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Speaker 1: Coming up on Keep It Positive, sweetie.

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Speaker 2: There's a group called Next. I used to choreograph.

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Speaker 1: You are kidding me?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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Speaker 1: Did you do too close stuff?

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Speaker 2: I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I didn't do that, but I was like I was

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Speaker 3: in the studio when like that was actually recorded.

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Speaker 1: Are you kidding?

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Speaker 2: I am not kidding. I love Next.

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Speaker 1: I grew up to Next. I was like a junior

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Speaker 1: high high.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So we all lived in Minnesota at the time. So

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Speaker 3: our manager was the same manager is at the time

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Speaker 3: as Net Condition.

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Speaker 1: Wow, and so.

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Speaker 2: You story to tell.

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Speaker 4: Hello, I'm Christopher and Hazel And this is keep It Pasitive, sweetie,

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Speaker 4: A safe face to heal, laugh.

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Speaker 2: Grow, and Love.

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Speaker 4: Season six is officially here and I am so excited

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Speaker 4: about how it will unfold. For decades, Tammy Franklin has

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Speaker 4: been the backbone of one of music's most prolific artists

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Speaker 4: and global creative forces, Kirk Franklin. In Retrospect and Real Talk,

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Speaker 4: she is all a force of her own. In recent years,

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Speaker 4: Tammy has branched out into more public speaking, along with

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Speaker 4: hosting television and radio shows, which have allowed her to

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Speaker 4: share her powerful testimony perspective while also exposing audiences and

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Speaker 4: fans to her infectious personality. As a wife, mom, gland

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Speaker 4: moom and encourager of women around the world. Tammy Franklin

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Speaker 4: personifies womanhood, wisdom, and winning.

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Speaker 1: I am so grateful we get to talk about how.

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Speaker 4: Tammy has withstood the storms of her past, how she's

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Speaker 4: embracing her present, and how she's embracing herself for the

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Speaker 4: blessings in the future ahead. Tammy Franklin, everyone, Davy, thank

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Speaker 4: you so much for coming.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad to be here.

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Speaker 1: We've been trying.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I've been trying to do this for a while.

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Speaker 2: I'm excited to come.

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Speaker 1: Sit on me too.

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Speaker 4: I've been wanting you to come on. We had Kirk

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Speaker 4: con and there's a few questions I asked him. He's like,

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Speaker 4: you got to ask Tammy, and I was like, you

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Speaker 4: know what, I am going to ask her about that.

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Speaker 1: So I was excited to get you here. I just

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Speaker 1: love you.

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Speaker 4: Like you have the most beautiful spirit. You're always pleasant

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Speaker 4: from the moment I met you. So just thank you

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Speaker 4: about you.

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Speaker 3: I mean, first of all, I'm assistant fans, so when

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Speaker 3: you were attitude the cast, I mean, all of you

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Speaker 3: ladies are beautiful. Yes, it was just something about you.

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Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, she's so. I just love her

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Speaker 3: the whole character.

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Speaker 2: It's just dope. So I'm like when I when I

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Speaker 2: met you in person, I was like, first of all,

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Speaker 2: you are gorgeous.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: You like, I mean, you know, pictures, but in person

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Speaker 3: does not do your pictures in any justice. To meet

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Speaker 3: you in person just I was like, oh, yeah, she's grounded.

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Speaker 2: You can tell she.

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Speaker 3: I mean, the stardom is nice, but I could just

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Speaker 3: sense your intentionality with wanting to stay.

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Speaker 1: Who you are. Yes, oh my goodness.

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Speaker 3: And I love when I meet women, especially a beautiful

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Speaker 3: woman who is.

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Speaker 2: So self aware that that's.

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Speaker 1: It was.

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Speaker 2: Really it was very important.

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Speaker 4: I'm a country girl, so for me, it was very

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Speaker 4: important to keep my Martin Tennessee.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah, Martin, I hear, I hear the seven

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Speaker 3: Now I'm a text Texas girl, that's right, Yeah seven girls.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I remember the first time I met you all.

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Speaker 4: We were at the grand opening of the new studio

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Speaker 4: Telebrade Studios and we're at the brunch and I told

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Speaker 4: Kirk that I was like, where'd you get those shipping grits?

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Speaker 1: And he gave me his plate, and y'all, you're like girl.

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Speaker 1: You had to take them grits and I was like,

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Speaker 1: is it okay? You're like, girl, take them? So they're

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Speaker 1: very good. Thank you. And I didn't have to wait

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Speaker 1: that long.

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Speaker 3: That you reminded us of that, because I remember the moment,

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Speaker 3: but to know that there.

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Speaker 1: Was because nobody knew I was then.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I was still starling Tyler at that moment. I

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Speaker 4: had a very small role on Sisters, but nobody knew that, oh,

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Speaker 4: that's the girl from Sisters.

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Speaker 1: I was not hurt yet. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: It was so funny because all the girls were there

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Speaker 4: and everybody knew who they were, and I was just

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Speaker 4: kind of in the back, like.

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Speaker 1: Nobody knew how it was that I was. I was

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Speaker 1: in the room though. Now, yeah, come on, that's what

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Speaker 1: God does.

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Speaker 4: Hello, Hello, Yeah, what about you tell me congratulations on

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Speaker 4: your son's new marriage.

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Speaker 1: You got two kids, man, we got to get kiddy made.

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Speaker 1: My son is her whole husband. How do you feel

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Speaker 1: about that too? Married?

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Speaker 3: I think as a as a mom, you desire you

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Speaker 3: pray for.

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Speaker 2: I have prayed for.

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Speaker 3: My children's the spouses that they have already didn't necessarily

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Speaker 3: know I was praying for them specifically, but I think

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Speaker 3: you know, when you are a mom and you want

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Speaker 3: your kids to find someone who to do life with,

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Speaker 3: who is suitable for them, and then you know you

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Speaker 3: have the opportunity. What I'm getting the opportunity to do

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Speaker 3: now is to see the things that I've poured into them,

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Speaker 3: because they're not perfect, but they're they're they're good, they're

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Speaker 3: good adults, they're good spouses and so my my baby boy.

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Speaker 3: But you know something, I always told my husband that

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Speaker 3: he was gonna marry early, really because.

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Speaker 4: You knew when he was how do you pronounce your

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Speaker 4: son's name, Kaziah? Yes, okay, I knew it.

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Speaker 1: You knew.

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Speaker 4: What was it about him that she's like, I know

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Speaker 4: this one's gonna marry?

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Speaker 2: Very mature, very relational driven.

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Speaker 3: He was the one like even with when dating that

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Speaker 3: I would have to remind hey, we're not at forever yet.

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Speaker 4: Oh He's like me, I'm the one that's gonna be

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Speaker 4: like so I'm like already writing, like.

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Speaker 1: To see how our last name goes, his last name goes,

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Speaker 1: minded like.

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Speaker 2: A creative.

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Speaker 3: He was able to kind of tap into that because typically,

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Speaker 3: if you're right, it's the girl.

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Speaker 2: Because maybe we have our weddings playing down well, we done.

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Speaker 3: Met him in junior high and we got the names

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Speaker 3: and all this right, but it was just something about

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Speaker 3: him and then his his his faith compass was very,

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Speaker 3: very strong.

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Speaker 2: The way he.

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Speaker 3: Regarded I would say girls because he was young, and

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Speaker 3: then later women. He was always intentional, dating with the purpose.

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Speaker 3: That was his mindset. And so I remember telling my

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Speaker 3: husband probably I want to say it's early.

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Speaker 2: As junior high, you knew it. I said, he's gonna

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Speaker 2: he's gonna marry early.

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Speaker 3: I see him doing maybe because he has my husband's

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Speaker 3: gift times ten.

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Speaker 1: Yes, he's instrument I saw musically inclined.

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Speaker 2: And he's but he's also a speaker, he's a writer.

