1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: I was lost, lazy, and unmotivated until I did this. 2 00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:08,200 Speaker 1: What I'm about to share with you today is a 3 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: step by step formula for how to not be lazy, 4 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:16,639 Speaker 1: to find motivation, to discover discipline, and actually make a 5 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,440 Speaker 1: shift in your life now. If you don't, you can 6 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: often get into the spiral of feeling like you're ruining everything. 7 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 1: Let me break it down for you. I'd wake up tired, 8 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: scroll for hours, lie to myself about tomorrow, and still 9 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,920 Speaker 1: wonder why nothing in my life was changing. I wasn't broken, 10 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 1: but I felt like I was wasting my potential every 11 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: single day. The truth is I almost let it all 12 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,560 Speaker 1: slip away, my purpose, my drive, the people I love. 13 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,560 Speaker 1: What I'm about to share with you pulled me out 14 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 1: of that spiral. And if any part of this sounds 15 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: like you, you need to hear it. Step number one, 16 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 1: lower the bar, way lower. The hardest part isn't doing 17 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: the thing. It's starting the thing. Set the smallest possible 18 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:12,200 Speaker 1: action step so small it feels ridiculous not to do it. Now, 19 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: why should you lower the bar? Everyone's always telling you 20 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: to achieve more, to think bigger, to do more. Why 21 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: is J telling me to lower the bar? Well, here's 22 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 1: the truth. We don't fail because we're not capable. We 23 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 1: fail because we set the bar so high we never 24 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 1: get started. We imagine we need a perfect plan, a 25 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 1: perfect morning routine, a perfect burst of motivation. But perfection 26 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 1: kills momentum. And momentum, not motivation, is what actually changes 27 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: your life. Now, here's the psychology behind it. It's something 28 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: known as the activation barrier. Behavioral science shows that the 29 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 1: hardest part of any task isn't doing it, it's starting it. 30 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 1: That first moment takes the most mental energy. So when 31 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: you lower the bar, when you make the first step 32 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 1: laughably easy, you bypass resistance. Don't work out for an hour, 33 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: just put on your shoes, don't write ten pages, just 34 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 1: open the document. Don't eat healthy forever, just drink one 35 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:27,360 Speaker 1: glass of water. Once you're moving, your dopamine system kicks in. 36 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:34,480 Speaker 1: Effort itself becomes rewarding. Action creates motivation, not the other 37 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: way around. I can't express to you just how big 38 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,280 Speaker 1: a point this is. The goal is to get started, 39 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,799 Speaker 1: to do the smallest thing. If you're thinking I need 40 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: to start a business, or the first step may actually 41 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: just be registering a company or getting a trademark on 42 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: a name, or building the minimum viable product version, which 43 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,959 Speaker 1: may start with a phone or to a friend who 44 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: could be a mentor. The point is to write down 45 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 1: what you want to build, and then write down every 46 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: step to get there, almost thinking of it like a 47 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 1: step ladder, And just like a step ladder, you'll now 48 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,119 Speaker 1: place one foot in front of the other, and then 49 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 1: the next. Another reason why this works is because it's 50 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: called the tiny habits effect. BJ Fog, a Stanford behavioral scientist, 51 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 1: found that habit stick when they start smaller than your resistance. 52 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 1: When you make the bar low enough to win even 53 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: on your worst days, you train your brain to associate 54 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: action with success, not shame. That's how you rewire self belief. 55 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: Lowering the bar isn't giving up, it's giving yourself a 56 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: chance to show up. Now, this affects your confidence loop. 57 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: Every time you follow through on something small, you build 58 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: self trust and that trust becomes confidence. Confidence isn't built 59 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: by big wins, it's built by micro promises. Kept you 60 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: start to think I can rely on me, and that's 61 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: how you shift from lazy to consistent, from overwhelmed to grounded. 62 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: And here's the truth. We raise the bar to impress others. 