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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie, and welcome to stuff. I've never

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Speaker 1: told your protection of I Heart Radio's house. Stuff works.

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Speaker 1: And since I just got back from a trip that

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Speaker 1: I mentioned, I got back from Hawaii, don't. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: that's fair. And we're about to have some days off

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Speaker 1: for Independence Day here in the United States. We're doing

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Speaker 1: a lighter episode today on routine routine? Are you a

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Speaker 1: routine person, Samantha, I don't necessarily have routines, but more

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Speaker 1: like a list of habits. Yeah, I will say I'm

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Speaker 1: all about not making decisions of at all possible or

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Speaker 1: doing things. I just also don't want to do things.

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Speaker 1: Is that legitimate? I don't know. I mean, clearly it's happening,

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Speaker 1: So I guess it's more of like, not having a

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Speaker 1: routine is my routine. Oh, I have heard that as

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Speaker 1: a philosophy. So you might be onto somewhere just saying

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Speaker 1: is it working? Not quite sure. It's a fun adventure

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Speaker 1: every day. I have a lot of friends that would

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Speaker 1: relate to that, actually, and I actually I have a

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Speaker 1: group of friends who were all indecisive, and it's terrible

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Speaker 1: anytime we're like where should we eat? Two hours later? Man,

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Speaker 1: I'm really hungry. Where should we eat? We're angry now,

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Speaker 1: we're super angry. A lot of times we'll look through

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Speaker 1: Netflix for a movie to watch and just give up.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I think that's probably the reason I

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Speaker 1: rewatched so many things. I'm like, I don't want to.

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Speaker 1: I know this is gonna be safe. Let me watch

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Speaker 1: this again. Oh I do that all. And now I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna have to replace Office because Netflix and BC is

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Speaker 1: pulling it. Not for a couple of years. And a

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Speaker 1: lot of things are changing. A lot of things are changing.

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Speaker 1: Why do the things have to change? Um? And if

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Speaker 1: you're curious, what routine might have to do with women

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Speaker 1: and feminism, actually a lot, and we will get into that,

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Speaker 1: but as always, let's start with the definition definition time

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Speaker 1: a sequence of actions regularly followed a fixed program. That

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Speaker 1: is what dictionary dot com defines as a routine, or

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Speaker 1: more simply, a series of habits. In the words of

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Speaker 1: an article from Psychology Today's meg Selig, Um, Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I feel the more I thought about it, the more

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Speaker 1: I was like, Yes, humans are creatures of habit. We

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Speaker 1: have routines, structures, schedules. Um. I that study. I love

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Speaker 1: that study where they looked into there's no assigned seats,

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Speaker 1: and yet people always sit in the same and they

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Speaker 1: get angry. It's kind of the whole church fatality, you know,

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Speaker 1: the old school ideas of like you're in my seat,

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Speaker 1: but like this is a church I don't understand, and

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Speaker 1: people really get upset about their one spot I've never

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Speaker 1: heard about. Oh yeah, don't don't mess with it. It's

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Speaker 1: also a sign of respect sometimes if you think on

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Speaker 1: like if there's a person who has been this charge

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Speaker 1: for twenty something years, I've set in this one spot,

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Speaker 1: and then you try to disrupt that. How dare you? I?

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Speaker 1: I guess because I went to my church maybe has

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Speaker 1: had twenty members. There was never a an occasion. I mean,

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Speaker 1: even like when new people came in, you always sit

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Speaker 1: in the back when you're new, right, right right, I

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Speaker 1: like to be remember the T zone Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: yeah yeah, right now Annie is trying to act it

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Speaker 1: out for me because I'm doing it for you. Is

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Speaker 1: the front row and then the middle right and yeah,

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Speaker 1: you sat to like be in your teacher's best graces.

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Speaker 1: And I liked the back of the T zone. I

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Speaker 1: like being in the middle. I feel like it was

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Speaker 1: very inconspicuous, so you don't pay to the person in

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Speaker 1: the back, because automatically back people are going to this

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Speaker 1: trouble makers and fun people are are than know it

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Speaker 1: alls in the middle, so you are about the reputation

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Speaker 1: around it. Yeah. I'm like, I'm just gonna be silent

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Speaker 1: and hopefully I'll disappear. That's that's a lot, let's keep going. Um.

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Speaker 1: Routines do make things easier in theory that it's less

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Speaker 1: to think about every day. Um. And when I searched

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Speaker 1: women routine online, almost all all of the top results

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Speaker 1: were for makeup and then like three pages in working out,

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Speaker 1: which I think does say a lot. Yeah, so we

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Speaker 1: thought we'd we'd have a fun for us. I guess

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Speaker 1: thought experiment comparing our routines. Yeah, and I love once again.

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Speaker 1: We were just previously talking about how you had written

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Speaker 1: your thing out and I came behind like, holy crap,

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Speaker 1: I'm like an equivalent of the rat just running around

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Speaker 1: a tragicy like what can I find? Where's this one?

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Speaker 1: I'm like, Wow, great, Annie, thanks for looking so adult

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Speaker 1: like and seemingly put together while I'm over here just

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Speaker 1: hoping too not fall a bart. I think that might

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Speaker 1: be the first time since I've become an adult someone's

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Speaker 1: called me an adult. When I was a kid, I

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Speaker 1: got called an adult a lot. You are an adult.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, You're welcome. Thank you. Okay. So my weekends,

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Speaker 1: I will say, are all over the place their day.

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Speaker 1: But week days, the morning I wake up between six

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Speaker 1: and seven thirty, I do not send an alarm unless

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Speaker 1: I have something like way earlier than that, or I'm

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Speaker 1: really nervous about missing it because my body is just

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Speaker 1: like it just automatically wakes up that but point I mean,

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Speaker 1: I definitely have that timeframe too, but not that early. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't like it, but that's how it is. Um.

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Speaker 1: I drink a glass of water, run four to eight

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Speaker 1: miles usually six. UM and I drink more water, do

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Speaker 1: some kind of like weightlifting, push up thing, eat breakfast,

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Speaker 1: fresh my tea, shower, get dressed, which can take a

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Speaker 1: while for me to decide what to wear because it's

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Speaker 1: mostly weather based. But I feel like I look so

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Speaker 1: frumpy every day. I'm basically wearing workout clothes at work

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Speaker 1: very often. That's not true. You had a nice little

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Speaker 1: jersey on yesterday, So that's an adult, very adult I am. Um,

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Speaker 1: I when I wear makeup. I do wear makeup every

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Speaker 1: day actually generally, but it's like tented lip gloss and

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Speaker 1: mask here and sometimes eyeliner sometimes. Um. And then I

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Speaker 1: walked to work, drink a cup coffee with a shot

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Speaker 1: of espresso, um, usually while watching YouTube videos. And then

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Speaker 1: at night when I get home, if I don't have

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Speaker 1: anywhere to be, which is a rare, beautiful thing. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm probably out of my clothes in like less than

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Speaker 1: a minute in a long T shirt. And that's that's it.

