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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcast.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes we'll get

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Speaker 1: into the episode.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend faked a proposal in public.

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Speaker 4: I hope he didn't fake the ring.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend male twenty six and I female, twenty five

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Speaker 3: have been together just under a year. Our relationship has

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Speaker 3: been genuinely great. We live together, have a cat, have

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Speaker 3: met each other's families, and openly talk about marriage in

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Speaker 3: a healthy, realistic way. We both agree we want to

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Speaker 3: do it right and be ready when the time comes.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from TAWA fifty four to

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Speaker 3: sixty three seven. And if you want to spit your

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Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime subpartate.

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Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm Amanda, and.

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Speaker 2: I'm Keon and Amanda a special guest here. So first,

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Speaker 2: Amanda Hood is a passionate matchmaker with twenty years of

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Speaker 2: experience as a college professor, small business owner, and a

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Speaker 2: consult bringing a leak communication skills and client first approach

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Speaker 2: to every match with nearly two decades of marriage and

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Speaker 2: countless long term relationships guided under her belt, Amanda has

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Speaker 2: a true knack for spotting the connections that actually last.

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Speaker 2: She makes clients feel comfortable sharing the little extra things

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Speaker 2: that make them who they are, then helps those extra

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Speaker 2: shine so you can relax and focus on life while

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Speaker 2: she does the rest. Amanda Hood, thank you so much

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Speaker 2: for being here.

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Speaker 4: Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 3: And Amanda's gonna help us read some stories and give

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Speaker 3: some advice. I can't wait, all right, so oh Pie says.

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Speaker 3: I don't push marriage conversations, but when it comes up, naturally,

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Speaker 3: we're on the same page. I'm excited about marriage someday,

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Speaker 3: but I also understand how serious of a commitment is.

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Speaker 3: This weekend, my boyfriend and I went out to dinner

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Speaker 3: and then to an interactive museum in La La story.

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Speaker 2: An interact with museum in La There's only a couple

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Speaker 2: I can.

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Speaker 3: Think of which ones are the interact ones.

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Speaker 2: There's the Van Go one I love. Then yeah, there's

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Speaker 2: also the like I think it's like the ball balloon one.

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Speaker 2: There's a balloon.

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Speaker 4: Worad the Van Go wins like a traveling experience. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 4: because we have that that comes to Ohio. I'm from Ohio.

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Speaker 2: Why did you say it like that?

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Speaker 3: Everybody knows how it is, my shameful sun. None of

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Speaker 3: this was a surprise, as he had told me about

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Speaker 3: it ahead of time, and I was excited. Everything was

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Speaker 3: going really well. Toward the end of the museum tour,

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Speaker 3: a staff member told us to meet him down the

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Speaker 3: hall in about ten minutes. I asked my boyfriend what

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Speaker 3: it was for, and he wouldn't tell me. When we

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Speaker 3: got there, the staff member was dressed like an efficient

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Speaker 3: and asked if we wanted to get married right now?

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Speaker 3: The staff member, is this the interactive experience? You just

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Speaker 3: get married? I was completely shocked. My boyfriend got down

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Speaker 3: on one knee, gave me a ring and told me

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Speaker 3: I was, without a doubt, the person he wanted to

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Speaker 3: be with. He said he had even spoken to my

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Speaker 3: dad and gotten his permission. I asked him multiple times

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Speaker 3: if this was really happened, and each time he said yes,

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Speaker 3: I believed him. We went through a full ceremony, we

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Speaker 3: set our vows, we set our eye dos Efficient gave

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Speaker 3: us paperwork and my boyfriend said that we'd need to

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Speaker 3: take it to the courthouse on Monday after work. Afterward,

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Speaker 3: I asked again if it was real, and that's when

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Speaker 3: my boyfriend laughed and said, you're so gullible? Were you

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Speaker 3: to pause? That's there, that's messed up. What are your thoughts?

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Speaker 4: I mean, my real thoughts are Wait, a few things,

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Speaker 4: like he had a ring. Yes, he knew that this

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Speaker 4: was already happening. Okay, this was actually not a surprise. No,

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Speaker 4: this was not something that he probably randomly does. No,

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Speaker 4: this was a total setup. And I think a real

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Speaker 4: proposal and a real instant marriage. And I think he

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Speaker 4: had buyer's remorse the following day. I think he like

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Speaker 4: regretted it, yeah, for whatever reason immediately and then decided

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Speaker 4: to gaslight her.

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Speaker 3: I kind of agree, yeah, because why else would you

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Speaker 3: go through the whole thing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because the really bad.

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Speaker 3: The moments when we have fake I hope to.

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Speaker 4: God, she left him.

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Speaker 3: I hope. So I hope she left him me too,

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Speaker 3: because when whenever we have fake proposals, it's usually like

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Speaker 3: someone's recording. It doesn't seem like he did that.

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Speaker 4: So the moment that that guy looked at me and

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Speaker 4: was like, you're so gullible, I would have been like, clearly,

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Speaker 4: because I'm still with yo at ooh yeah, so Evan,

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Speaker 4: I would have been like, this is it, this is

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Speaker 4: our last day?

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Speaker 3: Ye bye. I immediately shut down. I cried the entire

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Speaker 3: drive home. I felt embarrassed, humiliated, and foolish for trusting him.

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Speaker 3: I know to some people this situation might sound obviously

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Speaker 3: fake or kishy, but to me, it didn't feel that way.

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Speaker 3: In the moment. I trusted my partner and he reassured

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Speaker 3: me repeatedly that it was real. I told him how

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Speaker 3: embarrassed and hurt I felt. He says he feels bad,

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Speaker 3: but also says it was real to him.

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Speaker 2: What what?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 2: What does that mean?

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Speaker 3: Which honestly just confuses and hurts me more. I can't

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Speaker 3: stop crying when I think about it, and now I'm

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Speaker 3: scared that if he ever actually proposes, I won't be

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Speaker 3: able to trust that it's real. I don't know if

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Speaker 3: I'm overacting, but this feels like something you shouldn't joke about.

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Speaker 3: I'd really appreciate an outside perspective on this, And it

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Speaker 3: was the Museum of Love, so that does kind of

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Speaker 3: make sense why the curator would be efficient.

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Speaker 2: Obviously.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we've got some comments, but that last comment from him,

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Speaker 3: confused me because it sounds like maybe it was something

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Speaker 3: along what you were saying. Yeah, him regretting it.

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Speaker 4: Also a couple of things. Number one, what is the

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Speaker 4: time span here? How long has this gone on? And

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Speaker 4: has she stayed with him since this incident occurred? Where

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Speaker 4: she's like, I keep thinking about it, I can't get

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Speaker 4: past it whatever, Like how many days has this gone on?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: And number two, when he says like it was real

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Speaker 4: for me, boom, that's your moment, sister, to like get

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Speaker 4: clarity on that and not keep yourself in some sort

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Speaker 4: of like space of ambiguity where you don't underst what's

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Speaker 4: going on in your relationship. There is some tough love here,

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Speaker 4: but this is a problem that you have with not

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Speaker 4: asking what the hell are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: Sir?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, agreed, How is this real for you? Yeah?

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Speaker 4: When it wasn't real?

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Speaker 3: What does that mean? And it's also only been under

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Speaker 3: a year, which feels like one too maybe too quick

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Speaker 3: to get married And.

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Speaker 4: I got married after dating my husband for five months.

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Speaker 3: I think it can work out, but I think this

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Speaker 3: this did not. This was not.

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Speaker 4: Because this is a character issue that has nothing to

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Speaker 4: do with time.

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Speaker 3: Yes, exactly. Comments from op says, I wish I could

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Speaker 3: say this is fictional, but it's not. I agree that

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Speaker 3: waiting till the end to tell me it wasn't real

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Speaker 3: was crappy. I think the ad on the museum offers

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Speaker 3: is cute, but only if both people are aware of

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Speaker 3: what's happening.

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Speaker 4: Wait, always thinking this is an offer that was on?

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Speaker 4: So like is on link?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Is this on the website?

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Speaker 3: Is this? Yeah? Is it? Like? If you want to

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Speaker 3: get surprised married? Anybody's down to get the prize married

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Speaker 3: during the curation. So many people want that. That's everyone's

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Speaker 3: at it.

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Speaker 2: I'm looking, I'm looking around.

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Speaker 4: Okay, let's see if that's keep going.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna. I don't think so. But that's crazy, he old.

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Speaker 3: On what Oh okay, Cary says, wedding.

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Speaker 2: For a day, thing for a day is crazy?

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Speaker 3: What does that mean?

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Speaker 4: But he had a ring? Yeah, so he knew he

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Speaker 4: prepped that he did.

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Speaker 3: Oh, He says, I have a tendency to underreact and

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Speaker 3: downplay a situation. Half of me is really upset and

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Speaker 3: feels betrayed, but the other half feels like my reaction

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Speaker 3: ruined the date night. That's the worst part. Wait, what

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Speaker 3: was her reaction just that she was upset that he

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Speaker 3: said you're gullible? What how is that your fault? Commoner says,

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Speaker 3: so you got engaged and surprise married at a moment's notice.

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Speaker 3: What were you thinking? Well, if you didn't question that,

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Speaker 3: you should be asking yourself why and why do you

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Speaker 3: just acquiem as to this after all your discussions about

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Speaker 3: healthy commitment. It was a crappy joke, and I can't

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Speaker 3: tell whether I'd end the relationship out of anger or embarrassment.

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Speaker 3: Carla's gonna tell us some information. I'm married for a day.

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Speaker 3: Basic ticket to the museum, a ring, a wedding certificate, ceremony,

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Speaker 3: and a polaroid. I do assume they take it back

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Speaker 3: at the end of the day. Oh okay, so it's

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Speaker 3: not his ring. They provide a ring.

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Speaker 4: Wow, somebody commented about something about getting married with a potato.

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Speaker 4: I want to see that. Yeah, well, I was going

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Speaker 4: to get back to that.

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Speaker 3: Taylor Coo says, my ex proposed to me using a

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Speaker 3: potato initially because he wasn't exactly planning on doing it

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Speaker 3: when he did. Lamo, we went and picked out a

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Speaker 3: ring the next day, but also the potato was an

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Speaker 3: inside joke too. That seems really cute.

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Speaker 2: Idaho, you're into that.

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Speaker 3: This situation seems like just kind of a mean joke.

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Speaker 4: Can we also please get down to the bottom of

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Speaker 4: why did he have a ring?

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Speaker 3: Well, because they provide it and that's what the ring. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's such a weird thing for them.

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Speaker 2: To Is it like a nice ring too, or is

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Speaker 2: it just like the one ring that they always.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like a plastic rade. So strange, Opie says,

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Speaker 3: you have a point. Then again, I get very flustered

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Speaker 3: in situations like this, and so for all I knew

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Speaker 3: this was legitimate. Who wouldn't get flustered in the moment.

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Speaker 3: Looking back, I can see how my judgment was kewed,

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Speaker 3: But in the moment it was going very fast, Opie says,

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Speaker 3: I was flustered in the moment and did not know.

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Speaker 3: I was just very overwhelmed. Looking back, yes, I can

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Speaker 3: see how illegitimate it looks, but what he said and

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Speaker 3: how he kept leading me to think it was genuine

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Speaker 3: hurts most. I'd probably admit that I am naive, especially

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Speaker 3: after this, And Opie says, I've done some research and

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Speaker 3: apparently the museum offers a wedding for a day package

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Speaker 3: that you can purchase. It's an add on for couples.

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Speaker 3: This alone is a harmless idea, given everyone is aware

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Speaker 3: and understands it's for play. I still feel like it's

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Speaker 3: not real at all.

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Speaker 4: No, why would they offer it if it's not real?

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Speaker 3: That's so strange to me to offer Why would any

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Speaker 3: couple want to do that, Like, if you're not already,

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Speaker 3: maybe if you're married, it makes sense to me, but

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Speaker 3: I feel like if you're not married, it's just kind

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Speaker 3: of weird.

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Speaker 4: I feel like things have changed now that we've read

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Speaker 4: the thing on the website and we have more information.

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Speaker 4: Now I need to go back to the original like

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Speaker 4: proposal of doing this, and she said. I specifically asked,

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Speaker 4: is this real? She asked that at the beginning, yeah,

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Speaker 4: and she was told yes right by her boyfriend multiple times.

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Speaker 2: Heidelberg, ass, what museum? Does this sounds made up? I'm

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Speaker 2: googling al.

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Speaker 3: So she asked, is this reel?

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Speaker 4: Several times he replied yes, yes, this still sounds very

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Speaker 4: like messed up to me.

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Speaker 3: I think we've been dating a little under a year.

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Speaker 3: I think we got it quitsy you.

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Speaker 2: Guys, have you guys heard of people doing this where

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Speaker 2: they they fake their proposal at like restaurants or no,

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Speaker 2: somewhere fun and they get like a free dessert, yes,

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Speaker 2: or like something you've never.

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Speaker 4: Heard of that now I have heard of people like

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Speaker 4: faking their birthday to get like a free dessert.

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Speaker 3: Taking a proposal as next level. I think people will

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Speaker 3: usually fake a honeymoon. That's what I've we just.

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Speaker 2: Got married something something like that, but they fake it.

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Speaker 2: And that's why I was like, Okay, maybe they're trying

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Speaker 2: to get some like cool, cool like package or like

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Speaker 2: maybe some something free because you have to paid, which

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Speaker 2: is I know, just so dumb.

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Speaker 3: You have to pay to like psychologically hurt your partner.

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Speaker 4: And why did he say to her like we have

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Speaker 4: to go to the courthouse and legitimize this next day.

