Speaker 1: This is exactly right. Are leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way, we.
Speaker 2: Want to be there.
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter how.
Speaker 2: Much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 2: terminal engage.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off instat. We want to
Speaker 1: welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine? Melbourne?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris?
Speaker 1: What to think about that? On the super Brat.
Speaker 3: One one two?
Speaker 1: But what huh?
Speaker 3: What huh? Here we go, Here we go, Here we go.
Speaker 3: My name is Chris, and I'm here to say I'm
Speaker 3: terrible rapping tag the like away. It's better the first stime.
Speaker 3: When I'm freestyle wrapping, I try not to pre planet
Speaker 3: yes or put on some fake voice. Okay, welcome to
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: This is Karen Kilgarra.
Speaker 3: You're taking a left on a street. Yes, we have
Speaker 3: a mobile podcast.
Speaker 1: Can you believe it?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Three legged dog now just a plain old four legged dog.
Speaker 3: Well, maybe keep our fingers crossed next time. Next time.
Speaker 3: If she keeps daywalking like that, we can get the
Speaker 3: dog we want.
Speaker 1: Next time. I'll call out a suggestion to her.
Speaker 6: Yeah, amputee dogs make more money on Instagram, ma'am.
Speaker 3: Yeah, something like that. She hopefully would, yes, and that
Speaker 3: I know do agro.
Speaker 5: I am.
Speaker 1: Well, there's a lady just warning a slip. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: that is today.
Speaker 3: She forgot the outer layer of her dress. That is
Speaker 3: a slip. But you know what, I'm not a shamer.
Speaker 6: Good good for you.
Speaker 3: Look at that she can you know, so she is.
Speaker 3: That's just one of those American apparel shiny shiny dresses.
Speaker 6: I see.
Speaker 3: They used to be a slip back in the eighties.
Speaker 1: Thank you for explaining clothes to me, Chris, Women's clothes.
Speaker 3: Now, don't get me started on underpants. Back in the
Speaker 3: fifties they were called bloomers, but the wires used to
Speaker 3: stick in every lady's bah boosom.
Speaker 6: Oh, so many bosoms were killed in the fifties. Yeah,
Speaker 6: because of bloomer injuries. And then they created the wireless underpant.
Speaker 7: The Yes, over seven million women were pulled. Yeah, it
Speaker 7: wasn't there, it was I think maybe not. It was
Speaker 7: certainly worn with under a dress, but it was a
Speaker 7: spring stool that you sat on.
Speaker 3: Do you know what that's called? Do you mean that
Speaker 3: like back in the days, like the ladies on the
Speaker 3: old Windy's tabletops?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 6: Do you mean like the hoops in their hoopskirts that
Speaker 6: kept the skirt from there was an old timey dress.
Speaker 3: No, that had a big like a butt, like a
Speaker 3: button goiter, but it was made of springs and you
Speaker 3: would sit on, oh, a bustle. Yes, is it called
Speaker 3: a bustle?
Speaker 6: That was I think that was more like the eighteen hundreds,
Speaker 6: like the mid to late eighteen hundreds, and the bustles
Speaker 6: were like because you were supposed to have this big
Speaker 6: old rump. It was very like you know, I don't
Speaker 6: want to say symbolic. I don't think that's the right
Speaker 6: and phrase.
Speaker 3: Everyone wanted one, and so around Christmas time people were
Speaker 3: hustling to get the.
Speaker 8: Bus and that's where the phrase mussel and bustle. Yes,
Speaker 8: a lot of people don't know these things today.
Speaker 3: Yes, if we give you nothing else, it's false information.
Speaker 1: That's right now. Can I tell a true story that
Speaker 1: really is a true thing that happened to me?
Speaker 3: Yes, thank you.
Speaker 1: Wait, first I could get myself onto the two.
Speaker 3: It's the kind of comedy people like hearing these days.
Speaker 3: Truth based story, truth based.
Speaker 1: It's more helpful, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, one liners have never helped anyone. You hear that,
Speaker 3: Mitch Edberg, so fun.
Speaker 6: Rip, so fine, if you would find the exit that
Speaker 6: we need to take off the two, because we're getting
Speaker 6: onto the two.
Speaker 1: Now, all right, which is one of my more favorite.
Speaker 1: Of course, everyone knows.
Speaker 6: That the one ten is I mean sorry, the one
Speaker 6: oh five is my favorite freeway, but it's too It's
Speaker 6: like no one knows about it. Yeah, same, and the
Speaker 6: two is not far behind, but it does have much.
Speaker 1: More traffic on it.
Speaker 3: No, my favorite?
Speaker 5: Which one?
Speaker 3: Then we get your truth zerum?
Speaker 1: Yeah, story, that's what I call that new segment.
Speaker 6: Zerum.
Speaker 3: I like the ninety the nineties. Yeah, the Marina Freeway.
Speaker 3: You go straight to my front step for real, back
Speaker 3: when I lived with all those retired boat captains.
Speaker 1: The ninety What does that go along the water?
Speaker 3: It goes basically from the corner of Sloughs and where
Speaker 3: that Fox Hills Mall is in Culver City. It starts
Speaker 3: there and just goes like four miles to Lincoln Boulevard.
Speaker 3: But it's a full part, six lane freeway that's just
Speaker 3: for the locals. It's like those those retire rich boat
Speaker 3: captains just made their own freeway because they were tired
Speaker 3: of it, said sagging through town.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean look, and who could blame them? It's
Speaker 1: they called the ninety.
Speaker 3: Yes, the ninety.
Speaker 4: Never heard of it.
Speaker 1: I've lived here for twenty five years.
Speaker 3: It's the ninety. It's great, aka the Marina Freeway.
Speaker 1: I love it. Okay, next time I'm over there, I'm
Speaker 1: going to hop on and then hop back off.
Speaker 5: It's just right.
Speaker 3: The only way you can stay on it is if
Speaker 3: you get a flat.
Speaker 1: And if you have a kind of commitment do it.
Speaker 1: It's a whole different experience.
Speaker 3: Tell your truth story.
Speaker 6: Fine, exit. Also it's not for a little bit, okay,
Speaker 6: true story number one. Also, the name of my new
Speaker 6: acoustic album.
Speaker 1: Is that I was driving up now.
Speaker 6: I tweeted this, So it's a little irritating because I'm
Speaker 6: doing a tweet, but it really happened on that day.
Speaker 3: Of tweets on that it's a scam and I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: The thing is that if I'm excited enough to tweet
Speaker 1: about it, it really happened, and I want to talk
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: Like the tweets, they want to hear the story.
Speaker 1: So this is a behind the tweet story that I
Speaker 1: love to tell.
Speaker 6: So I'm going over the office yesterday I think it was,
Speaker 6: and I'm going up Western, which is the way I
Speaker 6: found is the fastest way to get from my house
Speaker 6: to the office, right, because I've gone many many ways
Speaker 6: and they all took forty five minutes. So going up
Speaker 6: Western for miraculously, in the middle of the day on
Speaker 6: a Friday, there's this huge patch with no traffic, like
Speaker 6: literally no cars coming or going on to Western.
Speaker 3: You thought something, what's wrong?
Speaker 6: Well, it looked absolutely like the apocalypse sure or armageddon whichever,
Speaker 6: or the what's the one where harmagedton.
Speaker 3: I think is what they used to call it. Remember
Speaker 3: that was something they recorded about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, getting that's when all the cars are there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is the reverse. This is anti Carmageddon.
Speaker 5: Oh wow, this is no cars.
Speaker 1: So it looks like the what what's the thing when
Speaker 1: everybody gets called up to heaven?
Speaker 6: Stephen The Leftovers, Yes TV series, The lefts Okay, okay,
Speaker 6: no cars. One dude, very tall skateboarding up Western all
Speaker 6: by himself.
Speaker 1: I'll cross all four to six lanes.
Speaker 3: It seems like my guy right so too tall. He
Speaker 3: I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm coming up on him, but I'm slowing down.
Speaker 6: He's getting over to the right, and as he's getting
Speaker 6: over it, turns around because here's my car. And then
Speaker 6: he turns all he turned like, turns himself around on
Speaker 6: the skateboard, looks at me and gives me a salute
Speaker 6: as as I pass him, and as he continues going
Speaker 6: forward right now backward.
Speaker 3: Full fingers together and straight, very official looking military salute,
Speaker 3: but backwards.
Speaker 6: He's now standing backwards on his skateboard. It was the
Speaker 6: coolest thing I've ever seen. I immediately pointed at him
Speaker 6: like that next one.
Speaker 1: Do you have any true stories from after?
Speaker 4: That? Was it?
Speaker 3: I just found out he used to be in the
Speaker 3: military and then starts skating.
Speaker 1: None of that part happened. All I did was point
Speaker 1: it as he me. I then pointed at him, and
Speaker 1: it kind of.
