Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, welcome to hold up. This is the show
Speaker 1: where we have big ideas and conversations about little things.
Speaker 1: You know, we get really intense, but it's about stuff
Speaker 1: that doesn't really matter. We're not talking about war, We're
Speaker 1: not talking about famine. We're talking about things that you know,
Speaker 1: irk us and we usually land on opposite sides of
Speaker 1: each other. Today we're gonna be talking about irons versus Steamers.
Speaker 1: I'm joined by my co host Dual. Say sloan and
Speaker 1: go ahead and tell the people, don't say tell the
Speaker 1: people where you land and why and how you came
Speaker 1: to You know, you always asked me first. I think
Speaker 1: you should tell the people where are you land? Because
Speaker 1: I feel like you wait to hear all my arguments
Speaker 1: on my on my side, I feel deep in my heart,
Speaker 1: and then you're like, let me tell you all the
Speaker 1: ways that you are wrong. And first of all, all
Speaker 1: like that energy. Second of all, I think it allows
Speaker 1: you to start calculating and contemplating all of the counterpoints
Speaker 1: and arguments to my beautifully made and well executed thoughts,
Speaker 1: feelings and facts. So you go first ship. All right? Okay,
Speaker 1: you know I thought I was being a gentleman this
Speaker 1: whole time. But no, no, no, no, I get it.
Speaker 1: I hear you, I hear you. It was gentleman. But
Speaker 1: it's also scrategy. It's strategicy. So I'm gonna go ahead
Speaker 1: and go with Irons as you would. As you would, Wow,
Speaker 1: what does that even mean? Okay, So I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: with Irons because to me, Irons are classic and we
Speaker 1: got it right the first time. You know, Irons, first
Speaker 1: of all, they know what they're doing with the settings. Okay,
Speaker 1: Irons got those settings on them. They got nine line,
Speaker 1: they got silk, they got cotton, they got polyester. All right.
Speaker 1: You can adjust the knob, you can choose to spray,
Speaker 1: or you can choose to really push the steam through.
Speaker 1: And that's one of the reasons why I don't really
Speaker 1: think that the steamers coming correct, because Irons already steam.
Speaker 1: They have a setting. So what you basically did was
Speaker 1: you were, you know, you were at a quiz Nos
Speaker 1: thinking that, Wow, this is a great fast food sandwich. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: Subway was like, we've been toasting, so that your whole
Speaker 1: business model was wrapped up in a thing that we
Speaker 1: do on the side. And honestly, that's That's how I
Speaker 1: feel about irons. Irons were already steaming, pressing, doing all
Speaker 1: of the stuff they needed to do to get you
Speaker 1: wrinkle free. But then Steamers come out of nowhere, being
Speaker 1: like we're the cool, hip, young new thing that doesn't
Speaker 1: even really do as much as our predecessor. Okay, one
Speaker 1: shout out to quiz nos uh way better than the subway.
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened to him. I don't know
Speaker 1: who didn't send the email. I don't know what had
Speaker 1: to occur for that business to go the way that
Speaker 1: it did, because it was actually pretty good. Um, I
Speaker 1: of course went Steamers because I uh, I am a professional.
Speaker 1: And okay, we have to talk about how dangerous and
Speaker 1: iron is. Right, people have loved irons on burned down homes,
Speaker 1: burned people. Listen, you saw the episode of Good Times
Speaker 1: for Penny's mother came after her with that hot iron. Okay,
Speaker 1: we all have been just his his his his. We've
Speaker 1: all have burns marks on us from using irons. I
Speaker 1: remember it's in my neighborhood. Listen, I'll tell you what
Speaker 1: he said, hot iron in his house. He's a kid,
Speaker 1: He's walking through bumps into the ironing board. There's a
Speaker 1: scar on his arm where it is a triangle of
Speaker 1: the top of the ironing of the iron. It's the
Speaker 1: triangle and then like three of the holes. Right. M h,
Speaker 1: he's on the young man's arm. He said, he bumped
Speaker 1: into the iron. That's none of my business. It long past, okay.
Speaker 1: I don't think CPS was coming all right, Um, we've
Speaker 1: all melted a piece of clothing. I was trying to
Speaker 1: because there are multiple settings, right, but I've had polyester.
Speaker 1: It were my favorite pair of pants, right, trying to
Speaker 1: get to work. They were wrinkled. I work with a
Speaker 1: bunch of black people, so you know you can't come
Speaker 1: to work with wrinkle clothes. You work with black people. Right,
Speaker 1: clothes can't be wrinkled. You can't be ashy. There's so
Speaker 1: many things we're late to work to make sure we
Speaker 1: look good enough for each other, no matter where we work.