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Speaker 2: He's and so he's left and right brain.

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Speaker 1: He was an athlete, and I mean it's incredible.

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Speaker 2: He's a yeah, like a lot of unicorn.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And God showed me even how to pray for him.

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Speaker 3: I mean pray for all my kids, but and pray

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Speaker 3: for them in specific ways.

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Speaker 2: With him.

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Speaker 3: I was like, Oh, he's right and left brain. That

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Speaker 3: means his mind's always going, Oh.

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Speaker 1: God, I feel like that's my brother. Like are we related?

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Speaker 1: Because like people.

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Speaker 4: You know what s because I'm like literally like I

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Speaker 4: feel like maybe he's my cousin someone because I feel

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Speaker 4: like I'm all over the place. Yes I'm creative, but

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Speaker 4: I'm very analytical. Yeah, it's our brains.

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Speaker 2: I need to check on those.

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Speaker 4: Yes, you know, I identify with it.

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Speaker 1: I totally understand what you're saying.

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Speaker 3: But to see them married, it's just you know, and

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Speaker 3: and Kennedy's seriously dating and I like him good, you know,

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Speaker 3: And I was I saw it my parents when I'm married,

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Speaker 3: and I think Kirk being adopted, they took it even

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Speaker 3: an extra step. They became his parents, and so that

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Speaker 3: was modeled for me. And I'm that type of mother

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Speaker 3: in law. I want to be a mother in love

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Speaker 3: and not you know, horror. And so it's been I've

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Speaker 3: been it's been really important to me that Elena, my

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Speaker 3: son's wife, she is.

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Speaker 4: So I know she's a woman, but she's just adorable, yagol.

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Speaker 2: They just the perfect yeah, you know, they're all the.

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Speaker 3: Tree climbing and and all the things and so but

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Speaker 3: it was it's just was really important to me. In fact,

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Speaker 3: I did a post of my intentionality towards her and

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Speaker 3: her her mother passed and so I've been praying, like God,

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Speaker 3: what am.

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Speaker 2: I supposed to be to her. This is a very unique,

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Speaker 2: you know, set of circumstances.

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Speaker 1: So it was just.

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Speaker 3: Important to me that I'd be intentional with fostering relationship

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Speaker 3: with her, never wanting her to feel like she ever.

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Speaker 2: Needed to compete with me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, nor put my son in the position of feeling

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Speaker 3: like he had to choose.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So it was just really important to me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I look at that and I love how you have

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Speaker 4: relationships with all your children and it's so beautiful to watch,

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Speaker 4: Like I've actually gotten to see firsthand with you and

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Speaker 4: Kenny when you're here in Atlanta, but with your son

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Speaker 4: and with.

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Speaker 1: Your older daughter. You all have a podcast or radio

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Speaker 1: show together.

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Speaker 3: We have a show on Serious ex sem Amazing and

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Speaker 3: it's in real life with Tammy and Carrington, I have fun.

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Speaker 4: What was like, what was the inspiration behind that? What

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Speaker 4: made you guys say hey, let's do this.

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Speaker 3: Honest, we would do like because on my husband's stations,

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Speaker 3: Kirk Franklin's pretty and so we would do like one

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Speaker 3: off shows like special shows, and the series came to

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Speaker 3: us and was like, hey, you know, people are saying

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Speaker 3: this would be a really cool weekly show, and so

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Speaker 3: that's kind of how it branched off, which we would

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Speaker 3: do like a Mother's Day special, a Father's Day special,

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Speaker 3: and but we wanted it, of course to be faith based,

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Speaker 3: but also we wanted to introduce our audience to maybe.

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Speaker 2: Things in the culture, you know, something.

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Speaker 3: Like imposture syndrome, things like that were you know, not

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Speaker 3: necessarily spoken about in a faith based space. And so

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Speaker 3: it's that's why were named it in real life, so

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Speaker 3: we wouldn't be like Pigeon held to like what we

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Speaker 3: could talk about. We talk about, you know, from dating

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Speaker 3: to mother in law, drama to you know, all the things.

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Speaker 2: And as fun as I get a chance to see

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Speaker 2: my daughter.

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Speaker 4: Yeah Bossom, Yeah, because she has her own family now,

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Speaker 4: two beautiful children.

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Speaker 2: I love you, love.

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Speaker 1: You, Yes, love me and my husband's boss.

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Speaker 4: Yeah those kids are Yeah, y'all just have some beautiful offspring.

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Speaker 1: Like and just kept going, yeah, beautiful, beautiful.

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Speaker 4: What was that transition like, going from like being a

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Speaker 4: mother to your children and now they're adults.

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Speaker 3: You know, God has gifted me in a way, and

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Speaker 3: I know it was there are times in your life

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Speaker 3: in which you know the realness of God and the

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Speaker 3: way I was staying I got married at twenty five.

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Speaker 2: I was, I was a baby. That was my goal

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Speaker 2: that now you know.

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Speaker 1: What twenty five is what I tell the Lord, you know, I.

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Speaker 3: Think twenty seven thirty like my earliest, but because I

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Speaker 3: mean there's so much and I'm, you know, be fifty

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Speaker 3: five this year.

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Speaker 1: Year tut what's the sek? What's the water? The well

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Speaker 1: you're drinking out of?

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Speaker 2: If you see my mama?

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, the pool?

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Speaker 2: Thank you?

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Speaker 3: Yes, right, thank you Jesus black cracks a little slower,

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Speaker 3: it does, congratulations.

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Speaker 2: Right, exercise.

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Speaker 3: I tried to eliminate stress, so, you know, and I

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Speaker 3: think it helps that we're tiny people. People just tend

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Speaker 3: to look younger.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: But the transition into adulthood, so I've always had this

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Speaker 3: plan that that would.

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Speaker 2: I took motherhood like that seriously. So I was like,

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Speaker 2: it is my responsibility to foster, foster and usher them

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Speaker 2: into adulthood.

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Speaker 3: And so I always plan for it, right, But I

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Speaker 3: know at twenty five, like who things like that?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 3: You know, shorter, Holy Spirit, I know I know for

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Speaker 3: a fact, God like was downloading that, you know, and

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Speaker 3: to me.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm still their mother. I'm more of a

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Speaker 2: friend now, I.

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Speaker 1: Ain't one of your friends.

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Speaker 3: I said that, but now I'll be like, okay, we're

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Speaker 3: friends experiends now.

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Speaker 2: And it's so funny because they're like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: now that.

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Speaker 3: We're in the like friend zone of our mother, daughter

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Speaker 3: or mother, They're like, you're telling us everything.

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Speaker 2: You didn't know that.

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Speaker 1: This is new.

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Speaker 3: You know. It's like, well, welcome to adulthood. And now

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Speaker 3: you know that that cousin was crazy, you know, and

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Speaker 3: and they like.

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Speaker 2: And now they're saying things. But my always wanted my

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Speaker 2: kids to feel.

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Speaker 3: So comfortable, and I wanted to be approachable even when

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Speaker 3: they would tell me things that you know, I was

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Speaker 3: clutching my pearls on the inside, but on the outside

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Speaker 3: they gonna see, I got you.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 2: Ain't nothing you can't tell me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that is beautiful. I love that.

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Speaker 2: It's been. They're my little homies. Are my friends.

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Speaker 1: I see it.

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Speaker 3: My girls are my some of my best friends. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I have, you know, best friends.

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Speaker 2: But you know, my son.

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Speaker 3: Is so close and there is something about a mother's

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Speaker 3: son relationship in which he sees me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah in a way, I was like, am.

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Speaker 3: I blushing like a little school because he just he's

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Speaker 3: always let me know that.