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Speaker 4: Why did he say that at all?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: If I were the museum worker, I'd be like, girl,

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Speaker 3: it's no, it's a part of this.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I'm not bothered by the fact the marriage wasn't real.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how marriage works because that's so far

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Speaker 3: into the future for me. There's no reason for me

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Speaker 3: to have looked into that because I'm just not ready.

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Speaker 3: I'm bothered by the fact I was flustered and vulnerable

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Speaker 3: position and he led me to believe his vows and

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Speaker 3: what was happening. We're true, I agree, valin Opie says,

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Speaker 3: looking back, it is obvious it's a cute add on.

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Speaker 3: I do tend to be gullible, and everyone close to

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Speaker 3: me understands this. What bothers me is he was so

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Speaker 3: genuine with the vows and all that, and even said

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Speaker 3: he got permission from my dad.

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Speaker 4: Okay, this is not a cute add on. No, I

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Speaker 4: this is like psychological word this is this is is

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Speaker 4: this like a thing for actors where they can like, oh.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, practice practice something. What is happening?

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Speaker 4: But this is not a cute add on at all.

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Speaker 4: And mentioning that he talked to her dad, what is happening?

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Speaker 3: So weird?

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Speaker 2: I know. We're like also halfway through the story. But

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Speaker 2: we have a lot of people coming in and out.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I want to interview you. Mind introducing yourself?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I would love to Hello.

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Speaker 3: Hello.

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Speaker 4: My name is Amanda Hood. I am the founder and

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Speaker 4: CEO of the Krush Confidential that is the nation's only

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Speaker 4: full service relationship curation agent. See so I am a

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Speaker 4: booutique matchmaking firm, and I live in Ohio, but I

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Speaker 4: serve clients nationwide.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and Amanda's here to help us read stories and

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Speaker 3: give advice to and I'm so excited to be we

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Speaker 3: have this poor girl. Plus, I didn't know anything about

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Speaker 3: this museum. I had no clue. That's why I partly

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Speaker 3: am hurt and feel dumb. I genuinely wish this isn't

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Speaker 3: real because my eyes are super red and they hurt

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Speaker 3: from crying. This isn't really how I wanted to spend

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Speaker 3: my weekend. I'm a slow processor and wanted input from Reddit.

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Speaker 3: If you don't believe it, you can simply move on me.

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Speaker 3: Being overly trusting has gotten me in trouble in the

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Speaker 3: past years. For that reason, I'm very guarded and keep

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Speaker 3: my circle small and have a good support system. I

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Speaker 3: just feel like the rug has been pulled right up

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Speaker 3: from under me, or whatever the saying is. I got

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Speaker 3: home late and fell asleep. I didn't want to have

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Speaker 3: a conversation this morning, no conversation. He got up early

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Speaker 3: and brought me breakfast in bed. I said thank you

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Speaker 3: and nothing else. I'm processing things right now and not

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Speaker 3: really talking. So it seems like this is all happening

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Speaker 3: within like like this is the next day.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, baby girl, She's like yeah. It kind of makes

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Speaker 4: me sad because there have been several like comments. I

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Speaker 4: feel like through the thread where she has shown us

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Speaker 4: a lot of like low self.

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Speaker 3: Worth, yeah, and blaming herself.

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Speaker 4: That's not okay. She's probably an EmPATH and probably decides

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Speaker 4: to choose these men with narcissistic tendencies. Sorry, but that's

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Speaker 4: probably true. I feel like, if he enjoyed this, that's dangerous.

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Speaker 3: Enjoyed like her being so hurt by it because at

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Speaker 3: the moment that you know, maybe he had good intentions,

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Speaker 3: maybe he didn't think this was going to go this far.

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Speaker 3: But the second then he notices one she believes it

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Speaker 3: exactly and then she's hurt. Yeah, you got up home.

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Speaker 4: You have a moment right there to like turn it

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Speaker 4: all around.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so sorry. This is just a package thing

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Speaker 3: that we bought.

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Speaker 4: I was saying to a client the other day. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: we were commenting back and forth over text, and he

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Speaker 4: is dating a woman that I set him up with

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Speaker 4: and they're doing great. But I said, listen, you got

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Speaker 4: to know the difference between when a woman wants you

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Speaker 4: to just turn it all around and make it right,

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Speaker 4: and when she really is done, wants to leave. When

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Speaker 4: a woman is done and is like I am done,

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Speaker 4: I am leaving. Like that is on you because you

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Speaker 4: had so many opportunities to turn it around and make

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Speaker 4: it right. Yeah, I'm just telling you. And he, in

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Speaker 4: that moment where she was like, wait, this isn't real,

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Speaker 4: Like this isn't what I thought it was going to be,

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Speaker 4: he chose to say you are so gullible instead of

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Speaker 4: putting his hand on her leg and being like, Babe,

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Speaker 4: I am so sorry. I thought we were like in

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Speaker 4: that moment together. I thought we were acting something out.

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Speaker 4: I thought we were playing a role. I am so sorry.

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Speaker 4: I didn't realize like he had a chance to turn

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Speaker 4: it around.

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Speaker 2: And boy he did not.

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Speaker 4: It's not okay, it's not huggers and caesars so bad

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Speaker 4: for her.

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Speaker 2: It's like also like the guilt tripping and like, oh,

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Speaker 2: your dad gave me, you know, his blessing.

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Speaker 3: What are we doing?

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Speaker 4: What did he get from I need to know that.

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Speaker 4: What were the feelings that he was getting from that

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Speaker 4: that he needed? That's it's disturbing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he's been quiet and downstairs all morning. I think

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Speaker 3: he's giving me space because he can tell I'm upset. Well,

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Speaker 3: at least he could do that.

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Speaker 2: It took him this long to finally figure it out

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Speaker 2: that you're upset and like uncomfortable.

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Speaker 4: Or that's not what he's doing and he doesn't care

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Speaker 4: and he's just watching a show.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, he's.

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Speaker 2: Upset that you're bothering him. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, he's not thinking about you at all.

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Speaker 3: He's like, I've been watching all of these like, uh,

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Speaker 3: I've been watching Love Island for six.

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Speaker 2: Hours, Friends reruns all day.

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Speaker 4: Have you seen that meme where like there's a woman

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Speaker 4: and a man and they're like a married couple and

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Speaker 4: they're laying in bed and there's a little thought bubble

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Speaker 4: and the woman's like, yeah, I don't know what he's

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Speaker 4: stand why he's giving me the silent treatment. The man's

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Speaker 4: like thinking about his truck.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like that cheese or really real. Yeah, as

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Speaker 2: a man, that's yeah.

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Speaker 3: I know.

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Speaker 4: I've been married twenty two years.

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Speaker 2: I know, Carly Sich, what are you thinking of? I'm

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Speaker 2: like absolutely nothing. It's like nothing is in my brain

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Speaker 2: right now, no thoughts right just hamster is.

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Speaker 4: She's like, he's giving me space I'm like, no, he

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Speaker 4: doesn't know, he doesn't care.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, he continues, responding to another comment. I do

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Speaker 3: struggle with that. I have made such great progress over

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Speaker 3: the past five or so years and have kept a

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Speaker 3: good support system. Last night just felt like I went

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Speaker 3: backwards tremendously and that this person really isn't who I

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Speaker 3: thought they were. I really appreciate everyone's feedback. I can

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Speaker 3: appreciate that my judgment was skewed. While I have not

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Speaker 3: seriously looked into the steps required for marriage, I understand

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Speaker 3: there's typically a process behind it. Then again, I get

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Speaker 3: flustered very easily, and I trusted him. I spoke with

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Speaker 3: him and told him I felt blindsided and that the

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Speaker 3: add on package for the event would have been lovely

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Speaker 3: had I known about it. He understood where I was

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Speaker 3: coming from and expressed that he did not intend to

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Speaker 3: hurt me. Rather, he thought it'd be a cute surprise

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Speaker 3: and a memory we could share. He apologized and admitted

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Speaker 3: that his judgment was also off. He also playing that

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Speaker 3: his choice of wording was not appropriate. He did not

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Speaker 3: think I would take it literally, which I unfortunately did.

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Speaker 3: I don't think that's a good enough answer, because he

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Speaker 3: knows you took it literally because you said, like fifteen times,

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Speaker 3: is this real? Yeah, So I don't think that's a

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Speaker 3: very good excuse.

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Speaker 4: Maybe not. But he's doing the right thing.

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Speaker 3: It's a start.

400
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 4: He's doing the right things. He's again like recognizing that

401
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,639
Speaker 4: he did something wrong. He's trying to turn it around

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00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,800
Speaker 4: and reverse it. And so I think all of that

403
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Speaker 4: is good. We can't have all the things. No, I

404
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 4: guess we can't have all the things. And you know,

405
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:39,560
Speaker 4: maybe he was a little like in that moment, like you're.

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Speaker 3: So silly, you're so good.

407
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,400
Speaker 4: But we don't know their relationship and what it really

408
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Speaker 4: looks like. So I mean, is that enough? Is that enough?

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Speaker 2: Let's see if he takes that Wait, we have someone here.

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00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,280
Speaker 2: Healing is an art. Eighty five says I'm a little

411
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Speaker 2: bit behind, but I love Amanda. I might be biased

412
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Speaker 2: because we share a name. Lol. I proposed to my

413
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Speaker 2: husband with an apple.

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Speaker 3: I love that. I love all the food proposals. Thank you.

415
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 3: I have a difficult time with taking things too literally,

416
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,720
Speaker 3: trusting a lot, et cetera in the grand scheme of things.

417
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Speaker 3: We have not been together for so long or for long,

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Speaker 3: so I understand if you didn't know that about me entirely.

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Speaker 4: So she said, I understand if he didn't know that

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Speaker 4: about me entirely.

421
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,120
Speaker 3: Yes, that she was like gulible.

422
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 4: So you hear the continuing blame on the narrative, the

423
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:29,439
Speaker 4: self blame and self hate and low self esteem. And

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Speaker 4: that's a shame.

425
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Speaker 3: Because I don't think it's your fault at all, And I.

426
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Speaker 4: Think, yeah, I don't either. I don't either.

427
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think he's starting to take some blame, but

428
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 3: I think she's still putting a lot of it on herself.

429
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Speaker 4: She is very unnecessarily Yeah.

430
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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like a gaslighty thing to say, like, I'm sorry,

431
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Speaker 5: I didn't know you were that global. Yeah.

432
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, and he knows that she'll accept that as truth because.

433
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 3: She knows her enough to know that. Yeah, she'll put

434
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 3: in herself. Yeah, but that is the end of that story.

435
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 4: H Yes, but we don't really know what happened. Yeah,

436
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,199
Speaker 4: do you want to know my guests, Yeah, let's hear it.

437
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 4: She forgave him and she's still with him. Yeah, and

438
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,480
Speaker 4: everything is the same.

439
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I agree. I think because she has

440
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 3: not I don't know in this moment and after she's

441
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 3: still putting the blame on herself. I feel like she

442
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,400
Speaker 3: she's not in the headspace to like stand up for herself.

443
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,959
Speaker 4: Yeah. I don't know if it's just that she's not

444
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:33,879
Speaker 4: in the headspace, it's I mean, I heard some several

445
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:39,040
Speaker 4: low self esteem comments through that, like bashing, and he

446
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 4: knew that she has those issues and then he fed

447
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 4: off of it. That's really sad. She could do some coaching.

448
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 3: I was about to say, do you ever pop that

449
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,600
Speaker 3: girl right up? Yeah? Do you ever have clients who

450
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 3: are Worthy's sister? Yeah, you are Worthy. We'll Sendy's comments in.

451
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 3: Did you ever have clients come in who are like

452
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,199
Speaker 3: talking down about themselves and you kind of have to Yeah, yes,

453
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,679
Speaker 3: you know, boost that self esteem. Listen, how do you

454
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 3: do that?

455
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,719
Speaker 4: You will not find the relationship that you are seeking,

456
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,760
Speaker 4: like that healthy, wonderful, beautiful relationship that you are seeking

457
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,760
Speaker 4: if you do not have love for yourself. Yes, because

458
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 4: you have to love yourself first in order to give

459
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,639
Speaker 4: pieces of you to someone else. Airplane analogy, you have

460
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 4: to put your mask on and have your own oxygen

461
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,479
Speaker 4: before you can save others.

462
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree. I also think Yeah, I think people

463
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,000
Speaker 3: are attracted to confidence. Yeah, And I think like a

464
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 3: lot of people get in their head and they're like, well,

465
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,439
Speaker 3: I'm not pretty enough or I'm not this enough, and

466
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 3: you know, blah blah blah. I think when you're confident,

467
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,920
Speaker 3: and it's hard to get to that point. But if

468
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:47,160
Speaker 3: you like, yeah, you know, project confidence, people love. It

469
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,439
Speaker 3: doesn't matter what you look like.

470
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 4: Yeah you Also, I mean there are like free things

471
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,159
Speaker 4: out there too that you can do, like where you

472
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 4: can start learning things about yourself and your personality types

473
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 4: and doing like sometime yes like Meyers Briggs and Enneagram

474
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 4: and really getting down to who am I? And reading

475
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,879
Speaker 4: the Five Love Languages book What is my love language?

476
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,439
Speaker 4: And does my partner speak that love language to me?