63 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 1: We lower the bar to take care of ourselves. One 64 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: is performance, the other is peace. When you lower the bar, 65 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: you start winning again. Not in a way that looks good, 66 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,799 Speaker 1: but in a way that feels good and the real result. 67 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:46,039 Speaker 1: Lowering the bar isn't lowering your potential. It's raising your consistency, 68 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:52,960 Speaker 1: and consistency compounds into results that perfection never delivers. One 69 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 1: of my favorite quotes is that you should start so 70 00:04:56,320 --> 00:05:01,359 Speaker 1: small it's impossible to fail, and then repeat it until 71 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:06,720 Speaker 1: it's impossible to stop. This leverages the Zigaronic effect. Your 72 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:10,600 Speaker 1: brain hates unfinished tasks and will naturally want to complete 73 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:18,720 Speaker 1: them once you start. Momentum before motivation, remember action before enthusiasm. 74 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: Just take one step forward, one small step. Do the 75 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 1: easiest thing you can do, the simplest thing you can do. 76 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:36,320 Speaker 1: One thing, not everything, Just one thing. Step number two 77 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: focus on building a ritual, not a routine. Routines rely 78 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: on willpower. I remember times in my life where I 79 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: just didn't have any willpower. I would just feel like 80 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: I would break down even before starting. Rituals are different. 81 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:57,919 Speaker 1: They rely on association. You do the same cue before 82 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 1: the same task every day, same place, same playlist, same 83 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: coffee mug. For me, I know that if I listen 84 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,240 Speaker 1: to meditation music from the moment I wake up, I 85 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: can now lock into my meditation quicker after brushing my 86 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,720 Speaker 1: teeth and having a shower. I know that I work 87 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:18,280 Speaker 1: out straight after meditating, so my brain and body are 88 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:22,479 Speaker 1: already prepared and ready for that. Over time, your brain 89 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:28,440 Speaker 1: links that queue to productivity through classical conditioning. It's Pavlov's dog, 90 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:32,359 Speaker 1: but you're the dog and the bell. One creator lights 91 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: a candle before writing. The brain learns candle equals focus mode. 92 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 1: The point is that you're creating a queue that leads 93 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: you to that activity. I'll give you another example. You 94 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 1: get home from work, you walk in through the door, 95 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:50,559 Speaker 1: and you have jazz music playing, because jazz music tells 96 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 1: your body it's time to relax and calm down. Otherwise, 97 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,679 Speaker 1: you walk into your home and you're still carrying all 98 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,480 Speaker 1: of that energy with you. That simple cue can make 99 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,200 Speaker 1: a shift. I remember one of my clients telling me 100 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 1: that they loved leaving their yoga mat already rolled out 101 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: next to their bed, so they could literally roll off 102 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: their bed and onto the yoga mat and start practicing. Yogat. 103 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: Other people leave their shoes by the door they're running shoes, 104 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 1: so that they remember to put them on and go 105 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: for a job, go for a walk or maybe even 106 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 1: a long run. What does this do It makes the 107 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 1: queue and the association easier for you to follow through. Right. 108 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: If you have your vitamins and supplements right near your 109 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: breakfast every day, you're more likely to take them. If 110 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: you have them in a bat or a jar that's 111 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: somewhere else in your bedroom or in your house, it's 112 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 1: going to take you forever to get there. How can 113 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 1: you make it easier and simpler on your brain and 114 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 1: your body to make the shifts you want to make? 115 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 1: Step number three break the dopamine addiction cycle. Laziness often 116 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 1: isn't lack of motivation, it's dopamine burnout from cheap rewards scrolling, snacking, streaming. 