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Speaker 1: He sees me. Yeah, very mindful. Yes, yeah, I love that.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 4: Now we had Kirk on and he talked about how

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Speaker 4: not having a father and mother was not as present,

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Speaker 4: how hard it was for him, and how he puts

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Speaker 4: so much emphasis in the children. Yes, And I asked

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Speaker 4: him on the show. I was like, Kirk do you

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Speaker 4: I said, how did Timmy feel about that? And he said, well,

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Speaker 4: you have to ask, I asked, tim Yeah, I want

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Speaker 4: you to watch this clip of what he said, and

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Speaker 4: I want to get your thoughts because I really I.

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Speaker 1: Was like, I'm going to ask her.

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Speaker 5: Even to the fault, I could be honest and saying

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Speaker 5: and I've never said this on anything before, and I've

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Speaker 5: been saying and I'll I'll be transparent here to say,

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Speaker 5: is that even to a fault that a lot of terms.

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Speaker 5: I realize now that they were empty nesting. I probably

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Speaker 5: invested even more to them than I even sometimes did her,

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Speaker 5: because with her, the natural man to do things is

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Speaker 5: always the red bottoms, the car, the person you know.

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Speaker 5: You know, you you're always doing the things that you

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Speaker 5: think are the things, and they're not the things you know,

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Speaker 5: and so I am guilty of that. I am make

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Speaker 5: sure me guilty of that, you know, and you know

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Speaker 5: it's not intentional. It's just what you end up doing

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Speaker 5: because you're so busy trying to make it. And then

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Speaker 5: when you come from poverty, you know, you you think

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Speaker 5: that these things are the things that matter. But also

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Speaker 5: it was a lot for me. A lot of the

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Speaker 5: attention was these kids cannot feel.

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Speaker 3: What I felt.

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Speaker 1: They cannot feel what I feeling.

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Speaker 5: And not having a blueprint for being a daddy, I

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Speaker 5: overdid the day.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 5: You know, it's it's like I would come in from

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Speaker 5: the studio, you know, three or four o'clock in the

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Speaker 5: morning and sit up and sit up in the chair

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Speaker 5: so I wouldn't fall asleep, so I could take them

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Speaker 5: to school, you know, because like they cannot feel it,

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Speaker 5: they cannot feel it. And so that's what drove me.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but you all that you feel like you was

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Speaker 4: neglecting Tammy as well.

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Speaker 5: It's I don't well that would be for her to say,

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Speaker 5: you know, well yeah, you know, but but but but

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Speaker 5: whatever she may feel, I look back and go, you know, man,

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Speaker 5: I did not learn. And then it's also the things

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Speaker 5: that you know, some things are taught, some things.

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Speaker 4: Are so now, mmy, did you because I thought about that,

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Speaker 4: you know, Eliza, as a child whose parents worked really

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Speaker 4: hard to give me everything that I wanted and needed,

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Speaker 4: there were often times where I needed them in other ways,

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Speaker 4: not like how he said the read a bout of

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Speaker 4: the person that I needed other things and those were

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Speaker 4: not the things I needed.

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Speaker 2: So other things you.

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Speaker 1: Got, yes, are the things you got? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: So was there a times where you felt neglected as

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Speaker 4: a wife because he was putting so much emphasis on

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Speaker 4: the career all the kids.

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Speaker 3: I think that when you're in it, you don't necessarily

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Speaker 3: recognize it like that him wanting to And I would

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Speaker 3: say this if anybody has.

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Speaker 2: Fallen madly and deeply in love with his.

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Speaker 3: Story to the point of wanting to protect him. I

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Speaker 3: think that as a wife, you kind of you know,

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Speaker 3: And so I think for me, you know, listening to

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Speaker 3: that clip and really kind of you know, thinking about it.

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Speaker 2: I remember when it when I watched when it first.

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Speaker 3: Came out, but I hadn't seen it in a while,

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Speaker 3: and so I think initially I cheered him on. I

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Speaker 3: applauded the fact. You know what, woman though, doesn't want

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Speaker 3: an involved father father. Yeah, But now on the opposite

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Speaker 3: end of that at empty nesting stage. You know, I

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Speaker 3: do see where there was deficiency. And I believe that

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Speaker 3: probably a lot of couples that you sit with a

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Speaker 3: wife would say, yeah, I don't think nobody can be

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Speaker 3: a woman supporting Yeah, yeah, no, nobody beat us supporting

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Speaker 3: Yeah to a fault.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true, to a fallt yeah.

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Speaker 2: And so that's real, you know.

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Speaker 3: And it's like, now, you know, at twenty nine years

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Speaker 3: of marriage, do I see there were deficiencies with regards

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Speaker 3: to support of me or pushing me in what would

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Speaker 3: you you know, like to do? And then two we

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Speaker 3: grew up in an error because I'm not mad at

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Speaker 3: him for it, we grew up in an error in which,

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Speaker 3: especially if you grew up in church and ministry, the.

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Speaker 2: Men industry is what.

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Speaker 3: Is, you know, the most vital, the most important, and

388
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Speaker 3: in terms of your role as a wife, that's your

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Speaker 3: role is home and supporting. So it's like supporting husband,

390
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Speaker 3: but the ministry is added, it adds a whole, it

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Speaker 3: does other layer. So in my mind, this is what

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Speaker 3: I'm called to do, this is my ministry.

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Speaker 1: That's a beautiful perspective.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, so I'm not necessarily mad about it,

395
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Speaker 3: you know what I mean? My husband traveled a whole lot,

396
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Speaker 3: and his desire was that we'd not be apart anymore

397
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Speaker 3: than two got say, two years, dars two weeks, Yeah,

398
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Speaker 3: and he didn't want any more than two weeks of

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Speaker 3: being apart from me.

400
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Speaker 2: And then.

401
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Speaker 3: You know, my kids needed normalcy, and so it worked

402
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Speaker 3: best for us that I'd be at home. And you know,

403
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 3: do I wish I would have done some things different?

404
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,480
Speaker 2: It's kind of like both and I.

405
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Speaker 3: Wouldn't change anything, but then I would change something, you

406
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:09,360
Speaker 3: know what I mean?

407
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Speaker 4: What would you like if there's anything that you would

408
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,159
Speaker 4: have like, Tim, you should have done this, or I

409
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 4: would have done this.

410
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 3: I think that just more emphasis and thoughts to what

411
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Speaker 3: is it that I would like to do as a woman,

412
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:29,160
Speaker 3: Your your dreams, your hopes. Everything becomes like what your

413
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 3: kids you know, it's their hopes and their.

414
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Speaker 2: Dream is or my husband's. Wow, and I'm there to

415
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Speaker 2: like how we gonna make it happen?

416
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Speaker 3: Because, like I said, nobody beat us, nobody beat a woman.

417
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Speaker 3: But what it has informed me, Crystal, is I'm able

418
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Speaker 3: now to tell my daughter in law, Yeah, I was

419
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,880
Speaker 3: shared with your story. I was going to I want

420
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Speaker 3: her to have a special gift from me, and I

421
00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 3: bought her a necklace and I was going to buy

422
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 3: her an F symbolizing Franklin. And I took a step

423
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,679
Speaker 3: back and I said, no, I'm going to get her

424
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Speaker 3: an A for Elena. Because of what I have experienced,

425
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Speaker 3: I now can share with my new daughter in law,

426
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 3: other women, hey, and my son. I raised him, Yes,

427
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,880
Speaker 3: I raised him to understand that as a husband, she's

428
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 3: not there just to serve you and your.

429
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Speaker 2: Hopes and your dreams. Cultivate her what does she want

430
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Speaker 2: to do? Make sure you're asking her often.

431
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Speaker 3: Yes, And with Elena the gift I gave her with

432
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Speaker 3: that a, I wrote a little note to her and

433
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,440
Speaker 3: I said, I know right now you're trying to think

434
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Speaker 3: about how can I be suitable, adaptable all the things? Yes, Kazaiah,

435
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,760
Speaker 3: all the things wife. And I said, I want you

436
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 3: when you see this a on your neck, I want

437
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:54,120
Speaker 3: you to think about yourself.

