Speaker 1: If you had to define swag or swagger, what would
Speaker 1: you say to our listeners are Awalita's definitions of.
Speaker 2: That mainly is that Jones sequa, you know that particular
Speaker 2: style groove, just how that person defines themselves in a
Speaker 2: way that when they walk into a room, I mean,
Speaker 2: they take everyone's breath away.
Speaker 1: Do you think I have swag?
Speaker 2: You have total swag? I mean, I know those doors
Speaker 2: are locked so nobody busts in. But I'm gonna tell
Speaker 2: that is so funny that you would say that. Because
Speaker 2: I was thinking to myself, I said, Alita, do you
Speaker 2: still have swag?
Speaker 1: I have seen you sprut this studio. I have seen
Speaker 1: you stand up next to me and show your swagger.
Speaker 1: You definitely have that. I think we're both swaggy people
Speaker 1: for sure. I say this because our main data today
Speaker 1: has a lot of thoughts on the topic as she
Speaker 1: is looking for someone swaggy to flank her. I wonder
Speaker 1: if anyone with that hella swag as they say in
Speaker 1: Northern California, is going to come into Aulita's house today
Speaker 1: and see if they can win your.
Speaker 2: Heart, and that would be so nice.
Speaker 1: Welcome listeners, This is Dave Alita First, we our cupid
Speaker 1: Awilitalilana plays matchmaker for one hopeful main dater. She'll meet
Speaker 1: three lucky contestants before sending one of them off on
Speaker 1: a one on one date with our incredible main dater.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, the Vico Ortiz, joined by the ever
Speaker 1: stunning Auilita.
Speaker 2: Ever stunning. Oh my goodness, gracious, love love love love love.
Speaker 3: Okay, So who's coming to Alilita's house today?
Speaker 1: Our main data this week is Fay. Fay is thirty
Speaker 1: and very thoughtful, very funny, and famously defines herself as
Speaker 1: a hood so we'll of course be asked the question
Speaker 1: answer her later. Absolutely. They is a self employed artist
Speaker 1: of varying strokes. We got writing, visual arts and clothing designing.
Speaker 1: She also does coaching and reiki. Oh Fay loves hood
Speaker 1: and swag energy, back to that swagger and they want
Speaker 1: to find a bobby. Oh what's up to watch her
Speaker 1: mommy vibe? Yes please. They are described by close friends
Speaker 1: as having Belen Awena main character energy and Faye is
Speaker 1: looking for the home and you'll get to explore life
Speaker 1: with what. I don't think we'll run out of things
Speaker 1: to talk about today. I think we got it going.
Speaker 2: Well, that sounds absolutely like a shining start. So we
Speaker 2: need to find her somebody really really nice.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and we will. Let's go ahead. They come
Speaker 1: on Ina Salah to join us. Say hello, oh my god,
Speaker 1: we are so glad to have you here on day
Speaker 1: my Alida first. So we know a bit about your
Speaker 1: obviously we were at a little bio, but nothing like
Speaker 1: hearing it from yourself. Tell us what myself and that
Speaker 1: need to know about you to find that perfect match.
Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure. So I'm you know, I've always just
Speaker 4: been trying to be real perfect and really polished, but
Speaker 4: I'm breaking free and just being like my true self.
Speaker 4: I've been doing a lot of work with unmasking, and
Speaker 4: you know, I feel this fiery energy in me around
Speaker 4: like being seen receiving what I know I deserve. It's
Speaker 4: really important for my person to be able to like
Speaker 4: keep up and you know, have their own thing going, like,
Speaker 4: you know, be independent. You know, I'm trying to not
Speaker 4: be the only light, like I really just want to
Speaker 4: shine with somebody else.
Speaker 1: I want to know a little bit more of what
Speaker 1: started that journey of wanting to unmap and what drew
Speaker 1: you to just be more honest with yourself and also
Speaker 1: wanting other people in your life that are in that
Speaker 1: same wavelength so they can see you and celebrate you
Speaker 1: and witness you as who you are and you can
Speaker 1: do the same thing for them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So regarding unmasking, like I mentioned, my life is
Speaker 4: a telenovela, and so I was in a really crappy
Speaker 4: car accident that left me with the concussion, and along
Speaker 4: the way of my healing, which took like about a
Speaker 4: year and a half, my mom was like, hey, your
Speaker 4: behavior is shifting a little bit to how you would
Speaker 4: act as a kid. We were undocumented, so we didn't
Speaker 4: have access to insurance and healthcare. She's like, you should
Speaker 4: go get checked out. And I was like, checked out?
Speaker 4: What do you mean? So she was implying that she
Speaker 4: felt like I was probably on the spectrum and maybe
Speaker 4: the concussion put down my walls, like literally my threshold
Speaker 4: could no longer perform. So like I was putting on
Speaker 4: a show of who I thought Fay was. And so
Speaker 4: upon this car accident lo and behind, oh, I'm a
Speaker 4: high functional autistic person. And that's where my journey began,
Speaker 4: taking off my mask, all of those layers of who
Speaker 4: I thought I had to be for my family, for
Speaker 4: my friends, in partnerships, et cetera. And I was able
Speaker 4: to just get to this like raw space of like
Speaker 4: this is who I am, right, Like I don't have
Speaker 4: to keep performing, I don't have to be anything I
Speaker 4: don't want to be. And so it's literally changed my life.
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm alive for the first time. This
Speaker 4: all happened two years ago, and so it's been this
Speaker 4: gorgeous unfurling. I feel like a mystery to myself and
Speaker 4: it's exciting.