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Speaker 1: I tried to write thirty minutes to day, and I

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Speaker 1: used to read thirty minute today, but that is not

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Speaker 1: a thing anymore. Um. And then I stretch most of

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Speaker 1: the time. I try to stretch. And then thirty minutes

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Speaker 1: before I go to sleep, I stopped taking my phone,

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Speaker 1: which has caused a lot of my friends to be

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Speaker 1: very confused because they know I stay up late and

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Speaker 1: I have the best of intentions of going to bed

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Speaker 1: at like ten thirty, right, and then I just that's

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Speaker 1: a great habit, though, to turn off your phone, especially

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Speaker 1: in this day and age and all the things that

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Speaker 1: you see and how it rolls you up. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I have a lot of trouble sleeping. So I've

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Speaker 1: taken all of the tips, I've tried all the things,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not sure that this helps, but I like

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Speaker 1: to think that it probably does. Um and generally sleep

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Speaker 1: from eleven pm to one am. That is the time,

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Speaker 1: you know. That's it's super interesting because I think you're

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Speaker 1: like the fourth woman that I've spoken to about having

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Speaker 1: this very limited amount of sleep. Because for me, if

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Speaker 1: I don't have at least six hours and even then,

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Speaker 1: i'm I'm a very moody person. But typically I can

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Speaker 1: sleep till I don't know, eight to nine to ten

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Speaker 1: hours long. If I can. Of course, after a while

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Speaker 1: it gets really ugly anyway, but it's really fascinating to hear.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, how do you function? Yeah, that was another

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Speaker 1: thing that came up, and I think this is a

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Speaker 1: separate episode that I'd love to return to because one

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Speaker 1: of the when I was looking into like the health

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Speaker 1: benefits of routine versus not having a routine, a lot

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Speaker 1: of the articles were about how women are not getting

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Speaker 1: enough sleep and it was called like the new luxury tax,

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Speaker 1: like people who can afford to sleep? Right? It really

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Speaker 1: is because you don't people don't have enough time in

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Speaker 1: a day to accomplish everything they need to, they want to,

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Speaker 1: They're supposed to, its right, and I am not. I'm

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Speaker 1: just someone who has difficulty sleeping. They were they were

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Speaker 1: specifically talking about like if you have two jobs and

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Speaker 1: you don't on the car, so you have to wake

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Speaker 1: up so early to commute those kinds of things. Um,

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Speaker 1: children getting them to work, all those kinds of stuff.

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Speaker 1: So that's definitely something I would love to return to

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Speaker 1: sleep new episode idea. Yes, all the time. And this

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Speaker 1: is I will say, this is what I call a

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Speaker 1: good night. I not infrequently have bad nights where I

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Speaker 1: get what I call surprise drunk. That's a great title.

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Speaker 1: It's surprise drunk because you weren't intending to go out

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Speaker 1: that night and you did, and you got drunk, and

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Speaker 1: then you stay out till three am. Um, and I

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Speaker 1: have this it's been this many days since incident. Do

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Speaker 1: you for this specifically, I've never gotten past four. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: If I if I remember to brush my teeth and

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Speaker 1: wash my face and I don't fall asleep on the

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Speaker 1: floor or the couch, then that's the six Did you

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Speaker 1: just say the floor? Do you typically fall asleep on

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Speaker 1: the floor I often wake up on the floor after

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Speaker 1: a night like this. Oh yeah, that makes my body

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Speaker 1: heart just the thought of that. It's because I like

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Speaker 1: I'm stretching and then I just like lay back and

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Speaker 1: that the night. I guess that could be a worse

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Speaker 1: places that you could fall asleep up. It's not a

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Speaker 1: yoga mat. Well, you know you got a match. I

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Speaker 1: was kind of like one of the kindergarten that maps. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: It was exactly one of those. Um, if it's the

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Speaker 1: first of the month, I have a whole calendar filling

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Speaker 1: out thing, and if it's the first of the week,

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Speaker 1: I have a whole like cooking and preparing thing. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's that's kind of my routine. I mean, that's pretty impressive.

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Speaker 1: I do like that you have your weekends to be

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Speaker 1: open to do your thing. Like everybody needs to have

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Speaker 1: a non planned time that maybe I'm just too much

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Speaker 1: up an introvert to be like, oh god, I have

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Speaker 1: to plan every minute the day, I'm gonna lose my mind.

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Speaker 1: Like that makes me panic. Oh I don't want to

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Speaker 1: look at my calendar. Oh god, I can't. I can't.

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Speaker 1: It's also one of those things like my phone if

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Speaker 1: I see too many like notifications, I lose it. Like

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Speaker 1: one of my really good friends and co workers, she

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Speaker 1: always has it at them, like I can't look I can't.

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Speaker 1: I can't look at your phone. Yeah, I just can't.

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Speaker 1: That is stressful. But I use them as like to

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Speaker 1: do list, like I'm marking off. I can plead this notification,

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Speaker 1: I can pleave this note, and that's and that's for

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Speaker 1: her the same thing and or a reminder. Yes, well,

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Speaker 1: let's talk about I don't even I don't even like

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to avoid this. Dang it. Well. Obviously, as

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Speaker 1: I said before, my life is not so much about

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Speaker 1: routine but more so about habits. So essentially, I have

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Speaker 1: a bunch of things I typically do in a day,

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Speaker 1: but I don't have specific times necessarily. It's just kind

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Speaker 1: of estimated time frames. Everything is all about the round roundabouts.

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Speaker 1: But I was also thinking, like, I love that we

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Speaker 1: thought of this episode because people were able to relate

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Speaker 1: to the my step in home take braw off routine.

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Speaker 1: Everyone or honestly trying to get away during the whole

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Speaker 1: entire day, whether it's me going to my day job

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Speaker 1: officer here and be like, how can I get away

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Speaker 1: with not wearing a bra. It's amazing, much like orbits

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Speaker 1: how much, Oh my gosh. Sometimes I changed so many

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Speaker 1: outfits just so I don't have to wear a brab

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Speaker 1: But I love that that's where we are. And for me,

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Speaker 1: when I come home, only does the brock come off,

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Speaker 1: the pants come off. And I don't have roommates. I

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Speaker 1: will say that I wasn't able to be like I

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Speaker 1: remember having roommates and being like, you wouldn't need to

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Speaker 1: text me before you get home, and especially if you're

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Speaker 1: bringing your partner with you, because this is gonna be

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Speaker 1: really shocking for all of us. But my routine, like

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Speaker 1: I said before, it's a little bit more of a

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Speaker 1: lack of routine. I also do often say I'm a

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Speaker 1: mask and you know, like I said, I read you

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Speaker 1: through your stuff and I was like, well, great, great, Annie,

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Speaker 1: Who could I have in between as a buffer? So

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Speaker 1: they forget how put together you see and compare to me. Um,

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Speaker 1: So you know, coming back to thinking like maybe I

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Speaker 1: need to rethink my process. I don't know what this

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Speaker 1: is a comparison thing what works from home, but whatever,

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Speaker 1: but at the sametimes, you can like, maybe I should

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Speaker 1: try a little harder that was the other part. But

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Speaker 1: I think it's all has something to do with the

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Speaker 1: need to not have a plan, like for me, a

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Speaker 1: vacation is not making decisions and to try to shed

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Speaker 1: off that day so that I went to in and

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Speaker 1: uh when did I go? Not too long ago, I

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Speaker 1: think for my birthday. I went for my birthday and

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Speaker 1: they kept asking me because they were trying to play

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Speaker 1: great being a good hostess and trying to make sure

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Speaker 1: that I can get everything I want to be whatever

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Speaker 1: I want to do in that list, and I'm like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you don't understand. The only two things I want is

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Speaker 1: I want to see a sheep. Actually, I said I

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Speaker 1: want to hug a sheep in England. I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: I just came to my head. And I want to

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Speaker 1: see a quaint area. I feel like you could do

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Speaker 1: both of those two virtual on stone things right right.

