1 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:08,879 Speaker 1: Hello, sminthy listeners. This is Emily, and this is and 2 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: this is stuff I'm never told you, and we are 3 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 1: excited to talk through a topic that I know gets 4 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 1: be and I riled up over here, and I think 5 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: everyone and I've talked to you about this has something 6 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 1: to say. We're talking about the connection between feminism and 7 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,680 Speaker 1: your hair on the top of your head, So we 8 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: are talking about the politics of hair, hairstyles, hair length, 9 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 1: all kinds of hair conversations will be had today, and 10 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: we're really interested to continue this conversation. I know Ceing C. 11 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: Christman Caroline did tackle some of these topics under an 12 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: episode that's fantastic around curly hair and also an episode 13 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: specifically about black hair story sort of the history of 14 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,400 Speaker 1: black hair, and those are topics we are going to 15 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 1: touch upon today. But really we want to make that 16 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 1: connection between your personal political beliefs and your hairstyle. I 17 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 1: think I want to start by giving you a little 18 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 1: feedback into what our hair looks like. Emily, what does 19 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,480 Speaker 1: your hair look like? So I am currently rocking what 20 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:28,040 Speaker 1: I consider a pretty fierce pixie um and I bleach 21 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: the heck out of my hair once a month to 22 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: make it pretty platinumsh blonde, and at the moment, I'm 23 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 1: I'm I'm fading out a little bit of a Mermaid 24 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: hair experiment that I did, so I have some green 25 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,480 Speaker 1: and blue and maybe a little bit of pink in 26 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: my hair right now. It looks good. We'll put a 27 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 1: picture in the show now, Okay, great, we will definitely 28 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: be doing that because I was very proud of my 29 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: Mermaid hair. And how about to um, I'm rocking a 30 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 1: long Marley twist inspired by Solange Knowles. Um, it's great 31 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: for a galama go. And Solange has a lot to 32 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: say about hair. She does. She has a lot to 33 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 1: sing about hair. So let's take it back for a second. 34 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: Because I was fascinated to realize that hair has long 35 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 1: been political hair for women in particular, um, starting primarily 36 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: if we want to keep it relatively modern, from the 37 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 1: liberated women of the nineteen twenties. I read this great 38 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:26,840 Speaker 1: article on Huffington Post by re Re Raquette, a hair 39 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: stylist and badass feminist, who says that when women in 40 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: the nineteen twenties chopped their hair short and got that 41 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:40,360 Speaker 1: sort of androgynous flapper fashion moment, that short hair was 42 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 1: a reflection of the culture of the times and a 43 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: reflection of the start to the women's liberation movement. Really 44 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 1: totally into it. Seems like chopping off your hair as 45 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,519 Speaker 1: a woman is always sort of signified this kind of rebellious, 46 00:02:56,600 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: devil make hair like kind of attitude throughout the It's 47 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:04,560 Speaker 1: so the opposite of like classical Romanesque Adam and Eve 48 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:10,240 Speaker 1: depictions of what long, flowing, beautiful feminine hair should potentially 49 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,919 Speaker 1: look like. And then we get to the nineteen seventies 50 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: and sixties, we've got both long hippie yoko on no 51 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 1: style hair. My mom was such a flower child. She 52 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 1: had hair down to her behind. She long natural brown 53 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 1: long hair. And my mom was born and raised in Columbia, 54 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: South America, so she was rocking this sort of hippie 55 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: you know, half Latina. Look, your mom sounds gorgeous. My 56 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 1: mom is gorgeous. I was amazing. So the long hair 57 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: of the hippie movement feels like it was part of 58 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: that flowing free love. It like almost is a physical 59 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: manifestation totally. It's like you're you're sort of wearing the 60 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,040 Speaker 1: you know, the times on your head and the kind 61 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 1: of way right like women are sort of liberated and 62 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 1: free and so like they're sort of representing that on 63 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: their hair. Yeah, it's it's also very low main, it's 64 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: like dirty in some ways. There's definitely a grungy look 65 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: to it where it's like woodstock es. And then we 66 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: get all the way to the nine eighties with punks 67 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: rocking their mohawks and nineties, right, we've got that heroin 68 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 1: chic kind of stringy look happening and and uh em 69 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:24,559 Speaker 1: thinking Kate Moss in the center part was interesting. Look, 70 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,679 Speaker 1: it was yeah that I totally pardoned my hair straight 71 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: down the middle and try to keep it as straight 72 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 1: as possible down to the side, posh spice like before 73 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: she was known as Victoria Beckham. Um, but it's you know, 74 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: it's just interesting even they say re Rehear writes in 75 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 1: is my hair style a feminist statement? She says the 76 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:49,720 Speaker 1: dip die a k a. The bolliage movement from more 77 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: recent years reflects a need for women to spend longer 78 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: times between hair appointments due to a reduction in luxury spending, 79 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: which to me, I can't tell if that makes sense. 80 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: Is that a stretch like isn't bolyage or also a 81 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: fashion trend or is it a financial reflection? I mean, 82 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: that's such a good question. I mean I think that 83 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: certainly hair choices and hairstyles reflect a sort of economic times. 84 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,720 Speaker 1: But I also think it's one of those things that 85 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: like it could just be a trend, right, Like it 86 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,280 Speaker 1: could just be like this is how people wear their hair. Yeah, 87 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: And I think that's really the crux of today's conversation 88 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 1: is how much can we read into a woman's hairstyle 89 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:31,039 Speaker 1: and is it fair? Is it fair to judge someone's 90 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 1: level of feminism or wokeness based on what they're racking 91 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: in terms of locks on the top of their head. 92 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 1: And I think today we want to really focus on 93 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 1: the modern considerations of how you do your hair and 94 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,359 Speaker 1: what that might say about you, and if it's even fair, 95 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 1: really doesn't say anything right or do it has? Maybe 96 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with with your feminist political beliefs. 97 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 1: So let's talk a little bit about one article I 98 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 1: found really compelling here on the post Trump cut. Did 99 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,839 Speaker 1: you see that? I did see that. So what this 100 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: is is just like after a bad breakup, you sometimes 101 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,359 Speaker 1: you I mean, if you've ever seen any kind of 102 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: like roumantic comedy. You've seen this scene where she's finally 103 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 1: jumped this awful boyfriend or he's dumped her, and then 104 00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 1: she cuts her hair because you know, she's just like 105 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: done with this, she's ready for a change. Um, you know, 106 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: cutting off those locks, whole new her. UM. I'm thinking 107 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: of examples from popular culture. If you watch the last 108 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: season her Real Housewives, UM jewels when she gets a divorce, 109 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: she has she's known for her like long blowing hair, 110 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: and then at the reunion after she's divorced, she's a 111 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 1: pixie guy. Seen this. Um. So basically this is the 112 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: same idea, but with Trump. So a lot of women 113 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: reported um getting these short haircuts after Trump won the election. 114 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 1: And so there's a really funny bit in the article 115 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,480 Speaker 1: where a woman goes to like a hairstylist and she's like, 116 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: you Trump, think the opposite when when the stylist asked, 117 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: what do you want from your style? UM? I thought 118 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: that was telling and it's ironic. So we're talking about 119 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: an article in New York Magazine which is called The Cut, 120 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 1: by the way, So it's it's such a meta it's 121 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: such a meta article. But there you know, this is 122 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: all anecdotal too. We're hearing from Salon's in d C 123 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 1: in particular that there's been a significant uptick in last 124 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: minute bookings after the election to make drastics sweeping changes 125 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: to your look, similar to how when you feel like 126 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:41,200 Speaker 1: your life is going through a major structural overhaul, through 127 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: a big breakup or something of that nature, there's this 128 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: um grasping at what you can control, what is in 129 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 1: your power, what you have agency over. And I think 130 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: this is telling right. We have a woman quoted in 131 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: this article who lives in d C. She's an Atlanta 132 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 1: Natives forty five years old. A to the November eight 133 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 1: election upset, Evans fell into a downward spiral. Quote I 134 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 1: cried for three days end quote. I felt quote again, 135 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:11,840 Speaker 1: I felt like it was the worst thing politically that 136 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 1: ever happened in my lifetime. It was catastrophic. By Friday, 137 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: she noticed Gray's growing in, so she put on her 138 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,119 Speaker 1: big girl panties and dragged herself to the drug store. 139 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:26,400 Speaker 1: Literally without thinking, I grabbed the natural black box by Garnier. 140 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: She says, I was like effort. The election deadened my soul. 141 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:34,440 Speaker 1: I think I wanted to do something defined to feel stronger. 142 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 1: So she dyes her hair black and goes goth and 143 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,680 Speaker 1: now she's rocking it. She loves it. And so listeners, 144 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: you might be thinking that sounds so extra and so dramatic. 