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Speaker 1: You heard it here.

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Speaker 2: First, it's some breaking news from the Jubil Show. Armed

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Speaker 2: robbers stole one hundred thousand dollars in merchandise from a

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Speaker 2: Pokemon store in New York City. But don't worry, though

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Speaker 2: police are determined to catch them. Wall It's time for

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Speaker 2: the cleverly named segment real news or Fake News, where

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Speaker 2: I read a news story that's gone viral this week.

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Speaker 2: If you tell me if it's a real one or

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Speaker 2: a fake one that people actually believed. Here's your first

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Speaker 2: headline for real news or fake news. Move over, Cartel's

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Speaker 2: parents are the new crime bosses. Move over, Cartel's parrots

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Speaker 2: are the new crime bosses.

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Speaker 1: Here's the story.

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Speaker 2: Law enforcement officials are urging the public to remain vigilant

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Speaker 2: after confirming a disturbing new trend in organized crime. Trained

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Speaker 2: parrots being deployed to steal valuables and, most concerning smuggle

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Speaker 2: drugs over the border. According to reports, criminal organizations have

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Speaker 2: now begun exploiting parents, intelligence, agility, and complete lack of

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Speaker 2: moral compass to conduct their criminal activity. An FBI spokesperson

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Speaker 2: said these birds are colorful, colorful, charming, and absolutely not

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Speaker 2: your friends. If you encounter a parrot. Outside of the

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Speaker 2: normal parameters for viewing a parrot, you should assume criminal intent.

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Speaker 1: And evacuate the area quickly.

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Speaker 2: So basically run if you see a parent and it's

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Speaker 2: not like where you would expect to see a parrot,

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Speaker 2: shake you down. Investigators say the parrots are trained using

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Speaker 2: positive reinforcement and voice commands. The birds allegedly target open purses, backpacks,

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Speaker 2: and jewelry. They've also been used to fly full bags

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Speaker 2: of drugs across the border and to designated drop spots,

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Speaker 2: and some criminal organizations have become training their parents to

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Speaker 2: be enforcers with a string of brutal parrot attacks on

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Speaker 2: rival gang.

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Speaker 1: Member rival parrots.

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Speaker 2: Citizens are being told to look out for the tailtale

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Speaker 2: signs that you might be in danger of an attack parrot,

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Speaker 2: a parrot hovering near you, birds repeating phrases like drop

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Speaker 2: it and hurry, they're coming, They're coming. Parents wearing tiny

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Speaker 2: ankle tags or bandanas. Apparently the thieves use that to

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Speaker 2: mark and track the parrot, and the public has encouraged

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Speaker 2: to report any suspicious bird behavior to authorities immediately. Is

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Speaker 2: that a real new story or a fake news story?

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Speaker 2: Who over car tells parrots are the new crime boss, Nina.

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Speaker 2: Is that a real news story or a fake one?

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Speaker 1: I'm actually gonna go with real because that makes a

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Speaker 1: lot of sense.

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Speaker 3: I'm surprised it actually took thieves so long to train

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Speaker 3: birds to do this. That makes perfect sense. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 3: like that in monkeys. They can do it too. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm here for it.

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Speaker 1: Victoria. Is that a real new story or a fake

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Speaker 1: new story? Move over? Car tells parrots are the new

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Speaker 1: crime boss?

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Speaker 3: Fake?

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Speaker 1: The same fake produced freeze fake.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna say, you know you can't bomb a parrot,

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Speaker 4: So you know you can't bomb boat. I'm in boats

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Speaker 4: lately that have been carrying drugs and.

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Speaker 1: Level military starts shooting parents.

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Speaker 4: The cartel is ahead of the game. They're like, let's

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Speaker 4: train the parrots. So I'm gonna say, real, that.

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Speaker 1: Is a real news story. Watch out for any parrots.

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Speaker 2: If you're in an area where you don't expect a

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Speaker 2: parrot and you see one, run, scream, it's pretty incredible.

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Speaker 1: You can train them that.

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Speaker 3: Well, that's the part that I'm the most blown away about,

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Speaker 3: not because I like the crime part, but wow.

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Speaker 1: They can do that. That's incredible.

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Speaker 2: Here's your next headline for real news or fake news

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Speaker 2: segment where I read you a new story that's gone

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Speaker 2: viral this week. You have to tell me if it's

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Speaker 2: a real one or a fake one that people actually believed.

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Speaker 2: Here's the headline, Mister Cheese terrorizes city with no end

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Speaker 2: in sight. Mister Cheese terrorizes the city with no end

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Speaker 2: in sight. This is out of Conway, South Carolina. It

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Speaker 2: says residents near Coastal Carolina University are now living in

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Speaker 2: fear not of the typical late night noise or frat

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Speaker 2: party sheneeddigans, but of an dacious intruder now infamous across

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Speaker 2: the town as the cereal cheese dip criminal.