117 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: The reason these are cheap rewards is that they feel 118 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: good in the beginning, but they feel terrible afterwards. This 119 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 1: is known as something called rudgus, or the mode of 120 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: passion in the bugger Ghita. When you do things in 121 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: the mode of passion, they feel amazing at the start, 122 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 1: but they feel like poison in the end. We all 123 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: know what that feels like. When you've wasted so many 124 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: hours scrolling, you've just been eating junk food for the 125 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 1: whole weekend. You've flooded your reward system with micro hits, 126 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: so real work, which pays uf later, feels impossible. Here's 127 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 1: what I want you to try to a twenty four 128 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: hour dopamine detox. No endless scrolling, no junk food or 129 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 1: background noise, no passive consumption. Your brain resets sensitivity to 130 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 1: effort and reward. Suddenly, reading, writing, or lifting doesn't feel 131 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: like pushing a rock uphill, and you'll actually notice how 132 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 1: even your taste buds changed. I've noticed that if I 133 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,560 Speaker 1: got a week without sugar, my taste buds are rewiring. 134 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,319 Speaker 1: If you got a week without junk food, it doesn't 135 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 1: even taste as good afterwards. Because what we have to 136 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:28,559 Speaker 1: recognize is you have to notice what's numbing. You ask yourself, 137 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:33,439 Speaker 1: what do I reach for when I'm bored, anxious, or tired. 138 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: That's your cheap dopamine, usually your phone snacks or endless scrolling. 139 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: You can't change what you don't notice. The next thing 140 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 1: you need to do is do that twenty four hour 141 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:49,680 Speaker 1: detox one day, no social media, no junk food, no 142 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: background noise, just a reset and you'll be amazed how 143 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: quickly your brain gets quiet again. Here's a tip, delete 144 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: the apps for a day now your accounts. Just delete 145 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 1: the apps, lower the barrier to start, and remember that 146 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 1: point number one. The next thing you have to realize 147 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: is we have to replace the quick hits with real ones. 148 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: One of the biggest mistakes we make and habit change 149 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 1: is we try to cut out the bad stuff, but 150 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:20,080 Speaker 1: we don't replace it with anything. When you cut the 151 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 1: fake dopamine, you need real reward. Move your body instead, 152 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:29,920 Speaker 1: cook something, walk outside, call someone. Don't forget that point. 153 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 1: You want to do activities that feel good after, not 154 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 1: the ones that feel good before. Cheap dopamine numbs you 155 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:43,080 Speaker 1: now and drains you later. Real dopamine costs you effort, 156 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:47,199 Speaker 1: but gives you energy. It's so interesting to me how 157 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: so many of us are numbing ourselves from pain the 158 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 1: escape rather than elevating, energizing and being able to cope 159 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:09,439 Speaker 1: with it. This episode is brought to you by eBay. 160 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 1: You know there are certain books that don't just give 161 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: you information, they shift the way you see the world. 162 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,079 Speaker 1: I remember reading one when I was younger that completely 163 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,680 Speaker 1: changed me. It was the first time I felt like 164 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,599 Speaker 1: someone had put into words what I was feeling inside, 165 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,840 Speaker 1: the confusion, the hope, the searching. I felt like the 166 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: author was speaking directly to my soul. Years later, I 167 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 1: found myself thinking about that book again. I wanted the 168 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,600 Speaker 1: same edition back, not a reprint, not a different cover, 169 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,800 Speaker 1: that exact one, the one that made me feel seen 170 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 1: for the first time. So I started searching and that's 171 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 1: when I found it on eBay. When it arrived, I 172 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: opened it slowly and I could almost feel that younger 173 00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:53,080 Speaker 1: version of me sitting there again, dreaming, learning, growing. It 174 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: reminded me that the things we hold on to, the 175 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:59,080 Speaker 1: ones that really mean something, they're not just objects. They're 176 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: markers of who we've been and who we're becoming. That's 177 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 1: what I love about eBay. It's not just a marketplace. 178 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,200 Speaker 1: It's a place where stories live, where you can rediscover 179 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:12,640 Speaker 1: the pieces of your past that still inspire your present. 180 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,680 Speaker 1: Trop eBay for millions of fines, each with a story. 181 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:35,560 Speaker 1: eBay Things People Love. Step number four is add friction. 