Speaker 1: He could be in office and McDonald's, doesn't matter. We
Speaker 1: require each other to reach a certain level of standard. Right,
Speaker 1: polyester pants, polyestra setic melted the fuck out of these pants.
Speaker 1: Favorite pair of pants. Had a little fake built us
Speaker 1: out to him. It's two thousand three. I'm living my
Speaker 1: best life, right, I got my fun little stretch of pants.
Speaker 1: They're good for work, They're good for going to the clube.
Speaker 1: You go up, going out for my frenzy. Were on
Speaker 1: a date and then I go to iron. Um, I said,
Speaker 1: I'm on the setting. I read it polyester and says
Speaker 1: you can and all of a sudden, all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: like a plastic bag close to a stove crumbled. Prombo,
Speaker 1: you understand you have been cooking, had like your grocery
Speaker 1: bag still close to the crop gone. I thought those
Speaker 1: pants where I cried, Oh, I love them pants. I
Speaker 1: look good in their pants too. Everything was hitting, popping, popping, popping,
Speaker 1: The thing was stagging, the cakes was tking, and no,
Speaker 1: the iron took me out. Been burned by iron. Also,
Speaker 1: that steam setting on an iron, what it does is
Speaker 1: it shoots water all over your clothes. And then you
Speaker 1: have to have the knowledge and the know how in
Speaker 1: the foresight to be able to get that water mark
Speaker 1: off the clothes because sometimes the water, the big drop
Speaker 1: of the water you iron over it, it actually creates
Speaker 1: a water marker and clothes. So now you're trying to
Speaker 1: look go nice at your business meeting, and now you're
Speaker 1: just full of splotches. So steamers for me one, I said,
Speaker 1: because if I'm a professional, right, they don't have irons
Speaker 1: on set. There's no irons and costume shops. You know,
Speaker 1: there's like an iron. Like I'm saying is sometimes there's
Speaker 1: an iron costume shop, right, but there's always a steamer
Speaker 1: on set, and make portable steamers. Okay, deliver Listen. There's
Speaker 1: no hot plate, but it's off. It's off. It's knocking
Speaker 1: them wrinkles out. You can do it on various fabrics. Okay.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is that because you can, like say,
Speaker 1: you want to some people iron curtains. Only iron curtain
Speaker 1: I know is a Soviet Union. I don't. That seems
Speaker 1: like a lot of works to me. But you can
Speaker 1: use them. It's a lot quicker than ironing. Also, you
Speaker 1: can iron increases into clothes. The setting is sometimes it's
Speaker 1: too high, too low. There's a lot of trial and
Speaker 1: error on an outfit with the iron. And usually when
Speaker 1: you're using an iron, you're probably in a hurry. You're
Speaker 1: gonna suck something up a steamer, pour some water in
Speaker 1: that bitch, and let the steam do the walking. You
Speaker 1: let the steam come through the wrinkles. Let the steam
Speaker 1: knock it out. You just lift it up. Shoot, shoot, shoot,
Speaker 1: Because I've work in the costume shop before. You've seen
Speaker 1: the constumes shop before, every wardrobe of every TV show,
Speaker 1: movie or whatever. They ain't got no iron baby when
Speaker 1: they're out here for these stash for weeks. It's not
Speaker 1: an iron baby, it's a steamer. And iron is archaic technology.
Speaker 1: You understand, iron is from the past. Once we got
Speaker 1: the settings, you put some stink. That's it. There's no
Speaker 1: new there's no new irons, there's no new shapes. Ain't
Speaker 1: nobody doing nothing new irons. Okay, okay. Look, first of all,
Speaker 1: the iron is the workman's tool for getting those clothes
Speaker 1: nice and crisp. Okay, all right, I already see it, already,
Speaker 1: see the doubt, already see the workman's tool. I mean
Speaker 1: you're not a workman, so I don't know how you
Speaker 1: go wasesday tool you. I mean you're currently in detention.
Speaker 1: I don't know what working you're talking about. Look, first
Speaker 1: of all, but don't don't don't covet me for things
Speaker 1: that are not irons. All right, you know you in
Speaker 1: the basement of our school right now, don't don't cope
Speaker 1: me for things that have nothing to do with with
Speaker 1: the topic. I hear you, I hear you. Want to know
Speaker 1: know if you're safe. You are. You're like a kidnaps Josh,
Speaker 1: Bleep twice, bleak twice. If you save Josh? Do you
Speaker 1: have a window? Fresh air? You see outside? What do
Speaker 1: you see? He? Go ahead, work with this tool, right,
Speaker 1: you're working off m hmmm. You're going to office them
Speaker 1: from home, all right? Work with irons. Okay, they may
Speaker 1: not be in every costume house, but they're in every hotel,
Speaker 1: all right. The people use irons. Okay, the steamer it
Speaker 1: is a tool of the Thespian and of Hollywood, but
Speaker 1: the iron is a tool of the people. Okay, So
Speaker 1: you don't think they sell steamers to people. They sell them.