477
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,680
Speaker 4: And can I start learning to speak my partners love

478
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 4: language and really learning more about you? And this is

479
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 4: for people who either can't afford or don't have time

480
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 4: for things like therapy or coaching, because not everybody has

481
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:27,440
Speaker 4: that luxury. But there are these free things online and

482
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 4: YouTube and other social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok,

483
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 4: and you can go on there and you can really

484
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 4: learn a lot from these different areas. And I think

485
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,440
Speaker 4: that that's something that she definitely needs to do because

486
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,920
Speaker 4: she's gonna have to find herself worth.

487
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I looked for an update. This is a pretty

488
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 2: fresh story, so like that most recent update is about

489
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:50,880
Speaker 2: nine ten days ago.

490
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 4: Do you tell people when you pull them and showcase.

491
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 3: There if it's someone from our suburdy Yes, but oftentimes

492
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 3: we find these from all different subreddeits.

493
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 2: But sometimes we check. Sometimes they they're literally we got

494
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 2: say we got a story from like a month ago,

495
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:08,639
Speaker 2: and we like what it ends on a cliffhanger, let's check. Yeah,

496
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,159
Speaker 2: sometimes there will be an update that's pretty fresh that

497
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 2: we will we will pull it. It's not in the story,

498
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,880
Speaker 2: but we'll pull it and we'll read it and see

499
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 2: if there's anything relevant or if there's like something quick

500
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 2: or something like it TOAYD be like, oh they broke up. Okay,

501
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 2: we'll say that.

502
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 4: So if if this woman happens to come across this

503
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,880
Speaker 4: and knows that, like we read this and went through

504
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 4: this and picked this apart, and you have broken up

505
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 4: with that guy, you can contact me and I will

506
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 4: help you through this.

507
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 2: Look at that.

508
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I have got you, Amanda has you?

509
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 4: I have got you.

510
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 3: But that was the end of that story. We've got

511
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 3: another one come and ride up.

512
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 2: I think we have one question before we get to

513
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,560
Speaker 2: the next story, coming from d red Oh for question

514
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 2: for the guest, Can you have more than one love language?

515
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 4: Yes, you can. And a lot of those tests, like

516
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 4: if you do an online love language test, then they'll

517
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 4: give you percentages. It's like your love language percentage breakdown.

518
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 4: So you might be like, you know, forty five percent

519
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 4: words of affirmation in fifty five percent gifts. Yeah, and

520
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 4: so that's really close to being about even right, So absolutely,

521
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:21,520
Speaker 4: I think that that's very possible. Like I said, guys,

522
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,640
Speaker 4: it's the it's theoretical, but I think it's really cool.

523
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, can you be like one hundred

524
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,679
Speaker 2: percent in multiple categories, like one hundred percent you know,

525
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 2: gift giving one hundred percent percent?

526
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,159
Speaker 4: That's like those people you hear this a lot with

527
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,679
Speaker 4: like younger people or kids, where they're like.

528
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 3: I'm going to give it one hundred and ten percent.

529
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,159
Speaker 4: I'm like, that's actually impossible, not how it.

530
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 2: Were our limits.

531
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we're going to get into this next stoor.

532
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:45,400
Speaker 4: Okay, can't wait.

533
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:49,159
Speaker 3: My friend loyalty tested my wife and I'm done with

534
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 3: both of them.

535
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 4: Sounds like a good friend.

536
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 3: Ben with my wife ten years, married for six I

537
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 3: thought we were really happy. She's got a kid from

538
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,760
Speaker 3: a previous relationship. Dad not in the picture. I have

539
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 3: taken on the role. We both work me full time,

540
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 3: her part time. We live a good life, holiday abroad

541
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:13,200
Speaker 3: every few months, every few months, okay, no real financial worries.

542
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:15,880
Speaker 3: Both in pretty good shape and plenty of love, affection

543
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 3: and spicy sleep between us. I thought we'd be together forever.

544
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Throwaway Friend Test and

545
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 3: if you want to smit your own stories, go to

546
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay, storytime separate it. I'm Sophia.

547
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 4: I am Amanda.

548
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 2: I'm Keon with Vincent and we have a special guest here. Amanda,

549
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,640
Speaker 2: please go ahead and introduce yourself and thanks for being here.

550
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,719
Speaker 4: I am Amanda Hood. I am CEO and founder of

551
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 4: the Krush Confidential, the nation's only full service relationship creation agency.

552
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 4: I live in Ohio, but we service clients nationwide.

553
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,679
Speaker 3: And Amanda's gonna help us read and give his advice

554
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 3: on the stores today. Can't wait and Op says on

555
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 3: to my friend. His wife left him in horrific circumstances

556
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 3: last year. He came home one day to find her

557
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 3: gone with their two year old. Ooh, she's left him

558
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 3: to do a substance dealer she met on Instagram who

559
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 3: ended up attacking them both and it's a massive legal

560
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 3: issue that's destroyed him. Well, since then, he's become very

561
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,919
Speaker 3: anti woman, despite having a great family full of women.

562
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:18,919
Speaker 3: Concerning he's constantly telling us how all women are the same. Well,

563
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 3: last week he sent me a load of screenshots, must

564
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 3: have been over a hundred of them going back to

565
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 3: November last year and finishing on January fifteenth. He got

566
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 3: another phone and started messaging my wife, pretending to be

567
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 3: a man from a couple of hours away who got

568
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 3: the wrong number. Within a week, he was getting spicy

569
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 3: picks from her, spicy texts, et cetera. By Christmas, she

570
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:45,480
Speaker 3: was telling him she was in love with him, and

571
00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 3: the final one was a photo of her walking into

572
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 3: a hotel to meet him, and then angry messages from

573
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,200
Speaker 3: her asking where he was juveny.

574
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 4: Thoughts I have so many things?

575
00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, same.

576
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 4: This doesn't sound like he was testing anything. This isn't

577
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 4: like fate.

578
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like he has his own issues, But

579
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 3: it sounds like he also successfully proved that your wife

580
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 3: is a cheater.

581
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 4: Let me just make sure that I'm clear on it.

582
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 4: The text messages were coming from the friend yes to

583
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:20,200
Speaker 4: the wife yes. And he was supposedly in woman hate mode.

584
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 4: Uh huh. And he was supposedly testing the wife. Yeah, okay,

585
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 4: that's all I yeah, that's all ie mm hmm. He

586
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 4: wasn't testing the wife. He wasn't like helping out his bro.

587
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 4: He chose hose over bros. That's what actually happened. He

588
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 4: decided that he felt a little chemistry, because this is

589
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 4: what men do. He felt a little like, hmmm, I

590
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 4: think I could sleep with her. And when he solidified

591
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 4: that he could, he started working on her. It's the

592
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 4: form of grooming. And she took the bait and then

593
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 4: she went with it and decided that she was going

594
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 4: to do it. She was going to take the plunge.

595
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 3: I fully agree, especially because it didn't stop when he

596
00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 3: got the spicy picks.

597
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 4: Well, he didn't tell his friend yes that he was

598
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 4: doing this? Correct, Am I right about that?

599
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,120
Speaker 3: No? Yeah? Yeah, you're right right, you're right.

600
00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, So he wasn't testing anything.

601
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,159
Speaker 3: Because if he was testing, he would have come to

602
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 3: even if he did it before asking Ope, yeah, you

603
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 3: would have come to op and said, hey, I thought

604
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 3: your wife was up to something, and so I sent

605
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:23,239
Speaker 3: these texts and she was into it, But no, he was.

606
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 3: It seems like sending I don't know, it could be wrong,

607
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,920
Speaker 3: but it seems like she was sending tippicks and he

608
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 3: was sending back, or at least spicy texting back. Yeah, which, yeah,

609
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 3: I agree. Feels like he was into the cheating.

610
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 4: By the way, women never guys, listen to me. Women

611
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 4: never ever want pictures of your wieners.

612
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:44,479
Speaker 3: That's true.

613
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 4: Women don't like Wiener pictures.

614
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 2: Only my friends want pictures.

615
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 4: Hey, my friend May who's a matchmaker, might be on

616
00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:53,560
Speaker 4: this podcast listening. She has said, Men, if you are

617
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 4: considering sending a a Wiener pic, send a picture of

618
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 4: your dog instead.

619
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, unless someone specifically asks you for a picture,

620
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 3: you don't.

621
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 4: Even if they ask you for a picture, they don't

622
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:07,680
Speaker 4: want a picture of that.

623
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 3: Ye, unless they're specific about that.

624
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 4: They don't want that.

625
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 3: They don't want it.

626
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:11,959
Speaker 4: Nobody wants that.

627
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 3: Yeah. I went round to his house and was distraught.

628
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 3: He told me he'd done this to another six friends

629
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 3: of ours. You need to stop being friends with this guy.

630
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 3: And also maybe divorce your wife, only my wife failed geez.

631
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 3: He had the phone with him, and as I was there,

632
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 3: she messaged him, asking where he'd gone and saying how

633
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 3: much she misses him. He's shown me stuff that she'd

634
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 3: been sending like that the past week with no response.

635
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 3: I left there without really saying anything and went home,

636
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 3: and once me and my wife were alone, I confronted

637
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,240
Speaker 3: her with the evidence I have. She started crying and

638
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 3: say she doesn't know why she did it, and it

639
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 3: just started off as a bit of fun at work

640
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 3: and then she got carried away. She said, she feels

641
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 3: like she loves us both and doesn't want to lose me.

642
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 3: Loves us both.

643
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 4: Wait, what.

644
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 3: She's not, Yeah, that's gonna be saying she loves him,

645
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 3: loves a guy that she never met, and it's just

646
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 3: been spicy texting.

647
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 4: And something's off there. Something's off there.

648
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 3: That's why I kind of believe your theory.

649
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 4: Of yeah, there was a plan already. Yeah there was

650
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 4: something behind this.

651
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 3: Yeah.

652
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 4: I almost wonder if the other guy, the friend, was

653
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 4: he married or in a relationship.

654
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, he said, so that's what happened. He had like

655
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 3: a super bad tremata.

656
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 4: But they were broken up. Right, Yeah, Like he was single, Yeah,

657
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 4: he was in women he hate mode and single, Yes,

658
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 4: but I wonder if he had other women also that

659
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 4: thought that they may have been in a relationship with him.

660
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,600
Speaker 4: The reason I'm saying this is because there's a reason

661
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 4: he didn't show up at that hotel. Yeah yeah, and

662
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 4: and like get the bank, there's a reason that he

663
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 4: didn't get to that point.

664
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 3: I don't trust so was he caught.

665
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 4: He wanted so desperately to like come clean and be

666
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 4: the good guy before her. He wanted to put himself

667
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 4: in a position of I did this for you, and

668
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 4: I'm the good guy, and I caught her. Bro I

669
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:02,320
Speaker 4: cut her.

670
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 3: I mean, like, if you can bear it, I would

671
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 3: want to ask her more questions about what was going

672
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 3: on because I don't trust him. I didn't know what

673
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,000
Speaker 3: to do, so just left and went to a hotel.

674
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 3: I'm still here now and unsure of what my next

675
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 3: step should be. I want to cut them both off,

676
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 3: but I will miss my stepdaughter so much. And my

677
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 3: friends are saying I can't be mad at my friend

678
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 3: as he did me a favor. Yeah, you could absolutely

679
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 3: be mad at him.

680
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 4: This is dist ask him to do it. Well, there

681
00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 4: should have been a discussion there.

682
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 3: What this is weird? Comments from Proud Zone says, I

683
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 3: read all your comments and you never said in detail

684
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 3: what your wife said when you told her how your

685
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 3: friend catfished her. What was her reaction anything besides just crying?

686
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,040
Speaker 3: Was their disbelief or comments? As she continued to try

687
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 3: to contact you, and OP says, she started having a

688
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 3: kind of panic attack and calling herself stupid. Then she

689
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,719
Speaker 3: said it doesn't count then and I told her her

690
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 3: blood he did. She had tried to contact me loads

691
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 3: of time every day, no doubt. Says, Well, that's a

692
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 3: crap thing that your friend did, but it's more concerning

693
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 3: that your wife fell for it. She was going to

694
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 3: sleep with this stranger, and to top it off, she's

695
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 3: the only one that fell for it out of the

696
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:15,120
Speaker 3: other wives. I will leave it at that. I would

697
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 3: love to be a fly on the wall when she

698
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 3: finds out your friend catfishter Well, I th he surety knows.

699
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,400
Speaker 3: Op says, I think I could get past it if

700
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 3: it was just texting, but I can't get past the

701
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 3: going to meet him. I can't see U says, yeah, dude,

702
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 3: as a caveat you're kind of lucky it was your

703
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 3: crap for a friend, but checking the stats, this woman

704
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 3: would have fully gone through with it had there been

705
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 3: someone there, and still could with a new fling. Cut

706
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 3: your losses and ditch both. Missus Sem says, divorce the

707
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 3: cheating wife and drop the woman aiding friend before dating again,

708
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,560
Speaker 3: or he'll do this to you over and over. Ohpi says,

709
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,520
Speaker 3: I think this is the only way I can move on.

710
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 3: Lucid Dream says, I just can't stop thinking about the

711
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 3: level of effort your friend went through to do this.

712
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 3: He got another phone, this whole scheme for months, trying

713
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 3: to get spicy picks of his friend's wives manipulate her

714
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 3: like how sick. As for your wife, I think a

715
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 3: divorce is justified. Trust is broken. Unfortunately, this will hurt

716
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 3: your stepdaughter. You can maintain a relationship with her, but

717
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 3: who knows what her mother will tell her about the

718
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 3: reason for divorce. You will likely lose her to I'm

719
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 3: so sorry your friend is garbage and I would cut

720
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 3: him off first, and OP says, yeah, but he wants

721
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 3: to prove all women are bad, even though most people

722
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,240
Speaker 3: are good. I'm not stating I'm leaving both of them behind.

