

1657
01:12:47,080 --> 01:12:48,680
Speaker 2: to be upset about. At this point, she.

1658
01:12:48,720 --> 01:12:52,799
Speaker 6: Listed five things that are weekly things we talk about

1659
01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:56,759
Speaker 6: that are mainly people's issues, and she just briefly mentioned

1660
01:12:56,760 --> 01:12:59,120
Speaker 6: them while she needs to write them out and share

1661
01:12:59,120 --> 01:12:59,639
Speaker 6: it with us.

1662
01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:02,800
Speaker 2: You're right there at the goal line, mom, You're at

1663
01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:03,479
Speaker 2: the goal line.

1664
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:07,519
Speaker 1: Was to goes, Oh, all right, I'll do my best.

1665
01:13:07,560 --> 01:13:09,519
Speaker 1: I love you. Yeah. She was about to feel supported

1666
01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:12,679
Speaker 1: since she's like, actually, I think you're being a pain.

1667
01:13:13,560 --> 01:13:16,360
Speaker 2: I think you're looking for trouble, okay, and we all

1668
01:13:16,360 --> 01:13:19,280
Speaker 2: know apps when you look for trouble, you give it you.

1669
01:13:19,280 --> 01:13:21,439
Speaker 1: Find it, isn't that right? Yup? Okay?

1670
01:13:21,520 --> 01:13:24,439
Speaker 2: To be honest, when she said that I kind of

1671
01:13:24,560 --> 01:13:27,360
Speaker 2: lost it, I basically said that I didn't go looking

1672
01:13:27,360 --> 01:13:29,280
Speaker 2: for any of this, and all of these things that

1673
01:13:29,320 --> 01:13:31,519
Speaker 2: have happened to my fiance and I were out of

1674
01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:34,240
Speaker 2: our control, like you're the one who brought up the veil,

1675
01:13:34,360 --> 01:13:37,280
Speaker 2: not me. I didn't go looking for any of these issues.

1676
01:13:37,400 --> 01:13:40,240
Speaker 2: I told her that if there was one problem, then fine,

1677
01:13:40,320 --> 01:13:42,320
Speaker 2: I'd have handled it and moved on, but that the

1678
01:13:42,439 --> 01:13:45,840
Speaker 2: repeated offenses coming from every angle have hurt me and

1679
01:13:46,040 --> 01:13:48,360
Speaker 2: my partner. I've been trying to get over what's occurred,

1680
01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:50,840
Speaker 2: but something else happens to make the wedding planning even

1681
01:13:51,080 --> 01:13:53,360
Speaker 2: harder for us. I told her that my fiance and

1682
01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:56,400
Speaker 2: I both have felt super alone during a time supposed

1683
01:13:56,400 --> 01:13:59,920
Speaker 2: to be joyful, and that her carelessness and thoughtlessness has

1684
01:14:00,120 --> 01:14:04,880
Speaker 2: been super hurtful, especially when she's continually invalidated my feelings.

1685
01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:07,720
Speaker 2: She shrugged and says she's done nothing and she's not

1686
01:14:07,840 --> 01:14:10,639
Speaker 2: going to talk to me or ask about me about

1687
01:14:10,640 --> 01:14:13,080
Speaker 2: the other problems going on because I've been upset and

1688
01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:14,960
Speaker 2: she doesn't want to deal with it. It is a crazy

1689
01:14:14,960 --> 01:14:16,760
Speaker 2: thing to just say to somebody be like, no, I

1690
01:14:16,840 --> 01:14:18,479
Speaker 2: just don't care that you're upset.

1691
01:14:18,479 --> 01:14:20,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear about your problems. You're upset,

1692
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:22,400
Speaker 1: I'm not going to talk to you. You just bother me.

1693
01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:24,720
Speaker 6: I'm thinking of a one person that if I said

1694
01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:26,280
Speaker 6: that to, I'll get my head cut off.

1695
01:14:26,320 --> 01:14:27,960
Speaker 2: Well, if you said that to like anybody, that's I

1696
01:14:27,960 --> 01:14:30,479
Speaker 2: feel like grounds to like, Well, first of all, thanks

1697
01:14:30,479 --> 01:14:33,479
Speaker 2: for letting me know you don't care about me at all.

