1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,640 Speaker 1: I confided in my fiance about my dark past. Now 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: he's ghosting me. 3 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:05,600 Speaker 2: So edit. 4 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:08,160 Speaker 1: While there are a lot of serious misconceptions being sent 5 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: to me via DM about my life, let me make 6 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,120 Speaker 1: this clear. I did not grow up in an abusive household. 7 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: I had a loving family who, by my own actions, 8 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: broke their hearts. I'm blessed beyond words, and they've accepted 9 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 1: me back, and I have been nothing but loving and supportive. 10 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,079 Speaker 1: Both my parents are my heroes. My mom was just 11 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 1: trying to protect me. She wasn't trying to be my accomplice. Secondly, 12 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 1: to answer this here, if I wanted to stay with him, 13 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: I had to let him ask me those questions. He 14 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 1: gave me every opportunity to shut it down, and even 15 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 1: several times while we were talking he asked if I 16 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 1: wanted to stop. He was hurting, by his own words, 17 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,640 Speaker 1: from his own insecurities. Answering the questions, even as uncomfortable 18 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: as they are, bonded us, in my opinion, because he 19 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: actually engaged in conversation with me and listened to everything 20 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: I said. Besides, some of my answers are not nearly 21 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: as dramatic as some of you have believed, and we 22 00:00:54,800 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: have another update, A big one, thick one. So my 23 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,640 Speaker 1: twenty nine female fiance twenty nine male has ghosted me 24 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,320 Speaker 1: since he found out about my past. So first off, 25 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 1: things have been great between us. I mean, there have 26 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,960 Speaker 1: been issues, but nothing that I didn't expect nor anything 27 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 1: that I can't handle. I still am happy that he 28 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 1: is in my life. When last I left off, he 29 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 1: had asked me to tell my parents because he was 30 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 1: afraid that they would think he was being overly critical 31 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: of previous substance habit. But he also told me he 32 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: wouldn't make that a deal breaker. He just thought it 33 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 1: would be a good idea to basically tell the parents 34 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: about the spicy sleepwork and stuff. Well, after thinking about 35 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: it more, I just felt like I did not want 36 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: to have to tell my parents that part of my life. 37 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: I believe all of my heart that they would have 38 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: supported me, but I just did not want to go 39 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: through all the emotions of telling them. I explained it 40 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: to him and he was fine with it, said that 41 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: he respected my thoughts and would never say a word 42 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: to them. I decided on my own to tell them 43 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 1: that we were postponing the wedding. I told them after 44 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: we had talked that he wanted to stay together and 45 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 1: they just wanted more time to think about things. 46 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 2: I thought that this was. 47 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: The best way to explain it, as I didn't want 48 00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: him to be there to have to explain anything, because 49 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,799 Speaker 1: if something would have come up, I did not want 50 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,240 Speaker 1: him to feel trapped in a lie or whatever. I 51 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 1: told them, and they were disappointed, obviously, but they understood. 52 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,119 Speaker 1: He had given me money to give them to pay 53 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,240 Speaker 1: back their deposits, but they said that they did not 54 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,360 Speaker 1: want it and for us to keep the money. I 55 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: thought that was the end of it. Was I ever wrong? 56 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 3: Oh? 57 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:32,840 Speaker 4: H r row. 58 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 1: He came over for Thanksgiving dinner. He had lunch with 59 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 1: his family. I was invited but could not attend due 60 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: to not getting off late from work and then having 61 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 1: to help my mom make dinner here. Well, he got 62 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 1: to my parents run four or so and we ate 63 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,080 Speaker 1: dinner at five thirty. My parents both said their grandparents 64 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: and several cousins were there, and dinner run fine, and 65 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 1: we ate and everybody was having a good time until 66 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: my cousin, who is several years younger than me twelve, 67 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: asked when we were get getting married. There's a long 68 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:05,240 Speaker 1: it seemed like forever awkward silence. Leave it to a 69 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: kid to just totally everything up. 70 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 3: Classic. 71 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 2: These kids like they'll just say crap. 72 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 3: These kids, they're ruinous. 