182 00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 1: Just like we wanted to make good habits easier, make 183 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: bad habits a little harder to do. Keep your phone 184 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 1: in another room while you work. This has worked wonders 185 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,439 Speaker 1: for me. When I'm trying to go do deep work, 186 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 1: I will be on my laptop, which is not connected 187 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,200 Speaker 1: to any of the apps, and I will leave the 188 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 1: phone in my bedroom. This has transformed my life. Truly 189 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 1: has transformed my life. I can actually do deep work again. 190 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,720 Speaker 1: I can actually sit there and write and process my 191 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: thoughts without something buzzing every fifteen seconds and grabbing my 192 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:12,600 Speaker 1: attention away. Don't look at your phone first thing in 193 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:16,680 Speaker 1: the morning. You would never let one hundred people walk 194 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:20,200 Speaker 1: into your bedroom before you've brushed your teeth or washed 195 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 1: your face or put on makeup. But you will happily 196 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:26,640 Speaker 1: let one hundred people walk into the bedroom of your 197 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 1: mind before you've even woken up. It's like someone's telling 198 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:33,440 Speaker 1: you to reply to this report. Someone's telling you to 199 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 1: reply to this message. Someone's telling you what you didn't 200 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: do yesterday. Imagine everyone crowded around your bed, screaming and 201 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 1: yelling at you. That's what it feels like. Turn off notifications, 202 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:49,359 Speaker 1: log out every night. If scrolling takes five extra seconds, 203 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 1: you do it less because your phone is away. It's 204 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 1: in another room. It's that simple. And look here's the thing. 205 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,559 Speaker 1: I know it's hard to leave your phone out of 206 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:04,680 Speaker 1: the room. I know it's hard to focus and do 207 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,679 Speaker 1: the work. I'm not saying it's easy. It's actually been 208 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 1: built against us. The algorithm is designed to target our 209 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 1: flaws and weaknesses. The algorithm's goal is not to make 210 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:19,800 Speaker 1: you happy. The algorithm's goal is not to make you successful. 211 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 1: The algorithm's goal is to keep you glued and keep scrolling. 212 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 1: It's going to keep showing you things that are engaging. 213 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,880 Speaker 1: It's going to keep showing you things that it thinks 214 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: are going to keep you there because it kept your 215 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 1: friends there. That's how the algorithm thinks. You're not going 216 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 1: to beat it by willpower. You're going to beat it 217 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,760 Speaker 1: by distance. When you have distance from this, you can 218 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: actually detox. The next step is to relearn boredom. Boredom 219 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 1: is not the enemy. It's a reset button. Let yourself 220 00:14:56,840 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 1: be bored for ten minutes a day, no phone, no music, 221 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 1: just quiet. That's where your brain remembers how to focus again. 222 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: I remember you've all Noah Harari coming on the podcast 223 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: and we talked about maybe around five years ago and 224 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 1: our six years ago the importance of boredom. We have 225 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: filled our spaces of boredom with apps, with social media, 226 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: with distractions, not realizing that boredom can lead to curiosity, rest, 227 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: and breakthroughs. Allowing yourself to practice boredom for ten minutes 228 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:43,200 Speaker 1: a day. You're not reading a book, you're not distracted 229 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: by the television, you're not on your phone talking to someone. 230 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 1: To truly do nothing for ten minutes a day and 231 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,479 Speaker 1: no it's how On the first day you'll feel pretty uncomfortable. 232 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 1: Day two you might actually be going crazy. Day three, 233 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 1: things will start to settle. Four you might actually feel 234 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: more alert. Day five you might have some amazing ideas. 235 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 1: Day six you'll think why didn't I do this earlier? 236 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 1: And day seven you will have reset yourself. See, so 237 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 1: many of us are making mistakes in our life because 238 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 1: we haven't reset. We keep making the same mistakes again 239 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:26,200 Speaker 1: and again and again because we've never reset. Allowing yourself 240 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: to truly reset the system. Think about your devices when 241 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 1: they've been overused, overworked, overwhelmed. They need to reset to refresh. 