1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,119 Speaker 1: He Hey, ba fam, It's Mandy here with another episode 2 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,639 Speaker 1: of the Brown Ambition Q and A the b A 3 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: q A. Thank y'all so much for sending us your questions. 4 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:16,120 Speaker 1: This is one of my favorite times of the week 5 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: when I get to sit down and see what's going 6 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,760 Speaker 1: on in y'all's lives and what kinds of questions you've got. Today. 7 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: We have some interesting ones. A couple of you know, 8 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,440 Speaker 1: career questions, which is which is my groove, it's my jam, 9 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: but a kind of spicy question about someone whose husband 10 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 1: may or may not have been using credit cards to 11 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 1: invest oof. This one's painful. I'm still trying to figure 12 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 1: out how I'm going to respond to it. But listen, 13 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:47,640 Speaker 1: this is some really juicy tea, some hot pipe pipe 14 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: and hot tea for your Friday, So let's get it going, 15 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: all right. Question number one that I teased This comes 16 00:00:56,120 --> 00:01:00,200 Speaker 1: from listener Robin, who sent us an email saying, my 17 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 1: husband does not believe in savings accounts and often blows 18 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: through money. I just found out that he made an 19 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:11,960 Speaker 1: over fifty thousand dollars investment without consulting me. He often 20 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: does this, and he lost it all. This was all 21 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: done with credit cards? What or where should I start 22 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: to secure my financial future? Robin, every sentence it got worse, Like, 23 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,120 Speaker 1: first of all, doesn't believe in savings accounts. I didn't 24 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 1: think that was a thing that we know. I thought 25 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: we could at least all agree that's one of those 26 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 1: things like in today's world, can't we at least agree 27 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:40,319 Speaker 1: that saving is important, like we can we can fight 28 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:44,559 Speaker 1: about politics and vaccinations and that. But came. I thought 29 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 1: we could at least agree that having more money set 30 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: aside is better than not having money set aside. But Okay, 31 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: your husband's a unique individual. So, first of all, doesn't 32 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,559 Speaker 1: believe in savings accounts. Strike one often blows through money. 33 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,919 Speaker 1: Strike two lies to you, because I think not telling 34 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: you is also a lie. Lies to you when he 35 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:13,360 Speaker 1: spent fifty thousand dollars on credit cards to invest like what, 36 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: I don't even so I'm going to make an assumption 37 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 1: here that either he did cash advances on multiple credit 38 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: cards to get that amount of money, or potentially he 39 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 1: invested in an individual's business by paying with a credit card. 40 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: I have no idea. I can't even begin to fathom. 41 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: Your question, though, is where do I even start to 42 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: secure my financial future. Robin, Listen, I am in obviously. 43 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: I've been married for several years now, I've been with 44 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 1: my partner for a decade, and it's not easy. It's 45 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:54,280 Speaker 1: definitely not easy to align yourselves financially with an entire 46 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 1: with a different individual. You've got different goals, different styles, 47 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 1: different values potentially. But this is like beyond, This is 48 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:08,799 Speaker 1: beyond the normal kind of situation that partners face when 49 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 1: it comes to trying to work out their finances as 50 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,800 Speaker 1: a team. This is next level. I mean, this is 51 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: like fraud. It's fraud on you. I'm concerned for you, genuinely, 52 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 1: genuinely concerned that your finances are in deep, deep jeopardy 53 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: the longer this continues to go on. At this point, 54 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: given the level of financial infidelity happening, the level of 55 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna guess manipulation control, I don't know what's exactly 56 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: going on here, but it's so bad that I don't 57 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: even know if there's a way to necessarily rectify it. 58 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: As far as your personal financial future, I would make 59 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: sure that none of that debt is in your name. 60 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: Like those credit cards, I'm hoping that they were just 61 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: in your husband's name and not your own, and start 62 00:03:56,200 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: keeping really tight control and protecting your finance. It's protecting 63 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: your bank accounts. I would start squirreling away money in 64 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: your own savings account that he does not have any 65 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: access to. Girl, get that password, get second factor authentication, 66 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 1: you know, get the FBI on it, lock it down, 67 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,720 Speaker 1: because I don't think you want your husband anywhere near 68 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: your money, because he's proven to be really careless. Yeah, 69 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: this is shocking to me. So I would start on 70 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,040 Speaker 1: your own, Like, let's even forget about the relationship factor. Like, 71 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: you're you're an independent woman. You can decide whether or 72 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: not this is the kind of relationship you want to 73 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 1: continue having. But let's say you decide to stay with 74 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: this person. I think it's all about you creating a 75 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 1: huge like grand canyon, sides divide, and on one end 76 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 1: of that grand canyon is him, and on the other 77 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,120 