Speaker 1: But we were bringing up where they're in everything of
Speaker 1: and I'm telling you, yes, they're in every costume house,
Speaker 1: but they're But irons are in every hotel and they
Speaker 1: have been for a long time now. When it comes
Speaker 1: to steamers doing things wrong, there are steamers that only
Speaker 1: take specific things. So there's steamers that only take distill water,
Speaker 1: all right, when you don't put that in there, and
Speaker 1: you just put water from the tap because you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I just gotta steam something real quick, whatever, There is
Speaker 1: a residue you can get because it's getting caked up
Speaker 1: within the steamer. Any anyone with a steamer who's had
Speaker 1: this issue, this is what it is. By the way,
Speaker 1: if you have a steamer and you've ever had this problem,
Speaker 1: it's because your steamer in fine print probably if they
Speaker 1: told you in in regular letters, you wouldn't have bought it.
Speaker 1: Your steamer in fine print only takes distilled water, all right,
Speaker 1: And when you don't put that on there, that's why
Speaker 1: sometimes it's a it's not consistent with the push of
Speaker 1: the steam and all the holes and why sometimes there's
Speaker 1: like a little white dot residue sort of thing on
Speaker 1: the overall steamer when you get down that on an
Speaker 1: iron as well, you can get it on iron, but
Speaker 1: irons were made for dirty water. You can even iron
Speaker 1: with water from flint. You can make an iron with mud.
Speaker 1: You can even iron. You can learning with that lead water.
Speaker 1: If you wanted to listen, all I'm saying is that
Speaker 1: I think we went over to the steamer one because
Speaker 1: it's faster. You hang up your shirt, okay, pair of
Speaker 1: pants your gown. All right, you run that now, mind you.
Speaker 1: I have had to use an iron as a steamer.
Speaker 1: Had to do it on Monday because he went to
Speaker 1: the Emmys. Uh, and you were there as well, and
Speaker 1: we hung out. And so my friend Lace Larry look
Speaker 1: her up. She is an amazing comic. Um, she's just
Speaker 1: on America's got talent. She's getting ready. Her address needs
Speaker 1: to get ironed, right, So what did I So? I'm
Speaker 1: laying it on the bed. I laid on the bed,
Speaker 1: going over it, and there's too many there's too many pounds. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's too many panels. I'm losing track of where I am. Also,
Speaker 1: if you iron something on a bed, because there was
Speaker 1: an iron, but I don't remember seeing an ironing board. Okay,
Speaker 1: So when you iron something on the bed, if you've
Speaker 1: got one of those comforters with the divisions in it,
Speaker 1: then it will create like lines and whatever you're ironing.
Speaker 1: So it's taken forever. What did I do? I went
Speaker 1: and put some water in the iron, hung it up.
Speaker 1: It was done in three minutes. Choo choo choo choo
Speaker 1: choo choo choo choo choochoo choo choo. Gown ready down
Speaker 1: the house down, Ready for these Emmys. Okay, ready for
Speaker 1: these parties. All the wrinkles they're gone. Okay, they fly
Speaker 1: away by because when I lifted it up and let
Speaker 1: the steam hit it, when I let the power of
Speaker 1: hot water instead of a hot plate get at them wrinkles. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I I understand, and I did see the dress
Speaker 1: and it did look great. But um, from what I'm hearing,
Speaker 1: we're saying the same thing. We're both saying that irons
Speaker 1: already do with steamers claimed to do. They've been doing it,
Speaker 1: and steamers came out of nowhere being like I'm special,
Speaker 1: I'm different, but they weren't. I have you have to
Speaker 1: buy an iron with a steamer function, like I have
Speaker 1: a small iron for like crafty mm hmm. There's no
Speaker 1: steam function on that iron. I have that big steam
Speaker 1: like that that being big steam button my little iron.
Speaker 1: You can put water in it mm hmm, but it
Speaker 1: doesn't hit it with the same right. So I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that there were there wasn't a steam function in
Speaker 1: the iron. I'm saying that they put steam functions in
Speaker 1: an iron because we had steamers, and people are like, hey,
Speaker 1: let's add this into the iron because sometimes the iron
Speaker 1: ain't giving us what we need, so they added the
Speaker 1: steam first of all. I don't think that that is
Speaker 1: correct at all. I don't know the timeline on that.
Speaker 1: Look it up. I mean, I guess I can look
Speaker 1: it up, but I just feel like the iron was
Speaker 1: added with steam and then someone made a steamer. There's
Speaker 1: a whole internet. Yeah, I mean, we can look it
Speaker 1: up right now. This has to happen, because what is it?