Speaker 1: Now, when was your last relationship?
Speaker 2: It's been a minute, a man, and what's a minute?
Speaker 2: What's a minute?
Speaker 4: Like four years before the accident.
Speaker 1: How long was that relationship for It was sure.
Speaker 4: I mean we were just dating at the time, and
Speaker 4: dating is a concept that's challenging for me. But yeah,
Speaker 4: so that was the last main, main relationship. But the
Speaker 4: longest relationships I've been in have been like two years,
Speaker 4: but that was way way back.
Speaker 1: What are some things that you have learned from those
Speaker 1: relationships that you want to be like, no, I want
Speaker 1: to continue that, And what are some things that you're like, actually,
Speaker 1: I did that that didn't really work for.
Speaker 4: Me obviously, Like the unmasking. I know my faults in
Speaker 4: not being honest and how that created tensions that were
Speaker 4: probably unnecessary. There's no tin, no shade on any of
Speaker 4: my exes. I feel very grateful that I was able
Speaker 4: to experience them. The good things from those relationships were
Speaker 4: the closeness that we experienced, Like there was, like you know,
Speaker 4: a lot of intimacy that I think could have conqutized
Speaker 4: into a friendship, which I think was lacking because of
Speaker 4: the masking. So I think it's a two way answer,
Speaker 4: right where I crave that intimacy and that closeness, and
Speaker 4: now I have the tools to be able to build
Speaker 4: a friendship with the person that I want to be
Speaker 4: with so that we can be real, so that we're
Speaker 4: not kind of dictated by these expectations. Like we're in
Speaker 4: a relationship now, so this is what I have to do,
Speaker 4: and this is what you need to do. It's like
Speaker 4: let's dance, you know what I mean, Like I really
Speaker 4: want to dance with somebody.
Speaker 2: Well, since you are so adventurous and like so many things,
Speaker 2: you're a pretty busy bee. You are doing a lot
Speaker 2: of stuff. Do you want your partner to have all
Speaker 2: those same attributes? And join in with you. Would you
Speaker 2: like them to be different?
Speaker 4: I like difference. I think difference is striking to me.
Speaker 4: It stimulates me, and I think that's really important for me.
Speaker 4: But I've dated people that are on similar realms as
Speaker 4: I am, and I mean I feel equally stimulated. So
Speaker 4: I think it's more about that swag, right, or like
Speaker 4: the energy of like, oh I can learn from this person,
Speaker 4: Like that's really exciting to me.
Speaker 2: Well, that swag word has come up one more time again,
Speaker 2: and with it comes the hooda what is the hood?
Speaker 3: Creatura? You belonged to the hood.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so actually the title of my first full length
Speaker 4: poetry collection, and I titled it that because I grew
Speaker 4: up in the hood. But I'm such a dork and
Speaker 4: I'm such this that has a We's just been this
Speaker 4: queer little essence, like, you know, walking up and down
Speaker 4: these little tolitos with their long shorts and their high
Speaker 4: socks and their slides, and it's just me with my
Speaker 4: bang and like piercings and just you know, being super
Speaker 4: emo and tagging on the walls. You know, there was
Speaker 4: this beautiful, gorgeous contrast that I wanted to emulate in
Speaker 4: my experiences growing up and documented growing up queer in
Speaker 4: Inglewood specifically, And so I think this title is just
Speaker 4: the perfect combination.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: Did I just hear you say Inglewood?
Speaker 4: The three one oh? Look at my necklace?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm a three one oh girl too. So
Speaker 2: that must have been tough, and your poetry got you
Speaker 2: right out of it.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Literally, it was my saving grace and it was
Speaker 4: my way of also commemorating the city that built me,
Speaker 4: you know, like I wouldn't be who I am without Inglewood.
Speaker 4: So there's always so much gratitude for black folks to
Speaker 4: other immigrant folks who I grew up with, you know,
Speaker 4: not just Mexican immigrants, but like from all over.
Speaker 2: We are all over exactly.
Speaker 4: It's my little love letter.
Speaker 2: We know.
Speaker 1: We talked about navigating dating from the lens of unmasking
Speaker 1: when it comes to our mental health, and the things
Speaker 1: have shifted right As a fellow you know, trans, non binary, dender,
Speaker 1: expansive person, my transness has also been a big influence
Speaker 1: in how I have been able to access what my
Speaker 1: needs are and what my wants are, both for myself
Speaker 1: and in relationship. And I want to learn more about
Speaker 1: how that has been for you.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So I started hormones last year and I feel amazing,
Speaker 4: thank you, thank you. So I feel great. I just
Speaker 4: recently started t blockers, so my body is changing, shifting, adapting,
Speaker 4: and I feel more embodied than ever before. Literally, I
Speaker 4: feel like I see the world and color and it's phenomenal. So,
Speaker 4: you know, my autism and my transness and being in
Speaker 4: this conjunct experience of unmasking and unfurling has been, oh
Speaker 4: my god, a gift from the universe. And so I
Speaker 4: think in the context of relationships, right, like you know,
Speaker 4: I'm talking about the hood and the swagger, and that's
Speaker 4: also like, in a way, like a normative experience, right,
Speaker 4: and I'm not existing in that. And so I think
Speaker 4: what I look for or what I hope to just
Speaker 4: be able to connect with folks around is like being
Speaker 4: able to hold multitudes. Like, you know, a lot of
Speaker 4: men who I know wanted me, you know, but couldn't
Speaker 4: do it was because their perception of me was like, oh,
Speaker 4: you're not a woman, you're not enough, you're not this.