Speaker 6: In a way that reminded me of Ursula the Sea Witch,
Speaker 6: where I did one kind of pinky fourth finger, third
Speaker 6: finger point, very dramatic. Yes, I think he really got it.
Speaker 6: Oh that's great, but no, it was just really exciting
Speaker 6: because it was just him and me open road on
Speaker 6: Western and he decided to have some fun with it.
Speaker 6: And That's what I'm looking for in the world in
Speaker 6: my life.
Speaker 1: EXPERI and I.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm a skateboarder, so I already, but I
Speaker 3: appreciate that that made you feel That made you feel good.
Speaker 3: I've ever seen a similar situation to that happened where
Speaker 3: this kid just grabbed onto my wheel well and just
Speaker 3: nodded at me as if it was totally normal to
Speaker 3: be doing that. And I nodded at him, and I
Speaker 3: drove and he gave me a thumbs up to go faster.
Speaker 3: I towed him up a San Francisco street and then
Speaker 3: he immediately belined it down the hill into traffic, and
Speaker 3: that felt pretty cool. It was like, Hey, we're buddies.
Speaker 3: He didn't know I skated, he didn't know I knew
Speaker 3: the lingo or the shoes. Yeah, it was it was great.
Speaker 5: I was there.
Speaker 3: I was doing shows on my own and before that
Speaker 3: with Caitlin and Jackie, and it was the funnest time.
Speaker 1: Gil Jackiecasion.
Speaker 3: Yes, and they are just the best. And I had
Speaker 3: so much fun. And then I stuck around San Francisco
Speaker 3: and did some a show in Mill Valley, which I
Speaker 3: would like to talk about. No one in the audience
Speaker 3: was under fifty, and they were all at least fiscally conservative.
Speaker 3: But it's funny because it's like we're bill weird and grateful,
Speaker 3: dead guys retire and now it's a rich person place
Speaker 3: he'd be conservative. It was interesting. I didn't want to
Speaker 3: have to talk about politics with anyone, but I I
Speaker 3: skated right at this these docks next to the USS
Speaker 3: Hornet which picked up Buzz Aldrin and I think Neil
Speaker 3: Armstrong in the center of the ocean. So it's this
Speaker 3: haunted old museum on a on an aircraft carrier and
Speaker 3: there's I skated right with that in the background, and
Speaker 3: with the breeze flowing, there's just these perfect skate obstacles.
Speaker 3: It was almost like someone built it for a skateboarding
Speaker 3: but it was just like it was right there by
Speaker 3: the boats. It was beautiful. Oh, it was beautiful. It
Speaker 3: really made me great. Yeah, oh cool Alameda specifically. And
Speaker 3: then we're going to take a left up here, okay
Speaker 3: on the remember when the street was funny and mad, Yeah,
Speaker 3: now it's grumpy Chevy chase. Take a left, and then
Speaker 3: from that we will get more. I won't be as
Speaker 3: audible about it because we an't want people to hunt
Speaker 3: down and attack our our guest. Who's going to be
Speaker 3: Dave Ross.
Speaker 1: He's going to be so attackable.
Speaker 3: I can't wait to talk to Dave. We have him
Speaker 3: on months before. So many things have happened since at
Speaker 3: the time, I believe he was selling a fake campaign
Speaker 3: sign that that didn't it say like literally anyone else
Speaker 3: or something it was.
Speaker 6: I don't it was like twenty sixteen, I don't know,
Speaker 6: not Trump though, yeah, right, cho, Yeah, you have had
Speaker 6: good memory.
Speaker 1: I thought that was the funniest thing ever.
Speaker 5: It was great.
Speaker 3: I was paraphrasing it. I don't know if it's paraphrasing.
Speaker 3: If you're adding words and misquoting the whole thing, I think.
Speaker 1: That's just I think that is paraphrasing. Yeah, and taking liberties.
Speaker 3: And taking or being illiterate.
Speaker 8: It's all those things here everything, And then we're going
Speaker 8: to take a rite at the hospital.
Speaker 3: No, I'm a diagonal, so getting the right lane.
Speaker 1: Okay, And what a gorgeous area Dave lazing it really is?
Speaker 1: What if Dave lived at the hospital, What if that's
Speaker 1: how we found out he was injured.
Speaker 3: Here's my address, and it's just in traction. He just
Speaker 3: wanted visitors at the hospital orderly throw him in the backseat.
Speaker 6: Dave, you should have told us that you were in
Speaker 6: a terrible car accident. I didn't want your pity.
Speaker 3: In these orderlies. It's like they don't really work here.
Speaker 3: What's Oh, that's just the fat boys. Oh you remember
Speaker 3: the movie Disorderly? Sure? Sure, who doesn't?
Speaker 1: Who couldn't?
Speaker 3: Boy, It's like he lives right here.
Speaker 1: He has an album coming out with some of my
Speaker 1: favorite album cover art I've read.
Speaker 3: It's an amazing does so much job of like like
Speaker 3: making these little animations to promote it.
Speaker 5: I text.
Speaker 6: I just texted him and said and said we're outside,
Speaker 6: and he said, okay, I'm only twenty minutes away.
Speaker 1: Oh that's so funny, which is something I would do
Speaker 1: in real life.
Speaker 3: Well, should we pause for a moment.
Speaker 1: No, he's joking.
Speaker 3: Oh that's right.
Speaker 1: I mean it really seemed like he was joking. I
Speaker 1: can't imagine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that would be funny. I don't think he's
Speaker 3: just it's a very real it's hard to read tone
Speaker 3: in text jokes.
Speaker 1: That's exactly where you can't read it. Right, and that's
Speaker 1: why so many people get divorced.
Speaker 3: It's it's never gonna work out if you're in a
Speaker 3: phone based long distance marriage, No fucking way, just because
Speaker 3: of the communication. They don't make a font for sarcasm.
Speaker 5: No, they need to.
Speaker 6: And you know what's funny is, even if you consider
Speaker 6: yourself to have a great sense of humor, few of
Speaker 6: us get sarcasm when it matters most. I've had so
Speaker 6: many times where I read and reread like it's someone
Speaker 6: that I know a little bit but not really well.
Speaker 6: And then I'm like, they could be joking and they
Speaker 6: could be serious, and I have no idea, Like the
Speaker 6: floor drops out from underneath the fun text thread because
Speaker 6: you're just like, I don't now, I.
Speaker 1: Don't know what's going on.
Speaker 3: He said he is home.
Speaker 1: Oh good, I mean I believe he's feeding his cat.
Speaker 3: He's walking out. Now, do you want to go a place?
Speaker 1: Are you happy?
Speaker 3: Asshole's I'm in him, like in the inner space, I
Speaker 3: am Martin short very right now, I'm floating in his
Speaker 3: urethra There he is. He's walking in front of the car, Karen,
Speaker 3: he's raving guitars can now yay day?
Speaker 1: Sorry?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the old locked door prank.
Speaker 1: We have plugged you right up to the locked door.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Hi, Hi Daviut.
Speaker 1: That's Stephen.
Speaker 5: Do you know Stephen?
Speaker 3: Yeah, alright, he did his podcast a while ago.
Speaker 5: And also we were just emailing about it happening again.
Speaker 3: Wow, speaking of happening again, this is your second time
Speaker 3: on the podcast. We've already recapped some of the stuff.
Speaker 3: Last time. You had that campaign sign that was going
Speaker 3: viral and people were ripping it off. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: look out suck. Sorry, that was close.
Speaker 1: Jesus you want to die? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 6: Can I just say though, if that like, if a
Speaker 6: cops had to come to that accident that was an
Speaker 6: asshole that saw a person trying to back out of
Speaker 6: a driveway onto the street, they passed them on the.
Speaker 3: Yep, Oh yeah, that sucked. In their defense, we were
Speaker 3: on the wrong side of the road but knew he
Speaker 3: was backing into the street. Oh, let's go, let's follow him.
Speaker 3: That's it, It's finally gonna happen.
Speaker 5: Karen. I'm with you in the sense of, like, here's
Speaker 5: the thing. You were completely in the wrong, you know what.
Speaker 3: I mean, It.
Speaker 1: Would not have allowed this if I know.
Speaker 3: But that's being said, I am, I am.
Speaker 4: I think human kindness and an understanding of what's going
Speaker 4: on was not displayed, was not displayed, and it's more
Speaker 4: important than following the fucking rule exactly.
Speaker 1: Well, can I just say, how do you back out
Speaker 1: of that parking driveway? Oh?
Speaker 4: I never back out as I just drive in and
Speaker 4: park in my spot and then I turn around in
Speaker 4: there and come out head first.
Speaker 6: Got it?
Speaker 3: But tell me will you back now?
Speaker 6: I will?
Speaker 1: Will you back me up by backing out next time?
Speaker 5: Absolutely?
Speaker 3: No, I won't back down.