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Speaker 1: I never did get the hugg with a sheep. I

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Speaker 1: was very upset about that. I want you to know

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Speaker 1: that I kept screaming at people about why can't I

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Speaker 1: hug a sheep? Random people, We're not gonna go there,

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Speaker 1: And I'd like to yellow people a lot. You know this,

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Speaker 1: But I think this has a lot to do with

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Speaker 1: just my overall burnout with my day jobs I've talked

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Speaker 1: about often, and just the self care um and of course,

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Speaker 1: as we've talked about in our Trauma series, I am

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Speaker 1: a really big proponent of self care. I think it's

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Speaker 1: really important and to me, a lot of what I

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Speaker 1: do is very much based on a stress reliever or

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Speaker 1: shutting off the brain. But that's my my kind of handle,

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Speaker 1: that's kind of my is it everyday life. The not

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Speaker 1: social worker, not fixer, not talker portion of my life

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Speaker 1: is just to shut my brain down, and I think,

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Speaker 1: um and with that, I was just also thinking about

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Speaker 1: why routines or the lack of routines important, especially when

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Speaker 1: it comes to burnout. The research completed by Montreal University

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Speaker 1: states that women are more likely to experience burnout and

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Speaker 1: with that, the National Academy and Medicine did a specific

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Speaker 1: study with physicians which was noted that many of the

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Speaker 1: female physicians were more likely to experience burn out as well.

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Speaker 1: You know, so it within those types of fields. I thought,

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Speaker 1: this is part of my release from being burnt out,

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Speaker 1: um and and feeling like I had to put the

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Speaker 1: world on our shoulders, which is not true. I'm a

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Speaker 1: very small part of a bigger picture, of course, and

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Speaker 1: I'm not the only one working these things, just you know,

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Speaker 1: just having that as a daily thing. Um. And with

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Speaker 1: the female physicians, I feel like could be linked with

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Speaker 1: also social workers and nurses and obviously all of those

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Speaker 1: they're more likely to suffer burnout due to emotional exhaustion,

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Speaker 1: and I think that says a lot. That's where they

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Speaker 1: talked about men being more burned out because of cynicism,

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Speaker 1: and I think that exhaustion, that emotionally exhaustion, is what

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Speaker 1: makes me just want to shut down because it is freaking,

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Speaker 1: freaking taxing to feel like, oh God, us failed, you know,

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Speaker 1: or caring so much. And I think for me, I

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Speaker 1: have both the cynicism and the emotional exhaustion. And but

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Speaker 1: of course we know that cynism is a sign of burnout,

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Speaker 1: so kind of all links to together. So with that,

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Speaker 1: all of my routines, including self care, include self care.

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Speaker 1: But the ability to do nothing is probably what I

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Speaker 1: love and try to cling to the moss. So from

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Speaker 1: my routine, it literally is coming home from wherever it is,

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Speaker 1: whether it's from the house of worksplace or my day

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Speaker 1: job or traveling because I have to do a lot

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Speaker 1: of traveling to inspect different placements. As such, I walk in,

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Speaker 1: make sure, uh to talk to my dog Peaches, because

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Speaker 1: she's right there waiting for me, and of course we

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Speaker 1: have an intimate conversation about how much she missed me,

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Speaker 1: and she understands everything I say, obviously, And then immediately

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Speaker 1: throwing my stuff on the floor where and this is

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00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,120
Speaker 1: where it's chaos, because I'm like, I don't care where

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Speaker 1: it goes, it's just it's just gonna land here. Uh,

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Speaker 1: And then take off my shoes, take off my bra

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Speaker 1: and most of the times, yeah, just take off the pants.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, and it doesn't matter what I'm wearing.

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Speaker 1: If yeah, it's like nope, that's it. That's all coming off. Um.

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Speaker 1: And then I usually sit, and for me, that might

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Speaker 1: include a nap that might include watching whatever we run

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Speaker 1: I want to watch. Where might include me playing Candy

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Speaker 1: Crush on my phone. That's been a thing people make

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Speaker 1: fun of me. And I also do word searches. I

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Speaker 1: love doing worst and I also I am a multitasker,

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Speaker 1: so after two often I'll be doing a two out

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Speaker 1: of three. So well, yeah, I may have the TV

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Speaker 1: on as I nap or how am I be doing

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Speaker 1: the worst such as I watch TV like it's kind

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Speaker 1: of that type of thing. It's just for me to

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Speaker 1: space out. Um. And then for me in the mornings, uh,

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely one of those set an alarm and then

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Speaker 1: put it on snooze six times, oh my goodness, at

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Speaker 1: least three or four times for sure, and I'm like, yeah, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: I hear you, Okay, I hate you. Okay, this is

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Speaker 1: the worst day ever. The best attitude. I have the

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Speaker 1: best attitude when waking up, which also inevitably means I'm

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Speaker 1: scrambling around trying to get ready as fast as possible,

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Speaker 1: and that includes, you know, putting on some makeup. Usually

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Speaker 1: have shower the night before because I know I'm that

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Speaker 1: big of a mess that I can't but also because

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Speaker 1: I exercise in the evening, so I have to tower

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Speaker 1: for the fact obviously. Um. And then I grabbed some coffee.

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00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,880
Speaker 1: I quickly let my dog out, come back, and then

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00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,520
Speaker 1: leave and usually get ran about ten to five to

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Speaker 1: ten minutes late. I'm one of those people. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I think this is where I'm like hot as where

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00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 1: any wokes up at six thirty goes for three to

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Speaker 1: four to five, four to eight mile run. I don't

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00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,080
Speaker 1: know exactly what happened, but I'm glad I put pants

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Speaker 1: on and ran out the door. That's usually the goal,

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00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,119
Speaker 1: and I don't have to turn around. I like, I

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00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:31,960
Speaker 1: don't know exactly what I happened. Essentially, I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I made it. I'm alive, y'all. I'm alive. I did it. Um.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I think all of those different things. This

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00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,959
Speaker 1: is my routine. The lack of routine, it does seemed

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Speaker 1: bit chaotic. But I'm also one of those that I'm

347
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:49,240
Speaker 1: a pretty mess Like. I have organization in my disorganization.

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Speaker 1: So if someone were to come in and try to

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Speaker 1: clean up and and and like organized for me, I

350
00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:56,040
Speaker 1: would lose it because I would not be able to

351
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Speaker 1: find anything. As for right now, I know exactly where

352
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:03,280
Speaker 1: everything is. I'm absolutely one of those people. Yeah. Again,

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00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,720
Speaker 1: I know a lot of friends like that. My older

354
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:08,479
Speaker 1: brothers definitely like that. UM. And I think it is

355
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:14,040
Speaker 1: interesting because I feel like you and I having nothing

356
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,320
Speaker 1: terrifies me, And I think like my amount of planning

357
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 1: terrifies you. And it just is and and numbers. In science,

358
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,879
Speaker 1: there has been research into this. It is how people

359
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 1: cope with things, right and what what gives them this

360
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,920
Speaker 1: feeling of kind of safety or structure are like lack

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00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,480
Speaker 1: of structure within the structure. Right. Um, So we do

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Speaker 1: have some stats around routine. Okay, here you go. According

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Speaker 1: to you Gov, most of us around spend somewhere between

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Speaker 1: eleven to thirty minutes getting ready. On the outlier end,

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Speaker 1: two percent spend less than five minutes, and three percent

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Speaker 1: take over an hour. There is some truth to the

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Speaker 1: stereotype that women in general take longer. And there were

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00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 1: two means, and that is largely because of make um

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00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,840
Speaker 1: of men take over thirty minutes compared to thirty eight

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Speaker 1: percent of women. And over the course of the year

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Speaker 1: that amounts to almost eight days, which I actually thought

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00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 1: it would be higher than that. I was gonna say,

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Speaker 1: as we're reading this and talking about this, say a

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Speaker 1: little prayer for you. That song is going through my

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00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:27,160
Speaker 1: head when I wake up, I put on makeup, say

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00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 1: a little preferc like she's okay, never mind, all right,

377
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 1: that is now that you don't you don't know that song?