Speaker 1: What came first the iron of the steamer? Is that
Speaker 1: the question? No, no, no, just what came first the
Speaker 1: steamer or the steam function on an iron? Because irons
Speaker 1: are way older than steamers. Truly, they used to have irons,
Speaker 1: you put them in fires. I remember seeing those old
Speaker 1: school irons were like you gotta wrap a rag around it,
Speaker 1: because I don't remember seeing them going, why did you
Speaker 1: make the whole thing metal? Yeah? Yeah, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. Why don't you make the handle metal? Why
Speaker 1: is the handle metal like this? Lets you know that
Speaker 1: they knew that women were going to use this because
Speaker 1: somebody didn't give a fuck all right, because it was
Speaker 1: like I can see that they put wooden handles on,
Speaker 1: like it's like pots it's like every time I see
Speaker 1: like a lot of designs for stuff, I'm like, we've
Speaker 1: been putting wooding handles on things for a long time,
Speaker 1: but like kettles, pots and stuff like that. I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: it just feels like sometimes it's just like men are mean.
Speaker 1: While you're looking it up, I'll make the case because
Speaker 1: you brought it up as a detriment, I would actually
Speaker 1: say it's potentially a plus. All right. You brought up
Speaker 1: the dangerous side of irons, all right, as if it
Speaker 1: was a negative. I'm saying, let's lean into the danger
Speaker 1: for a second, all right, it's not it's not a con.
Speaker 1: It's a pro. There's a lot of Americans that don't
Speaker 1: want to have a gun in their house, all right,
Speaker 1: But if you got an intruder, what you're hitting them
Speaker 1: with a steamer or an iron? All right? Are you
Speaker 1: if you if you had a robber come in your
Speaker 1: house and you don't you don't have anything weaponized to
Speaker 1: defend yourself. But you've got an iron. Now you've got
Speaker 1: a chance. If it's hot. No, no, it doesn't have
Speaker 1: to be hot. That's just that's just a bunch of
Speaker 1: metal waiting to hit somebody in the head depending on
Speaker 1: the side. There's some of these irons. I'm just like
Speaker 1: this iron is too big, not too big to fight.
Speaker 1: Now my iron is only no one's. It all depends
Speaker 1: on the size of your iron. Steamer steamers are too
Speaker 1: ergonomically built, all right, They're not gonna do the same
Speaker 1: damage as a big, clunky iron, right and waiting to
Speaker 1: just crack somebody across the face. The first commercially available
Speaker 1: electric steam iron was introduced and you are Drying Drying
Speaker 1: and Cleaning Company, not Dry Cleaning, Drying and Cleaning mm
Speaker 1: hmm eldic, but was not a commercial success. The patent
Speaker 1: for an electric steam iron and dampener with issue just
Speaker 1: in Chicago nineteen thirty four. You know, we should really
Speaker 1: start researching this ship before we actually get on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not it's not really about being factual.
Speaker 1: It's about being right, that's true. Can you put in
Speaker 1: a craze with a steamer? Well, this is the thing
Speaker 1: about a steamer as well. Uh, some steamers come with
Speaker 1: that little handheld casing. Have you seen this? So basically,
Speaker 1: when you open the steamer, the package of the steamer
Speaker 1: comes in like the little bag flattens out and that
Speaker 1: bag is very very thick, so that way you can
Speaker 1: run the steamer along the clothes but also press your
Speaker 1: hand against the steamer through the bag without burning yourself.
Speaker 1: Have you seen this? Well? I didn't just see again
Speaker 1: because I was like, can a steamer make a crease?
Speaker 1: It says if you wear pleated pants, you can use
Speaker 1: the steamer instead of crease. Just lay the garment down
Speaker 1: on the flat service and moved and moved the plate
Speaker 1: down the edge of the crease as you were with
Speaker 1: an iron. And then Men's health dot com why every
Speaker 1: man should own a closed steam up or ramn all
Speaker 1: the men's is you're really gonna sit here and listen
Speaker 1: to men's health. Men's health seems to be the most
Speaker 1: concerned about you, nigga. Look, men's health they have their
Speaker 1: good days, they have their bad days. I've had some
Speaker 1: good days, I hear you. Because women's health it's the
Speaker 1: same thing. Sometimes it's like, you know what, thank you
Speaker 1: for teaching me about penopause. And then next day it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: all the flat tummy tease, bitch, all of this is
Speaker 1: just the laxative. How dare you? Yeah? I see what
Speaker 1: you're saying, but I know that men don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about flat tummy tees. For some reason, my stomach
Speaker 1: is supposed to be flat. But these things out here
Speaker 1: looking like old stoves, and I'm supposed to be impressed
Speaker 1: by They call him pop belly stoves for a reason.
