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Speaker 1: This is Let's Be Clear with Shannon Dorty. Everyone, welcome

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Speaker 1: to yet another episode of Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty.

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Speaker 1: That's right, Hat says it all. March is coming very soon,

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Speaker 1: which I'm really excited about it. Really cute things that

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Speaker 1: we're putting out there. So today's episode, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm not in a very good mood, So I don't

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Speaker 1: really know what to tell you guys. You know, I

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Speaker 1: think I'm not a good mood for a couple of

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Speaker 1: different reasons. And one, I'm probably feeling a little sorry

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Speaker 1: for myself, which is not acceptable, and I know that,

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Speaker 1: so I apologize in advance. But I just keep on

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Speaker 1: asking myself, like, why is it that just because I'm

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Speaker 1: in the public eye and because I choose to share

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Speaker 1: certain things on a podcast, Why is it just there

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Speaker 1: for everyone? Meaning like, even before I choose to share,

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Speaker 1: it's out there for everyone. I don't understand why people

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Speaker 1: can't get divorced. And okay, so let me back up.

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Speaker 1: My attorneys for my divorce had to file more stuff

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Speaker 1: in court, you know, stuff to compel all of that

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Speaker 1: good stuff. And it's not like I go online and

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Speaker 1: look up people's you know, divorce proceedings and what they're

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Speaker 1: doing and what's happening. And you know, it's not like

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Speaker 1: I write the briefs that go into court. Attorneys do

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Speaker 1: same with my you know, soon to be ex husband,

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Speaker 1: Like he doesn't write the brief his attorney does. So

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Speaker 1: you know, they do their thing, which is great, that's

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Speaker 1: what you pay them for. But I've never looked up

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Speaker 1: somebody's divorce because I just feel like it's none of

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Speaker 1: my business. And if they choose to share it publicly themselves,

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Speaker 1: not not just from a filing, but them personally. They

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Speaker 1: do a podcast, they do an interview, whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: then great, then that's on them. Then they've decided to

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Speaker 1: share that. But I don't understand why the minute we

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Speaker 1: filed all these you know, trashy nonsense magazines, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I keep on calling them all out right, this is

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Speaker 1: it's getting annoying. The in touch weeklies, the tmzs of

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Speaker 1: the world, all of them. It just like, what are

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Speaker 1: you doing. You're sitting around and keep on checking a

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Speaker 1: divorce or government or whatever the hell you want to

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Speaker 1: call it site just to see if you can be

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Speaker 1: the first to you know, drop the bomb and break

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Speaker 1: the story. We all know I'm going through divorce. We

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Speaker 1: all know it's not the most pleasant thing. So for me,

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Speaker 1: I think I don't even know if it came out

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Speaker 1: yesterday or the day before. I've been avoiding it. I

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Speaker 1: have refused to look and literally until when I was

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Speaker 1: going to record this podcast, and it just was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. There's so many different nuances that people

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Speaker 1: will never understand, and to take something just from a

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Speaker 1: brief so that you can break a story is super

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Speaker 1: annoying to me. But it's also again, I don't do that.

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Speaker 1: I don't understand why people find it so fascinating, boredom,

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Speaker 1: wanting to make money off of a story. Whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: I can tell you that it's really hurtful, and unfortunately

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Speaker 1: there was no way for me to do it more privately.

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Speaker 1: It is what it is. You can ask a court

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Speaker 1: to have documents sealed all day long, the other decide

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Speaker 1: they're going to seal them or not. I've had court

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Speaker 1: cases where certain documents about my health have been sealed,

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Speaker 1: but other things have not been sealed. And this was

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Speaker 1: kind of the case here too. I didn't want this

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Speaker 1: all to be so public. Yes, I discussed sort of

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Speaker 1: what happened, but in very broad terms, a I could

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Speaker 1: get in trouble and be just because you know, maybe

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Speaker 1: I'm not ready to discuss it. Maybe I'll never be

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Speaker 1: ready to discuss like the full details. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: or maybe I'm just waiting for the divorce to be

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Speaker 1: over and then, you know, I'm happy to discuss it,

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Speaker 1: but I just think it should be on the two

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Speaker 1: individuals that are going through It should be on their

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Speaker 1: terms and not on everybody else's. So, you know, that's

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Speaker 1: been exhausting, because obviously a divorce is not easy, especially

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Speaker 1: when you really loved someone and I did love my husband,

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Speaker 1: and when you get so hurt by their actions that

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Speaker 1: you just feel betrayed and like a sucker. It's really hard.

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Speaker 1: But also because I'm going through a lot of health stuff.