723
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 3: For good. My stepdaughter is fifteen and there is an

724
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 3: update three days later. Any other thoughts before we jump

725
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 3: into that.

726
00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 4: I don't know if this is going to be popular

727
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 4: to say, but I know that a lot of the

728
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 4: comments were like, oh yeah, dumper or lever divorce er.

729
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 4: I don't know if I would be so quick to

730
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:57,720
Speaker 4: do that, because I feel like maybe we should take

731
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 4: a step back and talk about something like counseling, because

732
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 4: first of all, there was something absent in that marriage,

733
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 4: because his friend was able to manipulate her and draw

734
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 4: her to him based off of a void that was

735
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 4: in her marriage. Now he can say we were so

736
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 4: happy and everything was great, but that's his perspective. I'm

737
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 4: not saying, you know, she's the necessarily like the victim here,

738
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 4: but potentially because there are some really crazy men out

739
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 4: there that can manipulate women and make them promises and

740
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 4: do all of these things, I would almost question like

741
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:40,399
Speaker 4: giving her an opportunity to again reverse it, make it right,

742
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 4: talk with her about counseling if he really does want

743
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:46,280
Speaker 4: to stick out the marriage and see how things progress,

744
00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:51,319
Speaker 4: because I don't know, it's just so strange and there's

745
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 4: no way like that guy where he said he put

746
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 4: in so much effort getting the extra phone and then

747
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 4: dragging this on for months. I am just I can

748
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 4: guarantee you, Sophia, this is not the only woman. He

749
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 4: was doing this too well.

750
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 3: I mean they already said, oh, I think he is

751
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 3: absolutely very weird for this. And concerning yes, in terms

752
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 3: of like trying to work through it, I think typically,

753
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 3: at least from the stories we read, I feel like

754
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,280
Speaker 3: they both have to be on the same page about

755
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 3: that and so page, and they're both like, she says,

756
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:26,520
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, I you know, fully take accountability, and

757
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,479
Speaker 3: then he's like, you know, I'm hurt and I don't

758
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 3: trust you right now, but I want to work towards that.

759
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 3: Then maybe yeah, but it takes a lot of effort

760
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 3: on both sides.

761
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 4: It does.

762
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 3: But we got an update three days later. Hey, y'all,

763
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:38,799
Speaker 3: it's John og Host here.

764
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 5: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's a

765
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 5: quick three minute break from As for more sponsors, I.

766
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 3: Want to thank everyone who commented on my last post.

767
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 3: There were so many I couldn't reply to them all.

768
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 3: I'll address a couple of things from my first post.

769
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 3: A lot of people said my wife did nothing wrong.

770
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 3: Who was saying that she went to a hotel to

771
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 3: me and another man for spicy sleep. There are photos

772
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 3: of her at the hotel waiting. She messaged saying she

773
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 3: was there and I purposely haven't had spicy sleep with

774
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 3: ope for ages, so when I get my hands on you,

775
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 3: I'll be ripping your clothes off on my own. Then

776
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 3: messages of her asking where he is, and even a

777
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 3: week later when he stopped replying, saying she misses him,

778
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 3: and pictures of herself saying how much she still wants him.

779
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 3: A few people said my friend wasn't catfishing her, and

780
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,520
Speaker 3: he was sending photos of himself, and she knew my

781
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 3: friend is white and dumpy. The pictures were of a

782
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 3: black adult film star, stolen from his Twitter. Now on

783
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 3: to the update. First, and most importantly, I met my

784
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 3: stepdaughter yesterday. We met at a park and when we

785
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,120
Speaker 3: saw each other, we both started crying and just hugged

786
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 3: for five minutes. Every memory of her from when I

787
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 3: first met her went through my head and I didn't

788
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:48,240
Speaker 3: want to let her go for fear of never hugging

789
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 3: her again. We sat on a park bench and the

790
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 3: first thing she asked is what happened. She's fifteen, and

791
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,760
Speaker 3: I didn't see a reason a lie. I don't agree

792
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:00,560
Speaker 3: with that approach because it's not your do it's like

793
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 3: your stepdaughter, and I'm sure you have a really good

794
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 3: relationship with her. But I do think you should have.

795
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:07,839
Speaker 4: A conversation with you as your mother.

796
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 3: I think, at the very least, if you're worried that

797
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 3: her mom would like shift the story, I think you

798
00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 3: should talk to her and say, hey, I want to

799
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 3: talk with your daughter about this and tell her what's

800
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,279
Speaker 3: going on, or this is what I'm going to tell her.

801
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 4: There should have been an opportunity.

802
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I said, her mom got catfished and she fell

803
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 3: for it, and it's been having an online affair for

804
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,279
Speaker 3: a few months, and told another man she loved him.

805
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 3: I left out the spicy picks and hotel bit. My

806
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 3: stepdaughter said her mom has told her that all she

807
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 3: had done was message an old friend, and I got jealous,

808
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 3: but she said she knew it wasn't like that, and

809
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 3: her aunt wife's sister. I told her that her mom

810
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 3: had cheated and I'd done nothing wrong. I told her

811
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 3: I have hundreds of screenshots, but I won't show them. Well, yeah,

812
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:52,680
Speaker 3: please don't show them too.

813
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 4: But I won't show them good.

814
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 3: She begged to see one so she could know. Yeah,

815
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 3: we're not. We shouldn't show that. We don't need her

816
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 3: to like see her mom doing this horrible thing. We

817
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 3: don't need that. I tried to find a non spicy

818
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,759
Speaker 3: one and showed her one where her mom said, I

819
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,399
Speaker 3: love you more after ten weeks than I do him

820
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 3: after ten years.

821
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 4: Did he even mention that she was catfish? Yehy his friend?

822
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 3: I don't think he said the friend.

823
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 4: I think that that's an important part to bring up it. Yeah,

824
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,840
Speaker 4: I don't know, it's not just her, like there was

825
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:27,240
Speaker 4: another person to blame.

826
00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I feel like maybe the stepdaughter didn't really

827
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 3: care about the friend being involved.

828
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 4: I mean, he want to decide to tell the story.

829
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, my stepdaughter was as horrified as I was and

830
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 3: just said, oh my god. After that, we sat and

831
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,479
Speaker 3: talked for a couple of hours about everything. She said

832
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 3: she still wants me as part of her life, and

833
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 3: when I got my own place, she'll be over all

834
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:49,240
Speaker 3: the time. She said, I'm still her dad and always Wilby.

835
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 3: Even after I told her I planned to divorce her mom,

836
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,960
Speaker 3: she said her Auntie and her grandma both encouraged her

837
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 3: to stay in touch with me because she told them

838
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,799
Speaker 3: she was scared. I didn't want her anymore. I said,

839
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 3: nothing could be further from the truth. I gave her

840
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,720
Speaker 3: a lift back home, and we've been texting non stops

841
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,160
Speaker 3: and sending stupid videos to each other. And she said

842
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 3: her grandma said we can use her kitchen to bake

843
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 3: together again, so we're doing that later today. As for

844
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 3: my wife and my friend, I've told my wife I

845
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 3: want a divorce, which caused a barrage of texts and

846
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 3: phone calls. I ignored. I've told my friend I want

847
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 3: low contact with him, but I did ask why he

848
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:28,319
Speaker 3: didn't stop once he got the spicy picks, and he said,

849
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 3: because you don't get jealous. And I thought you'd probably

850
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,759
Speaker 3: just find it funny. Oh, I don't believe that. Yeah,

851
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 3: I don't believe that, which is probably true. I don't

852
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 3: think I think that you're excusing his behavior a little bit.

853
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 3: I mean, even though you're going low contact, I still

854
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 3: I think he is bad in different ways than your wife.

855
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,680
Speaker 3: Like your wife is bad because she betrayed you and

856
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 3: like cheated on you. Yeah, but you know he also

857
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 3: betrayed you. He's just not in a relationship with you,

858
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 3: so you might see it differently. Yeah, if she told

859
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,439
Speaker 3: me a wrong number was texting, I probably would say

860
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,920
Speaker 3: flirt with it for a laugh. Hellowell. I do get

861
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 3: people's point though, when they say I shouldn't be mad

862
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 3: at him, because if what who was saying this? What

863
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 3: who was saying? We shouldn't be mad at him?

864
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, he blew up your marriage? Yeah, just her fear

865
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 5: you didn't ask him to do this independent study.

866
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, we don't know this husband's personality type. Maybe he

867
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 4: put in very little to no effort into his marriage

868
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 4: because he seems to I don't know, he's very he's

869
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:33,320
Speaker 4: being very oddly nonchalant. I also question if the wife

870
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:39,000
Speaker 4: and the friend had something already there, already in existence.

871
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:41,880
Speaker 3: I yeah, I kind of. I'm wondering about that.

872
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 4: I mean, she knew him, right, he had a relationship

873
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 4: of some kind, he.

874
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:50,359
Speaker 3: Was around, but he did target her insecurities. He knew

875
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,919
Speaker 3: she was insecure about her height and said, first time

876
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 3: I finally meet an Amazonian woman at a bar and

877
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:57,880
Speaker 3: we have a good time. She gives me a false

878
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 3: number and he knows she's struggle with having an athletic build,

879
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 3: and he mentioned his ideal woman would be tall and

880
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 3: strong built, and how he doesn't get the trend for

881
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 3: short women with big chests and bums. But at the

882
00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:14,320
Speaker 3: same time, she's an affing detective for the police force

883
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,240
Speaker 3: and should have recognized she was being plain.

884
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 4: What about that?

885
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,880
Speaker 3: What she's a detective. Sorry, it's not an exciting update.

886
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 3: Unk Fest says, thank you for loving that little girl

887
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 3: the best way you can. It's not her fault. My

888
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:30,799
Speaker 3: heart hurts for her and for you. Opie says, it's

889
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:33,880
Speaker 3: not our tolever. She's incredible. My life is better with

890
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 3: her in it. Much Leather says, question, never heard of

891
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 3: being a part time You mentioned she doesn't work full

892
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,759
Speaker 3: time detective in the police force. Is that a thing

893
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 3: in your country? And op says yeah, she mainly does

894
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 3: desk work now she does three full days a week.

895
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 3: She's in anti corruption now so investigates other officers. Much

896
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 3: Leather says, well, that's just embarrassing. Good board. If her

897
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 3: stupidity gets out in her workplace, she won't have a

898
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 3: shred of credit. Already a boys club. My friend was

899
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,959
Speaker 3: a detective and she ended up quitting because her full

900
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:09,239
Speaker 3: time hours with a massive overtime on cases meant she

901
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:13,200
Speaker 3: hardly saw her kids thanks seeing too many unlive little

902
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 3: ones also was a factor. After becoming a mom, she

903
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,320
Speaker 3: could compartmentalize to a point before Opie says Yeatt to

904
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 3: be fair to her, she's seen some horrendous stuff and

905
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 3: a few years ago got injured in a car crash

906
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 3: at work and has been part time and office bound

907
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 3: since She's physically okay, and has said to me as

908
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 3: she used it as an excuse and reason to take

909
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 3: a step back until her twenty five years are up.

910
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story. I don't

911
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 3: think this relationship or your friendship should continue.

912
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 4: I think there's a lot of pieces we don't know

913
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:46,080
Speaker 4: about this story.

914
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:49,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, actually I agree. I do not trust that guy,

915
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,080
Speaker 3: regardless of like whether or not you figure, you know,

916
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 3: your marriage out or something which I don't think will happen. Yeah,

917
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 3: I think you seem like you're gonna divorce for the

918
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:03,680
Speaker 3: you know, rightly so, but I think that low contact

919
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,439
Speaker 3: maybe not enough for this friend. I think I would

920
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,879
Speaker 3: go no contact with a guy who did something like this.

921
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 4: Well technically, I mean, yeah, what she should have done

922
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 4: is She should have said something to her husband the

923
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 4: moment that it started, like getting a little odd, a

924
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 4: little inappropriate over text. She should have shut it down,

925
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 4: Sir John, to shut it down, and she chose not

926
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,839
Speaker 4: to shut it down because she liked it. She should

927
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 4: have shared these things with her husband. She should have

928
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 4: talked with him, and she should have shared what was

929
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 4: happening with him. But the friend shouldn't have done anything

930
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 4: like that to begin with. So I just question if

931
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 4: it's even really real. I wonder if that poor husband

932
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 4: is just getting pieces of that story because he's not

933
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:45,360
Speaker 4: really getting the full truth.

934
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,239
Speaker 3: I some a lot of lie I'm going on here,

935
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,400
Speaker 3: But we've got some red flag green flag questions.

936
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 4: Oh how fun?

937
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh fun? Okay, Amanda, before we do the red

938
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 3: flag green flag, do you want to introduce yourself again?

939
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 4: My name is Amanda, and I'm VIP matchmaker and owner

940
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:07,959
Speaker 4: of the Crush Confidential www dot the crush confidential dot

941
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 4: com and I live in Ohio. Oh. My agency serves

942
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 4: people singles nationwide.

943
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 3: And a man is gonna help us answer these red

944
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:20,600
Speaker 3: flag green flag questions. Ready, all right, let's see what

945
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 3: we got.

946
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

947
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

948
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 3: Red Flag, Green Flag, My date, Well, do you know

949
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 3: it's pretty straightforward, but you know you're gonna give a

950
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:32,879
Speaker 3: green flag if you think it's okay in a red

951
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:33,719
Speaker 3: flag don't.

952
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's true.

953
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 3: Or you could do beies flag or I commit, which

954
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 3: is just both.