242 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 1: Humans are the same. We do it every night when 243 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: we sleep, but we also need to do it away 244 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 1: from all of these devices. The next step is reward effort, 245 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 1: not outcomes. You finish the task, take a walk, stretch, 246 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:57,360 Speaker 1: write it down. Small winds released dopamine two and train 247 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:01,840 Speaker 1: your brain to crave effort instead of escape. So many 248 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: of us stop doing things that are good for us 249 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:10,200 Speaker 1: because we don't remember how good they were. You'll remember 250 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,120 Speaker 1: when you went to work and there was traffic, there 251 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,800 Speaker 1: was an accident, your brain actually holds onto it, but 252 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 1: when the road was smooth, you never remember it. You 253 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:22,679 Speaker 1: don't remember how you felt after you worked out in 254 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 1: a week. You do remember this stress you feel before 255 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:30,119 Speaker 1: you go to workout. The brain holds on to negative experiences. 256 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: We have a negativity buyas because, as you know, back 257 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: in the day, if you missed a bury, it didn't matter, 258 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: but if you missed a tiger that meant life or death. 259 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: So you're wired to notice negativity more. We remember the 260 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:47,560 Speaker 1: bad times more than the good times, because when something 261 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 1: bad happens, we cry for a month, and when something 262 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 1: good happens, we celebrate for one night. We don't know 263 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:59,399 Speaker 1: how to deeply immerse ourselves in what's going well, So 264 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:04,560 Speaker 1: it's so important to recognize small wins. To recognize small 265 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 1: moments of growth, to really take a step forward and 266 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:14,960 Speaker 1: give yourself an honest acknowledgment of the amount of work 267 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 1: you're putting in. We don't give ourselves enough credit. And 268 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:22,200 Speaker 1: when you don't give yourself enough credit, you don't give 269 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:28,800 Speaker 1: yourself the momentum, inspiration, and enthusiasm to continue. But hey, 270 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:32,800 Speaker 1: we're the quickest to blame ourselves. We're so quick to 271 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:38,520 Speaker 1: guilt ourselves. We're so quick to shame ourselves. But notice 272 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,119 Speaker 1: how we're not as quick to credit ourselves. We're not 273 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,600 Speaker 1: as quick to notice our growth. We're not as quick 274 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:49,119 Speaker 1: to acknowledge the steps we've made forward. And it's because 275 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,800 Speaker 1: of that that we stay held back. It's because of 276 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 1: that that we can't move forward, because we don't recognize 277 00:18:56,160 --> 00:19:00,520 Speaker 1: that we've already been taking steps. The next step is 278 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:05,480 Speaker 1: to protect your first and last hour. No phone for 279 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 1: sixty minutes, move, stretch, or go outside at night, your 280 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,439 Speaker 1: screen off sixty minutes before bed. Let your brain rest 281 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:19,959 Speaker 1: and reset. You'll sleep better, focus faster, and feel human again. 282 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 1: Starve the fake dopamine so you can taste the real 283 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:29,879 Speaker 1: kind again. You're not lazy. Social media is truly addictive. 284 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:36,360 Speaker 1: You're not unmotivated. The algorithm controls you. You're not broken, 285 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 1: you're being manipulated. You're not failing to focus. Your attention 286 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:46,160 Speaker 1: is being farmed. You're not the problem, you're the product. 287 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 1: So let's take our ownership back. The next thing I 288 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:53,480 Speaker 1: want you to try is use the five minute rule. Now, 289 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,760 Speaker 1: what's the five minute rule? It's simple, Commit to doing 290 00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 1: something for just five minutes. Then you can stop if 291 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,959 Speaker 1: you want. That's it. You tell your brain, I'm not 292 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 1: doing the whole thing. I'm just doing five minutes. I'm 293 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,280 Speaker 1: not doing a one hour workout. I'm just doing five minutes. 294 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: I'm not going to write for an hour. I'm just 295 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:15,520 Speaker 1: doing five minutes. The trick. Once you start, you almost 296 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:20,719 Speaker 1: never stop. Here's why it works. It bypasses resistance. The 297 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,480 Speaker 1: hardest part of any task isn't doing it. Psychologists call 298 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:29,200 Speaker 1: this the activation barrier. The mental energy needed to shift 299 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:33,480 Speaker 1: from thinking to doing five minutes is too small to 300 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 1: trigger fear, perfectionism, or overwhelm. Your brain says, fine, five 301 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,720 Speaker 1: minutes is nothing, I can do that. But once you're 302 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,639 Speaker 1: in motion, inertia takes over and it's easier to keep 303 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: going than to stop. The brain resists starting not continuing. 