73 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 2: Question why are you so ugly? Like batter from last year. 74 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:20,119 Speaker 3: Dude. 75 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,679 Speaker 1: Kids will say the darnedest things. He just sat there 76 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: looking at me for guidance. He spoke up and said 77 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 1: probably next summer, to which my mother's mother heard this 78 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,359 Speaker 1: and obviously nobody had told them that the date was off, 79 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: while she proceeded ask if she had the dates wrong 80 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: in her calendar, to which my mom quickly jumped in 81 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,119 Speaker 1: to say that they were. There were scheduling conflicts. Well 82 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 1: that should have been it. But instead of accepting that, 83 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: my grandmother starts to ask what scheduling conflict? If it 84 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: was the church or minister. She was going to get 85 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: the straight aut She's going to problem with solid mode. 86 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 2: Oh, I see some ICUs in the chat. 87 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 3: Oh, people are dropping. We didn't even say it. They 88 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 3: used to start a dropping. John sees right now. 89 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: This went on for a good half hour, and I 90 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: could tell by the look on his face he was 91 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,600 Speaker 1: sick of it. He never said a word, but he 92 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: looked almost very upset. Finally, My family starts to leave 93 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: around eight thirty or so, and after everyone says they're goodbyes, 94 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: he and I go back to the living room and 95 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: sit on the couch. I apologize profusely to him, and 96 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: he says he's fine, but I can tell he's not 97 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 1: really fine, but he's starting to be less tense. My 98 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: parents come back in from the front porch after telling 99 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 1: their parents goodbye, and they sit down and my dad 100 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,160 Speaker 1: apologize to both of us, saying that our family means 101 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:44,120 Speaker 1: well but sometimes can be overbearing. Winchester by Queen says, 102 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: the best intentions, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they really 103 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 1: were trying to just be helpful. 104 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 3: Yes, but I don't know, I feel like as a 105 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 3: human you kind. 106 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 2: Of like engage. 107 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, there's I'm sorry, But like I feel like for 108 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 5: most people, like if we were in a similar scenario, we. 109 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 2: Would have backed off. 110 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,239 Speaker 1: I feel like, ah, oh, but you know it's overbearing grandma, 111 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: you know, but should Granny be allowed to do that? 112 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 3: Yeah? 113 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,840 Speaker 1: Dude, grant me asked, should Granny be pushing into the 114 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:15,479 Speaker 1: grave a little bit early? 115 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:15,799 Speaker 3: Grave? 116 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: No? 117 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 2: Kidding that push the question or push daisies? 118 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:19,720 Speaker 3: You decide. 119 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: That apologizes to both of us, saying that our family 120 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: means well but sometimes can be overbearing. The three of 121 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:30,359 Speaker 1: us laugh, but I noticed my mom not laughing. My 122 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 1: mom proceeds to take a bad situation that was under 123 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: control and actually ending, and decided to dump buckets of 124 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,720 Speaker 1: gasoline on oh. 125 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 2: She said that she. 126 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 1: Felt bad for her mom because she thought she was 127 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 1: upset because my grandfather, my mom's dad, is having healsh 128 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,479 Speaker 1: issues and they were afraid that he wouldn't live to 129 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: see my wedding. And here is where it all goes 130 00:05:55,600 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 1: to hell. She said, it was silly to postpone things 131 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: over a substance addiction that hasn't been a problem. 132 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 2: For several years. 133 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: My boyfriend just sat there, but I could physically both 134 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 1: see and feel him tense up. I was holding his hand. 135 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,279 Speaker 1: My dad spoke up, and he and my mom started 136 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:20,360 Speaker 1: arguing over it, and by what they were saying to 137 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 1: each other, I could tell they had talked about this 138 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,839 Speaker 1: after I told it him, no surprise, really, and I 139 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:27,919 Speaker 1: could tell that even though my dad was trying to 140 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: be polite and make Mom shut up, that he pretty 141 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 1: much felt the same way. I just could not take 142 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: it anymore. Do you think the truth is going to 143 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: come out. 144 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 3: I think the truth is about to. 145 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: Explode, which again leads back to John and I's golden 146 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:48,040 Speaker 1: rule is like, if you just tell your secrets early 147 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 1: and often, it's less of a problem. 148 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 5: Listen, ladies and gentlemen, you don't understand that this man 149 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 5: sitting to the left of me, he will go on 150 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 5: a first date and he will. 151 00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 3: Just boo boo boo, dump it all out there. 152 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 2: I do dump dump them. No, or at least I don't. 153 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 1: I feel like I I do not astray from being 154 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: honest with Confronted with. 155 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 2: Questions, he lays it all out there. 