Speaker 4: I actually feel the way you you felt about that.
Speaker 4: With a lot of traffic stuff, like like something that
Speaker 4: happens in La a lot is traffic will back up
Speaker 4: across an intersection and cars won't be paying attention and
Speaker 4: they'll drive through the intersection and then they'll just be
Speaker 4: stopped in the middle. Then the light will change and
Speaker 4: then they're in the middle of the intersection, blocking people.
Speaker 4: And something that drives me so insane is that then
Speaker 4: the people that are blocked in start honking yeah, and
Speaker 4: I'm just like, yeah, they were wrong, But what do
Speaker 4: you think is gonna happen here?
Speaker 3: Yeah? They're the people in front of you? Yeah, h
Speaker 3: in front of me. Get on the sidewink.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make you regret this email.
Speaker 3: We're watching a fender that person fall asleep.
Speaker 1: No, that's just the la thing he wants to get over.
Speaker 1: So he's just getting over. It's kind of what I
Speaker 1: did earlier. That it is down here.
Speaker 3: That's the thing, Karen, you were wrong. But there's a
Speaker 3: thing called human decency, and it goes beyond our man
Speaker 3: made traffic laws.
Speaker 5: Traffic laws are man made. They're not God's laws.
Speaker 1: This is you like to thank God had anything to
Speaker 1: do with it, But this is all the Devil's one.
Speaker 3: And then on the fifth he created an unprotected left
Speaker 3: last night. Oh yeah, it's a tweet.
Speaker 5: It's a tweet. We do a lot about out here
Speaker 5: saying tweets.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we do tweet repeats.
Speaker 5: That's what we like to call it on the show,
Speaker 5: tweet repeat.
Speaker 1: I like it, Dabe, what's going on?
Speaker 5: Oh man?
Speaker 3: What is your album?
Speaker 5: My album is new. That's what I've been working on
Speaker 5: the most.
Speaker 1: How much traffic material do you do on it?
Speaker 5: Oh man? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Track one is called traffic and track two is called airplanes.
Speaker 3: So you heighten it.
Speaker 5: Literally if you're not in Karen Kilgarriff's first album.
Speaker 3: WHOA Wow. And that's the one where you just do
Speaker 3: her material.
Speaker 5: Absolutely.
Speaker 4: Uh no, it's yeah, that's what I've been working on
Speaker 4: and that just came out, and so today I've just
Speaker 4: been kind of chilling.
Speaker 3: Now go ahead.
Speaker 1: My question is did you record it? Is it one show?
Speaker 1: Did you collect up a bunch of different performances?
Speaker 5: It's two shows?
Speaker 4: I like, Yeah, I did the thing that's so scary,
Speaker 4: which is I I had two shows in a row
Speaker 4: in one night, and I announced that it was the album.
Speaker 5: Recording, so everyone in the room knew.
Speaker 4: So it was terrifying for all of us, right, you know,
Speaker 4: everyone in the room, including me, felt a great deal
Speaker 4: of pressure for it to be good, more so than
Speaker 4: a regular show.
Speaker 3: Yeah. It's hard to do it as a secret though,
Speaker 3: because you got microphones and absolutely and unless you hide
Speaker 3: them under the seat. But what are you oprah?
Speaker 4: Well yeah, and then if you don't make it a
Speaker 4: big public thing, then people don't know it's a big
Speaker 4: deal and to support you and share.
Speaker 5: But I will say, even though that was all terrifying,
Speaker 5: it was cool.
Speaker 4: It was at the Echo. It was two shows in
Speaker 4: one night and eight and at ten and they both
Speaker 4: filled up and they were incredible. Yeah, it's weird. I mean,
Speaker 4: I think we're all. We all feel the same about
Speaker 4: stand up in this car. It's so fucking hard for
Speaker 4: me to feel good about something, and I feel good
Speaker 4: about that album.
Speaker 5: I feel very good.
Speaker 3: That's that's terrific. That's right, It's all about my special
Speaker 3: if I ever get that, damn, sang finished.
Speaker 5: Oh man, I want to see that so badly.
Speaker 3: But did you find that your album was mostly the
Speaker 3: second show. I'm just getting because you get that first
Speaker 3: one out of the way.
Speaker 5: No, it was actually mostly the first show.
Speaker 3: Wow, how different than what I thought.
Speaker 4: No, Yeah, I like everything. Well, you know, I mean
Speaker 4: it was a little bit of luck in that the
Speaker 4: first show was so electric. It might be the best
Speaker 4: show I've ever done.
Speaker 3: That's great.
Speaker 4: It filled up, and you know, it was just cool
Speaker 4: because I started stand up in La and and I
Speaker 4: came up here the whole way, and I'm like pretty
Speaker 4: loud about the fact that I'm an LA comic too,
Speaker 4: and so to like record at a venue in LA
Speaker 4: that I love and neighborhood that I love Like all
Speaker 4: other LA people I knew, saw that and came and
Speaker 4: were supportive and yeah, the difference between the first show
Speaker 4: and the second show. They were both good, but the
Speaker 4: second show was the one that was mostly comics, and
Speaker 4: so it was just like it was funny because the
Speaker 4: jokes did well, but what really did well the second
Speaker 4: show was when I.
Speaker 5: Like fucked up and uh and riffed and stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah and uh.
Speaker 5: And so that's the reason that the first one.
Speaker 3: Is at the show where you asked if they like
Speaker 3: country music and then one lady said yes, and you
Speaker 3: said that shit sucks at start chanting its own name.
Speaker 4: Actually I did that both shows, okay, and I dude, okay,
Speaker 4: So that is in my that was in my act.
Speaker 5: It's the beginning of a bit actually about how I
Speaker 5: like country music.
Speaker 4: But uh, I start that way, I say his Nathon
Speaker 4: like country and then usually someone whoops or says yes,
Speaker 4: and then I shame them, of course, but since it
Speaker 4: was on the album, I wanted to afford for any
Speaker 4: possibility because every now and then no one cheers, and
Speaker 4: then that's funny.
Speaker 5: But I need I wanted it on the album.
Speaker 4: So I called Jake Weisman and asked him to yell, yeah,
Speaker 4: that's crazy, yeah, and he was like sure, and I
Speaker 4: told him, thank you caring so sorry, like the concerned mother.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I love carpool. I always have.
Speaker 3: Satchel of overdue books.
Speaker 5: Well don't we all?
Speaker 1: It's what you're like.
Speaker 6: So wait, did Jake deliver? Was he good at delivering
Speaker 6: his line realistically?
Speaker 5: He did? But then luck there were other people.
Speaker 4: You can't really hear him because a couple other people
Speaker 4: were like, whoo yeah, Jake, I think purposely didn't do
Speaker 4: it that loud because I told him. I was like, look, man,
Speaker 4: this is a shitty thing I'm asking you because I'm
Speaker 4: going to immediately shame you after you yell the thing.
Speaker 5: I asked you to yell.
Speaker 3: I think that he, of all people, is okay with me,
Speaker 3: so do perhaps his lifeblood? Yeah, that's terrific. And I
Speaker 3: it's been really impressive the animations and the promoting. We
Speaker 3: texted and I was like, it took a long time
Speaker 3: for you to make that animated. I guess is it
Speaker 3: a gift?
Speaker 5: Is it a jiff?
Speaker 4: It's actually a series of stills, yes, that you flick
Speaker 4: through on Instagram story. I'm a very specific artist. I
Speaker 4: like to do things that are not as modern as
Speaker 4: the current technology we have. Well, and take way longer.
Speaker 3: It always looks good to do that, because essentially it's
Speaker 3: a flip book, which when I was a kid, I
Speaker 3: used to make that. I spent way too much time
Speaker 3: with those flip a cube like the post it note cube,
Speaker 3: and I just do scenes after scenes, and I always
Speaker 3: wished I still had them so I could scan them
Speaker 3: and do like you did, because you can.
Speaker 4: Tell Chris, Actually, I mean, I'm so sorry for doing this.
Speaker 4: What because this is such an intense plug. But I
Speaker 4: didn't make cdzer tapes with my alm. I literally made
Speaker 4: a flip book.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's cool. I'm gonna play it.
Speaker 1: It's like your dream is coming through.
Speaker 3: It's the Yeah, look at I'm a little happy kid.
Speaker 3: Look there's look it's moving.
Speaker 1: Dame's thing is moving.
Speaker 3: It's an optical ludar. He is his shirts over his face.
Speaker 3: Oh no, it circles clothes and then.
Speaker 1: He sunk into the flower.
Speaker 3: The flowers are depleting.
Speaker 5: I wish you people could see this.
Speaker 3: Oh and then a thing shot out. It's like a
Speaker 3: three D book. It's a download card at the end.
Speaker 1: Shoots into your lap. That was amazing, Chris, Happy birthday.
Speaker 3: Oh I hate that. I always make this podcast about me.
