WEBVTT - #21 Let's Hug it Out 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:05.760 I'm excited to be back I Suck at Dating with 0:00:05.920 --> 0:00:11.080 Dean Angler and I Heart Radio podcast. Hello everyone, thank 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:14.600 you for joining me and my two friends, Erica and 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:17.079 Eastern in studio for another episode of help I Suck 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:19.840 at Dating. UM, I apologize for my absence last week, 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:22.520 and I'm sorry for having you sit through Nick Viles 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:25.400 voice for an hour and a half. But I promise 0:00:25.440 --> 0:00:27.120 I won't do that to you again, at least on 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:32.199 my own accord. So it's Tuesday, It's March sixth eighteen. 0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:34.479 Last night we watched the episode of the finale of 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:37.519 the Bachelor. I'm still freaking out, but I guess I 0:00:37.520 --> 0:00:40.080 should rephrase that Erica and I watched the finale of 0:00:40.120 --> 0:00:42.599 The Bachelor. Easton has not seen it. I have never 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:44.920 watched an episode of The Bachelor in my entire life, 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:47.400 still to this day. To this day, i've seen clips, 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:50.560 but UM, I've never seen it. I respect you so 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:52.600 much from that, UM, and so I know that we 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:55.120 don't normally talk a lot about The Bachelor on this podcast, 0:00:55.160 --> 0:00:57.080 it's not a Bachelor podcast, but I don't think we 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:59.160 can skate by with this episode without talking about it 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:01.800 a little bit. As think there's some interesting dating issues 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:04.000 in this, like going back to an X and like, 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:07.280 and I have some feelings about are in the way 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:10.480 that he handled everything. I think that we'll get to 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:13.480 it later, of course, but um, he did some really 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:15.240 bad things and he did some things that were not 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:16.800 so bad, and I don't know, I want to kind 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:17.880 of get your opinion on it, because I know we 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:19.919 haven't really talked about it yet, but you see on Twitter, 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:22.520 like people are crucifying him and saying all these negative things. 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:24.679 But so we can start back to that. This is 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:28.280 the first episode that we've recorded post Winter Games finale 0:01:28.319 --> 0:01:30.920 as well, which basically seems like an afterthout at this point, 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:33.120 like no one even cares about Winter Games now. But 0:01:33.480 --> 0:01:35.720 it is nice to be able to openly communicate the 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:37.679 relationship with Leslie that I have instead of having to 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:40.319 hide that. This is the first time anyone knows you 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:44.360 in a relationship, yes, of the of the of the 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:47.960 kind of as long as Deanie Babies has existed, he's 0:01:48.000 --> 0:01:50.360 never been in a public relationship and this is the 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:53.880 first time this has happened, and it feels phenomenal. Um. Okay, 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.800 So our first guest today is a man by the 0:01:56.840 --> 0:02:00.360 name of Justin McMillan, who is the CEO and founder 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:05.040 of Treehouse Recovery, which is a specialized absent based recovering 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:08.040 wellness center. Hey, Justin, how are you good? How are 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:10.440 you doing? This is Dean. I'm joining the studio with 0:02:10.560 --> 0:02:12.480 Erica Ian Easton. Thank you so much for taking the 0:02:12.480 --> 0:02:16.080 time to jump on the phone with us. Um. Absolutely so, Justin, 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:17.440 I just let in a little bit with with the 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:20.320 fact that you're founder and CEO of over at Treehouse Recovery. 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:23.160 But do you mind telling us a little bit more 0:02:23.200 --> 0:02:26.600 about kind of what you do? And um I I 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:29.920 remember reading an email that you are a big advocate 0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:31.880 of hugs, which I absolutely love because I'm a big 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:34.440 hugger as well. But um, maybe just like like a 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:37.440 general overarching idea, like a like an elevator pitch on 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:41.160 kind of who you are and what you've done. Sure? Sure, Well, first, 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:45.240 thank you for for having me on the show. Yeah. 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:50.240 So okay, So I'm the CEO and founder of Treehouse Recovery, 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:53.680 which is a it's a national organization and we treat 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:56.920 substance abuse. But we've we've come at it from a 0:02:56.960 --> 0:03:02.079 different angle. Really, we were are big its focuses on bonding, 0:03:02.520 --> 0:03:06.080 mail bonding and connecting men together. And through the body 0:03:06.120 --> 0:03:09.400 of our work, we've discovered that, you know, there are 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:12.960 a lot of things that men can do to be 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:15.160 healthier and stronger, and so this is kind of where 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:17.880 where hugging comes in. One of the things that we've 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:23.800 discovered is that an individual who is really healthy socially, 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:26.680 a man who's healthy socially is not afraid to to 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:31.720 hug like yourself, and that by having physical connection that 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:36.720 men ultimately are healthier and stay healthier. And there's a 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:38.800 lot of parts to this, uh and I could go 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:43.320 into several different things, but uh, so we look at 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:46.880 that and we have a we also have an academy 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:50.760 and research institute, so we're studying men's health in general 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:53.080 and we're looking at how to further develop what we 0:03:53.200 --> 0:03:56.840 do to make it better. And so we're constantly assessing 0:03:56.880 --> 0:04:00.000 what are the different variables that make up a healthy 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:03.120 man and in a lot of different ways physiologically and 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:08.240 socially psychologically. And then through that we've we've really discovered 0:04:08.240 --> 0:04:11.000 that physical touch is something that we're missing in our 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:14.280 culture and in our society, and that men need this. 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:17.640 You know, we need to be physical, we need to touch. 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:19.880 And this isn't this isn't a new thing. I mean, 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:22.880 we we all experienced this as children when we when 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:25.960 we're young, I mean we're obviously we're held embraced at 0:04:25.960 --> 0:04:28.760 a young age, and then over time we're sort of 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:32.560 taught social norms and eventually we sort of in general, 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:35.200 men start to disconnect and they stopped. You know, it's 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:38.120 more about a handshake and you know, kind of standing 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:41.440 your ground and then touch sort of changes for men. 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:44.440 And and so we look at that, and all the 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:47.320 guys that come to us, I mean most of them, 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:50.239 you know. To give you an idea about addiction, addiction 0:04:50.279 --> 0:04:53.840 is really about disconnection and and individuals being disconnected from 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:56.920 others and from themselves and and from their own thinking 0:04:56.960 --> 0:05:00.960 in their own mind. And so we focus on reconnecting 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:05.919 and like I said before, bonding. And what we've discovered 0:05:05.960 --> 0:05:12.560 is that healthy bonds are a critical part for human behavior. 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:14.719 I mean, it's not something we've discovered, it's known, but 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:17.840 it's really something that we've discovered is missing. And it's sad. 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.520 I look around and you see and and there's a 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:22.440 lot of men that are afraid of this and I 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:26.240 think in today's society where we're at right now, men 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:28.800 need this, and I think they're society need this. I 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:31.360 think men need to kind of rebrand themselves a little 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:34.160 bit in terms of how we're seeing and I think, 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:37.440 you know, touching and physical interaction is a is a 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:39.720 big part of that. I can I understand where you're 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:42.880 coming from. Um, It's funny when I think about it too, 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:44.719 because I have I have a lot of obviously like 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:47.120 a lot of male friends, and it's funny to see 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:49.400 how even just through the years that we've grown up together, 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:53.480 we've kind of maybe had the reverse progression where um, 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:55.680 we're still like very not like physical with each other, 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:57.719 but we're not afraid of hugging each other like you know, 0:05:57.760 --> 0:05:59.680 kind of like messing around like that. Um, And I 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:01.440 can I could see how some people would think of 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:03.160 that as like a negative thing, but I think it's 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:05.719 a great way to to show, I don't know, one 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:07.840 way of one another that you care about them. But 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:10.920 because so so with this, uh podcast, it's kind of 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:12.919 like a dating centric podcast. I'm just kind of curious 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:15.360 to hear um. And I'm not sure if you can 0:06:15.360 --> 0:06:17.480 speak firsthand, but how do you see these men come 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:21.960 into this, UM, I guess treatment facility in terms of relationships. 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:24.320 Do they come in with girlfriends that come in with wives? 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:26.240 Do they leave in the same status that they as 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:28.599 they came in with? How does that all kind of 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:31.960 factor in? Yeah? So okay, and and I'd love to 0:06:32.000 --> 0:06:34.400 talk about the dating side. It's a little bit too, 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:38.120 I mean outside of even recovery. But but yeah, I 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:40.279 mean guys come in and all the you know, some 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:43.360 some come in marriage and come in with relationships, and 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:46.960 I would say most of them come in with pretty 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:51.400 unhealthy relationships. And and then after they leave, we we 0:06:51.440 --> 0:06:54.840 actually encourage them to spend six months there with us, 0:06:54.839 --> 0:06:56.840 typically for six months, and we encourage them to spend 0:06:56.880 --> 0:07:02.960 six months uh focusing solely on developing strong platonic relationships 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:06.600 UM and not not so much in the romantic side 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:09.600 of things. And we do that because in early recovery, 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:12.480 the brain is still growing and if you kind of 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:15.000 stop in the middle of your trajectory and you connect 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:18.160 with uh somebody in a in a non platonic way, 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:21.400 it can kind of freeze that time for you. And 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:23.360 it can be dangerous because the person that you may 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:27.000 fall for an early recovery may be something completely different 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:29.720 than what you would really prefer when you're completely healthy, 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:31.680 and it takes quite a bit of time for someone 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:35.280 to really, you know, get through postitute withdrawal where their 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:37.960 brains starts to come back online and they start to 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:41.400 feel strong and healthy again. So we encourage guys not 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:45.679 to date right out of treatment and definitely not wild 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:49.040 in treatment because you know, it's this is kind of 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:52.240 the bigger subject around dating in general. I think that's 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:54.679 his men. We need to we need to really focus 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.200 on being the best us that we can be so 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.920 we can bring that to the equation when dealing with 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:04.520 a partner. And and so that's what we're really about, 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:07.400 is how do we become the most optimal man, the 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:09.760 most optimal human being that we can be. So we 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:12.520 have a lot more to offer. And and then women 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:15.000 picked up on that, you know, or or our partners 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:16.200 picked up on that when we go out in the 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:18.760 real world. And I mean an example of this would 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:21.440 be like you talked about with your friends and and hugging, 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:25.280 you know, a woman, it's also a display or a 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:27.880 demonstration of what's possible or what could be in store 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:30.400 for a woman. So when you're with your friends and 0:08:30.480 --> 0:08:33.360 you guys are grabbing each other and wrestling and hugging. 