145 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 1: Remember where you felt, you know, the day the election 146 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: like that? To me, that sound I mean like it 147 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: might sound kind of over the top and sort of 148 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,160 Speaker 1: like dramatic, But I think that makes so much sense. 149 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 1: Where you know you can control how you present to 150 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: the world in some ways that I think that you know, 151 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 1: grasping out a way to sort of make a change, 152 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: to sort of take ownership over that I'm going to 153 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,320 Speaker 1: own how I present in the world in this way. 154 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,360 Speaker 1: And even though it can be a really small thing 155 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 1: with just changing your hair color, um, it can really 156 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: kind of change your whole outlook on your situation. Yeah, 157 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: and it's also so very it feels like a very 158 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,120 Speaker 1: millennial thing because we were all taught that, you know, 159 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 1: independent streaks are cool and that it's all about you 160 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: and personalizing your life is part of I think a 161 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: very key component to Jen Why is that idea of 162 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: like identity and personalization and your uniqueness and so in 163 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: in sort of desiring to be more unique, I think 164 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 1: owning your own style and presentation, especially from the hair 165 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: in the hair department, can really help you take that 166 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: agency back in your life. And that certainly was true 167 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:55,560 Speaker 1: for me when I cut off eleven inches of my 168 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 1: brown hair to go to transition into pixie Land, which 169 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 1: by the way, is great, wonderful and happy place. I 170 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:05,559 Speaker 1: love having a pixie um. The power of pixie is 171 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: a total thing. So when I did that, it coincided 172 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:12,200 Speaker 1: with me starting bossed up, starting my own company. What 173 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: is interesting is that it did not coincide with a 174 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:19,679 Speaker 1: change in my relationship. So I actually fell in love 175 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 1: with Ma Mayan when I had long, flowing brown hair 176 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 1: and then cut off eleven inches, And it was the 177 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,680 Speaker 1: first time in my life I was like, I'm not 178 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 1: going to really I'm not. First of all, I didn't 179 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: ask his permission. Can I say, I have so many 180 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: questions that will derail this conversation in many way? Maybe, Okay, 181 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: let's let's take a quick break. I think now would 182 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: be a good time for quick break because we are 183 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: going to talk about long long versus short. I think 184 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 1: long versus short is a big, big debate in the 185 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,920 Speaker 1: modern hair politics. So we'll be right back and we're 186 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: going to dive into the Pixie power in just a 187 00:10:53,840 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: moment of first here's a word from our sponsors, and 188 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 1: we are back. And b has so many questions, questions 189 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: for me and I, So just just as a reminder 190 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,200 Speaker 1: where we left off, we I just admitted to the 191 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 1: fact that I cut off eleven inches of my hair 192 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: and went pixie power, full pixie power after a year 193 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 1: of dating my my boo Brad, the boo um who 194 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: with whom I fell in love while rocking long, flowing, 195 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:34,400 Speaker 1: natural brown, curly hair. So fire away, but I know 196 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: you want to have a lot of one. Did he care? 197 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,360 Speaker 1: But did he? So? Did he? Just you left for 198 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: work one day you came back with a completely different look. 199 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: I informed him. He knew. I was like, so here's 200 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: what I'm gonna do. As long as Obama gets reelected. 201 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:52,640 Speaker 1: This is where we were at, No, was it? Yeah? 202 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: So it was twenty twelve, right, So as long as 203 00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 1: Obama gets reelected, I'm quitting my job. I'm starting a business, 204 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 1: and I'm cutting off my hair and I'm going to 205 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: celebrate the election that way because it was also to me, 206 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,199 Speaker 1: the last political election that I was going to be 207 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,720 Speaker 1: a full time political operative for so it felt like 208 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: a transitional phase career wise, and I was really determined 209 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,679 Speaker 1: to be brave and be courageous and dare to try 210 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,560 Speaker 1: to start something new like the company. It's almost exactly 211 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 1: like what you were just saying before, where it wasn't 212 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,440 Speaker 1: a romantic situation, but it was like a like, I 213 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,240 Speaker 1: need to make a bold change in my life and 214 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 1: I can control this aspect of my physical appearance, and 215 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,960 Speaker 1: I'm going to do that. It was symbolic and it 216 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,240 Speaker 1: was about courage. And I had always wanted to to 217 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 1: try on a pixie for size, but it feels really scary. 218 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 1: And I also thought, okay, I can donate to Locks 219 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: for Love, so that this is like, uh, there's like 220 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: more accountability when I said I'm going to do this, 221 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:53,160 Speaker 1: I'm going to donate my my hair and I'm gonna 222 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:57,120 Speaker 1: change my look and change my life. And so Brad 223 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 1: did have Brad notoriously has never really commented much on 224 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: my physical appearance. That's interesting. She has a real woke 225 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:09,600 Speaker 1: Bay ied to throw that no idea either that shag 226 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,320 Speaker 1: woke Bay who doesn't know how woke he is. Um. 227 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: But what's cool is that which was a little just 228 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,560 Speaker 1: like a little uncomfortable at first, because I was like, 229 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: come on, man, tell me how how I am? What's 230 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 1: up with that? You know, I'd have to I have 231 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,679 Speaker 1: to still ask for compliments when I'm really feeling I'm like, 232 00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: don't I look super fine tonight? And He'll be like yeah, always, 233 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 1: and that's it, you know, that's all I hear from him. 234 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 1: But the fact that he didn't comment on my hair 235 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,520 Speaker 1: at first meant that chopping it off to me felt 236 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: bold and independent. I wasn't relying on his approval, but 237 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,320 Speaker 1: it was certainly nerve racking and scary. And then a 238 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 1: couple of months later, I said, you know, brown, my 239 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 1: natural brown hair is cool. I like it, but with 240 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: a pixie you can't see how fierce this short, choppy 241 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,839 Speaker 1: cut is. Let's diet, and I haven't dyed my hair 242 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,719 Speaker 1: in ten years. So if I'm going to diet, I'm 243 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 1: going to go all the way to the other end 244 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,320 Speaker 1: of the spectrum. And I went platinum blonde, and I 245 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 1: showed up with a crazy ass looking mohawk, like sitting 246 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 1: straight up in the air, and he was like all right, 247 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,440 Speaker 1: you know, like that was it, you know, he was 248 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 1: just like, all right, cool, you know, I could do 249 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,079 Speaker 1: whatever and he'll you know, he barely bats an eye. 250 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,440 Speaker 1: I love this. It's interesting, it's a little I love it. 251 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 1: I love him too. So I love this response. But 252 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 1: it was it was so my decision, my choice, my chap. 253 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 1: So I have another question. Do you feel like you 254 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: I don't even know how to phrase this when you 255 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 1: look in the mirror now with your pixie cut and 256 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 1: you were a platinum blue? Do you feel like you 257 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 1: look the way that you were meant to look like? 258 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,800 Speaker 1: Are you like this is me? You know who put 259 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 1: it perfectly as my friend you might know, Megan Lubin. 260 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 1: She she was the only one of the very early 261 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: people who didn't ask me like what the hell I 262 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 1: was thinking and if I was going crazy and having 263 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 1: like a Britney spears meltdown, shaved my head moment, which 264 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 1: a lot of people were like concerned. People were concerned, 265 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 1: And Luvin came up to me and said to me, 266 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: and these words stuck with me. She says, Emily, this 267 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,400 Speaker 1: is the hair that has been wanting to come out 268 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 1: of your head your whole life. This is you in person, you, 269 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 1: this is this is such a reflection of your personality 270 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 1: and I was like, I feel the same way, and 271 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,160 Speaker 1: that's the only reason I've kept this look for so long. 272 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,160 Speaker 1: I love that, so I have a like this is 273 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: the weirdest example. But I was once watching some like 274 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 1: v H one, like behind the Music and who is 275 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 1: the guy from the band Counting Crows with the dreadlocks, 276 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,880 Speaker 1: which is it's I don't know his name, but it's 277 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 1: its own like weird thing, which we'll get into later. Yes, 278 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 1: but um he talked about that like he once tried 279 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 1: on like a dreadlock wig or something, and then he 280 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 1: looked at himself in the mirror and was like, oh 281 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 1: my god, this is what I was meant to look like. 282 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 1: And of course it has its own like mixed bag 283 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: of weird cultural stuff, but like, I totally identified with 284 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 1: that where you see yourself reflected as like how you've 285 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,600 Speaker 1: always kind of felt inside and when you see that, 286 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 1: thinking like, this is it, this is what I've been 287 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 1: reaching for. It's weird too, because I like change more 288 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: than anything. I like change. So the short short hair 289 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 1: allows me to change it up every time I get 290 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 1: it cut just slightly enough to give me that vary 291 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,920 Speaker 1: ability