955
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:38,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

956
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, my date told me he rates every first date

957
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:47,880
Speaker 3: afterward on a spreadsheet. Categories include conversation quality, physical attraction, vibe,

958
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:51,320
Speaker 3: and long term potential. He's been doing this for two years.

959
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 4: What yes, are you kidding me? That sounds like an engineer.

960
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 4: This sounds like a data driven man. This is fabulous.

961
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 4: That's a huge.

962
00:45:00,600 --> 00:45:03,280
Speaker 3: I don't think that that's like a problem.

963
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 4: I think that's great. I think that's like, yeah, it's fabulous.

964
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, Red Flag, Green Flag asking to have joint social

965
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 3: media profiles, two of us sharing one account unmarried. It

966
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 3: doesn't say I guess you can have two answers for uh,

967
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 3: one for unmarried and one for not.

968
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna do both flags on this, Yeah, because

969
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:24,920
Speaker 4: I think if somebody is requesting that and you are,

970
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 4: you either a are already like you know, older people

971
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:31,800
Speaker 4: with your own social media accounts, and then you're getting

972
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 4: together and being together or being married and you want

973
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 4: to combine accounts. That's weird, yeah, and not acceptable. That

974
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 4: would be red flag. But if only one of you

975
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 4: has social media and the other one's like, oh, I

976
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 4: should get on social media, but I don't really care

977
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 4: about it so much, and you're like, you can join

978
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,800
Speaker 4: nine green flag. And if let's say neither one of

979
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 4: you really give a crap about social media, but you

980
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:53,359
Speaker 4: own a business together and you know that you need

981
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:55,640
Speaker 4: it in order to make money and do marketing, then

982
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:56,719
Speaker 4: green flag.

983
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes sense. I think it's situational red flag.

984
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:02,879
Speaker 3: Green flag. He suggested we go watch the sunset from

985
00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 3: a hilltop and spent the entire walk up talking about

986
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,800
Speaker 3: how his ex used to hate being outdoors on repeat

987
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,280
Speaker 3: for thirty minutes. That's very specific.

988
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 4: Okay, still mixed flags, and I'll tell you why it's

989
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 4: red flag that he's like talking about the X. But

990
00:46:18,239 --> 00:46:20,520
Speaker 4: poor guy, he probably hasn't had any coaching and learned

991
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 4: that you shouldn't talk about the yet like that. But

992
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:26,720
Speaker 4: green flag because he's saying, wow, you're so much better

993
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 4: than she was. Because I'm outdoorsy and I love being

994
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 4: outside and I'm so happy that you're enjoying this too. Yeah,

995
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 4: so there's a green flag.

996
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 3: Maybe coming from a good place, but yeah, maybe don't

997
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,160
Speaker 3: bring up your ex so much. Red flag, green flag.

998
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 3: He brought his laptop to our first date because he

999
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 3: said he might need to work later, and actually opened

1000
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 3: it twice during dinner to check his emails.

1001
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 4: Oh that's a red flag.

1002
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:54,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, ooh, that's rough. Not okay, m mmmm, it should

1003
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 3: not focused on you, yikes. Red flag, green flag. We

1004
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 3: matched on an app and she sent me a full

1005
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 3: background check she ran on herself before our first date. Unprompted,

1006
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 3: said she does it for every first date she goes

1007
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:10,399
Speaker 3: on and thinks every guy should too.

1008
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 4: Kind of weird, but a green flag, like that's the

1009
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 4: girl who has condoms.

1010
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:18,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess. So that's just it's interesting to run

1011
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:22,239
Speaker 3: a background check on yourself and not the person that

1012
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 3: you're going on a date with.

1013
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,240
Speaker 4: I think it's lovely that she saved them the time, energy,

1014
00:47:26,320 --> 00:47:28,240
Speaker 4: and money that a background check costs.

1015
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 3: She's like, here you go, this is my file, learn it,

1016
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 3: memorize it, and maybe we'll go on another date.

1017
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,839
Speaker 4: And then it becomes socially acceptable when I run one

1018
00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 4: on you.

1019
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 3: Yea, yes, exactly, Red flag, green flag. She told me

1020
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 3: she values honesty more than anything in a relationship. But

1021
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 3: when I asked her how many people she dated before me,

1022
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,960
Speaker 3: she literally laughed and said, why would I tell you that? Uh?

1023
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:52,920
Speaker 4: I guess that's kind of a red flag. But I

1024
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:55,120
Speaker 4: don't know why he asks that at all.

1025
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think that's like a marker of honesty.

1026
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,120
Speaker 4: I think it's okay for her to be like, why

1027
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 4: would you ask that question? I don't think that that's

1028
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 4: necessarily a bad thing that she's wondering. Why are you

1029
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 4: asking me that? What is the purpose of that question? Yeah?

1030
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:11,120
Speaker 3: I would say that's kind of beige for me. Yeah,

1031
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:14,839
Speaker 3: just because it's she's not lying to you, it's just

1032
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:16,600
Speaker 3: not typically the answer could.

1033
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:17,240
Speaker 4: Lead to judgment.

1034
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.

1035
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 4: So you believe that he's asking because he's judging whatever

1036
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 4: that answer is. Yeah, So I almost say, like, green flag, like,

1037
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 4: good for her for not directly answering it, because it's

1038
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 4: not really his business.

1039
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, red flag, green flag. She told me

1040
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 3: on our first date that she just got out of

1041
00:48:33,440 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 3: a long relationship and isn't looking for anything serious.

1042
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:40,880
Speaker 4: Uh okay, Green flag for honesty.

1043
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:43,560
Speaker 3: Yes, red flag for if you want a long time.

1044
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 4: Red flag for if you want something serious.

1045
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 5: At least she's honest.

1046
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:49,160
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1047
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:50,920
Speaker 4: Why do I feel like I'm doing a lot of

1048
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:52,879
Speaker 4: both flags for almost all of them?

1049
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 3: Like, ah, life is black and that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1050
00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 3: Shades of gray, shades of gray, fifty of them, red

1051
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 3: flat green flag. My date told me she doesn't care

1052
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,800
Speaker 3: about money or status, but the first thing she asked

1053
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 3: before agreeing to a date was what they do for

1054
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 3: a living.

1055
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:12,320
Speaker 4: That's fine.

1056
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:13,840
Speaker 3: I feel like that's a pretty common question.

1057
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, fine, that's just making conversations. Yeah, yeah, totally fine.

1058
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:20,360
Speaker 3: I think that's just yeah, it's pretty common.

1059
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 4: It's not like she was like, do you fly private?

1060
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like, what do you do for? Or do

1061
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,120
Speaker 3: you do coach? Because I just can't indeed coach? Red

1062
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 3: flat green flag. He always eats a snack in the

1063
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,280
Speaker 3: car before walking into every first date because he doesn't

1064
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 3: want to be too hungry and end up inhaling his

1065
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:39,400
Speaker 3: food in front of the other person. It sounds like

1066
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 3: me too, like me, so it's keep on a red flag.

1067
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:44,880
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't think that that's bad. But I

1068
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 4: think that that's just a personality thing. I think that

1069
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 4: that's just a hungry boy. I think that there are

1070
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 4: these like little idiosyncrasies that people have where they're like,

1071
00:49:55,320 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 4: I don't want to do that because I feel like

1072
00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 4: it's rude, and like my husband wouldn't travel with our

1073
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 4: children until the youngest was five because he worries about

1074
00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 4: people being concerned about screaming babies on planes. But I'm like,

1075
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:09,320
Speaker 4: I never care about a screaming baby on a plane.

1076
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 4: In fact, I like offer, like, do you need me

1077
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 4: to hold your baby? Like that's never bothered me, but

1078
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 4: since it bothered him, he had in his mind that

1079
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 4: other people would be bothered. Yeah, So I feel like

1080
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:21,720
Speaker 4: that's probably the same type of man that really cares

1081
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:26,080
Speaker 4: about other people's feelings and taking them into considerations. So

1082
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:27,360
Speaker 4: I don't think that that's a problem.

1083
00:50:27,360 --> 00:50:28,120
Speaker 3: But I agree.

1084
00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:31,279
Speaker 4: But I get excited to go to a restaurant and

1085
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 4: I want to pick out I do not snack before

1086
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 4: I get there. I like, don't eat the whole day

1087
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:38,400
Speaker 4: so that I can enjoy that meal.

1088
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:41,440
Speaker 3: But I get really like my friend jokes that I'm

1089
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:44,800
Speaker 3: always hungry, and so like when I get to restaurant

1090
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 3: and I am very hungry. I can't talk like people

1091
00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 3: are like trying to make conversation. I'm only thinking about food.

1092
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 3: So I do understand the desire to maybe have a

1093
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 3: little snack before.

1094
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:55,799
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm like a several course.

1095
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, there's an appetizer, there's salad, there's a dessert. Bread,

1096
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:04,480
Speaker 3: oh always bread as really quick. I did have a

1097
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 3: very funny experience the last day I was in Guatemala.

1098
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 3: We went to this like nice Italian restaurant and I'm

1099
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:13,240
Speaker 3: trying to speak yeah, okay, it was the only option.

1100
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:15,719
Speaker 3: We were in the city and there was the only option.

1101
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:18,320
Speaker 3: So I was with my friends and they only spoke

1102
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:20,319
Speaker 3: Spanish because we're in Guatemala and I know a little

1103
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:23,319
Speaker 3: bit of Spanish, and they give me my meal. I

1104
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 3: got this like muscle pasta and five of the muscles

1105
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 3: were not open, which felt like a lot of muscles

1106
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 3: to not be opened, because you're not supposed to eat

1107
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:33,960
Speaker 3: them unless they're like open, if anyone doesn't know that.

1108
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:37,800
Speaker 3: And so they come over and I haven't really finished

1109
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 3: my meal because there's these five unopened muscles and they're

1110
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 3: like like s the bienna. I'm like, oh, like sorado,

1111
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:48,799
Speaker 3: like it's closed as to why I wasn't eating and

1112
00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:52,240
Speaker 3: they're like oh like like so like they take it away,

1113
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 3: and my friends were like, what did you want to happen?

1114
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know. I was just saying it

1115
00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:00,440
Speaker 3: was closed, like that's why I wasn't eating them. And

1116
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 3: then U they were like, well, he's probably gonna come

1117
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,440
Speaker 3: back with them open, and I'm like, oh, I don't know.

1118
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 3: And so he comes back with a whole new plate

1119
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:11,800
Speaker 3: and I've already eaten my plate, and then I felt rude,

1120
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:12,959
Speaker 3: so I had to eat more.

1121
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:15,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, we know you have to then.

1122
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so I was trying to like shovel down

1123
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,799
Speaker 3: a whole new plate of pasta and that was mine.

1124
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:21,880
Speaker 4: But did you ask for a to go box? No?

1125
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 3: Because it was our last day? What was it go?

1126
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:25,200
Speaker 3: We were saying at the hostel.

1127
00:52:25,640 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 4: But they don't have to do.

1128
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:29,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, but I tried anyway. I did eat

1129
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 3: most of it.

1130
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 4: I could have given it a good for most of it.

1131
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:34,280
Speaker 3: Good for you. I don't like wasting food.

1132
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:37,239
Speaker 4: You were raised right, Yeah, but we got one more

1133
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:39,240
Speaker 4: red flag, green flag.

1134
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 3: He rereads the entire conversation history on the dating app

1135
00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 3: right before every first date, so we can reference things

1136
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:48,240
Speaker 3: naturally in person and make it seem like he actually

1137
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 3: remembers everything. This is me.

1138
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:53,280
Speaker 4: Well, okay, I say green flag. I think she worded

1139
00:52:53,320 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 4: that really rude. Yeah, that's rude. I think he's doing

1140
00:52:57,040 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 4: a good job by referencing your profile and gathering up

1141
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:04,439
Speaker 4: some talking points and knowing things to discuss and where

1142
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,719
Speaker 4: the two of you have commonalities. And then she like

1143
00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 4: shamed him and made fun of him for it. Yeah,

1144
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 4: she's actually not deserving of that guy.

1145
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,000
Speaker 3: I agree. I think he just like some people.

1146
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:13,440
Speaker 4: That's a green flag.

1147
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 3: I think it's a green flag. I think he's like,

1148
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 3: what did we talk about? I want to bring that up.

1149
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 3: I get that. I write notes down of like things

1150
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 3: that people bring up to me.

1151
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:25,480
Speaker 4: It shows that he cares about her interests and who

1152
00:53:25,520 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 4: she is.

1153
00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:28,719
Speaker 3: And I agree. But that's the end of our red

1154
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:31,880
Speaker 3: flag green flag section, and we've got another story.

1155
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:32,720
Speaker 4: Can't wait.

1156
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 3: I let an elite matchmaker set me up and it

1157
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 3: completely turned me off.

1158
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 4: Ah, oh I shouldn't, And this one was coming.

1159
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 3: I wanted to share my experience dating through an IRL

1160
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:47,360
Speaker 3: matchmaker from talking to my friends. It seems this is

1161
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 3: a reasonably common thing in some countries, but definitely not

1162
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 3: in the US, So hopefully it's kind of fun interesting.

1163
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 3: Slash gives you an idea of what it's like. By

1164
00:53:56,120 --> 00:53:58,880
Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Throwaway fifty eight thirty nine

1165
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:00,680
Speaker 3: to two, And if you want to smith year old stories,

1166
00:54:00,719 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay Storytime Separate. I'm Sophia,

1167
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:05,320
Speaker 3: I'm Amanda.

1168
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:07,480
Speaker 5: And I'm Vincent back here with Keon.

