WEBVTT - “I WANT TO BE WORSHIPPED” 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:01.040 Hello, Hi. 0:00:01.280 --> 0:00:02.080 What is your name? 0:00:02.720 --> 0:00:04.120 Hi? This is Chelsea. 0:00:04.800 --> 0:00:07.960 Chelsea. What's up, Chelsea? How's your night going? 0:00:09.520 --> 0:00:09.960 It's good? 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:11.400 Is this Lyle? 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:13.520 This is yes? Yes? 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:18.040 Wow? No way have we spoken before? 0:00:19.560 --> 0:00:19.720 No? 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:22.440 Never? Well? 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:25.880 How nice we How nice that we finally get to 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:29.560 get the chat. I'm here, you know what, Chelsea, I'm 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:32.720 gonna let you know right now. I'm nowhere, but here 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:40.240 you have my full, complete, utter attention right now. I mean, 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:43.159 I don't know, I'm I feel I feel very locked 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:47.479 in today, so so let's let's do that. I'm not 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:51.040 even I'm turning all the brightness on my computer down 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:53.120 and I've been looking at the fucking computer. 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:56.440 Uh on the phone. 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:57.880 What's up, Chelsea? How you doing? 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:03.040 I'm good. I'm just I'm hanging out with this cat 0:01:03.080 --> 0:01:07.680 that I'm fostering. I just got home from being out 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:12.200 in the city. I also live in New York City. 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:15.400 What were you doing out? What were you doing out? 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:20.480 I was meeting up with a friend who we both 0:01:20.560 --> 0:01:23.520 like working for each other, but like don't meet up 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:26.480 that often, and we were just like, why don't we 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:29.399 do this? So we we finally did it, and now 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:35.160 we're planning like an October fest you know, outing on partifle. 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:38.600 So we were we were kind of like bonding over 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:40.880 the fact that, like we have all these friends that 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:43.119 are like, let's hang out, and then we never do. 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:47.520 So we're trying to take action on that. 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:49.480 That's good. Yeah, it's always good to hang out with 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:57.280 your friends, unless if your friends are our serial killers. 0:01:57.600 --> 0:01:59.680 I'm m I'm going to try to have a normal conversation. 0:01:59.720 --> 0:02:02.320 I don't know why I'm feeling the need to do 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:06.880 to do that. Okay, let me ask you this, Chelsea, 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:08.760 And it's fine if not. We can go in a 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:12.960 million different directions with directions with this. But was there 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:15.720 anything specific that you uh you said You've been listening 0:02:15.720 --> 0:02:17.840 to the podcast for a long time, so you've probably 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:21.240 heard all the things. And I'm not saying necessarily that 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:25.519 we have to talk about any depressing things from your life, 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:29.160 unless if you want to. But I am saying that, uh, 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:31.640 you know, you've been listening to the podcast, you kind 0:02:31.639 --> 0:02:36.600 of understand, uh, what's up? So I'll ask you if 0:02:36.639 --> 0:02:38.960 is there anything in particular that you wanted to dive 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:43.680 into while we're while I'm motherfucking locked in to the 0:02:43.720 --> 0:02:44.800 phone right now. 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:49.960 Well, there was something I thought of so you know 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:55.080 that one caller that was talking about they were like 0:02:55.120 --> 0:02:56.600 on their first date in the car. 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:01.679 I was just thinking of about that today, if you 0:03:01.680 --> 0:03:02.440 would believe it? 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:07.880 Okay, So I listened to that episode, and then I 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:10.720 was listening to the gek Mail episode where they followed 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:13.720 up on that. M Do you remember that? 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:14.840 How I do? 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.960 She was like, this is what, like, this is my 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:21.080 message to everyone else out there, and like I was 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:24.959 going through it like with just like a weird non 0:03:25.080 --> 0:03:31.000 relationship thing, and then that like really inspired me to, 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:38.080 you know, make an effort in like fully putting myself 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:41.520 out there and what I really want, and I think 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:45.840 I found it. And it's like it's weird, like a 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:53.200 plot twist happened, but yeah it's I gained hope from 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:56.880 that and it worked out really well. 0:03:57.480 --> 0:03:59.520 It sounds it was that easy. 