Speaker 1: What came first, the pot belly or the stove? Okay,
Speaker 1: So do you think then that the what I'm talking
Speaker 1: about with the casing with the steamer, with the handheld
Speaker 1: thing where you can really hold it and press it.
Speaker 1: I have no idea. Was Okay, that's just to me,
Speaker 1: that's just knock off iron, and I've seen it with
Speaker 1: a couple of models. But that's fine, that's fine. I
Speaker 1: understand that you love your steamer. Understands done you right,
Speaker 1: It's just done me dirty in the past. Okay, as
Speaker 1: an iron has done me dirty in the past, I
Speaker 1: can't say as someone who has had iron. Now I
Speaker 1: had to, says someone who has ironed lots of clothes,
Speaker 1: I choose not to do it. Mm hmm. Also a
Speaker 1: lot of my clothes very flammable, very multiple. I'm not
Speaker 1: dealing with a lot of natural fabrics all the time.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So I don't always iron because I can't.
Speaker 1: But a lot of those clothes that are very flammable,
Speaker 1: you don't need iron him anyway, Like all these leggings
Speaker 1: I got, you need the iron, m leggings. Don't you
Speaker 1: put a leg in it and a wrinkles because it's
Speaker 1: on his body? Right, Yes, the body is the iron.
Speaker 1: I got you right, The body is the iron. Okay, body,
Speaker 1: body iron. That's all I'm saying. Okay, now, how do
Speaker 1: you say iron? Um? I hear that's the only way
Speaker 1: you say. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know a kid that
Speaker 1: he was very confused. He would always first of all,
Speaker 1: he talked very fast, and he would always call an
Speaker 1: iron and earn. And so there was one time where
Speaker 1: he was talking about how his mom was mad because
Speaker 1: he broke the urn, and we were like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's an urn. You've got somebody's ashes all over
Speaker 1: your like like yeah, because we didn't understand him for
Speaker 1: the longest time. It took us like a good eight
Speaker 1: to ten minutes of him trying to explain because he
Speaker 1: also can't say it in any other way. So he's like, no,
Speaker 1: it's not earned, it's nearn Like that's the same word
Speaker 1: that you're saying. My mom was, Uh, my mom had
Speaker 1: a friend when we lived in Miami and they were
Speaker 1: country and she went over there one time. She went
Speaker 1: to their house without me and my brother and their
Speaker 1: youngest son. He said, he my mom, money goes where
Speaker 1: you're churn at. My MoMA said, excuse me, like your
Speaker 1: churn and my mother said, I'm so sorry, and he said, yo,
Speaker 1: chick ran and where my children? He said, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: charing and mom said, they're they're not with me. There's definitely,
Speaker 1: especially in your mom's mind. I'm sure that after the
Speaker 1: first one, like where you're churing it's like I get
Speaker 1: my butter at the store. Do you have like like
Speaker 1: if somebody just cause it you completely you don't know
Speaker 1: what they're saying and try to make sets of it.
Speaker 1: One of one of my favorite instances of this happening
Speaker 1: was on uh, to Catch a Predator, all right, on
Speaker 1: to catch a Predator. This dude shows up. Chris Hansen
Speaker 1: got him, you know, got him like like and then
Speaker 1: this dude is like a little wanna be you know
Speaker 1: eminem right, so he's already got the cap, he's got
Speaker 1: like all the stuff, and you know, Chris Hanson starts
Speaker 1: asking him questions like, you know, like why were you
Speaker 1: talking to a young teenager on the on the internet?
Speaker 1: All the stuff like that, all the Chris Hanson stuff
Speaker 1: that Chris Hansen does. And this guy goes, uh, he
Speaker 1: pulls his hat down and he's like, I don't really
Speaker 1: be on I don't even really want to be on
Speaker 1: TV right now. You feel me? And like so so
Speaker 1: he does that, which is already like oh man said
Speaker 1: this guy to jailed out for multiple things like and
Speaker 1: so so then as he said, I don't really want
Speaker 1: to be on two right now? You feel me? Chris
Speaker 1: hands a completely but understanding but without missing a beet goos, yes,
Speaker 1: we are filming. No, that's not you feel me. No,
Speaker 1: you know that's not That's not what happened. You feel me,
Speaker 1: not what I'm saying. All of those things. There was
Speaker 1: always like jokes like the nineties and two thousands and
Speaker 1: somebody was like, yea, you feel me? Like no, dude, not,
Speaker 1: I think that's how something will doing. But like you
Speaker 1: feel me? And this guy was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to touch you, and I've laughed are so I don't
Speaker 1: want to touch you? I saw this, Uh this thread. Um,
Speaker 1: I think there's a embracing black culture. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it's funny. Because my friend Lince was like she said,
Speaker 1: she said, I've learned so much on embracing black culture,
Speaker 1: and I was like cool. She said, think that was crazy.