1169
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 3: And Amanda is our resident matchmaker today. Do you want

1170
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:13,279
Speaker 3: to give a little shpiel about who you are?

1171
00:54:13,480 --> 00:54:16,000
Speaker 4: I shall. My name is Amanda Hood. I'm CEO and

1172
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:20,160
Speaker 4: founder of the Krush Confidential www dot the crush Confidential

1173
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:25,440
Speaker 4: dot com. I live in Ohio, but we service singles nationwide,

1174
00:54:26,040 --> 00:54:27,399
Speaker 4: so go and check me out.

1175
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:30,880
Speaker 3: Yes, and Amanda's gonna help us with this matchmaking story.

1176
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 3: Ann Op says, I thirty mail am new to a

1177
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:38,760
Speaker 3: medium sized coastal American city. My experience with dating apps

1178
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:42,040
Speaker 3: slash meeting people through friends of friends has been pretty decent.

1179
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 3: But at the time I got involved with the IRL Matchmaker,

1180
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 3: I hadn't really found anyone I was super excited about

1181
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:52,920
Speaker 3: being with. I got a random unsolicited LinkedIn lol message

1182
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:57,759
Speaker 3: from a woman saying she represented unbelievably a matchmaker who

1183
00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:00,440
Speaker 3: had some exceptional women she'd like to int produce me

1184
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 3: to and asked whether I was interested in single? Is

1185
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:08,280
Speaker 3: this quick question something that you or your company does,

1186
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 3: like reach out to people?

1187
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:12,360
Speaker 4: Yes, this is quite common.

1188
00:55:12,560 --> 00:55:14,800
Speaker 3: Okay, I was wondering.

1189
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:18,440
Speaker 4: This is quite common, yeah, because well and LinkedIn is

1190
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:24,920
Speaker 4: a great platform to find professional singles, especially if he

1191
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:28,360
Speaker 4: said it was an elite matchmaking service, so that's going

1192
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 4: to be you know, high caliber, upper echelon single people

1193
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:36,160
Speaker 4: working professionals, so LinkedIn is actually a good platform to

1194
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:40,440
Speaker 4: find them. However, LinkedIn, unlike other socials like Facebook, for example,

1195
00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 4: it doesn't give relationships to datas now, so a lot

1196
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:46,879
Speaker 4: of times like so, if you have people who who

1197
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 4: work for you that help get on and find these

1198
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 4: great singles. Sometimes we call them recruiters. They do just

1199
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:58,400
Speaker 4: like talent acquisitions or headhunters for corporate agencies. It's basically

1200
00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 4: the exact same thing. LinkedIn is actually a wonderful platform

1201
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 4: to find high caliber single professionals.

1202
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:06,520
Speaker 3: So if you guys are single out there, have a

1203
00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 3: LinkedIn h this immediately set off Scammel arm bells. But

1204
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 3: I google the matchmaker woman and it turns out she

1205
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 3: runs a legit matchmaking business. The only problem was the

1206
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 3: feet fifty thousand dollars for two years of her service. Wow.

1207
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:25,319
Speaker 3: I told her I was single and looking, but unfortunately

1208
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:27,239
Speaker 3: not really in the market for a service at that

1209
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:30,239
Speaker 3: price point, what with bumble being free. The woman told

1210
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 3: me she understood, and actually they weren't looking for me

1211
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:36,839
Speaker 3: to be a paying customer. Rather, I was basically going

1212
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:39,880
Speaker 3: to be some guy she would set her paying customer

1213
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 3: women up with from time to time. Well, that seems

1214
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:47,200
Speaker 3: pretty good for you. So she's not like actually working

1215
00:56:47,239 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 3: to find you someone. You're just like the guy that

1216
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 3: she sets people up with.

1217
00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:55,239
Speaker 4: So this is also common practice in the industry. So

1218
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:58,720
Speaker 4: and I can just speak to like how my agency works.

1219
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:02,359
Speaker 4: But we have clients and we have members, and our

1220
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 4: clients come in they have like an aggressive dating approach.

1221
00:57:05,719 --> 00:57:08,480
Speaker 4: They pay us, they purchase a package, and we are

1222
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 4: consistently working on their behalf to find them great people

1223
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 4: for them to meet that are at the quality and

1224
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,919
Speaker 4: caliber of person that they are expecting. Right, we can't

1225
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:21,040
Speaker 4: guarantee you're going to find somebody's husband or wife because

1226
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:23,920
Speaker 4: I don't have a crystal ball, but they do expect

1227
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 4: a certain type of person that they're going to be meeting. Okay,

1228
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 4: then you have your members. These are people who are

1229
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 4: either they're probably never going to pay for matchmaking, or

1230
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 4: maybe they will five years down the road, who knows,

1231
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 4: but they are not in the market to hire a

1232
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 4: professional matchmaker. This is going to be the majority of

1233
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 4: a matchmaking company's database. It's going to be majority members,

1234
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:51,120
Speaker 4: small amount of clients, because not everybody is paying fifty

1235
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:53,760
Speaker 4: thousand dollars for two years of service, right which two

1236
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:55,680
Speaker 4: years is a very long time. I don't want a

1237
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 4: two year pack dage. But so those people, some matchmaking

1238
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:02,840
Speaker 4: coming's charge a fee to be in that database, in

1239
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:05,440
Speaker 4: that dating pool, and some matchmakers allow them to come

1240
00:58:05,440 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 4: in at no costs. I allow my members to come

1241
00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 4: in at no cost, and then I'm very diligent about

1242
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 4: scrubbing my database making sure that they're at the caliber

1243
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:15,440
Speaker 4: that we're expecting, because my clients aren't wanting to be

1244
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 4: put out with, like you know, a Walmart greeterer, and

1245
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 4: the thing is Walmart greeterers, but they're just not interested

1246
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 4: in those people. This is common. Okay, I'm curious to

1247
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:25,160
Speaker 4: see those. This is good to know what happens.

1248
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:29,280
Speaker 3: So far, so good. Yeah, still seemed a bit sketchy,

1249
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 3: but I figured, what's the worst that could happen? Free setups? Sure,

1250
00:58:32,920 --> 00:58:35,520
Speaker 3: so I said, okay, why not. She sent me over

1251
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,040
Speaker 3: a bunch of materials to fill out a form with

1252
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 3: my stats like age, education, job, income, wealth, debt, relationship goals,

1253
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:47,360
Speaker 3: preferences for a partner in terms of age, race, profession,

1254
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 3: income level, and so on. I also had to create

1255
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 3: a little bio about myself, and she sent me over

1256
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:55,720
Speaker 3: a few examples from her male paying clients. Oh boy,

1257
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:58,520
Speaker 3: this is when I started to get a better idea

1258
00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 3: of what was going on. Basically, all these guys were

1259
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:07,320
Speaker 3: super successful, had crazy interesting hobbies, traveled the world, et cetera,

1260
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:10,320
Speaker 3: et cetera. But in the writing and bios just came

1261
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:14,200
Speaker 3: across as very self obsessed. Tons of time spent talking

1262
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:17,320
Speaker 3: about how he's amazing, nothing about what he's like in

1263
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 3: a partner, how he could make her happy, etc. Self

1264
00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 3: congratulatory all those IVY League degrees, and frankly, really really

1265
00:59:25,200 --> 00:59:29,200
Speaker 3: exhausting Netflix and Jill. Not these guys Night in drinking

1266
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 3: Wine no way. I figured that this matchmaker's clientele was

1267
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 3: really materially successful but lacking in social skills, which is

1268
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:40,040
Speaker 3: why there was a certain logic in setting these people

1269
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 3: up with normies who couldn't or wouldn't pay for service

1270
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:46,120
Speaker 3: like this. I wrote my own bio, which admittedly was

1271
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 3: also a bit extra, but still way more calm and

1272
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 3: normal than the ones I saw. I also had to

1273
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 3: meet the matchmaker in person for an interview, which turned

1274
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:56,640
Speaker 3: out to be more about figuring out what I liked

1275
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,680
Speaker 3: rather than evaluating me at all. In a couple of days,

1276
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,320
Speaker 3: the matchch maker emailed me with my two first matches.

1277
01:00:02,760 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 3: It had their bios but no pictures, which ultimately wasn't

1278
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 3: a real problem because, like these sample guys' profiles I saw,

1279
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:15,920
Speaker 3: these women were very impressive and therefore very easy to

1280
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:20,680
Speaker 3: find online. Fancy degrees, fancy jobs, involved in civic life,

1281
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:25,240
Speaker 3: had their own Wikipedia pages. Well. The matchmaker suggested I

1282
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:27,960
Speaker 3: swipe right on both of them, and I figured why not.

1283
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,640
Speaker 3: I got their numbers, texted them, We chatted a bit,

1284
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 3: and I set up two dates. The matchmaker insists that

1285
01:00:34,920 --> 01:00:37,400
Speaker 3: the man takes the woman to dinner. My normal m

1286
01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:41,360
Speaker 3: O on a date is usually just drinks. Long story short,

1287
01:00:41,600 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 3: Both dates went well in the sense that it was

1288
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:46,920
Speaker 3: very easy to talk to them. Conversation was fun and easy,

1289
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:49,400
Speaker 3: and they were both pretty cute. They were both three

1290
01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:51,720
Speaker 3: to four years older than me, which is a little

1291
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 3: unusual for who I normally date, but not really a problem.

1292
01:00:55,000 --> 01:00:57,240
Speaker 3: There was a tiny bit of awkwardness when it came

1293
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:59,320
Speaker 3: out that they were paying for the service and I

1294
01:00:59,400 --> 01:01:02,320
Speaker 3: was not. I'm not sure if they've realized how it

1295
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:04,880
Speaker 3: worked or not, but other than that, it was fun.

1296
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:09,160
Speaker 3: They were both a bit status focused, focused, but not obsessed.

1297
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 3: I tried a bit to joke about how this elite

1298
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:15,200
Speaker 3: matchmaking service was pretty extra and unusual, but they just

1299
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 3: raved about how they were excited to meet all these

1300
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 3: super impressive guys. After the date, the matchmaker likes to

1301
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,840
Speaker 3: intermediate things like you're both supposed to tell her if

1302
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:27,600
Speaker 3: you want to see the other person again. In both cases,

1303
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:30,000
Speaker 3: the women expressed interest in a second date with me,

1304
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:34,440
Speaker 3: and I did not reciprocate. Ultimately, I didn't quite feel

1305
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:37,680
Speaker 3: the physical chemistry. But more than that, the whole concept

1306
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:40,800
Speaker 3: of this matchmaker matching people up based on their resumes

1307
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:44,120
Speaker 3: and stats sort of rubbed me the wrong way, and

1308
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:45,800
Speaker 3: I didn't think I'd want to be with someone who

1309
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:48,560
Speaker 3: had those values or chose me for my good luck

1310
01:01:48,720 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 3: and arbitrary LinkedIn profile. In the meantime, I met an

1311
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,439
Speaker 3: awesome woman the old fashioned way, a dating app which

1312
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:57,440
Speaker 3: blossomed into an exclusive boyfriend girlfriend thing that I'm super

1313
01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:00,720
Speaker 3: excited about. She's also super well educated and impressive in

1314
01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:04,280
Speaker 3: terms of her professional accomplishments, but doesn't define herself or

1315
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 3: her potential partner in terms of her resume, which is

1316
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 3: something I learned I cared about from doing the IRL matchmaking.

1317
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:12,440
Speaker 3: I let the matchmaker know and she took me out

1318
01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 3: of a rotation. This doesn't seem like there's any issue here.

1319
01:02:15,520 --> 01:02:17,760
Speaker 3: Seems like op, he just doesn't like matchmaking and the

1320
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:19,680
Speaker 3: other people who like it can have it.

1321
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:23,440
Speaker 4: I will tell you he's really quite young, yeah, I mean,

1322
01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:27,400
Speaker 4: he's thirty years old. Yeah, so unless he is already

1323
01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:31,280
Speaker 4: a multi millionaire, which he can be. I mean if

1324
01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:34,320
Speaker 4: he positioned himself well on you know, Wall Street, right

1325
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 4: out of college whatever I mean, and of course it

1326
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:39,560
Speaker 4: does happen, but he's young to be in that world.

1327
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 4: I feel like, especially in an elite matchmaking like boutique space,

1328
01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 4: like the numbers he was throwing out he's young for that,

1329
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:50,760
Speaker 4: which also didn't surprise me that he mentioned that the

1330
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:51,760
Speaker 4: women were older.

1331
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:56,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's people who are like seemingly very successful and

1332
01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:59,040
Speaker 3: this is like what they wanted to pursue. Yeah, so

1333
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:00,080
Speaker 3: in that sense.

1334
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:04,160
Speaker 4: I also think that it's very He also made a

1335
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:06,280
Speaker 4: comment about how he kind of didn't like how that

1336
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:09,560
Speaker 4: felt like where he was being judged based off of

1337
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:14,120
Speaker 4: his Lincoln profile or whatever. But these clients didn't choose him. Yeah,

1338
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 4: they paid a matchmaker to choose him, and they thought

1339
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:21,960
Speaker 4: it was a potential good fit. And frankly just saying

1340
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 4: it was a potential good fit. He can make a

1341
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:26,160
Speaker 4: bunch of excuses and say a bunch of things. But

1342
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:28,360
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, if he would have

1343
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:32,720
Speaker 4: felt that physical and connection, oh I can't say that

1344
01:03:32,720 --> 01:03:37,280
Speaker 4: word and connection to these women, he would have said

1345
01:03:37,320 --> 01:03:39,920
Speaker 4: yes to a second date. The end. That's really the

1346
01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:42,840
Speaker 4: real reason the end. All the other stuff is just bs.