Speaker 4: And you know, I'm just always looking for brave souls
Speaker 4: who are willing to just say like nah, love comes first,
Speaker 4: like whatever it is that you look like whether you
Speaker 4: look like how I look right now.
Speaker 1: Or which is gorgeous?
Speaker 2: High you.
Speaker 1: Serving some looks, just saying love the haircut?
Speaker 4: Yeah, guessing me up too much?
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much, Fay. We are so excited
Speaker 1: to find you a wonderful human being to shine alongside you.
Speaker 1: With that said, let's go ahead and meet these contestants.
Speaker 2: We'll be back after the break. Welcome back today, Malani.
Speaker 1: The first Welcome.
Speaker 2: Welcome contestant, all on my lovely, lovely contestants. I'm thrilled
Speaker 2: to meet you all and let's have some fun.
Speaker 1: Huh yes, absolutely, thank you for joining us today. Let's
Speaker 1: start with James Zach. James is described as funny ones.
Speaker 1: They defrost and there is incredibly solid calm and won't
Speaker 1: activate your nervous system. I need you in my life, Jeames,
Speaker 1: I activate my own nervous system.
Speaker 2: Amen to that.
Speaker 1: They believe in making connections that fit the shape of
Speaker 1: the container. I'm very curious about how that looks like,
Speaker 1: and are interested in dating someone who understands the mind
Speaker 1: body connection and has a good sense of humor. Hells Yas.
Speaker 1: They're based in the Bay Area, but whenever they go
Speaker 1: out to do karaoke for a friend's birthday, they'll pull
Speaker 1: out a little country music and tribute up their home
Speaker 1: state of Montana. We are so happy to have you, James.
Speaker 2: Welcome James.
Speaker 6: Yeah good, thanks for having me.
Speaker 2: Very nice having you.
Speaker 3: Who's our next wonderful contestant?
Speaker 1: Our next wonderful special contestant is Saran. Saran is a
Speaker 1: multi media artist which includes writing and photography, and they
Speaker 1: are currently putting finishing touches on a short film script,
Speaker 1: Hellsia and a multi media book project, Gosh Yes. They
Speaker 1: are passionate about reading hot and also love to sit
Speaker 1: atop a big mountain and be in nature.
Speaker 7: Mmmm.
Speaker 1: That sounds so lovely. They grew up in d C
Speaker 1: and because their parents separate it when they were young,
Speaker 1: they learned from an early age that love is not enough.
Speaker 1: I align with that. I don't. They want to know
Speaker 1: what's the vibe, what's the material reality, and how does
Speaker 1: it overlap with someone? Hell's the app I mean you
Speaker 1: are filled with wisdom, Surna. I'm very excited to get
Speaker 1: to know you. Yes, and finally meet Leo. Leo is
Speaker 1: a self professed You're gonna love this. I would eat
Speaker 1: that grandma's boy wow.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: His grandma lives in the Philippines and he wants to
Speaker 1: get her blessing about any long term partner, so I
Speaker 1: would eat that some tough competition. Yeah, Leo is attracted
Speaker 1: to folks with what he would say is just enough softness,
Speaker 1: just enough cowboy and also boss bitch fems I mean yes.
Speaker 1: He works in an astrology app company, very intrigued so
Speaker 1: knows enough to point to his mars libra as why
Speaker 1: he loves to pine and long. He is also an
Speaker 1: adult performance content maker.
Speaker 2: I want to know about that, I want to know
Speaker 2: about that. I want to know about me too.
Speaker 1: And has a podcast where he interviews other Cuiti bipod.
Speaker 1: We love to hear that. Absolutely say hello Leo and nice.
Speaker 4: To meet you.
Speaker 2: Nice meeting you all, contestants. We're very excited to have
Speaker 2: you here today and we're looking forward to seeing how
Speaker 2: you do in these games and to see if one
Speaker 2: of you could be a match for our main dater.
Speaker 2: Is that exciting? Show me some excitement.
Speaker 1: Now, I'm very very excited to start with our first game.
Speaker 2: Choey. Let's do it.
Speaker 1: All right, contestants. So for our first game, we want
Speaker 1: to see how perceptive you are without having a lot
Speaker 1: of information. This is a Wilita testing your intuition. And
Speaker 1: while we believe in clarity and communication on date my
Speaker 1: Alaia First, especially on this episode, we still choose to
Speaker 1: play with them with this game called assumptions. What we're
Speaker 1: gonna ask you is to make an assumption of another contestant. So,
Speaker 1: for example, I can make an assumption about Akalita.
Speaker 8: It me you love animals, and then Awalita would tell
Speaker 8: me if I read her for filth or if I
Speaker 8: got her totally wrong.
Speaker 2: Well, I was married five times, so yeah, I.
Speaker 4: Do, so you do.
Speaker 1: I love that my assumption was pretty grated and you
Speaker 1: just like took it to a whole other live. This
Speaker 1: is also gonna help Awalita know how you interact with
Speaker 1: each other and all that jazz, so you know, have fun,
Speaker 1: be yourselves.
Speaker 3: Oh let's go the first Yeah, go for it.
Speaker 1: Who do you want to start?
Speaker 2: Sarn? Can you make an assumption about Leo?
Speaker 7: Yes, I am going that Leo has just moved into
Speaker 7: their place recently given back the art on the walls.