1698
01:14:33,880 --> 01:14:37,559
Speaker 2: I guess I won't be calling you like I don't know.

1699
01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:39,880
Speaker 2: It's just a weird, crazy thing for a parent to

1700
01:14:39,880 --> 01:14:41,880
Speaker 2: say their own child about their wedding.

1701
01:14:42,360 --> 01:14:44,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, dude, don't talk to me. It's just

1702
01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:45,639
Speaker 1: such a downer all the time.

1703
01:14:45,720 --> 01:14:47,880
Speaker 2: I need to see them react to each other in

1704
01:14:47,920 --> 01:14:51,080
Speaker 2: public so I can get a better understanding of this dynamic. Cow.

1705
01:14:51,360 --> 01:14:53,680
Speaker 2: After a lot of your comments, I realized that I

1706
01:14:53,760 --> 01:14:57,040
Speaker 2: definitely was attempting to include someone who has not only

1707
01:14:57,080 --> 01:15:00,400
Speaker 2: shown they should not be but that they don't want

1708
01:15:00,439 --> 01:15:03,639
Speaker 2: to be involved in my wedding. My partner leaves back

1709
01:15:03,680 --> 01:15:05,959
Speaker 2: to the UK today, but at this point I'm considering

1710
01:15:06,040 --> 01:15:09,000
Speaker 2: eloping with him if I can when I'm visiting him

1711
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:14,160
Speaker 2: in England in May. We've already paid half of what

1712
01:15:14,200 --> 01:15:17,120
Speaker 2: we owe to our venue and photographer, so canceling isn't

1713
01:15:17,160 --> 01:15:19,679
Speaker 2: really an option, but maybe we'll just have the reception

1714
01:15:19,800 --> 01:15:22,240
Speaker 2: instead of the ceremony. Thank you to the commenters who

1715
01:15:22,280 --> 01:15:24,479
Speaker 2: pointed out that if we ever have children, to keep

1716
01:15:24,520 --> 01:15:27,679
Speaker 2: the important moments to ourselves, so the gender or birthday

1717
01:15:27,840 --> 01:15:30,040
Speaker 2: or names, all that stuff. I think you're right, and

1718
01:15:30,080 --> 01:15:32,040
Speaker 2: that my mom has pretty much ensured she will be

1719
01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:34,639
Speaker 2: on a permanent info diet for as long as she's

1720
01:15:34,720 --> 01:15:37,000
Speaker 2: in my life, because if not, she'll more than likely

1721
01:15:37,080 --> 01:15:40,800
Speaker 2: spoil it and then invalidate my feelings. I think ultimately

1722
01:15:40,920 --> 01:15:42,880
Speaker 2: it wasn't about the veil for me. I know my

1723
01:15:42,960 --> 01:15:45,840
Speaker 2: partner will still be surprised. I'm just sad because he

1724
01:15:45,880 --> 01:15:48,920
Speaker 2: told me he didn't want an idea of anything and

1725
01:15:48,960 --> 01:15:51,599
Speaker 2: wanted to be completely clueless about what I'd be wearing.

1726
01:15:51,640 --> 01:15:54,960
Speaker 2: But ultimately this was about the continued thoughtlessness and invalidation

1727
01:15:55,280 --> 01:15:58,400
Speaker 2: that's pretty much been the theme of the last four months.

1728
01:15:58,560 --> 01:16:00,920
Speaker 2: If my mom had said when she was sorry, and

1729
01:16:01,040 --> 01:16:03,760
Speaker 2: left it. It would have been fine, but acting like

1730
01:16:03,920 --> 01:16:06,960
Speaker 2: I went looking to be upset when she randomly ruins

1731
01:16:07,040 --> 01:16:09,760
Speaker 2: yet another detail is just wild to me.

1732
01:16:10,000 --> 01:16:10,559
Speaker 1: Quick edit.

1733
01:16:10,680 --> 01:16:13,919
Speaker 2: I also forgot to say yes, I am moving to England.

1734
01:16:14,320 --> 01:16:16,519
Speaker 2: We are hoping to make that jump at the beginning

1735
01:16:16,560 --> 01:16:17,439
Speaker 2: of twenty twenty six.