378
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,680
Speaker 1: Oh my god, all right, we're gonna have to stop

379
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,119
Speaker 1: all together. I say a little prayer for you as

380
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 1: a song that begins with her having a routine and

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00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,560
Speaker 1: that she's doing this routine, she's saying a prayer for

382
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,800
Speaker 1: her her I guess man or her wish to be

383
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 1: man her crush anyway. But yeah, make up for sure,

384
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,760
Speaker 1: I could like caress. I definitely have like a five

385
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: to ten minute makeup routine as well. You were talking

386
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,959
Speaker 1: about what you wear, I'm very much like I like

387
00:20:57,119 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 1: the mineral blush for me or men roll foundation for

388
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 1: me because I don't like cape down face, um, just

389
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 1: my thing. I definitely put eyelighting on because as an

390
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:12,720
Speaker 1: Asian woman with the whole like lit eyelid stigma, you know,

391
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:16,600
Speaker 1: so you know, Asiang took out that eyelid like white

392
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,600
Speaker 1: women essentially um as well as I don't have a

393
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 1: lot of eyelashes, so I wanna bring out that look.

394
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 1: And that's just the whole kind of obviously, uh insecurity

395
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 1: with my own ethnicity a little bit if we want

396
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 1: to really dig deeper, but I feel like I can't

397
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 1: go out without that. That's one of my I have

398
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 1: to wear that thing. Um, but typically it just takes

399
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 1: about five minutes. But for me trying to find as

400
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 1: we talked about earlier, fine clothes that I'm comfortable with

401
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 1: that day, not that I like, not that I you know,

402
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,440
Speaker 1: once where I've picked out it's literally like, I don't

403
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 1: feel good in this, and that can be a whole

404
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:53,719
Speaker 1: twenty minute process, which is a sad thing, and I

405
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 1: recognize that, but it's just such like, and it bothers

406
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:59,159
Speaker 1: me that it's that level that we have to go to.

407
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 1: And I'm guessing a lot of women have to deal

408
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:03,920
Speaker 1: with that as well, as well as the fact that

409
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 1: they don't feel good enough about themselves to get the

410
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,400
Speaker 1: clothes that they want, or they you know, just thinking

411
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: that they don't they won't look at this. That in

412
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:14,159
Speaker 1: itself is just heartbreaking. I'm part of that statistic. Yeah,

413
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 1: when I was growing up, I was too afraid to

414
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,159
Speaker 1: buy clothes that fit because I hated my body some right,

415
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: and I would like, I couldn't look in the mirror

416
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,639
Speaker 1: for long. I would like, just right. I think it

417
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 1: just took me to five, five, ten years ago to

418
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,879
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I can look at myself naked and

419
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 1: not hate everything and want to stop crying. That reminds

420
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 1: me of that Scrubs quote. I can look at my

421
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,479
Speaker 1: body for problems the full minute naked. That's more than

422
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,960
Speaker 1: most women. And it's absolutely true. Yeah, I was nodding

423
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: my head when I was pretty young when that came out,

424
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 1: and you'll be like, yes, girl, good to have the

425
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 1: confidence because that's confident. But yeah, for a lot of women,

426
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 1: a large part of routine does involve of makeup. And

427
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: I found some statistics around this, but statistics around cosmetics

428
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 1: are infamously hard to rely on because they're usually conducted

429
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 1: by cosmetic companies. But anyway, U sixt of women wear

430
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 1: makeup every day and where it most days, although interestingly

431
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 1: to me never wear makeup and thirty report wearing it

432
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: only on special occasions. UM. And this is something we've

433
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:30,880
Speaker 1: talked about before the Makeup tax UM. Basically, through our media,

434
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,679
Speaker 1: we were taught from a very young age that a

435
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 1: woman looks like one that is wearing makeup. That is

436
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 1: the natural state. UM. I was watching a cartoon recently

437
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,680
Speaker 1: and was impressed and annoyed that all of the female

438
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,639
Speaker 1: characters had on point I make up. And I know,

439
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:50,520
Speaker 1: it's like a easy way to differentiate this one, but

440
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 1: you internalize that stuff. UM. So if you don't wear makeup,

441
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,439
Speaker 1: you automatically are breaking a norm in our society, and

442
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 1: we'll quite possibly be punished for that. People don't like

443
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 1: when you break norms. Generally, Um, we are expected to

444
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,880
Speaker 1: wear that's the problem with the whole Well, just don't

445
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 1: wear makeup if you don't want to, We'll be punished

446
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 1: for it. Um. And also some of us like to

447
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,280
Speaker 1: wear makeup, and that's okay. There's some days where I

448
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 1: like to wear it. Some days I don't. I be

449
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 1: berries for day day by day, but I don't like

450
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 1: the obligation that I have to write. Um. And women

451
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,679
Speaker 1: report feeling more confident when they wear makeup, and I

452
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,399
Speaker 1: definitely relate to that. And it's because they're more confident

453
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: because they it's some in some on some level know

454
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 1: that expectation right. Well, me, this all comes back to

455
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 1: the perception of what is pretty and what is not pretty.

456
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 1: And then even you look at TV and the ones

457
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 1: who are natural makeup or natural and you're like that

458
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: has mascara and all honor and red lips, Like, what

459
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 1: the hell are you talking about natural? You know, this

460
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 1: whole absurd idea of what natural looks like. As well

461
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:05,359
Speaker 1: as if that doesn't freaking exist there's not one natural look. Okay,

462
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 1: some people have different types of scars, some people have

463
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,639
Speaker 1: different problems with acne, some people have rosation, all of

464
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: those things and it's okay. They can embrass all of

465
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: those things. And I think also I love the the

466
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 1: male gaze and the whole in the like is their

467
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: assumption that they can dictate either way. You're wearing too

468
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,560
Speaker 1: much makeup, you're not wearing enough makeup, if you would

469
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: fix yourself. Well, that's why they like the all natural thing,

470
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,159
Speaker 1: because then they can pretend you're not wearing makeup, right,

471
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 1: because you should be pretty enough to not need it.

472
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, what the hell. You don't get

473
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 1: to have an opinion unless you're a man who puts

474
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 1: on makeup for themselves, go for it. Unless you identify

475
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:51,159
Speaker 1: as male that loves makeup. Hell, yeah, do it? You

476
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,640
Speaker 1: look amazing. Teach me those things. Why are you having

477
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,679
Speaker 1: outside of that? Wait? What are you talking? Also, I

478
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 1: do love when my mom says the phrase put face on. Yeah,

479
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,080
Speaker 1: And that is a very old school thing. It is

480
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,879
Speaker 1: old school, friend, it is. Well, that's related to I

481
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 1: was going to say, there's arrested development bit where she's

482
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,160
Speaker 1: putting her face on and it's like a horror movie.