156 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 5: And I'm exaggerating obviously, but like he will, like he 157 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 5: is an honest man, he will tell you in a 158 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 5: good way. 159 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:28,920 Speaker 1: We try to practice what we preach here. I just 160 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: to be clear, I don't dump my entire trauma story 161 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: on first date. I just am am uh uh more 162 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: honest than most people are comfortable with this. 163 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 3: Again, I think in a good way. 164 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: So there sometimes, but my mom shut up and he 165 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: pretty much felt the same way. I just could not 166 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: take it anymore. I felt absolutely horrible for Greg. He 167 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: not only had to sit there for my grandparents, he 168 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 1: was now having to sit there for my parents, and 169 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: everybody is blaming him for all this. It wasn't fair 170 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: to him. I spoke up and told my parents that 171 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: I had to talk to them and that they needed 172 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 1: to stop arguing and stop blaming Greg for any of this. 173 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 1: He squeezed my hand, indicating to me that I should stop, like, 174 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: stop by, because it seems like it's going to be uh, 175 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 1: the truth is going to come out y. I looked 176 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: at him and he shook his head no. I told 177 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 1: him that no, this was not fair to him, and 178 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: ultimately it wasn't fair to them either, because they were 179 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 1: blaming him for the wrong reasons. Obviously, this got their attention. 180 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,719 Speaker 1: I went ahead and told them that after they had 181 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: kicked me out of the house, I had no home, 182 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,920 Speaker 1: no job, no education, no skills, no nothing. I only 183 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: told them that I became a spicy answer. I could 184 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: not bring myself to tell them anything more. But they 185 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,880 Speaker 1: are not dumb. My mom immediately gasped and started to cry. 186 00:08:56,679 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: My dad just sat there, dumbfounded and tried to calm 187 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 1: my mom down. My mom, after basically being hysterical for 188 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 1: a few minutes, apologized to Greg she had no idea 189 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,679 Speaker 1: and that he was a wonderful man for staying with 190 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: me even knowing that. Not sure how I feel about 191 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: that statement, but I guess in the end, she was 192 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,719 Speaker 1: coming from a good place, I think, okay, But the 193 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 1: main thing was that it did take the blame off 194 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,440 Speaker 1: of him, so ope, he's taking the bullet. My dad 195 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: welcomed him to the family by saying, this was just 196 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: a typical Thanksgiving trying to be funny dad joke. 197 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:39,840 Speaker 2: We love a good. 198 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 3: Die trying to break atension. 199 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 1: By the way, if you want a typical Thanksgiving, you 200 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 1: should join us live every YouTube and oh if you 201 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: should join us live every weekday at three pm PSD 202 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: right here on YouTube and facetook just tap her profile 203 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:58,439 Speaker 1: a bit. So there's a little bit more to this story, okay, 204 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: but uh, I mean I feel like it's kind of 205 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:04,680 Speaker 1: we're in a good spot. 206 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 2: We're in a good spot, We're getting there. 207 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 5: I will admit, if I was a parent and I 208 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:15,520 Speaker 5: found out that my child had to go through that, 209 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 5: my soul broken for them the And you know that's 210 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 5: why the comment for me was like wow, like what 211 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 5: you don't go to your child to be like. 212 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 213 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 5: Yeah, Like at that point, it's like, oh get the okay, yeah, 214 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 5: they yes, it's wrong. 215 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:37,959 Speaker 3: This is your child. 216 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,360 Speaker 5: Going through a painful experience, like I would just want 217 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,079 Speaker 5: to hold them that I don't know that was. 218 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 1: My Yeah, no, dude, I mean yeah. But again, like 219 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,240 Speaker 1: you know, looking like turn lemons in the lemonade, I 220 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 1: do feel all this, starting from a very honest place, 221 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: is going to rebuild the relationship with the parents and 222 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 1: the fiance in a much better way. 223 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 5: This is the pressure and fire that will build the 224 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 5: diamond of their exactionship. So you know, this moment is 225 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 5: part of the pressure and fire. But I think to 226 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 5: what you're saying, coming out on the other side with 227 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 5: like more truth and honestly I will, I do think 228 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 5: it will be. 229 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,840 Speaker 2: Stronger and agreed. So we got a little bit more 230 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 2: to this story. 