0:08:33.400 --> 0:08:36.840 That's a sign that you're capable of of a platonic 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:40.760 connection and that you're capable of intimacy, And it's a 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:43.240 way to demonstrate that to a woman, so she has 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:44.760 an idea of what she may be signing up for 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:47.560 she does get into a relationship with you. And I 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:50.080 think I think also women need to see that we 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:53.439 have social circles and connections with men that we can 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:55.680 go back to, and that you know, we're not going 0:08:55.720 --> 0:08:58.440 to have the woman be everything for us all the time, 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:00.520 that we have this other play so where we can 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:05.199 go to you know, dump and to you know, share 0:09:05.280 --> 0:09:07.560 things and to kind of adjust and come back to 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:09.719 the relationships so that we you know again can bring 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:14.199 it our best selves. So yeah, yeah, So my thing 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:16.800 is whenever I meet someone, not whenever I meet someone, 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:18.240 but I would say nine times out of ten when 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:19.760 I meet someone, I want to hug them, and I 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:22.000 probably do go in for the hug, but there's often 0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:24.679 there's often or sometimes maybe like ten, there's going to 0:09:24.720 --> 0:09:26.679 be someone that maybe like puts their hand out while 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:27.599 I'm going in for a hug and then he just just 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:30.320 kind of makes it. There should just be one uniform 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:32.439 like greeting where you can just hug whoever you want 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:37.040 to hug, and I mean within reason, of course. But 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:38.840 I know, so Eric is here. I know she's not 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:41.680 the biggest fan of Yeah. So I'm not a big hugger, 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:43.839 like at all. Dean walks in the studio and I 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:47.640 usually just like say him, no, I mean, I love it, 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:51.120 we're like friends, but I just like, I'm not a 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:54.760 huge hugger. And I know you focus mostly on men. 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:57.160 But am I like putting out everything wrong to the 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:02.080 world that I'm actually like super not intimate people. No, 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:05.360 not at all. I mean it's not there's no such 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:07.640 thing as one size fits all kind of the thing, 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:11.360 you know. But but I mean, what does it What 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:12.840 does it say to you if you see a man 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:15.280 hug another man? How does that? Oh? My god, I 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:18.360 think that's so sweet. I have nothing wrong but Dean 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:22.600 hugs everyone, and I think it's really nice. But oh sorry, 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.360 But I have no problems with other people hugging. And 0:10:26.400 --> 0:10:29.240 I hug like my family and my close friends, and 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:31.000 I have no problems with that. And I even actually 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:34.520 hug on first meeting more so than maybe third or fourth, 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:38.199 which is strange. You get the hugs out of the 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:41.240 way early. Yeah, I'm like, I don't have to hug 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:44.439 you later the formal the formal, I guess to get 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:47.480 this out of the way. Is this formality kind of deal? Yeah, 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:49.480 it's really sorry. I don't know if it says anything 0:10:49.480 --> 0:10:52.640 about me or just that I really hate human contact, 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:55.280 so I guess. And like you said, it's not it's 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:57.480 not a one size fits all thing. I think that 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:00.760 generally speaking, maybe women show are more effects, but you know, 0:11:00.800 --> 0:11:02.439 for you, you don't have to be and men are 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:04.520 less affectionate on average. But I think that if you 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:06.880 can kind of just like make it known that it's 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:11.640 perfectly acceptable and fine to do that. Yeah. Absolutely. And 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:14.600 there's like there's like a horseplay element for men to write. 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:16.200 I mean, there's like just kind of it's not just 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:19.040 always hugging. It's like like even a punch in the shoulder, 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:21.560 like a grab or like a kind of a wrestle, 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:24.040 you know. And that's something we see in children. You 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.480 see it with little boys. They're kind of playing around 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:28.400 until we, you know, say hey, knock it off. Don't 0:11:28.400 --> 0:11:30.680 do that anymore, you know, it's kind of like stand 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:33.240 up straight, you know, kind of stop doing that. But 0:11:33.280 --> 0:11:35.880 that exists in us. That's a part of who men 0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:38.840 are and and you see it where they can sports 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.400 teams and you know, even in the military and athletic like, 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:45.960 guys are actually much more physical than probably we realized. 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:48.959 And it's not always just about intimacy, and it's sort 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:51.360 of like gentle soft way. It's like, you know, it 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:54.320 can be like a forearm grab and like pulling someone 0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:57.560 towards you. You know, there's there's a lot more to 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:00.840 that in who we are than I think men real life. 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:03.319 And it's not always it's not this necessarily like a 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:06.760 soft and touchy thing, although it can be, and of course, 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:09.480 like you said, that can make some people uncomfortable, but 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:12.280 I think I think it's really just about touch and 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:15.400 in their actions, and there's so much communicated through this, right, 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:19.520 I mean, it's it's you can say so much, you know, 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:22.800 by giving somebody a hug, you're saying like I trust you, 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:25.719 you can trust me, right, You're safe with me, and 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:29.280 I'm safe with you, and uh, and you're you're you're 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:31.360 showing that as as a man. It's it takes a 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:33.640 certain amount of confidence and strength to do that too, 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.040 and knowing who you are. And I think that that 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:38.240 also is it's a very beautiful thing. And I think 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.760 sharing that wherever you can is a is a great thing. 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:44.960 I think another thing it's amazing about it is that 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:47.839 there's health benefits stugg and there's actual physiological health. But 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.520 if it's like it, it raises oxytocin in the in 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:52.559 the body, which is like that we kind of feel 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:57.560 good chemical that helps us still relaxed, and it raises serotonin. 0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:00.920 There's a lot of studies about this, and so you 0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:04.720 we have this ability through touch to like actually change 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:07.360 someone's chemistry and make them healthier. And if you think 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:08.959 about it that way, like like give it. You can 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:11.520 give that to somebody, Like we as men, we can 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:14.920 reach out and actually make someone healthier or make someone 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:18.000 happier by just grabbing them and squeezing them. It's so simple, 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:22.360 and it is so simple, and it's really really beautiful. 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:26.240 I think it's it's a pretty amazing, amazing tool, an 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:28.199 amazing thing that you can you can give to somebody 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.040 else and then by doing it, you know, it's sort 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.760 of it grows on itself because maybe you hug somebody 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:36.079 that's not really a hugger, and all of a sudden 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:38.440 they go, I kind of like this, and then all 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:40.120 of a sudden they got that bug, and then they 0:13:40.160 --> 0:13:41.839 want to hug somebody else. And then the next week, 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.120 you know, we're walking down the street and everybody's hugging 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:46.360 each other. I mean, that would be I love it. 0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:48.400 I love it. I'm a percent here for it. I 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.480 think the more hugs the better. The one person that 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:51.839 might be more of a hugger than I am is 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:55.120 Ben Ben Higgins is every time I see him, he 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:57.200 gives me the biggest bear hug I've ever I ever get. 0:13:57.440 --> 0:13:59.160 And I mean it's always it's a it's a it's 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:00.679 a good thing to look for two whatever you and 0:14:00.720 --> 0:14:03.240 I've never felt terrible after a hug, Like you can't. 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:05.600 You feel pretty good unless they're like, I don't know, 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:10.120 forcing you to hug them. But but yeah, usually they're nice. 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:16.559 So we can actually help people in the world through this. Yeah, 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:17.839 I think I was gonna say, and I think the 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:20.520 one one of the good points that you well, they're 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:22.160 all good points, of course, but one of the points 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:24.360 that we can really focus on. From the dating aspect 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:28.040 of it is is to really focus on yourself before 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:30.440 I guess being willing and able to jump into a relationship. 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:32.600 But I think we've mentioned that before as well. But um, 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:35.720 you know, by going around and I guess having that 0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:39.880 that physical connection with with anyone obviously a prely potonic 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:42.920 basis is allowing you to you know, like you said, 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:45.320 kind of level or give you some more oxytocin and 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:48.120 um what was it serotonine as well? So um, as 0:14:48.200 --> 0:14:49.520 as long as you're working on yourself at the end 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:51.320 of the day, I think that's definitely one of the 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:54.880 main takeaways, which is always a positive. Yeah, yeah, I 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:57.360 think it's man week. It's easy to jump into a 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.800 relationship and to start to sort of forget about the 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:03.760 connections that you have with other men and how important 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:08.800 they are to maintain a healthy relationship, and so focusing 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:11.240 on that and focusing on bonding and just being close 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:13.080 to the men in your life is I think it's 0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:16.280 an important thing. Not not all men like to talk 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:19.400 about their feelings, so sometimes like how doing you're wrestling 0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:22.080 around and grabbing each other can be a great way 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:24.760 to say I care about you. And I'm here for 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.479 you without having to sit down and have some deep conversation. 0:15:27.640 --> 0:15:29.960 I mean, that's right at my alley. I'm not I'm 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:33.240 not much of a one to express my my feelings, 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:35.080 so to be able to do it through that kind 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:37.840 of stuff is it's much easier. And I think that's 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:39.120 that can go along for a lot of other guys 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:41.160 as well. But um, Justin, thank you so much again 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:44.120 for taking the time. UM, if if you want to 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:47.400 follow Justin and his his company, they're not I don't 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:49.360 want to call it a company. I guess it's your 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:54.440 advocate and treatment facility, right, Treehouse Recovery. Um, go ahead 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.040 and follow them on on Instagram and on Facebook tree 0:15:57.040 --> 0:16:00.080 House Recovery. Um. Justin, is there anything else that you 0:16:00.080 --> 0:16:03.320 wanna maybe speak on or plug before before we jump 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:07.120 off here? Yeah? Well, once, thank you again for having 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:10.440 me and and I guess I I'd like to say, 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:13.520 you know, just to present a challenge to all your 0:16:13.520 --> 0:16:18.240 listeners and whether it be male or female, that you know, 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:20.840 step outside of your comfort zone a little bit and 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:23.960 reach out and give somebody a hug and think about this, 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:27.200 be present about this. I consider the fact that physical 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:29.480 touch is an important part of your life, and that 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:32.000 by doing so that your life will be better, You'll 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:35.120 be happier, you'll be healthier, and you can make the 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:38.120 world a better place. I love it. I just gave 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:40.120 Erica Huggins. She's got the biggest green on her face 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:44.320 right now while you were talking, reached over and hugged me. 