Speaker 1: So we go back to the room and I'm excited
Speaker 1: because I'm going to meet them.
Speaker 2: They got the VIP section ready over at the pool, y'all.
Speaker 1: I get completely naked in front of this man that
Speaker 1: I just met, okay thirty minutes ago, and I say,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be adventurous.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put my butt plug in. Yeah. So this
Speaker 2: of the room. Well, now we're all getting naked.
Speaker 1: We just went and I'm like, I literally go on
Speaker 1: the bed and I told my thing and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: let me put the cover work is Chris was like,
Speaker 1: you're gonna put this buck plug in front of this guy?
Speaker 2: I say, well, you're gonna turn.
Speaker 1: Around, but I got a focused guys, and it's like
Speaker 1: a it's a regular sign.
Speaker 2: It's not small this day. This is Thursday. Okay, this
Speaker 2: is day one. No, this is Thursday night. So this
Speaker 2: is he just landed my friends landing. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'm literally as naked in the room and I
Speaker 1: decided to put a book plug in my ass in
Speaker 1: front of this man. So we go to the pool.
Speaker 1: Immediately pull up to the pool, shake my home show.
Speaker 2: Everybody in my book plugs. It's cute. Inspired me to
Speaker 2: wear mine to the newde Pool for that day. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was inspired people.
Speaker 1: So anyways, we go, we sit and literally it's casual.
Speaker 1: It's casual. We're sitting there taking drinks, We're talking. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've learned about this, but I just have I just
Speaker 1: suck cop upside down in the water that night.
Speaker 2: That's O d I did. I'm just did you have breathed?
Speaker 1: I had a sewing. Oh, same difference. That the same difference. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I even had a hair tied. That was like
Speaker 1: like I could go in the water to keep the
Speaker 1: roots down, you know, because I wanted to look ready
Speaker 1: ready your from sucking and dick, it looked.
Speaker 2: I'm such a dolphin. I literally was floating on the
Speaker 2: top of the water.
Speaker 1: And He'll find you might be one of the aliens
Speaker 1: because it's the way your work.
Speaker 2: I don't have the same human bodies, Like how are
Speaker 2: you not falling?
Speaker 1: And I literally was just laying on the floor on
Speaker 1: air and you're not how they were sitting out the
Speaker 1: fucking pool. He was sitting outside of it, so like
Speaker 1: it's just balls hanging, dick hanging, and I'm laying upside
Speaker 1: down in the water and I'm like literally swimming and looking.
Speaker 2: At his ball you got the stars, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: this is sound great.
Speaker 3: Girl.
Speaker 2: This Jamaica mushs different. No, don Jamaica mushals it was different.
Speaker 2: And he was taking only double dose that night. I
Speaker 2: don't know what dosage we did.
Speaker 1: All I know is he said he never done a
Speaker 1: bit fining the dose and he's say I was like, well,
Speaker 1: you're with me, you're saying you're safe strangers. So he
Speaker 1: takes truth for the first time.
Speaker 2: And at this point, the other guy that I thought
Speaker 2: killed my.
Speaker 1: Friend was my fault serial killer all week because at
Speaker 1: this point, nigga, you killed my friend.
Speaker 2: Even though she's a lot.
Speaker 1: So anyways, he pulled up. We actually start flirting first
Speaker 1: because I'm done in the trans and me and this guy.
Speaker 1: Even though he's with me and he's attractive, you know,
Speaker 1: I wasn't getting no play bitch. Apparently as soon as
Speaker 1: he saw me parting with this nigga, he just the
Speaker 1: whole I think I saw when he came up the
Speaker 1: hat becaus.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, we get a little territorial. You
Speaker 2: know what's crazy. My best friend peeped it too.
Speaker 1: He didn't know, so immediately I started playing with this
Speaker 1: nigga about him ordering Coke zero.
Speaker 2: And ship, and I said, hey, hey, hey, don't judge us.
Speaker 2: Coke zero judges you're gonna do it. Well, I see,
Speaker 2: is that how I flirt right diabetic?
Speaker 1: Look, that's great? Okay, okay, I mean that mad Sagar
Speaker 1: all right, that's not the flirt I talked ship.
Speaker 2: So clearly I'm flired with this guy. Because he walked up,
Speaker 2: he looked like my ex. I was like, oh, yeah, hey,
Speaker 2: this nigga. Immediately like hand around my.
Speaker 1: Wrist and then Dick just gets hard and start poking me.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, he's still ordering shots and now you
Speaker 1: are again. But now I'm like feeling his energy. Damn,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling his energy.
Speaker 2: And then I reached down. Literally I just started dad
Speaker 2: sounded like people, good time. Literally, where are you from?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: No, we're having a.
Speaker 1: Full conversation about like where we're from, coke zero things,
Speaker 1: stroking his dick under the wall.
Speaker 4: If I would have had my waterproof cards out, we
Speaker 4: would have been playing speeds.
Speaker 1: That is so where at this time station. I'm choking
Speaker 1: his big Then he starts kissing my ear and then I'm.
Speaker 2: Just like fuck it. We're gonna go fuck. So I
Speaker 2: take him over to the cave. There's a cave.
Speaker 1: There's no no, no, we're not there yet, the cave
Speaker 1: with waterfall, because we both like, I didn't know till
Speaker 1: later that he has like he can't.
Speaker 2: Perform in front of bad people. Oh you performance anxiety.
Speaker 2: He guess that sometimes he lost it my day too,
Speaker 2: because I don't know I was yet. He's been to parties,
Speaker 2: he's been to these things. He can't. So go to
Speaker 2: the cave where the waterfall is covering us.