Speaker 1: You're right, very right, I love it.
Speaker 4: Leo.
Speaker 1: Make an assumption about James.
Speaker 5: Given your virtual background, I feel like you've definitely watched
Speaker 5: Broke Back Mountain.
Speaker 6: Among many other great cowboy classics. But of course, yes, yes,
Speaker 6: it kind of looks like they're kissing, doesn't it.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, James, background on this zoom call is a
Speaker 1: beautiful icy mountain with two cowboys wearing hats right in
Speaker 1: front of it, two thick mustachios, and they are so
Speaker 1: close to touching lips. It's giving yearning.
Speaker 6: Yeah, the tens is palpable.
Speaker 1: James make an assumption about Saram.
Speaker 6: I mean, the easy thing is the lush plants in
Speaker 6: the background. And then I'm also drawn to your clothing.
Speaker 6: There's like a really like homegrown artistical approach to you overall.
Speaker 6: Do you make your own clothes at all? You tailor anything?
Speaker 6: Is there is that part of your life?
Speaker 7: I do not make my uncles. It is one of
Speaker 7: the many hobbies I would.
Speaker 1: Like to start.
Speaker 7: But I did get you back from Vietnam where I
Speaker 7: got close custom made.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, okay, we gon story.
Speaker 2: How long were you there?
Speaker 7: I was on Vieta for two weeks.
Speaker 2: You like shopping up? We need to go shop Instagram.
Speaker 7: I will never tell you not to buy it.
Speaker 4: And that's ugly.
Speaker 7: If it's cute, I will tell you to buy it.
Speaker 1: Alrighty, then well that's that first round. Now I want
Speaker 1: all of y'all to make assumptions on a Wailita. Why
Speaker 1: not make an assumption on Awelita first?
Speaker 7: Given as you said, she's been made five times, I'm
Speaker 7: gonna assume she loves to have a good time.
Speaker 2: That's an amen. That's an amen. Absolutely, You're so right, James.
Speaker 1: Make an assumption Aharita.
Speaker 6: You love to be sort of like the life of
Speaker 6: a conversation. And I get that impression. You're just a
Speaker 6: really sociable, fun happy person. I'm not just buttering you up.
Speaker 2: Thank you, James. I like that. And yes, I will
Speaker 2: continue to be the life of the party and the
Speaker 2: conversation until the day I die. That's a life commitment.
Speaker 1: I love that. Okay, you are nailing it, Leo last,
Speaker 1: but not Les. What's your assumption on a Wilita?
Speaker 5: All right? Well, I see that on your desk you
Speaker 5: kind of have it disarray. There's maybe crumpled up tissue paper.
Speaker 5: I see like paperwork everywhere. Their glasses are pretty quirky,
Speaker 5: So you're giving me very artistic cookie vibes. I can
Speaker 5: see you like in an art studio in the dark,
Speaker 5: either painting away or writing a manuscript. I just see
Speaker 5: you as someone who's super fashionable and artistic.
Speaker 2: Can I take them all home? That's what I wanted
Speaker 2: to do main day to who No, thank you so much. Well,
Speaker 2: I am an actor in a stand up comic and yeah,
Speaker 2: I love anything that is beauty and creativity, So thank
Speaker 2: you all for being so kind to me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Right, So it's time to play another game before we
Speaker 1: sadly have to let one of you go. So let's
Speaker 1: do that next one.
Speaker 3: Okay, So here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Our main data today has been described by friends as
Speaker 1: having the Lenovela main character energy, so yeah, very Importantante.
Speaker 1: So for our second game, we're gonna throw out some
Speaker 1: wild Lenovela situations at you and you will give us
Speaker 1: your swaggiest response, show off that swag. But Alita still
Speaker 1: wants to make sure that you would behave well for
Speaker 1: our main dater.
Speaker 2: Bring it.
Speaker 1: It's about that balance, the balance. So let's your partner
Speaker 1: had a clone evil twin very classic because of course
Speaker 1: they do, and you didn't know about the clone, so
Speaker 1: you have been accidentally sleeping with your partner's evil identical
Speaker 1: twin sibling. What do you do when you get confronted?
Speaker 2: How about you, Leo?
Speaker 1: What would you do? What's your swag? You response to this?
Speaker 5: Maybe you know I only have eyes for you. I
Speaker 5: never took off their clones, so I couldn't see that
Speaker 5: they didn't have the birthmark that only you have. But
Speaker 5: truly I only have eyes for you.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, and in character, thank you.
Speaker 2: With y'all, thank you so much. Okay, Now, James, what
Speaker 2: would you do?
Speaker 6: Your whole person may be duplicated, but our love cannot be.
Speaker 6: Please forgive me and go on a big, you know,
Speaker 6: reparations tour.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna use the hashtag reparations tour. Very nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what's your swagger response to this wild scenario?
Speaker 7: I'm so sorry I should have done because you always
Speaker 7: take sweeter.
Speaker 1: Sweeter, oh my god, and it's like compliment and then
Speaker 1: throwing shade on the evil twin. I'm obsessed.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's move on to our next telenove La scenario.
Speaker 2: Imagine that you're sweetie is planning a huge party for
Speaker 2: your birthday. It's slavish, it's fancy, all the things they
Speaker 2: love but you hate. You've agreed to it because you
Speaker 2: know it'll make them happy, and you like making them happy.
