WEBVTT - Toxically Optimistic with Zainab Johnson 0:00:00.130 --> 0:00:03.190 Okay, High and Mighty Tour, guys, is continuing. So please 0:00:03.610 --> 0:00:07.470 come and see me in San Francisco, November 7th. And 0:00:07.510 --> 0:00:11.980 November 13th is Salt Lake. November 20th is Austin, then Houston, 0:00:12.060 --> 0:00:16.480 and then Irving. November 20th, November 21st, and November 22nd, 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:21.440 I will be touring Texas. December 5th is Denver. December 0:00:21.760 --> 0:00:24.900 6th in Vancouver, Canada. I have two shows that night. 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:27.860 There are tickets available for the second show. Two dates 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:31.440 in Jersey City at the Lowe's Theater, December 12th. I'm 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:34.750 shooting my Netflix special, my next Netflix special. Then I'm 0:00:34.790 --> 0:00:39.130 going to Palm Beach, Florida, December 16th by popular demand. 0:00:39.470 --> 0:00:44.350 Then Hollywood, Florida, December 17th. And then two shows in Tampa, 0:00:44.430 --> 0:00:48.510 Florida on December 18th. So I will see you guys 0:00:48.710 --> 0:00:51.480 on the road. Come and see the High and Mighty tour. 0:00:51.940 --> 0:00:53.000 I'll give you some LSD. 0:00:54.140 --> 0:00:54.760 It's Katherine. 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:57.510 If you've been thinking about writing into Dear Chelsea, now 0:00:57.560 --> 0:01:01.310 is your moment. We're specifically looking for sister questions, any 0:01:01.350 --> 0:01:04.430 kind of sister drama, working things out. We're looking for 0:01:04.530 --> 0:01:07.490 wedding drama. We're looking for any kind of issue you're 0:01:07.510 --> 0:01:10.380 having in your relationship. Maybe the new guy you're dating 0:01:10.520 --> 0:01:12.300 is like doing something kind of weird and you need 0:01:12.319 --> 0:01:16.860 some advice about it. Please write in to DearChelseaPodcast at gmail.com. 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:22.080 Hi, how are you? Hi, Chelsea. Oh, what is that? 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:24.479 Are you excited about this election? 0:01:24.500 --> 0:01:25.540 Oh, my gosh. 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:27.209 Well, it's going to be coming out a little bit 0:01:27.310 --> 0:01:30.350 after that. Okay, I got confused. My ADHD is not. 0:01:30.510 --> 0:01:31.190 That's all right. 0:01:31.410 --> 0:01:34.150 Floridians, if you're listening, I know you are because I'm 0:01:34.190 --> 0:01:36.590 coming there to do shows there because I listen to 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:37.080 you guys. 0:01:37.160 --> 0:01:38.000 And now you listen to me. 0:01:38.540 --> 0:01:40.360 Yes, and we have Denise chiming in from the other 0:01:40.380 --> 0:01:40.940 room with a squigger toy. 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:43.300 We have Denise chiming in, and what else do we have? 0:01:43.340 --> 0:01:45.979 What shows? Shows are pretty sold out. Oh, you know 0:01:46.000 --> 0:01:48.040 what shows aren't sold out? Texas, guys. 0:01:48.060 --> 0:01:52.480 I'm coming to Austin, Houston, and Irving, Texas, which is 0:01:52.580 --> 0:01:55.760 just outside of Dallas, Texas. So I'm coming to Irving, 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:59.380 Texas next month, so please get tickets. Because I'll be 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:01.300 there and you ask me to come to Texas and 0:02:01.340 --> 0:02:03.000 I'm coming. So let's sell out those shows. 0:02:03.340 --> 0:02:04.890 What did you think about You Can See Everything? 0:02:04.910 --> 0:02:09.269 Oh, God. I mean, it was everything. 0:02:09.290 --> 0:02:12.790 Two of the most kind of repellent characters that I've 0:02:12.950 --> 0:02:14.090 ever witnessed. 