Speaker 1: My fucking Condon bag is floating in the water, and
Speaker 1: now he's fucking the ship out of me. Then we
Speaker 1: take it out the cave. He lays me on the
Speaker 1: side of the pool in front of the cave. It
Speaker 1: starts smoking to me, but the.
Speaker 2: Mat is like it's uncomfortable's uncomfortable. It all last very
Speaker 2: long there, and I said, let's go to the beach.
Speaker 2: I want to fuck on the beach.
Speaker 1: At this point, mind you lick, he don't fuck the
Speaker 1: ship out of me. I'm like, oh, this feels great.
Speaker 1: So we go to the beach and it's fairly empty
Speaker 1: because at this point it's probably two o'clock three o'clock
Speaker 1: and everybody's at the pool. Everyone's at the pool, so
Speaker 1: the beach is empty except for a couple. One couple
Speaker 1: is on the beach and they're fucking. So we end
Speaker 1: up getting like two rolls on the benches away from
Speaker 1: them and start fucking.
Speaker 2: Look at mind. Look there is no warm water. You
Speaker 2: can't see it now. This one is gone. But I
Speaker 2: still my elbows were were were not only wrong.
Speaker 1: So I'm sitting on lists are battery each chair, no,
Speaker 1: the beach chairs the day shattered scars because you you
Speaker 1: don't realize you didn't.
Speaker 2: Great is the chair the chair and.
Speaker 1: He's spoking me and he's like, I'm gonna make that
Speaker 1: pussy square And you know I talked ship, you ain't
Speaker 1: gonna make my pussy square. Baby on the goddamn chair,
Speaker 1: back to back. He just has me squirting on the
Speaker 1: beach and I was something, fucking yeah, that beautiful. He's
Speaker 1: just looking out the fucking like the where the shrooms
Speaker 1: hitting him. He stops, He's like, we should go fucking
Speaker 1: that tree.
Speaker 2: There's a tree on the beach, bitch. And he said
Speaker 2: when I said tree, I thought his name was bitch.
Speaker 2: We fucked in a trick. That's why she calls him tree.
Speaker 2: So he just because baby sitting.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what was the tree? She we didn't get there,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, yeah, we're here now. Ironically, the other
Speaker 3: is tall exactly were those he he's a tree mighty.
Speaker 2: This is the funny part.
Speaker 1: He the next day told my best friends, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't think those shrimps hit me. I said, I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure that's why we ended up.
Speaker 2: In a tree. This happens so literally, He's like, let's
Speaker 2: sucking a tree.
Speaker 1: Like I've never fucked in a tree, And I said,
Speaker 1: you know what, me neither, and I don't like we
Speaker 1: should like try to fucking this tree. So literally, the
Speaker 1: tree is like a tree that's kind of big down
Speaker 1: like you know, the branch curved. So at first he
Speaker 1: wants both of us to climb the tree. Climb bitch
Speaker 1: this nigga end of the like Tarzan, no lie, he said,
Speaker 1: I got this, and he starts climbing the tree. He
Speaker 1: gets on the tree branch and sits on it, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I don't think I'm gonna be able
Speaker 1: to go there, so let's just like this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a little baked up because.
Speaker 1: I just want you to understand that everybody who saw
Speaker 1: y'all probably thought y'all were losing.
Speaker 2: Y'all know, Yeah, this is huge.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so he climbs the tree. He sits down on
Speaker 1: the tree, and I'm like, okay, here we go. So
Speaker 1: I grabs Ad to make sure he doesn't like, he
Speaker 1: doesn't fall, and I immediately just go to go to
Speaker 1: work and start sucking his dick while he's in this tree.
Speaker 1: I've never said dick and smelled the tree before, mind you,
Speaker 1: It's gotta be my experience of this. Of this is
Speaker 1: literally smelling the tree. Because I'm going like this, I
Speaker 1: never smelled moss and leaves and bark while I'm sucking
Speaker 1: a dick, and so maybe the shrooms had my sexes up.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I will do that. I'm like, I'm literally
Speaker 2: fucking this, nigga. Day one. This is day one. This
Speaker 2: is there was day two for Mandy, for everybody, for everyone. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so him, my best friend, everyone just got there. So
Speaker 2: we leave the tree and we go back to the pool.
Speaker 2: And now I'm talking about this tree, nigga.
Speaker 1: But here I go, Hey, I don't want anyone to
Speaker 1: know that we just fucked, So come come, like if
Speaker 1: for me, you can't that.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know, because I was like,
Speaker 2: I think I wanted to like not be linked to
Speaker 2: a nigga that quickly. I want people think that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but you're talking a tree. And also there were still
Speaker 2: people coming the next day, so no, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: no no no.
Speaker 1: The first day there was seventy people. But I feel
Speaker 1: like I didn't meet everybody that first night.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I didn't just want him to.
Speaker 4: Be She's like, I want to I want to see
Speaker 4: all your friends. I want to see I want to
Speaker 4: see the variety. I want to see the best. I
Speaker 4: want to see what you want.
Speaker 2: They a bunch of you ready. So the jungle area
Speaker 2: so you could technically the jungle air was so nice.
Speaker 2: The playrooms.
Speaker 1: Yes. So then we come back into the pool separately,
Speaker 1: and I'm excited I come and you were there, Okay.
Speaker 1: I talked to a group of girls that I had
Speaker 1: been seeing throughout the day and I was like, y'all,
Speaker 1: I just fuck this nigga in the tree. His name
Speaker 1: Tree if he ain't e sqirt like five to and
Speaker 1: I'm bragging about this nigga.
Speaker 2: No. Finally he get in the pool and I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh that's tree bitch. Everybody there's host this nigga. You
Speaker 2: just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon.
Speaker 2: But what it's up there?
