Speaker 1: Hey, fam I'm Jada Pinkett Smith and this is the
Speaker 1: Red Table Pop podcast all your favorite episodes from the
Speaker 1: Facebook watch show in audio, produced by Westbrook Audio and
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts. On this Red Piano a super special
Speaker 1: episode with my sister Alicia Keys. What's the biggest misconception
Speaker 1: that you think people have about you? Probably that I'm
Speaker 1: very happy or that I'm very strong. Well, really, I
Speaker 1: don't even know how to get mad Dusty. She's sharing
Speaker 1: her truths, her fears, and her secret passions. Oh, here
Speaker 1: we go. Our t t is on fire. This girl,
Speaker 1: this girl. All right, Alicia's here today we can do
Speaker 1: something special for Okay, So are you super good? Welcome
Speaker 1: to the Red Piano. Who we got a red piano
Speaker 1: piano talk today? How neat? Is that right? You know,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to have you me too. I'm honored,
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you and excited I have the
Speaker 1: red nails for the Red Piano. Well, first of all,
Speaker 1: I was trying to remember. I was like, how did
Speaker 1: we meet? Was Superwoman? I think it was a video
Speaker 1: it was a Superwoman. That's crazy good. I think so unleash.
Speaker 1: That was the first that you called, and you were like, hey,
Speaker 1: I really want you to be in the video. That
Speaker 1: has to be it. But the crazy thing is, I
Speaker 1: feel like I've known you since the day something about you.
Speaker 1: You're so kindered to me. I feel like I've never
Speaker 1: not known you. It was like, hey, that's what we
Speaker 1: were doing with me? Man, where did that come from?
Speaker 1: It's been so interesting that I've become known for songs
Speaker 1: that are very empowering for women. I realized now that
Speaker 1: the times that I've written those songs are the times
Speaker 1: that I've needed those songs. Yeah, that makes total sense.
Speaker 1: It was usually at times where I felt so unstrong,
Speaker 1: so unsuperwomanly, so weak or confused and feeling misunderstood that
Speaker 1: the only way that I knew how to get through
Speaker 1: that was to write what I was hoping for. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's really powerful, though, because it's almost like medicine, not
Speaker 1: only medicine for you, but medicine for other people. Know,
Speaker 1: even one on my mess still up. Yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 1: that's the thing we are. I didn't realize that ever.
Speaker 1: When did you realize it? Like yesterday when you say
Speaker 1: you're a mess, Like, what are the things that I
Speaker 1: have been doing this thing for many years where I
Speaker 1: have been down playing or whatever it is that I
Speaker 1: need because I never want to come off to demanding.
Speaker 1: I just need that little bit. I don't need a lie.
Speaker 1: And I've always thought that that was actually a very righteous,
Speaker 1: beautiful way to be. I realized that, in fact, what
Speaker 1: I've been doing to myself and what I've been actually
Speaker 1: asking the universe to give me is only a little bit.
Speaker 1: I've been battling, potentially some self worth issues because for
Speaker 1: whatever reason, I'm feeling like I'm not deserving of greatness,
Speaker 1: You're not good enough, and I've been smushing it down
Speaker 1: for so long that if it's become a habit, a
Speaker 1: bad habit, I have some clarity as to how that happened.
Speaker 1: I think at the time that when I first started,
Speaker 1: I was so young. I mean I was fourteen, and
Speaker 1: when actually everything exploded, I was eighteen, and so I
Speaker 1: was a baby just trying to I was like, I
Speaker 1: can do it, I'll do it, put it out. Here's
Speaker 1: what I do. Tell her, And do you know what
Speaker 1: I was doing? None of it, none of us like,
Speaker 1: but I don't know what to do exactly. They had
Speaker 1: such strong ideas about what they wanted for me, and
Speaker 1: there was a certain sense of desire for me to
Speaker 1: be inaccessible. Yeah, And I think the reason why I
Speaker 1: was mostly protection because I was so young. I was
Speaker 1: a girl like everybody can't get to her, and so
Speaker 1: that happened and suddenly didn't access myself either because I
Speaker 1: was so young, and I was just trying to kind
Speaker 1: of hang on and make it all makes sense and
Speaker 1: might not fall on my face, and so I was
Speaker 1: trying to keep everything together like I think I have
Speaker 1: it and this is how I do it. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I just kept on and that was just it.