0:02:14.310 --> 0:02:17.010 Like what struck me most, even in the first half 0:02:17.050 --> 0:02:19.810 of the movie, is like we've all seen someone that's 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:22.800 like grifting our friend, right? Like one person is grifting 0:02:22.820 --> 0:02:25.660 the other in a relationship. And you've just never seen 0:02:25.700 --> 0:02:26.640 a mutual grift. 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:29.299 Like you could just see in their eyes. 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:32.060 It's just like, it's all about calculating. What can I 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:34.209 get from you? What do you bring to me? You know? 0:02:34.340 --> 0:02:35.169 Like I went with. 0:02:35.110 --> 0:02:38.709 Jamie and her husband and she was like, her husband's like, 0:02:38.730 --> 0:02:41.130 you know, this happened to Thomas, not Thomas Edison, who 0:02:41.169 --> 0:02:42.190 invented electricity. 0:02:42.450 --> 0:02:46.770 Alexander. No, that's the telephone. Electricity. Benjamin Franklin. Was it 0:02:46.790 --> 0:02:48.130 Benjamin Franklin? He with the kite? 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:48.230 Yes. 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:51.280 Yes. I don't know. Okay. It happened to someone a 0:02:51.300 --> 0:02:52.020 long time ago. 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:53.780 Maybe it was Thomas Edison he was talking about. But 0:02:53.820 --> 0:02:55.900 whomever he was talking about was like, you know, just 0:02:55.940 --> 0:02:58.060 like thought to be a fraud and a shyster. 0:02:58.139 --> 0:02:58.399 Yeah. 0:02:58.560 --> 0:02:59.680 As they were going around. 0:02:59.700 --> 0:03:01.720 Like an inventor has a lot of false leads and 0:03:01.780 --> 0:03:04.340 has a lot of, you know, they're inventing something new. 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:06.340 Although Thomas Edison did steal a lot of stuff. 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:08.020 He did steal a lot of stuff. 0:03:08.300 --> 0:03:08.619 Oh, okay. Yeah. 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:11.490 Specifically from black people. Oh, okay. Okay. Good to know. 0:03:11.510 --> 0:03:12.210 Good to know. But anyway. 0:03:12.660 --> 0:03:16.080 I actually am watching a five-part documentary. There's a documentary 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:19.140 about like the history of America and the history of 0:03:19.180 --> 0:03:22.820 like this idea of democracy and government ruled by the 0:03:22.860 --> 0:03:26.100 people from the very beginning. So I started that last night. 0:03:26.980 --> 0:03:29.080 It was about 30 minutes into my Xanax. So I 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:31.579 got about the first 20 and then I was sleeping. 0:03:31.620 --> 0:03:33.440 But it was really good. I'm like, good. I need 0:03:33.460 --> 0:03:35.740 this information. I need all this information. Anyway, that he 0:03:35.780 --> 0:03:37.480 was a shyster and that people didn't trust him. They 0:03:37.520 --> 0:03:40.180 thought he was a fraud. uh, whomever we're talking about. 0:03:40.260 --> 0:03:41.660 And I was like, well, that's fine. 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:44.930 But she like knowingly lied and put this product out into, 0:03:45.170 --> 0:03:49.390 into like the marketplace, affecting having a negative impact on people. 0:03:49.430 --> 0:03:51.530 So that's a little bit different than just trying to 0:03:51.570 --> 0:03:52.750 invent something and not quite getting it. 0:03:52.990 --> 0:03:53.170 Right. 0:03:53.210 --> 0:03:55.970 And there is definitely an argument to be made about like, right. 0:03:56.010 --> 0:03:57.530 There is definitely an argument to be made about like, 0:03:57.570 --> 0:04:00.510 there are zillions of men who get investments for things 0:04:00.550 --> 0:04:02.730 like this and they don't suffer any consequences when their 0:04:02.890 --> 0:04:05.520 business idea doesn't pan out. But she did like run 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:07.800 tests on people with cancer. So there, you know, she 0:04:07.840 --> 0:04:10.740 did like some real, some real not great stuff. 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:13.350 But I love that everyone's talking about a movie. 