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:04.720 I mean it like not easy, Like it definitely took 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:09.200 like a bunch of trials and errors, and like after 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:12.000 an error, I would go like months or maybe even 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:17.400 like years without trying anything. But then this time I 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:19.960 was just like, Okay, I'm just gonna be honest and 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:26.080 be like, you know, I'm a very emotional, romantic person 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:28.800 and like I don't want to date people that are 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:32.080 super nonchalant about stuff and pretending like we don't like 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:35.680 each other. And then I was like, I guess I 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:39.039 got lucky, or I mean, who knows, maybe this person 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:43.120 is also crazy. You never know, but it's crazy how 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:47.839 when you feel secure in something that you're not like 0:04:47.920 --> 0:04:53.279 constantly spiraling and like feeling anxious all the time. Because 0:04:53.320 --> 0:05:00.080 I definitely have anxiety over things calm. 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:04.440 So since you you've found in this secure relationship, you've 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:09.280 been feeling more calm. 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:12.919 Yeah, And I was. I was telling my sister, like 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:17.839 she lives in California, and I was like, yeah, I 0:05:17.839 --> 0:05:20.479 don't really call you as much because normally I'm like 0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:26.440 sirling out over something, but now I'm just, you know, 0:05:27.200 --> 0:05:29.960 I feel great, so I feel bad. 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:32.919 How long have you been with this guy for? 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:37.000 I mean it's only it's only been a month, but 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:41.600 it's been a very promising and consistent month, Like. 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:45.520 Yeah, this is yeah, this is this is one of 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:47.680 the can I can I ask how old you are? 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:50.560 I'm thirty two. 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:54.799 Okay, and you just met this skuy a month ago? Yeah, 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:59.720 and this is the this is the would you say 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:02.520 this is the calmest you've felt in a while. 0:06:03.920 --> 0:06:04.240 Yeah. 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:06.480 I was even telling him. I was like, I'm normally 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:11.480 I'm normally like really nervous around like guys or people 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:16.400 that I'm meeting up with, and like, I'm strangely calm. 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:19.080 Are you are you? Do you feel calm in general? 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:27.080 Yeah, which is kind of crazy because I definitely am, like, 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:33.520 like I have anxiety, I'm being treated for it. But yeah, 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.120 it's it's nice, It's very refreshing. 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:46.880 I think, Yeah, yeah, this is really funny because there's 0:06:47.240 --> 0:06:54.320 a lot of there's competing narratives that exist in the world, 0:06:54.720 --> 0:07:02.320 each of them possessing their own validities. I promise I'm 0:07:02.320 --> 0:07:05.520 going to say something. There's competing narratives in the world, 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:11.760 each of them possessing their own validities. One narrative says 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:15.680 that all you have to do to become happy is 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:20.040 to get what you want, and that's what makes sense. 0:07:20.440 --> 0:07:24.240 You know, you want love, and then when you find it, 0:07:24.320 --> 0:07:28.800 you feel better. And then there are narratives that go, 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:33.960 you actually need to not want anything, and you have 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:41.400 to be okay with being alone and poor and living 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:53.080 in a tree. And the answer, as I understand it, 0:07:53.160 --> 0:08:03.200 lies somewhere between those two places. Right, because I just 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:06.560 it's a weird, bullshit narrative. I think it's a bullshit 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:14.960 narrative that yeah, uh, you know you're supposed to be 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:19.360 totally okay being alone. I think it pisses people off. 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:24.280 But on the flip side is, of course, if your 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:30.600 whole life mission is to uh find someone to make 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:39.120 you not anxious, then there's something weird. It's not a 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:43.880 it's like very not black and white in either direction. 