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:50.200 It was nice. Um okay, Justin next again one more time. 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:53.480 It's Treehouse Recovery on both Facebook and Instagram. UM, be 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:55.600 sure to check them out. And Justin again, thank you 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:57.160 so much for the time. It's good to hear that 0:16:57.160 --> 0:16:59.040 you're doing so much good in the world, and we 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:02.240 look forward to seeing what else you can do. All right, 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:03.720 thank you, thank you so much for having me have 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:07.840 a good day. All right, take care. Another way of 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:11.520 spreading good in the world, besides these incredible hugs that 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.400 you can be given everyone on a daily basis, um, 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:17.200 is by going on threat up and maybe getting yourself 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:18.880 something nice, make you a little bit happier. Maybe get 0:17:18.880 --> 0:17:21.399 something for someone else, make them a little bit happier. Well, 0:17:21.720 --> 0:17:23.880 if you get something for yourself, you get happier, which 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:28.080 then you can you're working on yourself exactly. It's all 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:30.119 coming full circle and one of the best ways is 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:31.439 to go to threat Up. And I know, I know 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:32.879 you guys have heard me talk about threat Up in 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:35.800 the past. Basically the largest online thrift store where millions 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:41.280 of women refresh their closets. It's basically a thrift store 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:45.720 online where every style you can imagine is going to be. 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:49.000 There's so many good brands too, all over the website, 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:51.359 all over the website, all the good brands. Instead of 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:54.320 having a shift sift aimlessly throughout the racks, you can 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:57.400 basically just sort by size, by style, by color, all 0:17:57.440 --> 0:17:59.080 that good stuff to save you a bunch of time 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:00.960 and save you up on to money. You get a 0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:02.480 lot of these brands. I think there's like thirty five 0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:05.399 thousand brands for up to off the original retail value, 0:18:06.080 --> 0:18:09.480 which is just fantastic. I think Easton was saying the 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:11.400 other day he got his wife something. He spent ten 0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:13.960 dollars on something that was originally a hundred dollars. That's crazy. Yeah, 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:16.240 it's it's insane. Everything I've seen from thread Up, I 0:18:16.240 --> 0:18:18.680 would not have believed it came from there. Was like, 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:21.120 you know, that's a good quality. Yeah, it's incredible. It's 0:18:20.920 --> 0:18:23.640 a thrift store usually has a connotation that's like you're 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:25.760 gonna be covered in moth balls, and it's like Grandma clothes. 0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:27.400 No no, no, no no no, not the case of threat. 0:18:27.600 --> 0:18:29.360 No no, no no. I love it. It's the world. 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:31.080 Like I said, it's the world's largest online thrift store, 0:18:31.080 --> 0:18:34.240 with over thirty five th brands off every autumn on 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:36.520 the site goes through a twelve point quality inspection process. 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:38.480 So like Easton said, you know you're not good. You 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:41.679 know you're gonna get good quality clothes. It's not even 0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:43.440 gonna look like it came from from a thrift store 0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.520 or anything like that. I think free People dresses for 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:47.960 ten dollars, Day Crew jeans for twelve dollars, Kate Spade 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:50.600 handbags for thirty dollars. I love a good Kate Spade handbag. 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:53.920 But if you go to if you got a thread up, uh, 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:56.320 we're offering all of the help I suck a dating 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:58.720 listeners in extra thirty percent off their very first order. 0:18:58.760 --> 0:19:02.080 So go to thread up dot com slash dean that's 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:05.520 th h r e d up dot com slash dean 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:09.719 for an extra off the already up to off retail 0:19:09.800 --> 0:19:15.479 value and invest in yourself, invest in your friends, go 0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:19.320 to threat dot com slash Dean love it. So, do 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:21.199 you want to talk about what happened last night on 0:19:21.320 --> 0:19:25.240 The Bachelor? Yeah? I I appreciate Justin's perspective because while 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:27.760 it wasn't necessarily perfectly aligned with what we're talking about 0:19:27.760 --> 0:19:29.520 on a daily basis through this podcast, it was still 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:31.600 unique to hear. You know, there are some people out 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:33.879 there that are doing good in the world. But I 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:36.320 think that we would be remiss to not talk about 0:19:37.080 --> 0:19:40.199 the Bachelor finale last night. And again, Easton didn't watch it, 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:43.640 so he might it might be seen some peripheral reactions, though, 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:45.479 So I think we've we've talked a lot about it 0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:48.959 without you amongst us, Eastince, he heard quite a bit 0:19:48.960 --> 0:19:50.800 about it. I think, okay, And I think it's almost 0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:53.320 maybe better that you didn't watch it for this instance, 0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:55.000 because it kind of gives you less of a bias 0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:57.879 one way or the other. Um. I would love to 0:19:57.960 --> 0:20:03.120 hear Erica's perspective. So I watching the show, loved both 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:05.679 Back and Lauren be Like, no issues with either of 0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:11.240 them at all. Um, But watching I knew a spoiler 0:20:11.320 --> 0:20:13.960 that he was gonna break up with whoever he got 0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:18.760 engaged to. So watching that proposal was so painful because 0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:21.399 then he gives her the final rose and spins her 0:20:21.400 --> 0:20:26.919 around and the rose breaks. Yeah, like, oh my gosh, 0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:29.919 she should have known at that moment um. But I 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:33.399 just don't think that they needed to film her getting 0:20:33.400 --> 0:20:35.800 broken up with, like she was so blindsided. See that's 0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:37.879 where I disagree with you. You think they should have 0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:39.639 done it. I think it's totally cool. I think it 0:20:39.760 --> 0:20:42.359 was the best way to handle a very bad situation. 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:45.000 It wasn't good by any means, but it was the 0:20:45.000 --> 0:20:47.000 best way that they could have done the very bad 0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:50.399 thing that was doing. And here's my thing. Let's and 0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:53.320 let's maybe you bring it back to that final where 0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:56.880 he told Lauren that he wasn't going to propose to her, 0:20:57.600 --> 0:20:59.320 but then he still told her he loved her. Yes, 0:20:59.359 --> 0:21:01.120 that was interesting, and she said, I mean, I still 0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:03.280 love you. And I think they kissed before you No, 0:21:03.400 --> 0:21:04.520 they didn't. I think he kissed her like on the 0:21:04.560 --> 0:21:07.959 cheek or something. Okay, a close close close it was 0:21:08.000 --> 0:21:11.119 it was. And then come down comes Becca. He proposes 0:21:11.760 --> 0:21:14.200 um and it was cute. It was a sweet proposal, 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:17.040 but like he didn't cry. No one cried. He's been 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:20.960 very devoid of emotion the entire season. And it's funny too, 0:21:21.000 --> 0:21:23.840 because I was sitting Nick Vile and I were Nickle 0:21:23.920 --> 0:21:26.119 and I were watching the finale with the live audience 0:21:26.240 --> 0:21:28.399 last night in Burbank wherever. Yeah, I saw your little 0:21:28.680 --> 0:21:31.480 camp on the Yeah, yeah, we'll can get that later 0:21:31.480 --> 0:21:33.080 as well. But Nick was like, I don't think I 0:21:33.119 --> 0:21:34.679 saw him cry once. I cried all the time in 0:21:34.680 --> 0:21:36.240 my season. He guysn't even cried once. I'm like, I 0:21:36.280 --> 0:21:39.360 didn't even realize. But you're right, he didn't didn't really cry, 0:21:39.480 --> 0:21:41.760 which maybe he's just not a crier. You can't really 0:21:41.760 --> 0:21:44.720 fault him for that. But here's my thing. So he 0:21:44.800 --> 0:21:47.840 picks Becca. Um thinks he made the right decision, and 0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:50.119 at the time, maybe it was the right decision. Like 0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:51.960 I don't think he should have proposed to her. I 0:21:51.960 --> 0:21:53.840 think that was the biggest mistake that he possibly made 0:21:53.840 --> 0:21:57.040 in that situation. He chose that morning. Like, if someone's 0:21:57.080 --> 0:21:59.840 proposing to me, I hope they know damn well, but 0:22:00.040 --> 0:22:02.360 for that morning, and yeah, and exactly, And here's the thing. 0:22:02.480 --> 0:22:05.240 I would never I would hope that no one would 0:22:05.240 --> 0:22:08.040 ever propose to someone while they're in love with someone else. 0:22:08.359 --> 0:22:12.520 So he could definitely be in love with Becca and 0:22:13.359 --> 0:22:15.080 wants to be with her, but not proposed to her 0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:17.720 if he's still in love with Lauren. So that's the 0:22:17.800 --> 0:22:20.560 challenging thing. And then here's where I tend to disagree 0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:24.800 with a lot of the viewers. Um was the televised 0:22:24.800 --> 0:22:29.679 breakup tasteful? Absolutely not? Was it ethical? Probably not? Was 0:22:29.680 --> 0:22:33.200 it brilliant TV? Yes not even that was a brilliant TV. 0:22:33.320 --> 0:22:36.280 But I think that if you think about it this way, 0:22:36.680 --> 0:22:39.360 you look at Nick and Vanessa's breakup, no one really 0:22:39.400 --> 0:22:40.840 knows why they broke up. You look at Ben and 0:22:40.880 --> 0:22:43.000 lawrence breakup, no one really knows why they broke up. 0:22:43.280 --> 0:22:45.000 You know, you hear stories from both sides, but no 0:22:45.040 --> 0:22:48.639 one's ever certain. With this situation, it's very objectively clear 0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:51.240 why they broke up. It's because Ari was in love 0:22:51.240 --> 0:22:55.199 with Lauren and in order for Becca. And again this 0:22:55.240 --> 0:22:57.280 is kind of since we haven't seen who's announced as 0:22:57.280 --> 0:23:00.760 a bachelor at assuming that Becca wants to be the bachelorette, 0:23:01.040 --> 0:23:02.679 this was really the only way to go about it 0:23:02.720 --> 0:23:05.159 because now everyone can be certain that are you is 0:23:05.200 --> 0:23:06.760 kind of the jerk that dumped her to get back 0:23:06.760 --> 0:23:08.919 together with Lauren, and now there's no he said, she 0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:12.800 said going into this bachelorette announcement. And again that's only 0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:15.160 assuming that Becca wants to be the bachelorette. If she's 0:23:15.200 --> 0:23:17.600 not the bachelorette, I think that it probably could have 0:23:17.640 --> 0:23:20.240 been should have been handled a lot differently. Um, But 0:23:20.400 --> 0:23:24.000 that's that's kind of my thoughts on it. I just 0:23:24.240 --> 0:23:28.239 him like refusing to leave that horrible. She asked him 0:23:28.280 --> 0:23:31.359 to leave, and he walks out. He walks out of 0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:35.040 the house, and I'm like, that was okay, great, And 0:23:35.080 --> 0:23:38.520 he walks back in and sits there, sits there, and 0:23:38.560 --> 0:23:41.880 then goes through the house and finds her and then 0:23:42.000 --> 0:23:44.080 sits there and she's crying and she has her hands 0:23:44.080 --> 0:23:46.639 over her face and she's like, please stop staring at me. 0:23:46.720 --> 0:23:49.119 Like he's just sitting there. He's not crying, he's just 0:23:49.160 --> 0:23:52.399 sitting there, like staring at her. I just he needed 0:23:52.400 --> 0:23:55.320 to leave much earlier than he did. And I remember 0:23:55.359 --> 0:23:57.800 seeing like I remember people saying like, oh, producers were 0:23:57.800 --> 0:23:59.399 telling him to sit there and stay and like like 0:23:59.480 --> 0:24:01.520 just draw draw it out. I don't think so at all. 0:24:01.520 --> 0:24:03.720 There were no there was no communication. It was just 0:24:03.800 --> 0:24:06.160 cameraman in the room with them, like And I think 0:24:06.160 --> 0:24:08.800 that if anyone was ever in a situation like that, 0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:11.479 they wouldn't like, there's it's just your emotion, and they 0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:13.280 wouldn't sit there listen to a producer telling them to 0:24:13.280 --> 0:24:14.640 stay on the couch for the X amount of time 0:24:14.680 --> 0:24:18.040 longer you're just gonna act instinctively regardless. I think that 0:24:18.160 --> 0:24:19.879 if I was back in that situation, I would have 0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:22.600 just gotten up and walked away. But I hated how 0:24:23.680 --> 0:24:26.239 um when Becca was like just leave, just leave, just leave, 0:24:26.280 --> 0:24:28.600 probably said a five times, he already sat there, kind 0:24:28.600 --> 0:24:31.920 of didn't say anything, and then after maybe like a pause, 0:24:32.000 --> 0:24:33.960 always like Okay, I think we're gonna go now, and 0:24:33.960 --> 0:24:36.560 it's like, well, yeah, you should have left five minutes ago. 0:24:36.800 --> 0:24:38.800 Do it when it's on her terms, not yours, And 0:24:38.920 --> 0:24:40.800 he's kind of like putting on himself, like now I'm 0:24:40.920 --> 0:24:43.920 going to leave because I feel comfortable leaving, not when 0:24:43.960 --> 0:24:45.719 she was like, you need to leave because this is 0:24:46.200 --> 0:24:48.840 way too much for me. So that was really that. 0:24:48.840 --> 0:24:50.440 I didn't really like that obviously at all. I don't 0:24:50.440 --> 0:24:53.160 think anyone likes kind of how long he lingered. Um. 0:24:53.200 --> 0:24:55.920 I'm also just really interested to see what happens tonight, 0:24:56.119 --> 0:25:00.399 which is actually live, Like so that's so yeah, okay, 0:25:00.440 --> 0:25:02.119 I think it is. It is actually a live and 0:25:02.160 --> 0:25:05.399 like they're saying, like, oh, like Ari and Lauren seeing 0:25:05.400 --> 0:25:08.560 each other again, but they for sure talked since he 0:25:08.600 --> 0:25:10.880 broke up with Becca, right, what do you mean don't 0:25:10.880 --> 0:25:14.040 you think Lauren and Ari have been in communication ever 0:25:14.119 --> 0:25:16.640 since he broke up with Becca? I think they're together, right, 0:25:16.880 --> 0:25:19.399 But they're trying to tease it as if like, see 0:25:19.400 --> 0:25:21.600 what happens when we get Lauren and Ari on the stage, 0:25:21.600 --> 0:25:23.840 see if she'll take him back? And I'm like, I 0:25:23.920 --> 0:25:25.879 just feel like they've been talking this whole time. If 0:25:25.920 --> 0:25:28.800 you're Lauren w and you take him back, he's not 0:25:28.800 --> 0:25:30.600 the most hated dude in the country right now, it's 0:25:30.640 --> 0:25:36.480 bad feel like being that's just like watching from the sidelines. 