Speaker 1: Tap in for the full, uncut and way naster episodes
Speaker 1: over on Patreon. Go to patreon dot com backslash Horrible
Speaker 1: Decisions and unlike all the messy, t wild stories and
Speaker 1: bonus content you won't hear anywhere else, and now here's
Speaker 1: You've got decision.
Speaker 2: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
Speaker 3: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
Speaker 3: a terrible throatful guess what.
Speaker 2: You've got decisions, You've got decision. Welcome back, y'all. Ride
Speaker 2: up day.
Speaker 1: Honestly, every day is hump Day, but everybody else three
Speaker 1: day day.
Speaker 2: There's about twenty eight days out of the month that
Speaker 2: it's hump day.
Speaker 1: I am God's favorite, so three days out of the
Speaker 1: month I'm not humping and someone else.
Speaker 2: Is his real favorite because they don't get a period
Speaker 2: at all. They just ad oh, ballad ballot.
Speaker 1: I do wonder if each nigga got a menopause, hope,
Speaker 1: like one who just don't get periods anymore? I mean
Speaker 1: in control, you don't get a period, or you might
Speaker 1: just spot randomly. And I think niggas will pass the spot.
Speaker 2: They will, it will. I feel like I don't care.
Speaker 2: I'm a vampire. My nigga like get more than normal.
Speaker 2: That's disgusting, all right, I'm the horniest during that time,
Speaker 2: Oh my god. And it'd be like I preak even
Speaker 2: watch a romantic movie. No need ice cream. You know
Speaker 2: what happened Kevi on stage.
Speaker 1: Anyways, guys, welcome to another You got decisions. We have
Speaker 1: a letter this week that says, wait, we got a guest.
Speaker 1: I know NBS and inspired single af. We have a
Speaker 1: guest helping us break down this email. We have Jazz,
Speaker 1: the founder, the creator, the fucking pioneer herself of Jacko Bliss.
Speaker 2: Baby, and if you haven't yet, make sure you join.
Speaker 1: Patreon, because baby, we talk about the time that was
Speaker 1: had chuckle Bliss travel group.
Speaker 2: Y'all.
Speaker 1: I'm doing it again next year, running it back again.
Speaker 1: If you want to hear all of the nasty, filthy
Speaker 1: things that took place. I'm not even gonna lie Wesi.
Speaker 2: I had to think about what I was going to
Speaker 2: share it. That's how bad it was.
Speaker 1: Like I'm not like, I'm not sharing everything I did
Speaker 1: because I'm embarrassed to even share on our goddamn platform.
Speaker 1: Did you get did you get fucked by Ser Marvelous
Speaker 1: like you said you we'll talk about it, We'll talk
Speaker 1: about it round back away And.
Speaker 2: I said, fuck that. I used my hand motion. If
Speaker 2: you go over to Patreon, she discussed being a not
Speaker 2: an amuse amused for Marlous.
Speaker 1: I wasn't fucked by Sir Marvelous, but I was finger
Speaker 1: popped graciously, So go on over to Patreon. This patreon
Speaker 1: dot com backslash horrible decisions. There is so much over
Speaker 1: there shared. I will tell you now, ladies, have a
Speaker 1: pennyliner in your panties before you listen to it. And
Speaker 1: Fellas put a goddamn now, oh it's it's it's it's
Speaker 1: wild like it doesn't like it wasn't real life.
Speaker 2: Anyways, Let's get into.
Speaker 1: Ours wearing the fish neck literally war it just for
Speaker 1: the episode over the Patreon and watch the video on
Speaker 1: this because this fitch is still wearing her dufty wine clothes.
Speaker 2: Let me live Jamaica tea. I literally brought this. I said,
Speaker 2: we've been to be talking about Jamaica. Did you wear
Speaker 2: it there? Yes, yes, Jamaica. She has I want Jamaica.
Speaker 2: You don't do this. Don't do this, you know how much.
Speaker 1: My best friend was like, Bitch, everyone knows you're in Jamaica.
Speaker 1: You don't have to have the flag or all these
Speaker 1: Jamaica clothes off, So mind you. I'll set her my
Speaker 1: little fashion oble. She said, bruh, can you not go
Speaker 1: to the island that you're from looking like a white tourist.
Speaker 2: That's not to get braids and beans and everything was Jamaican.
Speaker 1: But because here's the thing, right, everything was themed out
Speaker 1: but for dinners and stuff you had to have clothes on.
Speaker 2: So bitch ill bought all the little Jamaican dresses. I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna lie the way you be thinking it's cute.
Speaker 2: So I put on one of these outfits recently to
Speaker 2: go to a pool. My homegirl. She goes, where are
Speaker 2: you going to grill?
Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm often to go back up, Like,
Speaker 3: isn't funny where it is Jamaica.
Speaker 1: It's funny because whenever you see the girls on the
Speaker 1: little rafts, they all had Jamaican outfits on.
Speaker 4: Bitch, who was going to the Bamboo Rafts stated we
Speaker 4: did the excursions because every.
Speaker 2: Had a T shirt ahead Jamaica. Everybody says, oh, everybody
Speaker 2: goes to the rest.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: One of the craziest videos I've ever seen on the
Speaker 3: internet was a girl on the raft.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'll remember this video, but it
Speaker 2: was on Twitter. She was getting fucked with no no,
Speaker 2: no oh. She was getting sucked by.
Speaker 3: The so she was getting fingered at first, and then
Speaker 3: the dude was about to fuck her and she goes, no,
Speaker 3: get a condom and he got a plantastic bag.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, And that is the level of horny. I
Speaker 2: never want to be Whoa again. On Patreon apparently I
Speaker 2: went to Jamaica horny.