438
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Speaker 2: But I wouldn't want to do that.

439
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 1: You wouldn't have known that.

440
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,719
Speaker 2: Yes, had I not gone through it.

441
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Speaker 1: Gold I love it. I love it.

442
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 4: Oh so talking about things that you put to the

443
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,400
Speaker 4: side when you became a wife a lot of people

444
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 4: don't know this, but you you was.

445
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Speaker 1: A yes, that is incredible.

446
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Speaker 2: I did not.

447
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:24,120
Speaker 1: I was like, you haven't asked Kirk in the family girl.

448
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 2: Because they signed.

449
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Speaker 1: Okay, it's different.

450
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 3: Yes, I was a little group called a Shanty Whoa

451
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 3: and we some people may remember this.

452
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 2: I saw this on like a.

453
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 3: You know how there's these different I G pages. This

454
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 3: this page was like all like old R and B. Yes,

455
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 3: and we had a really big single. We were side

456
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 3: signed to Scottie Brother Records and we had the single

457
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,880
Speaker 3: that was a reply to.

458
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 2: And I wasn't there.

459
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 3: It's something wrong. They they got like pretty big.

460
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 1: Can I get how did it go? Because I know

461
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 1: how I don't see nothing wrong.

462
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 2: There is something wrong.

463
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: It was like the gospel version.

464
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 2: It was because we're already singing gospel music. Okay, yeah,

465
00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,679
Speaker 2: you know this is before a girls group were like

466
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,200
Speaker 2: trying overly things.

467
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,120
Speaker 3: And so for me, a lot of people know, part

468
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 3: of my story has been a single mom. When Kirk

469
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:39,959
Speaker 3: and I married, I had Carrington and he had carry On.

470
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 3: So they were five and six and Kirk did legally

471
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 3: adopt her, and so you know, for me, it was

472
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 3: a way to take care of my daughter. I've always

473
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 3: you know, it's funny how God prepares you for what

474
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 3: you're going to do. Mm hm, and you have no

475
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 3: idea what it is, like, what are you preparing for?

476
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 1: Yes?

477
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 2: And so even within.

478
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 3: The group, I was the one that did the choreography.

479
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 2: I was the one that did.

480
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 3: Like our outfits. There's a group called Next I used

481
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 3: to choreograph.

482
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 1: You are kidding me? Now, did you do too close stuff?

483
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 2: I didn't.

484
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,680
Speaker 3: I didn't do that, but I was. I was in

485
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 3: the studio when like that was actually recorded.

486
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 1: Are you kidding?

487
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 2: I am not kidding.

488
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 1: I love I grew up.

489
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:28,360
Speaker 2: I was like in junior high high.

490
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

491
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,199
Speaker 3: So we all lived in Minnesota at the time. So

492
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 3: our manager was the same manager is at the time

493
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 3: as net condition.

494
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,160
Speaker 1: Wow, and so.

495
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,280
Speaker 2: Story to tell what I've been around, friend.

496
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 3: I mean, it was twenty one, not a year in

497
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,920
Speaker 3: the world living in Minnesota.

498
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 2: But let me God, even in.

499
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 3: That we rather than going to New York or l A,

500
00:24:55,080 --> 00:25:00,679
Speaker 3: Minnesota was the most family friendly at midnight, and we

501
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 3: were in church like we were inquired or we would

502
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:03,679
Speaker 3: have on our little fish.

503
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,040
Speaker 2: Net panting holes and hot paint.

504
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 3: You know, I'm not dressed for Wednesday night service and

505
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 3: then we're going to like we're going to Princess Club

506
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 3: with glam Slam.

507
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 2: I was ready for it. I was ready ready the

508
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:23,160
Speaker 2: Church for Coming Seals performed that. It was a time.

509
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:28,399
Speaker 1: Wow that you know, it took me back. Listen, you

510
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: need to write a book. I haven't thought about that.

511
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 2: It has been suggested to me often.

512
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 1: That was another one. Yeah you should. Yeah, I think

513
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:43,919
Speaker 1: I would love to read your journey.

514
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,240
Speaker 2: I mean yeah. I did.

515
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:49,879
Speaker 3: Also actually did a forward for a book, and the

516
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 3: agent said, hey, have you thought about you know, writing,

517
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 3: See I got I got more time on my hands.

518
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,639
Speaker 1: Now, yes, yes you do. That'll be dope author to

519
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:01,400
Speaker 1: your resume.

520
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 2: I like that, I think.

521
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 1: So okay, awesome, Okay. So you know I am forty two.

522
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 1: I said I wanted to be married by twenty five.

523
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 1: That didn't happen.

524
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,520
Speaker 4: As a woman, you know, I'm in the industry and

525
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 4: I'm a Southern woman.

526
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 1: So I was raised in the church.

527
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 4: I know about being submissive, I know about being a

528
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 4: helpmate and all the things that you all things.

529
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 1: Yes, And for a long time I felt like God.

530
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,479
Speaker 4: At first, I was questioning, like God, why haven't you

531
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,399
Speaker 4: you blessed me with everything else, but this thing, what

532
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 4: is it? And then I had to take a step

533
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 4: back and I realized I wasn't ready for that thing.

534
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 4: And now I feel like I'm in the states where

535
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 4: I am ready for it. And I want to know

536
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 4: if you could tell me, because I know you sowing

537
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 4: to your daughters, what would you tell a young woman

538
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:53,960
Speaker 4: who is desiring marriage daughter? Yes, what would you tell

539
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,159
Speaker 4: someone who is desiring marriage later on in life or

540
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 4: even now?

541
00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 1: Because women, this dating culture is it's very ghetto.

542
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 2: I hear, sorry for y'all.

543
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 1: Sorry, man, my producers over here. She's like very trash.

544
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:22,919
Speaker 2: So sorry. I mean these mamas to not raise trash.

545
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 2: That was my plan.

546
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, you will be intral, yes, exactly. And I think

547
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 3: that's one of the first things is is he godly? Yeah?

548
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 3: But is he integral? Because there are some men that

549
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 3: are godly but they're not.

550
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 1: That is so true, yes, and they're not.

551
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, And they are using repentance as an excuse to

552
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 3: just act the fool because forgive me, yeah, you know.

553
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 2: And it's like so first and foremost godly, but integral.

554
00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,480
Speaker 2: What's his character that's so good?

555
00:27:59,600 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 1: Yeah?

556
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 3: You know in the in the smallest and little of

557
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 3: the things. You know, we think it needs to watch

558
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:06,360
Speaker 3: how you know the bigger thing?

559
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, watch a small thing.

560
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, watch the really really small things. I love

561
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 3: the fact, Crystal, that you you wanted something but recognize

562
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 3: that you that you weren't ready for it. I love

563
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:23,120
Speaker 3: the and I think to me that meant that you

564
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,120
Speaker 3: have done.

565
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 2: A lot of soul searching.

566
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,679
Speaker 3: Yes, and you've done Oh, you've done like inner work

567
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 3: that helps ward off foolishness. Yeah, because you're probably don't

568
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,159
Speaker 3: have some foolishness, yes.

569
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 2: Along the way I have. And so now at forty two,

570
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 2: even though that wasn't your.

571
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 3: Plans, Yeah, that you have, you have healed eyes and

572
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 3: you have a healed heart.

573
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 1: Wow.

574
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 3: And you will attract healed yes, and not we all

575
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 3: gonna come with some trauma.

576
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: Yeah.

577
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're all gonna gig out.

578
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 3: I've been in therapy on my own for a year

579
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 3: or now and I'm learning same.

580
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 6: Yeah.

581
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 1: I just started like a year ago two.

582
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 2: So there will be you're gonna you're gonna come with trauma.

583
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 2: He's gonna come with something. Yeah, but.

584
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 3: You will attract more of a healed person because you've

585
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 3: done the work.