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:47.320 That's just what I don't That's just what's going That's 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:49.880 just what's going through my mind as I'm hearing you 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:51.920 talk about this. What did you see? 0:08:52.600 --> 0:08:54.880 No, I was gonna say, like I saw something where 0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:57.880 it's like everyone says that, you know, it takes a 0:08:58.000 --> 0:09:04.960 village and everyone needs their village. But nowadays people can't 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:09.840 really deal with being inconvenienced. But that's kind of the 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:13.400 point of like having those people is like you know, 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:16.960 you would go out of your way to make them 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:23.520 feel included. And I think that's like it's something that 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.880 I've thought about, you know, when it comes to like 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:30.880 having people in your life, Like, am I getting back 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:32.760 as much as I put in? And I feel like 0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:36.520 nowadays people are so quick to write things off as like, 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:40.520 you know, well, I'm not really getting anything in return, 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:44.040 so like I'm just not gonna put any effort into it. 0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:49.800 But yeah, uh, it's a give and take, so you 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:54.280 feel calm. Yeah, it's very strange. 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:56.880 This is the first time you're thirty two. This is 0:09:56.880 --> 0:09:58.559 the first time you ever felt. 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:05.319 Calm, I mean relationship wise. Yeah, it's like I haven't 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:16.080 had much experience in adult relationships, but yeah, it feels nice. 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:19.240 Mm hm hm hmm. 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:23.160 That's good. 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:29.000 Yeah. I was gonna say, but I got into your 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:32.880 podcast because I used to go on long walks and 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:35.760 just like listen to your podcast whenever I would be 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:40.480 like crashing out over something, and it really helps to, 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:45.520 you know, just listen to other people's stories and perspective. 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:50.320 And I would recommend it to my friends whenever they're 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:52.760 going through something. I would be like, I go on 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:55.280 these things called email walks, and I would just put 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:58.160 on my headphones and walk around the city and listen 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:00.920 to a podcast. That way, I'm not like thinking about 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:02.199 my own situations. 0:11:02.440 --> 0:11:07.280 I'm I'm I'm happy to be uh an accompaniment of 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:15.520 your emo walk. I treat I'm honored dear that hmm. 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:17.520 Hmmm. 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:26.280 So this is the so after many years, you're like, Okay, 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:29.920 let me finally really try to put myself out there. 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:34.600 And yeah, and I think what really also clicked was 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:40.840 like being honest with myself and like it's okay that 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:47.400 I'm I feel like I'm needy in relationships and you know, 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.320 now I've learned, like you know, you'll find some You'll 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:53.200 find someone that is okay with that. Because this guy 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:56.800 was like, I want to worship you, and you know, 0:11:57.000 --> 0:12:00.920 I want to be with you. And he was very 0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:04.640 you know, vocal about he said. 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.280 He said he wanted to worship you. 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:10.200 Yeah, and then I told him, I was like, I 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:13.760 think that's like my thing, I think, and that's I 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:16.240 think that's a thing that people have, your. 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:19.079 Your your your thing is that you want to be worshiped. 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:27.120 Yes, and yeah. We had a whole conversation about it, 0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:29.760 and she's on board. 0:12:31.760 --> 0:12:39.640 Wow. Interesting, what is that? What does that mean to 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:40.839 you to be worshiped? 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:51.520 I mean like so far, it's just like it's the attentiveness. 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.480 You know, he'll text me every night and every morning 0:12:54.600 --> 0:12:58.880 like good morning, beautiful, Chelsea, good night beautiful Chelsea. It's 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:04.400 very it's very sweet and romantic and yeah, I feel 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:07.079 like I have this full attention a lot of times, 0:13:07.160 --> 0:13:07.839 which is great. 