that makes me that's you know, scratches that itch. 292 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 1: But what I noticed is that there was a distinct 293 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,400 Speaker 1: shift in the male gaze in the in the feedback 294 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: I was getting from men. And what we've seen in 295 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:13,080 Speaker 1: the articles written about this is that there's this great 296 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:18,800 Speaker 1: piece in Odyssey the Odyssey online where it's titled what 297 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: my haircut taught Me about Feminism? And this woman who 298 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,960 Speaker 1: chopped her hair off, long, long, beautiful red hair, she 299 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: chopped it off into a short pixie and there were 300 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 1: men in her life who literally said, why did you 301 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:36,760 Speaker 1: do that? You know? And there were women in her 302 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 1: life who said, you know that guys aren't going to 303 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 1: hit on you as much anymore. So these women had 304 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 1: internalized the sort of male gaze and were warning her. 305 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: They thought they were doing her favor, they were warning 306 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: her that she might not attract as many men. And 307 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 1: so this sort of like, first of all, this is 308 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:57,480 Speaker 1: this is there's also some heteronormative weirdness here, because hey, 309 00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 1: people thought pixie equals lesbian, like short hair equals gay, 310 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:08,239 Speaker 1: which is not not fair? Hello, like what really? And 311 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:11,400 Speaker 1: then two the guys that hit on me. I call 312 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 1: my pixie haircut the douchebag screen because when I cut 313 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:20,199 Speaker 1: my hair short, there was a very significant drop in 314 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: men who would hit on me, and yet the quality 315 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:27,360 Speaker 1: of the men who do hit on me has skyrocketed. 316 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,160 Speaker 1: Because I think it's like, so I have so much 317 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: to say about That's one. I think it's really interesting 318 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 1: that like the way that women go through the world, 319 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 1: like with the world, thinking that they kind of own 320 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 1: or have some sort of ownership over her body. And 321 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 1: I think that like we see that in all kinds 322 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 1: of ways. We see that through like legislation around women's issues, 323 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,960 Speaker 1: but we see it in these smaller ways to like 324 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,119 Speaker 1: with hair that like if you cut your hair, that 325 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,400 Speaker 1: men in your life would be like, oh, how could 326 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,199 Speaker 1: you do that. I have a friend who got a 327 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 1: breast production and that men told her the same thing, 328 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: and she's like, dude, a way that I exist in 329 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 1: the world is not does not exist to you know, 330 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,960 Speaker 1: please you? And I also, I mean, I love that 331 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 1: point about like the douchebag screen, right, I think the 332 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,639 Speaker 1: kind of guy who would hit on a woman with 333 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 1: really short hair in public, maybe it's the kind of 334 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,840 Speaker 1: guy who if we're gonna go with this idea that 335 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,880 Speaker 1: cutting your hair short could mean you know that you're 336 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,199 Speaker 1: taking ownership over your life or making some change the 337 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,879 Speaker 1: kind of guy who like it's like, oh, that's a 338 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,680 Speaker 1: kind of lady I want, right, Like that's interesting though 339 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:33,359 Speaker 1: it is, and there was a distinct change in the 340 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:38,159 Speaker 1: racial makeup. So I don't know, like there is not 341 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 1: enough research on next. But here's my very limited anecdotal evidence. 342 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:45,359 Speaker 1: And I do I did at the time. I was, 343 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: you know, I do live in d C when I 344 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,199 Speaker 1: made all these hair changes, and d C is a 345 00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,320 Speaker 1: very I think, multicultural city. You don't know, for a 346 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,359 Speaker 1: very long time, d C was called chocolate cities. Yes, 347 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:02,199 Speaker 1: true that except northwest d C doesn't always look like 348 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:08,000 Speaker 1: Latte c right, a little moca or something. So first 349 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 1: and foremost white boys did not hit on me like 350 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 1: they used to long hair brunette. All the white boys 351 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,240 Speaker 1: came to the yard, right, But this short Picksie Malek 352 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,359 Speaker 1: shake no no, no, no no, did not bring all 353 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,680 Speaker 1: the boys to the yard for stall. It definitely changed 354 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:27,280 Speaker 1: um to a more courageous man. And also the person 355 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: who's more likely to hit him me or give me compliments, 356 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:33,880 Speaker 1: male or female, tends to be black. And we're talking 357 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 1: about a short pixie haircut with an undercut, to which 358 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:39,920 Speaker 1: I think the undercut thing makes it a yeah. Maybe 359 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,399 Speaker 1: it's just like think about it. The black beauty and 360 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: black women have been rocking short hair allah re reef 361 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,359 Speaker 1: for a lot longer. Yeah, short hair. This is like 362 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:52,639 Speaker 1: when I was younger, there was this very very cool 363 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,120 Speaker 1: edgy thing or like if you were a black woman 364 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,720 Speaker 1: with very short hair, it was like the coolest. And 365 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:01,200 Speaker 1: there was a R and B music and Charlie Baltimore 366 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:07,639 Speaker 1: who was amazing. Um do you eve like sheet that 367 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 1: was like the ja early Tony Brack. That was like 368 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 1: a thing where like if you were a black woman 369 00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: like celebrity and you had super short hair, the thing 370 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,760 Speaker 1: that like in like you were seen as like the hip, 371 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 1: edgy like rebel, you know, and that was like like 372 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,320 Speaker 1: I remember my mom not letting me I mean I 373 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,400 Speaker 1: want I don't remember what the movie was, but not 374 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,760 Speaker 1: letting me go see a movie that had Jada Pinkin 375 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: in it because she was like, all you're gonna do 376 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 1: is like I want to chop your hair off, And 377 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,000 Speaker 1: that was a no no in my house, right, Like, Um, 378 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 1: that's interesting, I want to ask you more about that, 379 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 1: So let's let's go there. Why oh so, I mean, 380 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 1: I it's interesting so as you'll know, maybe you don't know, 381 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:55,200 Speaker 1: in Black communities, hair is a thing, right, Like when 382 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,719 Speaker 1: I grew up, like it was like I grew up 383 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 1: having sort of like very very long hair my whole life. 384 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 1: I kind of wore my hair like the late Aliyah 385 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 1: Rest in Peace, very long side part and in my house, 386 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,040 Speaker 1: like you just weren't allowed to cut your hair, like 387 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 1: it was, like it's such a big thing in Black communities. 388 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,679 Speaker 1: Like you know, for if a black woman cuts her 389 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 1: hair vay short, which is like when you go natural, 390 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,399 Speaker 1: a lot of times you have to. They call that 391 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 1: big chopping, but um, it's a it's a really heavy thing. 392 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:27,160 Speaker 1: And so when I was growing up, like I remember 393 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: when I went to college, I cut my hair into 394 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,280 Speaker 1: a bob and my mom was furious, furious, and she 395 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,920 Speaker 1: felt so she took get it such a personal upfront, 396 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,000 Speaker 1: right that, like you know, and she always likes to say, 397 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,719 Speaker 1: I don't even think this is really in the Bible, 398 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: but she always says this, like your hair is your 399 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: crown and glory. I think that's that might be like 400 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: a made up Bible boat like, well, we'll look into this, 401 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,200 Speaker 1: but I don't think it's really in there, but it's 402 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 1: this idea that like, if God has blessed you with 403 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:55,439 Speaker 1: like long hair, cutting it off as I got a 404 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 1: front to him. And I grew up with that my 405 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 1: whole life, and so I subsequently grew up like kind 406 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 1: of fantasizing about being one of these like rebel, badass 407 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:10,240 Speaker 1: black women like Allah Allah, Charlie Baltimore, you know, all 408 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: these women. And if you go back and watch, like 409 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,320 Speaker 1: these were the women who were like writing motorcycles, they 410 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,920 Speaker 1: were wearing like, you know, leather body suits and stuff 411 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 1: like they were like really fierce um and then you know, 412 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,359 Speaker 1: it's it's just a whole thing. And so I grew 413 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:28,399 Speaker 1: up with very complicated um issues around my hair as 414 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 1: a black woman, and it's just interesting to see how 415 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:34,679 Speaker 1: those play out in both feminism with rays with culture. 416 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 1: It's just it's it's just a thing, Like it's such 417 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 1: a big, you know, heavy, thorny thing, and for all women, 418 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,480 Speaker 1: I think so too. And we're going to dive into 419 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:49,800 Speaker 1: natural versus treated hair and black women's hair in a second, 420 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,639 Speaker 1: because I think that is such a huge part of 421 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:56,680 Speaker 1: the modern hair conundrums and the politics of hair right now, 422 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 1: but I want to I wanna sort of bring us 423 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,159 Speaker 1: back to what you're saying around this pressure that women 424 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 1: feel to please others with our whether it's mom or 425 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:11,840 Speaker 1: the male gaze, or misogyny at large right right, or 426 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: your boss. Because there is a clear message that I 427 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,400 Speaker 1: think uh women have received, which is that big hair, 428 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,280 Speaker 1: curly hair, natural hair is not always deemed appropriate. So 429 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,760 Speaker 1: there's a quote here from the Odyssey Online piece which says, 430 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,640 Speaker 1: which goes back to that woman who's experience with chopping 431 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,199 Speaker 1: her hair really short, I think really resonates with me. 432 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 1: Here she goes quote, they felt entitled to request that 433 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,520 Speaker 1: I change my image to visually please them. She's talking 434 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,879 Speaker 1: about the men who gave her negative feedback. It was 435 00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: not my personal preference or comfort that mattered to them, 436 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:51,359 Speaker 1: but rather my ability to mindlessly adapt to their standards. 