0:25:36.600 --> 0:25:39.600 I was like, is she like psyched on this or like, 0:25:39.640 --> 0:25:42.720 how does she feel? No one knows. She hasn't said 0:25:42.720 --> 0:25:44.240 a think. I don't know if I could take him 0:25:44.280 --> 0:25:47.400 back if he was like, oh my god, I love you, 0:25:47.440 --> 0:25:49.000 but I love her more than I'm going to propose 0:25:49.080 --> 0:25:51.400 to her. So that's the thing too. I think that's 0:25:51.400 --> 0:25:53.320 the reason that he's being crucified as much as he is, 0:25:53.359 --> 0:25:57.119 and he should be because he never should have proposed Rebecca. No. No, 0:25:57.240 --> 0:25:58.520 he should have said, do you want to continue a 0:25:58.560 --> 0:26:02.560 relationship with me? It's so bad? Do you think that 0:26:02.600 --> 0:26:04.400 there was any way in the world this show could 0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:06.560 have ended with him saying, I'd like to continue to 0:26:06.640 --> 0:26:09.480 date both of you. Oh, that would have been juicy, 0:26:09.560 --> 0:26:11.600 because like, that's the real world, you date a couple 0:26:11.640 --> 0:26:13.640 of people. I think I saw an interview with Ben 0:26:13.680 --> 0:26:15.680 where he was like, if he wasn't certain the day 0:26:15.680 --> 0:26:17.880 of proposing Tobecca, he should have asked for like a 0:26:17.920 --> 0:26:20.680 couple of day extension to film a couple more days 0:26:20.680 --> 0:26:22.480 with the girls, and maybe that would have made a 0:26:22.560 --> 0:26:25.240 huge difference. That would be brilliant. I don't know, great, 0:26:25.600 --> 0:26:27.320 I don't know, But I just don't know if he 0:26:27.440 --> 0:26:29.320 really thought through it all, Like in his mind it 0:26:29.359 --> 0:26:31.399 was like the TV show is ending, and I have 0:26:31.520 --> 0:26:34.239 to make my decision, and Becca makes sense, so I'm 0:26:34.280 --> 0:26:36.040 gonna go with Becca. Do you think it was his 0:26:36.080 --> 0:26:38.000 parents or his family that kind of swayed him, because 0:26:38.000 --> 0:26:39.920 I feel like, oh, his family loved Lauren, yeah, but 0:26:40.080 --> 0:26:41.600 I think they like Becca a little more. And they 0:26:41.640 --> 0:26:45.080 didn't show it on the show. All they showed with 0:26:45.119 --> 0:26:49.520 Becca with his family was them asking Becca about Lauren. 0:26:50.119 --> 0:26:52.359 It was so weird. That was pretty rough. Yeah, and 0:26:52.359 --> 0:26:54.720 it kept cutting Tobecca an interview saying I have to 0:26:54.720 --> 0:26:58.639 hear Lauren's name one more time. I'm a little not upset. 0:26:58.680 --> 0:27:01.160 I'm a little bummed that we were at the live 0:27:01.680 --> 0:27:03.879 viewing of the finale because I would much rather be 0:27:03.920 --> 0:27:07.040 at the the thing tonight. You would rather been there tonight. Yeah, 0:27:07.080 --> 0:27:09.600 I'm really excited to watch tonight. It's gonna be It's 0:27:09.600 --> 0:27:11.400 gonna be fun, I think. And it's funny too because 0:27:11.400 --> 0:27:13.800 this season up until now it has been pretty lackluster, um, 0:27:13.920 --> 0:27:16.040 not incredibly exciting, but now everyone's like waiting on the 0:27:16.080 --> 0:27:19.320 edge of their seat. I can't imagine the pitchforks and 0:27:19.400 --> 0:27:21.680 people that would be coming after him if like we 0:27:21.680 --> 0:27:25.000 were super invested in these relationships Instead, I kind of 0:27:25.119 --> 0:27:28.680 just like, he'll pick one. It's cool, But like, imagine 0:27:29.440 --> 0:27:32.040 if what if? What if it was like like everyone 0:27:32.160 --> 0:27:35.640 was so into Rachel's season with like, oh my god, 0:27:35.640 --> 0:27:37.800 it's gonna be Brian, is it gonna be Peter? Like, oh, 0:27:37.840 --> 0:27:39.960 we all thought it was gonna be Peter. If she 0:27:40.119 --> 0:27:42.800 had done the switcher real actually really good point, it 0:27:42.840 --> 0:27:45.440 would have been like she would have had to leave 0:27:45.480 --> 0:27:48.320 the country. I wonder how much. I don't know, It's 0:27:48.320 --> 0:27:51.840 just like how much can you think was one side 0:27:51.840 --> 0:27:53.080 and one of the other side, Like how much was 0:27:53.080 --> 0:27:54.879 Ari and how much were the producers? Like, because you 0:27:54.880 --> 0:27:57.160 know that the producers had to have known that Ari 0:27:57.320 --> 0:27:59.280 wasn't certain about the relationship with Becca, and then that's 0:27:59.359 --> 0:28:00.960 kind of when they were like, if you're not certain 0:28:00.960 --> 0:28:03.080 about this, we need to get this on camera. And 0:28:03.080 --> 0:28:05.080 then of course I agreed to it. And again I 0:28:05.080 --> 0:28:07.639 think that that was the steps that were necessary to 0:28:07.760 --> 0:28:10.640 have Becca have the the public closure that she could 0:28:10.680 --> 0:28:13.680 possibly get because and again that's kind of what I 0:28:13.760 --> 0:28:16.240 keep thinking back to, is if they if they didn't 0:28:16.280 --> 0:28:24.200 air that very awkward, unedited, then very publicly Becca's relationship 0:28:24.240 --> 0:28:26.840 would be very like ambiguous and uncertain to everyone as 0:28:26.840 --> 0:28:28.840 to wide ended. And I think that was the necessary 0:28:28.880 --> 0:28:31.600 step in kind of closing that ambiguity. Do you think 0:28:31.640 --> 0:28:33.720 as much as it was super embarrassing for her, and 0:28:33.760 --> 0:28:36.560 she said that herself was like, oh my god, that 0:28:36.720 --> 0:28:38.800 also in the end is going to help her, like 0:28:39.200 --> 0:28:42.800 publicly be moved on. I think, so Okay, I mean 0:28:43.080 --> 0:28:45.200 I'm not I'm not a fan of it necessarily, but 0:28:45.240 --> 0:28:47.200 I think that it was the best of a very 0:28:47.240 --> 0:28:49.680 bad situation. What would you have done though, if like 0:28:50.520 --> 0:28:54.000 you were in Becca's shoes and say Rachel did choose 0:28:54.080 --> 0:28:56.360 you and you were sitting there and she's breaking up 0:28:56.360 --> 0:28:59.280 with you on camera, Like, I guess you got broken 0:28:59.360 --> 0:29:01.280 up with on camera away and that's the thing to 0:29:01.360 --> 0:29:04.120 these people sign up for this and like it was bad. 0:29:04.200 --> 0:29:07.040 I probably was like all time high in terms of 0:29:07.680 --> 0:29:10.480 I don't know, being broken up with on camera, Like 0:29:10.560 --> 0:29:12.800 this might be the top of the top, but this 0:29:12.880 --> 0:29:15.120 is exactly what they everyone agreed to do before going 0:29:15.120 --> 0:29:17.920 on the show. Do you remember that time that I 0:29:17.960 --> 0:29:20.000 had to take you to your motorcycle and I was 0:29:20.080 --> 0:29:22.000 like going off about how big of a Bachelor fan 0:29:22.200 --> 0:29:23.720 was and I was like, oh my god, did you 0:29:23.760 --> 0:29:28.240 ever see Jason Mesnick season? Wait? Mesnick was there last night? Yes, 0:29:28.280 --> 0:29:30.440 because he's the one who's done this before. So here's 0:29:30.440 --> 0:29:32.200 the thing. Isn't he still married to the girl that 0:29:32.280 --> 0:29:35.080 he so is? That is that's a success story? Isn't it? 0:29:35.120 --> 0:29:37.720 A part of me is saying maybe Lauren b should 0:29:37.760 --> 0:29:39.400 take him back and get married and maybe they'll be 0:29:39.440 --> 0:29:42.240 happy forever. But then in ten years from how we're 0:29:42.240 --> 0:29:43.760 gonna look back and still think of Aria as this 0:29:44.800 --> 0:29:47.200 We still think, no, we don't think of Jason as 0:29:47.240 --> 0:29:49.400 a horrible person. Now it's like, oh my god, how 0:29:49.400 --> 0:29:54.880 sweet he really made the right to haven't eight years? Yes, 0:29:55.320 --> 0:29:58.720 he has one from a previous relationship who is thirteen. 0:29:58.760 --> 0:30:02.520 I did research today, super fan. Oh yeah, um. And 0:30:02.560 --> 0:30:04.680 then they have a five year old daughter. I think 0:30:05.000 --> 0:30:08.000 five somewhere around there. But I promise our resources today. 0:30:08.800 --> 0:30:10.720 And again, I mean, I hate defending the guy, but 0:30:10.800 --> 0:30:12.240 at the end of the day, are you went on 0:30:12.280 --> 0:30:15.480 the show to find love? And if his heart was 0:30:15.480 --> 0:30:18.960 telling him to go with Lauren, it's just a proposal. 0:30:19.000 --> 0:30:21.480 I just don't propose. Just don't propose. Is any better 0:30:21.520 --> 0:30:24.200 off And this is true in all relationships. Just being 0:30:24.240 --> 0:30:28.560 honest rather than staying in something that's bad. Every every 0:30:28.560 --> 0:30:31.240 party involved is better off with him being honest. That 0:30:31.480 --> 0:30:32.920 is not going to get married to someone who she 0:30:32.920 --> 0:30:35.680 shouldn't marry. Jared was saying last night that he was 0:30:35.680 --> 0:30:37.920 almost overly honest too. When he was having that conversation 0:30:37.920 --> 0:30:41.200 with Becca he kept saying when he was breaking up 0:30:41.200 --> 0:30:44.320 with Becca, he kept mentioning Lauren, which was just horrible. 0:30:44.920 --> 0:30:47.000 I think he had to be what if then he 0:30:47.120 --> 0:30:48.719 never said it. He's just like, I don't think it's 0:30:48.720 --> 0:30:52.160 working out whatever, and then she's like, I'm sorry, you know, 0:30:52.200 --> 0:30:55.440 two months later you're back with Lauren. B I think 0:30:55.440 --> 0:30:57.520 he had to be honest. Did he propose to Lauren? 0:30:58.240 --> 0:31:00.840 He's just with her. He has not yet, We don't. 0:31:00.880 --> 0:31:03.800 We were speculating there could be a proposal tonight on. 0:31:04.120 --> 0:31:05.840 Did he have to get the ring back from Becca 0:31:05.960 --> 0:31:08.120 when she handed it back? Okay, she took it off. 0:31:08.440 --> 0:31:10.280 I'm very proud of her for doing that. Literally, like 0:31:10.360 --> 0:31:12.200 thirty seconds in the conversation, I know she was still 0:31:12.200 --> 0:31:13.520 wearing it, and then the next thing I realized that 0:31:13.560 --> 0:31:14.920 she had taken it off. I was like at a girl, 0:31:15.040 --> 0:31:17.040 and he like walked outside and was holding it and 0:31:17.120 --> 0:31:20.840 was looking at it. It It was so weird. Yeah, that 0:31:20.920 --> 0:31:23.800 house was weird houses. Oh my god. There were so 0:31:23.800 --> 0:31:26.400 many doors that led to the same place. Were they 0:31:26.400 --> 0:31:28.000 the only ones in the house? Because I'm hearing him 0:31:28.040 --> 0:31:30.720 like wandering the halls like a like an empty manner, 0:31:31.160 --> 0:31:34.360 picturing them two and then two or three cameras at 0:31:34.360 --> 0:31:36.440 the camera crew, and you could see a lot of 0:31:36.520 --> 0:31:38.880 camera crew because it was unedited. I mean, you would 0:31:38.920 --> 0:31:40.600 know better than anyone in this room. Was that the 0:31:40.640 --> 0:31:43.160 first ever side by side like split screen that they 0:31:43.200 --> 0:31:45.920 ever had? Yes, what do you think of that? Amazing 0:31:46.320 --> 0:31:49.160 because you could see Becca and you could usually at 0:31:49.200 --> 0:31:51.719 some points the cameras went off, which was interesting, like 0:31:51.760 --> 0:31:54.040 you could only see one of them. Uh No, I 0:31:54.040 --> 0:31:55.880 think the unedited was good, and I do think it 0:31:55.920 --> 0:31:59.520 favored Becca. Do you I mean, do you think she 0:31:59.640 --> 0:32:01.680 wants to come the Bachelor? That's the thing. If she 0:32:01.720 --> 0:32:03.560 doesn't want to be the bachelortte, then everything I said 0:32:03.600 --> 0:32:07.120 completely disintegrates. It has no foundation whatsoever. But I don't 0:32:07.800 --> 0:32:09.520 I would almost advise her not to be the Bachelor. 0:32:09.840 --> 0:32:12.040 I think it's really soon, like they start filming, what 0:32:12.120 --> 0:32:14.640 in March, two weeks something like that. I'm sure in March, 0:32:14.680 --> 0:32:17.560 it's already marchch Um, in a couple of weeks. Like, 0:32:17.800 --> 0:32:20.320 if I'm in, everything I say has to be taking 0:32:20.360 --> 0:32:21.920 with the huge grain of salt. But I would almost 0:32:21.960 --> 0:32:24.239 advise not to take the role of bachelor at for her. 0:32:24.280 --> 0:32:27.000 Should she go in Paradise instead? Nope, Okay, she should 0:32:27.000 --> 0:32:30.840 avoid Bachelor World for the rest of her life. No, okay, 0:32:30.880 --> 0:32:33.680 not necessarily should come back next Bachelor. I don't. I 0:32:33.680 --> 0:32:35.200 haven't really thought that part of the police so, like, 0:32:35.240 --> 0:32:38.760 wait a year, maybe it was this was she was engaged. 0:32:38.800 --> 0:32:40.760 You know, that's crazy to think about, and now she's not. 0:32:41.000 --> 0:32:43.480 I've never even been close to engaged, so I can't 0:32:43.480 --> 0:32:46.000 imagine being like the rest of my life has planned out. 0:32:46.000 --> 0:32:47.560 I'm gonna be with this man, We're gonna have babies, 0:32:47.560 --> 0:32:49.600 we're gonna move here, blah blah blah. Never mind. She 0:32:49.640 --> 0:32:51.680 did say something along the lines of my future. I 0:32:51.720 --> 0:32:53.360 had my future all planned out and now it's not 0:32:54.240 --> 0:32:55.800 for me. That was really sad. I hope she yells 0:32:55.800 --> 0:32:57.200 at him tonight. I think at the end of the day, 0:32:57.200 --> 0:32:59.120 we will all very very much love to see a 0:32:59.160 --> 0:33:02.760 Becca love story. M hmm, like there if she wanted it. Tears. 0:33:03.280 --> 0:33:06.280 I am team backup for Bachelorette, But I do think 0:33:06.280 --> 0:33:09.280 it's very soon and very intense. I don't know, it's tough. 0:33:09.960 --> 0:33:11.600 I'm excited to see how it all until tonight, and 0:33:11.600 --> 0:33:13.680 again I'm a little worried that something is going to 0:33:13.760 --> 0:33:15.520 catch us completely off guard and this is all going 0:33:15.600 --> 0:33:17.680 to sound completely ridiculous everything that we just talked about, 0:33:17.720 --> 0:33:22.640 But who knows, that's the fun of live show. I 0:33:22.680 --> 0:33:24.520 don't know what I'm saying. Do you want do some 0:33:24.560 --> 0:33:27.280 emails or do you want to keep talking about you know, Becca? 0:33:27.360 --> 0:33:28.400 I don't know. I still feel like I have some 0:33:28.440 --> 0:33:30.880 points to get across. I haven't gotten across yet. What 0:33:31.120 --> 0:33:32.880 is up Dean? And I'm just thinking I want to 0:33:32.920 --> 0:33:34.080 because I came in I was like, Okay, I want 0:33:34.080 --> 0:33:35.520 to talk about this and this and this. I feel 0:33:35.560 --> 0:33:39.840 this way about that. I think, yeah, I just I 0:33:40.440 --> 0:33:42.720 get always get brought back to the proposal you shouldn't proposed. 0:33:43.040 --> 0:33:44.840 But then I feel like he has this inkling or 0:33:44.840 --> 0:33:46.680 this urge to make sure that everyone that he knows 0:33:46.840 --> 0:33:48.640 to like like him. He like he wants everyone to 0:33:48.720 --> 0:33:51.000 like him. He wants to be well liked, and I 0:33:51.040 --> 0:33:54.800 think that's his ultimate pitfall, yeah, in life, and that's 0:33:54.840 --> 0:33:57.680 why he came across. Also was boring, I think, unfortunately. 0:33:58.160 --> 0:34:00.640 And then he's like savagely tweeting and the women tell 0:34:00.680 --> 0:34:03.200 all those tweets were amazing. Did you see those? Um? 0:34:03.240 --> 0:34:04.959 I remember seeing a picture that he posted of like 0:34:05.520 --> 0:34:07.840 pachelor and Paradise auditions. Ops, I mean the women tell 0:34:07.880 --> 0:34:10.920 all Yeah, which, like it's where was that personality the 0:34:10.920 --> 0:34:13.840 whole show? You know? Um? And he called out Crystal 0:34:13.880 --> 0:34:15.799 on Twitter. It was just funny. But I feel like 0:34:16.320 --> 0:34:19.359 you're right when we see him on screen. Well, I 0:34:19.360 --> 0:34:23.320 I tweeted out, like last week that already comes Across 0:34:23.360 --> 0:34:25.120 is boring on the TV show, But Ben came Across 0:34:25.120 --> 0:34:26.400 is born on the TV show and Ben is not 0:34:26.400 --> 0:34:29.880 born at all at all, like stand up Dude. It 0:34:29.920 --> 0:34:32.640 was just stand up duting. He's charismatics as hell. And 0:34:32.719 --> 0:34:34.920 so it's like I can understand that they don't necessarily 0:34:35.000 --> 0:34:37.040 have to edit the leads personality into it as much 0:34:37.040 --> 0:34:40.640 because it's more about the women's in that sense. Um, 0:34:41.320 --> 0:34:43.839 but who would you have picked if it was if 0:34:43.880 --> 0:34:45.399 those were your top two and you had to pick? 0:34:46.800 --> 0:34:48.239 I know this is not a cool game because you 0:34:48.320 --> 0:34:50.839 like have a girlfriend, but like, just say you had 0:34:51.400 --> 0:34:54.000 the fifth on that one? Oh my god, who would 0:34:54.000 --> 0:34:57.880 you have picked if you were an I don't know, 0:34:58.000 --> 0:35:01.480 I'm a girl's okay, come on, we're role playing here. Sure, 0:35:01.600 --> 0:35:04.560 Becca way more personality and I really like more and 0:35:04.600 --> 0:35:06.879 beat So if she like is listening that's fine. I'm 0:35:06.880 --> 0:35:09.600 sure now, I'm just like, I don't want everyone to 0:35:09.719 --> 0:35:13.719 like me. Um Becca seems great, and again, if she 0:35:13.920 --> 0:35:16.799 decided to go Bachelorrette route, I think that she should 0:35:16.840 --> 0:35:19.040 probably get a great quality group of guys. I would 0:35:19.080 --> 0:35:21.040 hope so like those guys would be really lucky to 0:35:21.560 --> 0:35:24.200 have the opportunity to be able to date her. But yeah, 0:35:24.640 --> 0:35:27.040 it all depends on what happens tonight. It's weird how 0:35:27.080 --> 0:35:28.799 invested in the season I am, because I think I've 0:35:28.840 --> 0:35:31.000 told you this before I went on Rachel season at Bachelor. 