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Speaker 1: I am, as we all know, stage four cancer, which

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Speaker 1: is at this point in time not curable. But protocols

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Speaker 1: start working, your body adjust to them, becomes immune to them,

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Speaker 1: your cells change, or cancer cells adapt, the molecular makeup

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Speaker 1: of them changes, and then you have to go into

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Speaker 1: a different protocol. But before you even realize what's happened,

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Speaker 1: you know your cancer progresses and I back in twenty sixteen,

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Speaker 1: when I got my very first chemo, I had to

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Speaker 1: get a port right here on my chest. You can

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Speaker 1: get a port either in your chest or I believe,

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Speaker 1: on your arm somewhere, and I chose chess because I

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Speaker 1: was told that it was the best place in the

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Speaker 1: sense of like you're not hitting it all the time

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Speaker 1: when it's on your arm. And I remember when I

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Speaker 1: finally was told I was in remission and I was

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Speaker 1: able to get the port out because the port was

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Speaker 1: in for I think a solid year, and it made

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Speaker 1: me feel awkward right like the port made me feel

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Speaker 1: because it kind of stands out. It's like a thing

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Speaker 1: for those that are not familiar, it's a little round

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Speaker 1: thing that goes into your chest and it kind of

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Speaker 1: pokes out a little bit. Yes, your skin covers it

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Speaker 1: because they put it under the skin, but it still

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Speaker 1: protrudes from your chest. And I just always remember being

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable with this poured in and feeling like it made

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Speaker 1: me feel more and more and more sick mentally. And

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Speaker 1: so when I was finally able to get it out,

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Speaker 1: I was thrilled. I was over the moon. I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm normal again, even though I have like a scar there.

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Speaker 1: I just felt like I had really turned a corner

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Speaker 1: in cancer and had beat it. Flash forward, Obviously I

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Speaker 1: didn't beat it. I went to stage four and I

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Speaker 1: was really on like a lot of chemo pills and

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Speaker 1: stuff of that nature. And when I finally had to

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Speaker 1: start doing an infusion, and I opted to not do

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Speaker 1: a PORT and instead I opted to go through the

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Speaker 1: process of getting you know, an IV needle and having

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Speaker 1: them do the chemo through IV. The end result, of course,

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Speaker 1: is that I collapsed all my veins in my left arm.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't do it in my right arm because of

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Speaker 1: lymph nodes being removed in twenty sixteen and so you'll

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Speaker 1: have to worry about like deema and all of that stuff.

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Speaker 1: So I really crashed my left arm. But I thought

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Speaker 1: I was fine cut to now and I am having

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Speaker 1: to go back on chemo and I now know that

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Speaker 1: I can't do it the way that I was doing it,

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Speaker 1: that I have to get a PORT and it's really hard,

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Speaker 1: Like the idea of going through that all over again

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Speaker 1: has wrecked me. Sorry, I'm gonna pause for a second

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Speaker 1: collect myself. It's works me in a sense of like, yes,

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Speaker 1: I knew i'd stage four. Yes I knew it was

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Speaker 1: really serious. Yes, I've taken steps to you know, protect

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Speaker 1: my family and you know, clean up a lot of stuff.

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Speaker 1: But when you have to go to the hospital and

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Speaker 1: you have to you know, get put under in a port,

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Speaker 1: put in you, it becomes very real in an incredibly

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Speaker 1: different way because I have no idea how long I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be on the chemo for. I have no

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Speaker 1: idea if it's going to be you know, three months,

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Speaker 1: or if it's going to be six months, or if

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Speaker 1: we're gonna, you know, if after three months it's not working,

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Speaker 1: if we're going to change again, Like I don't really,

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Speaker 1: that's not something that I can predict. It's not something

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Speaker 1: my doctors can predict. And it's it's scary. It's like

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Speaker 1: a big wake up call. At the same time, I

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Speaker 1: got to say that there is some positivity there, and

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Speaker 1: the positivity is that because my molecular structure of my

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Speaker 1: cancer cells changed recently, it means that there's a lot

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Speaker 1: more protocols for me to try. So, you know, for

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Speaker 1: the first time in a couple of months, probably I

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Speaker 1: feel hopeful because there are so many more protocols now,

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Speaker 1: whereas before I was hopeful, but I was still getting prepared.

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Speaker 1: And now I'm like, oh, I don't need to be prepared.

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Speaker 1: I need to go on a vacage. I need to

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Speaker 1: go on a boat again and explore places. I will

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Speaker 1: forever be that girl who is like bucketless, bucketless, bucketless.