Speaker 2: Now it's the day of the party. But oh no,
Speaker 2: on top of the party being so over the top,
Speaker 2: you arrive early only to find out that to steer
Speaker 2: some shit up, you're sweetie has invited all of your exes,
Speaker 2: and I mean all of them, even the ones you
Speaker 2: never talked to anymore, All of your exes, James, what
Speaker 2: are you going to do?
Speaker 6: My swaggy response would be like, uh, thank you, because
Speaker 6: I don't know. I have nothing. There's nothing to hide there.
Speaker 6: I have really good relationships with all of them. My
Speaker 6: best friend is my ex and move through some repair
Speaker 6: there and like transform the shape of it. And I
Speaker 6: don't know. I think it'd be a fucking blast. Three friends.
Speaker 2: That's good for you, good for you? Well, I feel
Speaker 2: mine would be in confidence. You know, I don't want
Speaker 2: to bring them up.
Speaker 1: You need a hashtag resurrection tour.
Speaker 4: S N.
Speaker 1: What's your swaggy response.
Speaker 7: I'd walk in, I'd take off my sunglasses and I'd say,
Speaker 7: is this my birthday or the rechext convention?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is incredible. There are excess for
Speaker 2: a reason, right, So Leo, what's going on?
Speaker 1: All right?
Speaker 5: Well, I very much appreciate transparency and also gratitude, so
Speaker 5: I would start by saying, baby, this party is fucking amazing,
Speaker 5: thank you so much. Also, why did you bring my
Speaker 5: exes here? If you wanted spicy hot sex leader, we
Speaker 5: could have just role played this.
Speaker 1: So oh, oh, my goodness, this is great, this is wonderful.
Speaker 1: I have one more wild situation, so are you ready
Speaker 1: for this? In this scenario, it's your one year anniversary
Speaker 1: with you and your partner, and they have some big
Speaker 1: news to drop, and you've been waiting for this day
Speaker 1: because you know they are the one. So at your
Speaker 1: anniversary dinner, no big life changing question is pomped alas,
Speaker 1: but you do learn something life changing. Your partner has
Speaker 1: been hiding a secret bibet from you. How would you
Speaker 1: come back from such a monumental secret? Sarn, take us away?
Speaker 7: Maybe if we're at my one year anniversary dinner and
Speaker 7: they revealed to me that they have a whole baby,
Speaker 7: and the younger the baby, the more evils on me.
Speaker 7: Added to that, chap, Okay, my goodness, James, how do
Speaker 7: you come back from the secret baby?
Speaker 6: How could you do this to me? Literally? I want
Speaker 6: to understand like the day to day, like how are
Speaker 6: you raising a child? Like what we spend all our
Speaker 6: time to I would literally want to know just like
Speaker 6: what their schedule is, Like I'm actually kind of impressed,
Speaker 6: first of all, the second of all, you know, just
Speaker 6: get to the emotional truth of it, because if they
Speaker 6: can't share that with me, and what else can't they
Speaker 6: share with me? Maybe we got some work to do
Speaker 6: and we can't get out over a couple episodes, and
Speaker 6: will they won't they get together again over a couple
Speaker 6: of ultimately end up falling back in love and right
Speaker 6: away to the sunset, this is amazing.
Speaker 1: You just like wrote a whole series.
Speaker 3: And on that note, we're going to Lei leil jellous.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 5: To be honest, I would probably just start crying and
Speaker 5: not say anything for a while, just straight up crying,
Speaker 5: and they wouldn't know if I'm crying out of joy anger,
Speaker 5: And after some time I would probably say, so you
Speaker 5: kept this baby from me so I would fall in
Speaker 5: love with you more slowly?
Speaker 1: Right, Oh dang, dang keeping a secret for that long,
Speaker 1: It's like you're trying to manipulate the outcome. Here, what's
Speaker 1: going on? Wow? These were some fantastic responses. I would
Speaker 1: watch all these spinoffs. I am so here for this.
Speaker 1: So we played the games and we just could not
Speaker 1: get enough of all of you. So you want all
Speaker 1: of you for the next round, which is going to
Speaker 1: be a lot more intimate. Boy. So here's the deal
Speaker 1: with the next round. Each of you is going to
Speaker 1: have a one on one where she will ask you
Speaker 1: some more direct questions in which you can, you know,
Speaker 1: go ahead and answer however you feel safe and comfortable with.
Speaker 1: This is gonna help us see if at the end
Speaker 1: of the day you align with our main dat. Let's
Speaker 1: go ahead and start with staron. So, Saran, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go ahead and hand you over to a Wilita for
Speaker 1: a nice dive into the deepness of our soul.
Speaker 3: Ta get away.
Speaker 2: How are you, my love?
Speaker 7: I'm doing well, beautiful here.
Speaker 2: Oh there I go clean eggs. Talk to me about
Speaker 2: your love life.
Speaker 7: My love life is basically non existence. I have someone
Speaker 7: for whom work is very important. For me, life is
Speaker 7: very important to me, and so for me, a relationship
Speaker 7: is like the joy of life. It doesn't make life
Speaker 7: joyful so for me, like I'm about having a good time, living, loving.
Speaker 7: If I find a partner that comes to match that energy, great,
Speaker 7: But for me, like being in a relationship is not
Speaker 7: going to be everything. For me, I think actually happy
Speaker 7: alone first. So I've been focusing on me, looking forward
Speaker 7: to relationship, looking forward to finding someone to honor my energy,
Speaker 7: and I love, I just haven't found the right person yet.
Speaker 2: How long was your last relationship?
Speaker 7: I have been in that ship for forever.