Speaker 5: That is so cool.
Speaker 3: It's great, what you guys for doing that.
Speaker 5: This is such a no, that's you. Come on, man,
Speaker 5: I really do all. You can keep that anyway, but
Speaker 5: that means you So.
Speaker 1: You're like, I'll take that back, thank you. Well, I
Speaker 1: only have four of these.
Speaker 3: Okay, So when you made the Instagram story animations and
Speaker 3: stuff where you were using these images that you had
Speaker 3: already or did you just do it again?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I mean I'm also I was a graphic designer for
Speaker 5: a long time.
Speaker 4: I guess, I mean I still technically Yeah, my job
Speaker 4: for radio DJ it was a radio DJ and I
Speaker 4: quit that. And then I was a web developer for
Speaker 4: a while and that, like graphic design was part of that.
Speaker 1: Dave, that's a real like adult job. One hit me
Speaker 1: with their car.
Speaker 4: Everyone today happening while recording a podcast is dangerous.
Speaker 3: We almost pulled a peptone with you.
Speaker 1: Did you choice to My choice to do an east
Speaker 1: west drive too is a terrible mistake. Here at sundown right,
Speaker 1: we are no Magellans. I think I should go left
Speaker 1: right to get toward Echo Bark.
Speaker 3: Whatever direction were away from the sun Glendale right.
Speaker 1: I just did a big weird you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so this is go left.
Speaker 4: Okay, absolutely, and you know what, just take this guy
Speaker 4: all the way down to San Fernando and bang a left.
Speaker 1: Holy ship day.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: So you're so, you're a graphic designer.
Speaker 6: You're sitting at your desk, You're dreaming of more, your
Speaker 6: sweatshirt is pulled up under your glasses, over your nose.
Speaker 5: There is.
Speaker 3: It's cool, that's great, I'm slipping through.
Speaker 5: I am, so you know, it's funny.
Speaker 4: The one thing about having made a flip book instead
Speaker 4: of a CD people buy is it's like another thing.
Speaker 4: So it's not like people are congratulating me on the
Speaker 4: record and stuff. But this is the first time I've
Speaker 4: been near someone else experiencing the flip book, and I'm
Speaker 4: so happy it was you.
Speaker 3: And I'm happy to see it because a long time
Speaker 3: ago I was talking to Ryan about doing an album
Speaker 3: and trying to do a graphic novel and have it
Speaker 3: be a book and not this straightforward though, where it's
Speaker 3: like just an apparatus to contain the At the time,
Speaker 3: people are still had CDs, and right right, I thought, well,
Speaker 3: maybe the CD could somehow be in the book, and
Speaker 3: it sounded like it would be very expensive. Did was
Speaker 3: this like? Did it makes.
Speaker 5: Definitely more expense? Damn?
Speaker 3: I do feel like it's something going on that was
Speaker 3: that girl was not stop our salts back Jesus this weekend.
Speaker 3: Only these people are doing the vehicular version of eating
Speaker 3: a naked man's face. But you've also been saying that
Speaker 3: generals all day.
Speaker 1: Was it expensive?
Speaker 5: Yeah, more so than other types of merchant. It was
Speaker 5: like buying him in book. It was like eight bucks
Speaker 5: a book.
Speaker 4: Or something, right, but it's worth It's very cool Ryan
Speaker 4: from a special thing, so cool.
Speaker 5: I was like, he's, hey, man, do you need me
Speaker 5: to like throw in on this or we can just
Speaker 5: not do it? And he was like, you know what, man,
Speaker 5: I'll lose money on this if I have to. I
Speaker 5: just want to flip that.
Speaker 1: He's such a good he's a visionary, he knows, he
Speaker 1: knows what to invest in.
Speaker 5: And why Grammy now he does? That's so insane. For
Speaker 5: whose album will Patton oh rat? Yeah, he put out
Speaker 5: the Patton Oswalt's album that won a Grammy, and so
Speaker 5: he has a Grammy. And he didn't tell me that.
Speaker 5: He told me that I would hate him.
Speaker 1: Right, he wouldn't.
Speaker 5: That's not his style.
Speaker 6: When the when him and Matt asked me to do
Speaker 6: an album, I was so honored, I was I almost cried.
Speaker 1: But you know, later on when they weren't around, not
Speaker 1: in front of them, never never, but.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, they would have immediately punched me in the
Speaker 6: arm as hard as they can't the recess round, just
Speaker 6: like over in the Tan Bark when they corner me
Speaker 6: at lunchtime, so specifically real, So you're on.
Speaker 1: The Special Thing Records label? Yes, how and how does
Speaker 1: that feel?
Speaker 5: It feels good? It feels really good. I like it.
Speaker 5: I Yeah.
Speaker 4: It's like flipping through their catalog the other day and
Speaker 4: it's just like, god damn, everything on here is so
Speaker 4: you know what I mean.
Speaker 5: It's like, Paul F.
Speaker 4: Tompkins is one of my favorite comedians of all time.
Speaker 4: All this stuff's on there.
Speaker 5: It's just great.
Speaker 3: That guy. Is he doing stand up? I think last
Speaker 3: time I saw him. I'm like, I'm just always trying
Speaker 3: to get everyone to do stand up. I know, I'm
Speaker 3: a person that wants to quit every other time doing it.
Speaker 5: So well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, when you love someone's stand up, all you want
Speaker 4: is for them to keep doing stand up and they
Speaker 4: it's so hard and has such a little monetary return
Speaker 4: that it's like the thing people.
Speaker 5: Are the readiest to quit right right, left heres, Sorry did.
Speaker 6: Interrupt you, Dave, But I just at Starbucks drive through
Speaker 6: and if we can get into that thing, we're doing it.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, it's kind of it's kind of what we do.
Speaker 1: It's kind of the whole premise of this podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not about you. It's about that sweet sweet.
Speaker 6: No.
Speaker 3: I know, I love making laugh regretting that.
Speaker 5: Laugh that is immediately followed by a yeah.
Speaker 3: It's like reacting to someone falling down.
Speaker 5: It's not except you're the one that fell down, one that.
Speaker 1: Fell down comedically.
Speaker 6: Oh well, then you know what, Dave, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 6: gonna steal your thunder right now and step in and
Speaker 6: tell you that. Because Chris has been trying to get
Speaker 6: me to start doing sets again, and I just ran
Speaker 6: to start a band, but true one step at a time.
Speaker 6: But I saw Mandy Johnson recently and she signed me
Speaker 6: up for the next Super serious. So in October, I
Speaker 6: have two months to write material and basically scramble together.
Speaker 5: Fifteen years ago.
Speaker 3: God, And that's what you can make it fresh, just
Speaker 3: out of tag.
Speaker 1: I don't have to just change guys.
Speaker 8: To dig into my post of the don't a stick
Speaker 8: is so crazy, just elaborate.
Speaker 5: So what's the deal with global warming not being so bad?
Speaker 5: You know those people?
Speaker 4: Okay, have to pause, absolutely sorry, absolutely, Oh yeah. I
Speaker 4: have this story a friend, Lewis, who's one of those
Speaker 4: people who is just like regular person, smart person, but
Speaker 4: just terrible at school and processing everything that had to
Speaker 4: do with school. I don't understand how he was this bad,
Speaker 4: but anyway, he uh, he went to school college in
Speaker 4: New York. I was in LA and I get this
Speaker 4: message from him at two in the morning. He's like, hey,
Speaker 4: I have a paper to turn in in three hours.
Speaker 5: Can you read this? And I was like sure, and
Speaker 5: I read it and I found an error in the title.
Speaker 4: The title was the Long Term Ramifications of the Continuation
Speaker 4: of Apartheid into the twenty first century. This happened in
Speaker 4: the year two thousand and I was like, I just wrote, Lewis,
Speaker 4: apartheid is over, and he wrote back.
Speaker 5: Fuck no.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: He read.
Speaker 4: He like researched the whole paper and like read books
Speaker 4: and stuff, and not in a single place did he
Speaker 4: discover that apartheid was over.
Speaker 1: So he's just like a couple of years behind it.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I guess it must have been because he like probably
Speaker 4: didn't use the internet and he probably read old books.
Speaker 3: I guess. Wow. It's so. I mean, in its defense,
Speaker 3: everyone just has all the information available immediately.
Speaker 4: But it was also the kind of thing where like
Speaker 4: you found out they're apart end, you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: Like there was a thing.
Speaker 5: I just knew.
Speaker 3: You've got to break them the good news, no thing
Speaker 3: that's true to him. It's almost like you and yeah,
Speaker 3: well you don't know that I didn't. Well, actually, you
Speaker 3: know I have done enough research.
Speaker 5: You know you haven't.
Speaker 1: Scart oh time do you? Doesn't even need a straw?
Speaker 5: No, thank you, no, thanks, thank you so much forgot
Speaker 5: Starbucks gives you a sippy cup.