0:04:13.490 --> 0:04:13.750 Yes. 0:04:14.210 --> 0:04:16.090 I love that. And it makes me so happy. I 0:04:16.230 --> 0:04:18.170 went in the daytime. I went with like five friends. 0:04:18.860 --> 0:04:20.820 And it was just nice to go to the movies 0:04:20.860 --> 0:04:22.800 together and all be so excited to see something. 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:25.940 Yeah, I love it. So that's great. Good. Positive, too. Well, 0:04:27.000 --> 0:04:30.250 our guest today is toxically positive. Oh, yes. Our guest 0:04:30.270 --> 0:04:33.070 today is so special. She just like, oh, my God. 0:04:33.089 --> 0:04:34.970 I didn't want to say it during the interview because 0:04:34.990 --> 0:04:36.550 I just think it's weird to call people and tell 0:04:36.570 --> 0:04:39.719 people they're beautiful. No, I was thinking that when I 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:42.339 was ending the episode. And I was like, you're so beautiful. 0:04:42.700 --> 0:04:45.279 I felt that when I did Michelle Obama's podcast recently. 0:04:45.870 --> 0:04:48.430 And I wanted to say that same thing to Michelle Obama, 0:04:48.450 --> 0:04:49.589 but I was like, don't say it. 0:04:49.610 --> 0:04:51.099 And afterward, I was like, God, I wanted to tell you. 0:04:51.390 --> 0:04:53.250 She's like, why didn't you? Why didn't you say it? 0:04:53.290 --> 0:04:56.510 And I was like, because it's weird to call people beautiful. 0:04:56.529 --> 0:04:59.720 But also, like, as white women, it's like we're learning 0:04:59.779 --> 0:05:00.460 our rules. 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:03.839 Exactly. Boundaries. But it's also like, can we tell you 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:05.920 black women that you're so beautiful? Yes, we can. But 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:08.839 it can't be on camera. We can't be weird about it. 0:05:09.339 --> 0:05:12.580 And it can't be like, no. I know what you mean. 0:05:12.670 --> 0:05:13.030 I know. Yes. 0:05:13.690 --> 0:05:14.050 All right. 0:05:14.230 --> 0:05:17.010 So our guest today has a new Netflix special out 0:05:17.029 --> 0:05:18.570 that is produced by the Obamas. 0:05:18.970 --> 0:05:21.169 It's called Toxically Optimistic. 0:05:21.650 --> 0:05:25.080 You also know her from Last Comic Standing, Rami, Amazon 0:05:25.100 --> 0:05:29.340 Prime's Upload, and Netflix's 100 Humans. And her name is 0:05:29.580 --> 0:05:31.540 Zainab Johnson, and you're going to be seeing a lot 0:05:31.580 --> 0:05:31.800 of her. 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:35.840 Please welcome her. I loved your special. Oh, thank you. 0:05:35.860 --> 0:05:39.650 It was awesome. Thank you. High fucking quality. Thank you. 0:05:39.670 --> 0:05:41.530 It's so nice. I wish there was a station where 0:05:41.550 --> 0:05:43.910 they just played female comedians. Is it okay if I 0:05:43.930 --> 0:05:45.890 take my shoes off? Yeah, absolutely. Take your clothes off. 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:48.780 They will be probably in frame, just so you know. Oh, 0:05:48.820 --> 0:05:51.180 that's fine. We might have a Wikipedia situation. I'm happy 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:53.040 to take my feet out too if you need support. 0:05:53.060 --> 0:05:56.050 The moment it's like we're getting comfortable, we're cross-legging it. 0:05:56.350 --> 0:05:59.450 You don't need any water or anything in addition? Sure, 0:05:59.490 --> 0:06:01.250 I'll take some water. Do you like some flavored water? 0:06:01.270 --> 0:06:01.330 No. 0:06:01.390 --> 0:06:06.190 No? No, I'm a non-flavored water. Really? Non-sparkling? I like sparkling, 0:06:06.210 --> 0:06:08.210 but I do not like it to have flavor. I 0:06:08.230 --> 0:06:10.210 don't get it. I don't understand the science. 0:06:10.350 --> 0:06:13.750 Okay, well, I have some flavored water that is the 0:06:13.790 --> 0:06:17.530 best flavored water that I've ever tasted. I won't push 0:06:17.550 --> 0:06:19.970 it on you, but there's hope for the future of 0:06:20.130 --> 0:06:20.990 flavored water, so. 0:06:21.050 --> 0:06:25.089 It doesn't taste so good. But if you don't want it, 0:06:25.130 --> 0:06:29.860 I'll finish it. Okay. But it's smooth. I don't like 0:06:29.880 --> 0:06:30.840 the bubbly ones on that. 