Speaker 2: Oh you've never been on one? Just dating then all
Speaker 2: the way through?
Speaker 7: I mean, yeah, exactly, yeah.
Speaker 2: And what are your biggest red flags something that you
Speaker 2: do not want to bring into your relationship?
Speaker 7: I would say my biggest red flag is that I
Speaker 7: feel like I'm always right, and so if there's an
Speaker 7: argument and it's between being right and being connected, I
Speaker 7: will most often choose being right.
Speaker 3: Definitely do work on good. And what is your biggest
Speaker 3: green flag?
Speaker 7: I would say my biggest green flag is that I'm
Speaker 7: very perceptive, Like I want to be able to like
Speaker 7: preempt your need, preempt what you want or desire. So
Speaker 7: I will try to listen to my partners, listen to
Speaker 7: what they want, and you know, if they save the
Speaker 7: likes of something, you know, then I'm make sure to
Speaker 7: bake them that dessert. When they, you know, feel sad
Speaker 7: or if they say something reminds them of something, then
Speaker 7: I'll like save that song and I'll play it for
Speaker 7: them at very moment.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 7: It's just about you know, the little things.
Speaker 2: So see, you're not always right. You do like to compromise,
Speaker 2: so that's a beautiful thing. Thank you so much for
Speaker 2: your time. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Sean. Let's bring the next week
Speaker 1: them into the one woice. Yeah, we're bringing this voice because.
Speaker 2: We want James needs to go meet.
Speaker 1: We want James to bring his his banano, you know
Speaker 1: their energy.
Speaker 3: Come in.
Speaker 1: Helloji, I am handling you over for a lit looka fish.
Speaker 1: Take it away.
Speaker 3: How are you, James?
Speaker 4: I'm good. I'm having a blast.
Speaker 6: I'm also terrified and shaking in my boots not cowboy boots.
Speaker 6: To keep it on Thame.
Speaker 3: Yeah, your love life? What has that been about?
Speaker 6: My love life has just been a series of one
Speaker 6: to three year relationships over the course of my twenties,
Speaker 6: and then my last one was a two year thing
Speaker 6: that ended kind of still fresh out of that.
Speaker 2: What is fresh about it in your mind still.
Speaker 6: I think just what I took away from it, which was, well,
Speaker 6: the difference between like a romance and love that is
Speaker 6: the result of like a nervous system roller coaster that
Speaker 6: you get from just meeting someone new and feeling seen
Speaker 6: and cared for, and the love that rises from like
Speaker 6: mutual respect and trust and safety, which is very very
Speaker 6: slow burned, but I think more longstanding and seaworthy.
Speaker 2: Let me ask you, was this like a little pattern
Speaker 2: that maybe you finally know notice since your relationships and
Speaker 2: the bass had been again two three years and then
Speaker 2: moving on to the next.
Speaker 6: Oh for sure. I've been spending most of my adult
Speaker 6: life trying to find out where to be, where to
Speaker 6: plant roots, and a lot of those relationships kind of
Speaker 6: like happened as soon as I got somewhere, I would
Speaker 6: just find somebody pin my whole like safety net reciprocal
Speaker 6: well being on like a single person, which is just
Speaker 6: too much for them and not safe for me. And
Speaker 6: since planting myself back in the Bay Area, I have
Speaker 6: learned as a result of this last relationship, having that
Speaker 6: social safety net your friends as a foundation is vital
Speaker 6: and necessary for me to even want to think about
Speaker 6: falling in love with anybody.
Speaker 2: Yeah, now, James, and if the main data was sitting
Speaker 2: right next to me, what would you say to them?
Speaker 3: One beautiful thing to look forward to with you?
Speaker 6: I think I just have like inherent curiosity and playfulness
Speaker 6: and a lot of the stuff I'd like to do
Speaker 6: or like do with people. I love is to get
Speaker 6: in the car and go and just find a strange
Speaker 6: small town with a corny art gallery and a bad
Speaker 6: candy shop and just you know, delight in the odd
Speaker 6: detail out in the world. I think, like what I
Speaker 6: love in a partner that I'm really close to is
Speaker 6: how I see the world through them and vice versa,
Speaker 6: and how that enriches us both. And I think like
Speaker 6: just going on a tour that say it's our curiosity
Speaker 6: and following that energy.
Speaker 2: James, I love your heart. Thank you, Thank you for
Speaker 2: your time. I appreciate it.
Speaker 7: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much for that. James. Shall we
Speaker 1: bring the Leo? Yeah, all right, Leo Calony, welcome to
Speaker 1: Ahlitas Salita grunda fescdo take it away with Leo.
Speaker 2: How are you, my love?
Speaker 5: I'm good?
Speaker 4: How are you?
Speaker 2: I am doing great? Meeting amazing human beings like you,
Speaker 2: so tell me a little bit about what love has
Speaker 2: been like for you.
Speaker 5: To be honest, love has been pretty rocky for me,
Speaker 5: which is why I started working with the Dating Coach
Speaker 5: at the beginning of this year. I was realizing that
Speaker 5: I was leading my dating life with chemistry rather than
Speaker 5: with compatibility and relationships life style values. Maybe you might
Speaker 5: know a little bit about that given how many times
Speaker 5: you've been married.
Speaker 2: To So absolutely I know one thousand percent about that.
Speaker 2: So we move on from that and we learn, So
Speaker 2: what are the biggest things you do want in a
Speaker 2: relationship because you've learned about it.