Speaker 1: So it just kind of ended up being that way. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I understand the pain of and the pressure and how
Speaker 1: it exhausts one to have to live up to and
Speaker 1: unwrap ivel the smile because we always see smiling, especially
Speaker 1: when there's some pain going on. He's a song. I'm
Speaker 1: like to smile to the gravel a smile. It's so good.
Speaker 1: M h. I realized that that, like here we go,
Speaker 1: like that brought tears to my eyes just to feel
Speaker 1: so have you been able to identify the fears within you?
Speaker 1: Fair face? Thank you? Because I need song, my fears.
Speaker 1: I don't even know how to get mad. Really, that's deep.
Speaker 1: I don't even know what it's like to just lose
Speaker 1: my mind on somebody and just totally lose it. My mother,
Speaker 1: on another hand, has been very good at being angry
Speaker 1: and kind of sharing her true feelings, which I actually
Speaker 1: admired deeply about her. I almost wish So many times
Speaker 1: I looked at her like I wish I could do that,
Speaker 1: which would be so free. But I think because she
Speaker 1: raised me and it was her and I, there was
Speaker 1: a certain balance that I had to naturally take in
Speaker 1: order for the relationship to work. We couldn't both kind
Speaker 1: of yeah, like somebody had to be So I think
Speaker 1: I became that person, and then I kind of took
Speaker 1: that with me everywhere. So I became that person with everybody.
Speaker 1: Oh I was going to be the figure I would
Speaker 1: or I was gonna be the one that kind of
Speaker 1: made everything. Oh no, that's what I learned to be.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be the one with the piano, with
Speaker 1: the thing and the thing that the knights on, the
Speaker 1: feel of the sweet and the smiling thing and the peacemaker.
Speaker 1: That that's who I am. But that's not how I
Speaker 1: am so in thinking about that. How did it make
Speaker 1: you feel when people would be angry at you? Would
Speaker 1: you get into a people pleasing molde constantly like how
Speaker 1: can I make this right? How can I make this right?
Speaker 1: I'm the one who had to put the bowl with
Speaker 1: the ribbon and the sparkly paper over everything. Like if
Speaker 1: if everything wasn't wrapped up with a bowl by the
Speaker 1: time I was finished with it, I was not comfortable. Right,
Speaker 1: It's so sick of me. I'm so annoying. I want
Speaker 1: to vomit at my own self because it's just like, honestly,
Speaker 1: seriously and recently, I have to pull myself back from
Speaker 1: the collar around my jacket and I say, don't fix that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel you on that one. Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: feel you, oh my, And it hurt and it's hard. Yeah.
Speaker 1: What was the best piece of advice you've ever gotten?
Speaker 1: Probably from my amazing grandmother. This is one of my
Speaker 1: favorite songs. And you remind me my grandmother. Does anybody
Speaker 1: tell you that? I feel like you might remind a
Speaker 1: lot of people. Um. When she was dying, she lived
Speaker 1: with me. Wow, and it was amazing because all my
Speaker 1: life she had to take care of me, and she
Speaker 1: was so elegant and strong and fear and sincere, and
Speaker 1: there was in a car that she didn't write for
Speaker 1: a person's birthday or celebration or graduation or she was
Speaker 1: that one right And and I knew I wasn't gonna
Speaker 1: have her much longer. And I started thinking about mortality
Speaker 1: a lot. And I remember when I wrote this song,
Speaker 1: a lot of people thought that, uh, it's about a
Speaker 1: love of you know, a boyfriend, right, But this was
Speaker 1: really about my love for her. And so she taught
Speaker 1: me to cherish the moments. And she also taught me
Speaker 1: that if, um, if things weren't happening in the way
Speaker 1: that you thought they were supposed to happen, that was okay. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was okay. I was like, what that's not okay?
Speaker 1: It is okay, Yeah, you gotta let things be. And
Speaker 1: so if I had no the time and my time
Speaker 1: not to be here with your chair, wish won't be had?
Speaker 1: Was I god that you were looking for? If I
Speaker 1: count it, feel your touch and a long way with me,
Speaker 1: I'd be with shoun. You're here to be every thing
Speaker 1: that I've been looking for. I don't want to forget.
Speaker 1: The present is again and I don't wanna take for
Speaker 1: credit that time you may have hearing me, because Lord
Speaker 1: only knows I not. The day is not really guaranteed.