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:32.520 Oh, no. 0:06:32.670 --> 0:06:33.260 Oh, shit. 0:06:33.310 --> 0:06:36.169 Zainab doesn't even like the fucking water I just gave her. 0:06:36.610 --> 0:06:40.650 Oh, my God. We're off to a terrible start. Zainab 0:06:40.670 --> 0:06:45.730 Johnson is with us. Am I saying? You said it perfectly. Johnson, yeah. Yeah, 0:06:45.750 --> 0:06:47.010 you said it perfectly. I don't know if I was 0:06:47.050 --> 0:06:48.650 missing something. Johnson was the one you were worried about. 0:06:48.670 --> 0:06:50.630 Johnson was the one I was worried about. It does 0:06:50.670 --> 0:06:53.390 trip people up, though. People get so tripped up on Zainab, 0:06:53.410 --> 0:06:56.320 then they call me, like, Johnston or jokes. 0:06:56.779 --> 0:06:59.240 I love having a name as original as Zaynab because 0:06:59.300 --> 0:07:01.380 nobody can get you get it twisted between you and 0:07:01.420 --> 0:07:02.060 anybody else. 0:07:02.320 --> 0:07:04.650 They can't confuse you with people. They can't, but there's 0:07:04.670 --> 0:07:07.070 a lot of Zaynabs out there. Oh, really? Yeah, you know. 0:07:07.110 --> 0:07:08.790 Is that a Muslim name? It's a Muslim name. 0:07:08.810 --> 0:07:08.890 Okay. 0:07:08.910 --> 0:07:11.330 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But yeah, Zaynab is like, at 0:07:11.350 --> 0:07:14.350 my shows, if I say, will Zaynabs please stand up, 0:07:14.390 --> 0:07:15.310 there's going to be like three. 0:07:15.350 --> 0:07:15.630 Oh, really? 0:07:15.670 --> 0:07:17.420 There's going to be like three hijabi girls that just 0:07:17.440 --> 0:07:19.500 stand up, for sure. Okay, well, perfect. Because I'm missing 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:21.120 out on an entire culture, apparently. 0:07:21.140 --> 0:07:21.260 Yeah. 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:24.360 I can't believe we haven't met before. I know. Because 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:27.580 we share someone very special in common. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:07:27.620 --> 0:07:28.900 Then that person is Yamanika. 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:33.710 Yamanika Sanzer. Another person who doesn't need a last name, 0:07:33.810 --> 0:07:36.590 in my opinion. Yamanika should just go by Yamanika, don't 0:07:36.630 --> 0:07:36.970 you think? 0:07:37.050 --> 0:07:38.750 Yeah, she definitely doesn't need a last name. 0:07:39.230 --> 0:07:41.750 So Yamanika, when she goes to Vegas, a lot of 0:07:41.810 --> 0:07:43.270 times she'll stay at Zainab's house. 0:07:43.770 --> 0:07:45.440 When she goes to Vegas, I don't live in Vegas. 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:48.850 What are she always staying with you in Vegas? Oh, no, no, no. 0:07:48.860 --> 0:07:50.980 When she comes to LA, sometimes she stays with me. Oh, 0:07:51.020 --> 0:07:52.810 she's staying with you when she comes here. Who is 0:07:52.820 --> 0:07:53.950 she staying with when she goes to Vegas? I have 0:07:53.970 --> 0:07:57.210 no idea. I have no idea. The whole time I was. 0:07:57.130 --> 0:08:00.480 Watching your special, which is out now, everybody, the whole 0:08:00.500 --> 0:08:02.240 time I was watching your special, I'm like, this woman 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:06.600 doesn't seem like she lives in Vegas. That's really funny. 0:08:07.470 --> 0:08:10.150 So much so that every time Yamanika is working in Vegas, 0:08:10.330 --> 0:08:12.730 she asks me to come visit her and I say no. Yeah, well, 0:08:12.750 --> 0:08:14.650 she likes to make a lot of plans that never 0:08:14.690 --> 0:08:16.010 come to fruition. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:08:16.030 --> 0:08:18.110 We were just on the road this past weekend, and 0:08:18.490 --> 0:08:20.870 we had about one hour until dinner, and she made 0:08:20.970 --> 0:08:22.730 three different sets of plans for us to go to 0:08:22.770 --> 0:08:25.500 a museum, which was never going to... Now that I 0:08:25.540 --> 0:08:27.940 know her, I'm just like, uh-huh, we're not going there. 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:29.440 We have two hours, first of all. 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:29.780 Yeah. 0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:31.320 And we're going to sit here at the hotel bar 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:32.900 and drink is what we're going to fucking do, because 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:35.380 that's what we do every single night before a show, 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:37.679 is we go down for a pre-dinner drink, then we 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:39.860 have dinner, then we have drinks there, and then we 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:40.380 go to the show. 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:40.700 Yeah. Yeah. 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:43.069 And she likes to act like we're going to pop 0:08:43.210 --> 0:08:45.589 off and go to, we're going to go to this 0:08:45.670 --> 0:08:47.820 park and then we're going to go shopping here and 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:50.500 we're going to do that. I'm like, this is an unrealistic... 0:08:50.490 --> 0:08:52.490 set of ideas for the amount of time in which 0:08:52.530 --> 0:08:52.790 we have. 0:08:52.890 --> 0:08:54.750 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she, I mean, she's nothing 0:08:54.790 --> 0:08:58.969 if not ambitious. Yeah. You know? And I think she 0:08:59.150 --> 0:09:04.820 actually likes for someone to give her guidelines and barriers. Structure. Yeah, structure. 0:09:04.860 --> 0:09:07.720 I think that she, because that's our relationship too. She'll say, 0:09:07.980 --> 0:09:10.620 she'll try to do everything. And I'm like, this doesn't, 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:12.600 we're not going to do that. This doesn't make sense. 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.260 You don't even like to do that. Yes. Why are 0:09:15.300 --> 0:09:16.179 you forcing this? 0:09:16.230 --> 0:09:18.370 Does she try to wrangle you into doing things that 0:09:18.410 --> 0:09:19.390 you also don't like? 0:09:19.429 --> 0:09:23.050 That she... doesn't understand that you don't like? Yes, she 0:09:23.150 --> 0:09:26.670 used to, but I'm a pretty good boundary setter. Oh, see, 0:09:26.750 --> 0:09:29.110 I need more boundaries. Oh, I'm a pretty good boundary setter. 0:09:29.390 --> 0:09:31.270 Okay, because she's trying to get me to go to 0:09:31.309 --> 0:09:33.330 fucking Dave and Buster's, and I'm like, listen. 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:35.939 Know me less. 0:09:36.080 --> 0:09:36.720 You know what I mean? 0:09:36.740 --> 0:09:38.880 That is the opposite of what I want to do, 0:09:38.940 --> 0:09:40.179 is go to an arcade. 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:42.700 Okay, so our relationship is a little bit different at 0:09:42.740 --> 0:09:45.100 this point. I think that I have worked on her 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:47.720 enough where she's going to say, I know you don't 0:09:47.740 --> 0:09:48.940 want to come with me to Dave and Buster's. You 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:50.280 know what I'm saying? She's going to be like, I'm 0:09:50.300 --> 0:09:52.190 going to go to Dave and Busta. I know you 0:09:52.230 --> 0:09:53.890 don't want to come. I like it. 0:09:53.950 --> 0:09:57.110 I need some training on how to deal with Yamanika 0:09:57.150 --> 0:09:59.790 because I'm like, yeah. Even though it's been a few years, 0:09:59.850 --> 0:10:03.099 I'm still, I'm getting better at it. But yeah, she'll 0:10:03.140 --> 0:10:04.819 come out of left and right field. So I'm glad 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:05.640 that we share that. 0:10:05.700 --> 0:10:07.560 No, we share that. You know, I actually, I saw 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:10.500 you perform recently, maybe at the improv or something like that. 0:10:10.640 --> 0:10:12.000 Oh yeah, we were doing a show because I was 0:10:12.020 --> 0:10:14.040 looking for you, but I missed you. Where were you? 0:10:14.580 --> 0:10:17.930 You were there for my show. For my set. Yeah. 