Speaker 1: Anyways, listen into Invious and Inspired single af Hey, Mandy
Speaker 1: and Wheezy, Ope you're both doing well. First, I just
Speaker 1: want to give you all your flowers congratulations on being
Speaker 1: New York Times bestsellers. Discovering you both many years ago
Speaker 1: was truly a gift. Finding you has meant so much
Speaker 1: to me, especially seeing two corporate women transition into such
Speaker 1: a dope space.
Speaker 2: I'm loving Noah's bard. It's beautiful, sexy and honest.
Speaker 1: I'm reading it in small breaks because it's making me
Speaker 1: reflect on my own love life and relationship life. Thirty
Speaker 1: three year old British born black woman, and I've always
Speaker 1: struggled to see myself as sexual.
Speaker 2: I lost my virginity later than some wasn't.
Speaker 1: Really bothered at the time, and post university I mostly
Speaker 1: had hookups rather than real dating experiences. I've had one
Speaker 1: brief relationship in twenty nineteen and otherwise been very casual.
Speaker 1: Mandy that Mexico threesome story and Wheezy your freedom and
Speaker 1: softness with your current partner.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 1: I've listened to y'all and the guests and tried, but
Speaker 1: I still don't feel seen at all. I've tried approaching
Speaker 1: people on dating apps and even paid on apps, but
Speaker 1: it hasn't really worked. Are men afraid of approaching women
Speaker 1: these days? Dating in the States seems so much fun. Also,
Speaker 1: one thing I've been curious about during a threesome or
Speaker 1: being intimate with other people in the room, how do
Speaker 1: you feel okay with your bodies, especially around other women.
Speaker 2: My belly would be on my mind constantly.
Speaker 1: I fear reading your book and hearing about the fullness
Speaker 1: of your experiences makes me both envious and inspired. I
Speaker 1: guess my question is how can I feel seen, desirable
Speaker 1: and whole while dating is a thirty something with limited experience?
Speaker 2: I've I'm scared I've missed my chance for fun sexual experiences.
Speaker 1: Sorry for the long message, I just wanted to share
Speaker 1: how much your work inspires me. I'm only halfway through
Speaker 1: your book and I'm already so expired inspired by y'all
Speaker 1: and who you are. I've attached my photo. Feel free
Speaker 1: to judge. Not gonna judge you because girl, you're beautiful
Speaker 1: and I don't see a belly? But that's right, where's
Speaker 1: the belly?
Speaker 2: I don't see? I I gotta zoom in this girl
Speaker 2: was ki on the camera? I didn't. Oh she is okay,
Speaker 2: so let me judge the altfhit. I'm just playing. So
Speaker 2: the you're traveling, you out, you look like you and
Speaker 2: Europe stopping in that picture? Maybe is little She's British,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. Yeah, but she's still traveling.
Speaker 2: So the question is Europe is cold, but she's a
Speaker 2: crop tops not belly.
Speaker 1: How how can you feel seen, desirable and whole while
Speaker 1: dating as a thirty something with limited experience? That don't
Speaker 1: think any of us have limited experience but for those
Speaker 1: first three things, but we.
Speaker 3: All probably have a friend or family member that does.
Speaker 3: I'll be honest. The more of been watching different shows
Speaker 3: and talking to different people, I've learned a few things.
Speaker 2: So we all know. I'm a TLC girl. Mandy's the
Speaker 2: Bravo girl.
Speaker 1: There's a new show on TLC called Match Me Abroad,
Speaker 1: and there's a girl on there who claims she's been
Speaker 1: on seventy five first dates.
Speaker 2: Now it's a lot. That to me is a lot.
Speaker 3: Then we're having a conversation. I'm watching what my mammy's like,
Speaker 3: not really like, how many you think you've been on?
Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know, maybe, but eventually it gets
Speaker 3: to another one. It seems like what she's saying is
Speaker 3: the seventy five leader nowhere. Oh okay, so you know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, my first dates and they don't go nowhere.
Speaker 2: Okay, So you're hotter than her. You are a really
Speaker 2: cute girl. This girl was not.
Speaker 1: However, I would even say to me when I heard
Speaker 1: this letter, I'm like, what she looked like? Because you
Speaker 1: assume if someone's not getting nowhere, they're unattractive, which isn't
Speaker 1: the case, right, that's just what society.
Speaker 3: Wants to think if men aren't locking it down, et cetera.
Speaker 3: Guess what we walk around us, the ugly people with
Speaker 3: babies and happy families all the time. You know why
Speaker 3: they are dating better than us. And what I learned
Speaker 3: from watching this girl is that a lot of the
Speaker 3: way she dates is a problem, whether it's her attachment theory,
Speaker 3: he attachment style, maybe how hard she goes, how people.
Speaker 2: Pleasing she is.
Speaker 3: So she goes on a date and they're filming it
Speaker 3: and the dude is like just a erratic and he
Speaker 3: is like fucking around about hot sauce puts in his eye,
Speaker 3: just being wild, and she doesn't say that she's uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: She was like uncomfortable, but saying it to the side
Speaker 3: of the camera, like just not expressing herself at all.
Speaker 3: So what I'm learning through this experience, through this experience
Speaker 3: watching her and other friends, is they aren't.
Speaker 1: Vocal in dating experiences. They're letting men lead because they
Speaker 1: don't know how to say.
Speaker 2: What they want.
Speaker 3: And there's this weird juxtaposition of how do we let
Speaker 3: a man be a man if you're dating men but
Speaker 3: also feel like we're being desired without being too forthcoming,
Speaker 3: and for that, I think it varies for each person.
Speaker 3: And this is why I think dating coaches actually matter,
Speaker 3: because the person is watching the footage of her and
Speaker 3: they're commenting back.