304 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 1: Listen to that again. The brain resists starting not continuing, 305 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 1: which is why if you convince yourself to do a 306 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,480 Speaker 1: five minute workout, you might do a ten minute workout, 307 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,160 Speaker 1: but if you convince yourself to do a sixty minute workout, 308 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 1: you might not even show up. Research from behavioral activation 309 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:11,640 Speaker 1: therapy shows once you start a task, your motivation increases 310 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:15,679 Speaker 1: because of the task, not before it. One of my 311 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 1: favorite quotes from zig Ziggler is, you don't have to 312 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: be great to start, but you have to start to 313 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: be great. So make starting easy, don't make it optional. 314 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:31,920 Speaker 1: Here's how you do that. Step number one, choose one 315 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 1: task you're resisting something specific answering an email, working out, 316 00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 1: cleaning your room, writing. Step two, set a five minute 317 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 1: timer physically set it. The act of seeing the countdown 318 00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 1: helps focus. Step number three tell yourself you can stop 319 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 1: when the alarm rings. Give yourself full permission to quit 320 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:58,440 Speaker 1: after five minutes, and step number four, stop and watch 321 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 1: what happens. It turns out of ten, you'll keep going. 322 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 1: If you don't, no problem. You've still built momentum and 323 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 1: self trust. And if you really want to make this work, 324 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 1: create accountability that hurts. We overestimate self discipline and underestimate 325 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:23,119 Speaker 1: social friction. Make the cost of inaction visible. Tell a 326 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,800 Speaker 1: friend your goal, post a daily update on social media. 327 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,080 Speaker 1: Bet twenty dollars against your friend as to who's going 328 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,560 Speaker 1: to get there. To the gym. We're wired to avoid loss. 329 00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:37,880 Speaker 1: Loss aversion is two point five times more powerful than 330 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 1: rewards seeking. So make doing nothing painful. Here's the rule. 331 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:49,960 Speaker 1: If it's easy to skip, you will make skipping expensive. 332 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 1: And here's the final step. End each day with a 333 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 1: three minute review. Write down three things you did. Write 334 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:04,760 Speaker 1: no matter how small. This trains your reticular activating system 335 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:09,600 Speaker 1: to notice progress, not problems. So many of us will 336 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,119 Speaker 1: end the day and think of all the things we 337 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 1: did wrong, all the mistakes we made, all the things 338 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 1: we should have done, could have done, would have done. 339 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: This rewires us to notice what we did right so 340 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:25,919 Speaker 1: we can be better tomorrow. Progress equals dopamine. Dopamine equals momentum. 341 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:33,560 Speaker 1: Momentum equals motivation. Celebrate consistency, not perfection. When you're focused 342 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 1: on perfection, you'll never feel like you're moving forward. When 343 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: you focus on the word healed or fixed, you never 344 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:47,000 Speaker 1: feel like you're healing or growing. When you focus on growth, 345 00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:50,159 Speaker 1: which means one percent better every day, one step further 346 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:54,359 Speaker 1: every day, your life will start to change. I really 347 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 1: hope this helps you takes action. I really hope this 348 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,720 Speaker 1: helps you get out of feeling lazy, and I really 349 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:03,639 Speaker 1: hope this helps you shift. Remember forever in your corner, 350 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,960 Speaker 1: and I'm always routine for you. Thank you so much 351 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 1: for listening to this conversation. If you enjoyed it, you'll 352 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 1: love my chat with Adam Grant on why discomfort is 353 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:18,200 Speaker 1: the key to growth and the strategies for unlocking your 354 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,120 Speaker 1: hidden potential. If you know you want to be more 355 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:24,439 Speaker 1: and achieve more this year, go check it out right now. 356 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: You set a goal today, you achieve it in six months, 357 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,679 Speaker 1: and then by the time it happens, it's almost a relief. 358 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 1: There's no sense of meaning and purpose. You sort of 359 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 1: expected it, and you would have been disappointed if it 360 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 1: didn't happen.