483
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 1: And that's every time I hear that phrase, I do

484
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: think like that sounds like a monster. And my mom

485
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: knows said that many of times I can't come out, Yeah,

486
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:25,680
Speaker 1: you're not You're not fully dressed with that dream makeup right,

487
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 1: and kind of going off a years saying I'll never

488
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 1: forget the time I was doing a forty eight our

489
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: film thing which you have to like write and make

490
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,720
Speaker 1: some edit this film in forty eight hours, like short film. Um,

491
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 1: and the director was like, all natural looks, that's what

492
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: I want for her because I was the only woman

493
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 1: in it. Um and uh. He asked how long that

494
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,440
Speaker 1: will take and he clearly thought it was going to

495
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,479
Speaker 1: take like a minute, um. And the answer was like

496
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 1: thirty minutes to an hour with a professional and um.

497
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 1: It is one of my first ever tweets is I

498
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: took a picture of the table of makeup for the

499
00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 1: all Natural look And I was so annoyed because had

500
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 1: this big emotional monologue to memorize and I spent most

501
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:05,439
Speaker 1: of the time in the makeup chair not able to

502
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 1: do it. And I was seeing the dudes that I

503
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 1: was acting with and they were just practicing their lives.

504
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 1: They didn't have to do the makeup thing. There was

505
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,000
Speaker 1: like a little bit and some hair stuff, but they

506
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 1: were just done right. So frustrated like that, I would

507
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: consider that kind of a punishment that we have to

508
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: pay this time that I could have been spending something

509
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 1: like my looks as we mentioned, really like time tax

510
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,919
Speaker 1: content exactly what that is and um. Study after study

511
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,919
Speaker 1: has shown that women that wear a moderate amount of

512
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: makeup are seen as the evolusive, more likable, and more competent,

513
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: which directly impacts professional opportunities. One study found that one

514
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 1: given the same picture so it's the same woman, one

515
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: with makeup, one without, and the picture of her in

516
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,080
Speaker 1: makeup was more likely to get the job. Another one

517
00:27:56,119 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 1: found so well these pictures were shown to hiring managers

518
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:03,640
Speaker 1: clarify that. Another one found that male patrons of restaurants

519
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,399
Speaker 1: are more likely to give female waitresses more tips if

520
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 1: they are wearing makeup. Oh yeah, um, so as a bartender,

521
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 1: I work at a brewery and sort of be here

522
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: every time. I make sure that I have that red

523
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:18,400
Speaker 1: lipstick on, all of the makeup on, my hair is perfect,

524
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: all of that to the point where if I don't

525
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 1: wear that and come in, they're like, what happened to you? One? Right? Literally?

526
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,199
Speaker 1: Oh you're not feeling good? Um or I have not

527
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,720
Speaker 1: been recognized by people who have never seen me that

528
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 1: dressed up? They're like, what's wrong with you? Why are

529
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 1: you wearing makeup like that? I'm like, I'm trying to

530
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 1: get those tips? What are you talking about it? It's

531
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,560
Speaker 1: such a cop out. I hate that I played into that,

532
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: but yeah, I'm like, I get that money. Yeah, I

533
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 1: got it. That's the reason I'm here for my third job. Essentially. Yeah,

534
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 1: I went into a whole deep dive on the and

535
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 1: I didn't include it in here because this episode was

536
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: never intended to be all about makeup, but like the

537
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: deep dive of science of makeup and why it's all

538
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: about contrast and like situating. Oh my gosh, I can't

539
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,880
Speaker 1: do it, like I can't do it right. That's what

540
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 1: I figured out because as I'm watching all of the

541
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 1: different YouTube videos, and I love watching like the fourteen

542
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,040
Speaker 1: year olds knowing how to do things, I'm going, what

543
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 1: did you learned that? What's that? What? First of all,

544
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:20,920
Speaker 1: what product is that? Where did that come from? How

545
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 1: did that come to exist and where did you put it?

546
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 1: Um all? I mean also we should talk about the

547
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 1: cosmetics industry alone makes sixty million dollars a year and

548
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 1: that money largely comes from women. That average women will

549
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: shell out fifteen thousand dollars over their lifetime, and YouTube

550
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 1: and makeup to toials have become their buzz frounds. I'm sure. Um.

551
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 1: A study conducted by Marx and Spencer found that women

552
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 1: spend seventeen minutes on average picking out and outfit. As

553
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: I said, I don't remember the number, but a decent

554
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 1: percentage of men throw an outfit a week, like get

555
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: angry and throw it. I was gonna say, I definitely

556
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 1: know enough men or those who identifies as males to

557
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 1: stand and come back to me three or four different

558
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 1: times this is look, okay, what about this one? What

559
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: about this one? Is just just like a printed pant

560
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: or kind of shorts or something, and then the shoes,

561
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, okay, great. I

562
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 1: found I have one of my roommates in college had

563
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:34,719
Speaker 1: this poster and it said, um, it took twelve weeks

564
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 1: to make a habit and only two weeks to break it.

565
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 1: And so I started to look into the truth of that,

566
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: and I found from a quick Google search it seems

567
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: like it's sixty six days somewhere and there to build

568
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 1: a have it on average, but up to two and

569
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 1: fifty four days um and breaking habits. It is much

570
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: more complicated because some people will do it like cold turkey.

571
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: Some people take a lot of time to do it it. Um.

572
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:06,440
Speaker 1: So I have a I have a real anxiety about

573
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: running that I'll just stop doing it because I don't

574
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 1: if I take two all right in between. Oh yeah,

575
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 1: I did the same thing. So I worked out a lot.

576
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: I don't run anymore, um because I'm old in my

577
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 1: hip heards essentially, But I've been doing a lot of

578
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 1: cardio gam and all the dance classes and then I'll

579
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 1: do some running on the treadmill more so than anything else.

580
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,040
Speaker 1: And I say this as we're about to run the

581
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 1: pastree next week. I'm gonna die, like I'm probably just

582
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: gonna quit halfway through and get an uber to end it.

583
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: Just let you know. But I I remember, I think

584
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: I was gone from my uh my birthday, and then

585
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 1: I got sick and then holidays and I had stopped

586
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: working out completely and it took me a little while

587
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: to get back into the routine because because of that,

588
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,480
Speaker 1: maybe it was because I was spending more time with

589
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: other other things or just feeling like going out, um,

590
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: but trying to get back in my habit, I have

591
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: been over exerting myself to make sure I stay in

592
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: the habits. Or instead of just working out there four

593
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,320
Speaker 1: times a week, I'm doing it like five, six, maybe

594
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 1: two in a day because because crazy though, I'm with

595
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,239
Speaker 1: you on that. Yeah, And that actually is a good

596
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 1: segue into what we're going to talk about next, which

597
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 1: is our routine is good or bad? Yeah, but first

598
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: we're gonna pause for a quick breick for work from

599
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 1: our sponsor, and we're back, Thank you, Spenser. Routines do

600
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 1: create efficiency, and this gives our brain more room to

601
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: think about other things outside of that routine, like because

602
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: like we said earlier, it does save time or it

603
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: can um it can increase proficiency. It's less taxing on

604
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 1: your willpower and decision making brain space because you've already

605
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:55,240
Speaker 1: done that thing. Um. It reduces procrastination. When I read that,

606
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, because I cannot procrastinate.

607
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: It's actually like love procrastinate. I actually thrive on it sometimes.

608
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people do, and I wish

609
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 1: I could at least a little And I wish I

610
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 1: could plan ahead sometimes because why do I have to

611
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 1: put stress on myself? This is to be able to

612
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 1: be accurate? Why we're like a transformer of one person.