231 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 3: Okay, let's do it. 232 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: So I asked Greg if he would mind if I 233 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,079 Speaker 1: talked with my parents and I would see him on Friday. 234 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 1: I walked him out, he kissed good night, and I 235 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: told him how wonderful I thought he was, and he 236 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 1: told me that I didn't need to tell him that 237 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 1: he wasn't going to say anything. I didn't tell the parents, 238 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 1: I said, I knew he wouldn't, but it was just 239 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 1: going to never get better with them unless they knew 240 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 1: the truth. I went back in and spent the next 241 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: several hours talking with my parents. Needless to say, it 242 00:11:55,800 --> 00:12:00,280 Speaker 1: was heartbreaking on several levels. My dad openly cried I've 243 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: never seen that. He blames himself for this. He said 244 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 1: that he never should have kicked me out and that 245 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: he ruined my life. No matter what I said or did, 246 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: I could not console him. My mom tried as well, 247 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: but nothing. Oh no, oh god, Oh this gets bad. 248 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,520 Speaker 3: I didn't read it didn't. 249 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:29,319 Speaker 2: Oh, oh, oh, my god. Oh. 250 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 1: We all went to bed, and I woke up because 251 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 1: my mom was panicking, calling nine to one one. My 252 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: dad was having chest pain. 253 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 3: Ooh, that's not good. That's not good. 254 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 1: The ambulance came and said he was having a heart 255 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:51,679 Speaker 1: attack and took him to the hospital that specializes in 256 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 1: heart problems. My dad looked horrible, and I was scared 257 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:59,440 Speaker 1: more than I ever have been. I called Greg and 258 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 1: he came and picked my mom up and me and 259 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:05,199 Speaker 1: drove us to the hospital. They would not let us 260 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 1: back to see him as they rushed him into surgery, 261 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:14,000 Speaker 1: and the doctor came out telling us that the ambulance 262 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 1: most likely saved. 263 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 2: His life most likely or did figures crossed. 264 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm holding in full suspense. 265 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,320 Speaker 1: Recognizing what was happening and that a surgeon was with 266 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:30,120 Speaker 1: him putting instants and had basically already used like a 267 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 1: plunger or something to get rid of the blood clot 268 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:37,559 Speaker 1: they found. We called our minister and he was there 269 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:41,800 Speaker 1: within an hour. My dad is scheduled to come home tomorrow. 270 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 2: Oh. 271 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,079 Speaker 1: He looked great tonight and said he felt perfectly fine. 272 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 1: Greg has been a rock for both me and my mom. 273 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: When he left to go get his food, my mom 274 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 1: actually told me that I need to make sure to 275 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 1: keep him because the only man she knew that was 276 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 1: any better because he was the only man she knew 277 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 1: that was any better than my dad. 278 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 2: God, this is his writing the heart. Ah. 279 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: I am just grateful that my dad is going to 280 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 1: be okay. Greg said tonight when he dropped me off 281 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: at home that life is never dule with me and 282 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 1: we both lash. 283 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 3: Yeah. 284 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,960 Speaker 1: I after try and help my dad realize that what 285 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,880 Speaker 1: he did was tough love and that he can't blame 286 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: himself for my poor choices. He didn't just kick me 287 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: out after my first second or even twenty third time. 288 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 1: They tried for a couple of years to reach me, 289 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: but I was not having it. I spoke with my 290 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,080 Speaker 1: minister about therapy for my dad and he said that 291 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 1: he will speak to him as his minister and recommend 292 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 1: another therapist if my dad is open to it. Hopefully 293 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 1: this should put an end to any updates. I know 294 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:59,800 Speaker 1: that Greg is the love of my life, and I 295 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 1: am doing anything in my power to make sure he 296 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 1: knows how much he means to me and how I 297 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:10,400 Speaker 1: will never betray his trust in me. 298 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 2: And that is where that story ends. 299 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 5: As Cheryl Dye said in chast in Chat, dang it 300 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 5: now I'm leaking. 301 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 2: Yu, dude. That was what a story. 302 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 5: And you know, this is a good story to show 303 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 5: life ain't always pretty, but the power of like working 304 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 5: together and like, think what Ope's overcome. Think what their 305 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 5: relationship is overcoming. Think what her the child parent relationship 306 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 5: is overcoming. Like this is just like a good case 307 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 5: study in being able to work and grow through very 308 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,760 Speaker 5: very hard things with the. 309 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 2: People you love. 310 00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it all started with just open, honest communications. 