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Speaker 1: Some people call him mister Cheese.

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Speaker 2: Over the past week, local homeowners have reported multiple break

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Speaker 2: ins in which an unknown perpetrator has entered unlocked houses

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Speaker 2: or broken in the house rated refrigerators and poured keeso

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Speaker 2: cheese dip or any kind of cheese substance that melts

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Speaker 2: onto TV's and furniture, smashed eggs across the living room,

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Speaker 2: and even smeared maple syrup throughout kitchens.

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Speaker 1: And the whole house.

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Speaker 2: Police say multiple homes on Quail Run Road or targeted

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Speaker 2: in one night in one incident, a sorroled homeowner awoke

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Speaker 2: to find his sofa and flat screen TV drinks some

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Speaker 2: nacho cheese, forcing him to refer to the mess as

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Speaker 2: only a dairy nightmare, not a dairy nightmare. Is this

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Speaker 2: a real news story or a fake one that people

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Speaker 2: actually believe?

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Speaker 1: Mister cheese terrorizes city with no end in sight.

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Speaker 3: I'd like to say fake, but I'm gonna have to

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Speaker 3: go with real, just because of how bored we are

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Speaker 3: as humans.

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Speaker 1: I could see us or someone being mister cheap.

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Speaker 2: All right, he says, it's a real news story, Victoria.

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Speaker 2: Is that a fake new story or a real news story?

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Speaker 2: Mister cheese terrorizes the city with no in insight?

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Speaker 1: It's real? I think real real. I'm gonna go fake.

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Speaker 1: You're going fake on that one? That is a real

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Speaker 1: news story, Cheese. Mister Cheese needs a friend. You were bored?

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Speaker 2: You next headline for real news or fake news? The

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Speaker 2: segment where I give you a news story from the

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Speaker 2: week that's gone viral. You have to tell me if

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Speaker 2: it's a fake one or a fake one that people

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Speaker 2: actually believed, or a real news story. Here's your headline.

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Speaker 2: Leaked text messages allegedly reveal Blake Lively having an affair. Dude,

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Speaker 2: what leaked tech messages reveal Blake Lively having an affair?

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Speaker 1: Here's the story.

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Speaker 2: Text messages from Blake Lively have been released due to

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Speaker 2: the through the investigation and the lawsuits she's in against

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Speaker 2: Justin Baldoni, but it claims that Blake Lively has been

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Speaker 2: carrying on in a secret affair with one of the

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Speaker 2: most unexpected celebrities imaginable, Guy Fieri. You know the diners, drives,

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Speaker 2: the network, guy right, spike, Yes, Guy Fieri, sunglasses, flames,

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Speaker 2: all of it. Screenslots screenshots surface of the text messages. Apparently,

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Speaker 2: One text from Blake Lively allegedly read, I don't even

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Speaker 2: like wings like that, but when you explain them, I

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Speaker 2: get it.

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Speaker 1: Whoa.

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Speaker 2: Another text from Fieri replied, you ever you ever feel

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Speaker 2: life like life's just one big diner off the highway anyway?

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Speaker 1: Thinking about you? Remember Blake Lively is married to Ryan Reynolds.

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Speaker 4: Yea.

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Speaker 2: So are these text messages a real news story or

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Speaker 2: a fake news story?

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Speaker 1: A string of.

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Speaker 2: Text messages revealed that Blake Lively is having an affair

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Speaker 2: with Guy Fieri.

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Speaker 1: You know I've got to go a fake on this one.

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Speaker 1: For well, the number one reason I'm going fake is

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Speaker 1: because she's obsessed with her husband, as she should be.

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Speaker 2: But that's why Victoria blake Lively text messages revealed that

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Speaker 2: she's having an affair with Guy Fieri.

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Speaker 1: Real news story or a fake news story? See that

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Speaker 1: could cover up the Baldoni thing. So part of me

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Speaker 1: is like, so real.

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Speaker 4: I would say that Guy Fieri would definitely send those messages,

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Speaker 4: but I don't think there's an.

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Speaker 1: Affair going on. So I'm gonna say, yeah, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: say it's fake. That is a fake news story.

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Speaker 2: Was not having an affair with Guy Fieri, although people

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Speaker 2: did believe it and it got shared over three million

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Speaker 2: times on social media. Why people outraged that blake Lively

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Speaker 2: was having an affair on Ryan Yolds with Guy Fieri.

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Speaker 2: People won't believe anything, he really will.

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Speaker 3: The text that got me is that thinking about diners

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Speaker 3: or whatever.

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Speaker 2: I'm surprised that that there wasn't a text about flavortown

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Speaker 2: all right? How many always says take it a flavor toown.

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Speaker 2: He says that that would have been people actually believed that.

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Speaker 1: That's why we have to do this segment every week.

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Speaker 1: The news or fake news