Speaker 2: And so we've had a few dating coaches on that
Speaker 2: get to talk about that. But in reality, all the.
Speaker 3: Advice you're watching on horrible Decisions is per different women,
Speaker 3: per different men they're dating. And who knows what conversations
Speaker 3: I'm having with men versus Mandy, you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 3: it's all different, right, So I really think that dating
Speaker 3: coaches get to hear your real story. This is beyond therapy.
Speaker 3: Therapy is the deep shit that we're all insecure about.
Speaker 3: But if dating coach actually figures out what the fuck.
Speaker 1: You're saying on a first date, I'll string out your excess.
Speaker 1: Are you bringing up that nothing ever works out? That's
Speaker 1: a big fucking downer too, Like don't tell me how
Speaker 1: it never works out and you're tired of going on
Speaker 1: day and you're blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: Like no, it's a new person, have a new attitude
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 3: But a dating coach does uncover all these things, and
Speaker 3: I know it's pricey, but I've just heard.
Speaker 1: So many good reviews from people to get dating coaches.
Speaker 1: Even if they don't get to.
Speaker 3: The finish line of like marriage, if that's what they want,
Speaker 3: they still seem to like learn something about dating that's helpful.
Speaker 2: So that would be my advice a dating coach. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: my advice. Actually, I might be a little lengthy too, Jason.
Speaker 1: What would your advice be for someone, because I wonder
Speaker 1: if it'll be similar, What would your advice be for
Speaker 1: someone who's battling with their desirability and you know, sexual
Speaker 1: prowess in their thirties.
Speaker 2: So I'm out in these dating streets heavy and hard.
Speaker 2: I'm on hinge.
Speaker 4: I'm on Tender. And one of the things that I
Speaker 4: do is I look at how I curate my profile.
Speaker 4: What kind of pictures am I putting out there? What
Speaker 4: am I saying? So tender and each one is kind
Speaker 4: of set up differently. Oh, so tender, I put in
Speaker 4: I don't suck dick. If you want me to suck dick,
Speaker 4: there is a hookup. Tender is more hookup. I don't
Speaker 4: put that in there, But on Hinge I put I'm
Speaker 4: ethically non monogamous. So now they have like this new
Speaker 4: feature where it's like it's a match note, so people
Speaker 4: get a second chance. It's like read this and if
Speaker 4: you still want to pursue this, wowhead, then then click it.
Speaker 4: So I put in there I'm ethically non monogamous and
Speaker 4: if this is not for you, cool, don't don't hit
Speaker 4: me up. But I think one of the biggest things
Speaker 4: for me evolving was figuring out what I wanted because
Speaker 4: I used to dim myself, dim my sexuality, dim how
Speaker 4: much I love sex to fit into what I thought
Speaker 4: was what I wanted, which a traditional relationship, And once
Speaker 4: I became more comfortable with I don't traditional, it's not
Speaker 4: for me, then I was able to date better and
Speaker 4: meet more quality people and meet more people closely align
Speaker 4: with what I want in a future partner.
Speaker 3: Do we think it's safe to say, though, I would
Speaker 3: argue the ninety percent of women maybe even ninety five
Speaker 3: want a boyfriend when they go on to app Do
Speaker 3: y'all think that's true?
Speaker 2: Not today?
Speaker 4: I don't think so today. Do you think the percentage
Speaker 4: of women is that are looking for a relationship. I
Speaker 4: think there's still maybe like fifty percent fifty. You think
Speaker 4: it's fifty now, I mean, and that's what the sidle.
Speaker 4: The studies keep showing how much, especially in your thirties
Speaker 4: and forties, how many women are choosing themselves and to
Speaker 4: be single because they're happy or like they feel more
Speaker 4: in charge of their autonomy in this lane because they're
Speaker 4: making money, They're focused on their health more. They realized
Speaker 4: if they have kids or they don't, they either don't
Speaker 4: want anymore or they're just happy where they're at. I
Speaker 4: don't want to know them make them less happy, So
Speaker 4: but I don't know.
Speaker 3: If they're not looking when they're on that dating app
Speaker 3: for relationships, I think that's.
Speaker 2: Actually that would be my advice.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think, you know, focusing on kind of
Speaker 1: what JAS said, focusing on what you want and also
Speaker 1: figuring out how to be confident enough to say it
Speaker 1: to a man. So what's the hardest part? So you said,
Speaker 1: how like a lot of women will dim themselves. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to hold you like. I was just with
Speaker 1: one of my boyfriends. He came to Atlanta, and it
Speaker 1: was so funny because we're just openly talking about how
Speaker 1: we interact with the other people in our lives and
Speaker 1: we out and bitches is asking him for money for
Speaker 1: like food and gas and shit.
Speaker 2: Like that, and I was like, it was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's not bad.
Speaker 1: Like one girl asked me for her nails, so I
Speaker 1: immediately said, listen, I'm going to get my nails on Friday,
Speaker 1: and I need you to pay for them. Like, even,
Speaker 1: I think opening your ears to how you see someone
Speaker 1: else treat someone. If you're talking to someone you're dating,
Speaker 1: and this man says he really likes steakhouses but invites
Speaker 1: you to Dave and Busters.
Speaker 2: That's alarming.
Speaker 1: Like, I think you have to really see and hear
Speaker 1: how a man dates and how he's showing up to
Speaker 1: treating you. And then if you hear he's treating all
Speaker 1: these other women a certain way, don't feel like you
Speaker 1: can't get that same treatment exact, but demand that same treatment.
Speaker 2: I gotta be honest. I don't leave room for men
Speaker 2: to really tell me about other women that much. Well,
Speaker 2: but like.