437 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,880 Speaker 1: And there are so many standards that we now are 438 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,680 Speaker 1: dealing with. Whether it's like, here's what it means to 439 00:23:57,720 --> 00:24:01,159 Speaker 1: be awoke feminist, black awoke black feminist hears your hair 440 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,400 Speaker 1: should look like or from your mom, or from men 441 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:06,440 Speaker 1: in your life, for women in your life. So let's 442 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 1: dive into this component around natural hair. So I should 443 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 1: say I have natural hair. Um, I wear it right now. 444 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,199 Speaker 1: I mean I change it often, but I wear it 445 00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 1: in twists just for you know, ease and mobility because 446 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 1: I'm pretty busy these days. Um. I always like to 447 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,679 Speaker 1: tell people like people always ask why did you go natural? 448 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 1: And I think with black women it's this so our 449 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,679 Speaker 1: hair is so politicized, like hair is political, but for 450 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 1: black wo minutes ultra super duper political. And I think 451 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 1: that for me, you know a lot of people are like, 452 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,439 Speaker 1: you know, were you going through like a political or 453 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:48,480 Speaker 1: like social awakening, and so I kind of like, I 454 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,960 Speaker 1: kind of like lie about this. Right, So someone wants 455 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,400 Speaker 1: to be like, why did you go natural? I'll be like, oh, 456 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,199 Speaker 1: you know, I just felt like I needed to, you know, 457 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,320 Speaker 1: throw off the chains of the white beauty standards. That's 458 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,959 Speaker 1: a lie. The real story is that I was broke, right, Like, 459 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 1: having relaxed hair is expensive. It's very expensive. It's time consuming, 460 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,679 Speaker 1: it's expensive. I didn't have money im as a broke student, 461 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,600 Speaker 1: I didn't have money to go get you know, a 462 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,840 Speaker 1: relaxer every couple of weeks. You know, it's like a 463 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 1: hundred dollars maybe more. And so I basically was like 464 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,639 Speaker 1: I need to make a financial choice. So you know, 465 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,480 Speaker 1: it's seen as so political, and it is political and 466 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,080 Speaker 1: black communities I think, but like for me, it was 467 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 1: just a complete like it was not at all a 468 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,199 Speaker 1: political or social thing. It was just a choice that 469 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,359 Speaker 1: I made. When when did you make that choice? I 470 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: made this choice in it was right after college, so 471 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,760 Speaker 1: I was starting graduate school. That was the brokest I've 472 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,880 Speaker 1: ever been into my life. Graduate school, Like if you've 473 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 1: ever been a graduate student, you know what's up. And 474 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 1: also was very busy, right like black salons or sort 475 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,800 Speaker 1: of notorious for making you wait all day for like 476 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,119 Speaker 1: spending your whole saturday in a salon. And it was 477 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,199 Speaker 1: just one of those things where I was like, I 478 00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,640 Speaker 1: had so little free time that like, do I want 479 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,719 Speaker 1: to spend my entire saturday on my hair? Absolutely not. 480 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,639 Speaker 1: That's what Phoebe Robinson writes about in her great book 481 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 1: You Can't Touch My Hair. She says, I learned from 482 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,919 Speaker 1: my predominantly white classmates at the predominantly white school I 483 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,719 Speaker 1: went to for I think it was high school. She 484 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,439 Speaker 1: says that, you know, I learned that weekends were a 485 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,720 Speaker 1: thing that white people had that I didn't have, Like 486 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,439 Speaker 1: weekends were wrapped up in white privilege because at least 487 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: once a month, right, she spent her entire Saturday in 488 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:30,919 Speaker 1: the line. Yeah, that that resonates so much with my experience, 489 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:33,640 Speaker 1: Like when I was growing up, Saturday's where my mom 490 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,479 Speaker 1: would get up very early, like seven am, like when 491 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,200 Speaker 1: you're a kid, that's very early. We would drive down 492 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,879 Speaker 1: with like me and my mom, my cousins. Um. Sometimes 493 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 1: like some of her friends would go to the same 494 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: salon called God what was the name of that salon. 495 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,640 Speaker 1: I wish I could remember shout out to that salon. 496 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 1: I'm sure it's closed now, um, But yeah, we would 497 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 1: all drive down and we'd be there all day. And 498 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,320 Speaker 1: so part of me is like once a week, once 499 00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:58,560 Speaker 1: a week, once a week. So we would we would 500 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,200 Speaker 1: we would close salon with them, Like I remember, we'd 501 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:02,919 Speaker 1: be leaving and they would be like a locking up 502 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 1: and doesn't mean all. And you know what's interesting is 503 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,879 Speaker 1: that like it was you know, as a kid, I 504 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,560 Speaker 1: would have much rather have been like swimming or biking 505 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:14,080 Speaker 1: or whatever. But I do think that like those experiences, 506 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 1: I mean, it taught me the value of a community 507 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 1: of women, and so like I don't want to be like, 508 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,960 Speaker 1: oh my god, it was the worst thing ever, But like, yeah, 509 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:24,479 Speaker 1: it would have been nice to have a choice, to 510 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,199 Speaker 1: have a choice, and I never felt like I had 511 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,400 Speaker 1: a choice. I felt like like clockworks, Saturdays were getting 512 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 1: your hair done, Sundays were for church, So I really 513 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: didn't get weekends as a kid. And the other thing 514 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 1: that alarmed me when I was reading Phoebe's book that 515 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,680 Speaker 1: she sort of glossed over pretty quickly was that sweating 516 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 1: was not encouraged. Because when you get your hair done 517 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 1: once a week, which costs a lot of money and 518 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:50,520 Speaker 1: maybe it's treated to be straight, you sweat, you mess 519 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,359 Speaker 1: it up. So what does that mean about wedding is 520 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,280 Speaker 1: running around and being a kid? You can't, you don't, 521 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:00,240 Speaker 1: you don't. That becomes a sort of fraud thing. What's 522 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,360 Speaker 1: so interesting about this is that they've actually done studies 523 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,760 Speaker 1: and for black women that say that that can be 524 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,640 Speaker 1: connected to how often you work out and your fitness 525 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,960 Speaker 1: right that like, if you are concerned about your hair 526 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:15,600 Speaker 1: getting messed up, which black you have to be like, 527 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:17,800 Speaker 1: this is it's it's not that's not an unreasonable thing 528 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,040 Speaker 1: to be concerned about, but if you that may make 529 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,320 Speaker 1: you less likely to work out, to exercise, and that 530 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,520 Speaker 1: like you know, your physical help can suffer because of 531 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 1: this pressure that you feel um about your standard beauty standards. 532 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,560 Speaker 1: And it's so fraught because like, as black women, we 533 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:36,159 Speaker 1: are expected to adhere to these to these kind of 534 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: unrealistic beauty standards. So you really can't win. Yeah, it 535 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 1: sounds like a you know, damned if you did, damned 536 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 1: if you don't situation. But and it also we don't 537 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 1: want to say that if you do chemically treat your hair, 538 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:51,040 Speaker 1: or if you do spend every Saturday in the beauty parlor, 539 00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: that there's something wrong with you that makes you a 540 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:57,760 Speaker 1: bad feminist. Right. There are totally legit reasons, and there's 541 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 1: also just the arbitrary like that's what you love reason, 542 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:04,440 Speaker 1: which is valid valid. Biggest pet peeve is this idea 543 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,719 Speaker 1: that if a black woman has a we've has you know, 544 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,120 Speaker 1: straightened hair, because I had straightened hair for most of 545 00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,600 Speaker 1: my life, Like me, going natural has been a recent thing. 546 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: You know that you're not woke, that you're not with it, 547 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,040 Speaker 1: that you're not political. Right. I see a lot of 548 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 1: like really awful memes on social media that are like, oh, 549 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:24,760 Speaker 1: black women didn't get weaves, then oppression would stop. And 550 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,680 Speaker 1: it's like, no, I don't think one woman her choice 551 00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,600 Speaker 1: to like have a certain hairstyle. It's like, what's the 552 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:33,400 Speaker 1: dueling worldwide global oppression? I think it might be other things, sure, 553 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,040 Speaker 1: And it's also not on black women to solve the 554 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,520 Speaker 1: problem with how other people perceive let us, let us 555 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 1: wear our hair. Gott so I I love what Phoebe 556 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,959 Speaker 1: Robinson has to say about this. You should definitely pick 557 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,680 Speaker 1: up her book if you haven't already. She is a 558 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: notorious hair experiment er. She's always changing up her look. 559 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,880 Speaker 1: She's she's done gone natural, She's had dreads, she's had 560 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 1: straightened hair. She says, she just likes it right. There's 561 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,960 Speaker 1: an element of whatever you want your personal style to 562 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,640 Speaker 1: be is fine. And one of the chapters of her 563 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,360 Speaker 1: books she walks through sort of the modern history of 564 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 1: black hair in the public eye in pop culture and 565 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:13,880 Speaker 1: what I what I love about your story and you 566 00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,480 Speaker 1: sharing the secret of how you might sometimes lie a 567 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 1: little bit about why you went natural? Is what she 568 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: has to say about Janet Jackson's poetic justice Braids and 569 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 1: Lenny Kravitz, is are you going to go My way? Dreads? 