Speaker 1: So every time you hold me, oh me like that's
Speaker 1: at the lastst time. Yes, every time your kiss me,
Speaker 1: kiss me like you'll love see me again. Every time
Speaker 1: it touch me, touch me like that's at the last time,
Speaker 1: promise that you love me, love me. I can sit
Speaker 1: me again. I remember that song. It was like one
Speaker 1: of my favorites too. Yeah, I did not know it
Speaker 1: was about your grandmother though. Yeah, it has such a
Speaker 1: different meaning. Yeah, that's so beautiful. It has such a
Speaker 1: wow it's powerful. She is we are Yeah, thank you? Yeah, wow,
Speaker 1: thank you. This is really a gift. What's the biggest
Speaker 1: misconception that you think people have about you? Probably that
Speaker 1: I'm very happy or that I'm very strong. Yeah, m
Speaker 1: but I get the sense that people expect me. They're like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean you feel bad? Oh? My favorite
Speaker 1: one that that they don't think I cursed. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what the what make you think? I don't? H watch
Speaker 1: watch watch would you air it at it? Oh? Sh yeah.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't until recently I realized the whole pedestal
Speaker 1: ideas like, please kick the pedestal down. I'm good, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be on the floor, right. I want to be
Speaker 1: right good, Right, we all right here together, We are good. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I could just be me. I can be all my flawed,
Speaker 1: beautiful self. You can be your flawed beautiful self. We
Speaker 1: can just hang out and talk and work through it
Speaker 1: and sorted out. That's where I want to be anywhere else.
Speaker 1: That's what I've been using this red table to strip
Speaker 1: it down. Is that where the no makeup came from, too,
Speaker 1: you know, the no makeup thing came I was definitely
Speaker 1: frustrated with just a lot of things in the world.
Speaker 1: I had like a paper that I wrote down all
Speaker 1: the things that piste me off. I'm piste off about
Speaker 1: the way that if my son wants to paint his nails,
Speaker 1: it's a big freaking deal. I'm piste off. I'm piste
Speaker 1: off that if I'm not so put together. And I
Speaker 1: walked out theside, someone says to me, you look tired.
Speaker 1: I'm not tired. This is just my face. My yeah,
Speaker 1: but I didn't even know that because I didn't even
Speaker 1: know my face. I didn't even know my own face.
Speaker 1: And when I took off all the stuff and I
Speaker 1: looked into the mirror, I didn't know that person. I
Speaker 1: was like, I would walk by the mir and like
Speaker 1: I didn't know who that was. Wow, it was that drastic.
Speaker 1: I looked back today at pictures today and I'm like, jeez,
Speaker 1: Alicia really didn't really have to read that. There was
Speaker 1: just so much I was realizing I don't want to
Speaker 1: know myself more. Then I started getting his head trip
Speaker 1: about like, oh my gosh, I've done that because I've
Speaker 1: been told to do that, succumbing to whatever people's expectations
Speaker 1: of me are, which is mostly pretty much my whole life. Like,
Speaker 1: what do you expect for me? Oh? Let me do it? Wow?
Speaker 1: What would you say the time in your life that
Speaker 1: has been most challenging. I would say finding the strength
Speaker 1: to let go of the people that weren't serving me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when they were so integral and everything that I had known, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I felt almost so dependent on them. I felt
Speaker 1: in my mind I thought that without them I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be me. And that took a long time to come
Speaker 1: to terms with that. People definitely assist you in your journey,
Speaker 1: for sure, but they don't make you. Nobody makes you.
Speaker 1: I make me. But it takes you a minute to
Speaker 1: get to that space when you realize just yesterday to
Speaker 1: this day, I'm like, I make me. I know what
Speaker 1: I need, Alicia, what do you need? Stop? Stop going?
Speaker 1: Do you think that I need to know? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like we do this weird thing, me especially, and I
Speaker 1: want to ask everybody and a mother to tell me
Speaker 1: what right for some reason, like I don't trust myself,
Speaker 1: so like no, if it's like the best it could
Speaker 1: possibly be. And you know what, I realized about that
Speaker 1: just in my own journey, there have been things in
Speaker 1: my life that I've done that would sit totally outside
Speaker 1: of what people think I am right, So that you
Speaker 1: have this guilt and you have this shame. So then
Speaker 1: you lose the trust in yourself, right because you're like
Speaker 1: I did this, I did that. Those weren't really great decisions.