1347
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:45,240
Speaker 3: I have completely agree. I don't think it's like the

1348
01:03:45,280 --> 01:03:48,600
Speaker 3: matchmaking thing. I think you just weren't interested in these people.

1349
01:03:48,840 --> 01:03:50,120
Speaker 4: He just didn't feel it, and that's it.

1350
01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's fine. I think it's the same

1351
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:55,800
Speaker 3: thing that happens with like like dating apps. I think

1352
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 3: people will go on dating apps and like not experience

1353
01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:02,080
Speaker 3: any and they're like, well, it's the dating app, and

1354
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:05,440
Speaker 3: in a way, yes, but also it's just you didn't

1355
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:07,560
Speaker 3: meet a person you were interested in, and that's okay.

1356
01:04:07,640 --> 01:04:10,800
Speaker 4: It's the same. By the way, with long distance relationships,

1357
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:17,240
Speaker 4: distance does not kill a relationship silenced us. So if

1358
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:19,920
Speaker 4: it is your person, it does not matter if there

1359
01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:21,400
Speaker 4: is distance between the two of you.

1360
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:22,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll communicate.

1361
01:04:22,600 --> 01:04:25,160
Speaker 4: People will make it work. They will. If it's your person,

1362
01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:27,800
Speaker 4: You're gonna make it work the end. So you can

1363
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:31,040
Speaker 4: come up with a bunch of excuses, and really the

1364
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:33,240
Speaker 4: truth is is it your person or is it not?

1365
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:35,240
Speaker 4: Are you feeling it or are you not? Are you

1366
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:37,480
Speaker 4: willing to continue putting in the work or are you not?

1367
01:04:37,720 --> 01:04:41,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's totally fine that these people, But yeah,

1368
01:04:41,840 --> 01:04:43,280
Speaker 3: I don't think it really had much to do with

1369
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:45,920
Speaker 3: the matchmaking. More so, you just weren't interested in them.

1370
01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:46,360
Speaker 3: That's okay.

1371
01:04:46,400 --> 01:04:48,920
Speaker 4: I totally agree. Sometimes people say to me, Sophia, this

1372
01:04:48,960 --> 01:04:53,080
Speaker 4: is funny, but I will We're here in La right now,

1373
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:55,360
Speaker 4: and let's say that I have a person in La

1374
01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:58,000
Speaker 4: and a person in San Diego, and it looks close

1375
01:04:58,040 --> 01:04:59,480
Speaker 4: on the map, but that can be a drive, right,

1376
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:01,200
Speaker 4: that can be like three and a half hour hike.

1377
01:05:01,920 --> 01:05:05,920
Speaker 4: And people will know where each other lives. And then

1378
01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:08,520
Speaker 4: I will be like, Okay, well she's in San Diego.

1379
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:10,320
Speaker 4: Are you good with it? Yeah? I'm good with it.

1380
01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:12,280
Speaker 4: He's in La. Are you good with it? Yeah, totally

1381
01:05:12,280 --> 01:05:14,920
Speaker 4: good with it. Okay, great, Yeah, And then they I

1382
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:17,560
Speaker 4: set up a date for them halfway in between both

1383
01:05:17,600 --> 01:05:21,120
Speaker 4: of them, and they meet and one of them says yes,

1384
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:22,800
Speaker 4: and one of them says no, And the person who

1385
01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:25,520
Speaker 4: says no says it's just too far.

1386
01:05:25,880 --> 01:05:28,440
Speaker 3: Then why would they say, Yeah, that's a lie. Yeah,

1387
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:29,680
Speaker 3: that's a lie because.

1388
01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:32,960
Speaker 4: You knew where she lived before you agreed to go

1389
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 4: out on the date. Yeah, you just were assessing if

1390
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:41,040
Speaker 4: she was worth that distance. Oh yeah, that's it. So

1391
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:43,360
Speaker 4: really it has nothing to do with the distance. It

1392
01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:44,400
Speaker 4: has to do with the chemistry.

1393
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:47,440
Speaker 3: Hundred percent agree. Yeah. Riley and his girlfriend who also

1394
01:05:47,520 --> 01:05:49,680
Speaker 3: is on the show, Angie, they live like an hour

1395
01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:52,840
Speaker 3: and sometimes more apart, and they like sometimes it could

1396
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:53,440
Speaker 3: be two hours.

1397
01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 4: So yeah, it's the right person may if you're two

1398
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:58,720
Speaker 4: hours apart, that might as well be a flight. I

1399
01:05:58,760 --> 01:06:01,040
Speaker 4: mean that is a flight from dating to New York City.

1400
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:02,640
Speaker 4: I can get there in an hour and a half. Yeah,

1401
01:06:02,680 --> 01:06:04,360
Speaker 4: so it's it's the same.

1402
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:06,920
Speaker 3: It's yeah, if you want to make it work, you

1403
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:10,240
Speaker 3: will hallo. If my current thing doesn't work out, I

1404
01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:13,080
Speaker 3: will definitely try the matchmaker again. Like I said, I

1405
01:06:13,120 --> 01:06:14,640
Speaker 3: find the idea of matching someone.

1406
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:15,240
Speaker 4: Did you hear that?

1407
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly, hear that.

1408
01:06:17,280 --> 01:06:20,720
Speaker 4: It was like, Hey, the point if this relationship with

1409
01:06:20,840 --> 01:06:22,720
Speaker 4: this girl that I met on the dating app doesn't

1410
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:27,000
Speaker 4: work out, who I actually have really intense chemistry with, Yeah,

1411
01:06:27,080 --> 01:06:29,640
Speaker 4: then I'll get back in touch with the matchmaker and

1412
01:06:29,680 --> 01:06:31,440
Speaker 4: she can put me out with more women that I

1413
01:06:31,520 --> 01:06:33,240
Speaker 4: might have better chemistry with. Exactly.

1414
01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:35,520
Speaker 3: That's that's the whole point. That's the truth.

1415
01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:37,760
Speaker 4: So for my first few years of matchmaking, I worked

1416
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,680
Speaker 4: at a very large company. It's like the largest in

1417
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:45,600
Speaker 4: the United States in matchmaking, and I remember specifically how

1418
01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:50,640
Speaker 4: difficult it was for like people in New York City

1419
01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:54,680
Speaker 4: and people in Los Angeles. So we were told like, oh, yeah,

1420
01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:56,480
Speaker 4: if they live in New York City, then you know,

1421
01:06:56,560 --> 01:06:58,959
Speaker 4: you open up all the boroughs like all five burroughs. Yeah,

1422
01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:00,760
Speaker 4: they have to be opened, all of them. Sure, but

1423
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:04,360
Speaker 4: that was crazy to some people. Like if they're like, no,

1424
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:08,400
Speaker 4: I live in I don't know Harlem, and this person

1425
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:10,760
Speaker 4: lives in Staten Island, like I will never this is

1426
01:07:10,840 --> 01:07:13,320
Speaker 4: never gonna happen. I mean they were, they would just

1427
01:07:13,360 --> 01:07:15,280
Speaker 4: like lock it down. They would get very upset.

1428
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:18,560
Speaker 3: I think people who live in really walkable cities don't

1429
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:22,480
Speaker 3: want to go very far. I've noticed that with like

1430
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 3: friends who live in really walkable cities. They're like, I'm

1431
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:28,520
Speaker 3: gonna stick to my block, like my five block radius,

1432
01:07:28,560 --> 01:07:29,760
Speaker 3: and that's that's it.

1433
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:35,400
Speaker 4: Yeah. Even getting somebody in LA like west Side or

1434
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:39,440
Speaker 4: or maybe like for further south, help me, what is that?

1435
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:43,160
Speaker 4: What is south? Is like Malibu South, We're we're more

1436
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:46,760
Speaker 4: and more south, okay, okay, us Culver City that's pretty south. Okay,

1437
01:07:46,840 --> 01:07:49,560
Speaker 4: so Culver City. And then and then finding somebody in

1438
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:51,520
Speaker 4: like Pasadena.

1439
01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:53,000
Speaker 3: Yes, that's like frea king forget it that.

1440
01:07:53,120 --> 01:07:55,200
Speaker 4: They'd be like, no, I'm not doing it. I'm like,

1441
01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:59,680
Speaker 4: what if your soulmate does not live in your backyard?

1442
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:00,320
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1443
01:08:00,800 --> 01:08:01,560
Speaker 4: What if they don't?

1444
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:06,160
Speaker 3: If I've met someone and they lived in Pasadena like,

1445
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:09,280
Speaker 3: you know, I'm dating someone, so this is not this

1446
01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:12,080
Speaker 3: is for hypothetical. If my hYP like, if my boyfriend

1447
01:08:12,120 --> 01:08:14,840
Speaker 3: lived in Pasadena, I would make that work.

1448
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:15,800
Speaker 4: She would.

1449
01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:19,920
Speaker 3: But I'm really glad he doesn't live in Pasadena. He

1450
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:22,559
Speaker 3: lives like ten minutes away from me, and that's pretty great.

1451
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:25,280
Speaker 4: That's that's really great and you are so lucky for that.

1452
01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:27,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I would make it work if because I

1453
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:29,160
Speaker 3: love him, I would make it work.

1454
01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:31,559
Speaker 4: I mean, I'm just putting it out there. Are there

1455
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:37,439
Speaker 4: are military families, there are military marriages where these husbands

1456
01:08:37,520 --> 01:08:41,680
Speaker 4: or wives are overseas for months and sometimes years and

1457
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:45,000
Speaker 4: they are apart and people just don't like get divorced.

1458
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:48,479
Speaker 4: They they wait for their spouse and they stay in

1459
01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:50,960
Speaker 4: contact and all of the things. Like it's just crazy

1460
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,439
Speaker 4: where people are. Oh, I live in the valley and

1461
01:08:53,479 --> 01:08:55,920
Speaker 4: I'm only gonna die in the valla. Yeah, I'm like, no,

1462
01:08:56,080 --> 01:08:58,160
Speaker 4: what come on? Come on?

1463
01:08:58,680 --> 01:09:01,160
Speaker 3: Like I said, I find the eye of matching someone

1464
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:03,879
Speaker 3: based on your resume a bit distasteful, But you definitely

1465
01:09:03,880 --> 01:09:05,800
Speaker 3: have access to kinds of people who I feel like

1466
01:09:05,840 --> 01:09:08,839
Speaker 3: you don't see on dating apps, even those silly elite

1467
01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:11,920
Speaker 3: ones like the League dating apps. Are also based on

1468
01:09:11,960 --> 01:09:14,960
Speaker 3: another set of very shallow criteria looks. So it's not

1469
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:18,080
Speaker 3: like matchmaking based on resume or something is necessarily worst,

1470
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:21,320
Speaker 3: just shallow on a different dimension. That said, I'm not

1471
01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:23,560
Speaker 3: sure that if you're someone for whom dating apps or

1472
01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:26,760
Speaker 3: friends of friends dating don't really work, that paying someone

1473
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:28,639
Speaker 3: to match you up would be a good use of money.

1474
01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:30,920
Speaker 3: I was detailing the story to one of my friends

1475
01:09:30,960 --> 01:09:34,479
Speaker 3: in an uber and the driver in that tried a

1476
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:38,040
Speaker 3: less expensive version and his experience as a man paying

1477
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:39,800
Speaker 3: to be set up with a non paying woman was

1478
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:42,760
Speaker 3: really terrible. But I feel like, do you get this

1479
01:09:42,840 --> 01:09:45,360
Speaker 3: a lot where people like put a lot of blame

1480
01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:48,800
Speaker 3: on the matchmaking industry, when people like I feel like

1481
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:51,920
Speaker 3: it's just in any area of life, you're just gonna

1482
01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:54,160
Speaker 3: have people that don't mesh all the time, like that

1483
01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:54,919
Speaker 3: just happens.

1484
01:09:55,240 --> 01:09:58,679
Speaker 4: I did get Yeah, I heard that a lot when

1485
01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:03,839
Speaker 4: I did not own my own agency. Sure I don't

1486
01:10:04,360 --> 01:10:10,840
Speaker 4: hear that now because I just think, I mean just transparency,

1487
01:10:10,920 --> 01:10:12,600
Speaker 4: Like my target market is going to be from like

1488
01:10:12,680 --> 01:10:16,120
Speaker 4: age forty to seventy, and then sometimes I'll get younger

1489
01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:19,240
Speaker 4: and sometimes I'll get older. But these are very, very

1490
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:24,000
Speaker 4: intentional single people. Yeah, they are very ready for long

1491
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:27,720
Speaker 4: term relationship, partnership or marriage, like they are ready. These

1492
01:10:27,720 --> 01:10:30,120
Speaker 4: are people that are done with dating apps. These are

1493
01:10:30,160 --> 01:10:33,240
Speaker 4: people who are exhausted by the dating apps. A lot

1494
01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:34,800
Speaker 4: of times these are I mean, I am at a

1495
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:38,360
Speaker 4: man who this was so sad to me, especially like

1496
01:10:38,520 --> 01:10:43,920
Speaker 4: elderly people who are being taken advantage of, like monetarily

1497
01:10:43,960 --> 01:10:47,479
Speaker 4: taken advantage of by they think that they're in some

1498
01:10:47,520 --> 01:10:50,639
Speaker 4: sort of relationship with someone that's not even real. It's

1499
01:10:50,680 --> 01:10:53,120
Speaker 4: not a real person. Stories like that, or it's like

1500
01:10:53,280 --> 01:10:57,280
Speaker 4: some like twenty year old like guy in a Nigerian basement,

1501
01:10:57,360 --> 01:11:00,720
Speaker 4: it's not really a a woman, and they're taken for

1502
01:11:00,800 --> 01:11:03,599
Speaker 4: hundreds of thousands of dollars. I mean it's crazy. Yeah,

1503
01:11:03,640 --> 01:11:06,519
Speaker 4: it is crazy. So why do people want to bother

1504
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:08,200
Speaker 4: with that? Why do they want to mess around with that?