613
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 1: We are good. Yeah, we're the perfect person together. Yes,

614
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: part we're on the outline. It can be useful when

615
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 1: it comes to self care. Routine can be It can

616
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,239
Speaker 1: save you money, especially when it comes to food if

617
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: you plan rosting out. Um. It can really stress, but

618
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 1: it can also cause stress um and more on that

619
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: in a minute. And it can also give you a

620
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:40,120
Speaker 1: way to develop goals and track your success in achieving

621
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 1: those goals. And routine is especially important for kids and

622
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 1: especially in the context of significant life changing events. Exactly

623
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: so the routines and toddlers and infants teaches security and

624
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,520
Speaker 1: emotional stability. It also shows them that they have someone

625
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 1: who provides for them. And that's kind of one of

626
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 1: those things that that security that higher if needs and

627
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 1: they can trust that things are provided. Um, which makes

628
00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 1: me wonder how traumatized. I'm just gonna go ahead and

629
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,760
Speaker 1: get this down in this dark dark road, and I'm sorry,

630
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:15,200
Speaker 1: but I can't help it. How trauma sized these toddlers

631
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 1: and adolescents and influence are as. We are detaining them

632
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 1: and pretty much taking them away from their families were

633
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 1: trying to become and trying to find refuge and in

634
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,399
Speaker 1: the home. As we've seen more and more, I know

635
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 1: is getting bigger and bigger and bigger as all the

636
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 1: reports are coming out um that it's getting worse. The

637
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:42,320
Speaker 1: conditions are getting way worse. There's some reports about having

638
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 1: which by the way, I've talked about before about traumatization,

639
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,439
Speaker 1: about premunification. We're having adolescents take care of influtens. We're

640
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 1: having adolescents take care of toddlers because there's no one

641
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,400
Speaker 1: else who can play that parent role, and we're quickly

642
00:34:55,880 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: damaging and disrupting their the nurturing of these kids. Any way, Okay, sorry,

643
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: See I have to bring it down a little bit

644
00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 1: sometimes even on our easier episodes. Well, it is important,

645
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 1: and that's the thing is, like I feel like we

646
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 1: dismissed routine a lot. It's just stuck in the same

647
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 1: old routine, right, and it's easy to think of it

648
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 1: and are very privileged setting totally and about what routine

649
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,239
Speaker 1: can be and it's fantastic or not choosing to not

650
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 1: have a routine, you know, as I'm talking about being

651
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,800
Speaker 1: able to be lazy, not doing things. But for again,

652
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,960
Speaker 1: like you were talking about a single parent trying to

653
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 1: figure out how to support their kids, can't afford daycare, um,

654
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: but has to have three jobs and all the only

655
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 1: two or three jobs, and the only option is stay

656
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 1: home with your grandma. Hopefully this will work. And sometimes okay,

657
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,839
Speaker 1: you're a fourteen year old, You're gonna have to take

658
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 1: care of this eight year old like that. Stuff like

659
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 1: that is like again, routine is also a privilege. It

660
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,800
Speaker 1: is it is um and that's one of the things

661
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 1: that when I was looking into why it is so

662
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 1: important for children, is this this formative time and if

663
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: it's all chaos and there's nothing you can count on

664
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: um that has lasting impact exactly, and which is why

665
00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,840
Speaker 1: we talked about the CDC even delves into the importance

666
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 1: of structure for these kids as well. And obviously off

667
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: the CDC is talking about we're talking about health crisis essentially,

668
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 1: and a routine can't disrupt a child's health. C DC

669
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 1: called me the other day they left a message. I

670
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm going to return it. I will,

671
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 1: I don't want to know what that. The routine is

672
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 1: also really important for seniors, especially in the context of

673
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:40,320
Speaker 1: increasing unknowns, and maybe that is decreased mental or physical

674
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 1: function both increased dependency. Um. I have to say, when

675
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:47,879
Speaker 1: I think of my high school routine, I honestly am

676
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 1: not sure how I was functioning at all. And I

677
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 1: don't think that the current routine expect of our young

678
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 1: folks is healthy. And there's been a lot of research

679
00:36:56,719 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 1: into that, just about the amount of homework, the amount

680
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: of expected expectations placed on them. Um. Be course it

681
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,919
Speaker 1: kind of goes back into again privilege and was over

682
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 1: the top and not teaching responsibility. But yeah, definitely, I

683
00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 1: know for me, I think in college and I know

684
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 1: we were supposed to be somewhat adults, but being thrown

685
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 1: into good luck, Yeah, it was great difficult, it was

686
00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 1: really difficult. It was. Yeah. Um. Routine is also, like

687
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: we kind of alluded to earlier, really important when it

688
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 1: comes to sleep, and for people like me who have

689
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 1: difficulties sleeping, a routine can improve that. So we've established

690
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:42,320
Speaker 1: routine is important, but so is allowing yourself to break

691
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 1: it every now and then to get away from your routine.

692
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 1: Some studies have demonstrated that routine might be a creativity killer. UM.

693
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 1: One time article I found suggested that we are at

694
00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:55,920
Speaker 1: our most creative when we are groggy, and the reason

695
00:37:56,040 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 1: is that the processes that shut down UM relevant or

696
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 1: distracting thoughts are at their weakest, so those thoughts are

697
00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 1: allowed to like live their best life. And with this

698
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 1: UM diffuse focus as it's called, our brain can be

699
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 1: more creative with our network of knowledge making connections we

700
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,880
Speaker 1: might not otherwise have made. UM. And for morning people,

701
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,120
Speaker 1: this might actually happen in the evening as you're kind

702
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 1: of unminding UM. I'm one of those weirdo combos and

703
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 1: I relate to this so much because I used to

704
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 1: live live for that twilight between being asleep and being awake,

705
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 1: because I would get the most exciting thoughts or ideas.

706
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 1: I used to have this ongoing dream UM, and it

707
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 1: was like a TV series, and it was almost a

708
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: lucid dream, but not quite and I never knew where

709
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 1: it was going to go, and I was constantly surprised

710
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 1: by where what happened in it UM it was like

711
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,120
Speaker 1: musty TV, What's gonna happen next? Uh? And we went

712
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: on for years and eventually I wrote it all down. Um.

713
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 1: But it only happened in this in between states. So

714
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 1: sometimes I'd be too excited to get Okay, I gotta

715
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:02,359
Speaker 1: know what happens that I was too excited to get

716
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 1: there right um. And I still let myself do it

717
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 1: every now and then do you do you do you

718
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 1: go back to the same dream? Um? Wow? For me,

719
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 1: like I won't necessarily have a connected dream. It's not

720
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 1: like it's a episode of series. It's more of I

721
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 1: get the same dream and like with new people or

722
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: a new place. So it's always the oh, the shooting

723
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: at me, but this person is here and I'm trying

724
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,319
Speaker 1: to convince this person not to do it. Oh you're

725
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:31,919
Speaker 1: telling me you're about to murder somebody? Yeah, I really.

726
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:38,239
Speaker 1: I'm also the one that does um oh paralysis, sleep paralysis,

727
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:40,840
Speaker 1: so I am. I am one of those, so I

728
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: can during usually those days what I'm trying to wake up,

729
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,839
Speaker 1: those are the moments that I cannot freaking wake up.

730
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 1: I'm having an anxiety attack trying to wake myself up.

731
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 1: So for me, it's like constant nightmare of emotions like

732
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,160
Speaker 1: please wake up, please up in your eyes, please open

733
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:56,919
Speaker 1: your eyes. I can't open my eyes. Oh my god.