586
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I realized that I was attracting exactly who I was,

587
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh my gosh. And David Man,

588
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 4: him and Tamla did my live show and he told everybody,

589
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 4: make a list of what you want and your maid

590
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 4: and then become the list because a lot of times

591
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 4: we have.

592
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 2: I saw that. I thought that was so powerful, Oh

593
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 2: my god, especially coming from a man.

594
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 1: Yep.

595
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 3: But David is a he's a girl's dad, yes, yeah,

596
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 3: and so I think that that informs his lens for that,

597
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 3: because I mean typically that I think that's a woman

598
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:51,880
Speaker 3: way of thinking.

599
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I thought it.

600
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 3: Was so it was so powerful, but it was especially

601
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 3: powerful coming from him.

602
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 1: It was that was I was like, a I'm taking that.

603
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:07,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody for yourself, yes, as opposed to expecting someone

604
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 3: else to fulfill Yeah, all of that.

605
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, the immature Christal was definitely looking for someone else.

606
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 4: If you feel all those things, you deserve it.

607
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, you deserve the heel side of you. Yeah, yest.

608
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

609
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 4: And a lot of times I don't think I even

610
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 4: realized that I wasn't healed and how much trauma I

611
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 4: was holding on to until I.

612
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: Got into therapy. I was like, what, listen, need.

613
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 2: People to understand it is therapy. In Jesus, it is

614
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 2: therapy and Jesus it is.

615
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 3: Both and yeah, and it's hard, it's a process. It

616
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 3: is a lot of times people like, you know, oh,

617
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 3: I went to a couple of sessions that was.

618
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 1: Cute, that was.

619
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,760
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, Yeah, you gotta get you got to get

620
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 3: in there.

621
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: And We've always utilized therapy for our marriage.

622
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 3: And I've always been open, like to counsel, whether it

623
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 3: be even on my own before I was married, whether

624
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 3: it be getting with my my youth pastor getting with

625
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 3: like someone older woman that I trusted, so seeking help

626
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 3: wasn't foreign to me. And then, you know, you get

627
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 3: married twenty five and so now you're utilizing therapy for marriage.

628
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 3: But it was I'm my lord, Jesus, why would you

629
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,200
Speaker 3: allow me to get in my fifties and have all

630
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 3: of a sudden all these triggers and I'm trying to

631
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 3: figure out where are they?

632
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 2: Yes, And I kind of was looking at him a

633
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 2: little sideways, like God, what were we doing? And he was like,

634
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 2: you'd handle it.

635
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:50,960
Speaker 1: Now.

636
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:53,200
Speaker 2: You can handle the answers.

637
00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 4: You can handle its younger Meneah.

638
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 2: Messaging that you received, especially as a women. The messaging

639
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 2: that we received, messaging that you received unknowingly. They didn't

640
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 2: mean any any harm.

641
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 1: They love us and my parents.

642
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 2: My messaging was, I was you're strong. You're strong, and

643
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 2: so oftentimes it has informed.

644
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 3: How I lived throughout the world, and often I would

645
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 3: take on everybody's affirmities. You're strong hand, and that also

646
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 3: means you're taking on abuse. At times, you're taking on

647
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 3: being being something you were never.

648
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 2: Intended to be.

649
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's real. Yeah.

650
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 2: And when I tell you this here therapy therapy sessions.

651
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,120
Speaker 2: There are days. What I love about my therapist, she

652
00:32:58,240 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 2: was like, I don't want.

653
00:32:59,000 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: You to process at all.

654
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 3: The next couple of days rest Wow, And she'll text

655
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,800
Speaker 3: me breathe.

656
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

657
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 2: There are times I don't.

658
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:08,920
Speaker 3: I don't you walking through the day, you don't realize

659
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 3: you're holding your breath because you're like there's so much tension.

660
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 2: Literally in your body. Yeah that's so. There are times

661
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 2: I even telling myself breathe, breathe.

662
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's real.

663
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 4: I just did a retreat and we had a meditation lady,

664
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 4: and she did a session. She goes take deep breaths.

665
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 4: She said, we live in a world of shallow breathers

666
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 4: because every's like this, and she said, you ain't realize

667
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 4: that you're not breathing.

668
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: Like take a deep breath and let it out.

669
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, I was like it's so simple,

670
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 2: that is so real.

671
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you don't realize it because you go through

672
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 4: life just like just hold on to everything.

673
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 2: One day was a red light and didn't realize I

674
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:54,760
Speaker 2: was like white knuckling the steering wheel and I was

675
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 2: like this, yes, and I.

676
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,360
Speaker 3: Was like breathe and I just I really feel it.

677
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 3: And then I have to ask myself. I'm learning through therapy,

678
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 3: what is it that you need? What is it that

679
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 3: you want? What is it that you have not processed?

680
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,840
Speaker 3: Because all that that tension is coming from someone.

681
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 1: It is Yeah, it really.

682
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:15,840
Speaker 2: Is coming from somewhere.

683
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 3: So people therapy and Jesus quit making people feel shameful

684
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:22,879
Speaker 3: that they're not.

685
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 2: That that they don't have faith if they if they

686
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,839
Speaker 2: need therapy, and.

687
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,319
Speaker 3: Then let me say this and someone the Saints won't

688
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 3: get mad at me. Okay, go to a licensed yes therapist.

689
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 4: Yeah.

690
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 3: There are a lot of people within ministry that are gifted.

691
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 3: They are they're gifted, but they may not be equipped.

692
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: MM hmm.

693
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 2: Equipped to go take that deep dive. Yes, that you

694
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 2: really really need.

695
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 3: A whole bunch of people walking around still broken and

696
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,840
Speaker 3: they're like, why do I t I'm his sister, so

697
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 3: and so I went to my pasta or my mentor

698
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 3: that's great.

699
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, that's good. That's I need to go. Yeah,

700
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: that's so true, and it helps.

701
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 2: And that little shirt to Jubai. They little shoes at

702
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 2: Dubai and you can put it towards therapy.

703
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 1: But yeah, I can't afford it.

704
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 2: I can't afford it.

705
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's gonna have to do without something.

706
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 2: How about snow coffee? No, you know, for a little bit,

707
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 2: just a little bit, Yeah, just a little bit. Try it.

708
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,879
Speaker 3: I Mean I always say, you know, I've never met

709
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 3: a person unless they just really really did want to

710
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 3: be there.

711
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, they didn't try it, Yeah, and feel like it

712
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 2: was beneficial.

713
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 4: So yeah, you know, every person that I know that

714
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 4: has tried it is like, oh my goodness, why I

715
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:45,320
Speaker 4: wait so long.

716
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 2: I'm like that about myself right now.

717
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,720
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm finally on my own

718
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 3: therapy journey, and why did I do this sooner?

719
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,359
Speaker 2: And it wasn't like I was against it, right, I.

720
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:02,760
Speaker 3: Think, you know, distracted by life raising kids.

721
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 2: You know, a husband who is.

722
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 3: A lot, him a lot.

723
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 2: And leads with his trauma. Yeah, so his became yeah,

724
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 2: what we.

725
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 1: Need to do.

726
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 2: Yes, now I'm taking care of Tammy.

727
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 1: I know, yes to taking care of Tammy. I love it.

728
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 2: Taking care of middle days.

729
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,240
Speaker 1: It's my sister from another vista.

730
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 4: Okay, speaking of mental health your marriage, I know, like

731
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 4: a lot of things that Kirk has been in the

732
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 4: lights and even with the church, and I'm going through it.

733
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 1: I've gone through it.

734
00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,800
Speaker 4: The more I become vocal about my relationship with Christ

735
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:54,800
Speaker 4: and still being flawed and being transparent about those flaws,

736
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:56,959
Speaker 4: there's a lot of really ridicule that has come.

737
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 2: There's flawed people in the Bible. Hello, all off, why

738
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 2: do we require perfectionism? It is that is? It is

739
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 2: not God.