570 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,560 Speaker 1: A Lah. She says, I'm grouping Janet's braids and Lenny's 571 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,200 Speaker 1: dreads together because they both fall under the quote stay 572 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:39,480 Speaker 1: woke category. For the uninitiated, stay woke is when a 573 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,960 Speaker 1: black person is informed of the world's injustices and how 574 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 1: those injustices affect the black community, and then they let 575 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:51,320 Speaker 1: everybody know that they are informed. Sometimes I'm woken. Staying 576 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 1: woke memo is as simple as a person changing their 577 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,160 Speaker 1: name to something more afrocentric or wearing bow ties in 578 00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:01,280 Speaker 1: kent a cloth. Other times you're clued into their wokeness 579 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 1: by the frequency with which they like candles and incense 580 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 1: all over their crib, like Angela Bassett did in the 581 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,760 Speaker 1: Buddhist praying scene. And what's love got to do with it? 582 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,000 Speaker 1: I have so much to say about that. So, first 583 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,280 Speaker 1: of all, Phoebe is like basically calling me out here. 584 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,080 Speaker 1: I was that I was that kind of person for 585 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: a while, and so now y'all know that I would 586 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,680 Speaker 1: have went natural, not out of wokeness. But then when 587 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 1: I did go natural, I did go through a weird 588 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,840 Speaker 1: phase where I felt like I had to be like 589 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:31,200 Speaker 1: more more informed. So I definitely like I bought a 590 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,719 Speaker 1: lot of like this is embarrassing. I bought a lot 591 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 1: of like a really long Maxi skirts because I thought 592 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:40,040 Speaker 1: that's what like woke women wore. I definitely like lit 593 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,960 Speaker 1: incense and I definitely, I mean, I went through that phase. 594 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 1: And it's funny. I mean, like I do think that 595 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,480 Speaker 1: with that hair stuff, it's like what Spider Man says, 596 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 1: with respon with great power, it comes great responsibility with Yeah, 597 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:54,680 Speaker 1: I mean, and I felt that way. I think that 598 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:56,760 Speaker 1: I didn't think a lot of I think that Phoebe 599 00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 1: nails it right that like you do feel this like 600 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 1: pressure to look informed with it woke all of that. 601 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 1: When you have a certain hairstyle as a black woman, 602 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:10,040 Speaker 1: you feel like people treated you differently. When I had 603 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,640 Speaker 1: my like long straight Aliah hair. Um, it's funny. I mean, 604 00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: like I definitely got hit on more by men when 605 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,959 Speaker 1: I had long straight hair, like and even when I 606 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 1: straighten it now because even as even though I'm naturally 607 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 1: I straighten it from time to time and like definitely 608 00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:26,640 Speaker 1: get more attention from from man just in general. But 609 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:29,440 Speaker 1: when my hair is natural, you know, men would come 610 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:30,840 Speaker 1: up to me on the street and say things to 611 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:35,040 Speaker 1: me like hello Goddess, Like hello, hello, queen, like things 612 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,080 Speaker 1: like that, and so it was it was a guy 613 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,280 Speaker 1: was a different person and so um. I always like 614 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,720 Speaker 1: to joke with my partner that dating a black woman 615 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 1: with natural hair is like it's like dating eight women, right, 616 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,959 Speaker 1: because it's like one day I'll have twists, one day 617 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 1: I'll have braids, one day it'll be straight, one day 618 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 1: it'll be a fro. Like who are you gonna get 619 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,840 Speaker 1: this morning? You know, you never know, right, And I 620 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 1: think that difference in treatment is very interesting, especially as 621 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,960 Speaker 1: a pertain to Black women at work. And I think 622 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: it's really interesting how the United States military feels about 623 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 1: black women's hair totally, so like what we found, and 624 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,520 Speaker 1: this is something that I think is so absurd, but 625 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,320 Speaker 1: it should give you a sense of the idea of 626 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: like how police to black women's hair actually is. So 627 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,360 Speaker 1: if you're listening to this and you're thinking this sounds 628 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,720 Speaker 1: like a bunch of fuss about nothing, this is a 629 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,440 Speaker 1: real thing for black women. And so black women in 630 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,440 Speaker 1: the military, they had this rule that said that black 631 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:32,480 Speaker 1: women could not wear braids, twists, any kind of hairstyle 632 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,600 Speaker 1: like that. And why that's such a problem is that 633 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 1: basically the one of the only styles has accepted in 634 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:39,600 Speaker 1: the military for women is to have your hair in 635 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,280 Speaker 1: a low bun. But that that rule assumes that all 636 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,080 Speaker 1: hair grows the same, and it doesn't write like when 637 00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:48,680 Speaker 1: my hair was natural and short, there's no way I 638 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 1: could have gotten it into a bond like this doesn't work. 639 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:52,719 Speaker 1: And so they don't let you wear you're like they 640 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,880 Speaker 1: didn't let you wear your like natural pooh for your 641 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 1: you know, a frow, so that your hair just like 642 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,480 Speaker 1: growing out of your head the way that it does naturally. 643 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,680 Speaker 1: Is it's not acceptable enough. Isn't good enough for the military, 644 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,840 Speaker 1: but not that they're going to subsidize like the treating 645 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:09,000 Speaker 1: of exactly exactly. And so what I also found really 646 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,839 Speaker 1: problematic about that rule is that it was clearly made 647 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 1: up by someone who doesn't understand black hair. Because if 648 00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,759 Speaker 1: you're a little black girl, you know that when you're 649 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:19,520 Speaker 1: going you're going to camp for the summer, you get 650 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: twists or braids, right like that is the utilitarian, Like 651 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,879 Speaker 1: you're gonna be swimming, you're gonna be climbing, you're gonna 652 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,239 Speaker 1: be sweating, Like I wear my hair and twists now 653 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,600 Speaker 1: because I don't have time to like really be in 654 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,440 Speaker 1: the mirror every day doing a style, and so basically 655 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,800 Speaker 1: they're telling black women that the style that is universally 656 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,279 Speaker 1: understood to be, you know, the style of people who 657 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,960 Speaker 1: are just like its, especially when you're in the military 658 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,680 Speaker 1: and working out exactly, they're telling you that that style 659 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,440 Speaker 1: isn't okay. So this rule was eventually resended after lots 660 00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,920 Speaker 1: and lots of people making noise about it. Rightly, but 661 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 1: it should really give you a sense of how police 662 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 1: black women's hair has been for so long. And I 663 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,160 Speaker 1: think that you know that there have been cases a 664 00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:01,200 Speaker 1: federal court once ruled that companies could fire people for 665 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:05,480 Speaker 1: having dreadlocks, and can you can you imagine? Can you 666 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,920 Speaker 1: imagine what kind of people? And again, I mean, it 667 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,200 Speaker 1: just should give you a sense of how how fraught 668 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,400 Speaker 1: and how sort of wrapped up in in raise some 669 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,840 Speaker 1: cultural identity that that hair is for black women. And 670 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,200 Speaker 1: they said, well, it's just we're just requiring our employees 671 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:22,480 Speaker 1: to protect a quote professional and business like image end quote. 672 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:26,080 Speaker 1: And therefore they're saying this kind of style that happens 673 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:30,160 Speaker 1: to be rocked by more black people than white is unacceptable, right, 674 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,760 Speaker 1: And it's I think like there are so many cases 675 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: and examples. Um, there's a prestigious school in South Africa 676 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,800 Speaker 1: that was used to be whites only but is now um, 677 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:42,600 Speaker 1: you know not where they wouldn't let like school girls 678 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,279 Speaker 1: where their raids and froze and natural styles. And the 679 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 1: girls actually protested. They were like, this is racist and 680 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,160 Speaker 1: we should be allowed to wear our hair the way 681 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:53,640 Speaker 1: that we want and you can't dictate you know what 682 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,640 Speaker 1: we do with our own bodies and our own hair. Right. Well, 683 00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:01,200 Speaker 1: it's it's absolutely uh a uni versaal talking point. It 684 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:05,800 Speaker 1: feels like today with just recently Bill O'Riley making quite 685 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:11,480 Speaker 1: a fuss over the incredible Maxine Waters, Can you tell 686 00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,640 Speaker 1: us about that situation and catch us up on that front. 