0:35:31.080 --> 0:35:33.080 I was never a fan of The Bachelor, Bachelor or 0:35:33.080 --> 0:35:34.839 anything like that. Has you ever seen an episode at all? 0:35:35.000 --> 0:35:36.719 I've seen a couple episodes, but one of my best 0:35:37.960 --> 0:35:39.480 not quite one of my best friends made you watch 0:35:39.600 --> 0:35:42.000 some of Joe Joe's season or Ben season and then 0:35:42.080 --> 0:35:44.360 jo Jo's season. So I saw like three episodes, but 0:35:44.400 --> 0:35:47.799 they're double I love you, not quite as bad as 0:35:47.800 --> 0:35:49.360 this one. But so, this was the first season I 0:35:49.400 --> 0:35:50.880 watched start to finish, even though I skipped over a 0:35:50.920 --> 0:35:53.200 couple episodes in the middle because it's just two born. Yeah, 0:35:53.960 --> 0:35:55.080 I had a hard time, so I had to force 0:35:55.160 --> 0:35:57.239 myself and I'm I haven't even I haven't even watched 0:35:57.239 --> 0:36:00.160 the final taple ssodes at Winter Games yet. Oh, so 0:36:01.160 --> 0:36:04.640 you haven't watched yourself? Oh, is that the episodes were 0:36:04.640 --> 0:36:07.719 the kissing competitions in it? Let's talk about that for 0:36:07.760 --> 0:36:09.879 a second. Yeah, well we should talk about that, because 0:36:10.280 --> 0:36:13.160 while I didn't watch the episode, there was I was 0:36:13.239 --> 0:36:16.600 on Twitter while the episode is airing. Is there any 0:36:16.760 --> 0:36:20.400 bad blood between you and Rachel? Because it comes across 0:36:20.440 --> 0:36:22.680 that way on on the show. So here's my take 0:36:22.800 --> 0:36:26.120 on that whole kissing competition whatever I was gonna have 0:36:26.160 --> 0:36:30.080 to say, dancing competition. It was definitely not a dancing Well, um, 0:36:30.200 --> 0:36:32.080 let's talk about the kissing competition or just win two 0:36:32.080 --> 0:36:35.040 games in general, but we'll start with the kissing competition. So, um, 0:36:35.800 --> 0:36:37.560 that whole night was was interesting. I think at that 0:36:37.600 --> 0:36:40.560 point there were six couples left, and we walk into 0:36:40.960 --> 0:36:43.000 the Hermitage Club. Every time we walked in one of 0:36:43.000 --> 0:36:44.439 those roads ceremonies, we didn't know how it was gonna 0:36:44.440 --> 0:36:46.759 be structured or what they were going to do every 0:36:46.760 --> 0:36:48.600 single time, and I think part of that was because 0:36:48.640 --> 0:36:50.680 they didn't know what they wanted to do. Um, And 0:36:50.719 --> 0:36:53.319 so we walked into that basically what were we think? 0:36:53.320 --> 0:36:55.520 There was fourteen of us seven couples, and Claire and 0:36:55.960 --> 0:36:58.920 Christian left before they even got to that point. Um, 0:37:00.040 --> 0:37:01.600 and we're sitting there and Chris Harrison comes in. He's like, 0:37:01.600 --> 0:37:03.560 all right, like, we're going to have a kissing competition 0:37:03.640 --> 0:37:06.080 to see who goes home. And immediately I thought, I 0:37:06.120 --> 0:37:07.600 was like, how old are we We're having a kissing 0:37:07.640 --> 0:37:10.239 competition to see who's staying around. And that was the 0:37:10.280 --> 0:37:12.120 first thought that I think Leslie had to because Leslie, now, 0:37:12.120 --> 0:37:15.800 we're very, very uh sound in our relationship and regardless 0:37:15.840 --> 0:37:17.000 of whether we went home that night or not, we 0:37:17.080 --> 0:37:18.600 knew that we were gonna have a relationship outside of 0:37:18.600 --> 0:37:23.080 the show. And so to be presented this like juvenile 0:37:23.239 --> 0:37:26.080 idea of having to perform in a kissing competition to 0:37:26.400 --> 0:37:29.000 prove your merit to stick around on The Bachelor Winter Games, 0:37:29.320 --> 0:37:31.480 we were both kind of like, that's ridiculous. So what 0:37:31.560 --> 0:37:34.680 we're gonna do is fight juvenile with juvenile and turn 0:37:34.880 --> 0:37:38.680 a kissing competition into something just completely ridiculous and just, 0:37:39.040 --> 0:37:40.799 I don't know, have fun with it. And so that's 0:37:40.840 --> 0:37:42.480 kind of where our mindset came from. We're like, we've 0:37:42.520 --> 0:37:44.359 been making out every single day for the past two weeks. 0:37:44.480 --> 0:37:45.960 We don't have to worry about whether we think we 0:37:46.000 --> 0:37:48.160 have other people think we have chemistry or passion or not. 0:37:48.239 --> 0:37:50.800 We know how to kiss. It's fine. Exactly at the 0:37:50.840 --> 0:37:54.640 point that you decided to create your little routine, did 0:37:54.719 --> 0:37:58.480 you know the judges? No, No, absolutely not. That's what 0:37:58.760 --> 0:38:00.959 the issue was, Okay, and there wasn't even an issue. 0:38:01.040 --> 0:38:02.520 So I think we were like sitting there on the 0:38:02.560 --> 0:38:05.200 couch every like all the couples basically branched off and 0:38:05.280 --> 0:38:07.120 they were practicing kissing or whatever it was unless and 0:38:07.160 --> 0:38:09.759 they were like sitting on the couch. Um, like when 0:38:09.840 --> 0:38:11.440 we were like, what do we have to worry about? Like, 0:38:11.480 --> 0:38:13.600 we don't care about again because if we get sent home, 0:38:13.640 --> 0:38:16.200 we're still gonna have a relationship outside of UM. We 0:38:16.280 --> 0:38:18.080 honestly didn't think that there was any real possibility of 0:38:18.120 --> 0:38:21.200 us getting so at home UM because again, Claire and 0:38:21.239 --> 0:38:24.520 Christian never kissed each other. H Josiah and Ali, God, 0:38:24.600 --> 0:38:28.880 we have to talk about Claire too, and so we 0:38:28.960 --> 0:38:30.480 were like, like what could we do? And then we 0:38:30.719 --> 0:38:32.480 started like practicing a kiss. We're like, all right, you're 0:38:32.480 --> 0:38:35.040 gonna bite my lip. On the third smooch and like 0:38:35.120 --> 0:38:37.279 we're all going through like the logistics of kissing each 0:38:37.280 --> 0:38:40.200 other and like this is ridiculous, there's no like what 0:38:40.360 --> 0:38:42.279 the heck, So like let's try and put a fun 0:38:42.360 --> 0:38:43.680 spin on this. And she and then we were like 0:38:43.719 --> 0:38:45.560 talking about her like dance routines in high school, and 0:38:45.600 --> 0:38:47.239 so we were both like, wait, let's like plan a 0:38:47.320 --> 0:38:49.000 core got dance routine. And then it kind of like 0:38:49.040 --> 0:38:51.240 snomballed on this thing. And then they announced the judges 0:38:52.400 --> 0:38:55.640 and yeah, Rachel came down. But what's funny is it 0:38:55.760 --> 0:38:57.440 was just hilarious to see that, you know, like it's 0:38:57.560 --> 0:38:59.880 it's weird and awkward kissing in front of someone that 0:39:00.040 --> 0:39:02.560 dated on TV for however long. But then after the fact, 0:39:03.040 --> 0:39:05.399 like they've had very specific roles and I think Rachel 0:39:05.400 --> 0:39:08.720 eleven tweeted at one point like um one was Simon 0:39:08.800 --> 0:39:12.000 one was oh, Like they were kind of told like yeah, 0:39:12.200 --> 0:39:16.080 being like Rachel, be hypercritical, um Jojo, you're the Randy Jackson, 0:39:16.080 --> 0:39:17.839 You're going to be like the kind of the cool one, 0:39:17.880 --> 0:39:20.680 whatever it is. And even like after the fact, we 0:39:21.120 --> 0:39:23.360 we did the thing and they were basically were relieved 0:39:23.360 --> 0:39:25.920 with their duties of judging, and I was like upstairs, 0:39:26.239 --> 0:39:28.560 everyone was upset, Like all the girls were like I 0:39:28.600 --> 0:39:30.920 can't believe these people come in like judge our kissing ability, 0:39:30.960 --> 0:39:33.279 Like who do they think they are? Um. Kevin was 0:39:33.320 --> 0:39:35.719 like really annoyed because I think they were hypocritical of 0:39:35.760 --> 0:39:38.959 Ashley and his kiss or something they did eventually before 0:39:39.040 --> 0:39:41.239 the results. Um, and I was sitting there like, I 0:39:41.320 --> 0:39:43.440 was like, you guys have to understand how ridiculous this 0:39:43.560 --> 0:39:45.560 thing is. It was all it's it's an act, it's 0:39:45.560 --> 0:39:49.279 a TV show, it's entertainment. But everyone took everything so personally. Um. 0:39:49.440 --> 0:39:51.279 And then like Jojo and Rachel both came upstairs and 0:39:51.320 --> 0:39:53.560 like said high and like we were all friendly. So 0:39:53.680 --> 0:39:56.400 it's like there was no bad blood whatsoever. It was 0:39:56.480 --> 0:39:59.040 just like everyone is playing a character. I think also, 0:39:59.160 --> 0:40:01.360 like the whole on of Winter Games was that no 0:40:01.520 --> 0:40:05.320 one took anything seriously. Nothing about that was serious, and 0:40:05.600 --> 0:40:07.520 especially when you put a kissing competition in there, you 0:40:07.640 --> 0:40:10.520 can't take it serious with like full grown adults. Yes, 0:40:10.880 --> 0:40:13.000 that's so. That's that was the biggest thing with me. 0:40:13.160 --> 0:40:16.720 It was like I'm all for being goofy and quirky 0:40:16.760 --> 0:40:19.200 and juvenile and having fun, but if you guys are 0:40:19.239 --> 0:40:22.800 going to make this very goofy thing seemed very very serious. 0:40:22.960 --> 0:40:25.120 Then we're going to strip it of its seriousness and 0:40:25.280 --> 0:40:27.919 increase the goofiness of it. Um And so that guys 0:40:27.920 --> 0:40:30.560 are set, thank you. And what's funny too is Courtney 0:40:30.560 --> 0:40:32.359 and only had this whole big thing planned and then 0:40:32.920 --> 0:40:34.520 Leslie and I went first, and after we did our thing, 0:40:34.520 --> 0:40:37.440 they decided to kind of nix their whole routine. And 0:40:38.680 --> 0:40:40.759 that's amazing, which is pretty funny. So you were the 0:40:40.760 --> 0:40:43.520 guinea pigs and they said never mind. But I'm very proud. 0:40:43.600 --> 0:40:47.359 I'm very happy with how it ended. So um, yeah, 0:40:47.400 --> 0:40:48.839 that was the one that was another oneter game thing 0:40:48.880 --> 0:40:51.160 that I want to talk about because because there was 0:40:51.239 --> 0:40:53.359 just a lot of I guess chatter about that. Yeah, 0:40:53.440 --> 0:40:56.080 people were like freaking out, and I mean me watching it, 0:40:56.160 --> 0:40:58.040 I'm like, oh my god, does she actually hate him? 0:40:58.040 --> 0:40:59.799 Because she's been on this show before and you guys 0:40:59.840 --> 0:41:02.839 got along great. Yeah. I think you guys are pretty cool, right. 0:41:02.920 --> 0:41:04.839 I mean, we're not friends, but we have no issue 0:41:04.880 --> 0:41:06.799 with each other. What are your thoughts? Like, You're you're 0:41:06.840 --> 0:41:10.239 not friends, but you're friendly with your ex? Yeah, I 0:41:10.280 --> 0:41:12.880 mean I don't think like Rachel I don't text each other, okay, 0:41:13.160 --> 0:41:16.919 but if you like never would or just not regularly, don't. 0:41:17.880 --> 0:41:19.919 I don't think ever, like if I saw her walking 0:41:19.920 --> 0:41:21.080 down the street, I would walk like I'm sure we 0:41:21.120 --> 0:41:22.200 would walk up to each other and be like, hey, 0:41:22.239 --> 0:41:23.920 good to see you. How are you like you do that? 0:41:24.760 --> 0:41:26.520 I wouldn't. I wouldn't text her, and she wouldn't text 0:41:26.520 --> 0:41:27.759 me and be like, hey, how is how are things? 0:41:27.840 --> 0:41:31.919 Because that's weird. It's just and disrespectful of each other's 0:41:31.920 --> 0:41:35.640 current relationships. We sure, okay? Sure? All right? Yeah? Um, 0:41:35.760 --> 0:41:38.719 Clarien ben wois how funny was? I was surprised by that. 0:41:39.840 --> 0:41:42.040 So Leslie and Claire our friends and Leslie it didn't 0:41:42.040 --> 0:41:44.680 even see it coming. Just how long do you know 0:41:44.880 --> 0:41:48.279 how long they were back together? I guess between when 0:41:48.400 --> 0:41:50.960 they called and when they got engaged. When he texted 0:41:50.960 --> 0:41:54.040 her saying like, hey, how are you say? Like six weeks? So? Um? 0:41:56.000 --> 0:41:59.400 What like getting engaged after six weeks? I guess is 0:41:59.400 --> 0:42:01.680 the thing on the back? Yeah, I guess. But like 0:42:02.400 --> 0:42:04.680 that was different. That wasn't on TV. They weren't spending 0:42:04.760 --> 0:42:07.440 all this time together, right, well? I think that so 0:42:07.560 --> 0:42:09.320 ben Wall lives in Canada and Claire lives in sacrament 0:42:09.360 --> 0:42:11.000 I'm pretty sure Ben was spent a lot of time 0:42:11.040 --> 0:42:15.360 in Sacramento with Claire before obviously making that decision. I 0:42:15.440 --> 0:42:18.799 don't know for certain, but I know that Ben wasn't 0:42:18.800 --> 0:42:20.160 incredbly nice guy, and I know that Claire has been 0:42:20.160 --> 0:42:21.759 looking for a nice guy. I like that. So do 0:42:21.840 --> 0:42:23.640 you think they'll work Do you think it's gonna work out? 0:42:23.719 --> 0:42:25.000 I don't think I know either them well enough to 0:42:25.040 --> 0:42:26.520 really make that Okay, you didn't spend a lot of 0:42:26.560 --> 0:42:28.799 time with them, and well, Ben Wall left kind of early, 0:42:28.960 --> 0:42:31.160 kind of early, and honestly, like I spent all my 0:42:31.239 --> 0:42:33.239 time with Leslie, or if I wasn't with Leslie, was 0:42:33.280 --> 0:42:36.240 both Ben or Luke or Ashley, and Luke was pretty 0:42:36.239 --> 0:42:39.000 cool to Stacy as well. That ending, Yeah, that was 0:42:39.040 --> 0:42:42.520 pretty rough. Would you ever, like, how do you end 0:42:42.560 --> 0:42:45.960 a relationship like that? Or did they not have a relationship? 0:42:46.000 --> 0:42:48.799 I feel like we have so much to cover. Yeah, 0:42:48.840 --> 0:42:50.320 the whole Luke and Saucy thing was was kind of 0:42:50.360 --> 0:42:53.520 hard to watch, especially sitting in the audience, um, because 0:42:53.600 --> 0:42:55.160 Luke was like Luke and I had spent the weekend 0:42:55.200 --> 0:42:56.759 up in Carmel with a couple of our other friends 0:42:56.920 --> 0:42:59.400 that weekend before, and he like seemed pretty confident. He 0:42:59.480 --> 0:43:00.919 thought that every one was like on the same page 0:43:00.920 --> 0:43:02.560 in terms like like him and Stacy knew that the 0:43:02.560 --> 0:43:05.360 relationship wasn't gonna work. Um, I didn't really speak to 0:43:05.440 --> 0:43:07.440 him in great depths about anything like that, but like 0:43:07.520 --> 0:43:09.480 he wasn't worried going into it, like oh my, it's 0:43:09.520 --> 0:43:11.120 me so awful seeing her. No, And I think that 0:43:11.200 --> 0:43:13.160 people even tried to be like prepare him a little 0:43:13.160 --> 0:43:14.520 bit and be like, hey, you need to kind of 0:43:14.520 --> 0:43:16.080 figure out what you're going to say up there, and 0:43:16.120 --> 0:43:17.920 he's like, no, that's fine, Like Sacy, do I understand 0:43:17.960 --> 0:43:22.440 each other? Um, because I think that he is. I 0:43:22.719 --> 0:43:24.440 think that he really thought that what he did at 0:43:24.480 --> 0:43:26.680 the end of Winter Games was perfectly adequate in terms 0:43:26.680 --> 0:43:28.279 of like ending the relationship. And I didn't. I don't. 0:43:28.280 --> 0:43:29.920 I didn't see any It was like not on camera, 0:43:30.040 --> 0:43:32.239 it was just like personally. After we got done filming, 0:43:32.280 --> 0:43:33.879 I think we all spent like two or three days 0:43:34.600 --> 0:43:36.440 in the in a hotel without cameras, just kind of 0:43:36.520 --> 0:43:40.279 like camp. Yeah, like decompressing kind of thing. Um, we 0:43:40.320 --> 0:43:42.399 all separate rooms, etcetera, etcetera. But we all got dinner 0:43:42.400 --> 0:43:44.400 together every night and like got some drinks and all 0:43:44.400 --> 0:43:46.279 that kind of stuff. And I think that in that time, 0:43:46.360 --> 0:43:48.120 Luke thought that what he had done was adequate to 0:43:48.239 --> 0:43:50.080 kind of end the relationship. I don't know, I don't 0:43:50.120 --> 0:43:52.800 I don't remember. Yeah, I guess I didn't talk to 0:43:52.840 --> 0:43:54.840 him my great links about it, but feel bad for 0:43:54.960 --> 0:43:57.800 him that it was really brutal. And then mostly it 0:43:57.880 --> 0:44:00.400 was like social media after it was like, because the 0:44:00.440 --> 0:44:04.120 worst people love just making the big little things in 0:44:04.160 --> 0:44:05.759 the big things something that was a little thing because 0:44:05.760 --> 0:44:08.040 against Sacy's feelings are very real and very justified to 0:44:08.040 --> 0:44:10.759 feel that way. But it was just a huge miss communication. Really, 0:44:10.960 --> 0:44:13.239 That's what I think. Yeah, it seems like at least 0:44:14.080 --> 0:44:16.040 it's also funny because I'm like, oh my god, the 0:44:16.160 --> 0:44:18.600 people on social media after, like, you should see me 0:44:19.640 --> 0:44:22.000 tweeting about this show. It is as if my life 0:44:22.480 --> 0:44:23.800 ends on it. And we read some of your tweets 0:44:23.840 --> 0:44:26.960 real quick, Oh gosh, um, let's see from last night. 