Speaker 1: end of it is you and your money. So keep 78 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 1: it safe, keep your own savings accounts, keep your own 79 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: credit cards, make sure that they are hidden that he 80 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:03,040 Speaker 1: can't take them. And then as far as your assets 81 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: and the debts that he's been taking out, start to 82 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:09,039 Speaker 1: figure out you know what your if your name is 83 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: on any of those accounts. You may even want to 84 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:16,679 Speaker 1: speak with a family law attorney to because in your state, 85 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: like there's sometimes not sometimes often in different states they 86 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:24,719 Speaker 1: treat they treat spousal debt in different ways. And I'm 87 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: not sure where you're from, so I can't really speak 88 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,359 Speaker 1: to the laws in your state, but reaching out for 89 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: informational conversation or consultation with a family law attorney may 90 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,600 Speaker 1: help you figure out in your particular state, what can 91 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 1: be done to protect your assets from any bad acts 92 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: on his part, because that's that's the best thing you 93 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: can do. You don't mention children, so maybe you know 94 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: in this case things are a bit simpler. It's just you. 95 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 1: So I'm trying to think of other ways you could 96 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 1: potentially I mean this, this guy is unhinged. He literally 97 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: sounds unhinged. So I hope that you are. You can 98 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: reach out to someone who can give you some legal 99 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,279 Speaker 1: advice about how to protect yourself in your state. But 100 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 1: this does not sound like a healthy relationship. It sounds 101 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: really freaking scary. I hope that you're taking care of 102 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:13,280 Speaker 1: yourself and taking some steps toward protecting yourself and don't 103 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: necessarily blame yourself. I mean, listen, when people are when 104 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: people are this hell bent on taking risks with money, 105 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 1: I mean, there's something else going on there. It has 106 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: nothing to do with you, And it's not about how 107 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 1: you could have prevented it. Like if they're really determined, 108 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:35,359 Speaker 1: bound and determined to make these kinds of careless mistakes 109 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 1: when it comes to their finances, there's probably nothing you 110 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,039 Speaker 1: could have done. This is just about putting your own 111 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: oxygen mask on first and getting if you're not going 112 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: to get out of the relationship, at least protect yourself 113 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 1: financially so that you know you've got that safety and 114 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 1: security and you can take care of yourself at the 115 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 1: end of the day. I am wishing you really well. 116 00:06:55,839 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story, 117 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 1: and I hope you hear this and I hope that 118 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:05,039 Speaker 1: you're doing well. Okay, all right, who that was a lot. 119 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: Why don't we take a quick break, You break, and 120 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 1: I will be right back with more of your ba 121 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: q and as Okay, we are back with our second 122 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: and last question of the day. This one is a 123 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,000 Speaker 1: juicy one. It comes from a listener who would like 124 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: to remain anonymous, So I'm just gonna call her Hailey. Okay, 125 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 1: Hailey says, Hey, Mandy, I love the podcast, and I've 126 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 1: been loving the Q and A episodes lately. I have 127 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 1: a question I hope you can answer. I am resigning 128 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: from my position at a financial services firm due to 129 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: some really negative circumstances. I was sexually harassed and HR 130 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 1: essentially did nothing about it. There was never a formal 131 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: onboarding process, so I've been in the dark about many 132 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: fundamental elements of the role, and there's absolutely no trust 133 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: within the team I'm on. Everyone on the team, including 134 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: our director, have gossip to me about other members behind 135 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: their backs. I've heard that I shouldn't include complaints or 136 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 1: grievances in the letter of resignation, but if anyone asks 137 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: why I'm leaving, I've got page is worth of negative 138 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: experiences I could share. How would you approach this situation 139 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,320 Speaker 1: and would you include any of that in a letter 140 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: or exit interview? Sincerely, A millennial who seems to think 141 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: she can change the old white men in the finance 142 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:18,720 Speaker 1: industry with two crying face emojis, oh Man. Another woman 143 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,239 Speaker 1: who I just want to say, keep going, my girl, 144 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: I keep going. We need more of you out there. First, 145 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,960 Speaker 1: of all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had this awful 146 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: experience at a financial firm. No less, because we all 147 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 1: know financial services industries pay a lot of lip service 148 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: these days to wanting more women, especially women of color, 149 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:43,439 Speaker 1: joining the industry because they are struggling. They are finding that, oh, 150 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,319 Speaker 1: there's a lot of money to be had from having 151 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 1: diverse clientele, and yet we can't give them diverse financial representatives. 