Speaker 3: Now I know, I like it straws.
Speaker 1: The infantilization has begun.
Speaker 5: Absolutely.
Speaker 1: What's that word infantilization?
Speaker 6: Yeah, after I finished, I'm gonna go girl, Like, well,
Speaker 6: I lots of people talk about this in act, but
Speaker 6: it's that thing of like when you're constantly holding a Starbucks,
Speaker 6: it's essentially like your baba that you hold onto a day,
Speaker 6: lying and suck off of and are addicted to and
Speaker 6: it's that and then all of the like you know,
Speaker 6: comic book movies and video game culture and everything that
Speaker 6: it's just like, nobody has to be older than eight
Speaker 6: years old if they don't want to be.
Speaker 3: I want to have like a blouse like shirt with
Speaker 3: a cameousol on it that I left and there's just
Speaker 3: a camelback of coffee where my breast would be.
Speaker 1: Sorry, like female breast.
Speaker 9: There's no there's no questions that you're right. If it
Speaker 9: wasn't your male bas breast, I'd be drinking my own milk.
Speaker 9: Of course, wow, some man coffee.
Speaker 5: So it will be inside your it would be in
Speaker 5: your tits.
Speaker 3: Camelback as a brand, it's a back a camel Let
Speaker 3: me tell a lot of guys. A lot of guys
Speaker 3: use it well hiking.
Speaker 1: Do you wear it against your skin?
Speaker 3: You can't usually wear we can sower, No, but go ahead.
Speaker 3: I have a taped around my chest with dug tape
Speaker 3: like it's some sort of contraband.
Speaker 5: Like, so it's gonna be in the same position as
Speaker 5: your boobs.
Speaker 3: There's a man riding a bike with no tires. He's
Speaker 3: simply riding.
Speaker 1: Who that was a rims ride?
Speaker 3: And that I don't know what that means. Doesn't mean
Speaker 3: he was the second to steal. He stole the bike,
Speaker 3: but the guy before him just stole the tires. But
Speaker 3: there is something, there's something going on.
Speaker 1: It must be a full moon to know what.
Speaker 3: Lights have been out everywhere. Something is going on with
Speaker 3: the grid.
Speaker 1: Someone calls city Hall.
Speaker 3: I think we figured it out. Get my big red phone.
Speaker 3: The commissioner needs to hear this.
Speaker 6: No, Dave, If tonight truly is the end of the world,
Speaker 6: will there be a final good heroine or will you
Speaker 6: guys say thanks to the bookstore, We're going to probably
Speaker 6: take us down the street and some drinking.
Speaker 4: Good heroin is happening rain shine or armageddon? Yeah, I've
Speaker 4: been saying that phrase. Here's how dedicated I am to
Speaker 4: stand up. I hope that I die performing I want
Speaker 4: to die on.
Speaker 3: Dave.
Speaker 6: Last week I talked about going to a trivia night
Speaker 6: and the first question was who's on the far right
Speaker 6: on Mount Rushmore?
Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know who's on Mount
Speaker 1: Rushmore or anything about anything.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like a nervous breakdown about actually not being smart,
Speaker 6: I mean really upsetting.
Speaker 5: That is exactly what happens to me every time I
Speaker 5: go to a trivia night. Yeah, I don't know any
Speaker 5: of the answers.
Speaker 4: I feel bad, right, and then I try to compensate
Speaker 4: for it in the way that I try to compensate
Speaker 4: for anything everything in my life, which is to be funny.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 5: But the problem is that when people go to a
Speaker 5: trivia night, they want you to shut the fuck up
Speaker 5: and try to answer the question.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 5: And I don't want to do anything where I can't
Speaker 5: joke around. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I like trivia knight, but I do know that I'm
Speaker 3: not good at it. And I have friends that I
Speaker 3: you know, they didn't totally excel in school or like
Speaker 3: go to college and learn a bunch of stuff, but
Speaker 3: they watch Jeopardy a lot and they just know that ship.
Speaker 3: It's like the topic keeps coming up.
Speaker 5: I can't do it.
Speaker 3: Friends have watched Jeopardy and they know everything. I'm like, what,
Speaker 3: why do I feel so dumb? You You've wore millions
Speaker 3: of dollars in your living room.
Speaker 1: It's it's mostly lakes.
Speaker 5: It's just lakes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just learn the ways.
Speaker 5: Baseball lakes and baseball basically.
Speaker 1: What all knowledge boils down and I refuse to participate.
Speaker 3: What is the Minnesota Twins?
Speaker 5: And the question was what president right now?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: Terrific ship, Oh the Minnesota Twins. I haven't thought about
Speaker 5: the Twins in a while. I wonder how they're doing
Speaker 5: this season. Yeah, good old Kirby Pucket Dude, I remember
Speaker 5: Kirby Puckett. What a cool name.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it really is.
Speaker 4: That was like when I cared about baseball back then,
Speaker 4: when I don't know, I was like last off the tongue.
Speaker 3: Kirby.
Speaker 1: Kirby is a baby's name that needs to come back.
Speaker 6: People are going to do all kinds of weird, crazy
Speaker 6: shit and random characters.
Speaker 1: How about just a Kirby baby name, isn't it?
Speaker 5: I would name my baby Kirby if the name changed
Speaker 5: when they were like eight.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right right, you can't.
Speaker 5: Kirby is unfair to a brown up to.
Speaker 1: A forty four year old?
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 6: In the Holiday and Breakfast isprest line, Kirby, please because
Speaker 6: I go Kirby, Kirby.
Speaker 1: Do you want this USA today or not?
Speaker 4: Actually, the more we say it, the more I think
Speaker 4: it's a great adult Kirby, Get more firewood, Kirby, Kurby
Speaker 4: R Dog.
Speaker 1: Kirby, Get up off the curb, get up off out
Speaker 1: of the curb.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Kirby. Do you like Kurby?
Speaker 6: Your enthusiasmby, that's why we call you Kirby.
Speaker 3: Maybe you have a baby, when do you get to
Speaker 3: name it?
Speaker 5: Day?
Speaker 3: Have you've been thinking about having a baby the.
Speaker 5: Name of Chris Fairbanks?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that would be the answer. That's right.
Speaker 4: First name Chris Fairbanks, last name Karen kil Garrett. Yes,
Speaker 4: I am so desperate to be like.
Speaker 1: That's how you do it? Sacrifice that baby.
Speaker 5: I don't know what I would name a kid. I yeah,
Speaker 5: I've never thought about it. I'm not even anywhere near that,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. McKenna Kenna, you got it? Okay,
Speaker 5: McKenna Ross, Yeah, that's good. Maybe I would.
Speaker 3: I don't know, McKenna. If it's a boy, mackenzie.
Speaker 5: What if I were saying to it Ross three times?
Speaker 6: Ross?
Speaker 5: Ross Ross?
Speaker 3: Why wouldn't you name your baby Glen carry o Glen?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 1: How about just Rick Ross Jr?
Speaker 4: Oh, God, get in there, Rick Ross Junior will be
Speaker 4: its first name? Rick Ross Junior.
Speaker 5: Ross. Because I'm deeply unfair as a person.
Speaker 3: What was Laurie Kill Martin's joke about Laurie Kill Martin.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think I'm pretty much told him.
Speaker 5: Yeah, do you do either of you have kids?
Speaker 1: Get to know us, Dave, I'm.
Speaker 3: So glad you said I left him outside to Dick.
Speaker 3: I am no. I've never no, never had a close call,
Speaker 3: never had a false alarm, never had a healthy sperm.
Speaker 5: N I didn't. I didn't ask any of those questions.
Speaker 6: Really really a prospects prospect I have never had said,
Speaker 6: dried up like kindling inside.
Speaker 3: My bloodline is just a dead end of the stack
Speaker 3: of dry wood.
Speaker 5: I was born.
Speaker 4: The doctor told my mother he's going to live a
Speaker 4: great life, but he will not have common Yes, your
Speaker 4: baby can't come, and he never will.
Speaker 3: He's basically shiny and sealed up like a kendle. It's amazing.
Speaker 3: We've never seen it. It looks pristine down there, his leg,
Speaker 3: he's made of wax from the waist down.
Speaker 5: It looks like we stand it it. Do either of
Speaker 5: you want kids? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Like I just started getting into him in the last
Speaker 3: couple of years.
Speaker 1: What Chris, don't go on about that.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, it's true. I've gone on about it.
Speaker 5: Chris. I'm I'm gonna pay you a compliment here.
Speaker 3: Okay, And is it that I'm a terrific father.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, no, you like, I don't know why I prefaced
Speaker 4: it that way. I just feel like I'm on your podcast.
Speaker 4: I wanted to warn I'm about to brown nose a
Speaker 4: little bit, you know what I mean. Now, you have
Speaker 4: this joke that I love that you've been doing lately.