687 00:36:14,719 --> 00:36:17,279 Speaker 1: Oh yes, So if you don't know Maxine Waters, she's 688 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,440 Speaker 1: lovingly known as Auntie Maxine by me and lots of 689 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,080 Speaker 1: people who love her. Um. She is just this fierce 690 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,759 Speaker 1: black congresswoman from California, and she's really been doing a 691 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 1: lot of work calling out a lot of unpleasant stuff 692 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:33,279 Speaker 1: going on in our political system right now. And so 693 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,840 Speaker 1: she's made herself a target because she's been so fierce 694 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:41,120 Speaker 1: and visible at the at the forefront of critiquing the 695 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,640 Speaker 1: news she is leading this movement, right like, she like, 696 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:48,719 Speaker 1: the resistance will be led by your black auntie who 697 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,920 Speaker 1: is not having any of it. And so she was on, 698 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,200 Speaker 1: you know, on the floor sort of giving a giving 699 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,520 Speaker 1: a speech about the pressing matters of our our time. 700 00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,279 Speaker 1: And Bill O'Riley, who, by the way, who is he 701 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,319 Speaker 1: to criticize anyone's hair, Um, made fun of her wig. 702 00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,560 Speaker 1: She said, He said it was a James Brown wig 703 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,799 Speaker 1: because he couldn't hear what she was saying because he 704 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:10,400 Speaker 1: was so distracted by her. James Brown, what a dehumanizing 705 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,239 Speaker 1: thing to say that I'm not listening to the words 706 00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:15,360 Speaker 1: that you're saying. I can't I can't even hear what 707 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:19,640 Speaker 1: you're saying. If I find your appearance to be not acceptable, Um, 708 00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,600 Speaker 1: And I thought that for and so obviously I think 709 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,759 Speaker 1: making that kind of dig at anybody is unacceptable. Um. 710 00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:30,040 Speaker 1: But I also think that specifically because black women are 711 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,239 Speaker 1: It's like I said earlier, like we can't win, like 712 00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,960 Speaker 1: we are expected to adhere to these sort of like 713 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:39,680 Speaker 1: very difficult sometimes difficult to adhere to beauty standards. And 714 00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 1: so you know, I wear braids as a way to 715 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,000 Speaker 1: sort of like get around that. If you like, I 716 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,040 Speaker 1: don't know if Maxine Waters wears a wig or not, 717 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,480 Speaker 1: but like, if she did wear a wig, like that 718 00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,479 Speaker 1: would be a totally reasonable way for a black woman 719 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:55,240 Speaker 1: to try to adhere to these like very difficult standards 720 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,400 Speaker 1: that we've been up against. And I'm like, it's like, 721 00:37:57,480 --> 00:38:00,120 Speaker 1: you can't win. Like if she if she wore her 722 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,719 Speaker 1: natural hair, he probably has something to say if she 723 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,880 Speaker 1: wears a wig to look you know, quote unquote more professional, 724 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:10,040 Speaker 1: he has something to say. Like, It's like, we field, right, 725 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:14,440 Speaker 1: and and we I think there's a component to this 726 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:19,279 Speaker 1: mind field that starts to get even more confusing when 727 00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:23,239 Speaker 1: we start to look at people of different races adopting 728 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: traditionally black or you know, other cultures traditions in their 729 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:34,600 Speaker 1: own hair choices. Definitely, and I know that we're trying 730 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:38,399 Speaker 1: to be about more choices, right, we want again you're 731 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:41,440 Speaker 1: saying that the constrained choices that black women face are unfair, 732 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,520 Speaker 1: and they are because God forbid they should wear their 733 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:48,120 Speaker 1: natural you know, afro hair or natural hair of any 734 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,040 Speaker 1: kind in any form. You know, people have something to 735 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,200 Speaker 1: say about that or any other style that's more quote 736 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:59,440 Speaker 1: unquote acceptable or professional. And the same thing goes I 737 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:03,120 Speaker 1: think in when we see the rise of the Rachel 738 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 1: Dolosols of the world, if I'm saying that correctly, which 739 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 1: is where I want to cut. I want to go 740 00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:16,200 Speaker 1: there next on talking through what happens when inspiration turns 741 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:22,400 Speaker 1: into cultural appropriation. So hang on, we are gonna we 742 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,200 Speaker 1: have a lot more to say about that and about 743 00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:27,799 Speaker 1: the political choices that women face when just choosing how 744 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,080 Speaker 1: to present their hair to the world when we come 745 00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:41,000 Speaker 1: back from this quick break and we are back and 746 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:45,279 Speaker 1: we have the oh so simple task ahead of us 747 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:50,240 Speaker 1: of explaining cultural appropriation in hair and beauty for today's 748 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:53,680 Speaker 1: modern woman. No big deal, right, we got this. Nothing 749 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:57,520 Speaker 1: nothing major here, nothing controversial here. So I think this 750 00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:04,799 Speaker 1: really became a major public issue, or at least I 751 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,480 Speaker 1: became even more aware of the challenges and issues around 752 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:12,000 Speaker 1: cultural appropriation with Rachel dolis All. So, in case you 753 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,680 Speaker 1: missed the whole Rachel Dolzell thing, I don't know how 754 00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,280 Speaker 1: you could, because it was everywhere. This is a story 755 00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,120 Speaker 1: that I read, every article, every comment. I was on 756 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:24,520 Speaker 1: this story intensely so. Rachel Dolzel was the head of 757 00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:27,640 Speaker 1: the Spokane chapter of the a c P. This is 758 00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:33,000 Speaker 1: back in Um, she basically was outed as a white 759 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:37,480 Speaker 1: woman who was pretending to be able black woman. And so, 760 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,760 Speaker 1: you know, there's this whole thing with passing where you are, 761 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,759 Speaker 1: you know, a black person who was light enough to 762 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:44,600 Speaker 1: look white, and so you've been passing as white. She 763 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,040 Speaker 1: was sort of doing this in reverse, and so she 764 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,319 Speaker 1: had you know, she attended Howard University and DC she 765 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,440 Speaker 1: had been presenting as a black woman historically black university, 766 00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,440 Speaker 1: but white and black people I talked. I talked of 767 00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,640 Speaker 1: Howard for a few years, and I can confirm that 768 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:01,120 Speaker 1: there are white people, are their white teachers. You would 769 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,239 Speaker 1: not have to lie about your race to like lie 770 00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 1: her way into Howard. You could definitely go with a 771 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:09,520 Speaker 1: white person. Um. So, yeah, she had been lying about 772 00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:12,319 Speaker 1: her race and that when called out, she admitted to 773 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:18,239 Speaker 1: being white, but biologically white, that's what you want to 774 00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:23,520 Speaker 1: She considered herself to be quote transracial. So she was 775 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:27,080 Speaker 1: saying that she feels inside like she's a black woman, 776 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,880 Speaker 1: and though despite the fact that she's not, I was 777 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 1: not born a black woman, she believes that she's culturally black, 778 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:37,400 Speaker 1: which does a huge disservice to the transgender can because 779 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:44,319 Speaker 1: this is not all comparable. It also, you know, she 780 00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:46,640 Speaker 1: we also have to acknowledge he that she permed her 781 00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:51,440 Speaker 1: hair tight curls. So another kind of fun wrinkle about 782 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,719 Speaker 1: Rachel is that she actually worked on the side as 783 00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,920 Speaker 1: someone who like braided hair out of her apartment. I know, 784 00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,520 Speaker 1: I don't know if you know this, which that is 785 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:05,040 Speaker 1: like basically Rachel was like mimicking a very particular kind 786 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:06,560 Speaker 1: of Black woman, like the kind of Black woman who 787 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,799 Speaker 1: doesn't who like braithes hair out of her apartment as 788 00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,600 Speaker 1: a side hustle. It's a very particular kind of Black woman. 789 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,320 Speaker 1: But she's imitating a very like specific kind of black identity, 790 00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:19,160 Speaker 1: which I find very interesting. Which is also sort of 791 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:25,520 Speaker 1: linked to the very roots of um hairstyling in Africa. 792 00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 1: You know, there was usually and this is way back 793 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,120 Speaker 1: in the days. Something I learned from Sminty the on 794 00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:37,000 Speaker 1: their Hair Story podcast, there was like one hairstylist per 795 00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:40,719 Speaker 1: African village and this person was of high renowned and 796 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,560 Speaker 1: very respected in the community. And that was a trade 797 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,120 Speaker 1: that was passed down through generations. And I think that's 798 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,200 Speaker 1: something still because like everyone knows, like, like you have 799 00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:52,279 Speaker 1: a hair stylace that you love, you probably have been 800 00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,359 Speaker 1: going to for years, like you know the woman who 801 00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:57,919 Speaker 1: does who braiths my hair like she's like a second mom, right, 802 00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:02,680 Speaker 1: So for Rachel Dolls all too sort of pose as 803 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,840 Speaker 1: a black person in that way raised all the cultural 804 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,080 Speaker 1: appropriation belves and all the red flags and really ignited 805 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:12,680 Speaker 1: a conversation that needed to be ignited that um and 806 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:16,799 Speaker 1: brought attention to how troubling it can be when you know, 807 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:20,360 Speaker 1: the Kardashians rock corn rows, or when when Native American 808 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:25,319 Speaker 1: head dresses, which are a spiritual and very revered and 809 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:30,080 Speaker 1: sacred component of a Native American tribe, is trotted down 810 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:33,000 Speaker 1: a high fashion runway or like head dress or like 811 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:39,439 Speaker 1: at Coachella on someone's shoulders. Nothing to like SCLX right, right, 812 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:43,919 Speaker 1: So that I mean that just makes I think, um, 813 00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:49,759 Speaker 1: specifically minority Americans, right who who frankly have said, and 814 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:52,719 Speaker 1: I've read this, you haven't earned the right to rock 815 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,440 Speaker 1: that style because this is about our culture that has 816 00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:58,959 Speaker 1: been preserved in the face of persecution. And it makes 817 00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,360 Speaker 1: me really as a as a white Ish, a mostly white, 818 00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:05,920 Speaker 1: a person who presents white racially, even though I do 819 00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:09,600 Speaker 1: have some South American roots in me, as a white 820 00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:15,880 Speaker 1: person who does admire traditionally black style and in that 821 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,480 Speaker 1: style of the hip hop movement um and respects that 822 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:22,680 Speaker 1: and understands the origins of that. It does. I do 823 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,920 Speaker 1: find this troubling in some ways. I'm so afraid of 824 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,840 Speaker 1: being the woman to be called out for rocking like 825 00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:32,680 Speaker 1: bamboo hoop heer. And just by the way, I don't 826 00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:37,440 Speaker 1: own any I own. I want to, but I really 827 00:44:37,520 --> 00:44:41,040 Speaker 1: feel like I can't do that. You know, Like, where 828 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,400 Speaker 1: is that line? So let me take you back to 829 00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:48,000 Speaker 1: the origins of Emily Aris love of of black style. Okay, 830 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:52,520 Speaker 1: that's what this is. I was twelve years old, uh 831 00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:55,560 Speaker 1: and my parents my mom is Catholic, my dad is Jewish, 832 00:44:55,719 --> 00:44:58,440 Speaker 1: asked me what I wanted for Hanukah. And at the 833 00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:01,000 Speaker 1: time I was a big fan of Brandy Um and 834 00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:04,480 Speaker 1: I admired her braids so much this you know, those 835 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,759 Speaker 1: like really thin braids. I would stay up all night, 836 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,040 Speaker 1: not all night, but way too late on a school 837 00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,239 Speaker 1: night to braid my hair. I would be And by 838 00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:14,919 Speaker 1: the way, I grew up in white suburb of Hartford, Connecticut, 839 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:17,560 Speaker 1: you know, and when my dad asked me what I 840 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:21,640 Speaker 1: wanted for Hanukah, I said, I want my hair braided professionally. 