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:09.520 See how older or younger? 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:17.080 He's two years younger. But I'm a I am a 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:20.119 benevolent goddess, not malevolent. 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:28.120 Mm hmmmm okay, okay, does that worry you at all? 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:32.160 Like do you risk? Can you have respect for someone 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:33.560 who blindly worships you? 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:37.080 I mean. 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:42.000 I do in a sense of like we we really 0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:49.120 had a connection before this conversation came up, and you know, 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:52.400 we were both like, is it love bombing if we're 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:57.400 both on board with it and into it? I don't know, 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:02.280 but no, I I think I respect it because to me, 0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:06.240 I feel like a man who can lean into his 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:11.079 romantic side. Like I like that because I've dated guys 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:13.480 before where like they won't even hold my hand, and 0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:17.280 I'm just like, what's the point, Like do you even 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:17.680 like me? 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:20.880 You know guys who won't hold your fucking hand? 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:25.000 Yeah? No, these exist, They're out there. 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:27.320 And crazy. 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:32.360 Yeah, so I don't know, Like growing up, I would 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:35.160 be like eupda, But now that I'm in a relationship, 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:39.520 I'm like, no, I like PDA, like to to a 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:44.560 reasonable extent, But it's I feel like it's just been 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:49.200 a process of like being honest with myself and like, no, 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:52.800 I like feeling this way or I like these things, 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:56.880 and it's okay, how did you How did. 0:14:56.760 --> 0:15:00.360 You meet this this gentlemen? 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:06.320 I met him on Hinge? I had the app for like, 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:11.440 I've downloaded it and deleted it many a time, and 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:16.160 this time I redownloaded it and it was about like 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:21.960 a weekend and he seemed nice. 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:29.320 Mm hmmmm, that's really nice. It sounds uh, this sounds good. 0:15:29.400 --> 0:15:36.520 This sounds like a good thing. Maybe probably probably probably 0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:38.680 it's probably a good thing. 0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:45.040 Yeah yeah, I mean it gives you hopefully optimistic. 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:46.080 Yeah yeah, I mean. 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:51.360 Uh, pautiously optimistic good things. 0:15:51.120 --> 0:16:00.720 Happening in your life is good? Yeah, yes, right, right right. 0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:02.840 I don't know where. I don't know where I came. 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.720 I'm sorry, I hope. I feel like this is connected 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:08.680 to what you're saying. At least in my brain it is. 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:14.800 But I think I somewhere along the line fell into 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:21.680 some stoic ideation that you know, you should enjoy life 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:25.080 however it is. But and there's truth to this, truth 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:35.120 to that, but also uh, falsehood to it. I think, Yeah, 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:36.680 be careful. I guess I don't know. 0:16:37.320 --> 0:16:41.880 Yeah, no, I'm definitely like I feel like I've had 0:16:42.080 --> 0:16:48.760 enough experiences dabbling in relationships and like I yeah, I'm 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:50.479 seeing green green flags. 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:56.680 Good good. Chelsea. There's a whole neighborhood in New York 0:16:56.720 --> 0:16:57.400 called Chelsea. 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:00.520 I know I work in that neighborhood. I have to 0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:03.360 really like close my ears all the time. 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:14.680 Chelsea and Chelsea. Yeah, mm hmmm, well what now it's Chelsea? Yeah, 0:17:14.720 --> 0:17:15.879 before we go? What now? 0:17:16.720 --> 0:17:17.000 What's? 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:19.480 Uh? What now? 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:20.359 What now? 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:20.840 Chelsea? 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:26.120 I think we just have to be honest with ourselves 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:33.280 in what we want and at the same time, you know, 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:40.000 be cautious, but don't stop yourself from putting yourself out there, 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:42.720 you know, Yollo. 