Speaker 4: I don't know if you've been doing it very recently,
Speaker 4: but in the past year I've seen you do it
Speaker 4: a couple of times about redheaded kids.
Speaker 5: It's like one of my favorite jokes.
Speaker 3: It's it's but then it's so I can back out
Speaker 3: of it because for a moment it offends a lot
Speaker 3: of people. Right then I've figured out how to pull
Speaker 3: out of it.
Speaker 5: Oh you did, Oh okay, that's why you stopped doing that.
Speaker 1: Dave brought it up because he really really bothers him.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it triggers me.
Speaker 3: It hurt a lot of feeling a lot of pale
Speaker 3: skinned feelings.
Speaker 5: It's really funny, Like, I get it, and I will
Speaker 5: never tell someone.
Speaker 4: I will never like shit on someone or shame them
Speaker 4: for being triggered by something, because you know, it's very
Speaker 4: real for some people.
Speaker 5: But then also if you couldn't come up.
Speaker 3: With the reason because you know what, you know what,
Speaker 3: I'm actually coming up with nothing.
Speaker 4: But it's funny because I actually I've been through tons
Speaker 4: of shit in my life and I don't have that
Speaker 4: in my brain really, and so there is a certain
Speaker 4: amount where I'm like, yeah, you're talking about.
Speaker 3: Fucking kids who can't like I thank you. Again.
Speaker 5: I tell people I fuck kids all the time, and
Speaker 5: I don't fuck kids, and.
Speaker 4: I feel like that that's clear context has been created
Speaker 4: just by nature of me acting this way.
Speaker 5: But once again, it doesn't. I never think it's weird
Speaker 5: that people it. I just don't understand it personally.
Speaker 1: It feels like though people hating it since you know
Speaker 1: that is that is basically it's that guy driving on
Speaker 1: the left side of the right side of the.
Speaker 5: Car neat car, but he knows it is a British car.
Speaker 1: I believe, Yes, that man was shipped over here from Britain.
Speaker 3: He had a beautiful car, a nice jaw line, and
Speaker 3: his future looks bright, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because of that, your future looks dark.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, we can't both have a bright future at
Speaker 3: that intersection he wanted. Yeah, so many everyone is crazy.
Speaker 3: This is the worst striving. Now, this guy's drifting. There's
Speaker 3: a bike in the middle of the road and.
Speaker 1: Almost saw a moped eat it. Oh it's crazy.
Speaker 3: I would have been just should pull over and hold
Speaker 3: each other while shivering.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, honestly, I'm up for that whenever you guys want, okay,
Speaker 4: have each other twenty minutes.
Speaker 3: So you what was your post about this whole Instagram
Speaker 3: thing where people where everyone was cutting and pasting that
Speaker 3: legal notice that oh mine? Oh yeah?
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, right, Karen, do you know what he's talking about?
Speaker 1: I think so, but I skimmed it on Twitter.
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, because you're not a grammar.
Speaker 4: It was originally someone posted this graphic that was a
Speaker 4: screenshot of test but then the word Instagram had been
Speaker 4: pasted into it runt of times, and it was like
Speaker 4: basically saying, Instagram change, there are terms of service. They
Speaker 4: can now share your information and use your photos for
Speaker 4: whatever they want. But if you post this graphic then
Speaker 4: it's like legally binding.
Speaker 5: It's in your in your account right that they're not
Speaker 5: allowed to use your stuff.
Speaker 3: And everyone kind of fell for it, and then immediately
Speaker 3: the people that didn't do it, not out of seeing
Speaker 3: through they lie or just waited out of laziness. They're like, like,
Speaker 3: I was like, ah, should I do that? I don't care,
Speaker 3: go ahead, I have nothing to hide. I think it's
Speaker 3: why I didn't. But then immediately everyone was making fun
Speaker 3: of the people that.
Speaker 5: Did do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so a bunch of comics posted it and that
Speaker 4: we're like, hey, watch out, And then a bunch of
Speaker 4: other comics were like, everyone who posted this is.
Speaker 3: Stupid ye old yeah, because they just hadn't done it yet.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it was so funny to watch I do.
Speaker 4: That's a really weird element of comedy where comedians yell
Speaker 4: about how dumb other comedians.
Speaker 5: Are all the time. Yeah, every time I see it,
Speaker 5: I'm like, guys, we're all just gonna keep being here.
Speaker 6: But it is that thing of a trend comes up,
Speaker 6: and then whether or not you participate in it, obviously
Speaker 6: is a very loaded decision, at least for me, every time,
Speaker 6: where whether it's a game or a trend or whatever,
Speaker 6: and then you're.
Speaker 1: Afraid to do it because you know it's hacky, but.
Speaker 6: Then you do it anyway, and then when the wave crests,
Speaker 6: the new wave is everybody going, you fucking idiot, for
Speaker 6: doing that. Yeah, and that to me is so much
Speaker 6: hackier yah then being then at least just participating and
Speaker 6: having fun, because who gives a shit about Twitter anyway.
Speaker 6: But like, there's nothing I hate more than the second
Speaker 6: wave I Told you so people because it's like the
Speaker 6: easiest thing.
Speaker 4: There is to do, right, Man, We're going to see
Speaker 4: I predict that we're going to see a lot of
Speaker 4: that I Told you so shit in a big way
Speaker 4: over the next few years because of all the like
Speaker 4: all how important social justice online was to people for
Speaker 4: a long time, and then there's it's going to turn
Speaker 4: into people that's going to sort of die down a
Speaker 4: little bit and the like because it, you know, it
Speaker 4: got extreme and lack nuance in in some ways.
Speaker 5: And then there's gonna be a shitload of people being
Speaker 5: like everyone who did that as an asshole.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Man, I don't want to have any part of any
Speaker 5: of it.
Speaker 6: Well, you know, because I think there's a lot of
Speaker 6: trolls that hide as the people that you would assume
Speaker 6: as an average white person to be involved in the
Speaker 6: social justice So then they're but they're actually troull So
Speaker 6: they have this weird hidden persona and they're like kind
Speaker 6: of tweaking the art to make whoever, whichever minority look
Speaker 6: like assholes. Like that's the thing I've noticed that's super
Speaker 6: creepy and weird is like people coming on like I
Speaker 6: just don't understand. While you're not required if you're going
Speaker 6: to interact on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram to have
Speaker 6: your real name and.
Speaker 4: It's my own extension of your identity, we have to
Speaker 4: get a driver's license. I really feel like it's similar
Speaker 4: to that.
Speaker 6: Because then all those people that like, oh, I guess
Speaker 6: I was just trolling that twelve year old because I
Speaker 6: was bored, like those people know, because there's so much
Speaker 6: creepy shit people do.
Speaker 1: Hidden away. I mean like it just plays on the
Speaker 1: worst of like human instinct kind of it's gross. I
Speaker 1: hate the Internet, I really do.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I hate yeah, yeah, yeah, I really it's too
Speaker 5: bad too. It's just.
Speaker 3: And the answer is just getting up. Like there's like
Speaker 3: where we stayed up in the Bay Area, but it
Speaker 3: was near your stomping grounds of Pedaloma, but it was
Speaker 3: like log Anitas. It was in the in the mountains,
Speaker 3: surrounded by redwood trees. It was beautiful, yes, and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's one.
Speaker 5: Of the prettiest places. I loved there.
Speaker 3: I loved your town.
Speaker 1: I'm quite proud of my town and my dairy.
Speaker 3: But my my phone was my phone was kind of
Speaker 3: worthless there, and it was this weight was lifted off
Speaker 3: my shoulders. I felt terrific. Yeah, I felt like early
Speaker 3: ninety Stare banks Man. Remember I was killed.
Speaker 1: You're so young, a fresh oh man. Remember that guy?
Speaker 3: Yeah he's gone now dead.
Speaker 4: I like removed Twitter almost completely from my life, really,
Speaker 4: and I like, yeah, I mean I had, you know,
Speaker 4: I had built up followers there, and so I felt
Speaker 4: shitty about just ending that.
Speaker 3: Also did end it?
Speaker 1: You got off it was only two hundred and thirty
Speaker 1: two people.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was two hundred and thirty two.
Speaker 4: And it was also I made most of those accounts myself,
Speaker 4: and that's the work I'm talking about.
Speaker 5: I had to fucking open all account. We get a
Speaker 5: Gmail address, you know what I mean. It was a
Speaker 5: lot of effort.
Speaker 4: No, I like built up like it was like fifteen
Speaker 4: thousand or so followers, and I was like, I still
Speaker 4: might want to promote stuff. I don't want to like
Speaker 4: hold up a middle finger to that, you know, but
Speaker 4: I didn't want to look at it.
Speaker 5: So I literally you.
Speaker 3: Can just suspend it or what do you call it?
Speaker 3: Make it it?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just wanted to.