0:44:30.120 --> 0:44:32.919 Well I tweeted this one this morning. Guys. Two things, One, 0:44:33.120 --> 0:44:35.319 why is no one talking about when Becca came out 0:44:35.360 --> 0:44:37.000 of the limo and had already get on a knee 0:44:37.040 --> 0:44:39.880 and practice proposing and then he did it, not for 0:44:40.000 --> 0:44:43.560 real again to the final rows, broken Already spun her around, 0:44:43.800 --> 0:44:46.879 which is what I was that was that was really 0:44:46.920 --> 0:44:48.759 interesting how Becca was the one that made Already get 0:44:48.800 --> 0:44:51.640 down on one knee and then he proposed And I 0:44:51.680 --> 0:44:54.200 think I'm going to start meeting every man, like every 0:44:54.280 --> 0:44:56.120 first day, I'm going to be like, can you do 0:44:56.239 --> 0:44:58.960 me a favor? Get down on a knee, and say 0:44:59.080 --> 0:45:01.480 let's do the damn thing. So this weird tradition where 0:45:01.480 --> 0:45:02.920 every first day I go on, I make the guy 0:45:03.000 --> 0:45:04.759 get down on a knee, just so I can see 0:45:04.760 --> 0:45:06.719 what the future could potentially hold for it. Yeah, maybe 0:45:06.840 --> 0:45:09.160 every time I'll get engaged. Well she asked him to 0:45:09.239 --> 0:45:10.520 do that and he just pulls a ring out? Is 0:45:10.560 --> 0:45:13.040 that how you know? She like had should they like 0:45:13.160 --> 0:45:14.920 faked it when she came out of the limo at 0:45:14.960 --> 0:45:18.600 the very beginning of the show, And yeah, and it 0:45:18.719 --> 0:45:21.520 was really cute and I at that moment was like 0:45:21.760 --> 0:45:24.799 I love that girl. Yet didn't work out for her though, Um, 0:45:26.320 --> 0:45:28.120 I didn't tweet that much last night. I'm sorry, but 0:45:28.280 --> 0:45:30.479 like I'm part of the problem. You get really amped 0:45:30.520 --> 0:45:32.640 up when you're watching these shows and you think that 0:45:32.719 --> 0:45:35.440 these relationships like you know them all, but you don't know. 0:45:36.040 --> 0:45:38.239 And then it's it's funny too, because social media is 0:45:38.239 --> 0:45:40.320 such a beast, Like you go to Oris page and 0:45:40.320 --> 0:45:41.879 look at all of his comments. You go to even 0:45:41.920 --> 0:45:45.799 like Becca's page or Lawrence page. It's awful. It's so bad, 0:45:45.880 --> 0:45:48.800 and people like they're like attacking like the most personal 0:45:48.880 --> 0:45:50.640 things about someone, which at the end of the day, 0:45:50.680 --> 0:45:52.480 like we we do put ourselves on TV and we 0:45:52.560 --> 0:45:55.000 put ourselves up to be scrutinized like that, but sometimes 0:45:55.040 --> 0:45:56.319 you will just take it to a level that really 0:45:56.320 --> 0:45:58.800 never really needs good to what's your social media have 0:45:58.840 --> 0:46:01.799 been like since you've been fly in a relationship? Are 0:46:01.840 --> 0:46:05.160 people nice? Are people criticizing you? It's been a mixed 0:46:05.200 --> 0:46:09.040 bag really, Yeah, everything about you and Leslie was so 0:46:09.200 --> 0:46:12.360 like pure and innocent and so sweet. And I understand 0:46:12.400 --> 0:46:15.240 that maybe past relationships are like why people are so rude, 0:46:15.320 --> 0:46:17.520 but I thought we had all gotten over that. It 0:46:17.600 --> 0:46:19.280 was funny too, because when Leslie and I were together, 0:46:19.760 --> 0:46:22.520 uh yeah, during Winter Games, I kept telling her and 0:46:22.640 --> 0:46:24.320 like I was like, you have I just want you 0:46:24.360 --> 0:46:25.640 to be ready for like kind of like this this 0:46:25.800 --> 0:46:29.400 Malstrom that's going to come after the fact, like and 0:46:29.480 --> 0:46:31.160 I did my best to prepare here, but they definitely 0:46:31.200 --> 0:46:32.839 like took a toll in the relationship right away. It's 0:46:32.840 --> 0:46:35.840 hard to go from dating someone for fourteen days in 0:46:36.560 --> 0:46:38.320 a bubble and then like you get out of that 0:46:38.360 --> 0:46:39.680 bubble and you kind of have to relearn how to 0:46:39.760 --> 0:46:41.480 date that person because you're learning so much more about them, 0:46:41.480 --> 0:46:42.960 like how they interact on a daily basis if you're 0:46:42.960 --> 0:46:44.640 not going to see them instead of you're just living 0:46:44.640 --> 0:46:46.560 in the same house as them. And there were moments too, 0:46:46.600 --> 0:46:47.920 where I think both of us were kind of like 0:46:48.480 --> 0:46:51.799 this sucks, Like we really liked each other during Winter 0:46:51.920 --> 0:46:54.560 Games and things are incredibly challenging right now, and I 0:46:54.640 --> 0:46:56.160 think there were moments that both of us were like, 0:46:56.239 --> 0:46:58.480 maybe we should just kind of take a step back 0:46:58.520 --> 0:47:01.160 and like are you freaking did everything? But I think 0:47:01.200 --> 0:47:02.959 at the end of the day, like we both really 0:47:03.000 --> 0:47:04.800 genuinely liked each other, and there was a lot of 0:47:04.920 --> 0:47:09.080 things that we're difficult but weren't difficult to get rid of. 0:47:09.160 --> 0:47:10.880 I guess, like, how did you get over that kind 0:47:10.920 --> 0:47:14.239 of stuff? Um, it just takes time. It was it was, 0:47:14.840 --> 0:47:16.440 it's still taking time. I mean, I think that we're 0:47:16.480 --> 0:47:17.719 really in a really a good spot, and I can 0:47:17.800 --> 0:47:19.920 say very safely say that I'm in like the healthiest 0:47:19.920 --> 0:47:24.120 relationship I've ever been in, and I'm incredibly happy. Um, 0:47:25.040 --> 0:47:29.920 but there were a lot of times where hey, Mark, yeah, 0:47:29.960 --> 0:47:31.719 there were a lot of times that really tested our 0:47:31.840 --> 0:47:34.720 I guess our relationship for sure. It's it's so detrimental 0:47:34.800 --> 0:47:36.920 to relationships, especially have to like hide it, to not 0:47:37.000 --> 0:47:39.320 be able to like post public pictures, to not be 0:47:39.360 --> 0:47:42.000 able to like talk on a podcast about the relationship 0:47:42.040 --> 0:47:43.560 that you're in, and have to talk about a hypothetical 0:47:43.640 --> 0:47:48.319 podcast or relationship, um, if he's in a relationship. Yeah, 0:47:48.400 --> 0:47:51.640 it's super, super challenging, and I like incredible respect for 0:47:52.239 --> 0:47:54.120 the leads of the shows who have to hide it 0:47:54.160 --> 0:47:56.560 to the fullest extent because less than I tried to 0:47:56.640 --> 0:47:58.080 hide it, but we we really weren't. Yeah, you guys 0:47:58.120 --> 0:48:00.440 were horrible. I could tell like every moment that you 0:48:00.520 --> 0:48:03.239 were together, she'd be posting the exact same things the 0:48:03.360 --> 0:48:05.600 lead to the show. This is interesting on social media, 0:48:05.719 --> 0:48:09.440 they're posting like like photos every week of like, oh, 0:48:09.520 --> 0:48:11.560 this amazing date with this girl and then two weeks 0:48:11.600 --> 0:48:13.200 of breaking up with them on TV. But they had 0:48:13.239 --> 0:48:15.920 to pretend like it was like he posted so much 0:48:16.000 --> 0:48:19.759 lovely stuff about Becca, probably definitely after they broke up. 0:48:21.320 --> 0:48:25.759 I think that's tricky. I mean, you definitely have to 0:48:25.880 --> 0:48:27.520 kind of tell the story through you on social media 0:48:27.640 --> 0:48:29.680 as this season's unfolding, even though it already happened to 0:48:29.680 --> 0:48:32.080 you in your life. I don't think that when I 0:48:32.200 --> 0:48:34.160 went through the first season, there were never any obligations 0:48:34.320 --> 0:48:36.440 to post about anything at any time. It was just like, 0:48:36.520 --> 0:48:38.200 you post kind of about what you're what you want 0:48:38.239 --> 0:48:41.279 to post, which makes me think I would imagine that 0:48:41.440 --> 0:48:43.160 Area had the same privilege of kind of posting what 0:48:43.239 --> 0:48:44.480 you want when he wanted, and no one was ever 0:48:44.520 --> 0:48:46.279 like you need to post about this to do this whatever. 0:48:46.680 --> 0:48:49.320 I talked back up today and like she posted stuff 0:48:49.400 --> 0:48:52.239 just last week being like like with him, and I'm like, 0:48:52.320 --> 0:48:54.520 did they require her to post that? I can almost 0:48:54.600 --> 0:48:57.319 assure you that they did not require her. God, which 0:48:57.440 --> 0:48:59.920 it's I don't know. It's kind of hard to be 0:49:00.000 --> 0:49:02.560 because even though it are, even though you've already experienced that, 0:49:02.600 --> 0:49:07.080 you're reliving it again through the TV screen, and it's 0:49:07.120 --> 0:49:08.520 almost kind of like you're in that moment again. I 0:49:08.560 --> 0:49:11.279 guess even though she it's really tricky. I don't know. 0:49:11.800 --> 0:49:13.279 Did you like feel like you got broken up with 0:49:13.320 --> 0:49:15.839 again when you rewatched your break up with Rachel? Are 0:49:15.920 --> 0:49:20.800 we kind of moved on that? When I watched it, 0:49:21.000 --> 0:49:24.360 I was already through Paradise. Oh my god, that was 0:49:24.400 --> 0:49:26.360 way after the fact. Okay, so you were moved on? 0:49:26.560 --> 0:49:29.200 How was watching Paradise back awful? I watched it in 0:49:29.360 --> 0:49:32.640 my room by myself every night at eleven PM before bed, 0:49:36.160 --> 0:49:38.040 and I watched it with both hands over my eyes, 0:49:38.080 --> 0:49:40.920 speaking through the creeks, is in my fingers, like I 0:49:41.040 --> 0:49:43.160 still watching a resident evil scary movie or something like that. 0:49:43.680 --> 0:49:46.000 It was kind of a scary movie for you. It's 0:49:46.040 --> 0:49:47.919 like a scary reality show. And I didn't. I listened 0:49:47.960 --> 0:49:50.080 with no sound and with close caption. Hey Mark, how 0:49:50.160 --> 0:49:53.680 are you? Oh my god? Okay, I think I know 0:49:53.760 --> 0:49:55.600 the answer to this already, but I've I've been curious. 0:49:55.760 --> 0:49:58.239 Do you You don't have any like if something goes 0:49:58.360 --> 0:50:02.120 like really sideway while you're on a date with somebody 0:50:02.160 --> 0:50:04.320 on this show and you like, can you go to 0:50:04.320 --> 0:50:07.120 a producer? Please? Please don't air that you can ask 0:50:07.280 --> 0:50:09.000 for There were a lot of things auring Winter Games 0:50:09.040 --> 0:50:11.120 that I asked them not to air, just in terms 0:50:11.160 --> 0:50:13.040 of like, I feel like we didn't see that much, 0:50:13.040 --> 0:50:16.080 even Leslie on Winter Games. We didn't and that's fine. Um, 0:50:17.200 --> 0:50:21.960 I was just like conversations about talking about like my 0:50:22.040 --> 0:50:24.640 past relationships. I want to speak to you specifically, but 0:50:24.719 --> 0:50:25.840 I was like, I just don't want this to be 0:50:25.880 --> 0:50:27.920 a new storyline, Like I want the storyline of lesson 0:50:27.920 --> 0:50:29.400 to me to be the one that's told, not the 0:50:29.440 --> 0:50:31.759 one in my past relationship, you know. And there were 0:50:31.760 --> 0:50:33.680 moments even two watching Winter Games back and again. I 0:50:33.680 --> 0:50:36.040 haven't watched the third and fourth episode, but the first 0:50:36.040 --> 0:50:38.279 two episodes there were things that I was like, they 0:50:38.320 --> 0:50:41.360 really messed me over with the editing. Um, but I 0:50:41.400 --> 0:50:42.719 mean it's like, what can you expect that because he 0:50:42.760 --> 0:50:45.839 can't really go in there expect pent accuracy. Were there 0:50:45.840 --> 0:50:51.759 are things they didn't show that you wish they had, Um, Yeah, 0:50:51.800 --> 0:50:53.400 they didn't show we had Like because Lessie and I 0:50:53.440 --> 0:50:54.800 went on two dates, I didn't really show either of 0:50:54.800 --> 0:50:56.840 those dates very much at all. They didn't show the 0:50:56.920 --> 0:50:58.880 dates at all. In Winter Games. It was like all 0:50:58.880 --> 0:51:00.320 of a sudden, you saw a five seconds clip and 0:51:00.320 --> 0:51:03.319 then was over. That was kind of annoying. But again, 0:51:03.360 --> 0:51:05.360 I think that's only developing storylines. I didn't really just 0:51:05.360 --> 0:51:08.359 have enough time to tell everything. Four episodes two hours long. UM. 0:51:08.640 --> 0:51:10.640 But all in all, I mean it was a good experience. 0:51:10.680 --> 0:51:13.240 I'm incredibly happy, Like Leslie and I don't have producers 0:51:13.320 --> 0:51:14.960 texting and calling us every single day to check in 0:51:15.040 --> 0:51:17.360 on us. It's it's so much more relieving to have 0:51:17.440 --> 0:51:19.480 a relationship where you can just like be yourselves in 0:51:19.520 --> 0:51:21.879 the relationship. At what point did you have producers every 0:51:22.239 --> 0:51:24.839 like leading up to the reunion, like how are things 0:51:24.880 --> 0:51:26.320 with you and Leslie? Unless he was like I was like, 0:51:26.920 --> 0:51:28.279 I was like I would remember, I would call Leslie 0:51:28.280 --> 0:51:30.439 and Leslie like, I got three calls from producers today 0:51:30.680 --> 0:51:32.920 continuously asking me how I am. This is like the 0:51:32.960 --> 0:51:35.440 most anxiety written thing, like I'm I'm like freaking out, 0:51:35.440 --> 0:51:37.279 blah blah blah blah blah. And She's like, yeah, they 0:51:37.360 --> 0:51:40.080 keep calling me to UM, and I think they just 0:51:40.120 --> 0:51:41.560 want to have like a very real idea of what 0:51:41.760 --> 0:51:43.680 they can kind of set up for the finale or 0:51:43.719 --> 0:51:46.200 for the reunion whatever it is. UM. So you're getting 0:51:46.200 --> 0:51:49.400 on a knee with the key, they're setting that up 0:51:49.440 --> 0:51:51.640 along or do you set that up with that your idea. Well, 0:51:51.640 --> 0:51:53.400 they didn't set that up. That wasn't like something that 0:51:53.440 --> 0:51:56.040 they played the no that I mean, see you surprise 0:51:56.080 --> 0:51:58.520 the producers and we're like, I'm gonna pretend to propose 0:51:58.680 --> 0:52:05.000 it was a joint idea. But you and Leslie okay, Yeah, 0:52:05.080 --> 0:52:08.479 and it's nice. It's it's very again, I think Leslie 0:52:08.920 --> 0:52:12.320 relationship has gone through the hardest points of having to 0:52:12.400 --> 0:52:14.120 get past the part of being on TV and now 0:52:14.160 --> 0:52:16.399 we can just be normal people and have a relationship. Yeah, 0:52:16.800 --> 0:52:19.680 which is exciting. What does that like look like for 0:52:19.760 --> 0:52:22.560 you guys, because she travels all the time. Yeah, I 0:52:22.600 --> 0:52:24.200 mean we both kind of like traveling. So we just 0:52:24.239 --> 0:52:27.800 got back from Honduras for two weeks. Um. It's funny. 0:52:27.800 --> 0:52:29.160 I think we've been dating for three months and the 0:52:29.200 --> 0:52:31.200 longest time we've spent apart from each other like seven days. 0:52:31.280 --> 0:52:33.080 Like we've go We've done these trips where we spent 0:52:33.120 --> 0:52:35.880 like two weeks consecutively with each other. Um, and then 0:52:35.920 --> 0:52:37.880 like we'll spend weekends together, like we're going to Colorado 0:52:37.920 --> 0:52:41.359 this weekend. I'm going to India next week for two 0:52:41.400 --> 0:52:43.319 weeks without her, like with just some of my best friends. 0:52:43.680 --> 0:52:45.440 So that'll be interesting to see how I'm sure. I mean, 0:52:45.480 --> 0:52:46.719 obviously I'm sure we'll be fine, but that will be 0:52:46.719 --> 0:52:48.400 the longest duration of time that we spent apart from 0:52:48.400 --> 0:52:52.680 each other. Um. But I think it's it's I'm very 0:52:52.840 --> 0:52:55.160 excited for what the future holds, which is very fun 0:52:55.239 --> 0:52:56.640 to say. I haven't really been able to say that 0:52:56.680 --> 0:52:59.600 at all. There have been so many people, sorry, market 0:53:00.360 --> 0:53:02.920 so many people coming out from my life asking if 0:53:02.920 --> 0:53:04.960 you guys are engaged because they know I work on 0:53:05.040 --> 0:53:07.080 this show, and I'm like, and I've been saying yes 0:53:07.160 --> 0:53:09.239 every single time. I love it. Some all of my 0:53:09.280 --> 0:53:10.799 best friends have even text me and they're like, hey, 0:53:11.440 --> 0:53:14.040 are you engaged? And like, if I was really engaged, 0:53:14.120 --> 0:53:16.800 I would have told all of you guys, um, but 0:53:16.840 --> 0:53:18.920 they would like send me because Leslie posted an instagram 0:53:18.960 --> 0:53:20.959 of me on a knee and they were all sending 0:53:21.000 --> 0:53:22.400 they were all sending me that picture, like what the 0:53:22.440 --> 0:53:25.239 hell is this? And I was like, well, maybe you 0:53:25.239 --> 0:53:29.080 should just watch because it was fun. Like it was. 0:53:29.200 --> 0:53:30.520 It was very lighthearted at the end of the day. 0:53:30.560 --> 0:53:32.960 And I mean, Leslie knew that I wasn't going to 0:53:33.000 --> 0:53:35.160 ask her to marry me in that moment, so it 0:53:35.280 --> 0:53:39.200 was just very lighthearted gesture and like, and she's technically homeless. 0:53:39.200 --> 0:53:42.040 She travels around all the time, so it's important for 0:53:42.080 --> 0:53:44.080 her to know that if she ever needs a place 0:53:44.120 --> 0:53:45.799 to stay, she can stay at my house. Why are 0:53:45.840 --> 0:53:48.759 you going to India? Um? All places in the world 0:53:49.080 --> 0:53:50.640 just kind of random. My best friend got a job 0:53:50.840 --> 0:53:53.440 out there last year with the Amazon Unscripted and so 0:53:53.600 --> 0:53:55.600 me and like four my other great friends are just 0:53:55.640 --> 0:53:58.239 traveling out there to visiting for the first That's a 0:53:58.280 --> 0:53:59.719 good reason to go to India. So we're doing the 0:53:59.760 --> 0:54:05.200 pod cast from India. Then R coming with me. Welcome 0:54:05.239 --> 0:54:07.640 Mark to the studio. We missed you. Thank you. I'm sorry. 