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Speaker 1: Even if I was, you know, now I emorymission, I

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Speaker 1: would still always be like, I need a bug listen,

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Speaker 1: I need to start fulfilling it. But so there is

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Speaker 1: hope mixed with my own bit of sadness because again,

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Speaker 1: I just don't know what all these chemos and it's

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Speaker 1: more than one chemo that I'm going on. We're kind

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Speaker 1: of throwing like the kitchen sink at it. So I

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Speaker 1: think I'm going on two different chemos within the same day,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know how I'm going to feel. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if I'm going to be, you know, throwing

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Speaker 1: up like I have on other protocols. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if I'm going to be, you know, passed out on

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Speaker 1: my sofa and my den with the AC blasting because

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Speaker 1: I just don't fill well, and that is it's a

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Speaker 1: little scary. I know that I'm slowly going to lose

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Speaker 1: my hair again, which is horrible. I think this will

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Speaker 1: be the third time I've lost my hair, and every

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Speaker 1: single time, like the first time I lost my hair

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Speaker 1: grew back and it was actually really cute. It was

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Speaker 1: like kind of curly wavy. Right now my hair is

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Speaker 1: like super wiry and coarse, and it'll be stick straight,

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Speaker 1: but like coarse where it just goes in all directions.

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Speaker 1: And a lot of you have commented on my fabulous hair,

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Speaker 1: and I tell you this is like so in weave

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Speaker 1: basically that this place called Lucinda Ellery out here does

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Speaker 1: for cancer patients and it's pretty amazing. You can get

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Speaker 1: MRIs with it. It has no metal and it just

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Speaker 1: stays like. You can wash it, you can go swimming,

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Speaker 1: you can do whatever, and you've just got this, you know,

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Speaker 1: nice hair. But underneath this beautiful weave is hair that's

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Speaker 1: like maybe this long, but it sticks out. But I

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Speaker 1: wake up in the morning it's really pretty. Maybe I'll

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Speaker 1: take a picture and share it on my social media

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Speaker 1: and track the progress of me going from my wave

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Speaker 1: to my real hair to what it becomes after chemo.

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Speaker 1: And I'm really aware with chemo, I'm like the girl

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Speaker 1: that doesn't do anti nasia medicine, and there's a reason

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Speaker 1: for that. When I did anti nasia medicine, I was

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Speaker 1: more sick. Interestingly enough, I couldn't throw up for like

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Speaker 1: five or six days, but I felt like I was

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Speaker 1: going to throw up, but the anti nausia was preventing

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Speaker 1: the throwing up. So like on this last protocol I

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Speaker 1: was on, it was well, no, I was on a

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Speaker 1: pill one and then infusion in her too before that,

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Speaker 1: so I instead of just throwing up right away, I

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Speaker 1: would feel like I was going to throw up for

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Speaker 1: five days, be really really really sick, and then I

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Speaker 1: would start throwing up, so it would last, like my

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Speaker 1: sickness would last I think like twelve days and then

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Speaker 1: and then I would have to go back on the

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Speaker 1: chemo like six days later or something. And what I

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Speaker 1: discovered is because I was like, just stop giving me

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Speaker 1: the anti nausea. And it was so funny because the

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Speaker 1: nurses were like no, no, no, particularly one nurse was like, no,

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Speaker 1: you need to take it, and I was like, don't

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Speaker 1: give it to me. I had to call them my doctor,

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Speaker 1: doctor Piro and be like, listen, you got to tell

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Speaker 1: them that I'm the patient. I know my body better.

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Speaker 1: Than you, better than anyone, and he was like, that's

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Speaker 1: absolutely true, you do. So I had stopped doing the

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Speaker 1: anti nausea and what I found was that I was

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Speaker 1: sick the first three days, like throwing up, and then

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Speaker 1: it stopped, and then I just needed one day of

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Speaker 1: like pure sleep and then I was fine and my

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Speaker 1: life returned like back to normal. So I don't know

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Speaker 1: what this new protocol is going to be like, and

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Speaker 1: it's you know, it's really scary to know that I

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Speaker 1: go in for my port tomorrow. I go in, you know,

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Speaker 1: I start chemo. Probably a couple of days after this

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Speaker 1: episode is out. I go in for my first round

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Speaker 1: of chemo, and and to just be walking into the unknown.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like my life has been unknown for

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Speaker 1: over a year now, between divorce and cancer. It's like

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Speaker 1: I have no grasp on it and I have no control.

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Speaker 1: And most people who know me know that I'm like

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Speaker 1: a control freak. I like to control things, and with cancer,

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Speaker 1: there's really no controlling it. And it doesn't matter how

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Speaker 1: much research I do, it doesn't matter how much like

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Speaker 1: natural holistic, like believe me, you guys, I try everything.