734
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:59,319
Speaker 1: It's kind of like the Eternal Sunshine moment where he

735
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 1: gets the in his eyes for just a second and

736
00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 1: go by to sleep. That's what usually happens. I don't

737
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 1: do it all the time, but that's usually at that

738
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 1: time frame that I will have it. Yeah, I've only

739
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: that experienced at a cool times, and it is terrifying.

740
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: Even if you don't know what it is, it's still scary. UM.

741
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:18,280
Speaker 1: An embarrassing side note, how I once sent a drunk

742
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 1: fan letter to fellow podcast stuff to blow your mind

743
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 1: back when I was an intern and I was an

744
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,280
Speaker 1: editor on the show, um about this whole dream thing,

745
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 1: and I signed it with my middle name because I

746
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,880
Speaker 1: was like, oh, they'll never get it. But I totally forgot.

747
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 1: I had an auto say nature. So I get an

748
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 1: email and they're like, I'm just checking, what's this you.

749
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 1: I had to fast up and then they put it

750
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 1: on the air. They read it on the air and

751
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 1: I could have cut it out, but I was like, no,

752
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:53,400
Speaker 1: I have to bear my shame. Oh my gosh, that's hilarious. Yeah,

753
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 1: I think you know, as we were talking about my

754
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 1: groggy state, once again was not necessarily the most comfortable level.

755
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 1: I also have those moments of stress or a lack

756
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 1: of sleep, and for me, I have to lay down immediately.

757
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 1: I um, and I've had many moments where I will

758
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:10,399
Speaker 1: It's kind of I feel like I've asked, like, dude,

759
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 1: I have narcolepsy, because this is getting weird where I'm

760
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: if I'm really overly tired or really stressed out about something,

761
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,799
Speaker 1: I get really stressed out in places like the mall,

762
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 1: any place with bright lighting, lots of people. It makes

763
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,279
Speaker 1: me figure out that I have to physically sit. And

764
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: then if I'm driving home or if I'm with someone,

765
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:28,960
Speaker 1: they had to drive me home because I'm afraid I'm

766
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 1: gonna fall asleep. And that's the level of exhaustion. But

767
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 1: like I've definitely had you were talking about your drunken

768
00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 1: story of emailing, because You're had a brilliant idea for me.

769
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 1: As I said the sleep thing, I've definitely had to

770
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 1: sneak a nap in a crowded or weird situations like

771
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:47,880
Speaker 1: I was at a dinner party with I think like

772
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: I was meeting new people with one of my best friends.

773
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 1: She just moved and I was coming to hang out

774
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 1: with her. Uh, and I decided I was really sleepy

775
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,240
Speaker 1: and I needed a nap, so I just folded myself

776
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,400
Speaker 1: underneath the table. It's still still sitting, so I was

777
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 1: kind of like just you know, as I was covering

778
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 1: my head type of moment, and slept for about a

779
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:09,439
Speaker 1: good not that I'm sorry, like a minute five minutes,

780
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 1: to the point that people are like, where what is she? Okay, yeah, what,

781
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 1: what's what's going on? And then they still talk about

782
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:19,720
Speaker 1: it to this day and it's been years, like probably

783
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 1: over a decade long. But that's the level of and

784
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:27,799
Speaker 1: I get. I would probably still bring that up. Look,

785
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 1: it's just talent that I can just fold over into

786
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 1: my chair and it was like underneath the dining table

787
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 1: as everybody else is laughing and eating. I agree, I'm

788
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 1: kind of shocked and impressed. I fell asleep in the

789
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:42,959
Speaker 1: elevator once. That's my claim to is sleeping. Um. Going

790
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 1: back to the whole night owl morning bird thing, science

791
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,759
Speaker 1: now suggests that they are probably four chronotypes, that's what

792
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 1: they're called, and it also suggests that it's generally fruitless

793
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: to try and change which one you are. Um, we

794
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 1: do go through natural shifts. Children and seniors are more

795
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 1: likely to be morning birds, and teens are way more

796
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 1: likely to be nine owls. But trying to force yourself

797
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 1: to change can have negative results. UM. Subjects and studies

798
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:11,160
Speaker 1: shifted off of their sleep schedules start to experience pre

799
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 1: diabetic symptoms within three weeks, and um They're metabolic rate

800
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: dropped eight percent, which could have resulted in a weight

801
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,439
Speaker 1: gain of almost thirteen pounds in the space of a year.

802
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 1: And this is sometimes called social jet lag when your

803
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:27,279
Speaker 1: clock is off of almost everyone else's around you. And

804
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 1: in many ways, our society punishes night owls. Um. We

805
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 1: think that they're they're lazy, We push them to be

806
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 1: mourning people. Our work schedules are designed around morning slash

807
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:42,800
Speaker 1: afternoon people. Yeah, Annie, stop punishing me for not getting

808
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 1: out of I'm just playing. Wouldn't know. I that was

809
00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:50,000
Speaker 1: a really interesting read to to think about it in

810
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 1: that that context, because I've never really thought about that.

811
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 1: Dude kind of like ostracizes people who biologically are not

812
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 1: that type of person, and it's really not fair, right, UM,

813
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,280
Speaker 1: And it is not getting enough sleep as a serious

814
00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 1: health problem that impacts a lot of people, so for

815
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:11,080
Speaker 1: sure probably will return to it. Um. The problem that

816
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 1: I have with routine is I do feel a lot

817
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 1: of guilt when I break it. Um. I go on

818
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 1: such a spiral if I don't run. I thought about

819
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:22,360
Speaker 1: it several times a day, and why I like, I

820
00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:29,000
Speaker 1: could find some time to run. I could, I could Hawaii. Sorry,

821
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 1: I just had that. Uh, I'm gonna be better for

822
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 1: like the next five years until until I go to

823
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: a cool trip like Hawaii. Probably will just be better.

824
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:39,440
Speaker 1: That's it just fits me. It's fine. But I think

825
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,359
Speaker 1: for me, having to bind myself to a routine out

826
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 1: of the outside of my regular habits feels like a

827
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: chore um and can be feelt really self defeating because,

828
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 1: like you know, I try to be the adult who

829
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:54,799
Speaker 1: had the list so I can check it off. But

830
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 1: for me, usually that list doesn't get checked off. And

831
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 1: that's kind of one of those big things. A part

832
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:04,360
Speaker 1: of my job and a part of my just mentality

833
00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 1: is being able to uh change and be flexible. And

834
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 1: so with that flexibility, it often means everything shifts very

835
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:15,399
Speaker 1: very quickly. Different emergencies happen, different things happen. So when

836
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 1: I see I'm not accomplished according to this paper all

837
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,200
Speaker 1: it is, it makes you just like, well, I'm just

838
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 1: gonna give up now we go to my corner. So

839
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,919
Speaker 1: for me, like having that type of structure, it makes

840
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 1: me feel like I'm just setting myself up for failure.

841
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:33,200
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I I have heard that from a lot

842
00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:36,160
Speaker 1: of people. And we are creating a pressure and an

843
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 1: expectation when we have routines, which can be good, but

844
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:43,319
Speaker 1: it also can mean creating an unneeded extra stressor and

845
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 1: not to mention something unhealthy. I've said before, I call

846
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 1: running my coping mechanism gone wrong. Right. Um, stress can

847
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 1: harm the brains mile in sheath, which can lead to

848
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 1: less light bulb moments. So that is another instance in

849
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,479
Speaker 1: which perhaps it does impact creativity. This was definitely something

850
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 1: to consider for those who are working parent because we

851
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 1: are a very female centric podcast, specifically to moms who

852
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:08,240
Speaker 1: often feel the guilt of not being the perfect maternal

853
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,000
Speaker 1: figure with the schedule perfectly in sync with the children

854
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 1: and partner, and just the pressures to have a perfect household.