311 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 3: That's where it all started. 312 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 2: That is where all great relationships start, with communication and honesty, 313 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 2: and if you can have a foundation of that, there's 314 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 2: not a lot of things that life can throw at 315 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 2: you that you can't overcome. Yes, so. 316 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 1: I think that's where that story ends, and this episode ends. 317 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean, if you love us, make sure 318 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:34,520 Speaker 1: to subscribe. 319 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 2: Uh, we love you and see you tomorrow. This is 320 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 2: an episode from Deep within the Archives. 321 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 5: Time for okop relash. 322 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,320 Speaker 1: Ex girlfriend broke up with me after she caused me 323 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 1: to lose my leg in an accident, but now she 324 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 1: wants to get back together after I got a prosthetic leg. 325 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 2: Okop, this is Okayop. I'm Samuel Donner. 326 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: No, I'm John fro And we tell the funniest stories 327 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 1: on the Internet. 328 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:10,440 Speaker 6: And and and and and and and and and and 329 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:14,880 Speaker 6: and and and and and and and. 330 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:20,120 Speaker 3: The freaking. 331 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:33,600 Speaker 4: Baby sweet sweet getting story road and ready because here 332 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:34,000 Speaker 4: we go. 333 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,760 Speaker 1: All right, we got a story that we're gonna be 334 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 1: cruising and we're gonna be catching those pearly waves, those 335 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,360 Speaker 1: beautiful blues. 336 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,639 Speaker 2: And I got a story for you, John, I am ready. 337 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 1: Ex girlfriend broke up with me after she caused me 338 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: to lose my leg in an accident, but now she 339 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:57,639 Speaker 1: wants to get back together after I got a prosthetic leg. 340 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:03,800 Speaker 5: You know, just just two reasonable people doing reasonable things. 341 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:08,160 Speaker 1: Yes, isn't that redditch? Just reasonable people interacting. 342 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 3: Like picking up an apple at the grocery store. You know, 343 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 3: you lose a leg. She hates you. 344 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 2: You get a leg, and she wants you back. 345 00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:16,879 Speaker 3: You know, it's it's par for the courses. 346 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,920 Speaker 2: They now wondering what kind of leg that is. I 347 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 2: must have been some fancy leg to bring that lady 348 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 2: back into it. 349 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:26,160 Speaker 1: Something we die, leggy, Oh what you're doing that third leg? 350 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:26,840 Speaker 2: Baby? 351 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,919 Speaker 1: In twenty nineteen, I got into a car accident and 352 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 1: injured my left leg severely. My ex girlfriend was the 353 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: one driving and was the one responsible for the accident 354 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 1: because she was fighting with me and yelling at me 355 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,760 Speaker 1: in the car over a minor issue. 356 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:41,680 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 357 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 1: I advise her to either stop fighting or stop driving, 358 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 1: but she was reckless and didn't care that she was 359 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,919 Speaker 1: risking not only my life but hers as well. I 360 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,879 Speaker 1: suffered for months because of my leg. I had a 361 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:56,520 Speaker 1: severe infection resulting in amputation and have to use assistant 362 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: tools to be able to move. My ex girlfriend became 363 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,119 Speaker 1: distant and my parents were my main careers. Her treatment 364 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,160 Speaker 1: towards me took one hundred and eighty degree turn. Suddenly 365 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,000 Speaker 1: I wasn't good enough for her anymore, and at some 366 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 1: point she started comparing me to other fully functional guys, 367 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 1: claiming I wasn't the problem, It's just her low self esteem, 368 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: and so she was required to look for a partner 369 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,960 Speaker 1: that was better looking and had financial stability and more 370 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,159 Speaker 1: than one leg to stand on. 371 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 2: Like what I know. She made my trauma. 372 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: All about her and how being with a guy with 373 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 1: one leg affected her self esteem. And imagine the pain 374 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:34,600 Speaker 1: that she'd have to go through being in front of 375 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:35,640 Speaker 1: someone like that. 376 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 2: Imagine having won or freaking leg. 377 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: She broke things off with me, and her relationship was 378 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 1: supposed to end that day, but I foolishly spent months 379 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 1: and months begging and convincing her that we were meant 380 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: to be together. I even promised her that I do 381 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: all I can to be able to walk again, and 382 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: reminded her of the plans we had together. And I 383 00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 1: hated myself for it. My self esteem was almost nonexistent. 