740
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:08,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's why I really try to encourage people

741
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:13,800
Speaker 3: that walk away, Yeah from God.

742
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 1: People hurt you yeah, yep mm hmm.

743
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 4: People hurt they do Yeah, what have you done to

744
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:24,799
Speaker 4: like stay strong when you see the comments, because I

745
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,360
Speaker 4: know for me, when I see comments, I'll.

746
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: Be ready to clap back. And you know, like what

747
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:30,719
Speaker 1: what like how need.

748
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 2: To keep Kennedy for the smoke. But she had saw

749
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 2: her daddy. She ready for the smoke, walk the smoke

750
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:46,919
Speaker 2: fourteen and you're ready.

751
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 3: I am more contemplated, really, I am now when it

752
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:52,879
Speaker 3: but when they come to.

753
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:54,880
Speaker 1: My kids, that's that's a different story.

754
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm still that's just my personality.

755
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,800
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take us. I'm always gonna take a step

756
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 3: back to take a beatback. There are times in which

757
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 3: I really really want to like go in and say, oh,

758
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 3: you're so misinformed.

759
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then.

760
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:14,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, I am trying to explain myself or I

761
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 3: want to explain myself to strangers why this is not

762
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:19,760
Speaker 3: my circle?

763
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:20,320
Speaker 1: Right?

764
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,400
Speaker 4: And I had to check myself. Chris, you do not

765
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 4: know these people. They don't really know you.

766
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 3: And right now there is such a it's a weirdness

767
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 3: going on. You mentioned about you know, the more your

768
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 3: vocal with your faith, there.

769
00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 2: Is it is a.

770
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 3: Legalistic, offensive, judgmental spirit. And I call it a spirit.

771
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 3: It is because it's like you, you are giving me

772
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,720
Speaker 3: man made requirements.

773
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 2: God is not requiring this of me.

774
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

775
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 3: One time, something as simple as I was this this

776
00:38:56,320 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 3: girl did like incredible nails. There were Thanksgiving nails like law.

777
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 3: But the girl she had a turkey.

778
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, and.

779
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 2: It is evil and not a god.

780
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,399
Speaker 1: So I had the time that day see the sun days.

781
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 2: I got.

782
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 3: To tell me that God that made all these animals

783
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:23,760
Speaker 3: to the point, there are something we have never.

784
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:29,880
Speaker 2: Seen before, all the beautiful skylines and truth, our creative God.

785
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 2: It's mad about creativity. And I said, stop adding to salvation.

786
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 1: Stop it, yes see, and you're gonna put this on.

787
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 3: And I'm I guess I was raised so etiquette and

788
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 3: sometimes I'm wonder I'll DM a person because I'm like,

789
00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:55,319
Speaker 3: I'm gonna read you.

790
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 2: But but I was like, no, we're gonna put it

791
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 2: in the thread.

792
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 4: You put it on, you went to So I'm like

793
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,839
Speaker 4: to you, right, yes, I mean, and I.

794
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,400
Speaker 2: Know that was simple. That wasn't about you know, my family.

795
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:10,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that' that is a depiction of the weirdness

796
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:10,920
Speaker 3: I'm talking about.

797
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 1: How do you call you take that? How do you

798
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 1: even get that from that?

799
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 2: So what do you that little tiny thing?

800
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:20,080
Speaker 3: So what do you How are you treating people and

801
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 3: the earth like we're supposed to be hands and feet? Yeah,

802
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:28,400
Speaker 3: and we are not reflective at all, and we're losing people,

803
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:29,520
Speaker 3: we're losing.

804
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 1: We are we are and I was I have spoke

805
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 1: about it.

806
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,480
Speaker 4: A woman evolved and I said, you know, it got

807
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 4: to the point where, like even my podcast, I was like,

808
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:39,920
Speaker 4: I want to rebrand everything else that's getting too turchy.

809
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,840
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to just be me, because.

810
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 4: Like, if y'all gonna ridicule me and criticize me, I

811
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 4: might as well just be me and like not even

812
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 4: like try, you know, and.

813
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 1: Not try to be authentically exactly.

814
00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 4: That's crazy, You're literally because I told him, I I

815
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 4: feel like I'm not I'm losing myself. I was like,

816
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,279
Speaker 4: because I'm like, I know who I am, I know

817
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,800
Speaker 4: what I believe, and I'm trying to tell you guys,

818
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 4: this is where I am, so that people who are

819
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 4: not quite there or maybe like further behind than I am,

820
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 4: they need to get to where I am can know that,

821
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:12,560
Speaker 4: Oh I.

822
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 1: Got somewhere, I can start, you know, like that's we're

823
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:16,399
Speaker 1: all supposed to be that.

824
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 4: Yeah.

825
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,400
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my goodness.

826
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:20,680
Speaker 4: And I was like, you know what I call the craft.

827
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 4: I'm never talking about dating again. I was like, I'm

828
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:25,320
Speaker 4: not going to talk about this. This this I was like,

829
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,799
Speaker 4: because people just act like they have never lived. I

830
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 4: was like, they've been saints their entire life. And I

831
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 4: was like, I can't do it. So I told my team.

832
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 4: I was like listen, I was like I want to.

833
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 4: I was like, bring on, Ghunna.

834
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 1: I said, I want everybody.

835
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:40,680
Speaker 4: I said, I want my plate, my podcast to be

836
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 4: honestly can bring something something because everybody has a story.

837
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,799
Speaker 2: Everybody everybody has a story, and you can't be one

838
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 2: dimensional and the people that you that you bring on.

839
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, yep, I have everybody out here welcoming because I

840
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 4: said I wanted that is more like Christ to invite everybody.

841
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:01,880
Speaker 1: I want everybody.

842
00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 4: I can still be who I am and hopefully when

843
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 4: you leave the sofa, you're inspired to be like hey,

844
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 4: let me But.

845
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 2: How how strong is your faith if you can't be

846
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:10,320
Speaker 2: around and talk.

847
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:12,800
Speaker 1: To people but don't believe you exactly?

848
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 2: That's how I feel.

849
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, for sure?

850
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 2: How strong is it?

851
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 3: Yes that you we're gonna you're gonna lose it from

852
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 3: one conversation, right, You're gonna lose it?

853
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: Yeah at all?

854
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:27,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I'm so glad. I mean, I get it,

855
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 3: though there are times I want to delete all.

856
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,239
Speaker 2: I'm all I'm on is Instagram. I can't.

857
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 3: I can't do the Twitter, Twitter and ticket talking. I

858
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:37,839
Speaker 3: can't do all of that.

859
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:41,319
Speaker 2: I sound so old, but there are times I wanted to.

860
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 1: Delete the app. Same I do a little fast because

861
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: it's too much.

862
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:48,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do that as well. I also have set

863
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:53,360
Speaker 3: boundaries for myself. If I decide to venture into the comments,

864
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 3: I don't do it past because you can see how

865
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 3: many hours old something is, So I don't do it

866
00:42:58,760 --> 00:42:59,879
Speaker 3: past like three.

867
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 1: Okay, that's good. I never thought about that. That's good.

868
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like that's enough.

869
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I mean, I allow myself to read the

870
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 3: comments at times, because there are times in which the

871
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 3: comments bless me.

872
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

873
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know to know that my reason for being

874
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 3: on the platform. Yeah, initially was to spile my kids,

875
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:25,839
Speaker 3: but I recognize what the platform affords me. Yes, and

876
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 3: so I want to be inspiration. I want to be encouragement.

877
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 3: I want to show that you can be saved, love God,

878
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:43,240
Speaker 3: love Jesus, and dance, Yeah, fun and fail.

879
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 2: That's what I want to show.

880
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 1: And you do that. You do that very well.

881
00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:51,919
Speaker 4: Like I love when you're while watch your workout videos

882
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:53,799
Speaker 4: and you're dancing and I'm like.