855
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:16,879
Speaker 1: And this is more like, of course, again the heater

856
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 1: heteronormative perspective of mom, partner, kids, just the matriarch, just

857
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: in general the matriarch. But as we know, this type

858
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:28,840
Speaker 1: of household exists. I know, we things that are quickly changing,

859
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:32,239
Speaker 1: and we're seeing the father figures step up. We have

860
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 1: the same sex couple who seem to get it right

861
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:37,080
Speaker 1: more so than others. But there's also this unleveled expectation

862
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:41,399
Speaker 1: sometimes as well. UM, And I know I think there

863
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:45,439
Speaker 1: are moments where sometimes it's too dependent on the male.

864
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: I'm sure there is. But what we have seen on

865
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 1: a regular and what is sometimes still expected more of

866
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,160
Speaker 1: like a religious tone, and not necessarily all the time.

867
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:57,640
Speaker 1: But I've definitely had conversations not only with my family

868
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 1: but from my past friendships who are fairly religious and

869
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,480
Speaker 1: that's all cool, I have no problem with that, but

870
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:07,520
Speaker 1: also very southern. And again this is just what I

871
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:13,799
Speaker 1: know and not necessarily research. Um, it's anecdotal that these

872
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:17,479
Speaker 1: types of households exist, that women should maintain the home,

873
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:23,120
Speaker 1: and these perfections are expected, even to the niche idea

874
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 1: of the mother in law judging the you know, future

875
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 1: future wife of whomember their child is. And it's a

876
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 1: huge stressor that we don't talk about enough. UM, I think,

877
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,839
Speaker 1: and that the fact that it is unhealthy, very very

878
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:41,800
Speaker 1: unhealthy for these individuals who are putting their own pressures

879
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:49,320
Speaker 1: on yeah themselves. Yeah, well yeah, the expectations, right exactly.

880
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 1: It's a double whammy. And it's kind of like we

881
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 1: don't talk about that enough either. Where that still exists.

882
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,560
Speaker 1: A lot of research shows that it has become more gaalitarian,

883
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:03,479
Speaker 1: but women are still consistently doing more of the child hearing,

884
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: more of the cleaning, all that stuff. But I mean again, yeah,

885
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:11,399
Speaker 1: head or a normative. But um, that is a part

886
00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 1: of a routine. When you become apparent that you have

887
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,520
Speaker 1: to not only have your home routine, you have to

888
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 1: make sure manage this child's routine. Um. So you just

889
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 1: pick the solution I picked have a dog live by

890
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:31,600
Speaker 1: yourself in the story, that is one solution. Um, it's

891
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:36,480
Speaker 1: a path. Well, it's one path you could take. Um.

892
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 1: It's also a good thing to allow space for routines

893
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:43,960
Speaker 1: to evolve, to not let them become cages sometimes. Um,

894
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: Like for me, I've come to terms with one day

895
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,480
Speaker 1: I will not run this much and that's just going

896
00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:51,319
Speaker 1: to be the thing. That's how it's gonna be. Um.

897
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:55,320
Speaker 1: So that is not a bad thing. Um. John Tierney

898
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:57,640
Speaker 1: over the New York Times prescribes a routine of no routine,

899
00:48:57,880 --> 00:49:00,520
Speaker 1: spontaneity all the time. That sounds super stressful to me,

900
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,399
Speaker 1: but I understand that some people like it well as

901
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:08,279
Speaker 1: the introvert my spot Navy is just saying no, right,

902
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,240
Speaker 1: and when they're like, hey, you know, I have things

903
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,880
Speaker 1: I have to you know, do the things that I

904
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 1: said I had to do the things of those things. Okay,

905
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:17,840
Speaker 1: thanks for any of your friends listen to this and

906
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:22,439
Speaker 1: they're gonna, Oh, they already are good. I've been there,

907
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: good friends. Um. Some advice from the Times article called

908
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 1: for waking up a little earlier and letting yourself stay

909
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 1: in bed and let your mind wander for a few minutes,

910
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 1: and or staying in the shower a little bit longer

911
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 1: and using that time to think of anything other than

912
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:41,880
Speaker 1: task oriented thoughts. Um. I will say, if you're concerned

913
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 1: about water conservation, perhaps the bed one is better. But anyway,

914
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:50,400
Speaker 1: watching upbeat videos instead of depressing news because negativity also

915
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:55,720
Speaker 1: impacts creativity, right. I am all about the good videos,

916
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:58,920
Speaker 1: especially like all the dog videos I have watched, probably

917
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 1: all of them at the time, and of none of

918
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 1: the sad ones, so just all the good ones where

919
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,320
Speaker 1: they're rescued and they look amazing and or they're coming

920
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:09,000
Speaker 1: to find their owners and or where they fall and

921
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,919
Speaker 1: it's funny, you know. It's those things. And of course

922
00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:14,359
Speaker 1: I also love watching the kids doing hip hop who

923
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:17,680
Speaker 1: can actually do hip hop dancing and have you seen these?

924
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:22,560
Speaker 1: I have. I'm just surprised that love it. I love

925
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,880
Speaker 1: it because it motivates me, like if they can do it,

926
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 1: I can't do this, shut yourself down, and I do.

927
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 1: I want to point out here there are certainly unhealthy routines,

928
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:37,480
Speaker 1: and I find we often call these rituals and stuff routines,

929
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:42,800
Speaker 1: but things around like drugs in particular, and also, as always,

930
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 1: people are complex and different. Some people prefer and or

931
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:49,319
Speaker 1: need more routine others as you can tell you know

932
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 1: by the two of us. Um. So that's that's about

933
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 1: the end of our our talk on routine, which turned

934
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:02,719
Speaker 1: into more than I ever imagined. Um. But we do

935
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 1: have a little bit more for you. But first we

936
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:19,839
Speaker 1: have a quick break for words war sponsor. We're back,

937
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:22,279
Speaker 1: Thank you sponsored, and we're back with an out show.

938
00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 1: Very very little bit more, but we would love to

939
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:29,160
Speaker 1: hear um from you? What is your routine? What does

940
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:31,440
Speaker 1: that look like? Um? Do you think routines are good

941
00:51:31,600 --> 00:51:34,319
Speaker 1: or bad or both? Yeah? Do you do you think

942
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:38,279
Speaker 1: similar to us? Or are you judging us? Blush me? Yeah?

943
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:40,960
Speaker 1: How many people have? Many women out there in particular

944
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,080
Speaker 1: to take their bra of like within a minute of

945
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 1: getting home. You can send me your your routines to

946
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 1: us at Stuff Media, mom Stuff at i heeart media

947
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,400
Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Instagram at steff

948
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 1: Mom Never Told You and on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast.

949
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,960
Speaker 1: Thanks as always for a superproducer, Andrew Howard. Thank you, Andrew.

950
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:04,360
Speaker 1: Thanks to you for listening Stuff under told These prediction

951
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,280
Speaker 1: of I Heart Radios has stuff Works. For more podcasts

952
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,080
Speaker 1: from my Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app,

953
00:52:08,120 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 1: Apple podcast or review. Listen to your favorite shows