841 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:24,960 Speaker 1: I want corn rows. And my mom, who's a nurse, 842 00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:28,160 Speaker 1: works with a bunch of black nurses as co workers 843 00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,799 Speaker 1: in Hartford based hospital, and she asked them. Shocked to them, 844 00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:33,920 Speaker 1: she told them, I don't know what their reactions were. 845 00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:35,759 Speaker 1: I wish I could go back in time and find out. 846 00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:39,680 Speaker 1: But you know, they pointed her to a braid shop 847 00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:43,919 Speaker 1: in Hartford, Connecticut and over you know, holiday break during 848 00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:45,839 Speaker 1: middle school. By the way, this is sixth grade. Middle 849 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:48,279 Speaker 1: school is hard enough. So why why the hell did 850 00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:50,840 Speaker 1: I do this to myself? I said, awesome, I'm gonna 851 00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:53,360 Speaker 1: go get my hair braided. I did. It took a while. 852 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,600 Speaker 1: It was really painful for a little white girl whose 853 00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,359 Speaker 1: scalp hadn't been pulled on my entire life. And I'm 854 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:03,600 Speaker 1: sitting there with turquoise and glitter beads on the bottom 855 00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:07,719 Speaker 1: of every braid, loving my luck, shaking my head and 856 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:11,160 Speaker 1: just being like, this is the ultimate gift. This is 857 00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:15,120 Speaker 1: my I'm so happy. What the hell right? So what 858 00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:18,719 Speaker 1: the hell is happening here? My parents are? They have 859 00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:20,640 Speaker 1: let me, you know, do my own thing, my own 860 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,319 Speaker 1: entire life. So I guess props to them for not 861 00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,120 Speaker 1: giving me any grief about it. I don't know. So 862 00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,200 Speaker 1: here's what happens. I get on the school bus the 863 00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:32,040 Speaker 1: first day back from holiday break, and I am being 864 00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:35,440 Speaker 1: bullied immediately, and I'm thinking, how cool is my hair man? 865 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:38,879 Speaker 1: Everyone's gonna love it every I literally thought that all 866 00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,520 Speaker 1: these white kids in my school, we're gonna love my hair. 867 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:45,000 Speaker 1: And I'm getting called names that are not appropriate for 868 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:49,840 Speaker 1: air right, like bad names. And I'm getting asked weird 869 00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:53,120 Speaker 1: questions by my classmates like where did you go? And 870 00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:56,960 Speaker 1: finally my band teacher shout out to Mr Anderson, who 871 00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,120 Speaker 1: was woke before kind of knew what work was, but 872 00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,799 Speaker 1: he he was at least clear with me enough to say, well, 873 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:05,400 Speaker 1: did you go on a cruise? And then thinking like, 874 00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:08,120 Speaker 1: uh no, we don't have that kind of money, Like 875 00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,440 Speaker 1: who do you think I am? And I'm like no, 876 00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:11,680 Speaker 1: And he says did you go to the Bahamas? I'm 877 00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:14,399 Speaker 1: like no, and he goes where'd you get your hair done? 878 00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:16,600 Speaker 1: And I looked him straight in the eye and I said, Hartford, 879 00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:18,759 Speaker 1: why does everyone give me so much grief about this? 880 00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:21,960 Speaker 1: And the sad part of this story is I went 881 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,719 Speaker 1: home that night and immediately took them all out, But 882 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,640 Speaker 1: you know, the other part of the story is I 883 00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:33,839 Speaker 1: had zero cultural understanding or respect for corn rows at 884 00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:38,200 Speaker 1: the time, So is that cultural appropriation? And I, you know, 885 00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:41,239 Speaker 1: was I an ignorant little kid or was like was 886 00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:43,680 Speaker 1: it wrong for my parents let me do that? I mean, 887 00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:47,360 Speaker 1: that was the day I learned that white girls cannot 888 00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:50,560 Speaker 1: rock corn rows. And it wasn't from anyone black in 889 00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,600 Speaker 1: my life. And had told me that there weren't very 890 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,160 Speaker 1: many people in my life at the time of black, 891 00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:58,640 Speaker 1: but my white my weight, you know, colleagues and classmates 892 00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:01,120 Speaker 1: and teachers certainly let me know that was not allowed either. 893 00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:06,120 Speaker 1: I mean, that's a lot. I just feel very torried 894 00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,960 Speaker 1: about it. I feel like, is it ever okay for 895 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,719 Speaker 1: a white person or rack corn ross? I mean, that's 896 00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:18,239 Speaker 1: it's that's such a fraud question, right, Like, I you know, 897 00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:21,279 Speaker 1: it's it's interesting because I grew up seeing a lot 898 00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,759 Speaker 1: of white people, like justin Timberlake used to do it 899 00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,200 Speaker 1: all the time. Remember back in the day. It's not 900 00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,719 Speaker 1: it's not cool, it's bad. It's not like I see, 901 00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:33,919 Speaker 1: like my just personally, my problem with it usually comes 902 00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:35,959 Speaker 1: from more of a like it looks weird, like even 903 00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:39,600 Speaker 1: before getting into even before like getting into like the 904 00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:45,719 Speaker 1: sixth grade. Emily put it in the show notes I 905 00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:48,400 Speaker 1: haven't I haven't interesting sort of like parallel to that. 906 00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:50,120 Speaker 1: So I grew up rand corn rows all the time 907 00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:52,680 Speaker 1: because like I said, I had long hair. Um. Usually 908 00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:54,800 Speaker 1: around the summertime, I would get them, like my grandma 909 00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,920 Speaker 1: was really good at doing them, and I always remember. 910 00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,440 Speaker 1: So I went to a school that was like be 911 00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:02,640 Speaker 1: It's like it was kind of diverse, but it was 912 00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,600 Speaker 1: very white. Um, and I remember when it was like 913 00:49:05,640 --> 00:49:08,200 Speaker 1: spring break or like coming back from the summer. Girls 914 00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,120 Speaker 1: kind of like what you just said. They'd always come 915 00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,680 Speaker 1: back from cruises with these like they had gotten their 916 00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,520 Speaker 1: hair braided and with bees and so it was like 917 00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,120 Speaker 1: half done, yeah ye, like because they didn't want to 918 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:21,560 Speaker 1: go full what I did because I was like a 919 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,880 Speaker 1: little part of their head. So usually it was from 920 00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,120 Speaker 1: the top and then the back was pretty blowing. And 921 00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:29,440 Speaker 1: so the people would always sort of and I, you know, 922 00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:32,160 Speaker 1: they would come back from these like vacations to the beach, 923 00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:34,080 Speaker 1: to the Bahamas, they'd beat tan and they would have 924 00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,880 Speaker 1: these like corn rows, and all their friends would be like, wow, 925 00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:39,560 Speaker 1: where did you go? Like la la, But for me, 926 00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,520 Speaker 1: you know, I always You're like, excuse me, yeah, I see. 927 00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,560 Speaker 1: Then I would listen to these girls get like fond 928 00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:47,800 Speaker 1: over and I'd be like, I were this style every 929 00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:51,400 Speaker 1: day because they had to do you not appreciate my 930 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,439 Speaker 1: car for me? I would, I would just I would 931 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:57,560 Speaker 1: just sit in class and like silently stew it would 932 00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,960 Speaker 1: eat me anthan side. Well that's all fall. So it's 933 00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:04,080 Speaker 1: just it's so fraught. It's so fraught, and I think 934 00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:09,640 Speaker 1: every time um My LEAs, IRUs Twerks or Kim Kardashian 935 00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:12,800 Speaker 1: Corners or hair, these conversations come up. And I found 936 00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:16,440 Speaker 1: Jenny Avans, I want to say, Aven's of The Atlantic 937 00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:22,200 Speaker 1: magazine finally put to words some of the discomfort I 938 00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:27,200 Speaker 1: feel around this, but also really put in stark terms 939 00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:32,400 Speaker 1: just how much appropriation is at the root of American culture. 940 00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,200 Speaker 1: It doesn't I feel like these are these are new 941 00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:39,680 Speaker 1: forms of appropriation. But she makes it clear that you know, 942 00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:41,760 Speaker 1: at her at her house, she says, and I quote, 943 00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:44,920 Speaker 1: getting dressed is a daily act of cultural appropriation, and 944 00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,960 Speaker 1: I'm not the least bit sorry about it. I step 945 00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:49,440 Speaker 1: out of the shower in the morning and pull on 946 00:50:49,480 --> 00:50:53,880 Speaker 1: a vintage cotted cotton kimono After moisturizing my face, I 947 00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:57,680 Speaker 1: smear Lucas Papa ointment, a tip from an Australian makeup artist, 948 00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,080 Speaker 1: onto my lips before I make coffee with a be 949 00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:03,200 Speaker 1: a letty stovetop espresso maker a girlfriend brought back from Italy. 