883
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 3: It's like some people have a problem with the fact

884
00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 3: that I just don't work out the Christian music seeing

885
00:43:58,120 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 3: then that.

886
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:01,240
Speaker 1: I can't.

887
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 4: Now there's some days where I might just play the

888
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 4: whole Every City album.

889
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 2: Days where I'm like, we praise the worshiping today.

890
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,960
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, some days.

891
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,200
Speaker 2: Like it's like because.

892
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 6: I'm not coming, I don't want to be in the

893
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 6: gym anyway, right and so but it's like, and I'm

894
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:26,280
Speaker 6: so thankful to my parents that they raised me around

895
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 6: all genres and mine too.

896
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:31,800
Speaker 3: I'm mindful of what I let into my spirit just depending.

897
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 2: On where I'm at for sure.

898
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 3: But it's like you're gonna judge me, and you're gonna

899
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:41,959
Speaker 3: judge if I'm saved or not based off of based

900
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 3: off of come on, yeah.

901
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:45,479
Speaker 2: You heard that be Drop.

902
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 1: Yes, he.

903
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 2: Gets me through.

904
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,240
Speaker 1: Listen. I love your video.

905
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 3: So now I'm like, if it's hard, I'm not gonna

906
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 3: act like it's not.

907
00:44:58,040 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 2: But I have been able to get to a place

908
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,359
Speaker 2: if you're not in my circle, mm hmm.

909
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 3: Matter it is because it does. Social media opens you

910
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:16,399
Speaker 3: up to everybody's a critic. Everybody has opinions. Yeah, and

911
00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,400
Speaker 3: you know some of that if you're gonna have your

912
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,840
Speaker 3: comment songs. People are people are going to comment. Yeah, yeah, no,

913
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:23,760
Speaker 3: that's so true.

914
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 1: That's so true.

915
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 4: So you work out what else does Tammy do for Tammy?

916
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 4: Like in your free time when it's just you, what

917
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 4: are things that you enjoy to do?

918
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,360
Speaker 2: Sometimes I go and I volunteer.

919
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 3: Okay, volunteering has helped to keep me grounded. We have

920
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:49,920
Speaker 3: an amazing organizations within our city that I love and support,

921
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:53,200
Speaker 3: and I get to go in there and just serve

922
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 3: and not be served.

923
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 2: I think it's important in life to intentionally.

924
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 3: Especially if you are in a place of always being served.

925
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 3: So it's so important to be in a place where

926
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,360
Speaker 3: you're being a service to someone else.

927
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 2: That you can't get anything back. You may not get

928
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:13,839
Speaker 2: a thank you, you won't get paid for it. They're

929
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:14,799
Speaker 2: not going to park your.

930
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 3: Car like that. That's that's important. I'm also now that

931
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 3: I have more time on my hands and empty nested

932
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 3: and going through my own therapy journey, I'm recognizing as

933
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 3: a child there were times a lot of times that

934
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:40,840
Speaker 3: I experienced great trauma and I should have had canceling wow,

935
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 3: and but back then it just wasn't It wasn't a

936
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 3: thing and so I am we shared on the episode

937
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 3: I did on Oprah's Behind the Man.

938
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 2: I love that my mother's story was able to be shared.

939
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 2: And my mother story is one of domestic abuse. Why

940
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:07,600
Speaker 2: was that kid who was in the room of a

941
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 2: domestic abuse? And so the the organizations that I am

942
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 2: partnering with now I'm loving because it is helping the

943
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 2: woman but also the child.

944
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 1: Yes, that's so important, and that's that's so important. What

945
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 1: what organization is that?

946
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 3: Genesis Women's Shelter is an organization. There is an organization, Oh,

947
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 3: Child of Hormones, dang it, but it is specifically yeah,

948
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,799
Speaker 3: and I'm so excited to be a part of that.

949
00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:48,800
Speaker 3: There are the organizations called Bouch's House.

950
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:55,319
Speaker 2: When it comes to women with sex trafficking, I know

951
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 2: it is not It ain't my ministry to.

952
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:07,400
Speaker 3: Try to help reform them. I love helping people and

953
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,919
Speaker 3: mothers encouraging. You have got to let your daughters talk,

954
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 3: You got to let them be real. That's when they

955
00:48:14,120 --> 00:48:17,600
Speaker 3: get in trouble because you didn't. You didn't allow us

956
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 3: safe space. Especially get mad at me, but I don't care.

957
00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:23,759
Speaker 2: Especially.

958
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,759
Speaker 3: I mean, it can happen in any household, but for

959
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 3: some reason, in Christian households, there are subjects that are taboo. Yeah,

960
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:35,319
Speaker 3: and she may be struggling and she cannot come and

961
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 3: talk to you, and now she's in trouble. It doesn't

962
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 3: mean that every girl is going to get trafficked because

963
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:42,800
Speaker 3: of that, but there there is a reason and why

964
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 3: in which there was not safety. And so that's the

965
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 3: part of that organization that I like going to the

966
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 3: moms and saying, hey, open up, like frequent communication.

967
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 2: With honest dialogue.

968
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:02,400
Speaker 3: But yeah, those are the things that and I like

969
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 3: to I love to dance. I love to dance sometimes,

970
00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 3: and I learned that in therapy. She was like, do

971
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:11,720
Speaker 3: something that you enjoy that it's simple, that does.

972
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:12,480
Speaker 2: Not require much.

973
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I love music, so I've been like literally

974
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 3: implementing it. And there was a one day I was

975
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,800
Speaker 3: just dancing around.

976
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 2: I was it went from you know, Beyonce to CC.

977
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,560
Speaker 3: And there was this one particular song that came on

978
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:39,680
Speaker 3: that brought out a worship than me and a cry

979
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:45,160
Speaker 3: in me that I think music is powerful like that

980
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 3: it is, and so I'm glad that she's encouraged me

981
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:53,359
Speaker 3: to tap back into something so very very simple there.

982
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:57,719
Speaker 3: You know, tears are cleansing, and oftentimes we shut them off.

983
00:49:58,960 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 2: Because we don't want to feel.

984
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:02,839
Speaker 1: Yep, oh that was me for a very long time.

985
00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 2: We don't want to feel. We don't want to and

986
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:10,680
Speaker 2: and once the tears starts falling, yeah, we don't want

987
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:12,359
Speaker 2: to deal. We don't want to feel it. We don't

988
00:50:12,360 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 2: want to deal.

989
00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:20,399
Speaker 3: And girl, I think I must have rolled around. I laugh,

990
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:22,440
Speaker 3: because when I looked at myself in the mirror, I

991
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 3: was like, you know, James video, James.

992
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 2: Brown coming up with the hair said ma'am, you needed

993
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:38,320
Speaker 2: that cry and you needed that worship and that time alone. Girl,

994
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:43,359
Speaker 2: I cried, I screamed, I let out a scream, and

995
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:46,120
Speaker 2: I'm like, then I go to therapy and she's like,

996
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 2: let's talk about what do you.

997
00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 1: Think it was?

998
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 2: What are you releasing? You need your body. One of

999
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 2: the things I've learned.

1000
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 3: About therapy is there may be things that you don't recall.

1001
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 3: There may be ways in which your body protected you.

1002
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:02,760
Speaker 2: Your brain.

1003
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:04,800
Speaker 1: Your brain is so powerful.

1004
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:06,800
Speaker 3: It's so powerful when I look at us gods protecting

1005
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 3: as well. Yeah, but what she told me is your

1006
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:12,719
Speaker 3: body remembers. Oh yeah, and so when you're put back

1007
00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:16,400
Speaker 3: into the same environment, you're like you're like, what's happening?

1008
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 3: And that's what was you know, like I said, started

1009
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,360
Speaker 3: with me with therapy in the first.

1010
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 2: You know, I was like getting triggered.