Speaker 1: Was like bleach when washing dishes, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't do it because I don't like the smell
Speaker 1: of bleach and it makes your hands weird. I also
Speaker 1: don't do it because I washed my dishes soon enough
Speaker 1: that bleach never comes into the conversation. But some people
Speaker 1: just do it all the time. I when I found
Speaker 1: out there were people that do it all the time,
Speaker 1: I was genuinely blown away. I was like it just
Speaker 1: like the the food just happened. I hear you. But
Speaker 1: some people are like clean is clean. But it's like
Speaker 1: I don't want to bleach on my dishes because my
Speaker 1: dishes want to bleach and I hate the small to bleach. Um.
Speaker 1: But it was this whole threat of just like the
Speaker 1: things that black people will say that are like hype
Speaker 1: people up and people misunderstanding it. Just girls like like
Speaker 1: I wasn't working when my ConA workers came in and
Speaker 1: like a new outfit and it looked nice and she's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm scared of you. And he was like, but why
Speaker 1: I didn't do anything? So just so it's like why
Speaker 1: why are you scared? What did what did I do?
Speaker 1: Or are you still talking about it? Or you know
Speaker 1: somebody else it brought something for like a potlug, like
Speaker 1: oh you put your footness, It's like why would I
Speaker 1: put my foot? And that's disgusting and it's like you
Speaker 1: there's there has to be a point where you realize
Speaker 1: that's not what we're saying. Like my favorite is when
Speaker 1: white comics go to black rooms and have a good
Speaker 1: set and somebody be like, man, you're stupid, and they're
Speaker 1: less like, well, I think my comedy like no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no, just giving you a compliment, just say
Speaker 1: thank you, man, you're stupid. I thought that was pretty
Speaker 1: insightful up there, and well craft of jokes. And whenever
Speaker 1: black people in a group, we're all laughing. Like you've
Speaker 1: seen Derek run down the street. Uh Derek Gaines, great comedian,
Speaker 1: the Great Boy on Instagram When the mic commics came over,
Speaker 1: He's like, I just want to tell a joke and
Speaker 1: all you guys run away and then come back. He said,
Speaker 1: that's all I want. I just want to be able
Speaker 1: to come over to the group and say something, and
Speaker 1: I only run away. I have always wondered what it
Speaker 1: is because I saw something that like it's because of slavery,
Speaker 1: and I was like, come on, dog, really everything can't
Speaker 1: because of slavery, is it? I don't I mean, I
Speaker 1: can't say. I don't know, but it's like because it
Speaker 1: was like we weren't allowed to laugh, because we're allowed
Speaker 1: to have fun even though we're just like already working
Speaker 1: for free Bro, already murdering us, you already stole us.
Speaker 1: You can at least let us fucking laugh, right, because
Speaker 1: I don't remember the day that I learned that when
Speaker 1: somebody said something to run away, because it's a deep
Speaker 1: feeling where you just like I have to flee, don't
Speaker 1: don't want to be I don't want to be near
Speaker 1: the person that said that right now. Right even though
Speaker 1: it's funny as ship you're like, I gotta get away
Speaker 1: from here, it's very much deep in your body. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because at some point me like if we don't run,
Speaker 1: me and Derek goes just start jumping up and down
Speaker 1: but I'm trying to figure out, Like for me, it's
Speaker 1: a good melt. If I say something that makes somebody
Speaker 1: slide out the seat, I know I've made my mark.
Speaker 1: You know, I know I've contributed to the conversation. It's
Speaker 1: either there's the run the melt, or someone grabs the
Speaker 1: nearest person and they laugh, making no noise. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: they just bro their whole like if you weren't paying attention,
Speaker 1: because it's like they're grabbing each other and their mouths
Speaker 1: are open. So either they're screaming it like they're either
Speaker 1: in a horror movie, or they're laughing. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: when Joe Rogan sees a knockout and he just grabs
Speaker 1: everybody that's nearer, but just starres. That's what said, because
Speaker 1: it's like when you see somebody do something, you must
Speaker 1: just grab the nearest person, just like you're grabbing them
Speaker 1: so that they're safe from what it was just said.
Speaker 1: You know, it's a lot like the mom arm with concident,
Speaker 1: you know where let me stick it out there. I
Speaker 1: did that with my friend Jessica Michelle. There's a comic
Speaker 1: may Ron. The first time I ever heard Mayron say,
Speaker 1: I've sucked more dicks and you've had hot dinners. Me
Speaker 1: and Jessica just it was immediate. We grabbed each other,
Speaker 1: girded our loins and they were just it was just
Speaker 1: we were just frozen. I couldn't I could not function.