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm very much a person who is open to

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Speaker 1: all of that and it doesn't help me. And medicine

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Speaker 1: and science has kept me alive and helped me the longest,

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Speaker 1: but it comes with fear. Doesn't matter, you know, Like

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Speaker 1: I asked my doctor today because I had to go

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Speaker 1: get a bunch of prey op done, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: am I going to lose my hair? Am I going

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Speaker 1: to do this? Am I going to do? Like? I

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Speaker 1: had ten thousand questions for him, and you know, he's fabulous,

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Speaker 1: so he answered all of them. But you know, sometimes

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Speaker 1: the answers aren't great. Sometimes you're like, oh again, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to lose my hair. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: be sick. I want to be a normal person. And

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Speaker 1: you know that brings up with some people who go, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe you should just stop all of it

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Speaker 1: and have quality of life over quantity of life. And

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Speaker 1: I've had that thought, Believe me, I've been like, huh,

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Speaker 1: that's but I know that my quality of life is

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Speaker 1: actually being here longer, My quality of life is reaching Michael,

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Speaker 1: and you know, staying with my family as long as

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Speaker 1: I can, and really really pressing the organizations that I

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Speaker 1: work very closely with on a cure and research clinics

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Speaker 1: like one that I'm now involved in, and like I'm

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm not the person who likes to give

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Speaker 1: up very easily. I just don't want my sickness to

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Speaker 1: last that long. I'm very selfish apparently because I just yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I will, you know, try to be on here

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Speaker 1: a lot more. Not a lot more, but I'll try

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Speaker 1: to keep my schedule here. If I don't do an

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Speaker 1: episode one week, I apologize, it's probably because I'm super sick.

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Speaker 1: But I'm praying that that's not the case. Just like

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Speaker 1: I'm praying that you know, the headlines stop and that

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Speaker 1: people really learn to you and not you guys. I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about, like you know, depressed, that they really learn

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Speaker 1: that everyone deserves privacy and deserves to live a life

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Speaker 1: in quiet if they choose to, and then it's up

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Speaker 1: to them to share their health diagnosis, their divorce, their

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Speaker 1: new relationship, what's going on with their dog, like whatever

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Speaker 1: it is. It's I don't think actors sign up so

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Speaker 1: that they can be in every newspaper. You've got to remember,

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Speaker 1: I'm not a reality star. I didn't sign up to

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Speaker 1: be on reality shows. I didn't sign up to be

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Speaker 1: a celebrity and have my photo taken every single time.

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Speaker 1: The amount of press I turned down on a regular

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Speaker 1: basis is insane because I just have no desire to

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Speaker 1: do it. I signed up to be an actor, to

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Speaker 1: change out of Shannon into something else and be somebody else,

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Speaker 1: and I just really wish that there is some respect

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Speaker 1: for that, and more importantly that you know, our country

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Speaker 1: would lay down some laws like like to tmz okay,

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Speaker 1: if you're going to write about me, then your fair game.

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Speaker 1: When I dig through your trash, when I dig through

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Speaker 1: your closet skeletons, when I start talking about you, A,

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Speaker 1: I don't really care to talk about you. B I

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Speaker 1: don't have time. See it's too much negative energy and

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Speaker 1: bad karma and I don't want that. But you know

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Speaker 1: that is the reverse side of it, is that you

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Speaker 1: don't see actors doing that to these journalists who write

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Speaker 1: mostly false information about them or exposed stuff that nobody

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Speaker 1: has the right to know. So I know I'm jumping

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Speaker 1: around from health to press, but to me, all ties

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Speaker 1: in together, because right now I'm asking for privacy. I'm

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Speaker 1: asking to be respected by these journalists. That's right. I'm

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Speaker 1: doing air quotes, guys, because they're not really journalists. They're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be nice and just say that they're not

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Speaker 1: a journalists. I'm asking them to respect my privacy right

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Speaker 1: now and to leave me the fuck alone. And I

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Speaker 1: am sick. I'm going through stuff, and when I want

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Speaker 1: to share it, I will share it. Otherwise leave me alone.

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Speaker 1: I'll share it with my fans because I love you guys, journalists.

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Speaker 1: I like these journalists I'm talking about I have zero

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Speaker 1: respect for. And as far as health goes, you know,

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Speaker 1: fingers crossed, I'm praying for the best and tell you

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Speaker 1: I'm not going anywhere right now, and tell you that

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Speaker 1: the new researchers that I'm involved with that are helping

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Speaker 1: me cope with all of this, along with my main doctor,

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Speaker 1: I really believe in. I have a lot of faith

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Speaker 1: in their clinical trials are insane. I will share those

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Speaker 1: guys with you as soon as I get clearance and

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Speaker 1: as soon as I know how they're impacting my cancer.

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Speaker 1: But I'm going to cut this one a short day

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Speaker 1: because I'm really tired and I have to wake up

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Speaker 1: so early to go in for surgery tomorrow. But I

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Speaker 1: love you guys, Thank you so much. Thank you for

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Speaker 1: listening to Let's Be Clearishana Doherty. Merch coming soon and

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Speaker 1: updates coming very soon, but thank you