Speaker 1: So maybe I don't really know anybody else needs to
Speaker 1: be telling well, maybe I need to be on this
Speaker 1: person's journey, right, And so I had to really take
Speaker 1: a moment and look at my life and go all
Speaker 1: of it, every bit of it has been to get
Speaker 1: you to where you are today, to get you to
Speaker 1: your freedom. You had to go through those, You had
Speaker 1: to live who you weren't to know who you are.
Speaker 1: There is so much tenderness that I'm learning to have
Speaker 1: with myself, and so much more empathy that I'm learning
Speaker 1: to have with myself, and just being able to, like,
Speaker 1: I'm so empathetic about everybody else. I can sit there
Speaker 1: and come up with every reason as to why whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't worry. It's just because they're a little frustrated.
Speaker 1: There's a lot going on, and you can understand how
Speaker 1: that could, but I don't have that same tenderness in myself.
Speaker 1: I just want to talk a little bit about your
Speaker 1: relationship with Swissit. So you guys have been married for
Speaker 1: nine years now, how's that going. It's always been so
Speaker 1: easy for us, easy in the sense of nothing is
Speaker 1: just easy. There are challenges with everything, but there's a
Speaker 1: que between you. Yeah, my husband's like such a free spirit.
Speaker 1: Swisses like in the sky, yeah, the way he thinks.
Speaker 1: He's just like he's just in the sky and everything's
Speaker 1: just all up there. And I'm like, I got Grabma's
Speaker 1: foot and I'm like here we go, Okay, two seconds.
Speaker 1: I got you for two seconds he got it, Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, go and that's like into face and we
Speaker 1: get along really well like that because we balanced each other.
Speaker 1: Like he helps me dreams, Yes, help me dream. I've
Speaker 1: never dreamed like how I did before I met it, right,
Speaker 1: because the way he dreamed. I'm like, jeez, you get
Speaker 1: all those thoughts together, you know. And I've been jealous
Speaker 1: of him before. I'm like, yep, you got bigger dreams
Speaker 1: than me. I understand that will dreams huge and we'll
Speaker 1: have bigger dreams for us that we could even imagine
Speaker 1: for ourselves. So what has motherhood taught you? Gosh? So
Speaker 1: the kids, what have they taught me? Yes, they've taught
Speaker 1: me so much. They've taught me to appreciate the vibe,
Speaker 1: to appreciate the magic, and to know when it's not there.
Speaker 1: Because there's moments when something is actually magic and you're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna go ahead and stay here
Speaker 1: and I might be really late tonight, but the magic
Speaker 1: is here and it's worth it. And then there's other
Speaker 1: moments where I'm like, there's no magic, and it's taught
Speaker 1: me I don't have to try to conjure up the magic,
Speaker 1: make the thing. No, it's not happening the day. Go
Speaker 1: go make sure you're where you need to be. You know.
Speaker 1: So that's been cool because I used to just beat
Speaker 1: things to death. If I wasn't working nineteen hours a day,
Speaker 1: I wasn't actually work working. Yeah, stupid. Well, before we go,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna bring out the fishbowl, Alicia, how do you
Speaker 1: not lose yourself in a relationship when you are with
Speaker 1: a successful man? Oh? Okay, question question. Ever since the
Speaker 1: beginning of our relationship, we always had something that was
Speaker 1: called keep it Real, whatever the day was. So if
Speaker 1: it was Wednesday, you're like, keep it real Wednesday, and
Speaker 1: I would kind of be our signal that there was
Speaker 1: something we needed to discuss that might be a little tricky.
Speaker 1: You know. For me, I've had a history of excusing
Speaker 1: things that I felt, making excuses for them. Oh well,
Speaker 1: he didn't mean that. What he really was probably trying
Speaker 1: to say, you know, but I knew it bothered me,
Speaker 1: and I pushed it down and I've shoved it in
Speaker 1: there and I kept it instead of just like, hey
Speaker 1: really bothered me. The way you said that made me
Speaker 1: it feel made me feel like diminished or like you
Speaker 1: didn't really respect what I had to say, and that
Speaker 1: made me feel uncomfortable. I only lose myself when I
Speaker 1: can't speak from you. Don't express yourself, So that that's good.
Speaker 1: Another one, Yeah, it's all for you. What's your secret passion? Okay,
Speaker 1: my secret passion. I truly want to be a party planner.
Speaker 1: I truly I was waiting for like true, I really
Speaker 1: like molecular Yeah, I always wanted to work in a
Speaker 1: bridle shot. That's a good one. I can see that.