152 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 1: So let's go start a big marketing effort to get 153 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: more women and people of color to want to work here. 154 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: And clearly what they're doing is they're only thinking about 155 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: how to get us sup a door, but not how 156 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 1: to actually make us succeed once we get there. The 157 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: fact that you weren't even given any sort of orientation 158 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:11,439 Speaker 1: process and you're not really understanding your role, that screams 159 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:15,560 Speaker 1: it's giving, toxic work environment. It's giving we want you 160 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: on the brochure, but we don't really care about your 161 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:22,440 Speaker 1: longevity in this space or in your career. I'm really 162 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 1: glad that you're getting on a bat of there. I 163 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 1: hope your next job is nothing like this one. I 164 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: hope that they give you everything that you need to succeed. 165 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:32,400 Speaker 1: And I hope that you continue being open to leaving 166 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,720 Speaker 1: whenever you're not being valued where you work. Okay, so 167 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 1: a couple of things here. The sexual harassment unacceptable, the 168 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: fact that HR did nothing about it. That tells me 169 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 1: a lot about this company and why you are leaving. Now. 170 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 1: What to do when you feel like you've got a 171 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 1: list of grievances a mile long, and especially when it's 172 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 1: so fresh and you're about to resign, it feels like 173 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:57,800 Speaker 1: you want to let them know why you're leaving, And 174 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: I honestly support that. I think at this point on 175 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 1: your way out, how much do you have to lose 176 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,959 Speaker 1: by telling them exactly about your experience? And I think 177 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: you have to kind of carefully weigh your options here, 178 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: play it out in your mind. You know, who would 179 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: you be sharing this list of grievances to and what 180 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 1: would be the pros and cons here now in your 181 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 1: industry and maybe in your city, your state. It depends 182 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: on who's at this company and if you think they 183 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,839 Speaker 1: could make things more difficult for you in your career 184 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,640 Speaker 1: later on, because first and foremost, you have to protect yourself. 185 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 1: And I'm going to be a little bit of a 186 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: cynic here and say that if the issues were so 187 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: deep with this company that a sexual harassment claim was 188 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 1: not really dealt with in an appropriate manner, and someone 189 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: like you is resigning, you know, for that and other reasons, 190 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 1: that you telling them their issues is maybe not gonna 191 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: change things there for the better for the next person 192 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 1: behind you, Like, is it worth would it be worth 193 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,560 Speaker 1: potentially putting your career at risk if there are people 194 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,680 Speaker 1: working there now who could make things more difficult for 195 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 1: you down the road. Now, that's a question only you 196 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 1: can answer if you kind of weigh out the pros 197 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 1: and cons and you say, you know, I actually don't 198 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 1: have much to lose career wise, professionally, and maybe people 199 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,000 Speaker 1: work here they'll go on, But I feel like my 200 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 1: brand is strong enough, I've got a great network. Clearly, 201 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: you're great at your work because you were able to 202 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,600 Speaker 1: get a job when you wanted to. But if you 203 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 1: feel like pretty confident that no one at this company 204 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 1: will cause issues for me down the line, and on 205 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: top of that, you're willing to stick your neck out 206 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: there to make things potentially better for the next woman 207 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,280 Speaker 1: who's hired behind you, that's a valiant effort. That's a 208 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,120 Speaker 1: valiant step to take. In my opinion, it's brave. It 209 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 1: takes courage to put yourself out there in that way. Now, 210 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,840 Speaker 1: how to do it? I mean, you want to protect yourself, 211 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 1: So I would say, you know, putting it in an 212 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: email is one thing. If you have a conversation on 213 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:53,560 Speaker 1: the phone, absolutely record it. I'm all about kind of 214 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 1: having my voice memo on for certain phone conversations so 215 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,079 Speaker 1: that I have a record of it. But an email 216 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 1: is perfectly you know, if you don't have a formal 217 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,839 Speaker 1: exit interview process, what you could do is, you know, 218 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 1: write a letter and make sure that it's going to 219 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,840 Speaker 1: the people who have the actual power to change things. 