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:46.199 Is there anything else you want to say to the 0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:49.160 people of the computer before we go? Chelsea? 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:55.520 Yes, I've thought about this. Get a bidet if you 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:57.359 don't have one. 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:01.159 We need a bidet sponsor. I'm dying to get a 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:04.800 good day. Man. I hate my asshole is always changing 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:07.840 covered in diarrhea. I'm trying to get a good day. 0:18:09.119 --> 0:18:11.639 Yeah, it'll change your life. It's a great feeling. 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:14.560 Thank you, Chelsea. You have a good rest of the night. 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:16.840 Bye. Thank you. 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:22.919 Hello, what's up? 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:23.160 Man? 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:25.680 Hey? What's up? 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:26.680 What's your name? 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:31.320 Not much, man, I just wanted to see you. Know, No, 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:32.960 I feel like no one ever hass how you're doing? 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:34.119 How are you doing, buddy? 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:35.040 How am I doing? 0:18:36.320 --> 0:18:36.840 Yes, sir? 0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:46.040 My honest answer is that I actually I don't really 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:47.879 want to talk about how I'm doing, to be honest, 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:49.840 but I want to talk about how you're doing. You 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:53.840 texted me? Can I tell? You texted me? And you 0:18:53.920 --> 0:18:58.800 said Chelsea was kind of crazy, a lot of red 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:04.280 flags in her and that relationship. And yeah, I don't 0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:10.359 know if I necessarily agree, but I would love to 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:12.840 have the conversation as to why you believe that. 0:19:15.280 --> 0:19:19.720 I just feel like a month in and wanting to 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:25.000 be worshiped is kind of something I wouldn't necessarily think 0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:32.200 is the most healthy thing. M Being in a situation 0:19:32.359 --> 0:19:35.000 that I have been in before, where you know, you 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:42.119 get a little bit obsessed about someone, not necessarily obsessed, 0:19:42.119 --> 0:19:46.440 but really enthralled with it can lead to some really 0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:47.119 hard times. 0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:53.240 Tell Okay, it sounds like you're speaking from some form 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:57.680 of personal experience. Do you do you care to share? 0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:04.840 Uh? Yeah, So basically, it just you know, you get 0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:09.440 you get really attached to someone, and then when things 0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:14.919 aren't always ideal, you know, health issues, things of that 0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:19.240 nature start to occur. A lot of hardship happens. And 0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:24.520 when someone grows accustomed to being quote unquote worshiped, it 0:20:24.720 --> 0:20:29.120 tends to lead to a lot of troubled times when 0:20:30.240 --> 0:20:32.760 you know you can't you can't do that for them, 0:20:32.800 --> 0:20:35.280 when you need to try and focus on yourself, If 0:20:35.280 --> 0:20:39.960 that makes any sense. Yes, and so I'm worried that, 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:45.159 you know, and I mean no disrespector but it's just 0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:48.520 it can lead to a lot of really hard times 0:20:48.560 --> 0:20:51.920 down the road when that's what your relationship is kind 0:20:51.920 --> 0:20:57.719 of become and almost based on, and it no longer is. 0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:01.920 Yeah, I see what you mean. I see what you mean, 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:05.840 because something can start off with a dynamic of I 0:21:05.880 --> 0:21:10.640 want to worship you, and then you can debate as 0:21:10.760 --> 0:21:22.600 to how uh fuck you can debate as to how 0:21:23.119 --> 0:21:28.040 sustainable that dynamic is. Yes, I agree, exactly, I agree exactly. 0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:30.240 I agree, And that. 0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:33.760 Can lead to a lot of really really tough decisions 0:21:33.800 --> 0:21:36.480 and hard times, you know, a little bit farther down 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:41.040 the road. Not necessarily saying that it will always happen, 0:21:41.119 --> 0:21:46.560 but it definitely can, and most times it leads to 0:21:47.920 --> 0:21:50.800 really tough decisions that are later in life. I mean, 0:21:51.720 --> 0:21:53.840 I know that she was in her early thirties, so 0:21:54.720 --> 0:21:57.680 you know, if it happens when you're forty, these things 0:21:57.680 --> 0:22:03.320 can become even more like stating how old are you, sir, 0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:05.600 I'm thirty one. 0:22:07.440 --> 0:22:11.600 Did you have a woman in your life once you 0:22:12.760 --> 0:22:14.080 you worshiped. 0:22:15.440 --> 0:22:19.800 I wouldn't say worshiped, but it was like a heavy codependency. 