1736
01:16:17,640 --> 01:16:20,160
Speaker 1: Oh wow, people are talking about twenty twenty six now, Hugh.

1737
01:16:20,880 --> 01:16:23,479
Speaker 2: I know a lot of people are saying, completely cancel

1738
01:16:23,520 --> 01:16:26,240
Speaker 2: the venue, but we already have friends and family from

1739
01:16:26,240 --> 01:16:29,360
Speaker 2: my fiance side who have bought their tickets to come.

1740
01:16:29,560 --> 01:16:31,639
Speaker 1: At least ten have already confirmed their flights.

1741
01:16:31,880 --> 01:16:33,880
Speaker 2: I don't think I have the heart in me to

1742
01:16:34,000 --> 01:16:36,680
Speaker 2: cost people that kind of money when they're already invested

1743
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:37,160
Speaker 2: into this.

1744
01:16:37,360 --> 01:16:37,760
Speaker 1: And by the.

1745
01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:42,040
Speaker 2: Way, you can get invested into full episodes of stories

1746
01:16:42,160 --> 01:16:46,920
Speaker 2: just like this on Spotify, on iHeartRadio, on Apple podcasts

1747
01:16:47,080 --> 01:16:48,320
Speaker 2: and what do they need to look.

1748
01:16:48,240 --> 01:16:54,120
Speaker 1: Up ok Time? Thanks Rley, Just.

1749
01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:57,559
Speaker 2: To look up Okay Storytime on your platform of choice

1750
01:16:57,640 --> 01:17:02,160
Speaker 2: and that'll lead you to the resortrove over two thousand

1751
01:17:02,240 --> 01:17:05,519
Speaker 2: episodes for you to listen to. Wow, we have a

1752
01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:09,400
Speaker 2: little bit story left, fishure man, you got anything to dude,

1753
01:17:09,520 --> 01:17:10,040
Speaker 2: get anything to.

1754
01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:11,760
Speaker 1: Add I kind of forgot what story on. Now we're

1755
01:17:11,800 --> 01:17:13,120
Speaker 1: back at.

1756
01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:15,559
Speaker 2: The wedding, the mom's complete lack of support for the

1757
01:17:15,600 --> 01:17:18,160
Speaker 2: wedding and being like all of your wedding's problems are

1758
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:18,840
Speaker 2: you just.

1759
01:17:18,800 --> 01:17:22,920
Speaker 1: Move to London or wherever and just do your own thing?

1760
01:17:23,040 --> 01:17:25,080
Speaker 2: You know, you kind of gotta own that no matter what.

1761
01:17:25,439 --> 01:17:27,680
Speaker 2: You know, even if your family's super sick. If you

1762
01:17:27,680 --> 01:17:29,040
Speaker 2: feel like you've got to do a thing and it's

1763
01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:30,680
Speaker 2: your thing and you gotta do your own thing, you

1764
01:17:30,680 --> 01:17:33,439
Speaker 2: gotta do your own thing. Man back third edit. I'm

1765
01:17:33,479 --> 01:17:35,960
Speaker 2: not sure if my mom cares that I'm moving. I'm

1766
01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:37,840
Speaker 2: in England for six to eight weeks at a time

1767
01:17:37,920 --> 01:17:39,880
Speaker 2: every few months, so she's already used to me leaving

1768
01:17:39,920 --> 01:17:40,960
Speaker 2: for a significant.

1769
01:17:40,560 --> 01:17:41,120
Speaker 1: Amount of time.

1770
01:17:41,200 --> 01:17:43,760
Speaker 2: She doesn't seem sad I'm leaving, and if anything has

1771
01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:46,240
Speaker 2: said she understands why I'm moving, she is sad or

1772
01:17:46,280 --> 01:17:48,559
Speaker 2: that's the real reason behind all this, I'd actually be

1773
01:17:48,680 --> 01:17:51,040
Speaker 2: super surprised. I won't rule it out, but my mom

1774
01:17:51,120 --> 01:17:53,160
Speaker 2: isn't the type to care about that sort of thing

1775
01:17:53,520 --> 01:17:55,360
Speaker 1: And I think that's the end of the story.