Speaker 1: He's boyfriend, he was like, and my boyfriend number two,
Speaker 1: Like how we met was how we met, but he
Speaker 1: knows there's four guys right now. So for us, even
Speaker 1: it was so crazy because we just had a conversation
Speaker 1: and he was like, yeah, like I was jealous when
Speaker 1: you were getting up.
Speaker 2: We went to it.
Speaker 1: Anyways, well we went out and he was like, I
Speaker 1: was jealous when this happened, and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I said, that's a normal human feeling. You're going to
Speaker 1: feel jealousy and let me know if I violate you
Speaker 1: or across the boundary. But like, so we're open right
Speaker 1: now about who our other partners are. So that's why
Speaker 1: I said that. But for the for the person who
Speaker 1: wrote in who's curious about feeling more desirable, I want
Speaker 1: to lead.
Speaker 2: Into that unseen. That's a big one. Feeling seen.
Speaker 1: Well, and this is gonna sound a little crazy, but
Speaker 1: if you in Europe, bitch, they have them. One of
Speaker 1: the places that has made me and my friends feel
Speaker 1: so confident about about ourselves. And even I heard it
Speaker 1: happened at Jamaica. Baby go to a new beach. Yes,
Speaker 1: in the UK they have the times.
Speaker 2: Mad beaches' sexualized. I'm not talking. I don't count K's Europe.
Speaker 1: Sorry, but even if you said she travels in Spain,
Speaker 1: there's mad there's mad coaches in Europe, like majority of Europe.
Speaker 2: If there's a beach, there's a beach.
Speaker 1: Also some anyways, like to finish because I wanted to
Speaker 1: land this plane real quick. Because the conversation around desirability
Speaker 1: and feeling comfortable even in sex was a conversation I
Speaker 1: had a lot with with women in Jamaica. And it's
Speaker 1: a conversation I had when I went to Gunnison, and
Speaker 1: it's a conversation that I often have. We're so consumed
Speaker 1: and you talked You've talked about this sweezy too, about
Speaker 1: aesthetics online wherever is photoshopped and finished and perfect and cinched,
Speaker 1: and we have this unrealistic view about what.
Speaker 2: Bodies look like.
Speaker 1: And so when you go to like a nude beach
Speaker 1: and a lot of them people are regular, some of
Speaker 1: them even have their kids. You get to see real body, yes,
Speaker 1: and boy is it just kind of like it's reassuring
Speaker 1: to how you exist in your own body to just
Speaker 1: see real bodies. And again it's not sexualized, but you're
Speaker 1: walking around and seeing, oh, this is what's under everyone's clothes,
Speaker 1: and there's stretch marks, there's saggy city, there's a football,
Speaker 1: there's cell You're.
Speaker 2: Like, like, real bodies look like your body, and girl,
Speaker 2: you gotta do a body. I'm looking at it here.
Speaker 1: So I would say to feel more desirable or confident
Speaker 1: in your body, to find a way to get around
Speaker 1: actually seeing real people, seeing real people, But it's also looking.
Speaker 4: My grandmother used to tell me. I'd be like, Grandma,
Speaker 4: I'm fat, I'm ugly. She's like looking in the mirror.
Speaker 4: And then I'll be like, well, if I look in
Speaker 4: the mirror and I see that I'm or ugly or
Speaker 4: I'm not attractive. But it took me a while and
Speaker 4: took me older. It took me actually going someplace like
Speaker 4: Hito to understand when she said, look in the mirror,
Speaker 4: and it's not so much visually what you see, but
Speaker 4: it's like that's your truest form. And if you can't
Speaker 4: look in the mirror and learn to love you at
Speaker 4: your most vulnerable, you're not going to be able to
Speaker 4: love yourself. And when you go to Hito or any
Speaker 4: kind of nude space in a non sexualized way, I
Speaker 4: couldn't tell you what half the people look like naked
Speaker 4: on that trip, but I can tell you about the
Speaker 4: conversations that I had with people and the connections that
Speaker 4: I made with people, and it's kind of like you're there,
Speaker 4: You're nude and you're bearing it all, so I have
Speaker 4: nothing to hide. If a person is attracted to me,
Speaker 4: they're genuinely attracted to me, because you're going to see
Speaker 4: the cellular You go and see these stretch march, you
Speaker 4: go and see the belly.
Speaker 2: You're going to see everything. And then when I put
Speaker 2: the clothes on, it's just like.
Speaker 4: Now I'm flexing because I already know what's under here.
Speaker 4: But when I put my clothes on, I feel stronger
Speaker 4: and I feel empowered because if I can sit and
Speaker 4: have a conversation with somebody but ass naked and it
Speaker 4: just be a really good, deep conversation of just connecting
Speaker 4: with people, it's like you've already seen the worst.
Speaker 2: I liked that.
Speaker 1: You can say that, you do. You know that there
Speaker 1: was a dating show. It was called Dating Naked. Yes,
Speaker 1: it's they literally had people because Dating.
Speaker 4: Naked, I promise you there's people on the trip who
Speaker 4: have these beautiful bodies stacked like the and there's guys
Speaker 4: who were ripped. And at one point I used to
Speaker 4: be intimidated by guys who were super you know, athletic,
Speaker 4: because I've always been a big girl. I've always been
Speaker 4: a big girl I've never been skinny a day in
Speaker 4: my life, and one day I was like, I can
Speaker 4: get him.
Speaker 2: I'm worthy of him.
Speaker 4: Just because I'm chubby or I'm plump doesn't mean that
Speaker 4: I can't back someone who's got an eight pack and
Speaker 4: who's an athlete.
Speaker 2: I believe that's the skinny girl rhetoric.