220 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:15,079 Speaker 1: So I wouldn't send an all like company wide email 221 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: to the whole company list serve and just be like, 222 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 1: you know what, screw you, guys, I'm out. So let 223 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:23,200 Speaker 1: me let everyone know. I might start with head of HR, 224 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: your department, head whoever their bosses are, and just very 225 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: you know, objectively. And I think I mentioned on a 226 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 1: question from last week's episode about how important it is 227 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 1: to come with some evidence, you know, sit down and 228 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 1: make a list of here's what happened, here's the date, 229 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,880 Speaker 1: here are the key players, and here's how these things 230 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 1: made and actively contributed to me wanting to leave. And 231 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 1: if you approach it that way, I really I feel 232 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,839 Speaker 1: like that's that's the approach that I would personally take. 233 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: If from that email people want to have follow up 234 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,560 Speaker 1: phone calls and they want to talk to you, and 235 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 1: oh my goodness, we didn't know at that point. It's 236 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,679 Speaker 1: too late. It's their problem, and I wouldn't take any 237 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 1: of that burden on your shoulders to stick around any 238 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 1: longer than you absolutely have to and help them get 239 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 1: to the bottom of what happened. Like it's too late 240 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,320 Speaker 1: for all that. You're just trying to let them know 241 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,839 Speaker 1: so that things can maybe get a little bit incrementally 242 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: better for the next person who comes behind you. And 243 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,719 Speaker 1: I think that, honestly, you're doing them a service. You're 244 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 1: helping them. You're giving them an opportunity to clean up 245 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 1: a little bit and to get better. And if they 246 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,079 Speaker 1: take the opportunity or they don't, that's not on your shoulders. 247 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,960 Speaker 1: You can say what you got to say and then 248 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 1: keep it moving, all right. I'm so excited for you 249 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 1: about your new opportunity. Thank you for being brave enough 250 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:45,040 Speaker 1: to even consider the idea of telling them what happened 251 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,680 Speaker 1: to you. There is power in our stories. I hope 252 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 1: that they hear your story and they take action. But 253 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,640 Speaker 1: at least you can take heart in knowing that you know, hey, 254 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,520 Speaker 1: I went out of my way to tell them what happened, 255 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 1: and then kind of take that pressure off yourself and 256 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 1: take that burden off your own orders to actually create 257 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,720 Speaker 1: the change that obviously needs to be happening there so 258 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 1: that things are not so bad for the next person 259 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: who comes along. One thing that you didn't mention is 260 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 1: whether or not they already have a formal interview, a 261 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,320 Speaker 1: formal exit interview process. And if there is going to 262 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 1: be a formal exit interview, I would absolutely, you know, 263 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: come prepared with that list and ask them. You know, 264 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 1: I actually do have some points I'd like to make. 265 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,480 Speaker 1: Would you prefer I cover that in a phone call 266 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: or would you like me to just forward you on 267 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: this email and it can do the talking for me. 268 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 1: That's more than fine. Honestly, whatever is whatever's gonna get 269 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: your point across with the least amount of work on 270 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 1: your side, that's what I would do, so you can 271 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 1: save it for the exit interview. Like I said, if 272 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 1: you want to take things a step further, you could 273 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 1: make sure that a copy of those grievances are emailed 274 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: not just to the person conducting your exit interview, but 275 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: the people who are responsible for whatever grievances. You know 276 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 1: you're calling out their managers, like you can decide how 277 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 1: you want to escalate it. It all comes back to 278 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,800 Speaker 1: you know, what's the risk versus reward here and are 279 00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,520 Speaker 1: you doing things you know in a in a way 280 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 1: that is gonna help hopefully make things better for your 281 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 1: other colleagues you're leaving behind. And that can tell you, 282 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: like on a scale of one to really bad petty, 283 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 1: how petty you want to be. I would go for 284 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,440 Speaker 1: covering it in an exit interview, following up with an 285 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: email and just tagging copying the people who really have 286 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: the power to rectify the situation, copying on that, and 287 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 1: then let it go. At that point, you've done much 288 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: you need to do. Go to your new opportunity, go 289 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 1: to your new job, start this new chapter in your life. 290 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 1: Always remember what happened to you here so that it 291 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: makes you a better leader in the future, and talk 292 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: about it and you know, find people who can support 293 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 1: you in the future. And that's really all you're responsible 294 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 1: for at the end of the day. All right, miss 295 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: Haley aka a millennial who seems to think she can 296 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 1: change the old white men in the finance industry. Yes, 297 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 1: I hope you're not alone there because they, y'all, the 298 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,400 Speaker 1: financial industry needs so much help. Okay, that is it 299 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: for B, a Q and A for this week. I'mandy 300 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 1: Woodriff Santos. Thank you so much much for listening to 301 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 1: the show. Don't forget to subscribe, share, tell a friend, 302 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: tell a friend about Brown Ambition. Tag us on all 303 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: of your amazing social media posts. I love to see them. 304 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:15,240 Speaker 1: I comment, I share, I retweet, I reshare all that 305 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 1: good stuff. Thank you so much again, be a fan 306 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 1: and I will see you next week.