Speaker 5: Something that is very important for me is that we
Speaker 5: both feel truly seen as people, as human beings.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 5: I feel like we go through life playing so many roles,
Speaker 5: for example, my day job VP of Engineering or adult performer.
Speaker 5: But at the end of the day, I just want
Speaker 5: to be able to share quiet, small moments with somebody
Speaker 5: who can be themselves around me and vice versa.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm crying because I am.
Speaker 2: The heart is so manding of the things that we want,
Speaker 2: and a lot of times there's a little blinders that
Speaker 2: go with it. So now that you've taken those blinders off.
Speaker 2: What do you tell the main data about what your
Speaker 2: life would be like?
Speaker 5: My life would be pretty much the same as it
Speaker 5: is now, except with like the cherry on top of
Speaker 5: being able to share it with somebody, being able to
Speaker 5: make plans in the future together. I want my partner
Speaker 5: to feel that they have full freedom to pursue their purpose,
Speaker 5: their goals, have their community and their hobbies, and my
Speaker 5: role would be to support them in those goals and
Speaker 5: making sure they have a full life. And that's what
Speaker 5: I would expect as well from my partner.
Speaker 2: Are you an adventurous person?
Speaker 5: Yeah? I am. I like to travel. Part of what
Speaker 5: makes my job so exciting is I get to do
Speaker 5: different projects and have different challenges day to day. I
Speaker 5: love art, so I like going to new art galleries.
Speaker 2: And you are ready to settle down and have one
Speaker 2: person in your life?
Speaker 3: Yes, I am all right. Well, thank you so so much, Leo.
Speaker 3: You have a beautiful heart. Thank you, thank you, Thank
Speaker 3: you to.
Speaker 1: All of you for having these one on one that
Speaker 1: you have all gone in and have shown your heart.
Speaker 1: You honestly are all phenomenal.
Speaker 2: But look, honesty, really, honesty, don't we have a secret.
Speaker 1: Speaking of honestly, because y'all really we were super vulnerable.
Speaker 1: We have kept a little something from y all, telenovela
Speaker 1: twist this whole dime. Well, you have been boring your
Speaker 1: hearts to a wili since we have had the main
Speaker 1: data listening in this whole time. Alita might have an
Speaker 1: idea of who she likes for our main dater. But
Speaker 1: before we have the verdict, me and I willed to
Speaker 1: have a little one on one, have a little chats
Speaker 1: and processing, and then we'll bring him again to share
Speaker 1: the verdict.
Speaker 2: We'll be back after the break.
Speaker 1: Welcome back today, am I wily the first?
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, gracious, Wolita. You know, I think that
Speaker 2: we have learned a lot more about each of our contestants.
Speaker 1: For sure. I think it's definitely a Leo James battle
Speaker 1: at all. Really, I'm leaning Leo.
Speaker 2: Leo has a beautiful, beautiful heart. But you have to
Speaker 2: admit James opened up a lot.
Speaker 1: James did open up a lot. I don't know, maybe, Fae,
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts?
Speaker 2: Talk to us?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, this is under wrecking. But I think
Speaker 4: Leo's final response like assumed me, like I've literally said
Speaker 4: what they've said verbatim when talking about what I'm looking for,
Speaker 4: Like you do you, I'm aa do me and we
Speaker 4: can have fun and go on adventures, but like I
Speaker 4: want to be supportive, I see you.
Speaker 1: Also, I'm very curious about their background as an adult
Speaker 1: content creator because I feel like there's so much exploration
Speaker 1: and curiosity about physical pleasure, and they're so much knowledge
Speaker 1: from what I'm understanding. I mean, I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: it seems like you definitely understand a lot of like
Speaker 1: wordying and a lot of communication that helps in being
Speaker 1: able to feel comfortable in your body and being able
Speaker 1: to feel celebrated and seen by everybody else in that experience.
Speaker 2: What did you think about James opening up?
Speaker 4: I thought it was sweet. I think there was a
Speaker 4: lot of words that were used before getting to the point,
Speaker 4: which is fine. I know they were processing, but I
Speaker 4: think that slow processing also emulated to me that they're
Speaker 4: kind of on their way to being a little bit
Speaker 4: more whole in themselves and still kind of finding that
Speaker 4: groundedness within them. But yeah, I mean, great person.
Speaker 2: It's a bit more cautious things about his responses, a
Speaker 2: little bit more does not want to be wrong, and
Speaker 2: sometimes there's nothing wrong with just saying it.
Speaker 4: It reminds me a lot of where I'm coming from,
Speaker 4: which I think is why I think Leo's so refreshing,
Speaker 4: because they're just like, it is what it is.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Well, Fay, let's do this all right, Welcome back, Alita?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, listen, you are amazing human beings, each
Speaker 2: of you. At the end of the show, we do
Speaker 2: have to think about our main dater and who is
Speaker 2: just a little bit closer to what our main dater
Speaker 2: hopes to have in a new partnership. For that reason alone,
Speaker 2: the person dating our main data is.
Speaker 1: Leo. Leo. Congratulations. With that said, James and sarn you
Speaker 1: both are absolutely delightful. Thank you so much for playing.
Speaker 1: Thank you for pouring your hearts and really just being
Speaker 1: so genuine and earnest with Alita and myself.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Stay well and happy.
Speaker 3: Alright, alright, alright.
Speaker 2: Are you excited?
Speaker 4: Leo? I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: Remember just be your true is they okay, and enjoy
Speaker 2: the ride.