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:19.740 But weren't you on the line? Yeah, I think I 0:10:19.760 --> 0:10:21.920 went on right after you. Did I not? I think 0:10:21.940 --> 0:10:23.699 I had a set at the comedy store, so I 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:27.520 was going piggybacking. So I ran right out. Watching your 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:29.660 set the entire time, I was like, I can see 0:10:29.700 --> 0:10:32.140 how Han and Yamanika are friends. Yeah. I don't know 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:36.040 if that's what you were hoping for. But I was like, 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.420 I could see them having a good time together. 0:10:38.450 --> 0:10:40.069 We have a great time together. 0:10:40.090 --> 0:10:41.929 We get really stupid together. 0:10:41.950 --> 0:10:42.030 Yeah. 0:10:42.510 --> 0:10:45.089 And we're like, it's like a modern day version of 0:10:45.230 --> 0:10:45.630 Ab Fab. 0:10:45.809 --> 0:10:46.350 Yeah, okay. 0:10:46.410 --> 0:10:48.850 Like, do you remember Alpha? I'm so sorry. Okay, this 0:10:48.910 --> 0:10:51.390 is an old British comedy where there's just two drunk whores. 0:10:51.790 --> 0:10:55.090 You know what I mean? You're just drinking, smoking weed. 0:10:55.190 --> 0:10:57.920 And I mean, they're like, you know, they have money 0:10:58.059 --> 0:10:59.940 and then they go out and they get really sloppy. 0:11:00.059 --> 0:11:03.140 And that's how I view Yamanika and myself together. 0:11:03.360 --> 0:11:04.280 Yeah, basically. 0:11:04.980 --> 0:11:06.819 I want to talk about your special, which is called 0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:08.520 Toxically Optimistic. 0:11:08.580 --> 0:11:11.400 It's produced by the Obamas. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you 0:11:11.470 --> 0:11:11.610 so much. 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:15.190 It is an A-plus special. There are so many specials out. 0:11:15.650 --> 0:11:17.910 And coming out every week, there's a new. 0:11:17.730 --> 0:11:18.990 Bombardment of a special. 0:11:19.550 --> 0:11:22.070 And it is so nice to see a woman who 0:11:22.170 --> 0:11:26.910 is fucking sharp, razor sharp, razor funny, telling it like 0:11:26.980 --> 0:11:29.719 it is with fucking hilarious stories. 0:11:29.380 --> 0:11:32.050 About your life. Thank you. Yeah, I loved it. Oh, 0:11:32.059 --> 0:11:34.300 thank you. I loved all your callbacks. I mean, it 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:37.000 was just really fun. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, we 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.360 need more of that. Thank you so much. I'm really 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:41.700 proud of it. You should be. Yeah, I'm really, really 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.520 proud of it. You know, like in editing, you watch 0:11:44.580 --> 0:11:47.640 it over and over and over again. And I had 0:11:47.660 --> 0:11:49.480 to ask myself, like I had to ask like, do 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:51.760 I love myself too much? Because I never got tired 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:54.620 of watching it. Oh, good. That's great. I'm talking about, 0:11:54.980 --> 0:11:56.510 I may have watched it like 20 times because I 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:59.260 don't even, I hate to say this, but. I don't 0:11:59.300 --> 0:12:02.360 really trust men like that, even editors. You know what 0:12:02.380 --> 0:12:03.630 I'm saying? Like, I know you said you did it, 0:12:03.780 --> 0:12:06.319 but let me look and see if you actually did 0:12:06.380 --> 0:12:08.700 what you were supposed to do. My editing team was great, 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:11.170 but I watched it so many times. And I remember, like, 0:12:11.210 --> 0:12:14.930 maybe the second to the last time, I was like, ugh. Okay, 0:12:14.970 --> 0:12:18.030 sit down. Buckle up. You got to watch this hour again. 