1505
01:11:08,240 --> 01:11:09,840
Speaker 4: Why do they want to have to like do their

1506
01:11:09,880 --> 01:11:12,920
Speaker 4: own work and their own background checking and figure out

1507
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:15,200
Speaker 4: all these things. That guy said that he didn't like

1508
01:11:15,240 --> 01:11:17,360
Speaker 4: the idea of matching based off of a resume, I

1509
01:11:17,360 --> 01:11:22,800
Speaker 4: think that's outstanding because you're also matching based off of lifestyle,

1510
01:11:22,960 --> 01:11:26,200
Speaker 4: and lifestyle alignment is really really important.

1511
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:28,400
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and I'm sure like people who are coming to

1512
01:11:28,439 --> 01:11:32,479
Speaker 3: you for services like have a certain you know, way,

1513
01:11:32,680 --> 01:11:34,720
Speaker 3: like their of living their own life and they want

1514
01:11:34,720 --> 01:11:35,800
Speaker 3: someone who like matches.

1515
01:11:35,520 --> 01:11:38,240
Speaker 4: That well we all do. Yeah, yeah, I mean, for example,

1516
01:11:38,320 --> 01:11:41,599
Speaker 4: everyone says I love to travel. Everyone everyone says I

1517
01:11:41,600 --> 01:11:44,640
Speaker 4: love to travel. But there's a huge difference between like

1518
01:11:44,960 --> 01:11:47,240
Speaker 4: the man who does like the five day hike Tamanchu Pichu,

1519
01:11:47,320 --> 01:11:50,880
Speaker 4: and the woman who enjoys taking Caribbean cruises and the

1520
01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:52,800
Speaker 4: guy who only wants to like drive to the lake

1521
01:11:52,840 --> 01:11:55,880
Speaker 4: and go fishing. These are very different travelers.

1522
01:11:56,040 --> 01:11:58,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, very different travelers.

1523
01:11:58,320 --> 01:12:00,000
Speaker 4: So you can't say that they're all going to work

1524
01:12:00,240 --> 01:12:01,360
Speaker 4: because they all love to travel.

1525
01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:02,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1526
01:12:02,439 --> 01:12:05,320
Speaker 4: So that's why matchmaking is so awesome because you can

1527
01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:06,679
Speaker 4: have somebody like take.

1528
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:09,439
Speaker 3: Care of that for you. Absolutely, but we've got a

1529
01:12:09,479 --> 01:12:11,880
Speaker 3: little bit left On the pro side. I like that

1530
01:12:11,920 --> 01:12:14,879
Speaker 3: the matchmaker got involved and kind of enforced good behavior,

1531
01:12:15,120 --> 01:12:17,679
Speaker 3: no ghosting, gave you tips and talked up the matches.

1532
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:20,719
Speaker 3: For example, I was traveling a lot after I texted

1533
01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:23,400
Speaker 3: with my match but before we met, and the matchmaker

1534
01:12:23,439 --> 01:12:25,280
Speaker 3: would reach out to me from time to time to

1535
01:12:25,280 --> 01:12:27,760
Speaker 3: make sure I was keeping the conversation going. It's a

1536
01:12:27,800 --> 01:12:30,519
Speaker 3: little bit annoying, but also it's the kind of punt

1537
01:12:30,520 --> 01:12:33,120
Speaker 3: to the pants that can be helpful. She was really nice.

1538
01:12:33,200 --> 01:12:34,519
Speaker 4: She actually sounds like a great match.

1539
01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:36,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what this is.

1540
01:12:36,240 --> 01:12:38,320
Speaker 4: I almost like have a little bit of an idea

1541
01:12:38,600 --> 01:12:39,960
Speaker 4: just based off of that. I was like trying to

1542
01:12:39,960 --> 01:12:42,439
Speaker 4: figure it out this whole time, but she's like coaching him.

1543
01:12:42,479 --> 01:12:44,400
Speaker 4: She agreed, she didn't even get paid to do that.

1544
01:12:44,720 --> 01:12:49,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think this with outstanding. Yeah, I feel like

1545
01:12:49,160 --> 01:12:50,520
Speaker 3: I haven't heard anything.

1546
01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:52,479
Speaker 4: Wherever you are. If you know who you are in

1547
01:12:52,560 --> 01:12:54,640
Speaker 4: this story, I'm praising you. Way to go.

1548
01:12:55,160 --> 01:12:58,599
Speaker 3: Yeah, she was really nice and clearly had a super

1549
01:12:58,640 --> 01:13:01,920
Speaker 3: high EQ. And having this intermediary seems like a good

1550
01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:04,920
Speaker 3: thing overall to help cut down on ghosting and other

1551
01:13:05,040 --> 01:13:07,960
Speaker 3: bad behavior that's really common on dating apps. Worth fifty

1552
01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:10,599
Speaker 3: gay not to me, but maybe to some people. And again,

1553
01:13:10,680 --> 01:13:14,160
Speaker 3: I think what you were going back to earlier, this

1554
01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:16,760
Speaker 3: is like usually an older group of people who like

1555
01:13:16,840 --> 01:13:19,760
Speaker 3: have you know, they know what they want. Yeah, and

1556
01:13:19,760 --> 01:13:20,400
Speaker 3: that makes sense.

1557
01:13:20,600 --> 01:13:23,200
Speaker 4: And I will tell you to the younger people though, too.

1558
01:13:23,320 --> 01:13:26,120
Speaker 4: I know that like your audience kind of runs the

1559
01:13:26,120 --> 01:13:28,519
Speaker 4: game and on, like oh yeah, young too old, right, Yes,

1560
01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:32,240
Speaker 4: but it doesn't matter your age, I will tell you that.

1561
01:13:32,880 --> 01:13:34,840
Speaker 4: And this is going to sound super cliche, but great

1562
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:38,759
Speaker 4: communication is so vital. It's so vital, and you should

1563
01:13:38,800 --> 01:13:43,479
Speaker 4: never try to build a relationship over texting. Never ever. Yeah,

1564
01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:47,360
Speaker 4: because people don't trust and intimacy has not yet been built.

1565
01:13:47,400 --> 01:13:50,240
Speaker 4: They don't know each other well, they don't know their

1566
01:13:50,640 --> 01:13:54,240
Speaker 4: relationship background or any sort of traumas, they don't know

1567
01:13:54,280 --> 01:13:57,479
Speaker 4: their love languages, they don't understand their communication styles, and

1568
01:13:57,520 --> 01:14:01,160
Speaker 4: you're trying to text and create a relationship over a

1569
01:14:01,200 --> 01:14:05,400
Speaker 4: texting platform, super super dangerous. Yeah, A lot of times

1570
01:14:05,400 --> 01:14:07,160
Speaker 4: this is exactly why ghosting happens.

1571
01:14:07,720 --> 01:14:11,520
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean I've been ghosted in like previous experiences

1572
01:14:11,560 --> 01:14:13,760
Speaker 3: and stuff, and it's always just it's very weird to me.

1573
01:14:14,120 --> 01:14:21,280
Speaker 3: It's just strange. Okay, Yeah, No, I think a lot

1574
01:14:21,320 --> 01:14:24,599
Speaker 3: of times those platforms do encourage ghosting, which I don't love.

1575
01:14:24,760 --> 01:14:28,639
Speaker 4: It's very odd too. Yeah, for the like the gen xers,

1576
01:14:28,640 --> 01:14:31,759
Speaker 4: like I'm a gen exert, ghosting is very odd.

1577
01:14:31,920 --> 01:14:35,640
Speaker 3: It's very odd to me as well. Uh, and I'm

1578
01:14:35,680 --> 01:14:38,400
Speaker 3: on twenty four, but it is very strange. I think,

1579
01:14:38,439 --> 01:14:42,240
Speaker 3: unless you're in an unsafe situation. I feel like, just

1580
01:14:42,280 --> 01:14:45,160
Speaker 3: shoot a text at least and I am not feeling it,

1581
01:14:45,520 --> 01:14:47,439
Speaker 3: and I've had to shoot ghost texts. I've had to

1582
01:14:47,439 --> 01:14:49,439
Speaker 3: be like, hey, I'm not feeling the connection. Good for

1583
01:14:49,520 --> 01:14:52,400
Speaker 3: you though, yeah, but I just feel so unless I

1584
01:14:52,479 --> 01:14:55,760
Speaker 3: haven't met the person, I'm like I would never even then,

1585
01:14:55,800 --> 01:14:57,760
Speaker 3: I'm like, I would just just send a text. It's

1586
01:14:57,840 --> 01:14:58,400
Speaker 3: very easy.

1587
01:14:58,640 --> 01:15:01,880
Speaker 4: I know, I lot of time what has happened and

1588
01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:05,240
Speaker 4: not making excuses, but sometimes like a woman will send

1589
01:15:05,240 --> 01:15:07,800
Speaker 4: a text and say, you know, I'm really sorry, I'm

1590
01:15:07,840 --> 01:15:09,639
Speaker 4: just not feeling it. And if the if the man,

1591
01:15:10,680 --> 01:15:13,400
Speaker 4: especially if he's younger, if he's really feeling it, well,

1592
01:15:13,520 --> 01:15:14,880
Speaker 4: what do you mean you're not feeling it? Like what

1593
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:17,559
Speaker 4: is it? And then if she doesn't, she doesn't want

1594
01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:20,879
Speaker 4: to tell him because she's so nice. I really encourage

1595
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:25,600
Speaker 4: these transparent conversations and maybe asking like, hey, are you

1596
01:15:25,680 --> 01:15:28,880
Speaker 4: open to some constructive criticism that could potentially help with

1597
01:15:28,920 --> 01:15:30,960
Speaker 4: your dating journey? Are you open to that because I

1598
01:15:30,960 --> 01:15:33,920
Speaker 4: think it could help you and ask him yeah, and

1599
01:15:34,640 --> 01:15:37,880
Speaker 4: you'd be surprised that usually they're like yeah, they want

1600
01:15:37,880 --> 01:15:39,880
Speaker 4: to know, they want to know what is going on?

1601
01:15:40,160 --> 01:15:42,960
Speaker 4: Why are people ghosting me, What am I doing wrong?

1602
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:43,439
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1603
01:15:43,560 --> 01:15:46,639
Speaker 4: They want to know, and sometimes we're just too nice,

1604
01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:49,720
Speaker 4: and so we don't tell the truth because we're just

1605
01:15:49,760 --> 01:15:52,160
Speaker 4: being polite. Have you ever seen the movie Jeremguire, I

1606
01:15:52,160 --> 01:15:52,919
Speaker 4: know you're young.

1607
01:15:53,160 --> 01:15:56,439
Speaker 5: No, Tom Cruise, right, they're like God.

1608
01:15:57,800 --> 01:16:01,160
Speaker 4: So in that movie, Jerry Maguire, Cruise and Renees Elvigger,

1609
01:16:01,200 --> 01:16:03,879
Speaker 4: they're like in the backyard and they're kind of deciding

1610
01:16:03,920 --> 01:16:06,679
Speaker 4: that they're not going to stay married, and she says,

1611
01:16:07,000 --> 01:16:10,759
Speaker 4: you know, we could have lost ten years just being polite.

1612
01:16:11,160 --> 01:16:13,839
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, No, I mean like in all these conversations,

1613
01:16:13,880 --> 01:16:16,160
Speaker 3: people don't want to hurt feelings and then you end

1614
01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:19,200
Speaker 3: up being worse. Yeah, and I've had that. Yeah, I've

1615
01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:22,080
Speaker 3: had that experience in other things as well, where people

1616
01:16:22,200 --> 01:16:24,320
Speaker 3: just don't want to tell hard truths and then I'm like, well,

1617
01:16:24,320 --> 01:16:27,120
Speaker 3: why didn't you just say that? Yeah? Yeah, just be honest.

1618
01:16:27,280 --> 01:16:29,439
Speaker 4: It's always the best policy too.

1619
01:16:29,800 --> 01:16:32,920
Speaker 3: But I think that's the end actually of our time.

1620
01:16:32,720 --> 01:16:34,800
Speaker 4: The end of the end, the real end.

1621
01:16:35,000 --> 01:16:37,720
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, we're keeping going, but the end of our

1622
01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:40,400
Speaker 3: time together. But thank you so much for joining us.

1623
01:16:40,439 --> 01:16:43,400
Speaker 3: And for the last time, can you give a little

1624
01:16:43,400 --> 01:16:45,320
Speaker 3: spiel about who you are and plug anything you want

1625
01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:45,719
Speaker 3: to plug.

1626
01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:49,240
Speaker 4: Absolutely so. My name is Amanda Hood, CEO and founder

1627
01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:53,759
Speaker 4: of the Krush Confidential www dot the crush confidential dot com.

1628
01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:56,800
Speaker 4: I am a VIP matchmaker out of Ohio, but we

1629
01:16:56,840 --> 01:17:01,200
Speaker 4: service clients nationwide and come see us. Thanks for having

1630
01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:01,400
Speaker 4: me on.

1631
01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:04,000
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for joining us. This is fun.

1632
01:17:04,040 --> 01:17:04,479
Speaker 3: I have fun.