Speaker 1: Actually, Like one of my bigger homegirls were saying to me,
Speaker 1: like this, just always be wondering how I get niggas.
Speaker 2: Yeah, is like and it's always a certain type of bitch,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm from the South, so no
Speaker 3: one ever was really like really like I'm not even
Speaker 3: trying to like I know that may sound ridiculous to some,
Speaker 3: but no one really around me growing up.
Speaker 2: Everybody was kind of that.
Speaker 1: I was always the one that was kind of like
Speaker 1: made fun of because I ain't had no ass when
Speaker 1: you from down South. I've been seeing girls that would
Speaker 1: stick my whole life with whether it be quote unquote
Speaker 1: fit niggas whatever, Like I've seen that in New York.
Speaker 1: I know the body type is different, but like you
Speaker 1: mentioned too, going back down to Georgia, like seeing ass,
Speaker 1: seeing real bodies like that shit is a real thing.
Speaker 3: Now, what I will say is outside of the sex club,
Speaker 3: I think the euro nude beaches is great if it's
Speaker 3: not sexually related. And the nude beaches are for families
Speaker 3: and shit in Europe. But go to a women's only
Speaker 3: spot it's nude, that ship.
Speaker 1: Will like even like the bath the bath house bath houses. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you could get new that's a good You're right,
Speaker 1: look at me.
Speaker 3: Making accessibility in the UK less than you think, Like
Speaker 3: it's super cold, there's not going to be a beach
Speaker 3: can go to that's requiring a lot of travel, super basic.
Speaker 3: I just went to one in La called Wi Spa Wi,
Speaker 3: and I been hearing about it because it's twenty four hours,
Speaker 3: so I'm thinking it's gonna be this couple's night. Yeah,
Speaker 3: not at all, completely separate.
Speaker 2: At one point it was so nude, you were like,
Speaker 2: they gotta be fucking here. No, I it was just
Speaker 2: all ages nude.
Speaker 3: So I was seeing really old grannies surely young, not
Speaker 3: really young, but like really old. And it just made
Speaker 3: me think to myself because you know, at first, when
Speaker 3: you go anywhere nude, we can all attest to this,
Speaker 3: even hedonism. The first segment is you look in a
Speaker 3: lot and then it becomes normal mm hm. In this spot,
Speaker 3: I was just like, oh shit, oh my god, am
Speaker 3: my tit's gonna fall down like that. And then after
Speaker 3: an hour, I'm just like, why am I even doing this?
Speaker 3: Like I'm thirty four years old? Now I'm young, and
Speaker 3: I well like who knows and the comfortability and the
Speaker 3: way that like you just start to become one. And
Speaker 3: also you will realize how much more beautiful your body
Speaker 3: is being amongst other people because there isn't, like you said,
Speaker 3: this perfection. But I think the women's spas are a
Speaker 3: little bit better because if you're attracted to men, a
Speaker 3: sex club or a nude beach may put you in
Speaker 3: an alarming situation because now men can look at you,
Speaker 3: women definitely make you feel safer.
Speaker 2: I think just we all know that how that feels.
Speaker 3: But number one, your confidence has got to go up,
Speaker 3: because that's why you're feeling like this on dates or
Speaker 3: maybe not. That could attribute to why not having luck
Speaker 3: because men love having confidence, right and like confident women.
Speaker 3: Now I would say the first thing to just jump
Speaker 3: starting that it's like my breakup call of action for
Speaker 3: any bitch.
Speaker 2: I know, okay, bit, we need the new fits. Bitch.
Speaker 3: If I got a new gym fit, I'm gonna get
Speaker 3: up and through the gym. We need to do hair
Speaker 3: and a new fits. Now you live in You got
Speaker 3: grades in this and I live in them. I'm telling
Speaker 3: you the new fits. Dressing for your body type. For example,
Speaker 3: if you don't like your belly, but we don't see
Speaker 3: your belly, fine, whatever, you have a crop tap on
Speaker 3: this picture if you're mentioning a belly while you putting
Speaker 3: that all, so something's off here?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: The pants were hot? No?
Speaker 1: No, no, I'm saying leg well yeah, start if you
Speaker 1: see I don't think her outfit didn't fit her body.
Speaker 1: But because the pants were hot, but point one period,
Speaker 1: that doesn't matter because we could still see it if
Speaker 1: it's pants, right, Start dressing for whatever you think your
Speaker 1: body is missing, and then you'll feel more confident.
Speaker 3: For example, sometimes I don't love my legs. If I
Speaker 3: wear mini things like to my knee, I feel like
Speaker 3: I look shorter. So now I actually got to wear
Speaker 3: a little bit shorter skirts. I like seeing my shoulders.
Speaker 3: I think they're the best attribute. You need to figure
Speaker 3: out what your favorite things about your body are and
Speaker 3: start act senting them. I was having dinner this week,
Speaker 3: we're filming this during your New York Fashion.
Speaker 2: Week with a homegirl mind who's a stylist, and she
Speaker 2: was like.
Speaker 3: Bitch, here's what I get paid for pulls number one
Speaker 3: from designers. Two because people know I'm lit and they
Speaker 3: like my clothes, and three because I actually know how
Speaker 3: to dress someone's body period. He's like, I dressed women
Speaker 3: that are six feet and above and like they've hated
Speaker 3: their bodies their whole life. They're famous, they're doing XYZ,
Speaker 3: they might be playing a sport, but they hate their bodies.
Speaker 2: Right, I know how to dress them and make them
Speaker 2: feel comfortable. And the more I'm hearing.
Speaker 3: About how we all kind of don't know because I
Speaker 3: really don't know the perfect fit for me.
Speaker 1: That is the goal we all need in our thirties.