0:12:18.090 --> 0:12:20.830 It's hard to watch yourself sometimes. It's hard, especially on repeat. 0:12:20.970 --> 0:12:23.230 I understand. Ten minutes in, Chelsea, I was like, I 0:12:23.290 --> 0:12:28.690 love this girl. I was like, I like her. I 0:12:28.710 --> 0:12:31.770 want to be around her. Yeah, I like that too. Yeah, yeah. 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:34.439 I like your take on men also, which, I mean, 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:36.579 we're all in a similar phase with men at this 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:38.660 point in our lives. Well, not that we're at the 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:41.500 same point in our lives, just culturally, I think. We're 0:12:41.540 --> 0:12:45.340 just kind of... men are really having to prove that 0:12:45.380 --> 0:12:47.609 they're of value and worth spending our time. 0:12:47.830 --> 0:12:48.730 Oh, for sure. 0:12:49.330 --> 0:12:53.790 And you talk about your sister, who's neurodivergent in the special, 0:12:53.870 --> 0:12:55.890 and you talk, she's been proposed to three times. 0:12:55.929 --> 0:12:57.910 Three times, yeah. Which is, and how many, have you 0:12:57.929 --> 0:13:03.339 been proposed? I have been proposed to no time. I 0:13:03.380 --> 0:13:06.950 have had conversations about marriage. You know, but no one 0:13:06.990 --> 0:13:09.589 has ever gotten down on one knee and had a 0:13:09.670 --> 0:13:12.670 ring and been like, will you marry me? But I've 0:13:12.710 --> 0:13:15.970 had two or three conversations where it's like, is this 0:13:16.010 --> 0:13:18.870 something you're interested in? What would that look like? You know, 0:13:18.890 --> 0:13:22.610 stuff like that, but not a proposal. Those don't count. 0:13:22.670 --> 0:13:25.130 Okay, but what are your thoughts on marriage? Talk to 0:13:25.170 --> 0:13:28.450 us about what would you do? I mean, yeah, just 0:13:28.470 --> 0:13:29.209 give us your thoughts. 0:13:29.270 --> 0:13:32.689 On marriage? Yeah, in our current state of affairs in 0:13:32.730 --> 0:13:37.030 this world, country. So I feel like my thoughts on 0:13:37.070 --> 0:13:39.650 marriage haven't changed even given what's happening in the world. 0:13:39.990 --> 0:13:42.250 I feel like love is love and marriage is not love. 0:13:42.809 --> 0:13:45.230 Although a marriage can have love. I think that marriage, 0:13:45.350 --> 0:13:48.510 and I don't think people like me talking about this, 0:13:48.550 --> 0:13:52.720 but I believe that marriage is a contract. This between 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:56.740 three people, the parties that think that they're in love 0:13:57.000 --> 0:14:00.120 and then the state. And I think that that is 0:14:00.340 --> 0:14:04.980 very different than marriage. just a love relationship. You know, 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:08.000 I personally would like to be married. I'm going to 0:14:08.059 --> 0:14:13.350 get him to sign a prenup though, because I feel 0:14:13.390 --> 0:14:15.290 like I, I'm going to have a lot to lose, 0:14:15.790 --> 0:14:17.830 you know, but I do believe in love. And I 0:14:17.870 --> 0:14:20.330 do think marriage is like sweet. If you find the 0:14:20.350 --> 0:14:25.290 right person, I recently heard like another funny woman, like online, 0:14:25.310 --> 0:14:28.080 you know, like a content creator said like, um, Now 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:31.050 my standards, now that I'm older, my standards have gotten 0:14:31.390 --> 0:14:35.000 higher for men. And that hasn't been my experience. My 0:14:35.020 --> 0:14:40.000 standards have always been high. And... That's probably why I'm 0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:44.160 perpetually single because I don't feel... I didn't go through 0:14:44.180 --> 0:14:46.140 the phase of like, I'm going to just deal with 0:14:46.180 --> 0:14:48.820 a bunch of guys who ain't shit and then I'm 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:51.380 going to grow out of it. I've always looked for 0:14:51.420 --> 0:14:55.210 somebody who was worth something. I'm with you on that. 0:14:55.730 --> 0:14:57.810 I don't date a bunch of losers either. I've never... 