0:54:07.800 --> 0:54:10.320 I get stuck in meetings sometimes. Okay, I apologize. I 0:54:10.440 --> 0:54:15.960 understand I'm not the priority in your heart media. What 0:54:16.040 --> 0:54:17.680 did I miss? Was it a great show? Well? We 0:54:17.719 --> 0:54:20.080 talked a lot about the last night's Bachelor finale. Um, 0:54:20.200 --> 0:54:22.600 did you take any phone call We spoke with Justin 0:54:22.719 --> 0:54:27.400 McMillan founder, Yeah, about hugging about treehouse recovery. So I 0:54:27.520 --> 0:54:30.040 was not our usual guest, I would say, but it 0:54:30.120 --> 0:54:32.680 was nice to hear a perspective. What about emails, I 0:54:32.800 --> 0:54:34.839 haven't any emails yet. Well, should we do that before 0:54:34.880 --> 0:54:37.800 we wrap it up. I feel like I should because 0:54:37.960 --> 0:54:41.600 people need your help. I think that we didn't have 0:54:41.680 --> 0:54:43.719 an Asked Dean Anything planned we were going to and 0:54:43.800 --> 0:54:44.920 I was wondering if we're going to do this. So 0:54:45.000 --> 0:54:46.759 let's let's we lock it in for next week. You 0:54:46.760 --> 0:54:48.960 can say that for next week, ask Dean anything next week, 0:54:49.000 --> 0:54:53.000 because he's finally freed of the shackles of constraints of 0:54:53.080 --> 0:54:56.000 a contractual obligation to reality television. And I think that 0:54:56.080 --> 0:54:57.400 it's good that we set it up that way a 0:54:57.600 --> 0:55:00.080 because now we can kind of like tease it for 0:55:00.200 --> 0:55:02.840 next week a little bit and be everyone's so focused 0:55:02.840 --> 0:55:05.839 on the Bachelor finale, that's true. Who cares about Dean 0:55:06.640 --> 0:55:09.359 any day of the week less this week. Well that's 0:55:09.360 --> 0:55:11.520 a good plan. So next week, get your questions ready. 0:55:11.520 --> 0:55:14.040 We'll take some phone calls and we'll look on you. 0:55:14.120 --> 0:55:15.799 You can, you can tweet us your questions or whatever. 0:55:15.880 --> 0:55:17.799 We'll do Ask Dean anything next week. I'll tweet out 0:55:17.800 --> 0:55:20.239 a phone number for us to call. Okay, great, so 0:55:20.560 --> 0:55:23.200 watch Dean do do the alert thing for Dean add 0:55:23.200 --> 0:55:27.600 an alert to your phone for postifications. I wish I could. 0:55:27.719 --> 0:55:29.839 That's what it is. Still that at Twitter. I would 0:55:29.880 --> 0:55:33.080 never urge anyone to turn on post edifications. Erica has 0:55:33.120 --> 0:55:34.879 a for Taylor Swift. Yeah, that's it. That's the only 0:55:34.920 --> 0:55:38.040 person that's good. From anonymous Dean and Mark, I want 0:55:38.080 --> 0:55:40.279 your opinion on this. I've beendating my boyfriend over four years. 0:55:40.320 --> 0:55:43.200 We moved in together in June. Everything's great, he is 0:55:43.320 --> 0:55:46.319 my person. Here's the plot twist. I did his old 0:55:46.400 --> 0:55:49.880 friend slash college teammate obviously prior to my boyfriend and 0:55:49.880 --> 0:55:52.520 I got together. And yes, my boyfriend's old teammate was 0:55:52.640 --> 0:55:57.000 my first love, my first everything. Fast forward to present day, 0:55:57.239 --> 0:55:59.680 four years later with my boyfriend six years later from 0:55:59.680 --> 0:56:01.400 my first love, and the first love has moved to 0:56:01.480 --> 0:56:03.719 the same city that we live in. We hang out 0:56:03.760 --> 0:56:06.600 almost every weekend. I also work with my first love. 0:56:07.280 --> 0:56:09.200 He's in a four year relationship as well, but his 0:56:09.280 --> 0:56:13.279 girlfriend doesn't know about the past. There are instances where 0:56:13.320 --> 0:56:15.120 we'll all get drunk on the weekends and the first 0:56:15.200 --> 0:56:17.480 level make comments about back in the day. Help what 0:56:17.560 --> 0:56:20.080 do I do ignore the comments when he's drunk? What 0:56:20.200 --> 0:56:29.760 do we do about his current girlfriend not knowing? Dean's 0:56:29.760 --> 0:56:32.680 really given some thoughts. What I'm waiting for Dean to Erica, 0:56:32.760 --> 0:56:36.440 go ahead, Well, I don't think the comments are harmful. 0:56:37.200 --> 0:56:39.640 My first love and I are still friendly because we 0:56:39.719 --> 0:56:42.600 have all the same high school friends and like he 0:56:43.080 --> 0:56:48.280 will make sometimes jokes. It's fine. We have not hooked 0:56:48.320 --> 0:56:53.560 up again in many years, and it happened once, but 0:56:53.680 --> 0:56:56.520 it has been several several years laps once post relation 0:56:56.600 --> 0:56:59.359 one time and like whatever, it was literally years ago. 0:56:59.440 --> 0:57:01.480 But you're also single, and is he single? He has 0:57:01.520 --> 0:57:06.160 a girlfriend. His girlfriend doesn't really love me, but we 0:57:06.280 --> 0:57:08.560 are working on that because I run into her all 0:57:08.600 --> 0:57:11.439 the time and it's fine. And so he was dating 0:57:11.480 --> 0:57:13.759 her when you guys, No, no, god, no, oh my god, no, 0:57:13.880 --> 0:57:15.840 wonder she would hate me if that was the case. No, no, 0:57:15.960 --> 0:57:19.000 but I get you're not liking your boyfriend hanging out 0:57:19.000 --> 0:57:21.840 with his exes. I get that perspective. I'm kind of 0:57:21.920 --> 0:57:26.280 an intimidating personality as well. I get it. It's fine, Um, 0:57:26.800 --> 0:57:28.880 but I don't think the comments are harmful. But the 0:57:28.920 --> 0:57:31.240 girlfriend should know that he works with But I would 0:57:31.240 --> 0:57:34.200 say it's not anonymous as responsibility to tell the girlfriend. 0:57:34.320 --> 0:57:36.080 That's up to him. Oh heck, now, yeah, that's on 0:57:36.280 --> 0:57:38.880 him to make that clear to her. That's his responsibility. 0:57:39.520 --> 0:57:41.880 I didn't follow that story incredibly well, so I'm struggling 0:57:41.880 --> 0:57:44.280 to understand. It is a little bit complicated, but I 0:57:44.320 --> 0:57:49.520 think it's basically her ex from college is now in 0:57:49.600 --> 0:57:52.360 the city with her and her boyfriend and they all 0:57:52.400 --> 0:57:54.880 hang out together but they're both in relationships. Yeah, I 0:57:54.920 --> 0:57:58.240 think they're harmless comments. Her current boyfriend is like buddies 0:57:58.320 --> 0:58:00.440 with her X. I think it's fine, and he seems 0:58:00.480 --> 0:58:03.240 down with everything. It's just the ex girl the the 0:58:03.400 --> 0:58:08.400 current exs girlfriend that doesn't know. I hate it. Actually, 0:58:08.400 --> 0:58:10.720 I'm sorry. I don't like the situation at all. So 0:58:10.840 --> 0:58:12.680 what do you What is the girl supposed to do? 0:58:12.800 --> 0:58:16.800 Tell the girlfriend? UM, I guess it really depends where 0:58:16.800 --> 0:58:20.080 the comments are, but it's just a very That's a 0:58:20.120 --> 0:58:23.640 pretty unhealthy dynamic. If you're dating a guy who you is, 0:58:23.840 --> 0:58:25.840 who is your person, but who is also best friends 0:58:25.880 --> 0:58:27.880 with the first love of your life, that's weird. Who 0:58:27.960 --> 0:58:30.760 makes comments about the good old days, that's weird. I 0:58:30.800 --> 0:58:33.960 don't like it. So what's your advice, UM, don't get 0:58:34.040 --> 0:58:36.520 drunk with the first love. I kind of agree with that. 0:58:37.640 --> 0:58:39.080 You can still be friends, but just don't get drunk 0:58:39.120 --> 0:58:41.080 around each other. Yeah, why are you hanging out so much? 0:58:41.120 --> 0:58:43.880 What's with that? Why do they work together? Is another 0:58:45.640 --> 0:58:48.080 He's hard to avoid if they work together, But you 0:58:48.120 --> 0:58:50.360 don't think I think the issue is when they're drunk, 0:58:50.360 --> 0:58:52.200 because when they talk about the feelings that they maybe 0:58:52.280 --> 0:58:54.600 once had, and that just just there's no place for 0:58:54.640 --> 0:58:57.040 that in their relationship. But you can work together because 0:58:57.040 --> 0:58:58.360 you're not gonna be drunk at work. You're not gonna 0:58:58.360 --> 0:59:00.880 be shooting your feelings at work. For that's my that's 0:59:01.080 --> 0:59:07.000 keep it professional. Eric was like, I'm drunk, right, I'm 0:59:07.040 --> 0:59:11.560 not h Anonymous. Another anonymous to Dean Mark Eastern Erica, 0:59:11.640 --> 0:59:14.160 look at that she had all four of us. I'm 0:59:14.200 --> 0:59:17.040 twenty five, married, happy. I met my husband in a 0:59:17.120 --> 0:59:19.000 very unorthodox way three years ago. Okay, so this is 0:59:19.000 --> 0:59:20.600 a little confusing too, but this is a good one. 0:59:20.640 --> 0:59:23.440 I like this. This is very interesting to me. All right. 0:59:23.600 --> 0:59:25.720 Prior to my current relationship, as I was in a 0:59:25.760 --> 0:59:28.080 relationship for seven years with my ex, we were a 0:59:28.160 --> 0:59:31.200 high school sweethearts. We're gonna call him Steve. He bought 0:59:31.240 --> 0:59:33.760 me a lesson to learn to fly at my local 0:59:33.840 --> 0:59:36.960 airport on my birthday. Great gift. When I went in 0:59:37.080 --> 0:59:39.320 for my lesson. I found out my instructor was another 0:59:39.360 --> 0:59:40.920 guy I went to high school with. We're gonna call 0:59:41.000 --> 0:59:44.840 him Mike. He took my breath away. He was so handsome, 0:59:44.880 --> 0:59:47.880 funny and smart, and he is now my husband. I 0:59:48.160 --> 0:59:51.440 dumped Steve after seven years for Mike, and it was 0:59:51.440 --> 0:59:54.480 an awful breaker. Of course, it was awful. Steve got 0:59:54.520 --> 0:59:56.360 you the gift. If he wouldn't got you, if he 0:59:56.440 --> 0:59:59.960 gotten you something else, you might still be together. Steve. 1:00:02.440 --> 1:00:05.200 Steve was heartbroken, rightfully. He begged me not to leave. 1:00:05.320 --> 1:00:08.040 I found out months later that Steve supposedly had a 1:00:08.160 --> 1:00:09.840 ring for me and was going to ask me to 1:00:10.000 --> 1:00:12.560 marry him. I cared for Steve a lot, but we 1:00:12.600 --> 1:00:14.880 didn't have the best relationship anyway. It's been three years 1:00:14.880 --> 1:00:16.880 since the breakup. I haven't talked to Steve since, but 1:00:16.920 --> 1:00:19.840 I feel like I never got complete closure. I still 1:00:19.880 --> 1:00:22.320 feel guilty after finding out he had a ring. Why 1:00:22.360 --> 1:00:24.959 am I still hung up on this? I'm truly happy 1:00:25.040 --> 1:00:27.040 with my husband. I can't seem to get over it, though. 1:00:27.440 --> 1:00:30.000 Do I talk to Steve three years later, even though 1:00:30.040 --> 1:00:32.440 he has a serious girlfriend now and I'm married, Or 1:00:32.480 --> 1:00:34.600 do I hope it all goes away. By the way, 1:00:34.760 --> 1:00:36.800 my husband, Mike, he knows how I feel about this. 1:00:37.080 --> 1:00:40.240 He says, don't open those doors again. Your husband is 1:00:40.280 --> 1:00:43.000 a wise man. I agree with Mike. Yes, why would 1:00:43.040 --> 1:00:45.360 you open up a Pandora's box from three years ago? 1:00:45.760 --> 1:00:48.000 Don't even talk to Steve. Don't even think, well, you 1:00:48.040 --> 1:00:49.840 can think about Steve. It's you can't just tell someone 1:00:49.880 --> 1:00:52.200 not to think about something. But don't think about talking 1:00:52.280 --> 1:00:55.040 to him again. Absolutely, you want to be sensitive to 1:00:55.080 --> 1:00:58.560 Steve's feelings here, because he was destroyed by this, and 1:00:58.600 --> 1:01:00.920 there's a pretty good chance if it's three years later 1:01:00.920 --> 1:01:02.680 and he's got a girlfriend, that he's gotten over it 1:01:02.800 --> 1:01:06.280 to some extent. I don't know, maybe all the way. 1:01:06.560 --> 1:01:08.520 But if you go back into his life, you're gonna 1:01:08.680 --> 1:01:11.560 rip open all of those scabs. And you don't want 1:01:11.600 --> 1:01:14.040 to do that. And it's for a selfish excuse me, 1:01:14.320 --> 1:01:19.440 selfish reason. You getting closure, you don't. You ended it. 1:01:19.760 --> 1:01:21.840 You ended it, and you're happy, You're good. You got 1:01:21.920 --> 1:01:25.240 what you needed. Steve, hopefully we'll also get what he needs. 1:01:25.440 --> 1:01:27.400 But it's for you, it's not for him. I say 1:01:27.480 --> 1:01:29.840 leave it alone. I think everyone involved in that situation 1:01:30.120 --> 1:01:34.520 stands to lose in that situation. Yeah, Steve, Mike Anonymous 1:01:35.080 --> 1:01:40.440 and Steve, Steve's girlfriends. There's a zero win situation and 1:01:40.520 --> 1:01:44.360 that in that whole thing, don't talk to Steve. It's 1:01:44.400 --> 1:01:47.200 good that your husband knows everything. That's the important thing. Yeah, 1:01:47.320 --> 1:01:49.760 that's great. Good that you're open with about that stuff. 1:01:50.640 --> 1:01:54.160 She should have done no, sorry, Becca should have done 1:01:54.560 --> 1:01:57.280 what her husband did and said, no, don't start talking 1:01:57.320 --> 1:01:59.480 to your X again, because that's why Ari is getting 1:01:59.480 --> 1:02:02.040 back together with Lauren. But here's the thing. Did Becca 1:02:02.120 --> 1:02:03.960 know that are he was talking to his X again? Yes, 1:02:04.080 --> 1:02:05.960 Becca gave him permission to have a sit down with him. 1:02:06.040 --> 1:02:08.880 They didn't really address it. They didn't really address it 1:02:08.960 --> 1:02:12.080 last night, but they kind of mentioned it and then 1:02:12.520 --> 1:02:15.560 she confirmed in like people or something. Anyway, I'm just saying, 1:02:15.600 --> 1:02:18.560 can we can we? I'm sorry to everything. I didn't 1:02:18.600 --> 1:02:20.360 know that Lauren and him. I didn't know that Becky 1:02:20.360 --> 1:02:22.760 gave him permission talk to Lauren. I can see Becca's 1:02:22.760 --> 1:02:24.480 confident relationships, so she's like, yeah, I go talk to 1:02:24.560 --> 1:02:28.120 her closure. Yeah. Also, I didn't let Lauren already met 1:02:28.160 --> 1:02:30.080 each other before the season started. Did you catch that? 1:02:30.720 --> 1:02:33.560 I skimmed over it. I didn't understand it, I do 1:02:33.640 --> 1:02:35.600 you know what it was? They met in Dallas, and 1:02:36.160 --> 1:02:38.440 let me google upon the next email all of answers 1:02:38.480 --> 1:02:39.520 by the end of the okay, and then let me 1:02:39.560 --> 1:02:42.280 tell you about Rosie. Rosie started hooking up with a 1:02:42.320 --> 1:02:45.120 coworker a few months ago. It was a semi regular, 1:02:45.200 --> 1:02:49.360 secret trift type scenario. I was recently let go, she says, 1:02:49.400 --> 1:02:51.840 which was devastating on many levels, and since then we've 1:02:51.880 --> 1:02:54.720 been seeing each other much more frequently. Here's the deal. 1:02:55.200 --> 1:02:57.280 I started sleeping with him because there was no risk 1:02:57.320 --> 1:03:00.560 of emotional attachment with him. He's five years younger than 1:03:00.640 --> 1:03:03.880 I am and much less mature and experienced. Neither of 1:03:04.000 --> 1:03:08.080 us wanted anything more than casual and relations with each other. 1:03:08.600 --> 1:03:11.520 All of a sudden, now I find myself craving his presence, 1:03:11.640 --> 1:03:14.720 and not even just for the action. I just want 1:03:14.760 --> 1:03:17.080 to hear him talk and see his face. Do you 1:03:17.160 --> 1:03:19.920 think that my sudden attachment is just displaced sadness? Am 1:03:19.960 --> 1:03:22.960 I just sad in this horny a f or does 1:03:23.200 --> 1:03:26.960 casual sex always evolve into more if it's consistent? What 1:03:27.160 --> 1:03:29.240 do you do if you don't want to like someone? 1:03:29.760 --> 1:03:32.040 Thanks so much Love the podcast Agree. The title is 1:03:32.120 --> 1:03:35.240 mody offensive, but also understand the logistical difficulties of changing 1:03:35.280 --> 1:03:37.200 the name of a program that's already established. Well, thank 1:03:37.200 --> 1:03:41.840 you Ros, such a rational thinker. He is, you want 1:03:41.840 --> 1:03:43.120 to start on this one, but yeah, I'd love to. 1:03:43.280 --> 1:03:45.640 I think that, Uh what does she say? Does casual 1:03:45.680 --> 1:03:48.400 sex always I'm sorry, just casual action always evolve into 1:03:48.440 --> 1:03:51.360 more of its consistent Um? Yeah, I think it's pretty 1:03:51.360 --> 1:03:52.760 silly to sit there and think if you're going to 1:03:52.840 --> 1:03:54.720 constantly have someone over and be intimate with them, that 1:03:54.760 --> 1:03:57.400 it's not gonna leads anything more unless you're heartless. I 1:03:57.520 --> 1:03:59.040 think at the end of the day, like you're going 1:03:59.120 --> 1:04:01.040 to develop those feeling is. I don't understand maybe why 1:04:01.080 --> 1:04:03.320 she was fighting them so much because he's five years younger, 1:04:03.520 --> 1:04:06.800 so what so what? Yeah, Okay, he's less mature than 1:04:06.840 --> 1:04:09.760 you are and less experience, but you've clearly developed feelings 1:04:09.840 --> 1:04:12.440 for him. So I think you have two choices. You 1:04:12.560 --> 1:04:15.120 let him know your feelings and see if they're reciprocated, 1:04:15.640 --> 1:04:19.760 or two, you end it and stop the casual hookups. Erica, 1:04:20.520 --> 1:04:22.280 she's gonna have to end it. He's probably not feeling 1:04:22.280 --> 1:04:23.960 the same way. Well, we don't know how he's feeling 1:04:23.960 --> 1:04:26.720 that she didn't really mention that. But god, you guys, 1:04:26.880 --> 1:04:28.960 this happens all the time. I've been there. You hook 1:04:29.040 --> 1:04:31.000 up with someone and you're like, it's fun, it's fun, 1:04:31.080 --> 1:04:32.800 it's fun, and then the girl falls for him and 1:04:32.840 --> 1:04:34.920 the guy or yeah, the girl falls for him and 1:04:35.000 --> 1:04:37.520 the guy could care less. But it's certainly possible that 1:04:37.560 --> 1:04:40.520 a guy in a friends with benefits situation can develop feelings. 