Speaker 1: What the fuck is the best outfit on me? And
Speaker 1: you know why we all need that. Let's just say
Speaker 1: you have a random date or something to go to.
Speaker 1: Are we going to keep picking the same shit that.
Speaker 3: We always wear that makes us feel comfortable, or actually
Speaker 3: start buying things that are the right fit, like real shit.
Speaker 3: That's got to be number one on the list, go
Speaker 3: in the closet, pick the top three, and then recreate.
Speaker 2: Those men skirt hate to see me coming. I was
Speaker 2: gonna say, it's yours. The skirt and skirt, a.
Speaker 4: Skirt, a tennis skirt, address cleavage. My problem area for
Speaker 4: me is the belly area. So guess what I'm gonna
Speaker 4: do everything to bring your eyes up or bring your
Speaker 4: eyes below it. So I'm in the short skirts or
Speaker 4: my cleavage is gonna be out. And I have I
Speaker 4: don't have the biggest chest, but guess what Victoria's Secrets
Speaker 4: has those bras.
Speaker 2: Do the two sizes up. I call it my marketing.
Speaker 4: I'm like, this is just marketing and packaging, which you
Speaker 4: see here is all marketing and packaging. But I accentuate
Speaker 4: the things that I like, love about myself, and those
Speaker 4: are the things that give me confidence. So when I
Speaker 4: go out, hey, you know, yes, you're gonna.
Speaker 2: Get legs, you you're gonna get get cleavage, and buy
Speaker 2: it twice. Every color, Hello, every color, it's yours.
Speaker 1: Leather, anything anything leather. I know. I stay away from
Speaker 1: like blazers and things that make me look bulky because
Speaker 1: I feel like my breasts are big and not that
Speaker 1: I have big shoulders, but anything that's gonna make me
Speaker 1: look wider, I don't, especially after losing weight. And I
Speaker 1: like I like a loose bottom and a tight top.
Speaker 1: I'm big on I'm big on the bottom, but I'm
Speaker 1: small up tops, so I like. I like that.
Speaker 2: And then long dresses. My legs are short, so me
Speaker 2: and a mini dress or mini skirt. I don't really
Speaker 2: do that too often.
Speaker 1: Like I like, you know, long things because I'm sure
Speaker 1: so I'm not a fan of my legs, so I
Speaker 1: like you now.
Speaker 2: Kill you will slay those bikini pictures though, that's actually
Speaker 2: my best out. I will do with Batman bikini.
Speaker 3: But see air because some things can make your legs
Speaker 3: look shorter. But can't you actually get to see can't
Speaker 3: you get to see the hips?
Speaker 2: The hers? I like the little girl, like the little
Speaker 2: thunk that.
Speaker 1: Sunset photoshop, And I could wear a bikini every day
Speaker 1: and it not be a problem. That is exactly what
Speaker 1: the fuck I would wear every single day. Like, I
Speaker 1: love bikinis. If you follow me on Instagram, you're gonna
Speaker 1: see me. Then I'm looking the thing now with Actually, okay,
Speaker 1: this one is interesting.
Speaker 2: My thing.
Speaker 1: I feel sexiest in is oversized clothes, and recently I
Speaker 1: started wearing tighter shit, and my nigga's like, you look
Speaker 1: great in this. I don't know why you don't wear
Speaker 1: tighter clothes more often. He's like, but when you have
Speaker 1: on your overside clothes, you walk different, you talk different.
Speaker 2: Like that's just something you must feel in your head.
Speaker 2: It makes you sexier.
Speaker 1: He's like, so it actually does come across sexier. I
Speaker 1: think my favorite things to wear are.
Speaker 3: Definitely baggy pants because I don't feel like if I
Speaker 3: wear tight pants, they'd be like, damn, her booty kind
Speaker 3: of small.
Speaker 2: So I like baggy because I think that my hips
Speaker 2: are nice.
Speaker 1: Like it's weird the things that we're uncomfortable with, and
Speaker 1: I believe I have a nice body naked.
Speaker 4: Sometimes in clothes, I feel like it doesn't translate yes,
Speaker 4: so I don't have an ass. And I think that's
Speaker 4: why I love skirts, because I get to my big
Speaker 4: booty friends can't wear the skirt the same way that
Speaker 4: I do. It's exactly so I feel like when I
Speaker 4: wear oversized clothes, I feel like I look dumpy. I'm
Speaker 4: just starting to like, yes, yeah, I'm just starting to
Speaker 4: like kind of get back into oversized. So, like, my
Speaker 4: career is in fashion, so I'm around clothes and style
Speaker 4: all day long, and so it having an eye and
Speaker 4: seeing what you see things, I'm like, oh, that looks
Speaker 4: so dope. I want to try that, but it's not
Speaker 4: for my body. So now how do I recreate this
Speaker 4: look for my body? And it could just be maybe
Speaker 4: I don't do bottom and top oversize. Maybe I just
Speaker 4: do an oversized top, which you yeah, if you hide
Speaker 4: up pregnant, Carti says she wasn't hiding.
Speaker 2: Anyways.
Speaker 1: Basically, overall advice is maybe lean into a dating coach,
Speaker 1: lean into finding confidence in your body by going somewhere
Speaker 1: to see other bodies and just get the confidence as
Speaker 1: well to be able to communicate your once needs and
Speaker 1: desires from the men that you're dating, and don't allow
Speaker 1: them to leave.
Speaker 2: That's our advice to you. We hope you help. We
Speaker 2: hope we helped you.
Speaker 1: If you need any other advice for the people listening,
Speaker 1: please please please email us Decisions Pod at gmail dot com.
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Speaker 2: See you guys next week. Bye,