0:14:57.670 --> 0:15:00.190 I've been single... I can go like a year with 0:15:00.230 --> 0:15:02.610 being single and have no problem with it. Whereas. 0:15:03.050 --> 0:15:06.110 I have friends who, yeah, who like, well, Yamanika is 0:15:06.190 --> 0:15:07.170 a perfect example. 0:15:07.210 --> 0:15:09.050 She likes to keep things going. She's like, I need, 0:15:09.380 --> 0:15:10.660 I'm like, no, no, no. 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:13.460 Until you are set and down with yourself, you're not 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:16.240 going to meet anybody that's worthwhile. You know, anybody that's 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:19.320 bringing anything to the table for you. And it's not desperate. 0:15:19.950 --> 0:15:22.890 We don't need to be desperate because what we're bringing, 0:15:22.980 --> 0:15:27.080 like two professional women and the self-confidence and the work 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:29.280 that I'm assuming you've done on yourself because you have 0:15:29.300 --> 0:15:33.119 your shit together. It's like, it's not, you have to 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:33.780 have high standards. 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:36.880 It's like, I'm not delusional, right? I don't think their 0:15:36.900 --> 0:15:39.100 relationships are supposed to be perfect, but I think that 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:41.860 they should feel good. And like, it doesn't feel good 0:15:41.950 --> 0:15:45.050 to know that you're embarrassed by your partner. It doesn't 0:15:45.090 --> 0:15:48.140 feel good to know that like, You know, like every 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:53.150 time you're paying for it, that doesn't feel good. And 0:15:53.210 --> 0:15:57.570 I feel like embarrassment of self is worse than public embarrassment, 0:15:57.690 --> 0:16:00.070 you know? So it's like, yeah, I want to feel good. 0:16:00.090 --> 0:16:02.730 If I'm going to invite you into my life, I 0:16:02.770 --> 0:16:05.390 want to feel good. I mean, I hate to be cliche, 0:16:05.410 --> 0:16:08.280 but I can do bad by myself. But I'm actually 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:10.860 doing really good by myself. So why would I bring 0:16:10.900 --> 0:16:14.020 you over here to add badness to that, you know? 0:16:14.140 --> 0:16:15.040 Yeah, yeah. 0:16:15.060 --> 0:16:21.460 Yeah. So what kind of guys do you like? What 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:23.900 kind of guys do you typically date? Do you have 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:26.240 a type? I think I do have like a physical type. 0:16:26.260 --> 0:16:27.540 Would you ever date a comedian? 0:16:27.660 --> 0:16:31.370 No, I don't think so. I mean, we got to 0:16:31.390 --> 0:16:32.490 make sure and clarify that. 0:16:32.750 --> 0:16:41.250 Yeah, I don't think that I would date a comedian. No. No. No, 0:16:41.450 --> 0:16:45.470 and not to shame any of the male comedians. Oh, no. 0:16:45.730 --> 0:16:48.850 There's definitely a type. Male comedians. Like male comics, there's 0:16:48.870 --> 0:16:49.590 definitely a type. 0:16:49.670 --> 0:16:51.790 And they're not all bad. There's some great male comics 0:16:51.850 --> 0:16:54.330 out there. But most of them are depressed. 0:16:54.370 --> 0:16:59.450 They're a couple. They're a couple. Marc Maron's not disgusting. 0:16:59.510 --> 0:17:02.380 You know what I mean? John Mulaney's not disgusting. These 0:17:02.410 --> 0:17:02.740 are nice. 0:17:02.770 --> 0:17:06.230