950 00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:05,920 Speaker 1: Depending on the weather, I might pull an embroidered flower 951 00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:09,040 Speaker 1: blouse I bought at a roadside shop in Mexico, or 952 00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:13,920 Speaker 1: a stripy Marionier style shirt originally inspired by the French, 953 00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:17,520 Speaker 1: but mine was from the surplus store standard issue rush 954 00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:21,840 Speaker 1: And tell Nish, I can't say this. So basically what 955 00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:23,359 Speaker 1: she's saying, and she goes on and on and on, 956 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:27,160 Speaker 1: is that her fashion choices are multicultural. And I don't 957 00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:30,920 Speaker 1: want to make excuses for ignorant appropriation, but I do 958 00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:35,319 Speaker 1: think this article brings up the dues and don't of 959 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:40,800 Speaker 1: cultural appropriation what it looks like to respectfully rock styles 960 00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:44,440 Speaker 1: that originate from other people's cultures. And I know it's controversial, 961 00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,200 Speaker 1: but it is controversial, so you know, I think that 962 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:49,440 Speaker 1: Like for me, I think, but I would be an 963 00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:52,560 Speaker 1: article like that and I would say, like, of course, 964 00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,520 Speaker 1: everybody like you go through your daily life and like 965 00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,680 Speaker 1: choices that you make are inspired by other cultures. Like 966 00:51:56,760 --> 00:52:00,719 Speaker 1: that's that's fine, but I also think gets important to 967 00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:02,960 Speaker 1: like recognize and I think that the article sort of 968 00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,759 Speaker 1: goes into this, like when you're when you're borrowing from 969 00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:08,520 Speaker 1: a culture that has a legacy of like oppression, and 970 00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:10,840 Speaker 1: so it's like, you know, being like, oh, this shirt 971 00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:14,040 Speaker 1: is French and like this whatever is inspired by like 972 00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:17,319 Speaker 1: Nate like like indigenous people. It's like Indigenous people in 973 00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,600 Speaker 1: the United States have a different legacy than French people 974 00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:22,040 Speaker 1: in the United States. So like, I think it's important 975 00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:25,279 Speaker 1: to sort of if you're going to you know, going 976 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:28,960 Speaker 1: to wear something that's inspired by another person's culture, really 977 00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:31,799 Speaker 1: doing it respectfully and like knowing where that line is 978 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:36,080 Speaker 1: between you know, like like appreciating and appropriating, because there 979 00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:39,480 Speaker 1: is a line. Yeah, I think so too. It's anxiety 980 00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:42,600 Speaker 1: provoking to play with that line too. So I think 981 00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,600 Speaker 1: there's an there's an argument to be made for not 982 00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:47,279 Speaker 1: just for the sake of not offending people, because people 983 00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:49,960 Speaker 1: can be offended whether or not your intentions are woke. 984 00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:52,680 Speaker 1: And Nicki Minaj actually who is quoted in this article, 985 00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:56,640 Speaker 1: really put things perfectly when she was reacting um to 986 00:52:56,719 --> 00:53:00,920 Speaker 1: Miley Cyrus's video and sort of the you know, the 987 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:06,280 Speaker 1: praising of white women who adapt or rather adopt Black culture, 988 00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:10,319 Speaker 1: and the the overlooking of black women who have been 989 00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:12,759 Speaker 1: doing that all along, who have been wearing rows every 990 00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:16,040 Speaker 1: day and then be in from third grade and hair 991 00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,279 Speaker 1: gets compliments. So Nikki says, come on, you can't want 992 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,920 Speaker 1: the good without the bad, said Nicki saimnage. If you 993 00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:26,000 Speaker 1: want to enjoy our culture and our lifestyle, bond with us, 994 00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:28,080 Speaker 1: dance with us, have fun with us, t werk with us, 995 00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:30,680 Speaker 1: wrap with us, and then you should also want to 996 00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:33,600 Speaker 1: know what affects us, what is bothering us, what we 997 00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:37,319 Speaker 1: feel is unfair to us. You shouldn't not want to 998 00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:41,200 Speaker 1: know that. And so I think the you know, there's 999 00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:44,720 Speaker 1: an article or there's a component to this article that says, 1000 00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:50,799 Speaker 1: consider giving credit, but also beyond that, consider giving royalties, 1001 00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:55,680 Speaker 1: so you better give back and be involved actively in 1002 00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:59,839 Speaker 1: in fighting the oppression of the marginalized cultures from whom 1003 00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:03,040 Speaker 1: you're are adopting totally. And it's like when you think 1004 00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:06,680 Speaker 1: about people like ide Azalea, even that she often gets 1005 00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:10,160 Speaker 1: gets blamed for and like rightly so for wanting to 1006 00:54:10,239 --> 00:54:13,000 Speaker 1: borrow from black culture, but then like not wanting to 1007 00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:15,200 Speaker 1: know the intricacies of it, not wanting to know, like, 1008 00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:17,359 Speaker 1: and so it's like being in all lives matter person 1009 00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:20,239 Speaker 1: exactly like you can't if you're if like I feel 1010 00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:22,600 Speaker 1: like with her, it's like if black culture is the 1011 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,600 Speaker 1: thing that's paying your rent, like you kind of owe 1012 00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:26,520 Speaker 1: us a little bit, right, like, and it's like I 1013 00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:31,560 Speaker 1: think that, like, it's so wrong too not to not 1014 00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:35,759 Speaker 1: care about police killings, do not care about you know, oppression, 1015 00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:38,280 Speaker 1: do not care about you know, social injustice that impacts 1016 00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,640 Speaker 1: black communities, if you are actively like making money off 1017 00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:45,080 Speaker 1: of those communally. Yeah. Yeah, that's a really good point 1018 00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:47,080 Speaker 1: and it's something for all of us, I think, to 1019 00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:50,640 Speaker 1: integrate into our considerations. We're not just in hair, but 1020 00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:54,040 Speaker 1: in style in general. So hair is complicated. I think 1021 00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:56,080 Speaker 1: we can start to sort of wrap this up by 1022 00:54:56,120 --> 00:55:01,120 Speaker 1: acknowledging that there are so many trip wires that women 1023 00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:03,600 Speaker 1: run into when it comes to making choices about how 1024 00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,279 Speaker 1: we present to the world and conform or choose not 1025 00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,839 Speaker 1: to conform to traditional or white or anglow you know, 1026 00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:14,120 Speaker 1: um beauty standards in the world. But what's what's a 1027 00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:18,879 Speaker 1: sminty boss lady to do in light of all this? Well, 1028 00:55:18,920 --> 00:55:22,560 Speaker 1: I think it's really about doing you write like I think, 1029 00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,640 Speaker 1: if you want to have short hair, rock your short hair. 1030 00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:28,080 Speaker 1: If you want to have long hair, rock your long hair. 1031 00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:29,880 Speaker 1: If you want to have extensions, if you want to 1032 00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:33,240 Speaker 1: have twist, natural hair, relaxed hair. These are all personal 1033 00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:36,400 Speaker 1: choices and even though the outside world may try to 1034 00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:39,400 Speaker 1: put you know, meaning on them, ultimately you gotta do you. 1035 00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:41,400 Speaker 1: And I think the same can be said even for 1036 00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:44,680 Speaker 1: people with whom we vehemently disagree. I'm thinking back to 1037 00:55:44,760 --> 00:55:49,520 Speaker 1: that Ivanka Trump slam that that woman had in the 1038 00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,960 Speaker 1: article about saying, you know Milannia Trump or Notanca, you 1039 00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,279 Speaker 1: know Milannia Trump. Do the opposite of that. You can 1040 00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:57,680 Speaker 1: have Milannia Trump hair and still be a good feminist. 1041 00:55:57,680 --> 00:55:59,759 Speaker 1: I know plenty of women that have Bannia Trump hair 1042 00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:03,799 Speaker 1: who are so you know, there's no bad I think 1043 00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:08,000 Speaker 1: the politics of hair are fraud and they're complex, and 1044 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:13,120 Speaker 1: that you can make a statement, you can impact the 1045 00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:16,359 Speaker 1: way others see you with your hair choices. But if 1046 00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:18,560 Speaker 1: you are making a strategic choice, Let's say you're a 1047 00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:21,960 Speaker 1: black woman who is treating your hair chemically and you're 1048 00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,480 Speaker 1: straightening your hair and you're, you know, keeping your hair 1049 00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:28,879 Speaker 1: looking in a way that is, you know, statistically more 1050 00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:32,080 Speaker 1: palatable to your white boss because you want to get ahead. 1051 00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:34,000 Speaker 1: There ain't no shame in that game either, and it 1052 00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:36,640 Speaker 1: doesn't make you less of a feminist or less woke, right, 1053 00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,320 Speaker 1: It's just it's a very personal choice. And yet I 1054 00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:45,160 Speaker 1: would argue there is nothing as incredibly and this is 1055 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:46,719 Speaker 1: a privilege to be able to do this, but there's 1056 00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:51,400 Speaker 1: nothing that felt is good as aligning my outer hair 1057 00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:54,719 Speaker 1: look with how I really felt inside and like that 1058 00:56:54,719 --> 00:56:57,880 Speaker 1: that sort of expression of you know, I want to 1059 00:56:57,920 --> 00:57:00,480 Speaker 1: have some crazy intense hair and now feel like it's 1060 00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:02,880 Speaker 1: part of my my whole look, my whole thing. And 1061 00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:05,480 Speaker 1: I don't think I'm going anywhere anytime soon. But if 1062 00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:07,760 Speaker 1: you have the privilege to do that without worrying about 1063 00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:11,040 Speaker 1: how your boss is gonna treat you differently, I strongly 1064 00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:15,240 Speaker 1: encourage y'all to to make a chop or make a change, 1065 00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:18,280 Speaker 1: or I might throw in some extensions someday for the 1066 00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:20,560 Speaker 1: hell of it, because I mean, you gotta do you. 1067 00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:24,800 Speaker 1: I think that's the point here, and and uh, you know, 1068 00:57:24,880 --> 00:57:28,080 Speaker 1: I think engaging in the occasional hair speriment is something 1069 00:57:28,120 --> 00:57:30,400 Speaker 1: that I like to do as well, and and we 1070 00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:34,760 Speaker 1: can't judge each other for our hair choices. That's it. 1071 00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:37,120 Speaker 1: That's it. I think that's that's about it. So I 1072 00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:39,360 Speaker 1: want to hear from you. I want to hear from 1073 00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:44,240 Speaker 1: sninty listeners. Please tell us more about how your hair 1074 00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:48,200 Speaker 1: changes over time have impacted the way people have treated you. 1075 00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:50,960 Speaker 1: So did you make a big change and get some 1076 00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:55,320 Speaker 1: unfortunate and negative feedback and how did you deal? Did 1077 00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,160 Speaker 1: you go back or did you change it? Or did 1078 00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:02,360 Speaker 1: you ever make a hair our choice purely out of 1079 00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,880 Speaker 1: your own sort of desire to go for something that 1080 00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:08,160 Speaker 1: you've been admiring on other people for a long time, 1081 00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:11,920 Speaker 1: or if you haven't because you you're not sure that 1082 00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:14,320 Speaker 1: you can rock itt? What's holding you back? So I 1083 00:58:14,360 --> 00:58:17,240 Speaker 1: want to hear from you about your hair journey, whether 1084 00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:23,040 Speaker 1: you're natural, relaxed, raids, dreads, twists, whatever? Did you go natural? 1085 00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,600 Speaker 1: Why did you big chap when you went natural? Did 1086 00:58:25,600 --> 00:58:28,200 Speaker 1: you just grow it out? How do people change their way? 1087 00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:31,360 Speaker 1: They tweeted you when you went natural or didn't go natural? Um? 1088 00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:34,200 Speaker 1: You know, how has your hair impacted your work life, 1089 00:58:34,240 --> 00:58:37,800 Speaker 1: your romantic life, your family life. We want to hear 1090 00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:40,800 Speaker 1: from you. Yeah, so send us a note shoot us 1091 00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:44,520 Speaker 1: a tweet at mom Stuff podcast. You can also share 1092 00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:49,240 Speaker 1: a fierce photo of your awesome hair cut and what 1093 00:58:49,280 --> 00:58:54,160 Speaker 1: it means about your feminism on on Instagram at stuff 1094 00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:57,400 Speaker 1: mom Never Told You Or As always, we love to 1095 00:58:57,480 --> 00:59:00,000 Speaker 1: hear from you directly through our inbox, so shoot us 1096 00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:14,880 Speaker 1: an email at mom stuff at how stuff works dot com, 1097 00:59:04,880 --> 00:59:04,920 Speaker 1: m