384 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,680 Speaker 1: Hope you gotta let her go, let. 385 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,159 Speaker 5: Her fly, and now poor O peace self esteem is. 386 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. 387 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:08,879 Speaker 1: I was dealing with PTSD on top of that I 388 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 1: afked up and resorted to medication to ease the pain. 389 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,720 Speaker 1: Therapy was on and off for me because I get 390 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: extremely agitated at the mention of my ex girlfriend. It 391 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 1: took time for me to be able to talk things 392 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,639 Speaker 1: out properly. I was so stupid thinking she was the one, 393 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,840 Speaker 1: and it only got worse when I became convinced that 394 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,800 Speaker 1: no one would accept me and my disability since it's 395 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: the reason my relationship with my ex girlfriend ended. My 396 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,639 Speaker 1: parents luckily helped so much. They and a few of 397 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,040 Speaker 1: my friends supported me to get through this tough time. 398 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 1: After seeing my overall health decline in the past six months, 399 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,640 Speaker 1: I was given the opportunity to be able to walk 400 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,959 Speaker 1: again after getting a prosthetic late. It's long overdue, but 401 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 1: money was the main problem, And now that I'm better, 402 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 1: my health is getting better. My mental health has improved. 403 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,520 Speaker 1: It was long overdue, but money was the main problem then. 404 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,400 Speaker 1: But now that situation is better and I'm better. Now 405 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,200 Speaker 1: my health is getting better, my mental health has improved, 406 00:20:58,359 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: and I've gained more self confidence. 407 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:00,600 Speaker 3: It's good to hear. 408 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's good. Oh Pie's on the up and up. 409 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 2: Oh Pie's on the up and up. 410 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 1: My ex girlfriend reached out to one of my friends, 411 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: wanting to talk to me about getting the prosthetic and 412 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,120 Speaker 1: bettering my health. My friend was like a messenger between us, 413 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: but I kept her in the dark, so she knows 414 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 1: nothing more than my friend knows. 415 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 2: Hmmm, I add. 416 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,679 Speaker 1: I made it clear that I have no intention to 417 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,439 Speaker 1: speak to her or discuss my health with her. My 418 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:27,119 Speaker 1: friend was respectful and stopped speaking to her about me. 419 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,600 Speaker 1: She visited my mom last week and left her number 420 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: with her, expecting me to call. I was stunned that 421 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 1: she was talking to my mom, and my mom told 422 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 1: me that my ex was out of town, it was 423 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: low contact with everyone, and couldn't check in on me 424 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,359 Speaker 1: despite wanting to. My mom told me the reason my 425 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,960 Speaker 1: ex never visited me was because she was out of town, 426 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,840 Speaker 1: in low contact with everyone, and couldn't check in on 427 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 1: me despite wanting to out of town. 428 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:51,200 Speaker 2: Out of town, where are you going? She said? 429 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,080 Speaker 1: I've never left her mind, and she was feeling happy 430 00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:57,680 Speaker 1: and excited for my experience with my new prosthetic right now. 431 00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,760 Speaker 1: She was waiting for me to call so we can 432 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,919 Speaker 1: get together and talk. But I didn't feel comfortable with 433 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,439 Speaker 1: that idea. Yeah, I gotta say. I felt nostalgic and 434 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,879 Speaker 1: wanted to call her number a few times, but some 435 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,880 Speaker 1: part of me said that it wasn't a good idea 436 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,639 Speaker 1: to do. So it's been a week and I didn't 437 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 1: call her. I'm not sure if I still have feelings 438 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,160 Speaker 1: for her. My family thinks I should talk to her. 439 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 1: After all, we've known each other for seven years. It's 440 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,120 Speaker 1: clear she wants to connect, but I don't think this 441 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 1: is what I want. Should I talk to her? 442 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,320 Speaker 2: What do you think? John? No, don't talk to her. 443 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,040 Speaker 2: She broke up with you about your. 444 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,280 Speaker 3: Leg, Dude. 445 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,119 Speaker 5: She's clear like something is wrong with her, and for 446 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 5: god knows what reason. Now that he's back with a leg, 447 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 5: she's like wanting to run back there. 448 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:40,359 Speaker 2: Yeah. 449 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 1: Like, if you can't take me with one leg, you 450 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,080 Speaker 1: don't deserve me at two. 451 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:46,760 Speaker 6: Yeah. 452 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,120 Speaker 1: Take that, but you know what you should always take 453 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:54,520 Speaker 1: with you your pals. Okop buy, subscribe to subscribing, follow 454 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,879 Speaker 1: on Spotify, on TikTok, and if you really want to 455 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,920 Speaker 1: be a support, oh go support us on Patreon with 456 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:04,760 Speaker 1: Kathy Quigley, Desiree Canterbury, Desiree Canterbury, and Kegan Simmons Kegan 457 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 1: Simmons see us soon.