Speaker 1: I was just that. But like you want somebody to
Speaker 1: like make you laugh like that, like I want to.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've ever done I don't know
Speaker 1: if I've ever done made people laugh like that while
Speaker 1: I was on stage. I've done in conversation. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: because honestly, oh yeah, also shout out may Ron. It
Speaker 1: was very funny. And I still remember the first time
Speaker 1: I met may Ron and I was just I think
Speaker 1: I was at New York or something, just eating a
Speaker 1: salad and we were meeting. We're like saying our hellos
Speaker 1: and everything, and he's like are you are you out
Speaker 1: late eating a salad and I was like yeah, and
Speaker 1: he was like, come through black excellence, Come through black excellence. Yes, Mama.
Speaker 1: I loved Mayron. I remember better a diner late in
Speaker 1: the city and I know it was like fucking four
Speaker 1: in the morning and I saw some young white woman
Speaker 1: eating a salad and I was like, it's just a
Speaker 1: salad time. He's white women can't get no brakes broad
Speaker 1: salad time. He eating the whole fucking burger, fries, all
Speaker 1: the trimmings, and you over there were just a ball
Speaker 1: of lettuce and I think she put like oil and
Speaker 1: vinegar on it. I was like, you're already thin. What
Speaker 1: you trying to prove? M hmm. Eat the fries. It's okay,
Speaker 1: you're gonna run them off in the morning. It's all right,
Speaker 1: But you don't because I was washing her eat the salad.
Speaker 1: She didn't look excited about it, didn't eating that burger.
Speaker 1: He was having a great time. I can't believe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't know if he was humming,
Speaker 1: but I could feel the hump her. On the other hand,
Speaker 1: every poke with a fork was like, I know acting
Speaker 1: when I see it. Right. Do you remember in the
Speaker 1: nineties where they kept trying to tell us you can
Speaker 1: use iron and make a girl cheese sandwich? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: did you ever do that? No, my mother would have
Speaker 1: beat the brakes off me. Oh it's funny. I know
Speaker 1: a kid that did it, and he got the break
Speaker 1: speeding off them. See, because no one tells you because
Speaker 1: the thing is you can't get butter off that iron. Yeah. Yeah. Also,
Speaker 1: when you really think about it, you need two irons.
Speaker 1: M hmm, yeah, I suppose so. I mean I feel
Speaker 1: like you need to really effective and then you need
Speaker 1: a pan that's flat enough for the iron to move around.
Speaker 1: But but if you have a pain, just make the
Speaker 1: grilled cheese in the pan. That's what I'm saying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that if you if you've gone all the
Speaker 1: way to like I got my flat pan and I
Speaker 1: got my iron, it's like, well that's the point of cooking, right, yo,
Speaker 1: you're I know they have to. I wonder if there's
Speaker 1: an iron cookbook, because you know there's a toaster cook book,
Speaker 1: there's a toaster oven't cookbook. You know, it's probably for
Speaker 1: bachelor's too. I always even confused, as we like the
Speaker 1: whole trope or like where men are on their own
Speaker 1: they're completely incompetent. Mm hmm. I'm We're not a hundred
Speaker 1: percent wrong, because they're the ones that are telling us that,
Speaker 1: like on sitcoms, like men by themselves are completely incompetent,
Speaker 1: but it's mostly men and writers rooms. But like, I
Speaker 1: didn't see an iron cookbook. I saw a cast iron cookbook,
Speaker 1: and that's not the same thing. You probably can't. You
Speaker 1: know what, I bet you could make broccoli like you
Speaker 1: could steam vegetables with a steamer if you had the
Speaker 1: right You are steaming vegetables with a steamer. Telling you
Speaker 1: right now you are broke. Have you not seen people
Speaker 1: like like, oh, you can use a coffee maker too
Speaker 1: cook vegetables. And I'm just like, that's like, that's the
Speaker 1: type of innovation we don't need. It's innovating backwards. It's
Speaker 1: like I specifically told Logan about a time where, um,
Speaker 1: I can't remember who was even saying it, but anyway,
Speaker 1: where they were like, um, oh, you know, if dish
Speaker 1: soap is also handsol, then why can it just be
Speaker 1: body washed? You know? And I mean if it's body washed,
Speaker 1: then it's basically like conditioner at shampoo and what It's like.
Speaker 1: It grew so much that I was like, oh man,
Speaker 1: this is like the the most insane logic I've ever
Speaker 1: dot your tomato catch up. That's your tomatoes suit catch
Speaker 1: up logic. Look that's different. Okay, okay, because that was
Speaker 1: that was me mm hmm, and this is yes, yes,
Speaker 1: now listen, you can't say that the first bubble bath
Speaker 1: you had was not Ajax dish washing? Maybe am I
Speaker 1: have been? Dial is worse? Dial? Dial is like that
Speaker 1: will strip your DNA. Yeah, when you get done with Dial,
Speaker 1: not only are you clean, you are missing all right, Dial,
Speaker 1: just no fingerprints. But so when I was talking about,
Speaker 1: like just to go back, when we're talking about like
Speaker 1: the body wash hands so dial, like I was thinking
Speaker 1: about it because you said soap with self cleaning, and
Speaker 1: I was like, and I tell my mom about it,
Speaker 1: and she's like, he's never been in a mechanic shop.