0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:23.960 Sure, yeah yeah, or that want or or that wanted 0:22:24.000 --> 0:22:26.399 you to worship her. 0:22:27.960 --> 0:22:33.680 Innocent. Yeah, like a big sense of not like what 0:22:33.920 --> 0:22:36.919 you do for me, but always expecting me to, you know, 0:22:37.040 --> 0:22:42.840 be the provider of financial or emotional or mental help. 0:22:44.480 --> 0:22:51.480 Yeah, it's funny, I I I've had my own experience 0:22:51.560 --> 0:22:57.600 with something like this, and it was hard to gauge 0:22:57.640 --> 0:23:03.160 because I actually I enjoy I enjoyed it. I'd lie 0:23:03.200 --> 0:23:05.239 if I say if I said I didn't enjoy it, 0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:09.439 because I liked I liked the idea of providing, and 0:23:09.480 --> 0:23:13.439 I liked it. It made me super happy too to 0:23:13.560 --> 0:23:15.440 do things for this person and. 0:23:15.359 --> 0:23:21.640 To exactly that feeling of being needed is always it's fulfilling. 0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:26.760 It's the best, it's the best. I mean, yeah, I 0:23:26.800 --> 0:23:29.080 was thinking of today there was this I went to 0:23:29.119 --> 0:23:33.879 like pick up a like a shirt for for for 0:23:33.960 --> 0:23:37.680 this lady late at night, and she was like, you're 0:23:37.680 --> 0:23:39.600 my hero. And I was like, Oh, that's the best 0:23:39.640 --> 0:23:45.159 feeling in the world, you know. Yeah, but I and 0:23:45.240 --> 0:23:48.520 so there's actually you know, I I know, I know 0:23:48.800 --> 0:23:54.080 from the guy's perspective as to why that feels so good, 0:23:56.480 --> 0:23:58.800 then why that you know, even though I guess it 0:23:58.840 --> 0:24:02.600 doesn't on paper sound like a good arrangement, but it 0:24:04.000 --> 0:24:08.560 can feel really amazing to you know, feel needed, to 0:24:08.800 --> 0:24:13.480 feel like you're really taking care of somebody else and whatnot. 0:24:13.720 --> 0:24:21.640 But I also, again from that perspective, understand why that 0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:27.200 can be unsustainable over over a long period of time. Yes, 0:24:27.720 --> 0:24:31.080 I don't think that that's a Yeah, people change and 0:24:31.119 --> 0:24:39.240 feelings change in situations changed, and I can see why. Yeah, 0:24:39.600 --> 0:24:45.560 it's not I think it can be an element of 0:24:45.600 --> 0:24:54.480 a relationship, but if it's the basis of it, it can. Yeah, 0:24:54.560 --> 0:25:02.080 it can lead to to to resentments and all these 0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:06.280 other things. But it's enticing, and it's enticing on both sides. 0:25:06.320 --> 0:25:09.520 It's enticing for the for the woman who is you know, 0:25:09.640 --> 0:25:11.840 getting that kind of treatment. It's enticing for the man 0:25:11.920 --> 0:25:19.800 who uh is enthralled by his opportunity to provide that 0:25:19.960 --> 0:25:24.320 kind of treatments. You know, some people some people make it. 0:25:24.560 --> 0:25:27.040 Some people fucking make it work. Some people really are 0:25:27.119 --> 0:25:34.640 just like, everyone has different modest operendis I think I'm saying. 0:25:34.640 --> 0:25:36.560 Is am I saying that? Hold on, I'm gonna completely 0:25:36.600 --> 0:25:41.600 interrupt discovercy? Is it modus operendi? Okay, all right, I 0:25:41.600 --> 0:25:46.760 got it right. Some people have different em os and 0:25:46.840 --> 0:25:50.159 for someone, their mo might be I want to fucking 0:25:50.680 --> 0:25:53.520 like that's their thing, Like that's their addiction, like like 0:25:53.520 --> 0:25:56.960 like it's actually kind of funny and and works, and 0:25:57.000 --> 0:26:01.600 honestly is probably the basis of like inherent human biology. 0:26:02.640 --> 0:26:04.280 That It's like there are a lot of there are 0:26:04.400 --> 0:26:06.160 a lot of women out there who are like I 0:26:06.240 --> 0:26:09.600 just want I want to be taken care of. I 0:26:09.640 --> 0:26:12.840 want to be a princess, I want to be worship 0:26:12.960 --> 0:26:17.480 That's like the thing that I want. And there are 0:26:17.480 --> 0:26:19.320 guys out there, and then and then for every one 0:26:19.359 --> 0:26:21.320 of those women, there's a guy out there who's like, 0:26:22.800 --> 0:26:27.360 I want to just give all of my money to someone, 0:26:27.920 --> 0:26:31.159 just have all of my money, have all of my 0:26:31.320 --> 0:26:35.680 money and look at me sometimes and that would make 0:26:35.720 --> 0:26:42.000 me so so happy. And I don't know, I don't 0:26:42.000 --> 0:26:47.520 think any of I don't I place no moral value 0:26:47.640 --> 0:26:56.680 judgment on either of those emos. But yeah, they coexist. Yeah, 0:26:56.840 --> 0:27:05.040 and I'm sure there's fucking long term relationship will however, 0:27:05.640 --> 0:27:11.720 long term ish relationships that operate that way. But they 0:27:11.760 --> 0:27:15.560 have kinks, for sure, what you're saying, they have kinks. 0:27:16.000 --> 0:27:22.840 Yeah, really sput on advice with being cautious. It can 0:27:22.840 --> 0:27:25.280 be a little bit dangerous when it's you know, a 0:27:25.320 --> 0:27:30.040 month in right and that's going on, especially like not 0:27:30.080 --> 0:27:33.120 saying that Chelsea is or any by any means, but 0:27:33.440 --> 0:27:39.399 if somebody could be emotionally unstable and then having this dynamic, 0:27:39.920 --> 0:27:44.440 it could turn into something very toxic and really hurtful. 0:27:44.600 --> 0:27:48.040 Dan h Yeah, I see what you man, and I 0:27:48.119 --> 0:27:55.400 appreciate you going at this from a logical perspective, because, yeah, 0:27:55.480 --> 0:28:00.040 the emotional roller coaster is kind of running high. But 0:28:00.080 --> 0:28:03.240 for Chelsea as someone and I don't know if I 0:28:03.320 --> 0:28:05.439 dove too deep into it with her, but as somebody 0:28:05.480 --> 0:28:09.800 who you know, I get it if she's been so 0:28:10.000 --> 0:28:14.960 anxious for so long to be like I mean, at 0:28:15.000 --> 0:28:17.760 thirty two to fucking just be like, why do I 0:28:18.320 --> 0:28:21.080 just have to find something that kind of works? And 0:28:21.119 --> 0:28:24.240 for like a month you have a thing where you're like, 0:28:24.400 --> 0:28:27.840 oh my god, am I I did. I didn't know 0:28:29.119 --> 0:28:34.920