1011
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:30,040
Speaker 3: Like I was like like, but yeah, music, music is

1012
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:33,279
Speaker 3: one of those I would say, just private moments that

1013
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:33,719
Speaker 3: I have.

1014
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was telling Kirk when he came.

1015
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 4: When I was a kid, I used to listen to

1016
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:40,200
Speaker 4: Hold Me Now, and that's like when I was having

1017
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,680
Speaker 4: suicidal thoughts, I literally would like sit in my room

1018
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,760
Speaker 4: and just cry and I could just like feel guys

1019
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:49,640
Speaker 4: embrace and and it's now it's.

1020
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 1: Tasha Cobbs put a praise on it. There is something

1021
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 1: about that.

1022
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:56,880
Speaker 2: Song, baby, that song. And she has another one with

1023
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 2: Chandler Moore.

1024
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Feel the Room his new.

1025
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:05,319
Speaker 4: Album It is listen to drop Me Crazy because I

1026
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:10,200
Speaker 4: listen to me and she is annoying.

1027
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:18,279
Speaker 1: She's special. She is she really really is. So that voice, man,

1028
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,720
Speaker 1: just see who she is. She's just she's special.

1029
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:22,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, but they won't they have me on the floor,

1030
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 4: Like how you was on the floor getting that on

1031
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 4: the floor. I was like, I don't know what it

1032
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:31,759
Speaker 4: is because you're thinking of the goodness of God.

1033
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, man, Yeah.

1034
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 4: When I talk to my friends who don't really have

1035
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 4: that strong foundation of faith, I'm like, I just don't

1036
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 4: understand it, because for me, it's like and the things

1037
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:46,840
Speaker 4: He's brought me through and how good he's me, And

1038
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 4: I'm like, do you think you did this on your own?

1039
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:50,839
Speaker 1: Because there's no way.

1040
00:52:52,600 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 3: Those that think they have done it on their own,

1041
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:55,760
Speaker 3: they're sadly mistaken.

1042
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:56,839
Speaker 1: They are they.

1043
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 3: Don't even know, and they may not even belie lead.

1044
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 1: But God's still making ways. Yes he is, Tammy. This

1045
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 1: has been amazing. Is there anything that you want to

1046
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,640
Speaker 1: let the people know that you're working on or anything

1047
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 1: we need to stay tuned in for besides the book?

1048
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:22,439
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. I mean a lot of what I'm

1049
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:26,520
Speaker 2: working on is me. I love that that's a good project,

1050
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 2: a good projecting project, and I'm open to whatever that evolves.

1051
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:32,479
Speaker 2: I've always been.

1052
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:36,839
Speaker 3: I think one of the things which I've been able

1053
00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:40,120
Speaker 3: to compliment my husband on, and this has been a

1054
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,360
Speaker 3: complimented of me, is that I don't have to be

1055
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 3: the things I do don't have.

1056
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 2: To be shown.

1057
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:47,840
Speaker 4: Wow, that's good and I'm okay with that, and I

1058
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,279
Speaker 4: feel like sometimes that's a good balance when you have

1059
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 4: someone who is in the spotlight and then has one.

1060
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:53,839
Speaker 1: Who's like, well, I'm good.

1061
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 4: I want my man to be like that, like somebody

1062
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:59,360
Speaker 4: who's like we have that balance where he's not chasing

1063
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 4: the light and he's like, babies, do you think I'm

1064
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:02,959
Speaker 4: good right here?

1065
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 3: And I mean I'm okay with and I think you

1066
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 3: know what it helps in with me is that I

1067
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 3: could take it or leave it.

1068
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you know you're comfortable with it, a little

1069
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:15,880
Speaker 2: television on the little radio.

1070
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not like craving, That's what I'm saying.

1071
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:26,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, because some people like I want it, Like there's.

1072
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:27,719
Speaker 2: This one project.

1073
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:30,359
Speaker 3: It hasn't been green light yet, but I love it

1074
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 3: because it infuses all that's me. I love it, and

1075
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 3: it's got some fitness in it, got some faith in it,

1076
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 3: and so.

1077
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 1: So I'm exciting for that. Fingers crossed. Yes, it's going

1078
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,359
Speaker 1: to have here. I can see it and I get

1079
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 1: to encourage people. I love it.

1080
00:54:45,239 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I'm excited about that possibility.

1081
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 2: I'll share that.

1082
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,320
Speaker 4: Yes, thank you, Thank you so much. Well, we're excited

1083
00:54:52,400 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 4: for everything you have come in. I want to continue

1084
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:59,080
Speaker 4: to see your workout videos, hear more about your therapy journey.

1085
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:01,520
Speaker 1: I think people need to hear more about who you

1086
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 1: want to share.

1087
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:04,239
Speaker 4: More about that, Yeah, because I'm telling you, like, it's

1088
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:06,760
Speaker 4: been very inspiring for me even just watching you, following

1089
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 4: you on social media.

1090
00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, I just love this woman. Like everything you

1091
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:12,879
Speaker 1: do just a light and I think more people.

1092
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:14,759
Speaker 4: I know there's certain things you want to just kind

1093
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 4: of hold close, but I think you should.

1094
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 1: People want to see you.

1095
00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,359
Speaker 4: Okay, Yeah, and I love how you've even doing more.

1096
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,040
Speaker 4: You've been on more panels, yeah, doing more speaking stuff.

1097
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 1: So yeah, a little more, just a little bit, you

1098
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:28,560
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Just whatever you're comfortable with.

1099
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,279
Speaker 4: But yeah, I feel like there's a boy that needs

1100
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:33,000
Speaker 4: to be filled with timmy.

1101
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:36,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you.

1102
00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 3: You're saying. What I hear you saying is that I

1103
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:43,279
Speaker 3: can step into.

1104
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:45,440
Speaker 2: The evolution.

1105
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:51,239
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, yeah and be open. Yeah, because there's been

1106
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:52,480
Speaker 4: endless possibilities.

1107
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:54,920
Speaker 2: I'm open. The only thing is it has to be

1108
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 2: authentically me.

1109
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:58,920
Speaker 1: Yep, exactly. I'm telling you, get not want.

1110
00:55:58,800 --> 00:55:59,440
Speaker 2: Any part of it?

1111
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:01,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, good, what's thing?

1112
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:03,279
Speaker 2: Well, thank you, thank you for having it. I'm so

1113
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 2: proud of you.

1114
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 1: I'm broddy, I'm so proud, thank you. I love you.

1115
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:08,239
Speaker 1: I love you too, Thank you so much.

1116
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 4: There is so much I picked up from my one

1117
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 4: on one with Tammy Franklin today, But one of the

1118
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:19,840
Speaker 4: things that sticks out the most is it is never

1119
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,480
Speaker 4: too late for therapy. There is such a big stigma

1120
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 4: around therapy and when you should start or if you

1121
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:27,880
Speaker 4: should even do it, because some people just feel like

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Speaker 4: they're too far removed from the situation or whatever may

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Speaker 4: have caused trauma. But I think the main thing that

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Speaker 4: really stood out today is that guys, it is never

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Speaker 4: too late to seek health and there's nothing wrong with it.

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Speaker 4: I can't thanks Tammy enough for sobbing by today and

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Speaker 4: keeping it positive as always.

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Speaker 1: I'm so thankful you join me as well.

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Speaker 4: You can always join in on the conversations that we

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Speaker 4: have here on the show by following me on all

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00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 4: social media platforms at love Chris Ornee, and you can

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00:56:57,600 --> 00:57:00,640
Speaker 4: also follow our show and keep it positive, sweet If

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00:57:00,680 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 4: you want to write into our Positive Outcome listener letter,

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Speaker 4: you can send us an email to Keep it Positivesweete

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Speaker 4: at gmail dot com. In the meantime, in between time,

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Speaker 4: y'all already know what to do. Keep it positive, sweetie,

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Speaker 4: I'll see you next time,