Speaker 1: So without further Ado, Fay, Hello.
Speaker 5: I'm Fay.
Speaker 4: Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too, Leo in.
Speaker 1: Incredible Fay, any first impressions, Yeah.
Speaker 4: You're like so real, and I just kept repeating like
Speaker 4: you're just like, this is who I am and I'm honest,
Speaker 4: and you sound really fun and adventurous and you know, expansive.
Speaker 1: Yes, Leo, any first impressions.
Speaker 5: On Fay, You're very cute. I love your style. I
Speaker 5: like your room. You seem very creative and also organized,
Speaker 5: which I really appreciate.
Speaker 1: So yes, yes, all right, So now we're going to
Speaker 1: send our contestants away for a little virtual many dates.
Speaker 2: Stay true to yourselves, be real, open up your hearts
Speaker 2: and your minds, and stay in touch.
Speaker 4: This is my first time doing something like this, so
Speaker 4: I feel a little like nervous and how are you
Speaker 4: feeling same?
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, I'm not really used to dating being monitored,
Speaker 5: so it was a good experience and that you know,
Speaker 5: I'm adventurous, so are you. So it was it was
Speaker 5: cool for the novelty of it and just to have
Speaker 5: the experience.
Speaker 3: What do you like to do for fun?
Speaker 4: I feel very like spontaneous these days, like Hella hella
Speaker 4: more than usual. So I literally just pook tickets for
Speaker 4: my mom and I to go to this string Quarta
Speaker 4: performance with candles and flowers. I'm very simple, so I
Speaker 4: go to a bookstore, I'm happy. I go to the
Speaker 4: meat I'm happy. But I'm trying to, like, you know,
Speaker 4: turn out and like experience life a little differently. So yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm very very open to new things. What about you.
Speaker 5: I'm very on when it comes to my work, so
Speaker 5: when it comes to my downtime. Also, simple things. I
Speaker 5: like a good meal. I like to sunbathe with my dog.
Speaker 4: I have a pug.
Speaker 5: I like to Yeah, lion Hammicks if there's one around,
Speaker 5: kick it with friends. Yeah, just the simple things.
Speaker 3: Nice.
Speaker 2: Nice.
Speaker 4: I have a puppy too. His name's Cosmo, and he's
Speaker 4: so adorable. He's not with me right now, he's getting groomed.
Speaker 4: But yeah, my mom's dog lives with us too, so
Speaker 4: he's my little brother. His name. They're so cute.
Speaker 5: Cometa and Cosmo.
Speaker 4: What they're both spoke with k K and then so Cosmo.
Speaker 5: Ah, oh cool, I love that so much.
Speaker 4: That's so cute. This is interesting. This is cool. It's
Speaker 4: also super cool that you're doing like adult content. When
Speaker 4: I heard about that, I was like, Oh, that's amazing.
Speaker 4: How is that actually tell me a little bit more?
Speaker 5: Okay, yes, so I spent most of my twenties doing
Speaker 5: adult work. I was you name it, like a stripper.
Speaker 5: I was a porn performer, but I was doing that
Speaker 5: all as a femme presenting person. I realized halfway through
Speaker 5: that I'm trans, but you know, because of the nature
Speaker 5: of my job, I was like, I don't know how
Speaker 5: often trans dudes get work here, so let me just
Speaker 5: write out my fem drag performance until I'm ready to transition.
Speaker 5: So I did that for four years, and I always
Speaker 5: had an idea of coming back as my true gender.
Speaker 5: So now I get to do that. You know, I
Speaker 5: work on mostly queer production shoots.
Speaker 4: It's super fun to you. I feel like I'm working
Speaker 4: on that, like sexual liberation part I just recently started
Speaker 4: my transition, and so I'm going through my second pubertyes
Speaker 4: I'm feeling like, oh my god, like I'm you know,
Speaker 4: I guess I am ace, but I'm like, there is
Speaker 4: so much more to explore, right Like, there's so much
Speaker 4: that my body is just kind of waking up to.
Speaker 4: So it was really refreshing to hear like, you know
Speaker 4: where you're at in that respect, and yeah, I just
Speaker 4: feel inspired and you know, just grateful, like via just
Speaker 4: knowing you or like meeting you so.
Speaker 1: Well. Wow wow wow. I hope those sweeties hit it off.
Speaker 1: Find us back here next week as Lena and I
Speaker 1: make some more matches.
Speaker 2: Good work today, Ali, Oh, we did good. I like
Speaker 2: what I'm looking at.
Speaker 1: Date Maori. The First is a production from WV Sound
Speaker 1: and I Heard Media's Mike Utura podcast network, hosted by
Speaker 1: me Vico Ortis joined by the fabulous Lenna Montenegro bit
Speaker 1: May Houri. The First is produced by Leo Clem, Nico Raguel,
Speaker 1: and Sophie Spencer Zavos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama,
Speaker 1: Leo Clem, and Nico Raguel w V Sound. This episode
Speaker 1: was edited by Sean Tracy and Sophie Spencer Zavos and
Speaker 1: features original music by Alvara Morello and gave Lopez special
Speaker 1: thanks to our team of cupits at w V Entertainment
Speaker 1: Special things. Also to our hopeful romantics this week, Fay, Sarn,
Speaker 1: James and Leo. Additional thanks to Salt Online Media. For
Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you
Speaker 1: next week, and in the meantime, don't do anything Awalita
Speaker 1: wouldn't do.
Speaker 2: Just do it better, Okay, besitos