Speaker 1: I can say that I truly yes to the happy,
Speaker 1: like putting an environment that makes people happy and taking
Speaker 1: their unique whatever and making it a moment that they'll
Speaker 1: never forget. I just enjoy it so much. I love surprises.
Speaker 1: I love surprising people. I didn't know that I like
Speaker 1: this before because I didn't ever like to be surprised myself.
Speaker 1: I just don't surprise me, don't something. My birthday was
Speaker 1: all tight. I was so tight. That was the problem.
Speaker 1: I'm so tight. Mosten up, relax and so that's my
Speaker 1: secret passion. I've considered starting the side business. But you know,
Speaker 1: party planning dreams. How many supposed to do that? You
Speaker 1: could do as you want? Is there? Artists? You haven't
Speaker 1: collaborated that you'd love to do something together. Well, my
Speaker 1: lifelong dream is to collaborate with Lauren Hill. That's like
Speaker 1: a yes, that's like that would be amazing, so iconic.
Speaker 1: That's gonna be like we're gonna say, that's happy. It
Speaker 1: hasn't happened yet, but it's going to happen. Big love
Speaker 1: to her, she's amazing. Thanks for my fishball fishball love.
Speaker 1: That's it. But before we leave, can you play girl
Speaker 1: on fire on our way? If you're saying it real loud, Yeah,
Speaker 1: real crazy with Alicia all r. Right, we get to
Speaker 1: the courts, okay, just playing out because we girls don't
Speaker 1: find We're just gonna kill it. Okay, don't matter. We
Speaker 1: could be off, we could be all, we could be
Speaker 1: flat with sharp, that's the point. Right. She's just a
Speaker 1: girl and she's on fire. How do than a fantasy
Speaker 1: only like a highway. She's living in a whirland. It's
Speaker 1: on fire, feel wi catastrophe, but she knows she can
Speaker 1: fly away. She got huff beat on the crown and
Speaker 1: she's burning it down. Got a head in the cloud
Speaker 1: and she's not making down. This girl is on fire.
Speaker 1: This girl is on fire. She's walking on fire. This
Speaker 1: girl is on fire. Yeah, how you did it. It's
Speaker 1: just been awesome. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for doing this, and for conceptualizing
Speaker 1: this and being brave enough to be together like this
Speaker 1: and breaking down barriers and opening us all up to talking.
Speaker 1: It's a blessing. I love to hear that. Seriously. Hey,
Speaker 1: r t T family, Join our Red Table Talk group
Speaker 1: on Facebook to become part of the conversation, and be
Speaker 1: sure to follow the show page to catch up on
Speaker 1: all our episodes. After the episode, we asked Alicia to
Speaker 1: play around with our theme song, and this is what happened.
Speaker 1: H m hm m m hmmm. You know it's given
Speaker 1: me one night. Just keep clearing. It's just instrumental. It's
Speaker 1: just instrumental. I wish I can listen to song play it.
Speaker 1: Don't be all. I just want to be myself. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be. I just want to Okay, I just want
Speaker 1: to be myself. I don't want to be, I just
Speaker 1: want to be. I like that. Keep going, however, Alkay,
Speaker 1: so what's the first word the first one? I don't
Speaker 1: want to be? It was I just want to be myself.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be said, Okay, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be anyone anyone. I don't want to be anyone.
Speaker 1: I just want to be myself. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be anyone. I just want to be exactly. I got it,
Speaker 1: I want we got it anything. I just want to
Speaker 1: be anyone. Oh, I just want to be myself. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be anyone. Yeah, I just wanted to
Speaker 1: be myself. I don't want to be anyone. I just
Speaker 1: want to be myself. I just want to be. I
Speaker 1: want to be myself. I don't want to be anyone else. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just want to be myself. I just want to be.
Speaker 1: I just want to be myself all the wait, wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: we gotta get this one. Ti'm real good, a little
Speaker 1: harmy too ready, And I just want to be myself.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be anyone else. I just want
Speaker 1: to be myself. I just want to be. I just
Speaker 1: want to be myself. I don't want to bear anyone else.
Speaker 1: I just want to be myself. Up. I just want
Speaker 1: to be. Yeah, Oh my god, so beautiful your theme song.
Speaker 1: To join the Red Table Talk family and become a
Speaker 1: part of the conversation, follow us at facebook dot com
Speaker 1: slash red table Talk. Thanks for listening to this episode
Speaker 1: of Red Table Talk podcast, produced by Facebook Watch, Westbrook Audio,
Speaker 1: and I Heart Radio.