Speaker 1: And I used to date a mechanic a lot of time.
Speaker 1: We always had used cars and the soap and a
Speaker 1: mechanic shop is the dirtiest piece of soap. It's always bit,
Speaker 1: it's big and dirty. Right. So, what we've realized is
Speaker 1: that even though we have our clear positions on Iron's
Speaker 1: versus steamers, neither one of us has convinced the other
Speaker 1: one to come see anywhere to their side. Never take
Speaker 1: me alive. But listen, I'm not here for your child
Speaker 1: abuse appliances. It's what I'm not. That's what I'm gonna
Speaker 1: That's what I'm gonna say. No one with a steamer
Speaker 1: absolutely can't. But I haven't seen it yet. So what
Speaker 1: I haven't seen is year after year, you know of
Speaker 1: movies and somebody getting busted in the head with an
Speaker 1: iron or somebody having a hot iron on their face,
Speaker 1: like fucking home alone. Right, Irons have been used to
Speaker 1: cause so much damage, while steamers, on the other hand,
Speaker 1: are not gonna wrinkles out of clothes and making it
Speaker 1: amproccoli delicious. Look, let's let's be honest though, if you're
Speaker 1: in that situation, if you're in dire straits, Kevin McAllister,
Speaker 1: it can coming through with a steamer, all right, he
Speaker 1: needs that iron. You could have hooked it up, had
Speaker 1: a steamer on high, and somebody open the door get
Speaker 1: blasted in the face with steam. Steam is actually very dangerous.
Speaker 1: Steam is dangerous. But that's not that steaming hidden like that.
Speaker 1: It's not hidden like that iron. I'm not I'm exactly
Speaker 1: my point, Okay, Danger, yeah, yeah, danger, danger, Safety for
Speaker 1: the person using the iron is what I see. But
Speaker 1: it's also danger to the person using the iron. You've
Speaker 1: all been burned buying here, We've all been burned buying, right,
Speaker 1: We've all was that of iron was not on and
Speaker 1: it was on We've all looked for two seconds and
Speaker 1: something Kananon, Kansan. We've all been burned by irons, have
Speaker 1: been permanently scarred by irons. Look, I don't know nobody
Speaker 1: with a steamer, with a steamer scar anything truly beautiful
Speaker 1: is a little dangerous. Not fucking with you, Okay, don't you?
Speaker 1: That is the most That's the craziest thing. That was insane.
Speaker 1: I'm worried about you when anybody did know you? Negro
Speaker 1: what this man? Josh? And while I'm out here, any screens,
Speaker 1: So let's give it over to the listener. Yeah, let's
Speaker 1: kick it to you. What do you think irons versus steamers?
Speaker 1: What do you use more? What do you love more?
Speaker 1: Which one do you think has more utility? Iron? So
Speaker 1: whatever you think, you let us know in the comments.
Speaker 1: You can let us know on social if you're looking
Speaker 1: for us, you can find me at Josh Johnson Comedy
Speaker 1: on Instagram, at Josh Johnson on Twitter, Josh j Called
Speaker 1: me on Facebook if you still use it, and Josh
Speaker 1: Johnson Comedy on YouTube and TikTok if you're looking for
Speaker 1: dul say in Dulce Sloan on everything, because I don't
Speaker 1: want to confuse you. Um, but also I do realize
Speaker 1: there's seven thousand Josh Johnson. Yeah, I can't help that,
Speaker 1: you know, there's so many of us. I know, I
Speaker 1: just know by your email if there's so many. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you know, we we appreciate you. We hope you
Speaker 1: had a great time listening, and honestly, um, we hope
Speaker 1: you have a great weekend that is pressed and cleaned,
Speaker 1: no creases that you don't want, and you're looking fresh
Speaker 1: in the world. No sticks, no stamps. I don't even smoke. Leave.
Speaker 1: I don't know where I said that. Thanks for listening
Speaker 1: to everyone, and hey, we want to know what do
Speaker 1: you want to hear us? Are you about on this podcast?
Speaker 1: Drop a comment on any hold up clip you see
Speaker 1: on the daily shows, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube pages.
Speaker 1: We check them all and you can also tweet at
Speaker 1: us using the hashtag hold up. There's a lot of options,
Speaker 1: so there's no excuse. Let us know.