1:04:40.720 --> 1:04:43.280 It's possible, but more likely for the girl. You're saying 1:04:43.400 --> 1:04:45.440 he's younger, like, he's probably just having the time of 1:04:45.520 --> 1:04:49.320 his life. Yeah, but isn't she too, But now she's 1:04:49.360 --> 1:04:54.160 feeling funny. Yeah, so I think if she gets any 1:04:54.200 --> 1:04:56.840 impression from him, there might be a reciprocation. Great if not, 1:04:57.960 --> 1:05:00.280 you know what, either way, you got to stop this. Yeah, 1:05:00.320 --> 1:05:06.480 you can have a secret coworker relationships. Was Google like, 1:05:06.560 --> 1:05:09.240 I'm sorry, I don't think it's I don't think it's 1:05:09.280 --> 1:05:12.960 Rosy's responsibility to make him evolve it into a relationship, 1:05:12.960 --> 1:05:14.720 which it doesn't even seem like that's what she really wants. 1:05:14.760 --> 1:05:18.360 It sounds like she could just continuously have the consistent hookup, 1:05:19.280 --> 1:05:21.480 but she's getting feelings, and that's kind of what's concerning 1:05:21.520 --> 1:05:24.200 for her, it sounds like she's craving his presence, that 1:05:24.280 --> 1:05:26.000 she wants to hear him talk and see his face. Well, 1:05:26.040 --> 1:05:28.800 it sounds like she's falling. Start seeing someone else and 1:05:28.840 --> 1:05:31.320 she's gonna be like devastated. Yeah, the lasts and she says, 1:05:31.360 --> 1:05:33.920 what do you do when you don't want to like someone? Right? 1:05:34.600 --> 1:05:37.439 What do you do? I think distance. I think it's 1:05:37.600 --> 1:05:41.760 it's complete, clean break, and if he's interested, he'll pursue you. 1:05:42.080 --> 1:05:44.160 It's similar to like getting over a relationship. You just 1:05:44.240 --> 1:05:47.320 have to cut it off and be over, be done 1:05:47.360 --> 1:05:49.200 with it. I think there's definitely something to be said 1:05:49.200 --> 1:05:51.160 about the convenience of a relationship that that sounds like 1:05:51.200 --> 1:05:53.640 this has She's used to seeing him consistently but not 1:05:53.720 --> 1:05:55.840 having to emotionally invest herself, and then she sees herself 1:05:55.880 --> 1:05:58.320 having to invest emotions and that's where she is getting 1:05:58.600 --> 1:06:00.840 hesitant from. Which is funny because you normally see these 1:06:00.840 --> 1:06:03.240 types of emails or these types of reactions from the 1:06:03.400 --> 1:06:06.280 male's perspective, But it seems like this this kind of 1:06:06.320 --> 1:06:08.600 flipped here. So what if she went to him and said, look, 1:06:09.720 --> 1:06:11.840 this is great, what's been going on with us, but 1:06:11.880 --> 1:06:14.440 I gotta be honest with you. I've developed feelings for you, 1:06:14.720 --> 1:06:17.800 and I know that's not what this is. So for 1:06:17.920 --> 1:06:20.520 my own well being, we need to end this. That's 1:06:20.560 --> 1:06:22.880 okay because then he has the option of speaking up, 1:06:23.280 --> 1:06:25.880 but he's likely going to freak out and run probably, 1:06:26.040 --> 1:06:28.840 But if she's aware of that now she knows she'll 1:06:28.880 --> 1:06:30.439 know either way. That way, it reminds me of those 1:06:30.840 --> 1:06:34.280 like the Ashton Cutcher and Friends with Benefit or No 1:06:34.360 --> 1:06:36.520 Strings attacks, the exact same movie, just with different characters 1:06:36.560 --> 1:06:38.840 that came out right around the same time. That was okay, 1:06:38.880 --> 1:06:40.560 That was a very weird time in cinema. It was 1:06:40.800 --> 1:06:43.880 really weird. I remember being in San Francisco and looking 1:06:43.960 --> 1:06:46.120 at the billboard for one and being like, I thought 1:06:46.160 --> 1:06:49.160 this start justin to like, it sounds like one of 1:06:49.160 --> 1:06:53.720 those situations where obviously with different varying aspects, but they're 1:06:53.760 --> 1:06:57.400 trying to have a physical relationship and then they're struggling. 1:06:57.480 --> 1:06:59.640 They're fighting the emotions of it because they don't want 1:06:59.680 --> 1:07:01.640 to have that aspects, but they still kind of crave 1:07:01.720 --> 1:07:04.960 the belongingness that they offer each other. But those movies 1:07:05.080 --> 1:07:07.640 give us a false hope because it's gonna work out. 1:07:08.160 --> 1:07:11.280 What are the possible endings of a friends with benefits relationship. 1:07:11.520 --> 1:07:13.640 There is a chance to end up falling in love, okay, 1:07:13.680 --> 1:07:16.280 but that's more the Hollywood version of it. The other 1:07:16.360 --> 1:07:19.920 options are one of you develops feelings and one doesn't 1:07:20.200 --> 1:07:22.760 bad ending, one of you start seeing someone else. They 1:07:22.800 --> 1:07:25.880 do have feelings for bad ending. So I feel like 1:07:25.960 --> 1:07:28.560 there's no good ending. You get pregnant, and there's a 1:07:28.640 --> 1:07:35.280 lot of options here. Ni disease. Yes, I think she 1:07:35.320 --> 1:07:37.760 should end it. I agree. And then if he be 1:07:37.880 --> 1:07:40.440 honest about the reason why you're ending it, end it, Rosie, 1:07:40.480 --> 1:07:42.760 get out like you You're better than this. I do 1:07:42.840 --> 1:07:44.680 want to say really quick. I was in a friends 1:07:44.800 --> 1:07:50.120 benefits situation. I was, I was, and and she, uh, 1:07:50.360 --> 1:07:52.760 she made her feelings known that that they were stronger 1:07:52.880 --> 1:07:55.800 than just friendly and uh, and I reciprocated. And now 1:07:55.880 --> 1:07:59.320 she's my wife. You know, you're you know that's where 1:07:59.320 --> 1:08:01.120 he was going at that. I know their whole thing. 1:08:01.200 --> 1:08:05.080 Oh it's a great And then for him, the benefits 1:08:05.160 --> 1:08:07.000 might have been the girl could get a free movie tickets, 1:08:07.880 --> 1:08:09.840 he would take that, and she had a dental plan 1:08:09.920 --> 1:08:15.120 that was off. Oh my god. All right, Well, speaking 1:08:15.160 --> 1:08:17.280 of ending it, well, oh yeah, did you find out? Yeah, so, 1:08:17.760 --> 1:08:21.000 speaking of ending it, that's what already did with Becca 1:08:21.120 --> 1:08:24.800 last night. Um. So, Lauren mentioned really weirdly in the 1:08:24.840 --> 1:08:26.600 episode last night, like, oh my god, I remember the 1:08:26.640 --> 1:08:29.320 first night walking up from the limo and do you 1:08:29.400 --> 1:08:31.559 not remember meeting me in Dallas? And she gave him 1:08:31.560 --> 1:08:33.120 I think a picture of the two of them or 1:08:33.160 --> 1:08:36.759 something like that. Okay, but they never aired her full intro, 1:08:37.439 --> 1:08:39.559 so that's why everyone was like, what the heck did 1:08:39.640 --> 1:08:44.439 she say? And then Batchel ABC exact Robert Mills doan 1:08:44.520 --> 1:08:46.479 do you know that name? I know the name? I 1:08:46.560 --> 1:08:50.080 met him? I think he um tweeted that Lauren had 1:08:50.120 --> 1:08:52.479 gone to a race of Ari's in Dallas and that 1:08:52.600 --> 1:08:54.920 they had met there and obviously it was really briefly, 1:08:54.960 --> 1:08:56.800 and it sounds like maybe she was a fan, which 1:08:56.880 --> 1:08:59.720 is like kind of weird. So yeah, apparently they had 1:08:59.760 --> 1:09:07.439 met before, really briefly. And that's about it. I feel 1:09:07.439 --> 1:09:10.479 like they skimmed over a lot. They really did. They 1:09:10.479 --> 1:09:12.680 showed a lot of Ronus, but they also skimmed over 1:09:12.760 --> 1:09:15.120 quite a bit that kind of left us feeling like 1:09:15.240 --> 1:09:17.720 we needed more, you know what. This entire season, I've 1:09:17.760 --> 1:09:19.960 just felt like I really missed the romance. Is it 1:09:20.080 --> 1:09:22.639 kind of a throwaway season? Do we think in five 1:09:22.760 --> 1:09:26.280 years are when we're examining the bowels of the Bachelor franchise? 1:09:26.320 --> 1:09:27.680 I were just gonna forget about this one. You know, 1:09:27.760 --> 1:09:32.080 we're going to remember Dean Angler on Rachel what is 1:09:32.120 --> 1:09:39.040 her last name? Lindsay's season. But I think last night 1:09:39.120 --> 1:09:41.560 saved the season. I think last night makes this a 1:09:41.640 --> 1:09:45.160 memorable season, just like we remember Jason Mesnicks season because 1:09:45.200 --> 1:09:47.360 of that. I remember seeing that it was the highly 1:09:47.520 --> 1:09:49.599 most highly rated episode of the season. I'm not sure 1:09:49.680 --> 1:09:52.599 in comparison to other seasons. I also think though, it's 1:09:52.600 --> 1:09:54.040 going to be one of those things where they kind 1:09:54.080 --> 1:09:58.599 of go away unless he like marries Lauren or heck, 1:09:58.640 --> 1:10:01.160 if he marries Becca, who knows at this point. Now 1:10:01.280 --> 1:10:04.240 that raises a question. Are Lauren and Ari if they 1:10:04.320 --> 1:10:07.479 end up together tonight, going to stay together for probably 1:10:07.560 --> 1:10:12.479 not Erica. If you're Lauren, you're taken back. I just 1:10:12.720 --> 1:10:14.760 I don't think I could. If you choose someone else 1:10:14.800 --> 1:10:17.960 and choose to propose to them, It's okay to like 1:10:18.120 --> 1:10:19.920 choose to exploit your options and come back to me, 1:10:19.960 --> 1:10:24.280 because I understand I'm great proposing a little ass. Raven 1:10:24.400 --> 1:10:27.600 Raven posted a Instagram story with a poll that was, 1:10:28.040 --> 1:10:30.439 if you were Lauren's friend, would you tell her to 1:10:30.520 --> 1:10:32.519 get back together with Ari or to run for the hills? 1:10:32.840 --> 1:10:34.040 And I remember I was like sitting there and I 1:10:34.080 --> 1:10:35.720 stared at it for like five minutes, and I was like, 1:10:35.800 --> 1:10:37.720 which one do I want to vote for? As as 1:10:37.720 --> 1:10:39.479 long as I've ever taken to consider voting on a 1:10:39.560 --> 1:10:42.960 pool and I if Lauren was my friend, my best friend, 1:10:43.200 --> 1:10:44.839 and she came to me for advice on that situation, 1:10:44.960 --> 1:10:47.760 that's a tough one because if she really loves him, 1:10:49.320 --> 1:10:51.720 it's just so messy. I don't think I've ever seen 1:10:51.840 --> 1:10:54.160 I mean, I obviously you haven't seen many many seasons, 1:10:54.240 --> 1:10:57.040 but it's the messiest season I've ever seen. You weren't 1:10:57.040 --> 1:11:01.439 there for the mestic days, man, I was. I was 1:11:01.520 --> 1:11:06.040 fifteen then, by the way, I realized today. So my 1:11:06.200 --> 1:11:08.240 view of love has been shaped from Jason Mesnick. I 1:11:08.240 --> 1:11:10.640 met him last night. He's nice, that's great. Shorter than 1:11:10.640 --> 1:11:17.880 I expected. I was shocked. I'm not a celebrity. One 1:11:18.040 --> 1:11:20.519 and two. Yeah, people always say that I look shorter 1:11:20.640 --> 1:11:23.479 on television. It doesn't do you much justice. I think 1:11:23.479 --> 1:11:28.120 it's the cropped pants. Yeah. Anyway, on your celebrity Dean, Uh, 1:11:28.320 --> 1:11:30.400 somebody always makes me laugh is on your Instagram page, 1:11:30.439 --> 1:11:32.280 it has he listed as a fictional character. Oh yeah, 1:11:32.320 --> 1:11:35.080 that's something that makes me laugh routinely. And there's a 1:11:35.080 --> 1:11:37.080 backstory that sort of If you look at every other 1:11:37.120 --> 1:11:40.519 cast member, they're all public figures. And the reason that 1:11:40.560 --> 1:11:42.360 that's there is because you have to link your Instagram 1:11:42.640 --> 1:11:45.679 with the business page on Facebook, and when you fill 1:11:45.720 --> 1:11:47.439 the format on Facebook, you have to decide what the 1:11:47.520 --> 1:11:50.040 business is, and so you choose like public figure, writer, 1:11:50.479 --> 1:11:53.040 fictional character, whatever it is. And this was this was 1:11:53.240 --> 1:11:56.200 right the day before season one, episode one of Batchel 1:11:56.200 --> 1:11:58.400 there at and I was like, I'm not a public 1:11:58.439 --> 1:12:00.519 figure by any stretch of the imaginations was going through 1:12:00.600 --> 1:12:04.000 to think of like the most ironic, satirical title I 1:12:04.040 --> 1:12:06.600 could and fictional characters like, I mean, that's the most appropriate, 1:12:06.960 --> 1:12:10.360 you know. Yeah, And you're stuck with that now. I 1:12:10.400 --> 1:12:13.200 mean I can change it whenever I want, well, but 1:12:13.320 --> 1:12:15.200 I think you should keep it. I'm not ever going 1:12:15.240 --> 1:12:19.760 to change it. I'm going to be for the rest 1:12:19.760 --> 1:12:22.920 of my life. I just ordered a vanity plate like 1:12:23.000 --> 1:12:26.240 six months ago. It's pretty embarrassing, like a vanity license plate. 1:12:26.320 --> 1:12:28.760 What is it? It's pretty embarrassing. I have I want 1:12:28.840 --> 1:12:30.000 to go pick it up yesterday, but the line of 1:12:30.040 --> 1:12:31.800 the d NB was too long. What is the plate? 1:12:32.000 --> 1:12:36.120 Any It's a dany b B so d E A 1:12:36.320 --> 1:12:40.200 n y b B, which is pretty funny, right, I 1:12:40.280 --> 1:12:42.160 figured at this point I just gotta keep oning it. Yeah, 1:12:42.320 --> 1:12:44.960 that's great when you start getting business emails that referdios 1:12:44.960 --> 1:12:48.880 did Danny babies? Yes, for the listeners, Erica sometimes receives 1:12:48.920 --> 1:12:52.040 emails referring to me as Danny Baby, And it's just 1:12:52.560 --> 1:12:56.280 it's just to think about how far we've come, not 1:12:56.479 --> 1:13:02.760 far at all. Anyways, let's go ahead and thank Justin 1:13:02.880 --> 1:13:07.200 McMillan from Treehouse Recovery. UM gets good to have him on. 1:13:07.400 --> 1:13:09.120 It's good to you know, kind of hear here. His 1:13:09.200 --> 1:13:11.960 perspective and the physical how important the physical embrace of 1:13:11.960 --> 1:13:14.200 two humans can be, regardless of male female male male 1:13:14.240 --> 1:13:16.960 female female. Um, let's break those down. It's twenty teen. 1:13:16.960 --> 1:13:18.560 We don't need to worry about those anymore. If you 1:13:19.800 --> 1:13:21.960 meet someone, just hug them, just going for a big 1:13:22.000 --> 1:13:26.800 old bear hug. Okay, I'll start hugging, be sure, to 1:13:26.840 --> 1:13:29.320 follow them on all social media outlets Instagram, Facebook, at 1:13:29.400 --> 1:13:32.880 Treehouse Recovery. Um, next week, like we mentioned earlier, it's 1:13:32.920 --> 1:13:35.240 going to be and ask me anything, and ask Dean 1:13:35.360 --> 1:13:38.559 anything if you will. I don't know if we're gonna 1:13:38.600 --> 1:13:41.040 have anyone calling and to ask me any questions, but um, 1:13:41.120 --> 1:13:43.680 it could be very insightful for the people that you know. 1:13:43.760 --> 1:13:45.479 You only get such a small glimpse of us on 1:13:45.600 --> 1:13:48.800 television and through our social media all that kind of stuff. UM, 1:13:49.680 --> 1:13:51.479 and I definitely want to answer any questions that you 1:13:51.520 --> 1:13:53.840 guys have. It's like I was talking to Erica earlier 1:13:53.840 --> 1:13:56.639 about it's so refreshing to be able to just openly 1:13:56.680 --> 1:14:00.280 speak about a very healthy relationship. I feel good about it. Also, 1:14:00.360 --> 1:14:02.439 I'm the luckiest Bachelor fan ever because I get to 1:14:02.520 --> 1:14:05.200 sit here and be like, so, what's your relationship like now? 1:14:05.280 --> 1:14:08.040 So now it's their turn. Yes, And in three months 1:14:08.080 --> 1:14:10.800 you're gonna completely have forgotten about us, which is fine. 1:14:11.880 --> 1:14:16.280 I will never forget about you guys. UM, keep the 1:14:16.320 --> 1:14:19.479 emails coming. I suck at dating at iHeartMedia dot com. 1:14:19.560 --> 1:14:21.679 If you want to email us any questions about next week, 1:14:22.120 --> 1:14:23.519 that might be best because that way we can filter 1:14:23.640 --> 1:14:24.640 some of the ones out that we don't like and 1:14:24.680 --> 1:14:26.599 the ones I just really don't want to ask me anything. 1:14:26.760 --> 1:14:30.200 I'm kidding. I'm kidding again, that's I suck at dating 1:14:30.200 --> 1:14:32.680 at iHeartMedia dot com. And I was actually thinking about this, 1:14:32.800 --> 1:14:34.200 and I know that Mark and Eastan and I have 1:14:34.240 --> 1:14:36.080 discussed changing the name quite a bit and what we 1:14:36.120 --> 1:14:38.320 could change it too. But I was like driving over 1:14:38.400 --> 1:14:39.599 here and I was like, now that, like, I feel, 1:14:39.640 --> 1:14:41.559 I'm very confident in my relationship. I kind of almost 1:14:41.760 --> 1:14:45.160 don't care about the title as much anymore. Is that 1:14:45.320 --> 1:14:48.560 the sweetest change of heart? But but what does that 1:14:48.640 --> 1:14:50.880 mean about all the progress that we made in thinking 1:14:50.880 --> 1:14:53.080 about new idea? To keep that under your hat, not 1:14:53.160 --> 1:14:55.840 tell anybody you're fine with the already it's already have. 1:14:57.360 --> 1:14:58.479 And I think I really need to sit down with 1:14:58.520 --> 1:15:00.200 Leslie and have a conversation with her. I know, talked 1:15:00.200 --> 1:15:01.920 to her about it before. I was like, Hey, do 1:15:02.040 --> 1:15:04.320 you think that this podcast is a detriment to our 1:15:04.360 --> 1:15:07.000 relationship at all? She's like, well, no, I mean it's not. 1:15:07.360 --> 1:15:09.080 I mean it really depends obviously what you go over 1:15:09.120 --> 1:15:11.400 and all that kind of stuff, but like, if you 1:15:11.720 --> 1:15:14.600 feel good, so I don't know. I think you know 1:15:14.640 --> 1:15:16.680 what it is. Now. Help I Suck at Dating is 1:15:16.720 --> 1:15:19.920 like the call for people to write in like they're saying, Dean, 1:15:20.080 --> 1:15:22.519 help I suck at dating? Can you help me? They're 1:15:22.600 --> 1:15:27.920 the ones saying saying it's not you. I mean, I 1:15:28.040 --> 1:15:29.640 kind of hate that. I'm starting to be okay with 1:15:29.720 --> 1:15:34.120 this anyways, until next week. Thank you for listening. This 1:15:34.280 --> 1:15:38.840 is dn BB driving Away. Follow Help I Suck At 1:15:38.920 --> 1:15:42.200 Dating with Dean Anglert on I Heart Radio or subscribe 1:15:42.200 --> 1:15:43.840 wherever you listen to podcasts