Speaker 4: Instead, I just turned it into like one big dumb joke,
Speaker 4: and I download this app where you're that will tweet
Speaker 4: for you once a day, and so I just programmed
Speaker 4: this app to tweet the same thing for me every
Speaker 4: day at one pm. And it's just so my account
Speaker 4: if you look down, I promote stuff and then I
Speaker 4: deleted immediately, and then the rest of my account it
Speaker 4: just says what day is it?
Speaker 5: Likes of times?
Speaker 1: Oh, I like tweet it, Yes I have. That's been
Speaker 1: happening a lot.
Speaker 3: It's funny.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've gotten followers from it. And I never look
Speaker 4: at Twitter anymore. Right now, I am promoting the album,
Speaker 4: but other than that, I'm just not looking at it.
Speaker 4: So I cannot tell you how how much it's changed
Speaker 4: my life for the better.
Speaker 5: Just like I don't. The app is hidden on my phone.
Speaker 4: I'll go days without looking at the Twitter app, and
Speaker 4: it's just like, oh my god, it's so great.
Speaker 3: You're pretty addicted.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty addicted.
Speaker 3: You off something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, thank you, Chris. That's right. I took
Speaker 1: a month off in was it the month of May
Speaker 1: and it was just a delight. It was much better.
Speaker 6: But I have the thing where there's a little elements
Speaker 6: for because I don't do sets, I need to write jokes.
Speaker 3: Like I really thought you said I don't do sex.
Speaker 5: I don't do sex.
Speaker 1: I need to write Twitter. That's really what it all
Speaker 1: boils down to.
Speaker 5: It is another sex or Twitter sex.
Speaker 1: If you're on Twitter, you're not having sex.
Speaker 5: That was the thing with me. I actually started having
Speaker 5: like a lot of sex so I could get you.
Speaker 1: You're too busy for Twitter. See that's nice, that's a great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: another one.
Speaker 3: Have the scariest day.
Speaker 1: You stay there, sir?
Speaker 3: Oh god, I come Comparis. This is my neighborhood.
Speaker 5: Uh so you're on you're staying on Twitter because it
Speaker 5: scratches that itch.
Speaker 6: I came back because I just have these media acre jokes.
Speaker 6: I really need to tell the people.
Speaker 3: You've got a great joke. Yeah, let's not do that,
Speaker 3: let's not play that. Okay, you're right, Twitter joke.
Speaker 6: I got to get back on the the hyper ego
Speaker 6: machine from my October set.
Speaker 5: Ye, you're very good on Twitter.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thanks to people.
Speaker 4: Did you know that you have a someone who made
Speaker 4: an Instagram fan account for you and they just post
Speaker 4: screenshots of your tweets.
Speaker 8: Someone comes, there's people who killed gear.
Speaker 1: Gift gift, that's a schmooth, is that with?
Speaker 6: She's made gifts of like different things I've been on,
Speaker 6: which is horrifying, truly a horror for me.
Speaker 3: But it's well done, and uh, I know it's not
Speaker 3: caught up on a lot of your brain material. Everyone's honking,
Speaker 3: everyone's crazy everyone, everyone's eating each other's faces.
Speaker 1: It's a I think we're peaking in terms of people
Speaker 1: being on pills. Maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 5: Actually, this neighborhood has a massive opiate problem.
Speaker 3: Really, yes, really, yes, I moved into it.
Speaker 5: Yes, you're their dealer.
Speaker 6: You know that.
Speaker 3: God, I'm two blocks. I'm not the corner of crisis
Speaker 3: and opioid. Go dude, God, for the fucks say it
Speaker 3: is horrifying.
Speaker 1: I mean, what's the last movie you've seen, Dave?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Oh boy. The last time I saw a movie in
Speaker 5: the theater was Citizen Kane.
Speaker 3: How about me? It was like last night I saw
Speaker 3: a band at u terr Gram Ballroom, which is one
Speaker 3: of my favorite. It was Thy Siegel. Go ahead, lord,
Speaker 3: it was fun time.
Speaker 5: I didn't.
Speaker 3: I mean, there's those bands where you let's know him.
Speaker 3: It didn't really speak to me on you know, Spotify
Speaker 3: on shuffles, but man live, my face was being melted off.
Speaker 3: But it wasn't Mushroom.
Speaker 4: He's incredible live. I'm actually going to see her and tonight.
Speaker 4: Who is from Marin County?
Speaker 1: What band?
Speaker 5: Uh ceremony? Do you know them? They're from Ronert Park.
Speaker 1: That's the town next to Paloma.
Speaker 4: Oh, no way, yeah, And I like I always think
Speaker 4: of them with Pedaluma because Anthony, the guitar player, who's
Speaker 4: the guy that I know in the band, he runs
Speaker 4: a festival up there in Pedaluma every year called Homesick.
Speaker 1: Oh oh, I thought the comedy festival. There's a comedy
Speaker 1: festival there.
Speaker 5: I saw that. It's called Pedalama.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: It was a really I love Dominic, I know and
Speaker 4: love Dominic very much, done very well, And that is
Speaker 4: a terrible name.
Speaker 1: Yes, let me defend Dominic. Let me defend Dominic.
Speaker 5: Who look at this it sounds like Petaluma.
Speaker 6: No, it's that in the seventies in Pedaluma they had
Speaker 6: a T shirt you could buy at nothing but t shirts.
Speaker 6: The local iron on T shirt shop, which was very
Speaker 6: big in like nineteen seventy eight, and.
Speaker 5: I was going to say, what were you born in
Speaker 5: the nineteenth century.
Speaker 3: Kind of And it's funny.
Speaker 6: Basically, it was a little it was like a little
Speaker 6: almost looked like a cartoon of a muppet and he
Speaker 6: was just like a guy with yellow feathers and long
Speaker 6: legs and big googly eyes. And it said Petalama underneath it.
Speaker 6: And it was popular within our town. So he's just
Speaker 6: making a reference to this dumb fucking shirt that was
Speaker 6: like a kind of like a I mean, I want
Speaker 6: to say, like a tourist souvenir.
Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, it's almost that.
Speaker 5: I just said that on a recorded podcast about my friend.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was nice of me to know.
Speaker 6: No, he's not your friend. Dominant went to Los Angeles.
Speaker 6: You learn lessons like this all the time. You're good
Speaker 6: comedy friends.
Speaker 5: I think. Actually I have been a little ship talking
Speaker 5: on this eide.
Speaker 3: It's just permanently on the internet for it.
Speaker 6: I meanwhile talking about what a great person you are
Speaker 6: and then boom attacking Dominant.
Speaker 4: So I'm attack, Yeah, I love you. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 4: I blame my friendship with Karen. Actually we have built
Speaker 4: a rapport you and I. Karen that scared people on.
Speaker 1: The internet was yes, yeah, that was bad.
Speaker 3: That was really elaborate.
Speaker 1: I attacked Dave.
Speaker 6: It was really weird because it was one of those
Speaker 6: things where I'm sure I'd had too much coffee and
Speaker 6: I thought it was being funny.
Speaker 5: It was funny, it was very fun.
Speaker 6: But then it was like, but then, of course it's
Speaker 6: the Internet, so then Dave has to say something back.
Speaker 6: He's not gonna be like, uh, you're the best or whatever.
Speaker 6: He's going to be like, so he like gave it
Speaker 6: back a little bit. Then we just kept doing it.
Speaker 6: But then it was too real and people were like, hey, whoa, I.
Speaker 1: Can't explain it.
Speaker 4: But Karen and I we had just had an it
Speaker 4: was like a couple of weeks before this happened. We
Speaker 4: had had a conversation somewhere about how comedians hanging out
Speaker 4: should be meaner, the joshing like if.
Speaker 5: We are friends.
Speaker 6: We had the conversation right there with Y Larson. Remember
Speaker 6: we were standing at the back of the Good Heroin
Speaker 6: show saying bringing back mean comedy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah totally, And I, for I definitely missed that.
Speaker 5: I mean, I'm from New York.
Speaker 4: And how I came into being funny was sitting around
Speaker 4: with a bunch of people just making fun of each other,
Speaker 4: and so.
Speaker 3: We talked was busting balls, right, yeah, but I'm a
Speaker 3: ball buster? Yeah yeah.
Speaker 4: So then I see you at bright Spot with Chase Bernstein,
Speaker 4: and I like I think I said in past.
Speaker 5: They were like, what's up with you? And I was like, ah,
Speaker 5: I gotta go meet my manager.
Speaker 4: And then Karen was like, well, la de duh, someone
Speaker 4: has a manager. And then when I looked at my
Speaker 4: phone or got home or something, there was a tweet
Speaker 4: from Karen that was like, just saw Dave Ross and
Speaker 4: it only took him two seconds to bring up the
Speaker 4: fact that he as a fucking manager.
Speaker 5: And so then I was like, I said some shit
Speaker 5: to Karen.
Speaker 3: Ridiculous, so funny. Yeah, I get it. I would have
Speaker 3: got it.
Speaker 5: From a But also I will say that I leveled
Speaker 5: it up.
Speaker 4: I I think I'm the one that made it to
Speaker 4: the point where people were like, this is mean, because
Speaker 4: I am fully aware of how much we are friends. Yes,
Speaker 4: but the next thing I said was you said that,
Speaker 4: And I was like, Karen, you are older than my manager.
Speaker 5: That is if you don't know that you and I
Speaker 5: are cool.
Speaker 3: I was like, damn, dude, yeah, and then you said
Speaker 3: something really mean.
Speaker 5: That I don't remember.
Speaker 6: I think I said because I do remember how mean
Speaker 6: I was, because at least I work. Oh, and that's
Speaker 6: what I knew, because I was like, it's funny, but
Speaker 6: there's only one direction this can take, because we have
Speaker 6: to keep out doing each other because this needs to stop.
Speaker 6: And it should have stopped with your response and I
Speaker 6: could have done something else, but it was like, instead,
Speaker 6: but can I say a little.
Speaker 3: Bit before because you do work more than Dave's.
Speaker 1: People need to know.
Speaker 5: While here we go, I'll stand.
Speaker 3: Up, you get the road. It's great.
Speaker 6: But I think the reason the reason this energy started
Speaker 6: was Chase and I sat in this booth at the
Speaker 6: bright Spot and watched Dave talk to this guy standing
Speaker 6: on the street.
Speaker 1: For so long and we were waving at him. I
Speaker 1: was texting Dave over and over really and yes, and
Speaker 1: it was like you and this.
Speaker 6: Dude, who it turned out with some comic from a
Speaker 6: different town, were wrapped talking about something and it was
Speaker 6: like I wanted you to look at your phone and
Speaker 6: be like, oh, there's fifteen texts from Karen, because we
Speaker 6: were away from each other and you didn't know, so
Speaker 6: it started this weird energy towards you, of like like
Speaker 6: an attack energy.
Speaker 1: I can't explain it. But then when you came in,
Speaker 1: it was just like, oh, look, hell, you're like my manager.
Speaker 6: Well.
Speaker 5: You know what was so wonderful about it, though, was that.
Speaker 4: The way I don't know if you remember this, but
Speaker 4: the way that the interaction on Twitter ended was someone
Speaker 4: jumped in and called one of us a dick, and
Speaker 4: then we were both like, don't do that. Yeah, it's cool,
Speaker 4: and then we both said I'm sorry and I love you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then I saw you like a week later at
Speaker 4: a show, and I remember it so clearly. I was
Speaker 4: like Karen and you were like Dave. I was like,
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry, and you were like, I've been upset
Speaker 4: about it all week. That was like me too, I
Speaker 4: feel absolutely terrible. And that was the way that the
Speaker 4: next four or five interactions we had went, Are you
Speaker 4: still thinking about it?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel really bad.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 6: When we first saw each other in person, the look
Speaker 6: on both of our faces was like we had been
Speaker 6: at a party and we had both slapped each other
Speaker 6: at the same time. Where it was like, Dave, I
Speaker 6: would never want to say any of those things to
Speaker 6: you and in public, Like.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it was like.
Speaker 5: I think that we don't have like mean energy hanging
Speaker 5: out as comedians. Is that it's bad.
Speaker 1: Sec us very poorly.
Speaker 5: Yes, being mean sucks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it never feels good.
Speaker 6: Well and also if you don't like it's usually the
Speaker 6: smart thing to do is save it up for people
Speaker 6: you genuinely hate. But when you're shitting on your friends
Speaker 6: where I'm like, I'm not close enough with Dave to
Speaker 6: be this mean to.
Speaker 5: Him, Like we weren't that close yet. Yeah, it wasn't.
Speaker 1: It wasn't like that.
Speaker 3: That's what brought you closer.
Speaker 5: It actually is.
Speaker 1: You know what it did. It made me get a
Speaker 1: manager because that's what it was all about.
Speaker 3: I was jealous, you know, I don't have shame.
Speaker 4: It didn't representation anymore. Oh yeah, so the tables have turned.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I'm going to get right back on Twitter.
Speaker 3: That yeah, yeah apart, No, it's funny there. When I
Speaker 3: first started in Austin, there is older guys that were
Speaker 3: all mean. They would shut off the microphone while you
Speaker 3: were on stage. Yeah, there was hey, new kid we're
Speaker 3: going to show you the ropes vibe and now, and
Speaker 3: I would get so mad. I'm like wanted to actually
Speaker 3: get in fights with them. And now I love those guys,
Speaker 3: and I think it has something to do with overcoming that,
Speaker 3: and so there is something that comes from busting balls
Speaker 3: are taking a piss.
Speaker 5: Is.
Speaker 3: Then later on you were like, closer, I don't know,
Speaker 3: it's interesting. Yeah, now everyone's afraid to fight.
Speaker 1: You just have to do it right, and there can't
Speaker 1: really be you have to be careful with the truth
Speaker 1: part of it. Yeah, but I think that was the
Speaker 1: thing of you and I just immediately I shamed you hard.
Speaker 6: Then you came back and shamed you, and then I
Speaker 6: was like, what's a bigger shame than the shame I started?
Speaker 4: Well, I felt so bad, particularly because I like age
Speaker 4: is just like it's just not all right. I mean,
Speaker 4: like you talked about someone's age or their looks or
Speaker 4: how funny they are, and that's all we were doing.
Speaker 4: It was like you're not funny, or you're ugly or
Speaker 4: your Hollywood it's like all actually bad.
Speaker 1: Fun Yeah, well you don't want it to be true.
Speaker 6: And we didn't know each other well enough to know
Speaker 6: for a fact that it wasn't how we actually felt
Speaker 6: about each other.
Speaker 5: I am, well, I am, you know, deeply insecure. So
Speaker 5: I was like, am I to leave this car and
Speaker 5: wonder if I am once again?
Speaker 1: Okay? And I get it back on the.
Speaker 3: Good Idea for the Good heroin show?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: How long have you been doing this show?
Speaker 5: Here? Like almost five years?
Speaker 3: Wow, we're all old. The hurts at spinning and we
Speaker 3: aren't going to make it.
Speaker 1: Who does the posters for good Heroine?
Speaker 5: Jogrin? Is his name? So good? Yeah, he's a great artist.
Speaker 1: And his novel is so good good.
Speaker 5: It's a little thick. I don't know, show gun shows.
Speaker 3: It's just a book we've all read except you.
Speaker 1: It's a new thing to freak out about.
Speaker 5: Oh good?
Speaker 3: Anything else to plug other ner album that ever?
Speaker 1: See the name of the album because you haven't said it.
Speaker 5: It's called The Only Man Who Has Ever Had Sex?
Speaker 3: I love it?
Speaker 5: Uh yeah, and you can get it.
Speaker 4: I made a website where the you can every version
Speaker 4: you can buy that digital and the flip book and
Speaker 4: stuff is there and the the u r L is
Speaker 4: sex dot guns dot beer.
Speaker 1: That wasn't taken No. Wow, weird, Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I bet you're picking up some new sweet sweet
Speaker 3: fans with that, must say who just.
Speaker 5: Like guns and beer? Yeah, I'm just going to go
Speaker 5: to guns dot beer and see what's there.
Speaker 3: You just keep getting booked in the Deep South. No
Speaker 3: offense and like you do have a lot of guns
Speaker 3: and beer.
Speaker 6: You can't make that noise in your voice when you're
Speaker 6: saying the offense more offenses.
Speaker 1: I learned this with Dave. It's even more offensive.
Speaker 3: Man, I'm sorry.
Speaker 5: I really hope that nice and that we are friends. Yes,
Speaker 5: it's really dreads some stuff up for me. I think.
Speaker 6: Look, I think when you intentionally like dent the car
Speaker 6: of the friendship, then there's more appreciation of the rest
Speaker 6: of the vehicle.
Speaker 3: What Yeah, great slowed out, like.
Speaker 4: Intention intentionally crash your friendship car into another friendship car
Speaker 4: in the auto body shop.
Speaker 5: The friendship will be fixed and yeah, it costs a
Speaker 5: lot of money.
Speaker 1: But then the car is the friendship Cooper.
Speaker 3: And there's patches of love Bondo.
Speaker 5: Friendship bar. We're all on the love dash.
Speaker 1: Nice this has been and enjoy Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for having me.
Speaker 5: I love you both. Yes, I love you too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we don't say that in my family has been
Speaker 3: You need a ride?
Speaker 1: D y n A R are leaving I you wanna
Speaker 1: way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 2: time and turning on engage.
Speaker 1: We want to send you off inside. We want to
Speaker 1: welcome you back home.
Speaker 2: Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine? Mal porn.
Speaker 5: A?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 8: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chriss
Speaker 6: M hm